I heard a great sermon a few weeks ago. There was an illustration that encouraged me and gave me hope—but challenged me that often my feelings don’t tell me the truth.

The preacher reminded us we have three types of real enemies: our own sinful heart, the world, but also the evil, demonic horde. I loved the truth he highlighted: we live our whole lives between D-Day and VE-Day. Namely, Jesus has won the war, but the fighting isn’t complete. The other analogy he referenced was that we live each day like a basketball team up 100 points—we’re going to win! We don’t need to continue in fear that our adversaries are going to beat us. Super encouraging. So good.

However, despite the scoreboard telling us we can’t lose, we still get angry or have despairing feelings, don’t we? We get elbowed in the face and get upset. That we’ve already won the game won’t protect us from injuries we get before the final buzzer. So, if you’re like me, you might ask yourself this question—“Is this what winning feels like? I consider my life, my circumstances, my emotions, and it feels like losing. I know we’re more than conquerors, but is this really going to plan, Lord?”

If you look at the Bible, the Psalms in particular, you’ll see the wonderful truth that we can bring our questions and feelings to God—all of them. God’s not like us. He doesn’t get defensive when we show up, doubting him. He especially wants us to turn to him when we’re doubting, especially when we can’t see him working in our hardships. But God is so far above us and sees our lives and pain in such a different light that often the answer we get from him challenges us. Here’s the challenging picture that came to mind after I asked him, “Is this what winning feels like?”

I remembered Jesus praying in the garden before they showed up to arrest him, “saying, ‘Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me.’” (Luke 22.42a). Jesus, beaten beyond recognition, hanging, arms outstretched on the cross. What if in those moments Jesus had asked his Father the same question? “Is this what winning feels like? Surely not, surely this can’t be going according to the original plan set before we created the universe.” Jesus was in the deepest place that felt like crushing defeat, but he was winning! That pain was winning the eternal battle for souls...winning over death and sin...winning for eternity. The pain-gripped, stress-filled, agonized reply to us from our Lord is, “Yes. This is what winning feels like sometimes.”

So, follower of Jesus, here is your challenge and your hope. As you die to yourself and live for others, with God’s help—it will be really dark some days. BUT, as 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 says, “[W]e do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.”