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0:30

Dana's and Becky's. Hardly

0:32

a moment in my life goes by

0:35

where I don't get asked about the show's

0:37

closing theme song,

0:39

Listen to Your Heart, by

0:41

the phenomenal Edie

0:44

Burkell. Where can I find it?

0:46

Why can't I find it? I need a copy

0:49

of it, please. I have looked everywhere.

0:52

Please release it to the public. I

0:54

love it so much. Over and over.

0:58

Unfortunately, this has not

1:00

been possible

1:01

until now. Go

1:04

to DontAskTig.org

1:06

and click on the Announcements tab to

1:09

stream the complete recording

1:12

of the song

1:13

with courtesy from Edie

1:15

Burkell herself.

1:18

Enjoy. And now you

1:20

can stop asking. Also, a reminder

1:23

that I'm still on the road.

1:25

I'll be in Jacksonville, Oregon,

1:27

July 21st.

1:29

Eugene, Oregon, July 22nd. Colorado

1:33

Springs, September 25th.

1:36

Breckenridge, Colorado, September

1:38

28th. Boulder,

1:40

Colorado, September 29th.

1:42

And Brooklyn, New York,

1:45

November 4th at King's Theatre.

1:48

There's two shows. I believe the first one

1:50

is sold out. I apologize

1:52

again for having to move my

1:54

taping from June to November.

1:57

But because of the W... I

2:02

had to move it to November. So

2:05

go to TigNotaro.com for all

2:07

show links and ticket information.

2:09

Now let's start the show.

2:13

Can we get a little taste of what a chicken sounds

2:15

like? Oh God, why am I walking

2:18

myself right into this? I

2:20

don't know, God, so long ago. Oh

2:22

God, oh God, oh God. Oh yeah. She's

2:25

Tig's like, I'll give him a little turkey gobble,

2:27

now get him going. Come on, come on. Yeah.

2:33

You're hired, we will

2:35

see you at 30 Rock, son. Yeah,

2:38

God.

2:39

God. ["We Are

2:42

Not Alone"] Yeah,

3:00

yeah, yeah. This is Don't

3:02

Ask Tig. I'm Tig Notaro and

3:05

the jury is still out on my

3:07

advice. My next guest

3:09

is an actor who stars in films, including

3:12

the X-Men trilogy, Sonic

3:14

the Hedgehog and The Notebook, as

3:16

well as the hit new comedy show,

3:18

Jury Duty. The Emmy

3:21

nominated series, Dead to Me, which earned

3:23

him a Critics Choice Award nomination

3:26

and the film Walk of Shame

3:28

with yours truly.

3:30

James Marsden, welcome to

3:33

Don't Ask Tig.

3:33

Hello Tig, how are you?

3:36

I am doing well. Way to finish those

3:38

credits with the most important one. I

3:40

appreciate that. Of course, well,

3:43

I mean, I think that's where you got your big

3:46

boost in your career was working in

3:48

a film with me.

3:49

That was when I went stratospheric.

3:51

Yeah, well we did. When we did. Yes,

3:54

I was just sort of idling,

3:57

idling along until Walk

3:59

of Shame and then.

5:59

James, you have to do some...

6:02

Oh, well, no, they weren't great.

6:05

Well, this is a show called Don't Ask

6:07

Two. They were great by Oklahoma standards. This is, you

6:09

know, low stakes. You gotta give me a... Let's hear

6:12

a little something for your SNL audition.

6:14

Oh, God. What would I have

6:16

done? I think I was just emulating

6:18

everyone I was seeing at the time. It was like

6:21

I was just doing Dana Carvey bits. I was

6:23

doing, you know, The Church Lady and I was doing

6:26

George Dubya and all that. Basically,

6:28

I wasn't doing my own stuff. I was just ripping

6:31

them off. What would I have

6:33

done? I don't know if I...

6:35

Let's hear some George Dubya. Come on.

6:38

Well,

6:40

no, it wasn't George Dubya. It was at George Senior.

6:44

It was when he was doing the... Wouldn't be

6:46

pruding at this juncture. Yeah, the whole

6:48

thing.

6:49

So you were a big Dana Carvey

6:51

fan. Yeah, I was doing him and chopping

6:53

broccoli and all that. Yeah,

6:56

I think that was my kind of time period

6:58

for SNL. It was like him and Chris

7:01

Farley and Adam Sandler.

7:02

Did you ever try to audition? I

7:05

do have a vague memory of

7:08

in Oklahoma, me and my buddy,

7:11

that we used to do like kind of comedy bits

7:13

together for drama class. We

7:16

heard that Saturday Night Live were like doing

7:18

a tour of the United States looking

7:20

for people and they were stopped in Oklahoma City and they

7:22

would like show up and come and

7:24

audition. So I remember doing that. This

7:26

is either a dream and it didn't really happen

7:29

or it really happened. And

7:32

I think, what did we do? I

7:34

think they just said, just show us anything.

7:37

And

7:38

I think

7:40

we literally just pretended we were chickens.

7:43

We just sat around, we just clocked like chickens

7:46

that were discovering one another and sort of like

7:49

this weird mating ritual. And

7:50

they didn't hire you? Shockingly

7:53

no. They did not. I

7:55

don't know why. You're like, fine. I'll just

7:58

join the X-Men trilogy. I'll

8:00

just go off and do that. Right,

8:02

right. Vills recognized my real

8:04

talent with this chicken bit that I'm doing. I

8:07

don't know why we did that. It was

8:09

like, wow, we really picked the wrong thing

8:11

to lead with.

8:12

Speaking of the junior

8:15

and senior Bushes, you have a place in

8:17

Texas? I have a place in Texas. I lived in Texas

8:19

many years. You did? Where? Outside

8:22

of Houston. I lived in Austin. I lived

8:24

outside of Dallas.

8:25

You have family there? What was the draw? I

8:27

have family. Okay. I grew

8:29

up part of the time in Texas. Yeah. But

8:32

we still go back. The reason

8:35

I took a liking to Austin specifically

8:38

was because it did...

8:39

I had a lot of friends that lived there and they were

8:41

always encouraging me to come visit. So I was.

8:44

For the last 20 years, I'd go get out on a lake

8:46

in Lake Austin. And it was just like, wow, this

8:48

reminded me of the good parts of growing

8:51

up in Oklahoma, but much prettier. I

8:53

mean, Oklahoma is beautiful. It can be beautiful. But

8:55

Austin in Texas Hill Country was just really,

8:58

really special. And it's a two hour flight

9:00

from LA. And so I've been visiting for 20

9:02

years and just playing with the idea

9:04

that can you live somewhere else outside of LA

9:06

and still work in this business? And the answer

9:09

is yes,

9:09

because we're always... I don't know. We have

9:11

a tendency to lead nomadic lifestyles

9:14

anyway. Was it hard to actually

9:16

put roots down there? Did you feel like, oh,

9:18

I live here? Or did you feel like, oh, I'm

9:21

away from home in this other

9:23

home?

9:23

The latter. It's,

9:26

you know, I'm there plenty of the year. But

9:28

when I'm there, you're right.

9:30

It was like, what's my life here? Because

9:33

I've lived in LA for 30 years now. You

9:35

can't intertube all day in Austin.

9:37

No. And it's a very leisurely

9:39

city. It's very like cold beer,

9:42

barbecue. Oh, I know it,

9:44

sir. Get some country music going, get out

9:46

on the boat and, you know.

9:48

You like country music? I do. I

9:50

grew up with country music. I was in a country band for

9:52

a little bit. Me too. I

9:55

play guitar and I sing. Wow.

9:58

Yeah. a

10:00

country band going, do you like new country,

10:02

old country? You like it both? I'm like prime

10:05

country on Exim satellite. Oh yeah.

10:07

That's like 90s country like Tim

10:09

McGraw. Sure, George Strait. George Strait,

10:12

Garth Brooks. Garth Brooks. Grew up with Garth

10:14

Brooks. Both of us went to Oklahoma State

10:16

and Stillwater. Yeah. In fact, my band

10:18

in high school and into college, all we did

10:20

is Garth Brooks covers. Love

10:22

me some Garth. Garth's

10:24

great. Yeah. My ex-wife,

10:27

who I'm still very, very close with, she's like my

10:29

bestie, her father wrote Colin

10:32

Baton Rouge, that Garth Brooks song.

10:33

That is my favorite

10:36

Garth Brooks song. Are you kidding, really? I

10:38

love that song so much. I'm going

10:41

to send you his demo

10:43

that he played for Garth. It's

10:46

so different than how the song turned out because a lot

10:48

of times, his name's Dennis Lindy. He also wrote

10:50

Goodbye Earl for the Dixie Chicks.

10:52

Oh my gosh. He

10:53

was a legend. He's not with us anymore, but

10:55

he was an incredible songwriter. But he was

10:58

like this character. He took on

11:00

these characters when he wrote these songs and sometimes

11:02

intimidate the artists. A lot of his

11:04

songs weren't sing-songy ballads. They were

11:06

like Warren Zevon and Randy

11:08

Newman structures and stuff. Anyway,

11:11

the demo of that is so

11:13

lo-fi and simple, and he's playing a kazoo

11:16

on it at some point. You'll love it. But now

11:18

you go to an LSU game, the

11:20

entire stadium is singing Colin Baton Rouge.

11:23

And

11:23

it's pretty cool to see. I had no idea.

11:26

I have family out in Louisiana,

11:28

Mississippi, all that. But

11:30

yeah, that's my

11:32

hands-down favorite Garth Broke

11:34

song. I love it so much. Love

11:37

that

11:37

tune. But yes, country music's always been something

11:39

I've been a fan of. Did you grow up? Did you? Forgive

11:41

me. I should know this, but did you grow up in Texas? Mississippi, Texas.

11:44

Yeah. Hard to avoid the country music

11:47

influence coming from those parts. It is very

11:49

hard. It's all over there. You either grew up hating

11:51

it, or you grew up embracing

11:53

it to some degree. Or you grew up hating

11:56

it, and then you get older and you go, oh, this sounds

11:58

good again. It's kind of good. Yeah, you can. You go out

12:00

on a boat, have a drink in the sunshine.

12:03

Put in on some Clint Black and some

12:05

good skill. Yes, sir.

12:08

Oh, man. Yeah, I do enjoy all

12:10

that. Yeah, so I'll get the guitar

12:12

out occasionally when I'm in Austin and we'll

12:14

have little sing-alongs here and there. Oh,

12:16

I really can't wait for our band. Now,

12:19

James, let's talk about

12:21

your latest project, Jury Duty. Yes.

12:24

It's gotten a lot of buzz. For

12:26

my listeners who have not seen it, would you

12:28

explain what it's about?

12:30

Sure. So, it's a TV

12:32

show. It's

12:33

as if you took

12:35

The Office and The

12:37

Truman Show and sort of fused

12:39

them together with

12:41

a backdrop of Jury Duty. So

12:43

you have essentially

12:45

a whole cast of actors,

12:48

improv artists, myself, who's

12:50

I'm playing myself, and I sort of heightened

12:53

entitled hop. Did you do any chicken noises?

12:56

No, no, no. They didn't ask

12:58

for it. I offered it up, but they were saying, we

13:00

don't need it. We're good. They're

13:02

lost? Yep, they're lost. And one

13:04

guy

13:05

that thinks the whole thing is real,

13:07

and it's all fake. So

13:09

you're thinking at this point, if you haven't seen the show, is this

13:12

a prank show? Are they just fooling

13:14

him for a couple of weeks of his life? And

13:16

I wasn't interested in doing it if it was

13:18

going to be anything mean-spirited or cruel, because

13:20

three weeks is a long time to keep somebody

13:23

in the dark. One person in the

13:25

dark and the rest of us are following

13:27

these scripts. So there were scripts, but there was no scripted

13:29

dialogue. It was like comedy

13:31

beats. Mars then stands up and

13:34

tries to get out of Jury Duty by saying he's a distraction.

13:38

Todd walks in wearing chair pants, stuff

13:40

like that, and then we get to kind of play with it on top of

13:43

it. So that's basically it. They've

13:45

said, we're not doing a prank show. We

13:47

want to see if we can create a hero's journey

13:50

for somebody. So the idea was we're

13:52

going to surround this guy who doesn't know

13:54

the whole thing is fake with absurd

13:57

scripted circumstances and

13:59

see how...

15:54

from

16:00

him, like disappointment. He

16:02

was so empathic,

16:04

like if we were embarrassing somebody because

16:07

it was scripted, he felt bad

16:09

for that person. So it was like, you

16:11

didn't want him to feel bad for

16:13

this person. But that was the hardest thing

16:15

was like, I really struggled with that every

16:17

day. Like, boy, what is, what are we doing to this

16:19

guy? You know, this is his reality. He's getting

16:22

to be friends with us. We're getting to be friends

16:24

with him and like

16:27

really caring about each other and having genuine laughs

16:29

and yeah, orging these real relationships.

16:32

And he thinks, I mean, I was named James, but

16:34

everyone else had a fake

16:34

name. And then at the end of it, he's like, wait, so you're

16:36

not really Ron, you're not really

16:39

genie. So

16:42

it just was kind of like you just had to cross your fingers

16:44

and hope that our endeavor

16:46

to

16:47

create this hero's path for somebody

16:50

that he'll end up feeling it.

16:51

And that he will have

16:53

enjoyed the experience. Right, right.

16:55

That was the hardest part.

16:57

And actually, as you go

16:59

on, the Jenga tower gets taller.

17:02

As you get closer to the end,

17:04

the stakes are much greater because if

17:06

we screw it up now, right, then Amazon

17:09

has two and a half weeks of footage that they can't use. So

17:12

it's kind of wild. Wow. Yeah.

17:14

Any advice you would give your younger

17:17

self just starting out as an actor, as

17:19

we almost transition into our

17:22

advice questions? Right. Yeah.

17:25

Boy, don't force anything.

17:27

A good performance is never going to come

17:30

from

17:30

really muscling your way through

17:33

it. Have fun.

17:35

Have a great time. When I look back on the things that worked,

17:38

it was because I was just having a blast. And that's jury

17:41

duty is a perfect prime example of that.

17:43

I was having so much fun.

17:44

Are you good at giving advice?

17:48

Depends on the topic. But yeah,

17:51

I typically, I feel like I'm a pretty good

17:53

friend that way, but I would never try

17:55

to do something, give somebody advice where

17:58

I'm out of my jurisdiction. I would not.

17:59

Okay. Well,

18:02

you play a juror who is less

18:04

than perfect. Maybe you

18:07

can still help. Well,

18:11

are you saying the jury's still out on that? Jury's

18:14

still out. Maybe you can help with

18:16

the first listener. Okay. C.C.

18:19

writes, I have lived in my apartment

18:22

in Manhattan for four

18:24

years. In the past six months, I've

18:26

received three postal letters for

18:29

the former tenant for jury summons,

18:32

all with an urgent notification.

18:34

I haven't opened the letters and left them

18:36

in my mailbox. Should I try to contact

18:39

the person this was originally addressed

18:42

to?

18:42

Should I contact the local government?

18:44

What is my civic duty here?

18:47

You get a lot of government officials listening

18:49

to your show. That's the only, my podcast,

18:52

my standup, everything. It's all government

18:55

officials. Okay. Well, yes, you contact

18:57

that gentleman or wonderful woman and you

18:59

let them know. I was going to say, pitch

19:02

him because he's probably just going to pitch him anyway. Well,

19:05

yeah, I was also going to say, just do the very

19:07

lazy thing of return to sender.

19:10

I mean, you know, you can just write that on

19:12

an envelope and drop it in the mail and you've-

19:15

How old is this person? I don't

19:17

know that- They don't disclose their age because if they're

19:19

under 30, they don't even know what

19:21

drop it in the mail means. You

19:24

said it'd be lazy, but that actually

19:26

sounds like to a Gen-Zer, like

19:28

a lot of work. But I

19:30

think it's the right thing to do. Yeah.

19:32

Locate a pen. What's a pen? Write

19:37

on the envelope where it's addressed

19:39

to the old tenant

19:42

and write off to the side, return

19:44

to sender, underline it. If you don't

19:46

know where to do it, Google where to write

19:48

return to sender and then Google

19:51

what a mailbox looks like and

19:53

then walk

19:55

out of your house and

19:58

drop that into the mailbox. box. She's

20:00

in New York, right? Yeah. Well, there's pigeons

20:03

there too. You could attach it to a carrier pigeon.

20:05

Well, there you go. James and I. We're going

20:07

way back

20:10

in time. Back in the days

20:12

of classic country. Yeah. So that's

20:14

how you do it. I've never done the return to sender thing. You

20:16

just write on the envelope, return to sender, and then

20:19

drop it in one of those blue mailboxes that

20:21

are on the side of the street.

20:22

Or even in your own mailbox. Right.

20:24

Okay. And then they return it. Yeah.

20:27

And then if they don't, at least your conscience is

20:29

free. Oh, and you can also write

20:31

on there, no longer at this address.

20:34

Can I write that on all the junk mail that I get

20:36

in my mailbox? You can write it on

20:39

a wall. You can write

20:41

anything you want anywhere. You might get

20:43

in some trouble, but yeah, you

20:45

can write it on a wall. I'm going to spray paint

20:47

it on a wall, return to sender.

20:50

That's a good plan. Cece,

20:52

James and I

20:54

find you guilty of not forwarding mail.

20:56

You are sentenced to listen

20:59

to the rest of this episode, which

21:01

will return right after

21:03

this break. James, don't go anywhere.

21:07

Hey listeners, Don't

21:10

Ask Tig is sponsored by BetterHelp.

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25:34

That

26:01

is an interesting one. I mean, but also what

26:03

do the polycules expect? I

26:06

think they want it all. They got it all. I

26:09

guess the bride and groom are not polyamorous,

26:11

otherwise they would be marrying a host of people. Right?

26:13

It would be. But they have lots

26:15

of polyamorous friends.

26:17

Seems like we need to figure out what

26:19

this is before we can even guide anybody.

26:22

I agree. I feel ill-equipped

26:24

to answer this. I feel like because

26:26

I'm in the LGBTQ world

26:29

that I should know all this, but

26:31

I don't. Even though it's not

26:34

necessarily bi or gay

26:36

or trans. It's not specific to LGBTQ, right.

26:39

If anything's gender or sexuality,

26:42

usually it's like, come on into our

26:44

group. Maybe it just

26:46

depends on the bride and groom's intentions.

26:49

Maybe if they're wanting to open up their

26:51

mind to exploring polyamory

26:54

on the day that they give their vows. Maybe

26:57

they do allow a couple extra guests,

26:59

but I don't want to be presumptuous to say that

27:01

that's what they're exploring. I don't think they are.

27:04

Yeah, I think if just by the books, just

27:06

you get a plus one. That's it. You get a

27:08

plus one. All right. You get a plus one.

27:10

That's an easy one.

27:11

Eardra weddings are tricky,

27:14

but congratulations to you and your fiance.

27:17

And keep us updated if you add a plus

27:19

one to your marriage. James, this next

27:22

question was sent in by a listener

27:24

named Fiona.

27:26

Fiona writes, how do I handle

27:28

my 13 year old daughter's tantrums?

27:31

She's going through a lot of changes and

27:33

finding life a bit confusing, but

27:36

the tantrums are hard to cope with.

27:38

She didn't have them at two years old, and

27:41

I think this is harder. Help.

27:43

I only

27:45

have two nearly seven year

27:48

old boys. And

27:52

it's one of those things where I think of, is

27:55

that down the road of having

27:57

tantrums? Maybe, maybe not. Maybe,

28:00

maybe not. I mean, I have two

28:03

boys and a girl and my oldest

28:05

boy is 22. My girl is 17. You

28:08

know, there's a lot

28:09

going on there for boys and girls, but I

28:11

say specifically girls, and this is, you

28:14

know, through my ex-wife kind

28:16

of teaching me about it, changing their bodies

28:18

and hormones

28:19

and... Also the time of what's going

28:21

on now in the world. In the world and

28:23

your self-worth is you feel

28:26

like it's measured

28:27

off of social media and I just, I'm like,

28:29

God, I just hate that for young girls.

28:32

It's a bit, I don't know what the tantrum is about. I do

28:35

know that

28:36

these storms come by and

28:39

the storms pass. It's

28:41

usually all good at the end of it and

28:44

finding a balance of,

28:46

let's talk about your feelings while they're

28:48

screaming and throwing **** across the room. Right.

28:52

But also you can't be screaming

28:54

and throwing things and hitting people and like,

28:56

no, you can't do that. So I guess it's

28:58

just a tricky thing. It depends on the personality of the kid

29:01

and allowing them to

29:03

have these tantrums. Or if you're going

29:05

to have the tantrum, go have it in private.

29:07

Well, you know, it's funny because I was imagining

29:11

what would my instinct

29:13

be just based on not having

29:16

this experience yet. Our big

29:19

punishment in our house is, all

29:22

right, you're going to have to go sit by the front

29:24

door and they are

29:26

terrified of that. And

29:29

they want to avoid sitting by

29:31

the front door at all costs. But

29:33

when I think about what if it escalated,

29:36

I just wonder if, and

29:38

I hear what you're saying, you don't want to get to

29:41

like, I feel this and I

29:43

think this when somebody's losing

29:45

their mind. But my instinct

29:48

would be, do

29:49

you have nature around

29:51

you? It might be really

29:53

nice and calming and this might be

29:56

some hippie side of me, but to

29:59

go sit by.

29:59

an ocean to go take

30:02

a walk in the woods.

30:03

Oh, you're right. Or go if

30:05

there's a big piece of land or

30:07

pasture to lie down in and

30:09

just look at the sky and talk to your

30:12

child. And I'm not saying

30:14

it like it's as easy as that. This is

30:16

totally coming from somebody that

30:18

has seven year old boys

30:21

that are scared to sit by the front door. That

30:23

would be my instinct is to try

30:26

and go talk to them in wide

30:29

open nature,

30:29

try and connect there. I

30:32

agree with that. I also think it's important

30:34

to see if they want to

30:37

speak to a therapist, somebody that isn't

30:40

directly related to the family.

30:42

Great advice, great advice. See

30:44

if the therapist would come to the beach with you and

30:47

lie down and look at the sky. That's

30:49

really smart. Because sometimes it's just like

30:51

getting them out of that space and like, go

30:54

move the legs, move the furniture around, go walk.

30:56

Well, and to see that the world

30:59

is bigger than what's

31:01

going on right under your nose.

31:04

And that's

31:05

looking at a sky so huge

31:08

or an ocean so huge or a forest

31:10

so deep in the woods.

31:13

And so-

31:14

It's a reminder that your problems aren't as

31:16

big as maybe they feel. Yeah.

31:19

And I've truly gone and

31:22

would lie down in a field and

31:25

stare up at the sky. I

31:27

remember once when I was heartbroken. I mean, that

31:29

is what I did to just kind of take in

31:33

and deal with my emotions. They

31:35

say to get in touch with the earth too. Like

31:37

where you're actually laying on the grass

31:40

where you're feeling the earth underneath

31:42

you actually does something physiologically

31:44

to you and emotionally to. I think

31:46

the other thing too is,

31:48

and this is a tricky one because it depends on

31:50

what the tantrums like and what they're gonna

31:52

fit about. But give yourself permission

31:54

to not have to fix

31:56

it. Yeah. Sometimes it's just

31:59

like let her get it.

31:59

it all out. Yeah. I feel like as parents, we always

32:02

feel like we have to create a solution or

32:04

provide a solution. And sometimes

32:06

it's just like, let this just run its course and

32:09

be a quiet, supportive presence next

32:11

to her. And she'll remember that.

32:13

Fiona, James and I are both parents.

32:16

So that was some expert

32:18

advice, I would say. Thanks

32:20

for writing in and all of the best to

32:22

you and your daughter. James, before

32:25

I ask this last question, do

32:27

you smoke weed?

32:28

I promise it's relevant.

32:30

I don't. I've never

32:32

been much of a weed smoker, but what I have discovered

32:34

recently is a specific

32:37

strain of sativa

32:40

or whatever it is that actually helps me sleep

32:42

in the form of like a gummy.

32:44

I don't take any of it to like take

32:46

my brain to the places where I can

32:49

write more interesting stuff or

32:51

have more laughs in a conversation. The

32:53

application for me is always to chill me out,

32:56

turn the brain off and go to sleep. It's

32:59

been great to not have to take anything else.

33:02

Yeah. So Sarah in

33:04

DC writes,

33:05

Hello, Tig and guest. I am an almost 50

33:09

happily married lesbian mother of two.

33:12

I work part time as a pediatrician

33:14

and have a great village of friends. I

33:16

consider myself medium fun.

33:19

I have so far never

33:21

tried marijuana and I'm ready to

33:23

do so. It is legal where

33:26

I live.

33:27

Could you suggest a perfect scenario

33:29

for my first maybe only experience?

33:32

I will do whatever you suggest.

33:34

Wait, careful there.

33:36

She will do whatever

33:38

you suggest. Okay. This person

33:40

feels like my speed. Medium

33:43

fun. Yeah. Well, just like, okay,

33:46

I don't do drugs. I'm

33:48

ready to try it. The robot

33:51

is ready to let loose. Tell

33:53

me

33:53

you're ready. It doesn't sound

33:55

like it. Sounds like you're already

33:58

giving yourself

33:59

You're probably walking into paranoia land. I

34:02

get that feeling though, because I guess

34:04

she's like, I need to maybe loosen up a little bit

34:07

and got a village of friends. That's great.

34:10

I wonder if they all smoke.

34:11

Or even, you know, I'm not

34:14

a pot smoker, but my wife

34:16

Stephanie and I went to Amsterdam

34:19

and we wanted to have the typical go

34:21

to Amsterdam and buy weed

34:24

and get high. Sure. And

34:28

we, neither

34:30

of us are pot smokers. And we,

34:33

we

34:33

got our drugs. We went to

34:35

our hotel room, we smoked

34:38

it. And we turned into cartoon

34:41

versions of high people. We

34:43

were in so much pain laughing. We were

34:46

crying so hard, we could barely

34:48

breathe. And it was the most

34:51

fun. And then we went back to

34:53

Amsterdam a year later, we bought

34:55

pot again, and we tried to recreate

34:57

the moment, but we didn't know what strain

35:00

we had purchased the first time. And the

35:02

second one, we just were

35:04

sitting out next to one of the canals.

35:08

And we just turned to each other and

35:10

said, I don't want to do this ever again.

35:13

It was such a different

35:14

experience from

35:16

the first time. Like truly gasping

35:19

for air. I mean, it was

35:22

so fun. So I guess my suggestion

35:25

would be if your spouse is

35:28

interested or one of your medium

35:31

fun friends in your, in your

35:34

village, I would say do

35:36

it with somebody that

35:38

is your silliest friend that's

35:40

open to doing it. And Stephanie

35:43

and I laugh very hard without

35:45

any pot on a daily basis.

35:47

We destroy each other. Find

35:50

the person that will destroy

35:53

you and have a grand

35:56

old time. That's what I suggest.

35:58

Great advice. Yes. I would.

35:59

say, if you're the medium fun person

36:02

in your group, I would find a

36:03

friend in your village that is the

36:06

most giggly, the most easy to

36:08

laugh, just positive, have a great time.

36:11

It's so important though, like

36:12

the sort of tone that you

36:15

carry with you when you step into that world, right?

36:17

Like you want someone with positivity

36:19

and like perpetually grinning to

36:22

do that with and maybe you, you know,

36:24

that maybe there's an old movie from the 80s

36:26

or 90s or whatever that you guys share

36:28

that you always thought was funny. Maybe put

36:30

that on too. Yeah.

36:31

Go rent a hotel room or something

36:33

and just watch a stupid movie.

36:36

Get into costume, put costumes

36:38

on and then take it. Buy some junk food.

36:40

Yeah. Yeah. Give us the Twinkies and

36:42

Doritos. Go have the dumbest

36:45

time you could possibly

36:48

have. Yeah. Without any expectation.

36:50

Don't put expectations on it. Like I'm supposed

36:53

to be laughing or I'm supposed to be listening

36:55

to this music or I'm supposed to be just,

36:58

nothing matters. It's a free day.

37:00

Even if you don't laugh that hard,

37:02

you'll at least laugh at how you

37:04

didn't get that high and you're

37:07

sitting in a hotel room with Twinkies

37:09

and a bad movie on and that'll make

37:11

you laugh probably.

37:12

Yeah, it'll make you laugh and go easy.

37:14

Maybe kind of baby steps into the dosage.

37:16

I remember the first time I smoked, I was 21 or

37:19

something and the person that introduced

37:22

me to it

37:23

was my future wife, which was my

37:25

wife at the time. She was actually

37:27

pretty good at it. She was like, okay, we're going to have

37:29

a joint and I hear you smoke this.

37:31

I'm going to go to the bathroom and when I come

37:33

back, we're going to have some fun. And

37:36

she went to the bathroom and I took 10 hits

37:38

off of this joint thinking that you smoke it

37:40

like a cigarette and I was

37:43

out of my mind. Yeah. So maybe

37:45

take the baby steps of dosage.

37:47

Yeah. I can't wait to hear how that turns

37:49

out. Sarah, I'm

37:51

not sure why you asked me, but that's why

37:54

the show is called Don't Ask Tig. Happy 420.

37:57

James, you played an actor.

38:00

superhero cyclops

38:03

in the X-Men movies. So

38:05

the last segment I've selected,

38:07

especially for you, is one I call

38:10

Don't Ask Your Heroes.

38:17

Everyone always says,

38:20

don't meet your heroes, but what about

38:22

asking your heroes for advice?

38:25

Don't Ask Your Heroes is the part of the show

38:27

where we imagine what your hero

38:30

might have to say about a particular

38:32

question that's on your mind. So

38:35

James,

38:35

you might have more than one, but

38:38

if you had to name just one

38:40

person, who would you say is your hero?

38:43

I

38:45

mean, I have a lot of different kinds of

38:48

heroes, but I'm saying like my

38:51

ex-wife taught me a lot about

38:53

how to be a good person in this world

38:56

and how to be a good father and

38:59

how to participate in a life in a really

39:01

great

39:02

way. And sometimes it can be in a very simple

39:04

way. So she's been great

39:06

for me and I owe a lot

39:08

of what I've learned in life to her. That's

39:11

nice. Yeah, yeah. We started

39:13

really young and like

39:15

I said, we're still very, very close, but are there

39:18

heroes? Well, there's like industry heroes,

39:21

like people that you looked up to as far as their

39:23

work and things like that. Thank

39:25

you. I always loved Paul Newman. He

39:27

seemed like a guy who

39:29

could do drama really brilliantly,

39:31

but also had a sense of humor and could do

39:33

comedy as well. And then he had a whole other life

39:35

outside of this business. Yeah.

39:38

And he was very happily married

39:40

and had his charity and I don't know,

39:42

I just always liked him. Did you know

39:44

Paul? No, I had never met him.

39:47

No. Well,

39:48

if you could ask him one

39:50

advice related question, what would you ask

39:53

him? I could ask Paul Newman

39:57

advice related question. I'm

40:02

better at giving the advice. Boy,

40:06

how do you

40:07

cope with aging?

40:09

What's your secret? I

40:11

think he was famously known for sticking his head

40:13

in a giant bucket of ice water every

40:16

morning. Wow,

40:17

it's getting popular with all the polar

40:19

plunging that's going on. Yeah,

40:22

I guess so. The cold plunge stuff. What

40:25

is the most graceful way

40:27

to accept

40:29

getting older?

40:30

What do you think he would say? I

40:32

think he would say, just keep

40:34

getting older for as long as you can. I

40:36

don't know. I don't know what he'd say. Stick your

40:39

head in a bucket of ice water? Yeah, stick

40:41

your head in a bucket of ice water. Maybe don't take yourself

40:43

so seriously. That's the

40:45

advice I would give to somebody. Don't

40:47

sweat the small stuff and it's all small stuff, that

40:49

kind of thing. We just go through life

40:52

worrying about everything. Well,

40:53

that goes back to the, you know, go lie down

40:56

at the beach and go lie in a pasture

40:58

and walk through the deep

41:00

woods.

41:01

Let Mother Nature coddle you and cradle

41:03

you a bit. Well, James,

41:06

I couldn't agree more, first of all. And

41:09

second of all, it was such a pleasure to have

41:11

you on the show and to see you again.

41:13

That's great. It's good to see you too. That

41:15

was so much fun. Yeah. I can talk

41:17

to you for another couple hours. I know. I

41:20

was very lost in the episode

41:22

and I was surprised when it

41:25

felt like we were just laying on the

41:27

beach somewhere. That's right. It felt

41:29

like I'm in a kind of meandering little meadow,

41:31

staring up at blue skies.

41:36

I'm going to miss this. What am I going to do to

41:38

calm myself again? I'm going

41:40

to actually take a walk into

41:42

the woods. Or maybe we could

41:45

go lie down in a pasture in

41:47

Oklahoma and listen to some Garth Brooks

41:49

and just chill

41:50

out. I was going to say, what people do

41:52

in the pastures of Oklahoma is they go

41:55

find the old cow turds

41:57

that have fossilized and they find

41:59

little mushrooms.

41:59

growing out of those cow turds. Yeah.

42:02

And you take that mushroom, and I guess this is probably

42:04

not something anything I should be condoning. It's

42:07

probably illegal. But

42:09

you really want to turn up the volume on the color

42:12

spectrum and all that while you're

42:14

laying in the field.

42:15

Isn't that crazy that that would be illegal

42:18

to get mushrooms off of poop?

42:20

Like, how is that possibly written

42:23

in a rule book somewhere? You're

42:25

going to jail if you take mushrooms

42:28

off of cow poop and put it

42:30

in your

42:31

mouth and then see crazy things.

42:33

Yeah. All right. So I don't think

42:35

that's up to us to tell people to do it

42:38

or not to do it. There's poop

42:40

out there with

42:40

mushrooms. But we're going to. We're going to go

42:43

lay a cow pasture. We're going to listen

42:45

to Baton Rouge. We're going to listen to Baton Rouge

42:48

and we're going to experiment with some strains

42:50

of poop shrooms.

42:56

It's like the good parents that we are.

43:00

James, is there anything you would like to mention?

43:02

Retract. Anything you'd

43:05

like to retract or add to before

43:08

we head out

43:09

of here? I think I've added plenty. No,

43:13

that's been lovely. It's so great

43:15

seeing you. And that was a fun chat. And we'd love to

43:17

do it again.

43:18

Love to have you and loved having you. And

43:20

hope to see you again soon. Walk

43:23

of shame too. Yeah. Walk of shame too. Bye.

43:26

Bye.

43:27

Oh, my sweet child.

43:31

There's so much I want you

43:34

to know. Oh,

43:37

my sweet child. There's

43:40

so much I want you to

43:42

see. I

43:45

wish that I could give you the answers.

43:49

I wish that I could make you believe.

43:53

I wish that I could put you on

43:55

your back and set you

43:58

free.