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Ad-free to catch up on the

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latest episodes without the ads. Hello

2:53

everybody and welcome back to another episode

2:55

of Don't Play Me your favorite podcast

2:57

where we give you wonderful amazing life-changing

3:00

advice scrumptious advice that you put in

3:03

your mouth and you're like oh that's

3:05

good what a mouth feel i

3:07

hate that i said that um

3:10

well my name is Megan my name is Melissa

3:13

and together we make up

3:15

your favorite m&m whether that is the wrapper

3:17

or the candy coated chocolate or

3:22

i don't

3:24

know they've got a monopoly on that market right

3:27

there oh it's two so it's not

3:29

a monopoly that's that's

3:31

true and then we're the third yeah and

3:34

then also me and my sisters too but doesn't

3:38

work for our brandy surprisingly

3:40

we're not related unless you're listening to the

3:42

audio which we're totally related we're

3:44

twins where have

3:47

you been twins why

3:49

do i know that because it's on

3:51

tiktok all day long i'm

3:55

i and i'm also on tiktok all day long remind me

3:57

i have another tiktok to show you about someone who's doing

3:59

an impression of olivia Pope meeting your situation

4:01

chip. It's so fucking accurate to the

4:03

point where like, if someone said be

4:05

Olivia Pope, I don't know that I would know what to do.

4:07

And now I do. The people

4:09

that are doing the Olivia Pope

4:12

impressions on TikTok genius,

4:16

I can't do it because I don't have an

4:18

upper lip. And part of the charm

4:20

of Olivia Pope is that quivering lip. And

4:22

when I do it, my lips turn into

4:25

Gabrielle Union's lips because she also does not

4:27

have a top lip like I do. And

4:29

so she does it in a

4:31

like snarling way. So I have Gabrielle Union's.

4:33

So I can't, I can't do a good,

4:35

a good Olivia Pope. And

4:38

boy, oh boy, the fact that

4:41

we were so lucky to get across of her episode

4:43

of Scandal and how to get away with murder. And we

4:45

got to see Anneliese Keating and Olivia Pope in the

4:47

same room. And the world continued on. It's like, it's not

4:49

like suddenly they were like, this is too powerful. This

4:52

is, I feel like if they

4:54

liked each other, it would have exploded, but they

4:56

hated each other. And of course they did. Why

4:59

they hated each other. If they had them be like

5:01

besties, I would go, and we're lying. Yes. And now

5:03

suddenly this, I believe that these

5:05

college kids killed an adult and have covered it

5:07

up. I believe Olivia Pope, I believe that Fitz

5:10

went to war for her, but you

5:13

can't tell me that these two bitches

5:15

would be random. These broads, hell no.

5:17

Hell no. Well, yeah. Welcome. We're going

5:19

to give you advice. What

5:21

a segue. And if you are brand

5:23

new here, welcome. And if you want

5:25

to call in or write it, sorry,

5:29

I had an almond and you know, sometimes

5:31

they dry up later. That's why I prefer

5:33

a roasted one. You're right. I, as I

5:35

ate the raw one, I was like, no,

5:38

the roasted one, that is,

5:40

they go down easier. Yeah. A lot smoother. Well,

5:43

if you would like to participate in upcoming episodes, you

5:46

can visit call three one zero six nine four zero

5:48

nine seven six international listeners. You can send us an

5:50

audio message at Megan podcast at email.com. And

5:52

you can also DM us or email us

5:54

at the same one for those ones. Keep

5:56

under 300 words. It is all

5:58

anonymous. So do your names or

6:01

anyone else's names, please include your age, you can

6:03

include your pronouns if you would like. And then

6:05

for the audio one, you have to keep it

6:07

under three minutes. For everything, be Asian or over,

6:09

have your parents' permission. And we do ask that

6:11

you write everything down ahead of time, even if

6:13

you're not just sending us what you've written down.

6:15

When you read it out loud, practice a few

6:17

times, make sure it fits under three minutes because

6:19

we can only go off of the information that

6:21

we are given by you. So we don't want

6:23

to give you bad advice or misled or wrong

6:25

advice. If we do that, we want

6:28

to do it intentionally, like as a bit and then like, we'll give you good advice

6:30

after. But we need to

6:32

know the situation to give you the best possible

6:34

advice. Shall we get into giving

6:36

advice? We shall. Dear

6:41

Megan and Melissa, long time listener, first

6:43

time caller. I'm 22 and I need

6:45

a thousand friendship. My best

6:47

friend is 21. And we share a friend

6:49

group which consists mostly of boys and

6:52

my boyfriend. We've all known each other for a

6:54

very long time, all through school, some

6:56

longer than others. My best friend, I've

6:58

known her for 10 years, is also part of

7:01

this group. I love her even though

7:03

our relationship has had rough patches through the years. It

7:05

began when I met my ex. She didn't like him

7:07

and made it known. We showed each other less and

7:09

less. Two and a half years, I realized I didn't

7:11

love him and we broke up. My best friend

7:14

and I grew closer again. And she was

7:16

there for me. I fell in love with my

7:18

nice boyfriend and she was scared I'd leave her

7:20

all over again. She told me after she discussed

7:22

this with some of the boys and she was

7:24

afraid they would tell me so she wanted it

7:26

to come from her. We had a good talk.

7:29

After that, the boys did tell me I

7:31

needed to be a better friend. So I was.

7:34

I made time for her, made plans with

7:36

just the two of us and we grew

7:38

closer than ever. This was about two

7:40

years ago. One year ago, little things

7:43

in her behavior started changing. She

7:45

let me know she wanted to be in a

7:47

relationship like most of her friends were, but never

7:49

really opened up to it and all the guys

7:51

that she dated she got bored of quickly. There

7:53

was always something wrong with them. She

7:56

also never wanted to be committed. She has commitment

7:58

issues, knows this and so on. me a few

8:00

times. I tried giving her advice

8:02

but she didn't really take it. Now the problem

8:04

I've been having is that I

8:07

feel she wants to keep fighting me over

8:09

the attention from the boys, a game I

8:11

don't feel like playing. She's so

8:13

in-pick-me-girl behaviour when we both hang out with

8:15

them. I have a few examples.

8:17

One, my friend and I haven't seen

8:19

each other in a while, he puts his arm around

8:21

me and asks me how I've been and tells me

8:24

he missed me. She hears and

8:26

she needs to come running, puts her arm

8:28

around him when he

8:30

tells her no, and

8:33

that he's talking to me, she doesn't

8:35

want to hear it. Another example is that

8:37

she speaks to me weirdly about them. She

8:39

tells me that they like having

8:41

her around and that they treat her like

8:44

a princess and she needs to tell me

8:46

every time she's called pretty by them. She

8:50

also tells me that they would do anything for

8:52

her if she asked nicely and then less, like

8:54

she can control them. She tells

8:57

me this six times in an hour-long conversation.

9:01

The third example was a few days ago

9:03

when she was drunk she fell and her

9:05

face is now bruised and her lip is

9:07

busted. She takes

9:09

a photo and puts this on her Snapchat account

9:12

with no text, just like she's

9:14

waiting for everyone to go oh no, what

9:16

happened? The first thing she said to

9:18

me is that one friend told her she finally

9:20

doesn't have a pretty face anymore. I

9:23

don't know what to do, I don't want to lose her because I

9:25

love her, but I don't know why

9:27

she's doing this. I guess insecurities. It

9:29

makes me uncomfortable when she speaks to me like

9:31

this about them. Please help me. Well

9:33

I think you hit the nail on the head,

9:35

it's insecurities. I do

9:39

like how you have been taking notes

9:41

with everything. Yes, everyone else

9:43

take notes, be giving us the three examples. Super

9:46

fucking helpful. Very helpful. Very helpful, thank you. We

9:49

got real insight into who this

9:51

girl is with the boys. I,

9:54

the way that the way you say the boys, like

9:56

that's, it scratches the inch of

9:58

my brain. Like it was just so. lovely it just

10:00

felt so nice in my head um

10:04

I think like you have a friend

10:06

problem but I also think you have

10:08

a friend group problem because don't take

10:11

the wrong way I do

10:13

think if this is like you didn't explain like

10:15

do you have other girlfriends

10:18

other female friends because I please

10:21

check out our patreon you

10:23

much that will intermittently happen to the both of us

10:25

all the time the

10:29

having like being the only two girls

10:31

in this friend group of just guys

10:33

it kind of becomes like

10:35

the spider-man meme of like pointing at each other

10:37

being like you're the pick me know you're the

10:40

pick me know you're the pick me when in

10:42

reality I think that a her behavior would not

10:44

happen as often

10:46

and it would not piss you off if you

10:48

weren't the only two girls in this friend group

10:51

you know I mean yeah like I just think

10:53

that that's that's the issue in itself and

10:56

she yes she's totally being

10:58

um she's being a

11:00

pick me but I

11:03

think that like if you look and

11:05

you don't have other girlfriends whether

11:07

it's being overtly a pick me in that like

11:10

why is that and then why is that that

11:12

I'm finding issues with her and then

11:14

it's like hmm then am

11:16

I now not having any female friends and now

11:19

I only have guy friends because like I do

11:21

think that like if someone who like had had

11:23

a lot of male friends and

11:25

had like growing up had had a lot of male friends

11:27

as well like I I think it's inevitable

11:30

that we all go through pick me phases that's just

11:32

patriarchy does but also

11:34

knowing that you know I

11:36

do hold my

11:41

I do hold my like female friends

11:43

and I hold them into a different standard than I

11:45

hold men like I'm like if everyone's shit talking on

11:48

like if if the conversation is about

11:50

a girl who like is just being the fucking worst

11:52

and it's all women and then a man

11:54

comes in and starts talking shit I go mup I

11:57

love this woman I would actually die for her I would take a bullet for her

11:59

like a cave you'd say any one negative thing about

12:01

her, like, what do you mean? So I do think

12:03

that, like, there's not there is

12:06

not like female camaraderie

12:08

here. And I think it

12:10

would benefit both of you to have

12:12

expand a friend group with

12:14

that. And I think like the boys getting involved in

12:16

all of that, even if you might find that, like,

12:18

you know, they're, she told them certain things, and then

12:21

they told you or whatever, I do think it is

12:23

kind of enabling in the pick me behavior.

12:25

And I think men enable that a

12:27

lot. Because like, the

12:30

pick me's are for it's for men, like, it's the

12:32

point is like trying to like, contort

12:34

and like, make yourself into

12:37

this idea that men have of like the

12:39

ideal woman or whatever. So I

12:41

think hanging out with her one on one and

12:43

like having that separate time is is great. But

12:46

I think to preserve your friendship you guys need,

12:49

you need to have more girls. Yeah,

12:51

I agree. Hang out with more girls will

12:53

help. Um,

12:56

I'm trying, I'm trying

12:58

to think of a nice

13:01

way to go about having a

13:03

conversation with her of why, why

13:06

she feels like she needs to be

13:09

like if you're having a conversation with the guy,

13:12

and his arms around you, and then she

13:14

comes over and puts her arm around him,

13:17

why does she feel like she needs to

13:19

run over and have that conversation? Like,

13:22

is she jealous of you? It seems like she's jealous

13:24

of you. Yeah. And like, you know, you

13:26

have in this friend

13:28

group, you have friends and a boyfriend, and

13:30

she just has the friend part.

13:32

So I think for her, she might feel like

13:35

you should get special attention from your boyfriend,

13:37

but then she should get the special attention

13:39

from the rest. But I think like, does

13:41

she is there a specific boy

13:43

that she wants to date, and

13:46

she's like, not

13:49

getting that reciprocated.

13:53

And then also her talking about like how

13:55

the guys, you know,

13:58

call her prettier than she posted that thing where she she

14:00

fell on her face and he's like, you're

14:02

not pretty anymore. Like she there's there's

14:04

it seems like there's a void that she needs

14:06

filled and it's not getting filled

14:09

in other relationships. But I think the guys

14:11

are also enabling it by saying those things

14:13

like, Oh, look, now you're not pretty. Like

14:15

it just to me is like, and

14:18

I don't know that this is you're holding on

14:20

to this friend that like might not be a great

14:22

friendship for you because she's your only female

14:24

friend. Like that's what I think. If you hang out with more women,

14:26

you might be like, Oh, I like

14:29

these other people a lot more. They're better

14:31

friends. I'd rather hang out with them or

14:33

wow. Her, when I, we've, we can, I've

14:35

deprogrammed her from this. I enjoy this

14:37

a hell of a lot more because I

14:39

think that like, I think that guys are, I

14:42

think men enable pick me behavior because they

14:44

reward, pick me behavior. It's

14:46

also though, like you can, cause the caller

14:49

said that she really loved

14:51

her. You could also love someone and they

14:53

not be the right friend for you. Like

14:55

there's people that I love that like

14:58

I legitimately like love them, love

15:00

them, but they're just not a good friend. Yeah.

15:02

And a friend

15:05

group is a really fickle thing. Um, especially

15:09

when you're significant other is a part of

15:12

said friend group. And I don't know how

15:14

long that you have known

15:16

the rest of them or if you brought her

15:18

into it or whatever that is, but it's just

15:20

like a lot of personalities that can be hard

15:22

to kind of coordinate everyone getting along at the

15:24

same time all the time. And you

15:27

know, obviously people have their side friendships

15:29

and like within that group and like the, the one-offs

15:31

and all of that stuff. But like, when it gets

15:33

to the point where like people are being like, Oh,

15:35

well, she said this about you, all of those kinds

15:37

of things. Like I, again, I think the guys are

15:39

kind of enabling, um, some

15:41

of that behavior. And I don't

15:43

think you're doing anything wrong because I do think it hanging out

15:46

with her one-on-one outside of the group is good because again, your

15:48

boyfriend's in the group and I don't want to hang out with

15:50

my friends. They're taking it out there all the time. Like it's

15:52

just not fun. Um, but

15:55

I think that like, like most of the

15:57

sad, like she's, there's something missing here.

16:00

She's like seeking out within this friend group

16:02

and that's just not a dynamic you're enjoying

16:04

and I think unless she can be honest

16:06

with herself and you guys can

16:08

get to the bottom of like what is she seeking out

16:10

from from who in this group specifically

16:13

is she interested in or whatever that is then

16:15

I think like maybe not having

16:17

so much friend group hangouts.

16:20

Yeah. Because like there are some people that you like

16:22

in a group and some people you don't like in a group too. That's

16:25

true. That's very true. Yeah.

16:28

But like if you guys still hang out

16:30

in the group then you're just talking about the group. I

16:33

think like having some independence from

16:36

that and having those things

16:38

is great. But then also like change the subject.

16:40

Anytime it comes up just

16:42

change the subject and be like okay cool. Hey did

16:44

you see this thing? Like I watched this really cool

16:46

like this funny movie later. I watched this funny movie

16:48

yesterday. Let me show you this

16:50

clip. I think you'll really like it or

16:52

you know she starts talking about how the guys

16:54

I treat her like a princess and you're like oh my gosh

16:57

that reminds me. Did you see the new they're

16:59

releasing the new something princess movie. Like you

17:01

can do things where it's like you

17:03

change the subject without and if

17:05

it keeps going back to it then be like yeah

17:07

I love you. Like I just don't

17:10

really like I don't really want to talk about this all

17:12

the time. Like we have so much more to talk about

17:14

besides them. We're so much more interesting

17:16

than just talking about these guys.

17:19

Most perfecto test on our own. Yeah.

17:23

I think she has to have feelings

17:25

for someone in there because like to kind of like idolize

17:28

romanticize and like put your

17:31

guy friends on a platter like

17:33

that. I've never I don't

17:35

get I've only done that with like crushes. Yeah.

17:41

Yeah it's also like weird flirty friends. Yep.

17:45

Flirty friend groups don't work for they

17:48

they have expiration dates. Okay. All

17:50

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20:05

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22:52

break. And it's time to. conviction. Hey.

22:54

Ladies, I'm meeting advice on what to do

22:56

about nosy neighbors. I live in a nice

22:58

apartment complex. the places new or but the

23:00

walls or since legal. My neighbors are you.

23:02

I can hear it as if I'm in

23:04

an extra room by saying i'm calling in

23:06

about nosy neighbors. It's me I that does

23:09

a neighbor me see. that's I listen in

23:11

on their fights all the time because isn't

23:13

there more entertaining than reality series? They are

23:15

you? About the dumbest things I feel bad

23:17

like a total creep my room with connected

23:19

to their living rooms. I hear the more

23:21

both and our respective areas are friendly enough

23:23

that we cross paths. Stay alert them to

23:25

the fact that they can basically everything. I kind

23:27

of worry that a little uncomfortable in their home.

23:30

oh I am twenty eight year run on. This

23:32

is you and your life though it is when

23:34

I had a. Major. Imprint

23:36

on the wall because like the stairs that

23:39

would be like it was a duplex so

23:41

it was a house it was made into

23:43

a duplex select I was on the top

23:45

floor there on the bottom floor and so

23:47

my stairs would obviously center was there was

23:50

the acoustics and so I would put my

23:52

ear there and I would be an African

23:54

living room and you could see the Alan

23:56

hi they got like plus bronzer little blizzard

23:58

like. Ah, Are you are used

24:00

as a cop on the floor? I would and then

24:02

I would open up the little I'm. Most

24:04

like eyes I guess maybe this is a

24:07

thing and like like places like all of

24:09

the old L a homes that the did

24:11

the doors of the little like pete opening

24:13

things I would open not listen in so

24:15

I know outside oh yeah sleep the that

24:17

the grass you who make eye contact with

24:19

my neighbors to be like who was here

24:21

first who didn't give the baxter her you

24:23

can tell us about how they started so

24:25

and know you do not tell them. If

24:28

if you sit they see if you're

24:30

getting entertainment or this and see what

24:32

the problem is. I'm. But

24:35

there are going about stupid shit. But if let's

24:37

say you do want them to know that

24:39

you just be loud. In. Your own apartment

24:41

and they'll know thing you can hear

24:43

this. Yeah, lake. And. There's just

24:46

no way that day. Yet.

24:48

Another, you hear them in a don't Hear

24:50

You because if the walter that then they'll

24:52

hear you watch tv. Yeah, unless you're the

24:54

one she being worth he just listen to

24:57

them. Are you put headphones on? Yeah. So.

24:59

He. Earned their they they know

25:01

and they probably just don't care hair

25:04

When people of. Haiti. Stupid.

25:06

Argument. Anything's gonna set them

25:08

off and they just don't care. In my

25:10

neighborhood. and are you have ice cream? So

25:12

that's like. Arguments that I was like. I

25:15

was taken sides like I would like have

25:17

you checked in on there and certainly I

25:20

think you're them because they move out and

25:22

I was like oh know what they're up

25:24

to a silly gathered. I.

25:26

Hope not. I never

25:29

wanted accidental. The people

25:31

isolated to I wanted to get divorced more but

25:33

like they're up there, I thought I'd like to

25:35

get divorced. And. the weird thing is

25:37

is the has and was so nice like.

25:40

That. Else is like I've been here we

25:42

are super had an as like this is

25:44

awful a nice to us Billie Holiday see

25:47

your spell know and legalese for her face

25:49

she was a fixed everybody here and I

25:51

respected that he of and I was a

25:53

girl here I don't think you're not fooling

25:56

me me like she's like no to the

25:58

best ever enough fine. But yeah,

26:00

I know he was. so to me so

26:02

much harm makes it they were. There

26:05

there was horrible. So I so relate to

26:08

this but yes I think are you do

26:10

not? Ah I'm. Anyone

26:13

who live in apartment is aware of

26:15

their. Voices and like how

26:17

loud they are like this is like how

26:20

we're programmed to be. Nobody is a completely

26:22

shocked that like oh my that's of people

26:24

can hear us like it's isn't going to

26:26

be that. So I think that like if

26:28

they're fighting that usually means that. They're

26:31

angry after they know that you've been

26:33

here and they know you know, but

26:36

I would not let on that whatsoever.

26:38

On and you know if the fights

26:40

are very bad and like you feel

26:43

like that something's wrong. Wrong. You

26:46

know you can ah alert officials or is

26:48

you feel excel and in danger? You can

26:50

try and reach out to that. You can

26:52

call a hotline and figure out what to

26:54

do from their site. I'm. I think.

26:57

By you're enjoying the petty Five Thirty Five. never know tough.

26:59

You can overlook you in the eyes. He and. His

27:03

like they know that it's like executive a

27:05

roommate and like you can he ruined have

27:07

sex and like they know that but you're

27:09

like one other talk about it and is

27:12

like a boa in he has such thing

27:14

as like me are you a sexy but

27:16

why are we talking about are a very

27:18

why would you bring that love I'm my

27:20

neighbors that live in a house over their

27:22

kids are always arguing with each other and

27:24

in the mom s me. Like.

27:27

Is my mom was here when she asked me says

27:29

I was in. Ah, fruits

27:31

around thinks. He wishes like do you hear them

27:33

are you and I was late. Yeah

27:35

I do but only if I'm on that

27:37

they have like my bedroom is not. On.

27:40

The like on a wall that is by

27:42

your house. Is just like in my gym

27:44

as you like as like it. Doesn't bother me

27:46

as like I have three sisters to

27:48

I don't care if if if if

27:50

hey. It's just. That

27:53

they are loud specific and they a

27:55

has quieted down. I.

27:58

I I just. I

28:00

think that like it's one of the things that like when

28:02

you live in a city we all know we all know

28:04

you know and like if you have to ask. Are.

28:07

You have to tell figure out why like what

28:09

your circumstance that you need to ask if someone's

28:11

hearing it or the circus is where you need

28:13

to tell because if is a need to ask

28:15

it's like oh I think that. We

28:18

could definitely tone it down and. I'm.

28:20

We should get some rugs and I'm trying

28:22

to apply justify girl math have a good

28:24

sport or in Iraq like that or are

28:26

you to tell someone and if you that

28:28

you can hear them it's like i don't

28:30

know they work for the Cia it here

28:32

and classified stuff and you're like as. He

28:35

doesn't. Or their listings like music without swear word

28:37

snarky. but kids not like there's certain things like

28:39

that. so I did. I think that like. Reserve

28:43

telling them when it gets so point that

28:45

you have to me or three hours and

28:47

ruin your own fun. Read: It.

28:50

Because of Lucky this it is

28:52

entertaining. Are you writer for use

28:54

as he uses yeah things. Are

28:57

you know? I don't know? I'm trying to

28:59

monetize, Just enjoy a letter one of our

29:01

but they go to like likely. The our biggest

29:03

downfall like. Could we make this

29:05

a Job says it's essentially it. And

29:08

let us know that for their fights. The. Craziest

29:10

when I ever heard that they have is about ice cream. I

29:14

say as I'm on their wedding us. Was.

29:17

Nexen. Years. I

29:20

have an M I am twenty five

29:22

years old easy her pronouns my mom

29:24

see her and I are very close

29:26

like park everyday usual multiple times a

29:29

day because her their everything. A little

29:31

over a year ago my dad has

29:33

been. On for divorce and the hard

29:35

few months, but ultimately. They decided to

29:37

work on their relationships and stay together.

29:39

This is great you but now my

29:42

mom is very wary of men including

29:44

my dad and my boyfriend. My.

29:46

Boyfriend is trans mask he they fell

29:48

off his childhood to college friends are

29:50

really in the past and I dated

29:52

says hit men that would be a

29:54

Red Sox honey this is that the

29:56

case anymore except no nonsense and I

29:59

understand that you. Because she likes. Of

30:01

market about how he has Toronto a

30:03

lot of female friends. Another example

30:05

is a my partner and I moved to

30:07

the city that we were the Now We

30:09

decided to both download Bubble, the Ss and

30:12

find new friends. I started going on friend

30:14

days before him and told my mom all

30:16

about them is a so excited and happy

30:18

for me or my partner one on one.

30:20

She asked if she accuracy where he was.

30:23

she said he goes out a lot harm

30:25

mind you. This is the first time since

30:27

I've known my partner of almost two years

30:29

to go out without me and need a

30:31

friend. I told her no. Usually just

30:34

go to work because the. Marching Band

30:36

practice and goes home. My parents my

30:38

family seem to love my partner and

30:40

our relationship, even to the point where

30:42

my historically homophobic uncle causing to talk

30:44

to him. So how do I tell

30:47

my mom nicely to stop projecting her

30:49

insecurities aren't me and my relationship and

30:51

how would you handle it? For reference,

30:53

I'm a real and see is a

30:55

Gemini. They so much that the party

30:57

on I reached a point where. You.

31:00

As child. Are awning so you rather than

31:02

therapy and I don't know how was. Your

31:07

Mommy therapy. You've been your own therapist the matter

31:09

how close you are like. Yeah.

31:12

This is. Not.

31:15

Good know talking multiple times a day.

31:17

Twice a day on of you saw

31:19

it in the transcripts. It I

31:21

said my dated since hetman but it

31:23

turns into they did this hit mass

31:25

and I loved that. Yeah.

31:29

Like talking. And I

31:31

say that's honestly I have a very

31:33

different experience, but like talking to a

31:35

parent multiple times a day. Every single

31:38

day. I twenty five years old. As

31:42

and with the additional context of

31:44

like divorce very hard like she

31:46

talks about your relationship and her

31:48

distrust of men and all that

31:50

Like that's too much, It's it's

31:53

it's too much and you're feeling

31:55

responsible for her feelings. She's making

31:57

you feel this way that years

31:59

though, concerned about the package you

32:01

deliver and to her. Which.

32:03

To me as I got, you've been responsible. For.

32:06

A lot of I'm. A

32:10

lot of see feelings as like a

32:12

kid in this circumstance and situation and.

32:14

I. Need My advice is that.

32:18

You. Wanting to do something

32:20

nicely. And not wanting to

32:23

hurt someone's feelings. Sometimes it's just

32:25

a nos to like, be totally

32:27

honest with us and know that

32:29

the intention their. If. You're

32:31

thinking about. I don't want to be an asshole

32:33

about this. He usually.

32:35

Like that's all you really need to. Do

32:37

is go into the situation and be like hey

32:40

I i really low. I do this in a

32:42

way that's like. Being. An asshole.

32:44

But the thing I always say in circumstances

32:46

where it feels like this might be come

32:48

across really harsh. As I

32:50

always kind of like caviar it with. I.

32:53

Could totally just ignore that. but I couldn't

32:55

ignore this thing that's like happening or that

32:57

you're doing or whatever. But I don't think

32:59

the you are intentionally trying to make me

33:01

feel this like and I if I if

33:03

the roles were reversed I would want you

33:05

to tell me that I was making you

33:07

feel bad because I I think so highly

33:09

of you that I think this is this

33:11

is not your intention, this is not what

33:13

you want to do and I think so

33:15

highly of you that you couldn't. Upon

33:17

knowing it that you will have no issue

33:20

and it will not be hard whatsoever to

33:22

change that behavior. So like I always think

33:24

when someone's telling me that like hey, you

33:26

hurt my feelings or can you not to

33:28

this this, this or whatever. I

33:30

thought of the bolster. If.

33:32

I give someone like can you Not Do

33:34

this or can this hurts me whenever that

33:36

to me is like you're worth it that

33:38

I would like to continue and pursue this

33:40

relationship here and then I'm not just going

33:43

to like jump been abandoned ship. So.

33:46

I just think that like. You

33:49

need to put your feelings

33:51

above hers because she's also

33:53

supposed to put your feelings

33:55

above hers year. Like. I.

33:58

An undersea in her been wary of men. Mean

34:00

yet. ah she doesn't trust your

34:02

father says what it is yeah

34:04

is that she doesn't trust your

34:06

father's he's rejecting it on t

34:09

you and your relationship and so.

34:12

They. May have worked things out as

34:14

far as like staying together, but they

34:16

haven't fully worked on their relationships because

34:18

if they did and she wouldn't. Be.

34:20

Projecting the way that she

34:22

is. snow on. The

34:25

to Go to couples therapy. Ah ha

34:27

ha. I'm just because they decide to

34:30

stay together. They work things out and

34:32

stay together. They are couples therapy. Nothing

34:34

was actually solves Mom. Or

34:37

if they didn't fully talk things out

34:39

because obviously she's not over know and

34:41

like does your mom have a job

34:44

Did she have a career? Did she

34:46

have a lot? Did she had to

34:48

take a break from her career Com:

34:50

What's her financial status like I if

34:53

you are and you've is your siblings

34:55

if you're all over eighteen. They.

34:58

Divorce she's not getting. Child.

35:01

Support like and it's you. Would

35:03

she be any alimony like a

35:05

lot of the time like people

35:07

stay together after almost breaking up

35:09

or divorce. Not because they've worked

35:11

on the relationship of because. It's

35:14

too. Expensive.

35:16

Complicated. Or complex to break

35:19

up yet where they just don't

35:21

want to be alone. Lay. They.

35:23

Don't know what it's like not to be with

35:26

that person. And. Boat if you're

35:28

twenty five, they've been married at Lisa that

35:30

amount a timer been together at least that

35:32

amount as as a long time to the

35:34

really long time and you don't like. You.

35:37

Don't know who you are without

35:39

that person because you haven't experienced

35:41

that in a very long time.

35:43

So I'm. A. Could have just

35:45

been fears and now they like

35:48

confronted that seer and they're like

35:50

we actually. Don't feel on Billie, I

35:52

don't trust you. And I actually don't wanna be

35:54

with you but like I don't wanna be alone. Yeah,

35:57

he could be like. They could

35:59

have been super. The stench more a long

36:01

time. They could be someone's traveling for work, that

36:03

they're like ships in the nice but then it's

36:05

like so then do I move out of the

36:07

family home I've lived in for this many years

36:10

and move into apartments at a brand new like

36:12

that. Like I don't really want to start like

36:14

some people are. okay being complacent in a relationship

36:16

that blood. out

36:18

of convenience at a certain

36:21

points on but. Like.

36:23

Moses as if you don't go to

36:25

that therapy on it's you're allowed to stay

36:27

in a relationship or whatever hundred and

36:29

you can see in a relationship for money,

36:32

the same relationship for access you could say

36:34

relationship for love, whatever the books, but

36:36

you have to be confident and comfortable in

36:38

your choice and. Season.

36:41

Not I think that she's viewing you

36:43

as a vessel for her life and

36:45

is. And as someone who has certainly

36:47

been the receiving end of a don't make the

36:49

Same mistakes that I did, it's like beach, you've

36:51

got your own fucking life than like, don't make

36:53

it like you're telling you, don't we the same

36:55

as a good idea at him once you make

36:57

that mistake and as you're saying that mistake and

37:00

I'm like. Why they keep

37:02

fit that the cognitive dissonance again they the fog

37:04

and separation from that is. Is.

37:06

So lie old and I

37:08

think it's. Remarkable.

37:10

And I don't mean that like a snarky

37:12

way like I mean that like I'm very

37:14

impressed. If you way that you've ended up

37:16

in a relationship it seems like very loving

37:18

and very happy. And like not to most

37:21

us because Access. Murky. Some

37:23

point pointing to me up until now.

37:25

but like that's like not what usually

37:27

happens when you. The have been

37:29

amassed or have been to be be the

37:31

parent to a parents and all of that

37:33

kind of stuff like that. Very difficult and.

37:36

She's threatening your peace now and

37:38

I think. Despite.

37:41

I think there's It's never too late for the

37:43

roles to shift for a parent for a kid

37:45

has been trying to find I'm I think like

37:48

if you still a loving you care about. Your.

37:50

Mom would you do that? You're very close. I.

37:53

Think the best thing that you could do

37:55

for both of us to give her the

37:57

opportunity to to be the mom. So

38:01

I'm. If

38:03

she doesn't react well. That's

38:06

on her. And like

38:08

you already know, she's projecting and.

38:11

I will also say that like if she

38:13

react poorly just know that there's no other

38:15

what you could a phrase that so like

38:18

sometimes people are just gonna be upset because

38:20

they want you to be a cardboard boxes

38:22

just receiving everything they want to say the

38:24

that you'd any don't absorb any of it

38:26

is bounces right off of you but you're

38:28

always there to listen and all that and

38:31

then when you have your own feeling, their

38:33

own thoughts and you respond to that kind

38:35

of stuff like sometimes people just get upset

38:37

so know that like I hope it goes

38:39

well but if she's hurt it's. Not because

38:42

of. How you said it

38:44

is because you said it and she doesn't

38:46

want you to say at an that doesn't

38:48

help either of you. Also also has she

38:50

been. Like. Trying to

38:52

make your father as he might be, but as

38:54

you been try to make him out to be

38:57

like the bad guy and then it's. You.

38:59

To against the other than. Is

39:01

as a sometimes people do to yeah

39:03

and and then if you see him

39:06

as the bad guys in that's using.

39:08

Your. Boyfriend. As

39:10

a bad guy and they all can

39:12

commiserate in. That yeah I'm like

39:14

you've been said. they get your uncle will

39:17

call to talk to him like does he

39:19

get separated as okay girls. do this Boys

39:21

go do that. It does it get separated

39:23

in that sense where it becomes like you,

39:25

you and her versus the men and like

39:28

that she has. Friends. That

39:30

she has like what's her social life like?

39:32

Like what is what does she has That's

39:34

not. Just. You

39:37

and him. His

39:40

yeah this is just like she's projecting so

39:42

much but I also think you can just

39:44

tell her like I with love I think

39:46

you're projecting and like you know if you're

39:49

not happy and your relationship like as your

39:51

kid. I wholeheartedly support. A divorce. Yep!

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43:28

That I am calling in with a roommate

43:30

is him. and twenty six See her and

43:32

my roommate is twenty four. See her. We've

43:34

been living together for almost a year, were

43:36

really close friends. I love her like a

43:38

sister and I haven't signed. Last year we

43:40

decide to move to a new city together

43:42

and to start our careers. Since being here

43:44

we have made great. We have met great

43:46

friends and even I. I even met my

43:48

now boyfriend. It's time to resign armies and

43:50

she's all for it. Line a little on

43:52

the fence. she's going through her wholesale. Her

43:54

words not mine is and is not discreet

43:56

in her parents. She has sex. With the

43:58

door open? Oh. My. God

44:00

the way I. Read this

44:02

since. Shut. The fuck up! Vegan

44:05

has removed her glasses and pulled

44:07

her computer closer instead of just

44:09

keep if. I thought. See

44:13

a closer and when I questioned her about she

44:15

says they're just so in the moment she doesn't

44:17

let a doorstop them and I should just go

44:19

ahead phones. I have a boyfriend were always respectful

44:21

issues there to close it or maybe any maybe

44:24

even term music. She's very open and are no

44:26

by can take another year of that. We both

44:28

make money and up my live on our own

44:30

as I'm leaning towards that. I also don't want

44:32

to hurt her feelings or causes strain. Or

44:34

friendship A advice be greatly appreciated. Know.

44:38

The way that I would say to be like if they only sign

44:41

a lease and it's like. Always. On always

44:43

of we sign a contract that eight every time

44:45

the you have sex is a door opens you

44:47

have to pay me fifty dollars. At more

44:49

than a hundred dollars? Yes, Because they

44:51

can live on their own Of? yeah, you're

44:53

right, they have money. Yes, So it needs

44:56

to be however much. Yeah, however much that

44:58

y'all would make, Like, however much it would

45:00

be for you. To live on your Omaha.

45:03

Divide that by how many much or

45:05

how many days or in the month

45:07

and then. Take. That money a time

45:09

she has sex with the door open and put

45:11

in and you're like she has to do Css

45:13

or you just have them all requests. Yes it

45:15

is. It happens. Because.

45:18

No one is that in the moment that

45:20

you can't such the door known you can

45:22

be male you know with someone answered the

45:24

door sills like she's a voyeur. I will

45:26

say that excuse to me as I make

45:29

you lie you not like yeah yeah I've

45:31

been in the way. You're saying that it's

45:33

a fantastic ago yes read I'm your roommates.

45:36

Hundreds. Of the core care how in the

45:38

moment you are driven. Set.

45:40

The door of, you know, familial. They're like.

45:43

Like. It's it's you've seen it in team.

45:45

Lizards are available or be like so. Overly.

45:48

Home. Well as you're in, no. Way I'm the

45:50

door because. The that

45:52

they just have to get it like

45:54

you know it's is being like were

45:56

so in the moment. The. Myers

45:58

as vague so or having productive

46:01

using production like. You're not,

46:03

It's is sucking. I hear the door of

46:05

the apartment smoking in public display like you're

46:07

making it says the room you can close

46:09

the door. So. Way

46:12

I would have. That.

46:14

Put on blindfolds and headphones and

46:16

just walk into Slam The Door.

46:18

I you know, Still, Around

46:21

says slammed the door and bigger

46:23

what you feel on the way.

46:25

That I would get a megaphone.

46:28

And I would like close my

46:30

eyes and stream into that being

46:32

like are you fucking kidding me?

46:34

It's human, It's is. So I

46:37

know she's doing this on purpose

46:39

because the. Any man this eve

46:41

with their and I closer to either

46:43

she like know they believe door opens

46:45

see what? What are you pursuing on

46:47

themselves Watching Real Housewives of. For tobacco, Maryland,

46:49

don't worry about it is. Easy

46:52

I think she's worried about s.

46:55

Know you. Who. Are part of

46:58

your the maybe when she walks the door you hang

47:00

out the living room and say. Such.

47:02

The Door when you have sex. You fucking

47:04

perverts. Yes. And that guy didn't go. Okay,

47:07

you're right. like this is not. Think

47:10

these are not to people who are

47:12

being aware that we are his style.

47:14

Leo has a lie Know because that

47:16

would mean that they would start in

47:18

the hallway like they would have. Sounded

47:21

like a. Dog.

47:23

But then they make it to the bedroom.

47:26

Know. That it makes still says he

47:29

says as he sticking his penis. I loathe

47:31

the different just all was still on like.

47:35

Lives she gets off on this wow

47:37

no I in my life as his

47:39

new that is I even the jar

47:41

anymore move Now these answer no I'm

47:43

think the jars what I would have

47:45

done the first time it happened but

47:47

like the waited.answer it makes me even

47:49

more I write it doesn't like. Animal

47:52

just lying. And now first of all, you're having

47:54

sex. I didn't care. You know you're just going

47:57

to. Just. Lie to

47:59

my face. Well woman like say

48:01

about something that we as women. Now

48:03

it's like uses pseudo more.

48:05

Insisting that really? Was a quick as

48:07

a woman being like oh yeah I know, like

48:10

I don't need anyone to like place like Clint

48:12

like I can just set off whenever I go

48:14

home in the room where are you lying to

48:16

me sick or really weird Six so caught up

48:18

in the moment doesn't wouldn't do the A likes

48:20

accelerated Insider and she's pregnant. He's got so caught

48:22

up in a moment but like got a girl

48:24

and we just got so caught up in a

48:26

moment My. Penis. Walking around is

48:28

a drip not your has the the other hand is

48:30

ready. Would. Have knew we were so

48:32

in the moment. Yeah, she's a liar who? Well,

48:35

Yeah. You've been roped into this cake and

48:37

that to like so. Not fucking their non

48:39

consensual know but I tell you, Million or

48:41

boyfriend to a half. And tell her

48:43

feel like. I would say to even

48:46

be like not even bring out the least basic hey

48:48

I love you Thought I knew use of having sex.

48:50

The door open like. And. This that

48:52

I would say could you said you ever like

48:54

a sister and I says he will work It's

48:56

making me hate you and I don't wanna hear

48:59

like is making me fucking hate you and I

49:01

don't I don't want to be our life into

49:03

like point blank we're not fucking renewing this lease

49:05

but like if we may get to the end

49:08

of this leads of out me murdering you and

49:10

your fucking sleep I need you to said the

49:12

goddamn door. Or. I'm

49:14

going show up in a fucking Freddie Krueger masks

49:16

and just scare the shit out of you or

49:18

whatever main your fucking money. To.

49:21

Can play that game. I

49:24

read that would be. I.

49:26

I would. I

49:29

can't even wrap my head around and

49:31

notice It was bad enough for my.

49:33

Last room it ever had. Her

49:36

in her boyfriend be going at it. And.

49:39

Ah let's I sit here like in their

49:41

room with the door be close. The leader.

49:44

Of money. she got pregnant so

49:46

like oh true fucking. But

49:48

they will be going at it all the

49:51

time. late olds and then they broke up

49:53

at one point she got this do that

49:55

was so hot own. I

49:58

know for her and he had. I

50:00

knew it. he was ill the

50:02

new guy because. It. Was difference

50:04

you that the door when i

50:06

began own place forces and s

50:08

almost like okay but like that

50:10

dude was really real in her

50:12

late a march and then she

50:14

got back together with the other

50:17

do ah shortly after. I'm.

50:19

But. That. They'll

50:22

be like abu I would just. You.

50:24

Know they had the door close unfortunately.

50:27

My. I'm the the may

50:30

head was on her wall.

50:32

As. Is played headphones on and just

50:34

showed up. A can I learn the used

50:36

to be that like that girl who like if like we

50:38

were like most as of. I don't drink anymore, but like.

50:41

You're drinking college or drinking a high score? Never. And

50:43

it was like oh like hooking up with someone i think

50:45

everybody's asleep and then the first time that that ever

50:47

happened to me and I was on top bunk beds

50:49

and I'm just going. The ship is

50:51

now slaying what's going on and my friend

50:53

of I realize that someone has on the

50:56

bug but by the bunk below us and

50:58

their fuckin' and i was like. Yeah,

51:00

I've actually never going to that again, did I?

51:02

Yes. But I also quit drinking and now I

51:04

never actually really ever did it again. But I

51:06

was like. Wow.

51:08

I. We should know less

51:10

about each other, especially the people that we live

51:12

with. them were like so close. I like, I

51:15

don't need to know. Someone.

51:17

When close is like a sister idol.

51:20

And. Like what if you like worth the locations a

51:22

good if you walk into the kitchen we can be

51:24

easily as a different apartments. I've been an like. It's

51:27

the doors open. There's no

51:29

shot. There's no way I could see into

51:31

your room from some other part of the

51:33

apartments near. To the

51:35

way you should be Fucking mortified And

51:37

big. We can never speak about this

51:39

again is fucking mortified to completion. Disgusting

51:43

disgusting feals. No see. I would

51:45

put her in jail. So believe

51:47

put on headphones on. Well.

51:50

My always. This

51:53

the since way c l u our

51:55

your room, the way that I would

51:57

gouge my eyes out and then gods.

52:00

It out the way. I would take crows and

52:02

least him into that bedroom. I

52:04

put a think bomb in there I would like

52:07

I would do. I would make it in it.

52:09

Uninhabitable. I.

52:13

I bless you for trying to maintain his run your i

52:16

don't know how I would do him. No move. Out like

52:18

you have the money, she has the money yell

52:20

or does. Try. I

52:22

guess you. You.

52:24

Know love to down it's if I

52:26

I glued on her since I'm not

52:29

a person that lake. Is.

52:33

I can afford it that I'm just. Gonna have a

52:35

roommate? Now. Elicits a

52:37

significant other. yeah know, like. I'm

52:40

not. Home enough of my door.

52:42

Like I just wanna hang out with the

52:44

girls and know that's not my life. I

52:46

get annoyed. Hearing other

52:49

people breathe for time period of time

52:51

and let alone someone having sex with

52:53

the door open. But. I

52:55

kind of the mode months I loved

52:57

to dance because sometimes on the like

52:59

I remember sulfate like. So.

53:01

The idea that like. Whatever benefits

53:04

you read from this roommate to the and

53:06

it's not financial like that's fine, but you

53:08

can afford it. Whatever benefits you reap like

53:10

make this a difficult decision. I. You

53:13

are. You are a much more

53:15

patient person and I am. I

53:20

would love to have a wealth of them a story like this. And

53:23

year. Collison let us

53:25

now. Now. Cipher don't

53:27

blame him. For. So

53:33

the way that is where a list

53:35

or will call in with advice pertaining

53:38

to previous episode. they might a professional

53:40

experience I have personal experience on. They

53:42

might have had a friend or family

53:44

member go through something similar or the

53:46

managers noticed or heard something in the

53:48

call that we didn't that they want

53:50

to touch on to give their own

53:52

advice. hi I'm calling in response to

53:54

the recent don't blame the episode of

53:56

the caller who is looking for advice

53:59

on entering it. To the communication,

54:01

Pr and social media industry

54:03

with A D H D.

54:06

I'm. I'm actually for years and

54:08

my career and the field and other

54:10

have really rather it is T. That

54:14

was undiagnosed for a long time. The

54:16

biggest thing that I would say.

54:19

For the color is

54:21

to set boundaries up

54:23

front and get very

54:25

clear expectations from your

54:27

bosses in wherever you

54:29

end up going. Through

54:35

the pretty much on at a

54:37

small pr agency. On when

54:40

I was a social media accounts

54:42

for Nader and realize that the

54:44

expectations of day isn't He was

54:46

just so unrealistic for somebody, especially

54:48

with a D C. O

54:50

M. I would also agree that

54:52

you don't need to disclose thought

54:54

to any employer. Really are. All

54:57

of you know that could

54:59

impact on high. Earning. I

55:03

would maybe recommends Thirty now as a

55:05

social media coordinator in house because sometimes

55:07

working up the Are agencies can be

55:09

really overwhelming when you have like. Five.

55:12

To a dozen clients at a time my

55:15

some up working and house of asked me

55:17

to. Focus on just. One

55:20

thing other time. I'm

55:22

I would really recommend using a

55:24

sauna or trillo. it does sports

55:26

for tracking you were tasks or

55:28

my hopes me to stay organized

55:31

and my everything down. So

55:34

yes, I agree with everything else that

55:36

make it A Melissa said. On

55:40

the publishing side of ah but that's what

55:42

I have to say about the Pr and

55:45

as a sign of good lesson as a

55:47

group. Really really great neighborhood. A different like

55:49

Flavors of A D H D Like some

55:51

people they need the structure of like. Not

55:55

too many things going on at

55:57

once. But for me, I need things to bounce.

56:00

Wayne a creative was an but I have

56:02

other friends that anybody who also work and

56:04

pr and they started are like work and

56:06

not pr. they were big that out work

56:09

in pr it's totally different personality types but

56:11

they work in a on the social sites

56:13

and they've done in house. And

56:15

they got. they did that and I

56:17

got really bored with it and then

56:19

moved to. A they worked on like

56:22

a brand it's I got bored with that and then moved

56:24

to like agency sides the urge to in the bunch different

56:26

things and then they're gone back to the in a gone

56:28

back and forth and not kind of thing with i think

56:30

it's great because it's also like there's a lot of them.

56:33

Movement Within that this industry of people who goes.

56:36

You. Can do a lot of different things.

56:38

I'm from it. Some think that's great. Love

56:41

it love it love it Thank you so much Will

56:43

that is it for episode we hope you all enjoyed

56:45

he did even all the bus a review on the

56:47

party that app even awfully review for the episodes disobedience

56:49

lot of I were to new something a reminder to

56:51

read one. For. That for different one. Theory

56:54

didn't have an exit. One. Moment

56:56

Please call in for an upcoming episode

56:58

or you know it's right in the

57:00

senate. A D M on Instagram or

57:02

email as a voice a memo everything

57:04

with the top of the call that

57:06

also applies and done Yeah! Joined Pedro

57:08

Me Quite a video version and you

57:10

can also join us for livestream sides,

57:12

months, hang out with people so long.

57:15

I still have actually yet to from Mary how

57:17

She feels been cast As Sills On think. She's.

57:20

Traveling. That's

57:23

now. Yes, he's an hour I

57:25

thought. Oh, Sure,

57:27

Yeah, they're You're right. She landed. she did

57:29

because he asked about the monopoly days in

57:31

the tracking me and other nodes. This event

57:33

two cents hooky. As like the one day

57:35

I do get into the monopoly thing I

57:37

did it has information. And I thought he

57:39

responded to i did. It affect guy. You're

57:42

right, You're right, you're right arm. He said this

57:44

is gonna be a busy time this less you

57:46

could. Meet up allegedly with. Bree

57:48

at this. In my mind, it was like. I

57:51

thought a we are in April. He

57:53

is bloody. Fucking. Hell her that

57:55

April and your I knew they they brought

57:57

it sees somebody I you get an author

57:59

resolve. Hang out of Iran. It's

58:01

a grand old, jolly old. the that old

58:03

time. And bonus

58:05

point of you join and you say era you Amy

58:08

of Mit. Symbol is. So.

58:13

Weird uses may those you not

58:15

listening so businessman. Or as

58:17

I know this this is this we hope you

58:20

enjoyed and we will on. Oh stay tuned for

58:22

addresses. The up says they're pulling out physique we

58:24

have seen. I see the tomorrow Ah Wednesday we

58:26

give you a break. Thursday we have but am

58:29

I wrong Please join us were hunted and grand

58:31

old time. Across. So

58:33

many platforms. If you're not on

58:35

our Instagram lead, we're We're doing

58:37

more things on Across also So

58:39

Media and we did it at

58:41

a a me. Last.

58:43

Week couple weeks ago. know. It.

58:46

Was fun I had I could accept go. In

58:48

there so me more they are really funny

58:50

I've I've been working on more casting ones.

58:52

And. The. One for sir. I

58:55

had made me. His my pants

58:57

last saintly to see. Don't tell me

58:59

again it see. I

59:01

feel like you could get. Ah

59:04

right. By

59:14

me. Magnets and Me Melissa D.

59:16

Months Plus Diamond Imprint Productions Post

59:19

Production: Sound and editing by Cocoa

59:21

Lorenzo Production assistants by Melanie D.

59:23

Watson.