0:00

Wh cross,

0:04

where he parks and he

0:06

preamps me blacks. Why,

0:15

so why

0:31

oh good

0:39

morning oh

0:49

oh oh

0:59

oh oh

1:09

oh oh

1:16

hello and welcome to another

1:18

Tuesday episode of Dopey the

1:21

podcast on drugs addiction and

1:23

dumb shit and my name

1:25

is Dave and I am thrilled

1:28

to offer another Tuesday episode of

1:30

that good old Dopey

1:33

podcast and today is

1:35

another interview that

1:37

we conducted on our incredibly

1:40

legendary West Coast

1:43

Dopey trip. Today's

1:45

episode is with Jacob

1:47

Knoll. Who is Jacob Knoll?

1:49

Maybe some of you know who

1:51

he is. Jacob Knoll is a

1:54

guitar player. He's a singer. He

1:56

has a band called Jacob's Castle.

1:58

He is a drug addict

2:00

in recovery. But what makes

2:02

Jacob Knoll, you know,

2:05

whatever, you know, notable

2:08

to most people, I mean

2:11

he has a fucked up story,

2:13

but what makes him famous is

2:15

that his father was Bradley Knoll

2:17

and Bradley Knoll was the lead

2:19

singer and guitar player and founder

2:21

and songwriter from Sublime and Bradley

2:23

Knoll died of a heroin overdose

2:26

when he was 28 and Jacob was one and

2:28

now Jacob is 28

2:33

and he's singing in Sublime. And

2:35

we're gonna go over all this with

2:37

Jacob but that's today's show and I'm

2:40

very excited about it. I've always been,

2:42

or I've been a Sublime fan for

2:44

a long time, I wouldn't say I've

2:47

always been a Sublime fan but I've

2:49

been a Sublime fan for, you know,

2:51

fucking 30 years or something crazy. It's

2:54

crazy how we get old and

2:56

I have

2:58

to say, is it 30 years?

3:00

I don't know. This is... let's

3:02

see. If I'm 49 and it's 20-24... no not 30 years. See I already fucked

3:10

this thing up. I would say

3:13

I'm a Sublime fan since

3:15

I heard what I got because

3:18

I'm not, I wasn't a, you know, I was

3:21

like a New York City person. I wasn't a

3:23

big California reggae person. I was a real reggae

3:25

person but I heard what I got and I

3:27

was like these guys know what they're doing. And

3:31

my friend Todd, you know, if you're never

3:33

heard Dopey before there's so much to unpack

3:35

but my friend Todd was on the show

3:38

a lot of times and

3:40

he was a drug addict and he died

3:42

of an overdose five

3:44

and a half years ago and

3:47

he loved Sublime. So

3:49

whenever I think about Sublime I think

3:51

about Todd and I think about

3:53

the end of my

3:55

time with Todd in California and

3:58

we were driving around long Beach

4:00

listening to Garden Grove and

4:02

Boss DJ and the acoustic

4:05

record and Todd was

4:07

just so strung out on heroin

4:09

and meth and he

4:11

bought a what

4:14

is it called a Crown

4:18

Vic was a

4:20

Crown Vic and it was black

4:22

and white and Todd when

4:24

Todd went to California he had a

4:27

Jeep Cherokee like in

4:29

fucking 1990 Jeep Cherokee

4:32

or something that his parents bought him

4:34

and it was a classic car maybe the

4:36

94 Jeep Cherokee

4:39

classic car and

4:41

very comfortable and

4:43

Todd high on meth got the idea

4:46

to trade it

4:48

in and get a really tricked out like

4:51

Hyundai with a spoiler and

4:53

all this shit $35,000 Hyundai that we laughed at him

4:55

for and he never made payments

5:01

at it and I think

5:03

he sold it to somebody it wound

5:05

up getting repossessed and then

5:07

Todd took whatever money he had and we

5:10

went to Long Beach to buy a black

5:13

and white Crown Vic and

5:15

we listened to Sublime the whole

5:17

time so whenever I'm in

5:19

California I think about Todd and

5:21

whenever I deal with Sublime Todd

5:24

is always right at

5:26

the back of my head I think

5:28

he would wear a Sublime

5:30

shirt fairly often he definitely

5:32

identified with Sublime and his

5:35

Todd's birthday is coming up so whenever I

5:37

can talk a little bit about Todd I'm

5:39

super happy to do it I

5:42

don't know I'm gonna read this really quick morning

5:45

just wanted to say I really enjoyed

5:47

this week's episode with Annie Letterman you

5:50

had a really interesting dynamic just wanted

5:52

to know where one can see dopey

5:55

socks everyone's answer to a lot of

5:57

these questions as a go-to Facebook Instagram

6:00

or TikTok which leaves tons of people out of

6:02

the mix. I'm not on social

6:04

media due to I find it as a

6:06

downer and for me a waste of time.

6:09

I suppose if this is the

6:11

only way to see them or buy them

6:13

I can sign up and just delete

6:15

the account after the fact. Can't

6:19

see them on the Dopey website, that's true. If

6:21

it's not too much of a hassle can you send

6:23

me a link or a photo of the different

6:25

designs? Anyway, love

6:27

what you are doing. Look forward to

6:29

this Tuesday's show. By the way, I

6:32

took Benadryl last night too. Definitely

6:34

was a horrible addict. More was the real

6:36

problem, but heroin and cocaine, the

6:41

peaks and valleys and speedballs

6:43

were always the very highest

6:46

of highs and lowest of lows. I've

6:48

always had issues with sleep. Getting sober

6:50

did not fix that part of my

6:52

life and for me one

6:54

or two Benadryls rather than bad sleep

6:56

or no sleep is just part of

6:59

maintaining my vision of normalcy. Take

7:01

care and talk to you soon. You

7:03

know I just had this big talk with

7:05

Linda this morning about sleep. She's convinced I

7:08

have sleep apnea. So I'm gonna go

7:10

get a sleep study. I've been,

7:12

there's so much anti-Benadryl fucking

7:15

talk lately that I'm taking a

7:17

break. I say take

7:19

Benadryl. I support anybody out

7:22

there who wants a good night's sleep, suffers

7:24

from lack of sleep and

7:27

I support you in your

7:29

Benadryl pursuit. But so many

7:31

people are being judgmental of

7:34

my Benadryl pursuit that I've

7:36

switched again to melatonin. I

7:38

took 5 milligrams last night. I slept

7:41

pretty good. But people

7:43

will say melatonin's bad too. Linda's

7:45

like why don't you just

7:47

sleep drug free? And then someone else

7:50

suggested I start working out more. So

7:52

I did that too. Over

7:54

the weekend I did, I got

7:57

back into couch to 5k. I

7:59

jumped ahead. to week three. So

8:03

if you're interested, that's where I'm

8:05

at. I'm back on the path. It's a Tuesday

8:09

show again. I'm not sure what I'm supposed

8:11

to put in. There's so much good shit.

8:14

I don't know what to leave for Friday

8:16

now. This is going to be interesting. If

8:18

you want to be part of

8:21

Dopey, send in an email or

8:23

a voicemail to dopeypodcast.com. That would

8:26

be spectacular. I

8:28

would just love that so much. And

8:30

you get socks. So dude, I don't even

8:33

know who that was who wrote that email

8:36

saying he couldn't find socks and he's taking

8:38

Benadryl. You get free socks. So

8:40

congratulations. I'm not on the big gear

8:42

so I can't play the yay sound

8:45

effects, but I'm feeling very yay in

8:48

my heart for you winning the Dopey

8:50

socks that you were asking about. And

8:53

I want to read this note. Oh

8:55

no, there's a whole... We're going to

8:57

go down the whole methadone teeth on

8:59

the Friday show, which I'm very excited

9:01

about. I also want to remind everybody

9:03

that enjoys the show, sign

9:06

up for Patreon. You get

9:08

preview shit. We played you

9:10

the Dopey dry January with

9:12

Hank Azaria and Chloe LaBranch last

9:14

week. We did a

9:16

preview of the Fentanyl J. I didn't

9:19

do a preview of Jacob Noll. I

9:21

don't know why. I just love to

9:23

come out with the big shocker, the

9:25

big, Oh my God, he got Jacob

9:28

Noll from Sublime and Jacob's Castle moment.

9:30

So you go

9:32

to www.patreon.com/ Dopey

9:36

podcast for Dopey

9:38

Patreon. So much good shit and

9:41

it really, really helps the show. It

9:43

helps me. It's a

9:45

step closer to Dopey

9:48

manifestation, the world takeover. So

9:52

join our Patreon and here's Jacob Noll.

9:55

And I want to give a huge thank

9:57

you to Jacob's team, especially Margaret for her

9:59

help. hooking this fucking thing up. One

10:02

other really important shout out before we

10:04

get to Jacob is

10:06

Dopey old-timey

10:09

fucking Dopey legend the one

10:11

and only B gets

10:13

from the Up Full Life podcast basically

10:15

made this thing happen connected us

10:18

with Jacob's people you guys need

10:20

to check out the Up Full

10:22

Life podcast. B just

10:24

did a super exclusive

10:26

interview with these Austrian

10:29

iconic electronic producers Cruder and

10:31

Dorfmeister. B won't shut up

10:33

about how amazing it is

10:35

so check them out on

10:37

Up Full Life. He recently

10:39

had Roger Stevens from Blind

10:41

Melon. A million good things on Up

10:43

Full Life. Check them out at upfulllife.com

10:45

or wherever you ever get your

10:48

podcast so big up to be get.

10:50

And here is Jacob Noll. So

10:59

Jacob Noll, Jacob's castle.

11:01

That's right. Welcome to the

11:03

show. Are you kissing the

11:05

pythons? My bad sorry about

11:07

that. Jacob is fresh out

11:09

of the gym. Jacob drove two

11:11

hours from Long Beach and we're

11:13

on location Los Angeles. We're never

11:15

out here. So there's a big

11:18

treat. It's a fortuitous moment. There's

11:20

a journalist named B gets who

11:22

wrote me and he's friends with Margaret and

11:25

he was like I just heard

11:27

Jacob on the Rolling Stone podcast. If you're in

11:29

LA you have to try to get him

11:31

and we've pulled it off. Dude we did

11:33

it. This is an auspicious event here. This

11:35

is great and for good tidings good tidings

11:38

and for anyone who doesn't know Jacob

11:40

Noll has a band called

11:43

Jacob's castle. He started a

11:45

band called Law but more

11:47

famously tragically and infamously he

11:49

is the son of Bradley

11:51

Noll of Sublime and

11:54

Jacob is now playing cello

11:56

with Sublime probably a bunch

11:58

of other shows. How you feel? tape. It

12:01

really is crazy, you know, it's something I never thought

12:03

I would do but here

12:05

we are and I couldn't be more grateful

12:07

and excited to, you know, be a

12:09

part of something like that. I have

12:11

so many questions. Yes, me

12:13

too. I wake up with so

12:16

many questions. You can go to my doing

12:18

here. That's the first question. Why am I

12:20

here? What are we here for? What do

12:22

you think, and this is not one of

12:24

the questions, but are you somebody that feels

12:26

you have a purpose? Yeah, I

12:28

think so. I think doing these things gives

12:30

me a purpose. I think we kind of

12:33

invent our own fantasies and our own stories

12:35

to interface with and to put us through

12:37

life. I grew up in

12:39

a crazy alcoholic drug-addicted household so I

12:41

think I escaped to fantasy and stories

12:43

and art and media and

12:46

in those places I sort of discovered myself,

12:49

you know, and it was like I was this

12:51

alien on a distant planet. I could feel this

12:53

weak signal being transmitted to me and I just

12:55

wanted to tap into it. So my purpose now

12:57

I feel like through me doing my own music

13:00

with Jacob's Castle or getting to

13:02

step in the role of my late father's

13:04

music and bring his bandmates together and our

13:06

families together and get to portray

13:08

that for all of the fans of that

13:10

music out there. That's me trying to transmit

13:12

that weak signal back out there. I hope

13:14

they had an alien's note to come get

13:16

you. Exactly. I'm hoping they'll just do it

13:18

back in. I meet those aliens every day.

13:20

Hopefully some will be at our late next show

13:22

with Coachella. We're all here. When is

13:25

Coachella? That's a good

13:27

question. I think it's in April. Coachella

13:29

is coming and you guys can see

13:31

Jacob there and Jacob

13:34

is a drug addict as well. A

13:36

real bad one. Now let me let

13:38

me let's just... Me and drugs go

13:41

way back. Well when you say you

13:43

grew up in a drug and alcohol

13:45

riddled house, your dad overdosed and died

13:47

and I'm sorry. You know

13:49

I I felt horrible just for

13:52

the world. I became

13:54

a huge Sublime fan in rehab.

13:56

I'll get into my relationship.

13:59

with Sublime after we deal with your whole

14:01

life, which is he

14:04

died and he were one. What was

14:06

the household like growing up? Yeah, so

14:08

it was very mixed. Yeah, father

14:10

passed away from heroin overdose and he was 28 and I'm

14:13

28 now. So it's definitely like some interesting kind

14:15

of significant timing I would think. And I don't

14:17

want to disparage my mom or the man who

14:19

raised me, my stepfather, but I call him dad

14:21

to this day. He's been in my life since

14:23

a little kid and they're really good people and

14:25

I learned a lot from them. And I want

14:27

to start off by saying that. But when I

14:29

got sober, I didn't speak to them for years

14:31

because I was just so angry because I think

14:33

everybody's like, I disagree with my upbringing and stuff.

14:35

And I think a lot of people who are

14:37

just discovering who I am will kind of assume

14:40

like, well, as dad was a big famous musician,

14:42

he must have, there must be some degree of

14:44

nepotism. There must be some degree of him having

14:46

it easier, having all these things. And well, how

14:48

could there be nepotism? I mean, like, yeah, Sublime

14:50

had the chance of being

14:52

the biggest, you know, biggest reggae bass band

14:55

in America and the history of America, definitely

14:57

the best one. And they

14:59

were on the brink of ridiculous

15:01

fame and fortune and he died. So there was

15:04

no fame and fortune. That's exactly. And people don't

15:06

realize that is that yeah, when I was when

15:08

he passed away, me and my, you know, they

15:10

were like in debt to the universe. They probably

15:12

didn't cook the advance. No, yeah, nothing like that

15:14

ever happened, man. And there was stuff that came

15:16

in later. But then as soon as it was

15:18

in, it was out again. And stuff got tied

15:20

up in court and all these locations and all

15:22

this crazy stuff. So most of my childhood was

15:24

just in a household where you know, all

15:27

of the women, old adult

15:29

women surrounding were sex workers, all of

15:31

the men surrounding friends, they were drug

15:33

dealers, anyway, in your mom and your

15:36

stepdad's house. Correct. Yeah, they basically

15:38

was a nonstop like adult party, chaotic lifestyle. And

15:40

it was a weird place for a little kid

15:42

to grow up in. I didn't feel like I

15:44

fit into all that and feel like I fit

15:47

into the California culture and or whatever it was.

15:49

And so I just constantly as

15:52

Long Beach culture in New York, too. So

15:54

I could be wrong. Is it Long Beach

15:56

culture? Oh, yeah, I call it Southern California

15:58

culture. Right. You know, all of all of that

16:00

weird sub-code, but that's like a pirate lifestyle. It's like,

16:02

oh, no money today? Well, I guess we're going to

16:04

go rob the Starbucks or something. You know what I

16:06

mean? Like it was just, and again, that's not the

16:08

implicate or to speak ill of. These are people who

16:10

were- I love how you cover your basis. Yeah, yeah.

16:12

You don't want anybody to feel sad. I'm speaking generally

16:14

because these are people who were just doing what they

16:17

knew how to do. And through

16:19

that rough and tumble lifestyle, I was taught a

16:21

lot how to be human and that not everything

16:23

should be handed to you and that you have

16:25

to go through your own experiences and people need

16:27

to do what they need to do a lot

16:29

of the times. But I only bring that up

16:31

to illustrate that that was when I

16:33

first started seeking escapism and fantasy and all this

16:35

stuff. And at a very early age,

16:37

at about 12 years old, I wanted to be part of

16:40

the adults and I wanted to interface with the lifestyle.

16:42

And when I finally found that first acceptance was by getting

16:44

high and drunk with all the friendly

16:46

folks around me. Before we

16:49

get to your first use, can you paint

16:51

a picture like your mom lost her husband,

16:53

you know, her- Exactly. You

16:55

lose your dad, you know, it's

16:58

probably so scary, so tragic

17:00

for her. Like she

17:02

doesn't get sober at that moment. Yeah,

17:04

no, correct. It must

17:06

be insane because I never knew my dad and they, you

17:09

know, I maybe would have likely a game

17:11

of catch or two to have that whole dad experience. That

17:13

could be kind of rad. But it was really much more

17:15

tragic for the people that knew the guy. I mean, here

17:17

you have, you know, a young

17:19

widowed wife in her mid 20s, you

17:22

know, all these friends and family. And

17:24

I'll even mention the fans and stuff. Yeah, my grandpa,

17:27

it was totally a traumatic experience for

17:29

everybody. So I think that in

17:32

a sense, everybody saw escapism and

17:34

fantasy and a weird

17:36

side effect of that is a lot of

17:38

people's hopes and aspirations and dreams got placed

17:40

upon to me. At what point does that

17:42

happen? From birth. Really?

17:45

Yeah, I remember getting taken to shows like House of

17:48

Blues. There was one, is

17:50

there still that one in Hollywood here? Maybe. I

17:52

think it might have been gone. And I just remember,

17:54

you know, my whole life has been like, you know,

17:56

super wasted people come out to me and be like,

17:58

dude, dude, you're. It's like

18:00

your dad. Yeah, it's like and

18:02

it's like you're the prince chosen.

18:05

Yeah, very Lion King kind of

18:10

To use that in it for the longest time I

18:12

just wanted to chill with Simone and Pumbaa and not

18:14

take hold of that I wanted to eat those deliciously

18:16

looking animated bugs and just kick it and be a

18:18

big ol, you know, just Chilling

18:21

in the jungle all day, but eventually you

18:23

have to kind of accept responsibility for what's

18:25

happening I wouldn't be here without my father

18:27

quite literally a biologically But I also wouldn't

18:29

be doing music had I not had the

18:31

impetus to be pushed into it because it's

18:33

this family business and because They created this

18:35

beautiful thing and it was taken away prematurely

18:37

I do find a lot of it is

18:39

a duty and a responsibility of mine to

18:42

Ensure that the brand is still healthy and alive and

18:44

ensure that the fans can hear my uncle's but an

18:46

Eric who are sublime I'm not sublime. I got put

18:48

into this. I just got thrust into

18:50

it, but my uncle's who brought the music with my late

18:53

father They're the ones who deserve to be playing it for

18:55

as big as audiences And and and I'm just a conduit

18:57

to help bring that all together right now. I Appreciate

19:00

it and before I want to go down

19:02

your path of drugs and addiction

19:04

and dumb shit But I want to say like

19:06

I've heard you I've heard your band and it's

19:09

great and I've heard you play with Sublime

19:12

and you sound incredible and I

19:14

also hear you talk about it

19:16

and I hear this responsibility Some

19:19

pain right? Yeah, heavy-duty

19:21

fucking burden stuff. Yeah, I just want

19:23

to make it clear To

19:26

you as a fan that when I hear

19:28

you sing the songs It

19:31

makes me feel good Yeah, I

19:33

can I and I know it

19:36

makes a shit ton of people feel

19:38

great So try to

19:40

take that in that like you

19:42

get to do this great thing

19:45

like and yes I heard

19:47

you say on the Rolling Stone interview

19:49

many times that you're a custodian of

19:51

the music But it's like I'm

19:53

a sublime fan. I'm a Beatles fan

19:55

like I'm a fan of lots of

19:58

I'm a rock and roll fan and like when

20:00

someone is gone. All I ever

20:02

wanted was like Julian Lennon to play with the

20:04

Beatles and sing harmonies

20:07

with Paul McCartney so I could have

20:09

the closest version of the Beatles. And

20:11

I never thought about like what burden that

20:14

is on poor Julian Lennon. You know

20:16

what I mean? And here you're in a

20:18

very similar situation. You have this gift

20:21

to sing. Your dad had

20:23

an incredible gift to sing. You

20:26

have a gift of singing and

20:28

you can sound pretty close just

20:30

like Julian sounded along John. And

20:33

I feel the pain of it. And

20:35

I want to offer you like,

20:38

I mean who the fuck am I? No

20:40

I appreciate that. I do take solace in that because

20:42

for me the singing, playing guitar, I don't know if

20:44

I would have ever done that had it not been

20:46

the family bit. I always say like if your dad

20:48

runs a car dealership you end up working a car

20:50

dealership. Like it definitely seemed like I'm like a

20:52

water person. My dad was a flying teacher and I ended up becoming

20:54

a heroin addict. I don't know how that works. My

20:57

dad was an addict and I ended up

21:00

becoming an addict. What I really, the juice

21:02

for me is the entertaining aspect of it.

21:04

It's the storytelling and presenting

21:07

a story that people can interface that hopefully it will

21:09

help them through their journeys. Just like the work that

21:11

you do and you know all those nice people and

21:13

their testimonials of helping them through. Every time a fan

21:15

comes up to me and just says that my dad's

21:18

music helped them through and my portrayal of the music

21:20

is continuing to help them through then that

21:22

is all I seek to do with this. If people

21:25

are digging it and I don't think

21:27

the last performance we did wasn't bad. We just kind

21:29

of ran up there and did. It was very punk

21:31

rock. Sublime has always been punk rock and messy if

21:33

anybody's seen the old shows. I take my gig very

21:35

seriously. I want to be super well rehearsed. I want

21:37

to be as good as we can possibly be in

21:39

a vacuum and then I want that to all just

21:41

explode into chaos on stage and just make it real

21:43

and genuine. Not phone anything in. I don't try

21:46

to sound like them. I just want to give

21:48

a good show to the people who are interested in hearing

21:50

it and if it makes them happy then that's the bonus.

21:52

I'm not trying to sound like him. No

21:54

man. That's the craziest thing. There's been times

21:56

that I oscillate. I'm like you know I

22:00

I'm still learning all the music and I just go through it.

22:02

I'm like, okay, how would I do it like this? There's a

22:04

voice crack here, he does this bluesy thing here. And

22:06

I realize it's just kind of a hopeless battle. Like

22:08

I have to, I think it's more important that I

22:11

enjoy it so people can see up there that

22:13

it's fun and I'm having a good time and

22:15

I'm just jamming with my uncles. And then I

22:17

think there's times when I'm not thinking about it

22:19

that his voice kind of just comes through naturally.

22:22

And that's what's cool for people, I

22:24

think. When you were a kid, before

22:26

you ever, I mean, even after you got high for

22:28

the first time, were Bud and

22:30

Eric in the home at all? No,

22:33

I only saw my hand full of times growing up. You weren't

22:35

like Uncle Bud, Uncle Eric, none of that. I mean, I did

22:37

call them that growing up though. Out of

22:39

respect. It's just the way, yeah, my mom's Indonesian

22:41

so everybody's auntie and uncle, like any friend that

22:43

would come around. I'll probably

22:45

call you uncle after this. No, I take

22:48

that proudly. Everybody's family, you know, but because

22:50

they're my dad's best friends and so close,

22:52

I mean, I always call them, and to

22:54

this day I do, you know, it's just,

22:56

I feel like, I always say that,

22:58

you know, addiction is a family disease, and then, you

23:00

know, rock and roll is a family addiction. For

23:03

sure. So we got this whole family

23:05

weird Long Beach posse, then we just want to

23:07

bring it all together and share it with everybody.

23:09

And I think it's gonna be fun. Is

23:12

it fun for you to play in the band?

23:14

It's horrifying. Right?

23:17

And it's awesome and fun and all that stuff too. And

23:19

what musician wouldn't want to, you know, be

23:21

put in this really revered, big,

23:24

successful project that people want to see and get to

23:26

go play big shows. I

23:29

treat it like a gig, so if I think about

23:31

it objectively, that's a huge opportunity. And I've been grinding

23:33

and playing basement shows and bars and sleeping on floors

23:35

for the last 10 years. I'm still

23:37

doing that with Jacob's Castle, by the way, and

23:39

I love it. I love traveling. But this is

23:41

gonna be the great break for Jacob's Castle. I'm

23:44

really hoping that it offers some exposure to my

23:46

music, and my music's very different, but it's a

23:48

different take on Southern California beach music. It's

23:50

very alternative, it's very heavily influenced by

23:52

internet subculture. Catchy as fuck. Oh, thank you,

23:55

I like pop music. I like alternative pop stuff. It's

23:57

a lot of pop feeling, but it's also got a

23:59

really unique. sound. But your voice is the

24:01

same. Yeah, a lot of people point that

24:03

out. I don't mean your voice is the

24:05

same as your dad. I mean your voice

24:07

when you do Sublime, it's the same voice

24:09

as you do with Jacob's Castle, which is

24:12

similar to your dad's, but that's because he's

24:14

your dad. Yeah, you know. And I think

24:16

that's where like I got offered this gig,

24:18

so all I can do, I would rather

24:20

learn the songs and just sing all

24:22

the notes good. I would rather

24:24

just make sure I'm in key. It's an

24:26

exercise and perform it. Exactly right. And so

24:28

if I change up words or change up

24:30

melodies, as long as I'm doing it in

24:33

a way that is fun and genuine and

24:35

exuberant, then not everybody's gonna like it. Everyone's

24:37

gonna, there are people who like it doesn't

24:39

sound like that on the record. Well, live

24:41

Sublime rarely sounded like it on the record,

24:43

and my dad never even got a chance

24:45

to perform all the their final self-titled albums

24:48

songs. So it's kind of

24:50

just open season right now. We're just having fun

24:52

with it. Well, I'm glad that you can have

24:54

fun with it because I can feel that it's

24:56

fucking, it's a mixed bag.

24:59

A pleasure to pay. It's exactly what

25:01

it is, man. And it's up

25:03

and down and bipolar and it changes with the seasons,

25:05

but I think at the core of it, I try

25:07

to just ride with that story element

25:09

and like that it's just fascinating that I get

25:12

to be a part. I'm almost like an observer

25:14

of this whole weird thing. I feel like an

25:16

alien outsider into this stuff, and I just want

25:18

to honor the traditions of my people. And then

25:21

when I have, when I squirt out some kids, someday

25:23

it'll be their fucking problem. They think it's hard being

25:25

a second son. Imagine being a third or a fourth,

25:27

so they're gonna make the third, you know? Right? It's

25:29

a thing. Now, when you're

25:31

12 or 13 and you're

25:33

like, what's the first way you

25:35

get out of your head? I mean, I'm sure you

25:37

got out of your head with fantasy before booze or

25:40

weed. What was your, what was the first go-to to

25:42

get out of your head? Oh, dude, I'll

25:44

never forget it, man. I was

25:46

like five or six and the whole

25:48

life was very weird. It was just

25:51

a weird party. It looked like it's a

25:53

fun video. Yeah, exactly. It was even

25:55

more extreme and just sexual and strange. Not a good

25:57

place for a kid to grow up, but I was

26:00

I was sitting on the playground, I must have been

26:02

five or six at Case Seshes Elementary in San Diego,

26:04

and there was a bunch of kids and they were

26:06

all huddled around and they were like shuffling around stuff

26:08

with their hands and I'm like, what is that? And

26:10

they had these little fucking cardboard rectangles. And

26:12

I'm like, these are Yu-Gi-Oh cars, dude. And I'm like,

26:14

what the hell is that? And there's the crazy Japanese

26:16

art of demons and stuff on it. And I'm like,

26:19

and I think that was my first time I got like, hi.

26:21

I was like, I need that. And

26:24

then, you know, it was a card game or

26:26

a video game or a television show or music

26:29

that I would get into later, movies, anything that

26:31

could just take me out

26:33

and make me think, oh,

26:35

I didn't know other people felt this way or

26:37

thought like this. If I could find like little

26:39

evidence, a dialogue line in a TV show or

26:41

a reference to a thing in a song, I

26:43

would be like, no way, there's other people out

26:45

there like that. And I felt so isolated in

26:47

my own world and so different from everybody in

26:49

my surroundings that once

26:52

I found those little evidences, it

26:54

was really reassuring. How fucked up was the

26:56

home life? Like what kind of sexual stuff

26:58

was going on? Again, I don't really want

27:00

to implicate anybody and it is deeply personal,

27:02

but like, I think like, this is

27:04

a very personal job. Yeah, yeah. No,

27:07

I mean, um, you know, like, uh, drug

27:09

fueled naked sex parties in the living room, like

27:12

opening the door with like my backpack on my

27:14

shoulder and there's like, you know, crazy talent. Yeah.

27:17

And there's always this element of dudes being like, oh,

27:19

sweet. Like you were like a teenage boy and there's

27:21

like adult women coming on to you. And it's like,

27:23

no, that's not cool at all. Like as a little kid,

27:25

you know, I, I, I started watching porn when

27:27

I was like six years old, you know what I mean? It's

27:30

a hyper sexualization to a young kid who

27:32

should just be experiencing innocence. Like it's

27:35

fucked up. Yeah. Yeah. It's

27:37

tremendous. It definitely screws with me in my adult

27:39

life. You know, it's not cool for, um, any adults

27:41

to do that too, to, uh, kids

27:44

like that. It's just, but then again,

27:46

these were just all ghetto, you know, white trash people

27:48

who weren't thinking any better thinking like that. You know,

27:50

here, here I was. And that,

27:53

that stuff was around, but I was more interfacing

27:55

with it as a teenager. And then by

27:57

that point, you know, this kid's drinking and fucked

27:59

up like everybody. else so you just kind

28:01

of slide into the mix of everything. There was

28:03

violence too and just insane

28:06

like a you know, fights

28:09

in the house. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.

28:11

And was your first drug weed or

28:14

booze or something else? Yeah, I definitely

28:17

was given like little beers here and there. My first

28:19

sip of beer I remember I was a very little

28:21

kid I was like six or something. I remember thinking

28:23

it's tasted so terrible and I couldn't imagine why adults

28:25

would drink it. The first time like I enjoyed a

28:28

drug experience for real I was 12 years old and

28:30

I was smoking a joint with

28:32

my parents and I

28:34

remember I really enjoyed it and I just kind

28:36

of like leaned back like that and then my

28:38

dad was like my step back when I say

28:40

my dad it's confusing. I used the guy who

28:43

raced you. Yeah, yeah, he was like man boy

28:45

you look like fucking Bill Clinton over there right

28:47

now. I was like do I? And I was

28:50

and I just immediately was off to the races and I

28:52

felt like a sense of purpose.

28:54

I felt like there was a great quest and a journey ahead of me.

28:56

In fact, the only reason I got

28:58

into my head I wanted to do music because

29:01

I figured it would be the best way to

29:03

get loaded as much possible with as few as

29:05

consequences. And there was no path

29:07

in place though. They're like oh hey Jacob

29:10

you're the son of a guy who made

29:12

music. Here have a record deal, have a

29:14

tour, have all of these

29:16

nice things. Were there sometimes the odd promoter who

29:19

was a fan who took a chance on us

29:21

and gave us 250 bucks? Yeah, maybe

29:23

that happened a handful of times. For law you mean?

29:25

Yeah, for my very first band. But no, for the

29:27

most of it it was us trying to set up

29:29

our own tours, doing everything we could to not be

29:32

associated with Sublime, trying so hard to do our own

29:34

thing. You know it took

29:36

me 10 years to get my first

29:38

deal manager. All this stuff didn't happen

29:40

until way later down the line as

29:42

a result of me making connections through

29:44

the music that I played. I feel

29:47

like I saw some kind of

29:49

documentary with Todd Zalkins and

29:51

that your use did get to

29:53

a place where your grandfather was

29:55

really concerned and people really had

29:57

to intervene. Yeah, yeah dude. How did

29:59

it escalate like what was your your high

30:01

school life totally so yeah high school yeah

30:05

so I got pretty fucked up immediately I would

30:07

just take whatever what was around I

30:09

think my favorite you know weed was the main thing

30:11

as a kid so that's what the great like lie

30:13

I told myself I loved yeah it's like I loved

30:15

it I was like that like a weed guy and

30:18

I would be like I don't even really like drinking screw

30:20

drinking but there I was more or less

30:22

insanely drunk all the goddamn time and

30:24

when I'm like that I'm like give me whatever you got

30:26

so you know pills you

30:29

know downers opioids and then uppers

30:32

I really liked Adderall medication

30:34

and then eventually like speed speed was

30:37

really cool were you like diagnosed ADD

30:39

or they just yeah I got ADHD

30:41

if you believe doctors don't take your

30:44

meds did were they prescribing

30:46

you Adderall or were you just I

30:48

had a crooked psychiatrist I could even

30:50

I even got prescribed meth a

30:53

desoxan is the brand name the prescribe

30:55

it for extreme ADHD cases and obesity

30:57

you look at I was a real thing and I had to work

30:59

my way up I took this is that

31:01

and I was like yo dog I was reading

31:04

about this one brand it really worked for one

31:06

of my friends and he just yeah yeah D

31:08

D soaks I don't know what the active ingredient

31:10

could possibly be and I certainly won't be snorting

31:12

it in my nose how old were you this

31:15

was 17 to 19 now was that

31:17

that what I mainly first got strung out

31:19

on with was speed either you know street

31:21

meth that I was snorting it I don't

31:23

I didn't smoke it but I'm or the

31:25

medication that I got in shoot it no

31:27

no yeah not yet now

31:31

you're you come from tragedy

31:34

you know a horrible drug-based tragedy

31:36

yeah at what point are you

31:38

like fucking with this

31:40

thing that killed my dad yeah

31:43

it was a really weird moment because

31:45

so I your parents fucking give you the

31:47

joint like let's get high yeah and

31:49

they'll they'll deny that and study again I want to because

31:51

I don't care at the end of it I love them

31:53

today we have a great relationship and I would be get

31:55

clear I don't think they could they should

31:57

have done anything differently I like that I

31:59

had those experiences, called Stockholm syndrome

32:01

or whatever. But my dad, your life, yeah,

32:03

so it's like you might as well have

32:05

it. Yeah, with it because you can't change

32:08

it. My dad had a philosophy that if

32:10

he was going to do something, how could

32:12

he hide it or not

32:14

allow his kids to do the same thing. And not

32:16

everyone might agree with that parenting style, but I still

32:18

agree with that to this very day. I just

32:21

do. I I think that

32:23

there's different risks that are associated with that,

32:25

but at the very least I always knew

32:27

that my dad and my mom are real motherfuckers. And

32:31

I'll never forget that. But at 17 I got kicked

32:33

out of high school for fighting. So they're

32:36

like, well, boy, you better start working. Started

32:38

working at a bagel shop. I'm getting even more strung out.

32:40

It's not working. And me and my local

32:43

kid that I grew up with, who was like my brother,

32:45

I call him and consider my brother. We were like, we're

32:47

gonna start a band. We're gonna move out of San Diego

32:49

up to Long Beach because I spent my summers in Long

32:51

Beach where my grandparents are. My grandparents are

32:53

gonna help us out and they know a guy who can

32:55

get us a studio apartment. And we're gonna get jobs at

32:57

a hardware store. Were you spending the summers in the room

32:59

that your dad had? Was it like that?

33:02

Yeah, maybe. I think I slept on their

33:04

couch a lot. But yeah,

33:06

the house he grew up in, sure. Because

33:08

I saw some YouTube doc on either your

33:11

dad or Sublime where in

33:13

your grandparents, are they still alive? Yeah, yeah.

33:15

They're very in it and like obviously

33:18

they were devastated by your father's

33:20

death and they believed in your

33:22

dad's talent and loved him so

33:24

much. And I saw how much

33:26

they loved you. And like when

33:28

you showed up and you're getting high,

33:30

because I mean you're getting high at

33:33

12. Oh yeah. Did they notice? Oh

33:35

yeah, that bummed them out. They were

33:37

like, dude, we're super bummed on you

33:39

right now, Jake. They were devastated. Oh

33:41

my god,

33:45

yeah. My grandpa would just teary-eyed. He's like,

33:47

I'm not losing another kid. I ain't

33:49

go- I'm- if you go, I'm going with

33:51

you. Like, gee, thanks, Grabo. That's not a

33:53

lot of pressure here. Gee whiz. You know

33:55

the way we deal with pressure? All life

33:57

is just a pressure. Constantly. Oh dude, constantly.

34:01

But at the same time, you can't... You gotta rise to the

34:03

occasion, that's what you're doing. I think so.

34:05

I think you gotta embody who you... You

34:07

don't have to. You could run away, start

34:09

a farm, but I don't really know much

34:11

about farming. You're a music farmer. So

34:13

you get kicked out of school, you and your buddy

34:15

are like, fuck it, we're moving too long. And I

34:18

moved out at 17, yeah. Dropped out junior year. Never

34:21

got a high school equivalency or diploma, but I do

34:23

have a college degree now, because I went to local

34:25

community colleges, they're like, do you have an equivalency or

34:27

degree? I'm like, sure, I got one of those. They're

34:29

like, well, you better sign up for classes, but be

34:31

sure to send that in. And I took classes and

34:33

transferred to state, and it turns out high school was

34:35

a complete waste of time. So

34:38

you made it, you got your degree without having to

34:40

get the high school equivalency. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow. What

34:42

did you major in in college? A creative writing.

34:46

Nice. For the focus in mythology

34:48

and television writing. So tell us...

34:50

No, I wanted to be a

34:52

television writer, and I wanted to be a television

34:54

producer. I was a television

34:56

producer, and then I became a heroin addict.

35:00

That's what happened to me. And then I

35:02

basically disappeared for 15 years, and I

35:05

got sober when I was 41, right? I'm 49 now. Oh,

35:09

dude, no kidding. What's that? So you got eight

35:11

years sober? I got eight. Coming up on eight?

35:14

Coming up on nine. Coming up on nine. There we

35:16

go. I didn't do math in college. You didn't go

35:18

to high school. I didn't go to high school. So

35:20

what are some of the fucking worst... Talk

35:23

about the descent into addiction, please. Yeah,

35:26

so... I'm interrupting. No,

35:28

no, this is fun. I'm very... Like I said, I got ADHD, so...

35:31

If you believe those kooky doctors. It

35:35

got bad really quick, man. Here I am, a

35:37

teenager, living in a studio apartment, and it's

35:40

just horrible and dilapidated, and there's things living

35:42

under our beds. It's just there's mold growing,

35:44

and we just... It's just you had to

35:46

wade through the trash, get through it. I

35:49

got very strung out on speed. I got the stripper

35:51

girlfriend who was like twice my age. Now it's kind

35:54

of part and parcel of the growing up in that situation. Yeah,

35:57

I think I was very used to that.

36:00

The you are what eighteen and she was

36:02

thirty six knows when I'm quite twice my

36:04

age is Mike twenty eight? Still, that's very

36:06

exciting than a process, I guess. What does

36:08

seem normal? We just. The. Itinerary think about

36:10

of the time I was so that could buy

36:12

beer. How old were you when you started playing

36:14

guitar like well ah my my grandpa Tommy to

36:16

play guitar and I was twelve and then I

36:18

had a very close friend high schools and was

36:20

Taylor teach me to the fundamentals of my out

36:23

of like play my instrument. When. You're learning

36:25

from your grandpa. Is. Is

36:27

he like trying to show you sublime

36:29

songs? Know nothing like that. He showed

36:31

me how to play La Bomba! Nice.

36:34

And then to show me how to make a bar

36:36

cord me was like your training is complete. You can play

36:38

every song with his barre chord. Know is like really

36:40

wow. And it did. You start playing

36:42

songs as the I started learning Queens of

36:44

Stone Age songs as I did you start

36:47

writing. Immediately as soon as I

36:49

saw Pretty Girl middle school of course

36:51

that's I roll my for song called

36:53

the Middle School Pretty Girl hygrometer thought

36:55

it was like you don't notice me

36:57

like I'm a chameleon is as real

36:59

enemy ai has a son is like

37:01

sizes. As innocent as if you don't

37:03

see me, I'm a chameleon. The. Movies

37:06

like the classic like Geeta is deed as

37:09

a minor see progress it of is is

37:11

horribly prince and that but I was so

37:13

sweetness and as you never did notice meets

37:15

their am in our class and i finally

37:17

to work at work first a walk observed

37:19

sucks all up and I'm like i searched

37:21

at a Metallic ursula his a like Metallic

37:23

us to use a metallic of what's your

37:25

favorite album that I know any Metallic us

37:28

i was like oh they're just they're also

37:30

says that albums instead of to affect your

37:32

foot and poser get away from me and

37:34

I would have special kid. Talking with yes.

37:36

right? Well it it's that went well. It

37:39

was. It was great. Album.

37:41

And how much was your dad's legend

37:43

fuckin' in your face? Or well, honorable

37:45

dude like there's been like a breeze

37:47

and full a moments when I can

37:50

just forget. about all that and

37:52

just be a regular person but it

37:54

always ends up finding it's way likely

37:56

that kids are come up to me

37:59

and i was a horrible outcome at

38:01

ostracized internet-addicted, terminally online nerd in

38:04

the era before when that was even a thing. So

38:07

there I am, just like, oh, this horrible

38:09

freak of nature. And then all of

38:11

a sudden people come up to me, the upper echelons

38:13

of the higher society kids would be like, we heard

38:15

that your dad was so-and-so. Come on and hang out

38:17

with us. And I'm like, okay. And then they're like,

38:20

oh, you have no social skills. Go

38:23

away. They started throwing apples

38:25

at me. They started pouring this hot

38:27

tar on me and put chicken feathers

38:29

on me and chased me out of

38:31

Ireland's middle school. It's a terrible, terrible

38:33

expectation. It's because people think, oh, his

38:35

dad is this cool thing. And I grew up in

38:37

California. So they're like, oh, these young

38:39

kids are surfing and skating. And they're like, this

38:41

is the guy's son? This guy must be awesome.

38:43

And I'm like, actually, I enjoy watching a

38:46

Japanese anime looking at

38:48

pornography. And they're like,

38:50

and doing drugs. And they're like,

38:53

oh, you're weird. Well, you

38:55

had a real issue,

38:57

which was that you were expected to be your

38:59

dad. You never knew your dad. And you didn't

39:01

have your dad's love. And that's

39:03

a fucking huge weight. It's a horrible weight

39:06

to have. And it seems

39:08

like a perfect incubator

39:10

for drug addiction. It exactly

39:12

was. Because that's when I found my... Towards

39:15

the end of high school, people stopped fucking with

39:17

me and much because I started selling drugs at

39:19

school. And that's what I was selling. Only

39:21

weed because my family had 100 plants upstairs. And

39:24

my uncle would give me the clones

39:26

to grow in the backyard. Your sister's... Sorry,

39:29

your mother's brother or your father's...

39:31

Oh, no, not my brother. Just some guy. Just

39:34

some guy that you called uncle? Yeah, right. But

39:36

he was very much my uncle. And

39:39

does that become your identity? Totally.

39:42

Because then I'm like, OK, I can interface

39:44

with anybody who... Because it used

39:46

to be like, OK, if you're an online internet

39:48

weird niche interest nerd person, I interface with you.

39:50

And that's hard to find. Those are the aliens

39:52

I'm talking about that I had to find the

39:54

frequency. I never really found them. But

39:56

once you get into... Super nerd weirdo style. Yeah, once

39:59

you get into... then it's like,

40:01

okay, now I can hang out with the festival

40:03

kids or even the theater kids or I can

40:05

hang out, everybody loves drugs, we're human beings, it's

40:07

our favorite thing. But I think those, you know,

40:09

strange internet weirdos who also really enjoy partying and

40:11

doing drugs and who are my

40:13

people all along, even though I, where are you out there? If

40:15

you look at the Jacob's Castle, hit me up. I'm

40:18

a much older person than

40:20

you, but I'm a nerd and a

40:22

weirdo, and I needed to do drugs

40:24

to shut off the thing in my

40:27

head that made me terrified. The thing

40:29

in my head that made me worry,

40:32

you know, that's why I did it and like,

40:34

and it made me feel less of a weirdo

40:36

because I wasn't as worried. Did you find that

40:38

to be the thing? Oh, 100%. Like

40:41

I said, I was horrible at talking to people and

40:43

I had terrible social skills, so when I was on

40:45

and I was all lit up, I

40:48

could just generate this fake charisma, the kind of

40:50

fake charisma that I'm able to generate now as

40:52

a sober guy, but it's

40:55

all an act because I'm an entertainer,

40:57

but it just, it brought it out of me so

40:59

effortlessly until it stopped

41:01

working, until you're some raving lunatic who's been up for

41:03

a week and you're like filming at

41:05

the mouth, trying to tell a life story to the

41:08

chick working at Vons, you know, it's just not a

41:10

good look. And like, at

41:12

that point, what does speed do

41:14

for you versus pills versus weed?

41:17

Oh yeah, the whole drug story thing. So yeah,

41:20

I get so strung out mainly on the pills

41:22

and stuff and I try to get sober at

41:24

like 19 to get everyone off my back. I

41:27

sit in the rooms of AA for 18 months, but

41:31

I'm taking dirty chips, I have little secret slip ups here

41:33

and there, but they were only isolated

41:35

incidents, so that told me like, see, I've got my drug use

41:37

under control, I only get high like once every couple months, I'm

41:39

good. And then life gets hard,

41:42

my band law starts picking up steam and I don't get

41:44

along with my band mates at all because we're kids and

41:46

we all are in it for the wrong reasons. And

41:50

I'm always constantly implying to them, I'm like, gosh, I wish I

41:52

could drink right now. And they're like, well then

41:54

why don't you? I'm like, dude, I'm an alcoholic, I can't drink, I

41:56

understand it's not gonna go good. And they're like, it's a

41:58

big deal. I'm like, okay. I'll show

42:00

you and very immediately the

42:03

first night I drank again it was like just

42:05

an insane crazy they're like what the hell's going

42:07

on with Jake this is a totally different guy

42:10

and I was off to the rate I don't

42:12

even think I lasted like nine months out there

42:14

but it was what had taken me down this

42:17

time my favorite number one drug of choice I've

42:19

fallen in love with is definitely alcohol it's the

42:21

best it's the oldest to me

42:23

it just makes sense my personality and you know

42:25

I'll do some blow and fucking pop some fucking

42:27

you know do some speed while I'm drunk and

42:29

then to come down you I

42:31

take some opiates and stuff but I just

42:34

love drinking so much it's just

42:36

a very primal thing and I can't handle it

42:38

at all I love it way too much because

42:40

I'm like oh yeah I'm gonna be like functional

42:42

and then I have like one drink I'm like

42:44

why would I want to function I want to

42:46

be fucking seeing double of the television screen and

42:48

not being able to focus my eyes and

42:51

so that didn't last very well I had horrible health

42:53

problems very quickly I'm 21 years old and I'm like

42:55

throwing up blood and I'm like I'm not gonna drink

42:57

today and I have a seizure and I'm like I

42:59

guess I have to drink today and forever now I'm

43:01

fucked like well I want to

43:03

kill myself down because I botched life so trying

43:06

to kill myself fucking taking too much

43:08

Xanax and stuff and my fucking

43:10

wake up to my little sister trying to resuscitate

43:12

me and say it was just insanity what

43:15

was the situation with your sister trying to

43:17

resuscitate you oh yeah well I remember I'm

43:19

sitting up there in my grandparents house and

43:21

we're watching Dragon Ball Z because mom

43:24

my little brothers and sisters are a lot like kind of like

43:26

my best friends because we all I

43:29

guess you grew up in that

43:31

horrible situation yeah and somehow it

43:33

all equates to liking nerdy weird

43:35

interests escape yeah how much younger

43:37

are they than you yeah my

43:39

sister so it okay there's

43:42

six of us there's me and then and when

43:45

I say step or half I don't they're

43:47

they're all my brother and sister these are

43:49

family they're blood blood as

43:51

much as that counts so there's

43:53

me and and there's Eileen and then

43:55

there's my brother junior and there's my

43:58

sister Erica and then there Mary

44:00

Jane and then Rudy. How big a house

44:02

was it? The lineup of the sitcom would

44:04

switch a lot because my dad would get

44:06

all crazy being like, you're conspiring against me

44:08

and then Erika had to move out when

44:10

she's 15 now she's in Hawaii. I moved

44:13

out of 17. Eileen was with

44:16

her pimp or something. It

44:18

was just kind of craziness and man

44:21

I love that those people so fucking

44:23

much. They're just the best people.

44:25

They really are. So as your, you know,

44:27

when did you show up to AA for

44:29

the first time? I go to AA. Me

44:32

too. I was 19 and it's 7 a.m. it's at the Marina Pacifica

44:36

when I was told to go. So I was

44:38

in a blackout while I was strung out and

44:40

I think it was actually Todd Zalkin

44:42

who took my first meeting. That's the truth. And

44:45

it was 7 a.m. and it

44:47

was horrible. There's like a hundred people in this big

44:49

room and they're all smiling and drinking coffee. They were

44:52

like, how you doing? Keep coming back one day at

44:54

a time. I'm like, what the fuck

44:56

is going on at 7 a.m. right now? Don't you understand? We're

44:58

all gonna die. We have a horrible disease. And

45:00

it was a good nerdy vibe that you were

45:03

probably like, hmm, maybe I'm home. Yeah, in a

45:05

big way what happened was I don't remember very

45:07

little of what was said there but

45:09

I do remember that some people were

45:11

telling stories and I was like, huh, you

45:13

had to go through that too or like you remember

45:15

doing that too? All these little things where they

45:17

were like laughing at this insane stuff but like,

45:19

yeah, then my dad tied me in the family

45:21

up and fucking held us up with a fucking

45:24

knife and all I did was want to fucking... and

45:26

I was like, that happened to you too? I

45:28

thought that was the only guy that happened to me. And

45:31

it just... it made the

45:33

trauma seem less traumatic and it was again like

45:35

that weak signal coming from the alien. I felt

45:37

like I had found some aliens that were of

45:39

a similar stock to my

45:42

own. But you're young. You're fucking 19

45:44

years old. Yeah. And you're not sold.

45:46

No, I'm not sold. I'm not sold.

45:48

I still really wanted to do it.

45:50

I wasn't done. And after my

45:52

relapse, like I said, alcohol took me down

45:55

and in the middle of a blackout, I there's

45:59

that story with me and my little sister, you know,

46:01

watching Dragon Ball Z and I

46:03

look at her and I look at the TV

46:06

and I powder on the head. I'm like, here,

46:08

I'm here with my family. I'm fucking completely fucked

46:10

up. I'm like, it's probably about as good as

46:12

life gets. So I remember I took

46:15

all the Xanax I had. It was something like 20,

46:17

25 pills. I'm like, that ought to do it. And

46:19

I'm already wasted. And I sit there and I think

46:22

I went to the bathroom and ended up throwing

46:24

up because I was so nauseous. Luckily I did

46:26

because I think I flushed it all out of

46:28

my system and my sister's trying to shake me

46:30

awake and the sun's rising and stuff. And

46:33

I still didn't get sober

46:35

for a while after that and more failed attempts

46:37

of my own life. And then, um, in a

46:39

blackout, other kind of attempts, you

46:41

know, any, anything that I could

46:43

and contemplate, you know, I never

46:45

could pull the trigger, so to

46:47

speak, but trying to overdose, you know, and I

46:49

guess that sort of thing. I think other people

46:51

have much harder struggles with that, but I mean,

46:54

suicidal ideations are part of my story. So it

46:56

does come up. Well, it's, it's, it's

46:58

very painful obviously because you talk

47:00

about it and it's what

47:02

took your dad. Yeah. And it's like, and I, and

47:05

for a moment you were like, why can't it take

47:07

me? Yeah, exactly. And, and

47:09

I would have been so fucked up. Like imagine,

47:12

geez, like just my four grandparents and it was

47:14

not the story arc. It was not the correct

47:16

story arc. Did you, were you like, I don't

47:18

want to do this. This is what

47:20

I'm destined for. Meaning no, not in that moment.

47:23

What happened was it was in a blackout and

47:25

someone bet me, they're like, Jake, you're the fucking

47:27

biggest sloppy is goddamn drunk. I know. And can

47:29

we swear on the show? I've been swearing a

47:31

lot. No, there's no cursing left. No cursing. Okay.

47:34

Every other word I say is that I know. Um,

47:37

yeah. So they bet me that I couldn't get

47:39

sober because I was such a goddamn drunk and I

47:41

was like, I'll show you. And I called someone I

47:44

met in sobriety and then I was

47:46

in a week long blackout and

47:48

I woke up at a nice table and

47:50

a domesticated household eating domesticated food and

47:52

I'm looking around at all these people and I'm like, where

47:55

am I? Like, dude, you're in a

47:57

detox. You've been here like three days. these

48:00

horrible delirium tremens and they take

48:02

a bunch of gabapen and

48:05

I remember thinking when I woke up in that place the

48:07

thing that had changed there that kept me sober for the

48:10

first few years was that I didn't want

48:12

to die. I was just really afraid of dying. It was

48:15

just a weird paradox because there were times I wanted to kill

48:17

myself. But thinking you

48:19

want to die and actually killing

48:21

yourself or it's a big distance between the two I

48:23

think. Yeah and then an early sobriety was stubbornness. You

48:25

get surrounded, if you do the treatment thing you're surrounded

48:27

by all of these you know what

48:30

is it institutions and programs and people

48:32

and phrases and I thought it's something

48:34

I wanted to beat. I'm like I'm

48:36

gonna show you I'm gonna be the

48:38

most you know I'm gonna

48:41

be the most amicable alcoholic

48:43

and they're like all right we'll make your

48:45

bed. I'm like what no that's insane and

48:48

they're like okay we'll go to this many meetings. What no

48:50

that's okay we'll get a spot I can't do any of

48:52

this is insanity and they're like well you said you wanted

48:54

to do this contrary action bro and I guess I

48:57

just kept doing that till I found the right sponsor and

49:00

I talked to him every day and

49:03

now I just took seven years. It's incredible

49:05

and when you're a kid everyone's

49:08

trying to tell you that you can

49:11

be your father basically or be

49:13

like you can be the savior

49:15

of the family or whatever. Yeah

49:18

pretty much. And then when you're

49:20

dying they say don't be your

49:22

father. Hey that's actually a really good

49:24

insight. I never thought of that. I think

49:26

I'm gonna drink again. I

49:29

wish I had that that would have been a great

49:31

little reason of antagonism but no all

49:33

I was thinking I guess there was that pressure. Didn't

49:35

they come at you and say this is how your

49:37

father died we don't care. We lose you.

49:39

We don't want to lose you the

49:41

same way. Are you making fun of me? That's a

49:43

good insight. No no I'm actually serious that was actually

49:45

really that that is I mean it

49:47

is highly hypocritical like a lot of people are

49:50

like go into this role go into this role

49:52

but don't go into the parts of the role

49:54

that we don't like. Right. That is I completely

49:56

agree with that I never thought of that I'm gonna

49:59

be thinking about that all day now thanks a lot.

50:01

I'm sorry. But you also like, it's like they

50:04

had, you can't be him. You know

50:06

what I mean? And that's what I'm

50:08

not. Of course not. And that's why

50:10

this gig is probably,

50:12

I mean, I saw

50:14

videos of you, you know, when you

50:16

were probably 20 years old playing pool shark, you

50:18

know? Yeah, dude. And I was really not good.

50:20

And in fact, I don't think you're not good.

50:23

I think you were good. Thank you, man. I

50:25

know I'm a good performer and singer now. And

50:27

I'm very proud. And I can say that because

50:29

I've rehearsed a lot. You put the work in.

50:31

And there will be performances that people see. They're

50:33

like, Oh, well, at least he's not singing half

50:35

bad here. I don't know if it's going

50:37

to be exactly everyone's taste, but that's another

50:40

matter entirely. But it's a to speak on

50:42

that subject, though. It is supremely

50:44

weird, that the constant comparison

50:47

and I remember in that at my lowest

50:49

at this last bottom, I was just horribly

50:52

my trip is always I'm such a

50:54

fuckup. So I guess maybe it does

50:56

come from that. I'm not even thinking about then those bottoms.

50:58

I'm just thinking, man, I've wasted all

51:00

of this potential. Whatever. Explain that

51:02

to me a little bit more, please. Well, I

51:04

felt like I was a relatively bright lad. I

51:07

think you still are relatively bright. Yeah, I

51:09

think the the alcohol and drugs even me

51:11

out. I don't you don't want to be

51:13

too bright. Those people are assholes. Right. You

51:18

got to get even out a little bit to become

51:20

a scientist in this world. They should force you to

51:22

go on a fucking year long drug bender. And

51:24

if you survive, you're then you're in.

51:26

Yeah. So what are you saying, though?

51:29

I totally forgot. No, no. Yeah, I

51:31

remember I at my lowest, it

51:33

was just purely like, I'm

51:35

a fuckup. I could have

51:37

had all these opportunities because I was relatively bright. And

51:39

you know what I mean? I if only I had

51:41

the gumption, if only I had the drive, if only

51:43

I had the ambition, but I don't

51:45

particularly like doing things. I like chilling with Timon and

51:47

Boomba and eating big fat animated bugs. I

51:50

don't want to do anything ever. If I if

51:53

I wasn't in this line of work, I would

51:55

be a traveling hobo on a boxcar. I

51:57

think that sounds really killer. I really get down

51:59

with that. I mean touring

52:01

as a musician is basically like being a homeless person

52:03

that they pay you to show up to places So

52:06

it's like the ideal job for me, but you

52:08

also actually love music. Yeah, it's alright Course

52:12

I love all our you know it's I love

52:14

anything that kind of connect with people and inspire

52:16

others I love that and it's a way out

52:18

of pain It's a way out of pain and

52:20

it's a way out of it's a gift that

52:22

you have that you can give to people and

52:24

get them Yeah, which

52:27

is like the ultimate thing we learn a

52:29

12-step that the only way out the only way

52:31

the only real Remedy is to

52:33

be of service and the second year of

52:36

the second year of service You're

52:38

out of your misery because it's not you

52:40

anymore. It's it's them. Yeah, it's like that

52:43

old Egyptian Proverb or whatever, you

52:45

know, how do you know when your sufferings over? It's

52:47

when everyone else's has ceased, you know and

52:50

That is truly been the solution for me and then

52:52

that that's been the underlying thread through this that if

52:54

I can My dad's music he explored

52:56

his addiction in his lyrics so much and it

52:58

has helped a lot of people Through

53:01

their own addictions or some people told me that

53:03

his music was a significant enough deterrent where they

53:05

were like they started smoking weed And drinking and

53:07

then they're like, you know what? I don't want

53:09

to progress any further because this music condition that

53:12

I respect a lot helped me to See

53:15

that that's not the path for me. And if Because

53:18

I am now a sober

53:20

guy and have similar experiences

53:22

like that I feel like

53:24

that that's the beautiful part of me getting to join

53:26

my dad's band is if it can help people get

53:28

through their hard Times and it was worth it for

53:30

it's worth the discomfort. It's worth the relative Screwed

53:33

the all constant incest and scrutiny about who

53:35

I am and my character might like this

53:38

Always being compared to this other person. Whatever

53:40

that doesn't matter to me anymore if I

53:43

can genuinely synthesize What

53:45

I was my nature versus my nurture or the

53:47

shit that I am on the inside versus my

53:49

external shit that I was born into and

53:51

I could just be Myself through doing that and

53:54

do both Sublime and Jacobs castle and whatever projects

53:56

come into the future then I'm

53:58

a lucky lucky dude to be alive

54:01

and be sober and to be sharing

54:03

that with folks. Well, the opportunity comes

54:05

from the sobriety. If you

54:07

didn't have the sobriety, this opportunity

54:09

might fucking destroy you. Oh, I

54:11

was horrible when I was on

54:14

stage. I can't do this drunk. In

54:17

fact, I actually, I wanted to make a point of this

54:19

at some point in the podcast to anybody out there. Getting

54:21

sober as a young dude, you'd think, I'll never have fun again. Dude,

54:24

I have had so much more fun than

54:26

I ever had, and not just like sober

54:29

fun, like we're going to go mini-y'all thing

54:31

and go bowling. I mean like flipping over

54:33

tables and setting shit on fire and crazy.

54:35

Real fun fun. Like insane stuff and without

54:38

an urge or a desire to get

54:40

loaded. Like I literally like I'll wake up and be

54:42

like, wait a minute, at that party five days you

54:44

could go there was cocaine. I could have relapsed. I

54:47

just see it and I don't feel that connection

54:50

in that same way. That element of

54:52

fun has lost the magic. It just seems like an

54:55

accessory to it now. And that could

54:57

all go away. I could be sitting in a road

54:59

stop cafe and be like, I could put whiskey and

55:01

milk. Like you know, it happened. But if I ever

55:03

put whiskey and milk, I had it just like a

55:06

weird combo. You did? No, I never

55:08

did. Okay. Yeah. I

55:10

know in the book. Yeah. It

55:13

can't be a real thing, right? Tell me

55:16

about Bailey's. Tell me about your early, early

55:18

years in recovery and how you avoid. When

55:20

did you stop having an urge to

55:23

use? Oh man. It

55:25

definitely takes a long time and

55:27

it's consistency too. Because now like,

55:31

you know, if I'm being of service talking to my sponsor

55:33

going to enough meetings and I don't feel the need to

55:35

and I can stop in an instant. But I

55:37

mean, in the beginning, I mean, it must have

55:39

been like this for you too. Remember, you just

55:41

feel uncomfortable constantly. For like years, you're just skin

55:43

is crawling. Totally.

55:45

And I get all bummed out and mopey

55:47

and shitty. Like there I am in a

55:50

sober living and there's like one crispy cream donut left and

55:52

I'm cooking my meal and I'm like so excited. And

55:54

ready to put it on my plate and then some dude's late for work.

55:57

I was like, oh, sweet. There's a donut left and he eats it. And

55:59

I just start fucking like. like attacking him. What

56:01

the fuck is wrong with you? That was my

56:03

Krispy Kreme donut. It belonged to me. And that

56:05

was like the biggest moment in

56:07

my first year of sobri- No,

56:10

my big, real big moment. Like, dude, early sobriety year

56:12

one, I can't find my car

56:14

keys or my wallet drops in the side seat

56:16

of my car. And I'm literally about to drive

56:18

my car off the road and kill me and

56:21

people in my car. Like that, I'm yelling at

56:23

the top of my lungs saying that's what I'm

56:25

going to do. Crazy anger. Insanity. Like it

56:28

really, drugs are really not good to do. Well,

56:30

especially if you're a drug addict. I

56:33

think I've heard you say on another podcast

56:35

that if you're not a drug addict, enjoy

56:37

your drugs. I have

56:39

the best fucking time. I'm

56:42

a firm advocate of everything.

56:44

Everybody enjoy, indulge, worship, bakus,

56:46

have an amazing setter

56:48

nalia. How does your

56:51

family deal with your recovery? Cause

56:54

it sounds like your family like- Oh, they're stoked

56:56

now, dude. So my grandpa

56:58

was always just tripping out on me. And it was

57:00

always like Jacob, you know, is a slacker and wasted

57:02

potential and he's a fuck up and he can't get

57:05

shit done. It's my perception,

57:07

that's what everyone felt of me. It's still assumed

57:09

that I can't get to places on time, which bums

57:11

me out, but I'll take that one on the chin

57:13

and not take it personally. Just try

57:15

to get places earlier, you know? And I'm not

57:17

talking about here, cause today I was- Oh, no,

57:19

no, yeah. But I got here exactly the same

57:22

moment you did. Yeah. But it's so funny cause

57:24

like to my perception now in day-to-day life, and

57:27

this is a great exam, I'm sure you've experienced it in other things.

57:29

You can do it 99% of the time,

57:31

be there, be reliable. And

57:34

what's really hard in early sobriety is the one time you

57:36

fuck up and miss it. And they're like, that's fucking drug

57:38

addict. Yeah, they'll just go like, well, of course Jake did

57:40

that. I'm like, but dude, for a whole year, I was

57:42

the first person here to practice or I was there for

57:45

every birthday. You guys don't remember that, but they've

57:47

been traumatized. So fuck it, I take it on the nose

57:49

and I'm get there when I get there now. It's all

57:51

about rebuilding trust. It

57:54

is about rebuilding trust. And that's what

57:56

you're doing as a kid, right? pressure

58:01

of this whole son of

58:03

shit. Also, Sublime

58:06

becomes Long Beach Dub All-Stars. And

58:08

they're like, that's not working for

58:10

them. So they decide to tour

58:12

with that singer, Rome. And

58:15

who? You know, that singer

58:17

named Rome. And yeah, there's

58:19

a singer named Rome and he toured

58:21

with part of Sublime and other parts

58:23

of Sublime left. And it

58:26

didn't work and everybody was probably... I

58:28

mean, I know I was

58:30

such a fan of Sublime that I would check

58:32

out Sublime with Rome and I saw the videos

58:34

of you even when you're fucking 19. Dude, Eric

58:36

was killing it. Eric's amazing at the bass. I'm

58:38

not great at seeing him. And I'm not like...

58:40

I'm just saying it didn't sound like Sublime. And

58:42

I was like, well, why can't they get that

58:44

kid in there? And how many fucking people... Oh,

58:47

ever since I was... ever since I picked up a

58:49

guitar, people were like, well, come

58:51

on, Jakey. And I just said... I just told myself

58:53

I'd never do that. Really? I said

58:56

I'd never do that. You said you'd never do

58:58

it. Yeah, not unless I was 50 and broke.

59:00

Was there a part of you? Was there any

59:02

piece of you that said in your head, forget

59:04

to anybody else, I wish

59:06

I could do it. Or was it always... Like,

59:09

what is that? Have you ever done any

59:11

stripping? No. Only fans? Not

59:14

yet. There's an element

59:16

of feeling like... Nobody wants to see this.

59:18

I figured nobody would want to see this

59:21

on the stage with the band. I mean,

59:23

because there's an element of like, okay, you

59:25

might get opportunities. You felt it was perverse.

59:28

You might get opportunities, you might get money,

59:30

you might get the adulation

59:32

and love and

59:34

acceptance, but you're gonna have to somewhat denigrate

59:36

yourself. And you feel like you deserve it.

59:38

A long time ago, my Uncle Miguel, who

59:40

used to play with Sublime, he told me

59:42

that, you know, Jake, you could be up

59:45

there with the fucking Santa hat on,

59:47

singing Christmas carols, and there'd still be some fans

59:49

going like, he's keeping the dream alive, brother! It's...

59:53

What Does that mean, though? There's like these... What was

59:55

Miguel putting on you in that situation? Well, what he

59:57

was saying, and he wasn't putting me down in any

59:59

way. It was just saying that

1:00:02

it's hard to distinguish yourself

1:00:04

when there's always going to

1:00:06

be in unstoppable. Force. There's

1:00:08

gonna be always some contingency of people who

1:00:10

no matter what are just going to see

1:00:12

you as the next coming over there dude

1:00:14

or he's not as good as Bradley Yellow

1:00:16

any trying to be here as and was

1:00:18

a more sometimes people do your own guy.

1:00:21

men don't worry about it. it's like it

1:00:23

is so big it's so weird and odd

1:00:25

and also I want to sell like a

1:00:27

spoiled little city t they are like I

1:00:29

saw the biggest the on the planet lost

1:00:31

a lot people have a way fucking where

1:00:33

it's not the worst thing ever. like a

1:00:36

lot enough fucked up situations. You've

1:00:38

given us little pieces of the puzzle

1:00:40

here. Didn't grow up in the sublime

1:00:42

Fucking Manson. Fucking announcer was never a

1:00:44

sublime it said since there's no the

1:00:46

i'm a bit don't even get it

1:00:48

was like a people put this on

1:00:51

you say that wasn't the case. That's

1:00:53

exactly true. It's just it's

1:00:55

been a screw it a girl at all. Like I said, Middle.

1:00:57

School people who I've never met coming up to me

1:00:59

being as you probably figure the ship as your dad

1:01:02

and like my who are like oh. So.

1:01:04

That. It is. it's

1:01:06

is. Or. As always followed

1:01:08

me around so I said I'd never get

1:01:10

up there on stage because I there's you

1:01:12

have to sacrifice a party or sell. So

1:01:14

instead of looking at it like that. I.

1:01:17

Have to look at it like being at this

1:01:19

to. I have to create my own fantasy and

1:01:21

my own stories and my own arc to interface

1:01:24

with. and I have to make it my own.

1:01:26

I. Can't one hundred percent put on my

1:01:29

i'm not gonna you know, get a beer

1:01:31

belly and put on the seeds and such.

1:01:33

I can just pretend to be someone I'm

1:01:35

not, but at the same time I can't

1:01:37

fully ignore the fact that that is my

1:01:39

father. He's the reason that I'm here in.

1:01:41

He created amazing music that people deserve to

1:01:43

here. So if I look at under that

1:01:45

lighting. And. I'm I'm still able

1:01:47

to have my outlet of my solo

1:01:49

projects acres Castle than it really beats

1:01:51

working at the hardware store. Is there

1:01:53

any chance? bought an aeroplane? Huge hims?

1:01:55

ever? I'm sure yes. i mean

1:01:57

that seems like an opportunity to may be awesome seems

1:02:00

like an opportunity. I might bring it up to them someday.

1:02:02

We know we want to get these songs down first, but

1:02:04

it would be awesome if they'd be down to throw in

1:02:06

some castle songs into the mix and show

1:02:09

people that's sort of like what I consider to be

1:02:11

like the next step for beach music

1:02:13

in Southern California. But it's also something people

1:02:15

won't dig. Who knows? I'm gonna knock on wood. I

1:02:19

think people could dig it and I think

1:02:21

that it's an opportunity that they have to

1:02:23

have you with them. When

1:02:25

I got came out, I mean was it 1994

1:02:27

or something like that? Yeah, I

1:02:35

don't know. That was off self-titled. So it would have been after he passed,

1:02:37

so 96. Okay, I think

1:02:39

it's on self-titled. I don't remember. I don't

1:02:41

know. I just know that that was the

1:02:43

first single of Sublime that I heard and

1:02:45

I was like, this is fucking catchy. Who

1:02:47

are these guys? I played in reggae and

1:02:49

Scott bands in New York

1:02:51

and I was like, this is fucking

1:02:54

catchy. And then I

1:02:56

kind of started doing a lot of

1:02:58

drugs and I started smoking cigarettes and

1:03:00

I smoked weed every day and I always

1:03:03

said Sublime in the back of my head, but

1:03:05

I never was really into it because New

1:03:07

York City people tend to

1:03:09

not get into Southern California stuff. Whatever.

1:03:13

Anyway, I wound up becoming a

1:03:15

horrible heroin addict and I moved to Florida to

1:03:17

go to detox and somebody left

1:03:20

a copy of Standby Your Van in

1:03:22

the room that I moved into and

1:03:25

I listened to it and I like blown away. You

1:03:28

know what I mean? And then I heard

1:03:30

Pool Shark and I was a fucking heroin

1:03:32

addict. Perfect. And just every little bit of

1:03:34

your dad's junky stuff

1:03:37

resonated with me as a heroin addict. And

1:03:40

you have to, you don't have to. You've

1:03:42

been drawn to Pool Shark since you were a kid. Is

1:03:45

it the pain of it? What draws you

1:03:47

to that song? It's

1:03:50

genuine quality. That it

1:03:53

sounds just not phoned in in any way and

1:03:56

it's really well-written. There's lots of local

1:03:58

color. There's lots of... there's

1:04:01

a super fine line of writing between

1:04:03

being too weirdly poetic and nebulous to

1:04:05

where it could mean anything. Then versus you

1:04:07

know just saying something plainly in a

1:04:09

way that is uninteresting. And he has

1:04:11

this middle ground line where he could

1:04:13

say something that clearly comes off

1:04:16

like it's like a personal term between him and

1:04:18

his friends when he says you know shoot and

1:04:20

pull. You immediately that's probably

1:04:22

something he came up with that

1:04:24

but it just immediately you're there

1:04:26

doing it with him and and

1:04:28

seeing what it's

1:04:30

like. And then there's that just classic

1:04:33

line the way that the song is structured and

1:04:35

then it builds up to the cherry on top

1:04:37

and it's like one day I'm gonna lose the

1:04:39

war. And that's what being an addict feels like.

1:04:41

It feels like there's constantly this fucking monster

1:04:44

chasing you. There's a ghost that's haunting you

1:04:46

and it'll never stop there and you're either

1:04:48

gonna die a sober person or you're gonna

1:04:50

get fucking loaded again and you don't have

1:04:52

any other option. And

1:04:55

as a sober person surrender is

1:04:59

losing the war but coming

1:05:01

out alive. It's a

1:05:03

whole other form of losing the

1:05:05

war. Surrender. Do you know

1:05:07

if your dad ever tried 12-step at all?

1:05:09

Yeah he did try to get sober. There's

1:05:11

a great story about that. I mean he

1:05:13

would be in rehabs and he'd fucking hop

1:05:15

the wall. Was that the plastic bed? Maybe

1:05:19

actually. Sounds about right. Well

1:05:21

there was a time when he's hopping the wall

1:05:23

in the rehabs and there's a time that my

1:05:25

poor grandparents travel the way down to Mexico to

1:05:27

get all his detox drugs and they try to

1:05:29

detox him in their house. And

1:05:31

he's just trying to run away and she's like

1:05:33

chasing him down the stairs and they're just like

1:05:35

holding him. So they fought tooth and

1:05:38

nail to keep their kid on this earth. They're the

1:05:40

best parents around. Really they're my

1:05:42

true real parents you know Jim

1:05:44

and Janie and all. And then another funny story sees

1:05:46

in rehab and my mom takes him out on a

1:05:48

past for a Saturday to go to the movies. You

1:05:51

know as one does in rehab. So they go to

1:05:53

the local cinema and they're just like let's just see

1:05:55

what's playing. You know it's the 90s so they're like

1:05:57

oh this is movies really hot right now. It's called

1:05:59

Pulp Fiction. I never heard didn't know anything about it.

1:06:01

Oh my god. When I told that story to Normies,

1:06:03

they were like, yeah, so then what? That

1:06:06

movie might have been why I

1:06:08

became a heroine. It's so depressing.

1:06:11

How pathetic am I to have that story in

1:06:13

me? Dude, he gets to the scene with the

1:06:15

graphic and the pullback and he just starts sweating

1:06:18

and apparently my mom said he just stood up

1:06:20

and started screaming and ran the fuck out of

1:06:22

me. Terrible. He struggled

1:06:25

with sobriety and trying to get this thing, man.

1:06:27

Before he relapsed, a

1:06:30

lot of his friends said he just wanted to see Troy

1:06:33

and his kid, my mom and his kid, me.

1:06:35

He was just so excited. My mom said he

1:06:37

was on the phone that night. She was

1:06:39

on the phone with him that night, called from

1:06:41

the venue and he's very 90 on

1:06:44

the fucking rotary line and

1:06:46

she said she could immediately tell he was high, but

1:06:48

she didn't want to get on his ass about it. He

1:06:51

was just all lovey dovey and like, I just love you

1:06:53

so much and just can't wait to see you. He was

1:06:55

singing some song to her or whatever.

1:06:57

There was a song on the radio that was

1:07:00

hot at the time and they

1:07:02

just had this. They really loved each other a lot.

1:07:04

They really loved each other and then

1:07:06

boom, just gone. It's

1:07:09

just crazy. Yeah, it is. It is. But

1:07:11

you're here and you're young

1:07:14

and you're healthy and you're talented and you

1:07:16

can do whatever you want and

1:07:18

use this as a fucking...

1:07:20

Your dad didn't leave you a lot of money.

1:07:23

It's an old world thing

1:07:25

to get a legacy from

1:07:28

your dad to make your life.

1:07:30

It doesn't make you less. It's

1:07:32

your birthright. I

1:07:35

know you get into Lord of the Rings type

1:07:37

shit. It's funny because I was just about to

1:07:39

go there to tie this thing all

1:07:42

back together. In the beginning when I said I was

1:07:44

always looking for that little weak

1:07:46

signal or that thread or that evidence that

1:07:48

there were other people that had similar experiences,

1:07:50

the biggest place I found that in was in literature

1:07:52

and that's why I studied it in college and was

1:07:55

obsessed all throughout my upbringing. It

1:07:57

is a classic mythological story. of

1:08:00

the sun returning and

1:08:02

claiming the throne. And

1:08:05

again, it sounds really douchey like I'm up my own ass.

1:08:07

I wanna make it clear, I don't think I'm anybody special.

1:08:10

AA has humbled me, I am surrendered, I

1:08:12

am a worker among workers and I'm happy

1:08:14

to be here. But to get through and

1:08:16

as a defense mechanism, a coping mechanism for

1:08:19

my trauma, I look towards

1:08:21

literature and I see that this is a

1:08:23

classic story, a coming of age thing that

1:08:25

people have been experiencing since the dawn of

1:08:27

time and it helps

1:08:29

me have and find the courage

1:08:31

to take up the sword, take up my

1:08:34

dad's guitar, get up there in the battlefield

1:08:36

on the stage of Coachella and

1:08:39

assume the throne, very metal,

1:08:41

very fucking metal. Is

1:08:44

there any chance Gwen Stefani comes out and does

1:08:46

I Saw Red with you? I hope so. Can

1:08:48

you make that happen? Yeah, why are you gonna

1:08:50

make it happen? I have talked about doing it

1:08:52

before. Really? So there hasn't been, because

1:08:54

no doubt's reforming for that show. That's what I had

1:08:57

to do. I have to do it. I think it's

1:08:59

gotta happen. We haven't talked about it yet, so I

1:09:01

can't confirm it, but dude, I'm

1:09:03

gonna, if we don't confirm beforehand, I'm gonna

1:09:05

charge her giant stage

1:09:08

tent, her cool star wagon. I'm being

1:09:10

in the room like, Auntie Gwen, come

1:09:12

on! Come on, we're about to hit

1:09:14

the stage, I just saw Red, bro. Have you dealt with her

1:09:16

before? I used to see

1:09:18

her a lot as a little kid. And what

1:09:20

capacity? Well, you know, we come to shows and

1:09:22

stuff or she'd come and say hi and like

1:09:24

hang out backstage and she was always so sweet

1:09:26

and nice and I saw her

1:09:29

beach life again recently and she was busy, she

1:09:31

was getting ready for a show or whatever, but,

1:09:33

so we haven't really connected in my adulthood yet,

1:09:35

but I mean, I'm sure she's still just as

1:09:37

cool as ever. I'm sure she's still probably just

1:09:39

Jenny from the block, right? When

1:09:41

I was, I

1:09:43

don't know, 25 or something, I

1:09:45

was producing a music show and

1:09:48

I was on heroin and Long

1:09:50

Beach Dub All Stars was playing Warped Tour

1:09:53

and I went out to interview Bud and Eric,

1:09:56

high as fuck. And I think they were

1:09:58

also high as fuck. Oh, I... I'm sure

1:10:01

how are they doing? They're doing awesome,

1:10:03

man They haven't connected in

1:10:05

years and that still be

1:10:07

our thing got weird and and Roman his manager

1:10:09

didn't want Eric in the band No more. It's

1:10:12

like which is Eric's band. He's the last thing

1:10:14

making you guys seem legitimate at all everybody You're

1:10:16

profiting off of the tragedy of my fucking family

1:10:18

and I'm tired of being Politically

1:10:20

correct about my thoughts towards them make no mistake These

1:10:23

are people profiting off of a family's tragedy people had

1:10:25

nothing to do with sublime in any way I remember

1:10:27

them to think that they have any ownership or any

1:10:29

right or anything like that You know, you should be

1:10:31

lucky that they're in our good graces enough that we're

1:10:34

allowing them to finish out this last year It is

1:10:36

only bud and Eric who deserve to be up

1:10:39

there But dude playing sublime songs and this time

1:10:41

and now they're stoked answer quite they are happy

1:10:43

They're going out and hanging out together. We're having

1:10:45

fun and smiling at the party I was out

1:10:47

last night was Eric's birthday party was rad and

1:10:52

It just feels like a family thing and that's how

1:10:54

what I've realized we got to keep this a

1:10:56

family thing I'm gonna say something that you're not gonna want

1:10:58

to hear please Remember resentment is

1:11:00

the number one offender pray for Rome. Yeah

1:11:02

fucking yeah, you are right this motherfucker dude I'll

1:11:05

let it get away from you know, I'm

1:11:07

hearing you talk and I heard you do other

1:11:09

interviews Yeah, I won't let this thing get

1:11:11

away from you because it's gonna go right

1:11:13

back in your fucking face That is very

1:11:16

very true. I say that with Thank

1:11:19

you. That's what that's the deal

1:11:21

loving compassion is our fucking code what's funny

1:11:23

is that my sponsors said the same thing

1:11:25

and Love you Johnny

1:11:27

and um what I've done what I

1:11:30

do when I first start praying for people cuz you're like

1:11:32

what no I don't like this prayer. I don't want to

1:11:34

pray for them and to be clear I don't dislike this

1:11:36

dude at all. He was just some kid who got an

1:11:38

awesome opportunity like he personally I don't hate even the manager.

1:11:40

I don't I don't hate any of them personally It's

1:11:43

just a situation they find themselves in a different perspectives

1:11:45

But when I do pray for them to try to

1:11:47

avoid resentment, I pray like I hope he gets to

1:11:49

go on an awesome ski resort

1:11:52

vacation and never come back and Always

1:11:56

start with that. I'm like I lost on the mountain. I

1:11:58

hope he can't find his car keys and they find them

1:12:00

quickly. You just start with like

1:12:02

nice little simple prayers. Bottom line

1:12:04

is like you get to

1:12:06

play in this band for better and for

1:12:08

worse. It's gonna

1:12:10

be the closest to Blytheam sounded like Sublime

1:12:13

since then and as

1:12:16

a Sublime fan I'm really excited about

1:12:18

it. Me too man. And I'm sorry

1:12:20

that there's any fucking bad

1:12:22

time to it but you're gonna work

1:12:24

through it. I believe in it.

1:12:27

What makes me feel okay about it and what dissolves

1:12:29

my anxiety is being with

1:12:32

Bud and Eric and my

1:12:34

manager Kevin and my other manager Joe both

1:12:37

of whom you know Joe was in the

1:12:40

Vandals and Kevin SRH like put on shows

1:12:42

in the back in the day. They're all

1:12:44

friends who know each other. My uncle Miguel and

1:12:46

all the everybody else involved having

1:12:48

their acceptance and having

1:12:50

them be stoked and having fun

1:12:52

with all those guys and just making it a fun thing. That's

1:12:54

what a all the

1:12:57

fans and all of the scrutiny and all of

1:12:59

the anxiety and the imposter syndrome melts away and

1:13:01

all of a sudden I'm just getting to play

1:13:03

some really cool songs with some people that I

1:13:05

like to be around. Well maybe they

1:13:07

were my people along. I'm gonna ask a

1:13:09

really stupid question that's kind of probably gonna

1:13:12

be painful and disrespectful so brace yourself. Okay

1:13:16

you good? In rock and

1:13:18

roll right there's junky icons like

1:13:20

Lou Reed or Kurt Cobain or

1:13:22

whatever. Lil Peep. Lil Yachty. I

1:13:24

don't know if it's Lil Yachty one. I don't know

1:13:26

who he is. Me neither. What

1:13:28

I need to know is like I don't in

1:13:31

my mind, Brad was

1:13:33

a junky icon in my mind

1:13:35

but I don't think he is

1:13:37

a tragic icon. He didn't become

1:13:40

a junky icon in that way. Do

1:13:42

you think about this at all or is

1:13:44

this a dumb fucking question? I don't think it's dumb at all.

1:13:47

I think it's very interesting to look at how

1:13:50

over time audiences attitudes

1:13:52

have changed towards drug use

1:13:54

in their favorite musicians, in

1:13:57

their iconic musicians, in their

1:13:59

deified musicians. How

1:14:01

many times you heard people being like, dude, Jimi Hendrix would

1:14:03

dip his headband in acid. Right, right, right, right, right. So

1:14:05

now we're in the cool phase. Like, oh, and then we

1:14:07

get to like, let's say Ozzy Osbourne. He

1:14:10

was all fucked up and drinking beer and biting

1:14:12

hands. Yeah, exactly. And then you keep on going

1:14:14

further. And now we get to the 90s and like, a little

1:14:16

bit more sad. You got Lane Staley and you got

1:14:18

my dad and you got Kurt Cobain. And

1:14:21

then you get, that's why I mentioned a little bit more modern people.

1:14:23

And now you get to, oh God, they're dying at like 20. And

1:14:26

if you look at alternative culture,

1:14:28

like all such a big thing. The

1:14:31

same kids who were the hippies and the same

1:14:33

kids who were, you know, in the dark clubs

1:14:35

in the 90s. Sub culture kids. Sub culture kids.

1:14:38

They're not like, they have

1:14:40

this like dark irony about them. Like, you know, the whole

1:14:42

like, oh, I wish I was dead right now or I'll

1:14:44

just kill me. But when

1:14:46

they see their favorite musicians, it's not

1:14:48

necessarily like a celebrated thing anymore. They

1:14:51

see these people as a tragic thing,

1:14:53

knowing you can die off of one fucking hit

1:14:55

from blow. And that's not to say there

1:14:57

aren't still people having a blast out there and partying. I think they

1:14:59

should, but I think it's a perfect

1:15:01

time for awareness to increase in a way that

1:15:03

isn't square. That isn't, it used to be it

1:15:05

was square at all to moderate and you should

1:15:07

go out in a big blaze of glory and

1:15:09

die at 27. Well, now

1:15:11

they're dying. It's more like 17. So we

1:15:14

start to see maybe

1:15:17

audiences maturing over time with how

1:15:20

they're consuming and interfacing

1:15:22

with their deified iconic artists. And

1:15:24

I'm hoping that I can

1:15:26

spread awareness with my father's image

1:15:28

and get to portray myself as a

1:15:31

sober musician who can still have a big,

1:15:33

crazy, fun, awesome time. A hundred percent, man.

1:15:35

That's a beautiful thing you said. And I'm

1:15:37

so glad you could come over today. This

1:15:39

is rad, dude. We got deep, dude. You

1:15:41

think this was awesome. We really, I made

1:15:43

me think some shit I had never thought.

1:15:45

Well, that's so amazing. What can I do

1:15:47

for real? For real. I hope you

1:15:50

come to New York. We'll do it again. Please.

1:15:52

I would love to do it again. And remember, check out Jacob's

1:15:54

Castle. That's J A K O P S Castle. California's only O

1:15:56

P L's Castle. That is Jacob with a K Castle with a

1:15:58

C all the way from your city. Long Beach

1:16:00

City and we got a new album coming

1:16:02

out April 12th Resorch

1:16:05

Ochela. I'll make a deal with you I

1:16:08

think maybe it's the deal you're not gonna want to

1:16:10

do when you have time

1:16:12

right do a minute tune a minute

1:16:14

dopey theme song I'll put it

1:16:16

at the front of the show and I'll plug

1:16:18

the fuck out of your record, dude Yeah, you

1:16:21

want to just like write a little jingle. Yeah,

1:16:23

I'll go home and do that right now killer.

1:16:25

Thank you Jacob I really appreciate it. I'm you

1:16:27

rock for you fucking give yourself a break and

1:16:29

have a gun wielding the fucking sword, right?

1:16:32

Yes, thank you. It is an honor All

1:16:38

right, that was Jacob Knoll he

1:16:41

did not send in the

1:16:43

one-minute jingle yet I

1:16:45

have faith one day we will hear

1:16:47

a one-minute dopey

1:16:49

jingle from Jacob Knoll I

1:16:52

really enjoyed having him on the show I would

1:16:54

love to hear your opinion of

1:16:57

Jacob Knoll send in an email

1:16:59

or a voicemail to dopey [email protected]

1:17:03

All right. I mean, I think that's the end

1:17:05

of our Tuesday show. I'm gonna play Because

1:17:08

listen my plan

1:17:10

was to have Jacob come

1:17:13

to Jeremy's house With his

1:17:15

guitar and like I

1:17:17

was gonna teach him some songs He

1:17:20

was gonna play some Jacob Castle

1:17:22

songs some sublime songs, but

1:17:24

that didn't happen So

1:17:27

instead I'm gonna leave you guys

1:17:29

with a version I found of

1:17:31

Jacob doing pool shark, which

1:17:34

is a classic Junkie

1:17:36

anthem sublime song that Jacob's

1:17:38

dad Bradley Knoll wrote check

1:17:40

out Jacob's castle Check out

1:17:42

sublime Jacob is gonna be

1:17:44

playing with sublime a bunch

1:17:47

this year At Coachella

1:17:49

and and a bunch of other spots

1:17:52

So thank you for tuning in to

1:17:54

the Tuesday episode stay strong dopey nation

1:17:56

and fucking Toodles for

1:17:58

Chris I

1:18:11

am in love with sickness,

1:18:13

it is hardly words

1:18:16

that could mean it. My

1:18:20

baby loves to

1:18:23

shake, I

1:18:25

like my naked in my

1:18:27

bed, I am a

1:18:29

dinosaur tonight. I

1:18:37

can't shake, I can't bleed, I

1:18:39

can't bleed on the dead and

1:18:41

the poor. One

1:18:44

day I'm gonna lose

1:18:47

a word, but I am still

1:18:50

in love with

1:18:55

sickness, I am still in love with sickness,

1:18:58

I can't bleed, I can't bleed,

1:19:01

I'm still in love with sickness,

1:19:04

I like my naked in my bed,

1:19:07

I am a dinosaur tonight, and I used

1:19:10

to think that I

1:19:12

am a dinosaur. I can't shake,

1:19:14

I can't breathe, I can't bleed,

1:19:18

I can't bleed, I can't bleed, I can't bleed, One

1:19:25

day I'm gonna lose

1:19:27

a word, What's

1:19:31

up Dave and Chris, my name is

1:19:33

Jake, I'm 25 years old from West

1:19:35

Virginia. I just found Dopey

1:19:37

that two weeks ago and it's my favorite

1:19:39

podcast of all time. Five y'all are hilarious

1:19:43

and it's just

1:19:45

gotten me through some really hard times. Though

1:19:48

I'm not clean myself, it gives me

1:19:50

a lot of hope for the future.

1:19:54

I really like Dave's song and

1:19:56

I'm gonna do a little cover of it here

1:19:58

in my banjo. okay

1:20:01

I don't mind too much I wrote a third

1:20:03

verse to myself sorry about

1:20:06

the poor quality it's just on my phone

1:20:09

sorry about the banjos things hard

1:20:11

to keep in tune yeah

1:20:31

I guess you honey

1:20:34

half a while now

1:20:36

my neighborhood I

1:20:39

want to be good so bad

1:20:44

need so good so bad

1:20:46

so bad I want to

1:20:49

be good so bad that's

1:20:52

the tires all I ever had I'll

1:20:57

take the ride up in the sky

1:21:00

while the hair's plain just passing by

1:21:04

I'll be here to let her

1:21:06

take a nap just

1:21:09

to show how much people want

1:21:11

me to be alive I'll

1:21:13

be good so bad

1:21:17

need so good so bad

1:21:19

so bad I

1:21:21

want to be good so

1:21:24

bad that's

1:21:26

the tires all I ever had in

1:21:30

the bird eye basement let's go

1:21:32

see the doggy show home

1:21:35

friends I had her on this

1:21:37

little radio check

1:21:39

it on I'm healthy cause it feels like I

1:21:41

might die but the

1:21:43

top strain isn't up there so much

1:21:45

better when you're high I'm

1:21:49

gonna be good so

1:21:51

bad I'm

1:21:53

gonna be so good so bad

1:21:56

so bad I'm gonna be good

1:21:58

so bad I hope

1:22:26

you all hear this.