Episode Transcript
Transcripts are displayed as originally observed. Some content, including advertisements may have changed.
Use Ctrl + F to search
0:01
This is exactly right.
0:06
This episode is brought to you in part
0:08
by the Commercial Break comedy podcast. Have
0:11
you ever
0:11
asked yourself one of the following questions?
0:14
What is a professional monster hunter?
0:16
Do people really marry their pets?
0:18
Should I learn to speak a Martian
0:20
light language? Of course,
0:22
you haven't. You have better things to do with your
0:24
time, but fear not, the commercial break comedy
0:27
podcast has plenty of time to waste answering
0:29
those very important questions and many
0:31
more. Longtime best friends,
0:33
Brian and Chrisie host the commercial
0:35
break to discuss life, love,
0:37
and the pursuit of sturdy
0:39
team. They use their unlikely friendship and personal
0:42
stories to discuss some insane topics and
0:44
trends from all over the world for talking
0:46
people dating ghosts, sinister ministers,
0:49
and so much more. The commercial break
0:51
is available wherever you find your favorite
0:53
podcasts or you can visit
0:55
key TCB podcast dot com
0:57
or go to youtube dot com slash
1:00
the commercial break.
1:01
That's TCB podcast dot com
1:03
or youtube dot com slash the commercial
1:05
break. Oh, thank you. You're welcome.
1:10
It's
1:12
hard to imagine losing a loved one,
1:14
a wife, a husband, a child. For
1:16
many, it's their biggest fear. I'm
1:18
Marissa Jones, host of The vanished.
1:20
A podcast at tells the stories of often
1:23
overlooked and unsolved missing persons
1:25
cases in an effort to uncover the
1:27
truth. Follow the vanished on Amazon
1:29
Music wherever you get your podcasts.
1:33
I leave it all. You wanna
1:36
wait that. Either way,
1:38
we It
1:41
doesn't matter how much baggage
1:43
you're going to give us time
1:45
and date. Germano and
1:48
Yay. We wanna
1:50
send you a We
1:54
wanna welcome you back call
1:56
them. Tell
1:58
us all about it. Were you scared?
1:59
Was it fine?
2:03
Now, for him.
2:19
Do you need a ride? Do
2:22
you need a ride? Do you need a ride? Do
2:24
you need
2:25
Do your need to ride? Do
2:27
your need to ride? Do need
2:30
to ride?
2:33
do you.
2:34
With
2:41
Karen and Chris,
2:45
Welcome
2:45
to do you need a ride. This
2:47
is Chris Fairbanks. And this is Karen Filgariff.
2:49
It was loud. again. You
2:51
really punched it, but I think that's good at
2:53
the top. It gets people's attention. Hey,
2:56
stop doing your data entry and pay attention
2:58
to us for
2:58
why. Right. Right. Like, way come up. Make
3:01
them adjust the their knobs.
3:02
Yeah. To Why don't you get some knobs
3:04
going? Better eye punches than you
3:06
punch. because that would mean we'd hit this
3:09
vault in the bumper. If you
3:10
hit a Chevy Volt in the back, it
3:13
will rust like an old battery.
3:15
A lot of people don't feel that. You
3:19
I'd feel like I don't know it because it's
3:21
one of the weirdest things I've ever said.
3:24
In front of your eyes, what happens? Just
3:27
a quick battery rust.
3:29
Yeah. It happens immediately. Like, you
3:31
just stabbed a vampire. just
3:35
dissipates in front of you. Chris speaking
3:37
of which, have you ever been a vampire
3:40
for Halloween? Yes. Yes.
3:43
while on stage. I had no.
3:47
I call out a lot of comedy clubs. I've not
3:49
had fun ass. but I was in
3:51
Houston. And No.
3:53
No. Who knows? Okay. You're
3:55
right. smart. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly.
3:58
I'm learning from my past mistake. Anyway,
4:01
at this joke time, I thought damn
4:03
it. Oh, shoot. It was
4:05
Halloween, and I'm about to do a standup
4:07
on Halloween again. in
4:09
Austin. It's important.
4:11
on Halloween, go see Chris Austin, Texas.
4:13
Yeah. Everything I'd say today
4:15
is gonna be a little plug of a
4:18
very specific thing. Cool. Going
4:20
backwards from Austin, the last stop
4:22
of my tour. Next story,
4:25
New Orleans. It's gonna be hard. I've never
4:27
been there. You don't have plans
4:29
to go. I I dress like
4:31
a vampire and did my
4:34
show as a vampire and I learned, do
4:36
not dress as I don't know
4:38
that I learned because I was evil canable at the
4:40
improv after that. You just shouldn't
4:43
I like to dress up for Halloween. Yeah.
4:45
And I decided to be a vampire -- Right.
4:48
-- in Houston. And I'd blot on
4:50
my face, and I think it took away from
4:52
my actual act? Yes. Did
4:54
now when you say you did your act as
4:56
a vampire, are we talking about a ton of V's? You
4:58
pronounced everything with a V's?
4:59
I lots of the deadness. Not
5:01
about it. Until I started talking.
5:04
And my normal voice came out, and
5:06
I was like, oh, thank god. Good.
5:08
Everyone's so well, my brain takes control
5:10
of it. so. And it's
5:12
not just fucking whoa. God,
5:14
yes, guns a blazing just being the
5:16
count. Yeah. It's
5:19
right. My second show. Can
5:22
you imagine how awful like you
5:24
have the potential to be? Yes. for sure.
5:26
Luckily, there's that other voice. Reality.
5:31
What's your favorite Halloween
5:33
costume? Oh, wait. Don't don't You know
5:35
it? We know the toilet lates. Yeah.
5:37
The toilet lates is the best, but
5:39
I've done little fake legs sitting on a
5:41
witch's And
5:45
that was a lot of work. I took
5:47
regular wood putty on a styrofoam
5:50
wig head, and I just made the
5:52
most gruesome, bloody witch had,
5:54
like, a horrifying little witch lady with
5:56
a hunchback -- Mhmm. -- that went under
5:58
my butt. Sure. And my pants I
6:00
cut a hole in them and my legs went
6:02
through the hole in my pants. I patted a
6:04
fake butt. So it's a
6:06
patted butt. And then my legs are
6:08
the witch's leg. Right. So I shaved my legs
6:11
and put little nighlons on and
6:13
then made little foam rubber legs. So I'm
6:15
sitting on a witch and her little arms where
6:18
just cotton stuffed and pantyhose --
6:20
Yeah. -- holding my leg, stowage on Flashback.
6:22
And you could you could do a little
6:25
I just did rodeo move this
6:27
in entire it was I was on sixth
6:29
Street in Austin. It's important to dress up
6:31
for Halloween in Texas. I think it's what I'm
6:33
letting everyone know. Austin, I
6:35
would say, especially Of course,
6:38
some drunken sick
6:40
the sixth street is so intimidating in
6:42
Austin. It's just It's like
6:45
Bourbon Street and some guy came
6:47
up and grabbed
6:49
the witch's head and and
6:51
mimicked Felicia. Oh.
6:54
And ripped her head off, and I was
6:56
so angry. I I almost got in
6:58
a fight over my costume. I used to
7:00
it. Oh, he would have beat the dickens out of
7:02
me. And it should have been about her
7:05
honor. Right. That that which
7:07
is You don't do that too. It's hard
7:09
to send to this to this model
7:11
of my grandmother. Even
7:12
witches deserve to have
7:14
consent and agency. Okay.
7:16
This this is in a honor
7:18
of how many times I sat
7:20
on the shoulders of my witch grandmother's
7:23
neck. How dare you frat boy?
7:25
You all sit on the shoulders of
7:27
witches you fools? Yes.
7:29
You wouldn't
7:30
be anywhere without wedges. That
7:34
being
7:34
said, my mother's day. Yeah.
7:37
He did. I have really made me mad at Was
7:40
he, like, blind dry? He was blind
7:42
eyed. Yeah. I
7:44
mean, that street
7:46
and I'll be there soon is
7:49
horrifying. Yeah. Well,
7:51
get on there. Be one of the horrifying people
7:53
stopping a victim. I was And stopping a
7:56
an attacker. You're right. I should.
7:58
That's what Halloween's all about. Just getting out in
8:00
front of people in terms of drunk,
8:02
drug, attack, mode. Yeah.
8:04
Anger and glitches. Yeah. Do
8:06
what the moon is making you do. Do
8:08
it. But do it. Don't make excuses.
8:10
I when I moved to Austin, I
8:12
was such an innocent Montana boy
8:14
with my my flannel and
8:16
my wood chopping block,
8:19
I lost I thought we were gonna die
8:21
just then. I know we tell. Honey, what comes down?
8:25
Yeah. From stopping by none of those
8:27
words at applied to reality.
8:29
I just thought we were gonna hit that forerunner.
8:32
And you want to get kind of a good
8:34
sense as Montana? Block
8:36
toaster govern. Lovechild. Oh, boy. From
8:38
Montana, what's the most symbolic
8:40
shopping block? And I
8:42
it just you go to Austin,
8:44
to go to sixth Street to do your first night
8:47
of comedy. And afterwards,
8:49
there are tattooed cops
8:51
in short shorts. Han horseback.
8:53
Yes. But Han beat drunken
8:56
people fighting in the streets. Oh my god.
8:58
This is like erotic fan fiction.
9:00
I love it. I want
9:02
that's all I want to look at. It
9:05
cool cops that understand how what
9:07
a problem we have with policing these days.
9:09
It is one of those same time like
9:11
this. is absolutely horrifying. And then I
9:13
glance over in a window, and I'm smiling.
9:15
And I'm like, what is wrong? What do you
9:17
mean? The drunks, they just deserve it, and
9:19
I deserve it. We get off on this next
9:22
exit. It takes one mile. Perfect. Well,
9:24
this is ringing bells. We've I've
9:26
messed this up for us We've tried
9:28
to do this a couple times. Do you know that
9:31
we plugged this episode
9:33
on our episode of
9:35
my favorite murder, which will have our
9:37
will have already been out, but to us
9:39
and this time comes
9:40
out tomorrow. Oh, wow. Weird.
9:42
That's great. I really pot cast
9:44
a lot with
9:45
Stephen. And
9:49
in it, Georgia refers to Billy Wayne
9:51
Davis as the Matt Damon of this show,
9:54
which I thought was kind of funny. Oh
9:56
my god. That's what I texted him. Did
9:58
you really? I said we have been
9:59
mentioning you the last three
10:02
episodes kind of like and
10:04
and our apologies to Matt Damon.
10:06
Right. About a lot of things.
10:08
Yeah. That's so funny. Yeah.
10:11
Yeah. Georgia. Maybe you know what? I've
10:13
been thinking about starting about gasping
10:15
Georgia. Oh,
10:15
I had it. I don't even care. About
10:17
skateboarding. She would
10:19
love that. necessarily. I don't I really don't know
10:21
what to say about this. No. That I
10:24
if I do do a new one, my apologize
10:26
to anyone who doesn't care, but it wouldn't be
10:28
about that. because it is
10:30
you know how people talk about sports
10:32
and then its eyes
10:34
so now. Yeah. I'm like because I just
10:36
Well, you have to be invested somehow. Which
10:39
way? Yeah. We
10:41
now will. Oh
10:43
my god. take a left
10:45
and then another
10:47
left. Another navigation snafu.
10:49
Mhmm. So fun to hear about it.
10:51
Yes. The
10:51
details are fascinating.
10:53
everyone does this. So when
10:55
I'm on a podcast or anXM
10:58
radio show like you and I were out Oh, yay.
11:00
On the twenty first, we were on
11:02
Fortune fivesters. Faster.
11:04
Faster. Faster. Yes. And --
11:06
And -- -- to chop up --
11:09
Yep. -- radio. -- show
11:11
on Exxon Radio. Now Netflix is a
11:13
joke. It has something to do with that.
11:14
Yes. It's the I think Netflix is a joke
11:17
radio. Radio. And
11:19
I think that this super company
11:21
is
11:21
serious, probably. Yeah. And it's
11:23
called papa and fortune
11:25
is the name of show. But anytime
11:28
I'm on a show like that or morning
11:30
radio or a pocket, you end up
11:32
talking, someone says, oh, look at you. how
11:34
you're dressed today. And I'm
11:36
always like no one's seeing my
11:38
flannel. But on their show, there is
11:40
cameras. So you can't do that. You know what,
11:42
though? I'm really tired. It
11:44
it's like, I got into podcasting to get
11:46
away from cameras. Then I have
11:48
to, like, get ready for half an hour early. I
11:50
don't know what you're saying. Yeah. It's me too. do
11:53
too. Yeah. I'm a man of a certain
11:55
age. I'm in a
11:57
TV show with Scott Backula. Why
11:59
can't I high. I
11:59
could use some under eye cream. This
12:02
one? Next one. And some next one.
12:04
Okay. We could use some over eye
12:06
cream too if you know what I'm saying. do
12:08
you? No. I don't. Could someone
12:10
tell me what I'm saying? Yeah. I don't. Do you mean an,
12:12
like, an eye mask or, you know, an eye
12:14
mask? This is a cream that one would put
12:16
under their under eye. I want to put
12:18
over my over eye. I can't put on your
12:20
over eye. I can't put on your over eye. over
12:22
eye. That's just real. Yeah. I
12:24
have my over eyes frozen. That tends
12:26
to get rid of the bags back
12:29
and forth. They treat two things
12:31
that don't make sense. It's like,
12:33
what's the serious radio show?
12:35
This one almost seventy. Oh,
12:40
the overarized.
12:42
there
12:43
is a
12:45
meme. Damn it. Okay.
12:53
tired. Oh, sometimes we have fun.
12:55
Yeah. Especially driving up
12:57
and down the two. Yeah.
12:59
Yeah. It's I just show you guys
13:01
that exit. In case you missed anything last
13:03
time, I really No. No.
13:05
It did it. It did it. I
13:07
didn't do it. No. It
13:09
did. Yeah. Did that. The
13:11
clown from the movie did
13:13
it. That was
13:15
like the movie phone voice. Yeah. Doing that
13:18
weird joke. The clown from the
13:20
movie hit it, seven
13:22
PM. We're gonna make a left. Number
13:24
one. about you are gonna dress
13:26
up around Halloween? I
13:28
don't think so. It it I
13:31
we got free dresses from
13:33
a a cool
13:36
Place website. One of the dresses was it's
13:38
just a plain black dress, but it has
13:41
the top part of it just has, like,
13:43
rib's skeleton.
13:44
Oh, cool.
13:46
So it's just n o and the bones go
13:48
down
13:48
the arms. Oh. But it's
13:49
basically a half skeleton. It stops at the
13:51
waist. There's there's a lady on the bottom and
13:53
you're dressed. but on top you
13:54
have roots. I have always
13:57
wanted to now it's a
13:59
common costume,
13:59
but when the villains in karate
14:02
kid all dressed like skeletons? Yes. It's
14:04
the coolest. And the I it's
14:06
weird how I was on their side. If it weren't
14:08
for their sun their sunset
14:10
being a crooked man. I think that
14:12
movie would be totally different for me. They
14:14
look they look the coolest. They
14:16
just look cool. It's way cooler
14:18
than being a shower.
14:19
curtain. Yeah. And being a lonely
14:22
and only hanging out with some weird
14:24
man that makes you do manual labor.
14:26
I these guys, at least they were friends,
14:28
having fun on the beach. Yep. A lot
14:30
of people take Ralph Machios. Not
14:32
a No. No. No. Wait.
14:34
No. I'm a fan of that actor, whatever
14:36
his name is. the sun from the equalizer.
14:39
Yes. Oh, no one's gonna know.
14:41
Blondie? Yeah. Blondie guy.
14:43
Mister Blondie? Mhmm. He was
14:45
Edward Woodworth. son,
14:47
the equalizer. Well, see, really? Yeah.
14:50
Oh, I remember one episode of the equalizer
14:52
that was so creepy. Have we talked about this
14:54
before? It was a great show. I
14:55
loved that show. Yeah. But there
14:57
was one episode about a very abusive
15:00
father and his child and
15:02
wife, and it was so dark
15:04
and so fucked up and it was basically kind
15:06
of like it was it was like
15:08
he was a super control freak and he was a
15:10
rager and all this stuff and it was
15:12
really And
15:14
the equalizer came in and killed an abusive
15:16
father, I
15:16
believe. Oh, wow. Or got
15:18
him arrested or I don't know. Yeah. Get rid
15:20
of him so that this child wasn't
15:23
plagued by his father-in-law.
15:24
You see him? Even in
15:26
Miami vice, or as
15:28
I noticed in any GI Joe cartoon
15:30
as a kid, well, of course, the cartoons.
15:32
But people don't they blow up and then you
15:34
see them dive out of the boat as it
15:36
explodes. Yeah. So you're like,
15:38
okay. Those guys they swim to safety. Yeah. They
15:40
were drug dealers. Drug
15:42
dealers can swim? Oh, they're great
15:44
at it. Especially when you're all coped
15:46
up. Yeah. twenty laps in
15:48
the pool. Or he's like, I'm gonna do
15:50
a goddamn brushstroke. I've
15:52
never even done this before. I'm on
15:54
top of the world. Give me more a row cow.
15:58
Is
15:59
Raquel, like, Raquel powder? Yeah.
16:02
Yeah. Love it. That that actually actually
16:04
is a that's a phrase coined by
16:06
Brendan Walsh. I say it a lot. Is that true?
16:08
Yes. Rowdy powder or ralpow.
16:10
Rowdy powder. I So Ral
16:12
Powell is mine too. Well, okay. So be
16:14
proud. It's on your side too.
16:16
Sure. But you kinda have to know Brandon's
16:19
first. His whole thing? Yeah. Yeah.
16:21
Yeah. so. I am turns
16:23
out I'm a joke, Steve. Well, hey, aren't
16:25
we all? I guess so. It's
16:27
hard not to. Especially these
16:28
days, being addicted to Twitter you
16:30
just read people's ideas all the time,
16:33
like, I came up with this thing that made me laugh
16:35
so hard last night on stage
16:36
about talking about how when
16:39
you die hair, you look even older. And I was
16:41
like, I'm one, a
16:43
crucifix outside of my sweater vest, away
16:45
from being the guy from my pillow.
16:47
And there's
16:49
just no way that I thought of that.
16:51
It's it's It must be a tweet.
16:53
Anytime a joke comes easy
16:55
to me, and it is also
16:57
funny. And, like, there's no way -- Yeah. --
16:59
stars a line -- I'm dead. -- someone
17:01
else. And sometimes I'm right.
17:03
Yeah.
17:03
It's not
17:04
cool. You know what? It's so dark out now that
17:06
I think I need my regular glasses. Can
17:08
you help? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Can
17:10
you help? I feel like a caddy
17:12
Get my
17:15
things. Oh, okay. They're in the
17:17
beige colored -- Yeah. -- that's naked.
17:19
That's naked. Okay. I just wanted to
17:21
grab it and feel it. It was MCS
17:23
shirt type print on it. It's like a hard
17:26
glasses case. Okay. Let's look
17:28
in here. There's there I don't think there's anything
17:30
embarrassing in there. It's a hand
17:32
gun. God. some
17:36
milk control. Earth control.
17:39
And brass knuckles in the
17:41
same container.
17:42
I'm a mom and lady.
17:44
Oh, okay. up a bend a drill
17:46
or pseudo Fed. I'm not seeing a
17:49
glass's case. What is wrong with me? What about
17:50
regular gold glasses in the
17:52
side pocket? the old eight
17:54
ball corner. Shit
17:57
balls. Not happening.
18:00
Yeah. Oh, I shouldn't have
18:02
looked there. legal pad
18:04
for your lowering. There's
18:06
no Oh, god. It's because it's
18:08
the same color as the liner. Yeah.
18:10
It was a beige. And it's
18:12
a deep purse. It's deep. Thank
18:15
you. You're welcome. Thank you. And
18:17
I've been listening to a band called
18:20
bleached, and I think it's how your
18:22
new band should sound. Okay. Then
18:24
I'll send you some tracks. Okay.
18:26
Cool. And I still don't know what
18:28
I'll do. in the
18:30
band, but Do you wanna
18:32
skateboard? Maybe roadie and do some stage
18:34
skating. Okay. Cool. You can open with some
18:36
stage skating. Anyway, I saw
18:38
them live, and it was so fun.
18:40
And her voice sounds like
18:42
Belinda Carlisle, and it's like --
18:44
Awesome. -- that kind a beachy garage
18:46
surf punk that's melodic, a
18:48
lot of harmonizing. It was two
18:51
sisters, which it's fun. I like
18:53
siblings. I don't but it's just Invoice. --
18:55
alright. Yeah. When they get along and
18:57
they're harmonizing, their backs are
18:59
together like -- Yes. -- motley crew,
19:01
you're to do. They were, like, looking at each
19:03
other. You can tell they're related. Both
19:05
of them have their skills
19:08
set, and it they rock it
19:10
was a great rock show. That's awesome.
19:12
That's my book report on a
19:14
the book that is a band called
19:16
bleach. I
19:16
feel like I have heard the name of the man
19:18
and I feel like people have told
19:20
me I should listen to
19:21
it -- Yeah. -- before. You should. And
19:23
I'll and then they'll have, like, a dancing song
19:26
that's kind of disco y with whistling,
19:29
but it's still kind of punk rock. It's they're just
19:31
great. They do it all? It's kinda like
19:33
always or the best coaster or one of
19:35
those kind of Yeah. real
19:38
sucker for this fast
19:40
paced rock and roll Indy
19:42
car with laney singers.
19:44
It's the us. Yep. That's the way
19:45
to go. What do we do in
19:48
here people?
19:49
It was funny though it was an all age of
19:51
show and that used to be a thing
19:54
that I would shy
19:56
against, but it was kind of fun to see
19:58
cool parents bringing
19:59
their fifteen year old kids
20:02
with their headphones to a rock and roll show when they were
20:04
loving it. And I'm like, okay. Yeah. That's
20:06
cool. If I ever end up in some parent
20:08
situation, some parent trap.
20:10
I'm gonna try and be cool. I don't
20:13
know. That's a good idea. Not
20:15
like at a party, like, hey, who
20:17
wants to hear some guitar? but, you
20:19
know, just bring can you play the guitar?
20:21
No. No. So I really wouldn't
20:23
it really would backfire. Yeah. Oh,
20:25
wait. Make a lift here. Yes.
20:29
Okay. It's good. It's good. Oh,
20:31
god. It's okay. No. I
20:33
love the from those wheels
20:35
slip to the wheels of grip. This car has a hell
20:37
of aender chassis.
20:38
So it's amazing.
20:40
We we were high centered, but I felt
20:42
that one break. I feel
20:44
We went past we went past it by two
20:46
streets. Jesus, h.
20:48
I feel like
20:50
I need to make this set
20:52
this up because there is a GPS in
20:54
this car that it seems like it would
20:56
just be so much easier if I could
20:58
look right there, but don't know
21:00
how to make it work. Oh, well, we
21:02
can figure out that next time. But we can
21:04
do a whole episode based on that.
21:05
Oh, special content. This
21:08
that'll go behind pay it's so good.
21:11
Yeah.
21:11
Yeah. So we must program GPS.
21:13
Yeah. Yeah. If you pay our Patreon
21:16
fee, you get GPS episodes.
21:19
then we'll do
21:19
it in the we'll have to sign it up with a
21:21
cookie monster voice. That's funny. Yeah.
21:23
My sister does that. She changes her
21:26
way's voice. and,
21:27
like, most recently, it was cookie monster.
21:29
And when she first told me, I was like, Laura,
21:31
and then when we got into the car
21:33
and it go right up there and we
21:35
all start laughing. It was like
21:38
the greatest ever. Are you
21:40
a person that's watching
21:42
succession? Yes.
21:43
I am. And
21:44
have you watched them final? Yes. I
21:46
did. When they're on the boat and they're, like,
21:49
just used what
21:51
they said what why why were they using?
21:53
They were using They were they were making fun
21:55
of Roman. I believe. Yeah. Yeah. So
21:58
funny in that. Oh, he's so
22:00
good. Yeah. It's a great show, but then
22:02
bums me out at the same time.
22:04
It's very depressing
22:05
and very hilarious. Like,
22:07
yeah, it's rough. But that that Roman
22:10
thing, like, the spoilers,
22:11
spoilers, spoilers, everyone. alert,
22:13
alert, alert. But that
22:15
thing where she got my kidnapped, and
22:17
then he was just like, Whatever. I don't
22:19
know. It's pretty scary. Like, it's
22:21
so realistic at how people
22:24
are of these. Especially, I think people in that
22:26
situation, they can't have feelings. They can't
22:28
have, like,
22:28
reactions. They can't show weakness. Yeah.
22:30
If they were gonna pull out my guts out of
22:32
my b h and fill me with cement.
22:35
He sent cement. He's like, oh my god.
22:37
Yeah. That's gonna be in a scary
22:40
movie. We
22:42
are almost to be W. D.'s house.
22:44
Goddamn. I This office is
22:46
just gonna be us trying Trying to get there
22:48
and then giving up showing
22:50
enough time. Driving past him and
22:52
yelling goodbye. You've been listening.
22:54
He's gonna be like, well, my baby woke up. I
22:56
can't do it. Oh, he's got a Billy.
22:58
Let's see. a baby. That's the baby has been
23:00
the crucial element where, like,
23:03
the first time he I I was
23:05
late coming from down again.
23:07
So should I go
23:08
left your steeder? And he
23:11
was like, sorry, my the
23:13
babysitters has to leave it.
23:15
So basically, nobody could be flexible
23:17
because I was late. And
23:19
then he he
23:19
couldn't stretch it or whatever. Do
23:22
you need a ride? feel
23:26
like he got a babysitter just
23:28
for this? Me. No. It sounds
23:30
like they they might have
23:32
a babysitter. Okay. you know,
23:34
a person who comes and helps them. I I'm
23:36
not sure. We should ask
23:37
him. Let's save all this gold.
23:39
I can't wait to talk Talk.
23:44
He'll use a
23:46
baby voice when I ask about his baby. That's
23:48
That won't be annoying. I think parents love
23:50
stuff like that. the one way Yeah. Okay. That's
23:53
one thing they like to do is all the baby talk.
23:55
They wanna do it outside the house when
23:57
their baby isn't there. With adults, yeah,
23:59
Yeah. So fun. The sky
24:01
is amazing looking tonight. It
24:03
is amazing looking, but we're also at
24:06
that a twilight hour where
24:08
I can't see for
24:10
some reason. Yes, I kind of
24:12
can either. Do you need a
24:14
ride that's brought you in part by better
24:17
health? Life can
24:17
be complicated, messy, and challenging
24:19
at times. And when that happens,
24:21
it's normal to feel stuck or not like
24:23
yourself. But everyone deserves
24:26
to feel their best and better
24:28
help makes it easy to
24:30
get started. I
24:30
love my therapist, but when I
24:32
first started, I was really
24:35
scared to go and actually start talking
24:37
to somebody about these things
24:39
that seemed really big and difficult. And
24:41
the idea that with better help, you can
24:43
start that online, like from the privacy
24:45
and safety of your own home. It's like a
24:47
baby step way to start, and then Once
24:49
you start it, you'll see that it's actually
24:52
really easy and makes you feel good.
24:54
Betterhelp is the world's largest therapy
24:56
service and has matched millions of people
24:58
with professionally licensed embedded therapists
25:00
available a hundred percent online.
25:02
Better help is convenient, affordable,
25:04
secure, and entirely online, so you can
25:06
enjoy all the benefits in person
25:08
therapy without any of the hassle.
25:10
Getting matched with the right therapist is
25:13
simple and convenient. Just
25:15
fill out brief questionnaire and better help will
25:17
pair you accordingly. And if
25:19
things aren't clicking, you can
25:21
switch to a new therapist at
25:23
any time. So get
25:25
unstuck with better help. Learn more
25:27
and save
25:27
ten percent off your first month at betterhelp
25:29
dot com slash
25:30
diner. That's better HELP
25:34
dot com slash DYNAR
25:37
Thank you. Oh,
25:38
you're
25:39
welcome.
25:41
Look, you don't
25:41
write an elevator for the music or
25:44
pick an airline for the movies. So
25:46
when it comes to audio entertainment, it just
25:48
makes sense to choose Audible.
25:50
It's the home for stories told by the biggest stars
25:53
like Ethan Hawk, Kerry Washington and
25:55
Kevin Hart. Audible is the home of
25:57
storytelling with epic adventures mysteries,
25:59
and can't miss
25:59
comedies. Let your imagination
26:02
soar with audiobooks, podcasts, and
26:04
originals. Audible has an incredible selection
26:06
of audiobook across every genre from
26:08
best sellers and new releases to celebrity
26:10
memoirs, mysteries and thrillers, motivation,
26:12
wellness, business, and more. I actually
26:14
just finished listening to one of my new favorite audiobooks.
26:16
It's called How to Do Nothing by Jenny O'Dell.
26:19
And I walked around my neighborhood, so I was
26:20
doing something, but I really enjoyed
26:23
it. I
26:23
love taking a long walk and
26:25
listening to an audiobook and Audible. I
26:27
just finished moon of the crusted snow
26:30
highly recommend it's like a apocalyptic thing, which
26:33
is always my jam these days. And
26:35
yeah, it just feels good to be able to like
26:37
listen to this incredible audio
26:39
book while you're also like accomplishing
26:41
something double whammy. Let Audible
26:43
help you discover new ways to laugh,
26:45
be inspired, or entertained. New
26:48
members can trade free for
26:50
thirty days. Visit audible dot
26:52
com exactly right
26:54
or text exactly right to five
26:56
hundred five hundred. That's
26:57
audible dot com slash
27:00
exactly right or text
27:00
exactly right to five hundred five
27:03
hundred to try audible free for thirty
27:05
days. audible dot
27:06
com slash exactly right.
27:09
I'm Carrie
27:10
Mulligan, the host of i hear
27:13
fear, a new anthology series of
27:15
terror. The stories in this
27:17
podcast things that people don't want to talk about when the sun's out
27:19
and the world's supposed to make sense. But
27:21
you and I know better, don't we? We
27:23
know that
27:23
the best, Horace stories
27:26
are the ones we tell each other in the
27:28
dark. So
27:28
turn off your lights and
27:30
close your eyes. In each episode of
27:32
I hear fear, he'll be treated to a new
27:35
psychological thriller, a forest monster
27:37
who lures teens into the woods and
27:39
never lets them return. A line of
27:41
beauty products that takes search for youth to
27:43
dark extremes, and an EDM
27:45
party that turns deadly when the DJ
27:47
takes over more than just the dance
27:49
floor, strap in. as
27:51
these twisted stories and paranormal events take
27:53
you on a suspenseful and thrilling
27:56
ride. I hear fear will introduce
27:58
immersive a and lead you straight
27:59
into the heart of darkness. Hey
28:02
Prime
28:02
members, listen to the Amazon Music
28:05
exclusive podcast I hear fear in
28:07
the
28:07
Amazon Music app. download the
28:09
app today.
28:10
Okay. And now, we'll cue the
28:13
guest waiting music. Doo
28:14
doo doo doo were you gonna do
28:16
that, Steven? I
28:17
think it was the same exact like melody.
28:19
Too
28:26
many birds. Too many birds. Blah. Blah.
28:29
Blah. Blah.
28:30
Blah. Look at that. Oh, does he have shoes
28:32
on? No. Flip flops and jeans
28:35
just like you. Oh, man.
28:38
I mean I mean
28:40
Those are thin ones. Louis.
28:43
Yes.
28:45
Yes. Finally. I don't believe
28:47
this. Yeah. Yeah. I can't
28:49
believe we've actually done that. Is
28:51
this Steven rail? Like,
28:54
I was in the hammock on
28:56
the front porch going like
28:59
We tried
29:02
our best to be on time, but we couldn't do it.
29:04
It just would we had some navigation
29:06
issues, to be honest. When we're driving
29:08
and talking, it's like hard
29:10
to it's a terrible idea.
29:13
Like, what if I really need it or not? I'd
29:15
be like, we're just not. Yeah. No
29:17
way. I I did have recently
29:19
where
29:22
well, it's the first time I was going on a trip where
29:24
I wasn't making money,
29:26
but I was, like, doing a thing, but I had AAI
29:28
was part of a team, and they were already
29:31
there. And I was like, there's no
29:32
real reason for me to go. But
29:36
I that like a deep back of
29:38
my head. And then I got
29:40
in a lift and the
29:43
guy had one eye. Oh.
29:45
I was like, well, this is gonna
29:47
the best of the workflow. Yeah. Yeah.
29:50
Like heightened ability. Yeah. Where he's
29:52
gonna, like, just know stuff
29:54
because he can smell it
29:56
or he's had to prove because of assholes
29:58
like me. Let's let's see what you got. One eye.
30:00
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like, I'm
30:02
good. You can watch this. So
30:06
hey, There's my wife and child.
30:08
Oh. Oh.
30:10
And dog. And my dog. Yeah.
30:12
Wow. He's a man with
30:14
them. I don't know. Beautiful thing. You know what I
30:16
mean? It's a work -- Truly. --
30:19
physical specimen. Yes. No. When I yeah.
30:21
I came of the bedroom. He was in the
30:23
living room. I was like, oh, hello?
30:25
Did you have any questions then? I
30:27
can't even be mad. I would leave everyone
30:30
there. Who
30:33
are you, sir? You wanna be on
30:35
a bachelor? Either way, here's
30:38
some roses. It doesn't matter
30:41
what you pick. And so, Dave, when
30:43
I get you all one Oh, no.
30:45
It was a I'm sorry. Yeah.
30:47
And and
30:49
so he made one turn where
30:51
I was like, the first turn he made, I
30:53
was like, maybe he knows something
30:56
that I don't.
30:58
Maybe he knows, like, a back road where You
31:00
know, because there's always those parts of LA where
31:02
you're just, like, I don't even know this was
31:04
a community. Right. Right. Yep. When I
31:06
lived here seven years. And so and I
31:08
was watching on my phone because I was a
31:10
little worried that I travel so much.
31:12
You guys don't wanna talk you're just
31:15
like, I'm gonna get there about
31:16
seven minutes before everything's
31:19
okay. Yeah. Yeah. And you
31:21
can normally really did that. And I
31:23
looked and the turn added fifteen
31:26
minutes, like, instantly. Oh, I was
31:28
like, I was like, well,
31:30
he made a mistake. I was okay.
31:32
Maybe he's like, you know, there's a tunnel.
31:35
And I still didn't wanna say anything.
31:37
Yeah. No. I was just like, okay.
31:39
And then he
31:41
didn't seen the care. And then he made another time that I was
31:43
like, this I feel like this is
31:45
very wrong. And he went
31:48
down the road, and it was just jam packed.
31:50
And I looked down and it added fifteen.
31:52
But so that that's thirty minute. Oh,
31:54
no. So I will
31:56
get
31:56
there when the plane you know,
31:58
when the door was shutting.
31:59
Mhmm. And I was like, oh, at this point,
32:02
if anything happens between now and
32:04
then I'm not gonna make
32:06
it. So and
32:08
I would have never done this before,
32:10
but I was like, oh, okay. And
32:12
I I was like, this is good.
32:14
And he, like, pulled over and I
32:16
got out. And I just, like,
32:18
canceled this. The Southwest I
32:20
just canceled it and the money. Oh,
32:22
wow.
32:22
Wow. Oh, I was so
32:25
pleased with it, and then I walked back.
32:27
I was so happy with myself. We
32:29
have far away from your position. all in
32:31
the hair. Oh, nice. Yeah. A
32:33
little a little jogged in for
32:35
yourself. Yeah. And it was everyone's just sitting
32:37
in traffic and I'm just like, hey, I don't
32:39
have to go do the same now. Man,
32:42
I admire you in just
32:44
fair the decision making. ability,
32:46
which I have trouble with, and then also being
32:48
able to handle a flight over the phone that quickly,
32:50
I guess, with Southwest, it's easy. No. You do
32:52
it on your phone.
32:54
Really? Billy you know? On the app?
32:57
Twenty
32:57
nineteen. In the app.
33:00
This is what apps are all about. Yeah.
33:02
That's the whole reason. That's why I'm addicted to him. you
33:04
think the guy knew? Well, first of all,
33:06
I don't think I do not think he gave
33:08
his shit what was he was just like, alright. Have
33:10
a good day and I was like, alright.
33:12
Oh, he didn't even question it?
33:14
No.
33:15
No. because I
33:17
usually when I'm in one of those
33:19
cars and I'm like, oh, can just let me
33:21
off here instead. They're like, are you are
33:23
you sure? We only have half a block left
33:25
to go. Like like I don't know where
33:28
I live. I
33:30
Yeah. They hate it, man. On
33:32
the way
33:32
to take a plane to
33:35
Bridgetown, it's like two
33:37
years ago, or whenever the one before the
33:38
last one. I had to
33:40
work, so I had to take, like, the the flight
33:42
at, like, six o'clock or
33:45
something like that. And I got a
33:47
Uber driver or a Lyft driver
33:50
that something was wrong with him. Like, I
33:52
think he had brain
33:54
damage. Oh, wow. Because he did
33:56
the
33:56
thing where Of course.
33:58
A minute. There's a lot of
33:59
hard to get. I did it for, like,
34:02
the two weeks to pass an with,
34:04
like, you just turn on your phone to make
34:06
money. Right. You can't. No. You can't. You're the
34:08
kind of geek about it. But
34:10
he
34:10
talked and let every time
34:12
he's spoke, which was a ton, he would take his foot off the gas. So
34:14
he would it it would be like he need to
34:16
make the point before he would keep going. Oh, he didn't
34:18
know how to multitask.
34:19
He did not know
34:21
a multitask with the
34:23
male thing, and he
34:26
started telling me about how his mother doesn't believe
34:28
in him.
34:29
And we were Well,
34:31
to meet her mother, did you start, yeah, siding with her
34:33
pretty quickly? almost immediately. I wanted to
34:35
get her on the phone.
34:39
Yeah. And then and, basically,
34:41
he made it so that I missed
34:43
my flight towards town. And I missed
34:45
the first night of show I was
34:47
supposed to be on. I was supposed to do the goddamn
34:49
comedy jam, and I can't remember something
34:51
else. And I was
34:54
just, like, as I was pulling
34:55
up, I was just texting Charlene, and I was just,
34:57
like, I wish I wish I
34:59
was telling you a
35:01
story right now. but I there's something wrong with this
35:03
Uber driver to the point where I think I should
35:06
call -- Right.
35:06
-- and tell the company this shouldn't be
35:08
a person that picks anybody up because
35:12
And when good luck with that. Wow. You're just like his mom.
35:14
Yeah. Just
35:16
one more woman who doesn't believe
35:19
doesn't believe in her. Well, it's something I didn't believe
35:21
in you. You just proved
35:24
me correct. You just drove
35:26
us
35:26
up onto the sidewalk.
35:27
When it's young, when I
35:29
got in the car, I was riddled
35:31
with
35:31
bleeding. And you cleared
35:34
it out of my system.
35:35
Yeah. You did a good job. So when you
35:37
because usually, looking at the because someone said,
35:39
like, right now, for instance, I could have just lost my eye and
35:42
you wouldn't know. So did this
35:44
guy turn
35:46
around on let you know. Yeah. Oh, yeah.
35:48
They always do that. But I also have, like, a
35:50
picture of me as a like a
35:52
first grader. Mhmm. And
35:54
I don't look that
35:56
different. I have the shirt. It's not
35:57
it's a different one. It's one. I have the
35:59
Miami
35:59
vice. Thanks.
36:02
No.
36:02
the one where you have the No.
36:04
No. I have, like, a different hairdo. I had two sisters. I
36:06
had a good time of man. Right? Oh,
36:08
yeah. It's true. because they on
36:11
it. And they and they were younger, but they you know,
36:13
they're smarter. So Again,
36:17
dude. I've said it's
36:19
taken me a long time to admit that too.
36:21
They're smarter. Sure. For a long time,
36:23
like, no. But it was just me being, like,
36:25
I'd still punch them. Yeah. Yeah.
36:27
Yeah. I never would. I would if I did that, that'll
36:30
be the scariest thing I could ever do
36:32
because my dad would be like, well, not to rip your
36:34
head off. If you punch your sister?
36:36
Oh, god. Yeah. out.
36:38
Where are you from? Tennessee. Tennessee. Yeah.
36:40
But I may I I think that's
36:42
just any state. Were
36:45
you were you ever that states for the Seattle
36:47
thing. It's more family to family. Yeah. I think
36:49
it's a raising children thing. Yeah. Like,
36:51
did you you did live in Seattle for
36:53
a while. Right? Yes. that's
36:55
where I'm at. You know? Yes. Yeah. Was that your first,
36:57
like, where you started to stand up?
37:00
No. Oh, you start in Tennessee? Yeah.
37:02
Oh, awesome. I
37:03
mean, sure. Like, we were
37:05
talking before a parallel thought or hearing a thing. And I am like a
37:07
a joke
37:08
about football jerseys.
37:12
And runing
37:14
for laundry, I think, was the phrase. And Billy,
37:16
I just met him. He's Billy, hey, man.
37:19
That's pretty much a seinfeld joke.
37:21
And I was like, no. no.
37:23
It's just something my dad used
37:25
to say. My dad who's a big fan
37:27
of Seinfeld. So, really, I
37:29
didn't have that. Yeah. And then I looked because there's a
37:31
lot of things, my dad. What's I he's written a lot
37:33
of my jokes just by me. Sure.
37:36
Yeah. Yeah. I
37:39
-- Yeah. -- deserve to. Yeah. About both. Yeah. I
37:41
have jokes that from both parents.
37:43
And and then I
37:45
looked it up on YouTube and it was almost
37:48
verbatim. He's just you know, that's the
37:50
thing. If you're not a professional comedian,
37:52
that's your material. It's just fucking
37:54
funny stuff. if you hear. Yes. All of my
37:56
everything I said
37:56
and a lot of the tags for
37:58
the first, like,
37:59
three years of
38:02
comedy were just were from, like,
38:04
Fletch. There were just lines from
38:07
Fletch and lines from, you
38:10
know, like, all those, like, movies from around that time. And then I
38:12
would see the movies and then
38:13
hear, you know, whatever the person
38:15
say, sit down before
38:18
you fall down or something. I'd be like, oh my god. I stole that. I that
38:20
too. because that's all we
38:22
did. We get you're just repeating
38:25
stuff. That's how you figure out rhythm. Yep. I
38:27
do remember
38:28
you telling like me telling
38:30
you that and, I mean, we're both drinking
38:32
too at a comedy club. Yeah.
38:34
so I probably didn't say this cool as I thought
38:37
I did. But I thought I was helping you.
38:39
You know what I mean? Are
38:42
much were helping me. Well, I was like, hey, that's a very famous
38:44
joke. Yeah. Right? And I was horrified,
38:46
and I'm like, I've never stolen, you
38:48
know, content. And I didn't mean it.
38:51
like, hey. Oh, I know. And that's not
38:53
even funny. Yeah. The rest of your act wasn't
38:55
like, okay. This guy's just stolen. Yeah. And
38:57
the rest of my act was like, okay.
38:59
aren't even really dope. He's messing
39:02
messing up on purpose.
39:04
He's just he's good messing up.
39:06
So he just keeps talking talking --
39:08
It's without stopping. -- but he's powering through this -- Oh, I
39:10
do nicely. -- I respect it. Well, thank
39:13
you. But let's let's let's let's let's
39:15
early comedy. He's like, I
39:18
just respect teed it and quit. Just
39:20
don't cry on stage and you'll make friends.
39:23
Good day. Just Hey, man, we
39:26
can't cry in this building. You can't
39:28
just don't do it. That's why everyone's
39:30
done a lot of drugs for your
39:32
best. Now, Billy, did
39:33
you know that you are often talked about
39:35
when people ask us sorry,
39:38
Chris, but when people ask
39:40
George and
39:41
I about how we
39:44
started my favorite murder, you are in
39:46
the origin
39:46
story of that. Did you
39:48
know that? I
39:49
didn't know that. I did not know that. So do
39:51
you remember
39:51
that it was Matt McCar this Halloween
39:54
party, you know,
39:54
twenty fifteen. Yeah. I was
39:56
on. Twenty fifteen? Yeah. You really helped
39:58
me out that night. Did
40:00
I? Yeah. I thought I bummed you out.
40:02
I
40:02
don't think so. Well, because Well, I was on the
40:05
most edibles I've ever
40:08
felt. Now that I looked like like it was
40:10
a while ago, and it
40:12
was like also
40:14
that apartment is not was it like
40:16
an LA style apartment? No.
40:18
So I was it mentally prepared to
40:20
go in that space. And I was
40:22
like, this is the worst. And there's
40:25
like there's like vaguely famous people.
40:27
Yeah. I remember that. It
40:29
was intense. But also, I
40:31
started telling a story about because
40:33
I think everyone smoked a joy. I
40:35
started telling a story about
40:37
a car accident, a terrible, you know, like, the
40:39
multi. Yep. Yeah. The witness to his
40:41
car accident, and I was telling a story
40:43
as if isn't this
40:46
interesting, and I turned to look at you and I watched
40:48
the blood leave your face. And
40:50
you stepped back and went, I have
40:52
to get out of here. What?
40:56
left the room and I was like, oh my god, what's
40:58
wrong with me? Like and right is
41:00
that started happening where I was like,
41:02
I'm such a ghoul. Georgia
41:05
came running at me going, oh my god. I wanna hear
41:07
every word of this.
41:08
Oh, wow. Wow. So
41:10
it basically was you had
41:13
a firsthand kind of hand in the inception of
41:15
us thinking about Pega. So
41:17
anyway, thanks so much. You're welcome.
41:19
It really helped us a lot. Billy and
41:22
I can
41:24
guess what was happening. I don't remember. But it's that
41:26
thing of, like, when you're
41:28
on that
41:29
many, and it's kinda a
41:31
hallucinogen when you're doing edibles if you do a lot
41:33
of them. Mhmm. because it doesn't heat you the way
41:36
smoking it does. That
41:37
it was just like the what you brought
41:39
up was so intense. It was like, well, this is the opposite of how I need to
41:42
feel right now. Yeah. I'm not mad
41:44
at you, but I have
41:46
to not be in this space right
41:48
now. Yeah. Yes. I
41:49
nothing against you, but I have to
41:51
get away from you. Yeah. Also, I
41:53
I think it's the average
41:56
party
41:56
with, like, you know, people who are
41:58
just kind of like, hey, it was also kind
42:00
of near the beginning of the party. It
42:02
wasn't, like, the end, the drags
42:04
or whatever. People are just kinda
42:06
like first starting to mix and mingle. And I immediately tell
42:08
a horrifying story, true story,
42:12
of a terrible accident where it's like everyone who was
42:14
even lightly high was just like, whoa,
42:17
whoa, like backing
42:18
up a lot but
42:20
we're ramping it a different way. It was like, hey, this
42:22
this that ramp new franchise about
42:25
it. It was a actual horrifying
42:27
thing where people around you in the line died.
42:30
Right? Absolutely horrifying.
42:32
Yes.
42:32
It was really bad. And
42:35
I
42:35
Why not at a party, especially at
42:37
Abrick? I'm telling Matt, you called it
42:39
party, Abrick. Someone had it in
42:41
that. And that's average party. I just meant it was, like,
42:43
average. It was fun. She just got a bath. It
42:46
was a bath.
42:48
It was that's such a
42:50
good party, which I gotta go
42:52
for a minute. It's funny. You're right
42:53
because there were a couple,
42:55
like, famously intense comedy people
42:58
there where you're like, oh, I'm afraid
43:00
David Wayne isn't gonna like, I'm
43:02
gonna say the wrong thing. You know what I mean? There were those
43:04
people there where you're like, you felt like you needed to be on your best or
43:06
something. They
43:06
yeah. Where you're just, like, perceived power too.
43:08
Yes. Or they would be, like,
43:12
I can't help anyone here.
43:14
He doesn't want to help me.
43:16
They're like, no, he can't. He
43:18
he he doesn't want that
43:21
anything to the point. Right? There's, like, three
43:23
people that can help me. Yeah. I
43:25
don't know. Yes. They
43:28
know that. And
43:30
I want to thank you for
43:32
curbing my football joke. I mean,
43:34
I do it sometimes on the road. You should.
43:38
You should. if there's, you know, if there's a big game and I don't one
43:40
time I edit shows and that's a
43:42
big game, I don't. But there
43:44
was super weekend, and I
43:46
was in Madison. And and so every most
43:48
people there were it was, like, the Steelers
43:50
and the and the
43:52
Packers play in my called
43:55
my dad, and I was like, dad, I don't know or care
43:57
about football. Will you write me some jokes about
44:00
it? You know, then,
44:02
you know, Aflusberger or
44:04
whatever, guys. And he wrote
44:06
great dark jokes -- Did he? -- and I
44:08
couldn't follow them. I had to close with my
44:10
dad's joke. When I went saying, my wrote
44:12
these and so they, like, adjust it
44:14
for, like, dad jokes and then they were better.
44:16
They always are. You can't do
44:19
that. Yeah. Yeah. It's it's an old man's in the competition, and he's
44:21
just doing street jokes. The audience is the
44:23
is the funny thing I've ever seen. Yeah.
44:25
He's on the win. Yeah. You're
44:28
right. It is a polished old man doing filthy
44:30
jokes. Yeah. I had I had to
44:32
do that once at the oh,
44:34
so you'll know that see. Was
44:36
it the see. underground. Yeah. Remember
44:39
if you headline if you milled there,
44:41
you had to headline at a one nighter
44:43
in Boise Idaho that was in a
44:45
like a motel bar
44:47
incredibly far away from Seattle.
44:49
Yes. Are you are you
44:52
sure
44:52
it wasn't Billingham?
44:54
No.
44:54
It was, like, across it
44:56
in oh, might have might have been Moscow, Idaho. But it
44:58
was it was, like, you have
45:00
to drive over
45:01
a mountain pass. Yeah.
45:03
It was flat.
45:04
Okay. it. It was in Spokane.
45:06
I did this. And you
45:08
have to drive over the snow calmy pass.
45:10
It was there was definitely snow Yes.
45:12
No. because the first time when you're not
45:14
from there
45:15
because to them, it's
45:17
nothing. Yes. But if you're never if
45:19
you've never done remember
45:21
when I first moved up there, like, yeah, you just go
45:23
do this and you go do that. And I
45:25
crossed over the I pulled over when it
45:28
was snowing people look like me like I was
45:30
inside. And I was like, this is nuts, you
45:32
guys? Yeah. And they're like, no.
45:34
This is like, fine. And then,
45:36
you know, you lived there for, like, a year and I oh,
45:38
this is just how the world is. Yeah.
45:40
Out here. Did you see that huge
45:42
raccoon?
45:42
Two of them. They're just on
45:45
the stairs of there. Oh, I can't say look
45:47
at that amazing looking cat. The
45:49
cat with a really high back. Are we
45:51
following that cat? after two, I'm
45:53
right there. They're going up the alley. I just want to
45:55
get her out.
45:56
But so I had to do
45:59
that, and I was so glad to be headliner,
46:00
which I did not believe that I could do. Oh, there it is. It's hunched
46:02
over. I don't even pick up
46:04
the other thing. It's early. Well,
46:07
that it is a warning. Right. The
46:10
Saturn IS better posture. Like, yeah.
46:12
Well, we do too in the morning order. It's like,
46:14
goddamn it. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. They're I'm
46:16
still over. It's not a problem.
46:18
ain't so much garbage last night. Yeah.
46:21
What was that? So this guy
46:22
that was came to be
46:24
the opener was an
46:26
old guy who to only told Street jokes, and his was
46:28
that story about the shepherd
46:30
who it ends with,
46:32
hey, you get
46:34
off in the cloud. Oh, yeah. You know, it was like a terrible pun
46:37
-- Yeah. -- joke Lyric thing where
46:39
I and
46:39
then I had to
46:41
go up and and just talk about my
46:44
observations on life. And it was
46:46
so fun. You know?
46:47
Right. What do you do?
46:49
Yeah. God. These are my thoughts.
46:51
Jeez, sir. You
46:51
know, I just wanted to compare one thing to
46:53
another. No. Okay.
46:54
That's pretty clever thoughts. I thought.
46:56
Oh, yeah. But what what where are your
46:59
joke lyric parrot. He ruined
47:01
everything for me. There was a I
47:03
had a very
47:04
sick like, the first
47:08
when I first made it up there with my now ex wife.
47:10
And there's Oh, you marry that
47:11
was she like a she was a radio
47:14
person, bro. Yeah. Yeah.
47:16
Yeah. That's all we need
47:17
to send. That's all.
47:20
Yeah. Yeah. Everything's fine. Everything
47:22
is fine. Well, it's just simple
47:24
break up. People get married and not in
47:26
stocks. Yeah. You sign love after that.
47:28
Yeah. One And they came in, and things
47:30
are fine. We don't have to talk about anything ever.
47:32
At all, they are walking with a handsome
47:34
guy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Let's find I
47:36
know the I thought it would lead me to.
47:38
I'm not even mad. Let's
47:40
make a decision. Look at those laughs.
47:44
just need to know what I need to do. What's my
47:46
move here? That is a fun part in
47:48
your adult life when you're just like, listen.
47:52
Oh, okay. That's how you're gonna do it.
47:54
Just let me know. Just don't drag
47:56
it on. I need to do stuff. Yes.
47:59
For real all. It's a nice being old is nice. It is.
48:02
You don't care as much. I've been waiting
48:04
my hold the whole
48:06
time. The whole three year new year.
48:08
Yeah. I
48:10
really Billy half. Like, when I was honest about, like, I remember being
48:12
older, being like, when I was young, like,
48:14
in high school, being around some of my friends
48:16
just being
48:18
like, I don't wanna
48:20
do any of this.
48:24
They just wanna land a
48:26
hammock and wait for a car to pick me up. Yeah. And then we can
48:28
talk about honey stuff. Right?
48:30
I mean, we can race if
48:33
you want. Let's race. You can show
48:35
there's eyebrows off. But Yeah. don't care. So you
48:37
you did that whole time you were just kind of pretending
48:39
to be a kid. Some of
48:41
it
48:41
and then some of us is
48:44
drinking enough that I was like, yeah, this is
48:46
fun. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think and
48:48
then you realize, like, that's what
48:50
everyone else was doing. Right? Oh. Yeah. With the in
48:52
your town in Tennessee, but how big was it?
48:54
I don't know. It's ever growing just because
48:56
certain things there, but that was, like,
49:00
there's one high school in the whole county. So there's not much to
49:02
do.
49:02
It's when there's nothing to do, you just
49:04
drink in a field somewhere. Yeah. Yeah.
49:06
No. That's the first time I got drunk was
49:09
in a field. Yeah. Of course. Yeah. It's nice to be a feel.
49:11
I just did Brooks Whelan's Camping
49:14
Show. What's that? It's
49:15
what
49:16
I just said.
49:18
I mean, it's really fun. We
49:20
just went out to
49:21
the Kern River and there's this crew and
49:23
we went floating, man,
49:26
and him in Cornell. And and then
49:28
there's a show that
49:29
I found this dude. I don't know
49:30
what they're they found this for
49:34
a long time. Oh, wow. Oh, that's great. I saw some
49:36
footage of, like, the, you
49:38
know, off off camera hijinks while it was
49:40
on camera. Yeah. And
49:42
then there's it should be. He was
49:44
like, you could come help us at it. And I was
49:46
like, good because, like, you know, it's three
49:48
comics hanging out. So you're there
49:50
for a while. used her talking
49:52
shit. Yeah. So you're like, yeah, we need to
49:54
know what we say
49:56
it. Oh, we don't worry about that on
49:58
this. I know
49:59
I do.
50:01
How how was it with those
50:03
guys? III haven't I've
50:05
been invited on
50:08
m traps, and then it didn't work out. It was fun.
50:10
I bought a tent afterwards. That's how fun it won't
50:12
be. Yeah. I need a tent. You're into it. I just have
50:14
a tent for my bed, but I've been using
50:18
it. Do you have one? Yeah. I've I've I've
50:20
talked about this and showed pictures to
50:22
people that listen, but I've I've I just
50:24
had this wallpaper that looks like a
50:26
snowy mountain
50:28
and then from that, decided my whole bedroom had to
50:30
look like a cabin. And
50:32
so
50:32
it went from there
50:34
all the way to snowshoes on the wall, which
50:37
I swear and when you see you'll be like, okay, I get
50:39
it. I don't know. People have looked at the
50:41
pictures. They're like, okay, I get it.
50:43
That looks terrific. Modern yet
50:45
rustic. I was your baby again? No. That's the look I
50:47
did too. I was like, damn. She's fast.
50:50
She's fast when he's alone.
50:52
Oh my god.
50:54
She he or she? He.
50:56
I have a baby. Hey. A baby. He?
50:58
Baby here. Hey, baby. It's it
51:01
a baby or is it a walking person? Yeah.
51:03
Todd Lurch. He likes to stand up
51:06
a lot. Yeah. He's you know,
51:08
there's been a couple of falls
51:10
where,
51:10
you know, it's this is my second
51:12
one. So and this is
51:14
mom's
51:15
first one. So she came in,
51:17
you know what? She's like, he's a
51:19
halo guy. Like, yeah, man. They fucking
51:21
do this. Yeah.
51:24
I was like, they're it's that's why
51:26
they're and stuff's all malleable right now. I was like, it's all Like
51:28
like whoever designed it, they thought it through.
51:30
She's like, okay.
51:33
And then, like, we're you
51:35
know, there's, like, the knot goes away so fast
51:37
or whatever. Oh, that's good.
51:39
So you have the calm of,
51:41
like, an
51:41
experienced parent. Yeah.
51:43
Yes. That's nice. Yes. That's nice. It is
51:46
nice. Mhmm. I forget it's I'm
51:48
just it's probably annoying for
51:50
her sometimes.
51:52
Like, the fur Yeah. I talked about this.
51:54
The first time like, the first
51:56
night, we brought him back. There's
51:59
just this stuff that kicks ant that
52:02
you think
52:02
you've forgotten, but it's just this. You're like,
52:04
oh, yeah. This is how this works. It's it
52:06
was nice. I wasn't even It
52:09
was just everything that's kinda smooth, but she was, like,
52:11
he's, like, crying and
52:14
it
52:15
kept me on and she's just holding
52:17
them. When I'm laying a bed, I'm like, we'll do this stuff. Check the
52:20
things. But I wasn't saying it out loud. I was
52:22
just in my head. I was like, fucking do
52:24
this stuff. And
52:26
then they hit me. I was like, oh, this is she doesn't know. I was
52:28
like, oh, you had to check and see if this is this. This is
52:30
this. And she was like, oh, I just didn't know. I
52:32
was like, no. There's no fucking you
52:34
shouldn't, ma'am. Yeah. That's right. That's how I did it too. I will just
52:37
stood there like a idiot. Well,
52:39
you're tired and, you know,
52:41
it's it's your wife, so you're
52:43
just like, dude, what is wrong with you? You're
52:46
smart. We're on the gauntlet.
52:48
Check
52:48
the thing. Yeah. She just delivered
52:50
the vase be
52:52
the day before. It's funny. I'm like, I'm tired. I'm imagining
52:54
you being in a hammock this
52:57
whole time. That's not
52:59
far off. You're Thanks. Do the thing. I do get
53:01
comfortable quick. Yeah.
53:04
But I do like
53:05
being a like, it's the thing
53:07
too. It's like, oh, light. You know,
53:09
because the first one's scary so you
53:11
don't know. And then me
53:13
and his mother didn't get along. So
53:15
there's that too. too.
53:18
Yeah. That doesn't help
53:19
anything. Yeah. Well, and then but
53:22
you're like, oh, I do
53:24
love being a
53:24
dad. That part is like, I
53:27
do. You see other people and they're like, oh, I don't do
53:29
this, something like this, this, and this, oh, shit, I
53:32
love all this. Yeah. Yeah. I think I
53:34
would love all that stuff
53:36
too. I think. It's easy to just say. I'm like a
53:38
real armchair general. Well,
53:40
it's the same as me in a comic.
53:42
Like, when you start
53:44
doing it, you see that
53:45
you can tell the people who have, like,
53:47
the thing where, like,
53:50
like, my
53:52
good friend who we started together, we started traveling together,
53:54
doing their shitty gigs. I loved
53:56
every part. I was like, I love being on the road. I love
53:58
staying in a shitty hotel. He was like,
53:59
oh, I hate every part
54:01
of this. And, like, within, like, a year,
54:04
he was like, I'm done. This is and I was like,
54:06
this is the funnest thing I've
54:08
ever done. it. I was like, you're an
54:10
idiot. I'm like, probably.
54:12
Probably. Let's do it more. Let's
54:14
see here. They they made money. These
54:16
two were so dumb. How do you
54:18
feel about it now? Are because you're on the road a
54:20
lot these days. I've changed the
54:22
way I do it, which is
54:24
nice.
54:24
Kind of accepted You
54:26
know what Jesus Christ does your profile profile. but I I accepted that
54:29
that is always gonna be a little bit in there
54:31
and I have to fight it all
54:34
the time. But I
54:38
think
54:38
that for so long, the way if
54:40
you're raised in the
54:43
south there are certain parts of the mountain, part of the
54:45
south. You're not supposed to
54:48
brag. So that's that doesn't
54:50
suit
54:51
comedy abra. Right? No. Because like a lot
54:53
of promotion is just like, you know, hey,
54:56
me. Yeah. Of course. Yeah. And so
54:58
for a
55:00
long time like, I didn't feel like I was that
55:02
good yet to be, like, hey,
55:03
look at me. Mhmm. So
55:05
I
55:05
just got just kept getting. So
55:07
the last year or two,
55:09
I've been, like, oh, I'm you should come
55:11
watch me. And that's been like, oh, I'm
55:14
starting to make more money. We're like,
55:16
yeah, I should've kept telling
55:18
I should've told people earlier to come see
55:20
me. This this con this
55:22
confidence thing really helps. It does
55:24
pay off. Also, I was bragging about
55:26
out your when we were we were plugging that you were finally going
55:28
to be on the show on my favorite
55:31
murder, and I was explaining
55:32
meaning how good you are
55:35
making a a road
55:38
poster, like that one that you have where the
55:40
wolf is on the
55:42
bathroom counter.
55:42
yeah. That's from that.
55:44
Those are Cody and the Nashville
55:46
conventions
55:46
and It was so
55:48
like, you do those things where suddenly
55:50
I'm like, I know who you are and I know that you're just on the road and
55:52
I'm like, oh, I wanna go to that show. Hell
55:54
yeah. It doesn't work like
55:55
like I thought it would though. Like,
55:57
not not a lot of
55:59
people show up because of the art.
56:02
Well, they're fucking idiots. They but yeah.
56:04
But Aaron's the same way my wife is. She's
56:06
like, this is you
56:08
should charge this, and I was like, but
56:10
it's for me. Right.
56:12
So Sam the opposite. I only do it
56:14
for other people, like, draw posters or
56:16
illustrations for people. I never do it
56:18
for myself. I don't know why. You should. You're very good at it. That's part of the
56:20
fight with it. It's just saying you're raising them
56:22
next to a mountain too. There's like a
56:24
Like, can't talk about her
56:26
skills. I I was surrounded by
56:28
mountains, so it's even worse. Yeah. There was no way
56:30
out. Yeah. It was a glacial lake at one
56:33
point. It was in
56:35
about Valley. Don't tell people we can do anything.
56:37
Yeah. You're like, why I don't understand. We're
56:39
just gonna we're gonna live here forever. Stay
56:41
away from the Billy. That's for a
56:43
confidence blowout and then the wind. Well, it
56:46
was, like, there's, like, parts of near
56:48
where I grew up that I would always go back
56:50
to and try to accomedy and It
56:52
would go fine. And then
56:54
I realized, like, oh, well, the whole
56:56
area's theme song is
56:58
the Rocky Toplage is about.
57:00
people that can't grow because they
57:03
can't
57:03
grow crops because it's
57:05
just rocky
57:06
where the people are
57:08
right we're gonna do it. And then they did it. Yep.
57:10
So that's who I was trying to be
57:12
like, hey, thank you. Different.
57:16
And they're like, I don't like this guy, like you
57:18
guys. And they as you get older,
57:20
like, hey, they were right. I
57:24
was I
57:26
need to cool it. I had
57:28
their spirit, but it was like going
57:30
at them and they don't like that. No. No.
57:32
This this
57:33
has never happened on the pocket.
57:35
It's happened when I've
57:37
been one before and I do use a
57:39
bottle, but I really have to Billy
57:42
after me. Yeah. It's really kind of I don't
57:44
think the best. I
57:46
was gonna not say anything, but it's it's starting to become an
57:48
issue. Okay. And if it's up Bracken
57:50
Road, I'll do that. Oh, yeah. I like
57:52
that. Yeah. I know what the
57:54
that's dangerous. I mean,
57:56
I'm willing to do it. It's it's where
57:58
it's like gang dangerous. Oh,
58:01
really? Some parts. Is it gangrous?
58:04
right now
58:05
now I invite
58:07
the violence. You deserve
58:10
everything you get. Yeah.
58:12
Maybe I could find a restroom in in a in a gas station
58:14
or something. Right. I I could go
58:16
between cars. I'm very elusive.
58:19
You know is it bath okay. We're gonna turn
58:21
left anyway. Okay. But then I
58:24
like a public bathroom, I'm just thinking
58:27
There's a oh, there's a
58:29
library right over there. Do they do
58:32
typically, do they let you I can browse
58:34
through a book
58:36
and then you know, just do have just checking out the reference section. You
58:38
know, I have a lot of record. I don't.
58:40
Isn't that embarrassing? A little
58:42
bit. Yeah. Well, I check my
58:44
email at home. I'm assuming
58:46
that's just most of the people when I go to the
58:48
library, they're just checking their
58:50
email. What's that good
58:50
for kids and drinks and stuff like
58:54
that?
58:54
Yeah. again, once I have a kid, there's I'm gonna change everything I'll start
58:56
reading. When are you gonna have a
58:58
kid?
58:58
My kid knows. Oh, gosh. I any
59:01
day now, the way I I've
59:03
been living just kidding. I don't
59:06
know. I like being around
59:08
kids. I like being an uncle.
59:10
I'm and then when you're
59:12
around kids and then they think you're fun. You're
59:14
like, oh, okay. I guess I could do this, but it's
59:16
not all about being fun. No.
59:18
They get mad at you because you have to not be
59:20
their
59:20
friend. That's right. That's a
59:22
tough one. My son and I have to
59:24
go over out
59:26
again and again. This is the rackern
59:28
Road. I'm willing to go up there. Okay.
59:30
Or do you I mean This isn't
59:32
in a No. You don't need to go pay
59:35
up. This is people live. Oh, what if Billy,
59:37
you live nearby. Right? Yeah. Do you mind if you
59:39
Chris just uses your bow? Oh, yeah. That's that
59:42
works. I don't know. I didn't think of
59:44
it. Yeah. just don't know where -- Oh, yeah. -- it is from now. Yeah. What it's just
59:46
telling me where to go. I just turn around.
59:48
You know, the opposite way. That's the way we're going.
59:50
Okay. Yeah. Yeah. I'll be okay for Yeah.
59:54
Sorry. funny. I I don't know why that didn't. I
59:56
had to force your hand. Dude, hey, you
59:58
live here. I don't
59:59
know what the illusion we're
1:00:02
doing is. Yeah. My dad would
1:00:04
be really funny and use different
1:00:06
voices. And I I
1:00:08
remember specifically saying talk like your
1:00:10
own self, like it made me
1:00:12
furious that and now I
1:00:14
just don't do a lot of that either. Yeah.
1:00:16
I just became him,
1:00:18
basically. What's fun? News
1:00:19
have fun. My
1:00:22
son,
1:00:22
you can tell, like, his instinct.
1:00:24
They're in our instinct is to
1:00:26
be like, you're stupid.
1:00:27
Yeah. Figure that and then, like
1:00:29
I'll He's he's pretty fucking
1:00:32
cool. You can see you just see, like,
1:00:34
he's like, it just breaks through. You're
1:00:36
like, yeah,
1:00:38
man. that. Mhmm. I'm cool, and you even know that
1:00:40
you get older, but holy shit. Like, yeah.
1:00:42
And you're being a dick most of the time.
1:00:46
I could introduced you to some
1:00:48
cool people. But I didn't. You were
1:00:50
dead. I didn't know how you would
1:00:54
back. And then you just lay
1:00:56
out pictures of people that your child could
1:00:58
have met. I'm just like, look at it. Look at what I'm
1:01:00
hanging out with. But we were
1:01:02
in your room. Yeah. I told them I didn't have a son.
1:01:04
Yeah. I said, this is a weird room we have.
1:01:06
Yeah. And know what you did when they were
1:01:08
there? You you just filled
1:01:10
your diapers. you
1:01:12
think they thought that was cool? Was it cool? It was like,
1:01:14
dad was six months old. Is it fun?
1:01:16
No. No. No. The next one's That was
1:01:18
a good guess of so home
1:01:21
but familiar. Thank you. There's an
1:01:23
alley. Oh, yeah. This is Mike. This is a there's
1:01:25
an oh, wait.
1:01:28
This is cool.
1:01:31
Josh, we're recording again.
1:01:33
There's this
1:01:33
there's an alley down here. Yeah. And
1:01:35
one that I can ask because I heard
1:01:38
the
1:01:39
the helicopter it was lower than usual. And
1:01:42
I was like, hang on. What's going on?
1:01:44
And then you'll see right
1:01:46
through here. I saw like, yeah. He
1:01:49
was, like, spotlight not through this, and
1:01:51
I was, like, that's an alley. And there's,
1:01:53
like, Kia sold, like, the the
1:01:56
hamster
1:01:56
car. Yeah. Yes. Sure. I
1:01:59
can't love those commercials. Lying
1:02:01
through that out And then, like, six cop cars, like, chasing
1:02:03
it. I was like, that was coolest thing I've ever
1:02:06
seen. And then, like, the police hub
1:02:08
helicopter was chasing it. And I ran
1:02:10
in, like,
1:02:12
chunk in the goonies. And I was like, honey. Hi. There's
1:02:14
a cock. There we're chasing. He was
1:02:16
in the alley. And then,
1:02:18
like, the the barking rolling back
1:02:21
on this street, like, five minutes
1:02:23
later, I was like, this is just this
1:02:25
is a waterfall. Yeah. But then
1:02:27
the the here's this thing that
1:02:29
sucks is you never know ending. Yeah. Yeah.
1:02:32
Even
1:02:32
when it's on the news, it's
1:02:33
like, I'm not gonna watch this. It's been going
1:02:35
on an hour. It's probably not
1:02:37
an exciting
1:02:38
ending. Did you guys
1:02:40
see the one recently where the guy stole the the police
1:02:42
cruiser during in the middle of the high speed chase.
1:02:45
It's pretty rad. I mean, if
1:02:47
you're gonna do it,
1:02:48
i do it do a
1:02:49
big. You gotta go out. You see the
1:02:52
time I did that, I just drove it across the
1:02:54
street and parked it
1:02:56
and ran. But those fifteen seconds must have met him. wrong.
1:02:58
IIIII
1:03:00
was drunk and I was young. But I
1:03:02
mean, how
1:03:04
high were you when you were in that cop car?
1:03:06
It was exhilarating, but immediately,
1:03:08
the minute I got out, I
1:03:10
was riddled with fear that I'd be arrested
1:03:14
because I people saw me and one of them was a police cadet in
1:03:16
training to be a cop town. That's the
1:03:18
worst. because they had a Yeah.
1:03:20
No. He never told he never told
1:03:22
us. No.
1:03:24
I at it. I'm on Facebook years later. And I I say,
1:03:26
how have you been? He's like, oh, I'm a cop in
1:03:28
Seattle now in or Portland maybe.
1:03:30
And and then at
1:03:33
the end, he you stolen any cop cars
1:03:35
lately? It was just an unmarked. I simply
1:03:37
was put in this car and the keys were left
1:03:39
in it. These guys made a mistake. They both went back
1:03:41
in the bar
1:03:44
and I just
1:03:44
drove it across the street. It's
1:03:45
the most illegal thing I've ever done. It's pretty illegal.
1:03:47
It is pretty it's a big one. Yeah.
1:03:49
But, I mean, what you did
1:03:51
was more cute than the leakiest. It was
1:03:53
more of a and I could have taken the keys and
1:03:55
thrown them on a roof. I used to tell people I did,
1:03:58
but I just left them on the scene.
1:03:59
If you had been arrested
1:04:01
for driving a cop a marked cop car fifteen feet. It would
1:04:03
have been gone from cute, getting away
1:04:05
with it, too
1:04:06
deeply pathetic. Yes. You
1:04:08
actually spending time in jail for
1:04:10
that. Yeah. Twenty years old, riddled
1:04:12
with alcohol. Yeah. No. I told
1:04:14
you to get a DUI for that too. And
1:04:16
maybe I'd still be sitting here, but
1:04:18
we know. I have, but at least one tattoo on
1:04:21
my face. Immediately. Probably, but I
1:04:23
don't know if I get the remainder off. I
1:04:25
kinda like what people have a little bat
1:04:27
on their cheek. Oh. Do you like it? Yeah. Do you respect it?
1:04:29
I respect it. I make eye contact
1:04:31
the night shake hands more firmly. No.
1:04:34
It's not
1:04:35
just for how Halloween. They don't know.
1:04:37
These guys' tattoos
1:04:37
are year round. They are?
1:04:40
Yeah. Yeah. They're
1:04:42
serious. They're his business
1:04:44
code. name read
1:04:45
it. Billy, do you have anything you wanna
1:04:47
plug? We're coming near the end of
1:04:49
this just, like,
1:04:52
useless driver
1:04:52
your neighborhood. If you were gonna plug your
1:04:55
bathroom being nice, I'll pounce you
1:04:57
for that. Cool. I will tell
1:04:59
my wife. Yeah. Beautiful. because we've learned
1:05:01
that my idea of cleaning, her idea of cleaner to cover
1:05:03
him. And it what appears to be
1:05:05
brand new, squatty
1:05:08
potty. Oh, where you play your
1:05:10
feet up. Well, yeah, it's just in the
1:05:12
it's in the boys room so
1:05:14
that use
1:05:14
it. Like, if
1:05:16
you go an hour in it, that thing
1:05:18
she used. It's just covered, but I didn't tell you that
1:05:20
one. The children don't need it, establishment.
1:05:24
We I don't think the bathroom gets as
1:05:26
much work.
1:05:27
Sure. As the kids, they
1:05:30
don't spend as much time or need
1:05:32
to. Little kids, little
1:05:34
work. Yeah. I know
1:05:34
their bodies are smaller. They're not
1:05:37
as much maintenance. Are you do
1:05:39
you have a tour coming I
1:05:41
do. When when does this come out? Tomorrow?
1:05:43
Monday. Monday. Oh, cool.
1:05:44
Yeah. No. That
1:05:45
helps. Yeah. I'll be
1:05:48
in
1:05:49
Seattle. November first and
1:05:51
second on Capitol Hill at Club comedy.
1:05:54
I've never heard of that. It's great. It's a
1:05:56
little boutique comedy club that take
1:05:58
care everybody.
1:06:00
the it seems like eighty. It's
1:06:02
in next to this dope
1:06:03
Thai restaurant, and it's on Capitol Hill. So
1:06:05
it's like Cool. That's part of
1:06:07
it.
1:06:07
Yeah. This is cool up Nice.
1:06:12
Nice. So,
1:06:12
yeah, I'm doing like four
1:06:13
shows, so come out to that. Now, you
1:06:16
can get my dates at
1:06:18
BWD tour
1:06:20
dot com. Or just say Google,
1:06:22
Billy Davis, and all my stuff
1:06:25
nine comes up. Nice. You can do the
1:06:26
same for me. I'm going on tour. We'll be on tour
1:06:29
at the same time. Maybe we'll pass each
1:06:31
other. I hope so.
1:06:34
We're that's South Louisiana and Texas and
1:06:37
Oklahoma. Oh, those are
1:06:39
fun. Yeah. It's fun.
1:06:40
Right? Those are fun. They're fun. the
1:06:43
people are they have a good time in all those
1:06:46
places. I can't wait to go
1:06:47
to the real bourbon street and
1:06:49
see real cops on horseback, eat up
1:06:51
real drunk people. I you
1:06:53
never been to Burberry Street? No. I just compared
1:06:56
always to sixth Street even though I've never been
1:06:58
there. You never been to
1:07:00
Burberry. It's nothing like
1:07:02
sixth Street. Yeah. It's worse. Sure. Sure.
1:07:04
Of course. But the rest
1:07:06
I mean, there's just nothing
1:07:08
like that city. Yeah.
1:07:10
city's fucking awesome. Like, we
1:07:13
went to mobile first, Aaron and
1:07:15
I, and it's really Billy. we've
1:07:17
never been in New Orleans. So we're
1:07:19
like, man, mobiles like, well, the coolest places.
1:07:21
Why aren't there people there? And then the next
1:07:23
time we went to there, we went to New New
1:07:25
Orleans, which is, like, an hour and a half from there,
1:07:27
like, oh, because they did it
1:07:29
all good over here. Right. Right.
1:07:32
So it's like, no. They just
1:07:34
wanna go over there. Yeah. Why would you
1:07:36
and people, my bill, right, we get it.
1:07:38
But I heard I I've
1:07:40
only heard nightmares about Mardi Gras,
1:07:42
like, I know. I wouldn't go there. Yeah. A
1:07:44
friend of mine, she worked in a bard. She
1:07:46
said that the one that she's working. There's
1:07:48
just so many people. They were squashed against each other. Everyone's swinging back
1:07:51
and forth. She said off in the corner.
1:07:53
Two people were just openly
1:07:56
having sex when everyone find one left, there
1:07:58
was a stabbed person.
1:08:00
Really? Yeah. In the inside the
1:08:02
same bar.
1:08:04
Yeah. And just so fun place. Yeah. Passion.
1:08:06
Oh, yeah. That sounds like the yeah. Parts
1:08:08
of the mine, but we're like Yeah.
1:08:12
It's like There are still small pile of salt. Oh, yeah. That
1:08:14
starts stabbing. He's like, I just wanna do all
1:08:16
the stuff. Yeah. And
1:08:18
then the floor, what's covered
1:08:20
below. I
1:08:22
covered this guy's wife all good. A
1:08:24
big high heel shoe with her.
1:08:27
Man, I wish you and my
1:08:29
wife murder. That's a story
1:08:31
of Marty. It
1:08:36
is. this kind of.
1:08:38
I like those neighbors. They're chilling. They're old neighbor. No.
1:08:40
There's
1:08:40
old man.
1:08:43
It's just they're and I've learned a lot of Spanish
1:08:45
razors from him -- Really? -- from time a day. He's Billy pass him. You guys, thanks
1:08:47
for the ride.
1:08:50
It was really good. Of course. Thank you so much letting us
1:08:52
come back time and again
1:08:54
to cancel and then reschedule with
1:08:57
you overnight. Let's do it for
1:08:59
another year or two. Yes. It
1:09:01
would be great. Yeah. I'll be the Matt Damon. It's all I said that to
1:09:03
you, but George said that to Karen. Yeah. You
1:09:06
are the Matt Damon. You are the Matt
1:09:08
Damon this
1:09:11
podcast. take that. Our apologies. Stop until
1:09:13
now. You're the third. Joc
1:09:15
board math too. And
1:09:18
mopping. terrible at mopping. You're one man making
1:09:20
multi task. You've been listening to
1:09:23
do you need a ride?
1:09:25
DYN They are.
1:09:28
I live
1:09:29
in all your life.
1:09:31
Way
1:09:32
back. Either way,
1:09:34
we wanna be there. Doesn't
1:09:37
matter how much
1:09:38
baggage you're gonna give
1:09:40
us time and
1:09:49
Tell
1:09:52
us all about it. Were
1:09:54
you scared or was it fine?
1:09:59
Now, foreign.
1:10:07
Do you
1:10:16
need ride? Do
1:10:18
you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?
1:10:21
Do you need
1:10:24
to ride?
1:10:32
with
1:10:35
Karen and
1:10:39
Chris.
1:10:40
Listen
1:10:42
follow, leave us a review on
1:10:44
Amazon Music, Apple Podcasts, or
1:10:46
wherever you get your podcasts. And
1:10:48
don't forget you
1:10:49
can listen to new sodes one week
1:10:51
early on Amazon Music or early in ad
1:10:53
free by subscribing to wonder plus in
1:10:55
the wonder app. You
1:10:57
can support Do You Need a
1:10:59
Ride by filling out a survey at one read dot com slash survey.
Podchaser is the ultimate destination for podcast data, search, and discovery. Learn More