0:17

Hello and welcome to Dopey, the podcast

0:19

on drugs, addiction and dumb shit. You

0:21

hear my fucking chair? Oh,

0:24

the creaky, the creaky chair is such a

0:26

fucking piece of shit that even when I

0:29

want it to creak, it doesn't creak that's

0:31

how, and when I don't want it to

0:33

creak, it creaks. I saw an office chair

0:35

in the street the other day and I

0:38

considered, I considered bringing it home.

0:40

I don't want to buy a new office

0:43

chair because you have to put it together. And

0:45

putting together an office chair is not

0:47

as simple as it sounds. And I

0:49

put this one together, which is probably

0:51

why it creaks. And this

0:53

is not a real Dopey Tuesday

0:55

episode. This is a Dopey teaser

0:57

episode. And the idea is that

1:00

I will put the first few minutes

1:02

of this week's Dopey Tuesday. Actually,

1:04

I'm going to put I've selected

1:07

a section of this

1:09

week's Dopey Tuesday to tease you

1:11

with. It is strung out

1:13

author and elite equestrian Aaron Carr. And

1:15

in the in the bit I I've

1:18

selected, we discuss the

1:21

Netflix series, Baby Reindeer.

1:24

So everybody loves baby reindeer. So

1:26

we discuss baby reindeer a little

1:28

bit on this Dopey Tuesday, but

1:30

we also discuss some other stuff. There's

1:33

a lot of great stuff on Dopey Patreon. If

1:35

you are a Dopey listener, if you are

1:37

a member, a self-diagnosed

1:39

member of the Dopey Nation,

1:42

and you are not a Dopey

1:44

patron, you need to check check

1:46

check your motives, man. Check

1:48

them out. Like we need your support.

1:51

Five bucks a month gets you

1:53

extra episodes, tons of videos, kind

1:55

of good stuff, stickers, all sorts

1:58

of shit. Ten bucks. get you

2:00

more, I don't know, 15 bucks

2:02

gets you socks. Join the

2:04

Dopey Patreon at www.patreon.com slash

2:10

Dopey podcast. And here is me

2:12

and Aaron in the teaser.

2:14

If you want the rest, you know where you

2:16

have to go. Also, spoiler alert, if you haven't

2:18

seen baby reindeer. Give me the, oh, here. Yeah.

2:21

So I have a copy of the play.

2:23

Was it a play for it?

2:25

It was a one man show. Yeah. Play. And

2:27

that's the guy. That's the guy. So he's in

2:29

the Netflix. So it was adapted into a Netflix

2:31

series and this powerful and engaging play

2:34

portrays a man brought to

2:36

the edge by the actions of

2:38

a chance encounter, which takes a toll

2:40

on all aspects of his life.

2:43

In doing so, it asks important

2:45

questions about victims, the justice system,

2:48

and how one moment, which

2:50

is the moment though? Oh, what's

2:52

the moment when he gives her the tea can

2:56

change everything. Edinburgh

2:58

comedy award winner Richard Gad

3:00

has a chilling story to

3:02

tell about obsession, delusion, and

3:04

the terrifying ramifications of a

3:07

fleeting meeting. This

3:09

edition was published to coincide with the

3:11

premiere of baby reindeer at the Edinburgh

3:13

festival fringe in summer 2019

3:16

before transferring to Bush

3:19

theater in London. Fantastic.

3:21

So if you haven't seen it, it's about

3:24

that. It's about a

3:26

guy that's performer, like wannabe standup comedian or

3:28

aspiring standup comedian who has a stalker and

3:30

about like after like the first three episodes,

3:32

like you feel you might feel like, I

3:34

don't know if you felt this way. I

3:37

felt sort of frustrated with him because it

3:39

was like, like I got it.

3:41

Like he, she was giving him like affirmation in

3:43

a weird way, but he was also kind of

3:45

frustrating. And then episode four, you're

3:47

introduced to, I watched episode, me

3:50

and Linda watched episode one and

3:52

I got bored in the middle of it.

3:54

And I started like going on my phone because I'm addicted

3:56

to my phone and Linda's like, fuck you. If you're going

3:58

to go on your phone. I'm gonna watch

4:01

it myself and I have work to

4:03

do anyway, so she went and watched

4:05

episode two and Then

4:08

three and then I go back to her. I

4:10

said, I'm sorry Let me watch

4:12

episode three with you and she's well you

4:15

missed episode two and I was like I'll

4:17

figure it out And so I started watching

4:19

episode three and into episode four and I

4:21

was like for holy shit I

4:23

was like this is I was like I gotta I gotta get out

4:25

of here And then Linda was

4:27

like Linda only watches stuff about cults

4:31

trauma Drugs, right

4:34

like abuse and yeah show had

4:36

it all all of it one

4:38

of the best depictions I was telling Dave

4:40

before we started recording my opinion one of

4:42

the best depictions of Drug

4:44

use why it's the way because

4:47

you know how like like they'll capture something Where

4:51

you're doing like he was taking like GHB and

4:53

like did you take a lot of juice? No, you

4:55

take any no I've never made it made me look

4:57

delicious to me, but it reminded me a little bit

4:59

of ketamine. I Would love

5:02

to take GHB. Um, would you you would never

5:04

take you now? No I

5:08

wouldn't I'm not taking GHB, but that's how

5:10

fucked up I am right that I'm watching

5:12

this show where this guy is like totally

5:14

sexually Traumatized and and I'm like, oh that

5:17

looks Alex Drug

5:19

I would enjoy but it also I think what

5:22

was so good about it is that I Think

5:25

that many women can understand like

5:27

getting into a situation and then

5:29

like you don't know how

5:32

to fucking get out of it and you haven't

5:34

given your consent, but like You

5:36

just don't know how to get yourself out of the situation

5:38

and then you feel like oh Shit,

5:41

I you know like it wasn't that bad

5:44

or like oh, maybe it didn't happen like

5:46

that and start questioning yourself and He

5:49

did such a beautiful job of then showing

5:52

how that trauma Permeated

5:54

every part of his life and his

5:56

relationship and then why his like behavior

5:58

seems so annoying and weird, but it's

6:01

all come from trauma. And then even the

6:03

way he like fucks up his relationship

6:05

with Terry. And when

6:07

he says later on,

6:09

the translating, and

6:12

he, you know, he's struggling with his sexuality

6:14

and his own feelings of like shame

6:16

about what are people going to think and all of this.

6:18

And it's, it's just handled so

6:21

well, because I don't

6:23

know, he just did a really good job

6:25

of handling all of these things that could

6:27

potentially be very stigmatizing with

6:29

a lot of care. And he said something

6:32

in a conversation about him fucking up his

6:34

relationship with Terry, where he said, I

6:37

loved her, I did love her, but not as

6:39

much as I hated myself. So of course, like

6:41

every, no, no, no, what he said was,

6:43

I loved her so much, but

6:46

I hated myself more. But what I

6:48

love more than anything was hating myself.

6:51

He was addicted to the self

6:54

flagellation, which was so, which that

6:56

was stated so well. So well,

6:58

I thought I related to so much because

7:00

that was like a huge

7:03

part of like, I hated myself so

7:05

much that it was impossible for me to

7:08

ever really love somebody in a

7:10

relationship until I had Atticus because

7:12

it, I

7:15

didn't know who I was without that self

7:17

hatred. I find that

7:19

I hang out in

7:21

my little world in a place of

7:23

that a lot of the time of

7:25

self loathing. Yeah. Like, and I, and

7:28

I take comfort in it in a

7:30

way that isn't shouldn't be comfortable, isn't

7:32

good for me. It's a, it's

7:34

a rut in my head and I go

7:36

there, but I found he's,

7:39

he's basically, and again, if you want

7:41

to see the show and you haven't

7:43

seen it, I personally never

7:45

mind spoilers. If you don't want to be

7:47

spoiled and fast forward. Yeah. He

7:50

winds up meeting, it's

7:52

obvious to the stalker that

7:55

he had been hurt

7:57

in a relationship. So we find out.

8:00

out that he met a man

8:02

who was a famous TV writer,

8:04

producer, and wants to take him

8:07

under his wing and winds up

8:09

feeding him every drug under

8:11

the sun and raping him. How

8:14

is it grooming? It's raping. No,

8:16

no, no. He's grooming him before

8:19

he rapes him. So consider yourself

8:21

teased. The Dopey

8:23

Patreon Tuesday, Dopey Tuesday

8:25

is up. It

8:27

is all about baby

8:30

reindeer, a scintillating ask

8:32

Aaron about interpersonal relationships

8:34

within the Dopey Nation

8:37

and so much more. I feel

8:40

guilty making the teaser so

8:42

short. So I'm going to play a

8:44

voicemail from one of my favorite dopes.

8:47

His name is Paolo,

8:49

but we call him Lou. And

8:52

his voicemail is, it's

8:55

honestly one of the most powerful things I might

8:58

have ever heard on the show. And

9:01

it starts innocently enough as a sock

9:03

review, but it ends up in a

9:05

deeply emotional note. I

9:07

don't know what else to call it. It's very

9:09

beautiful. And this is Paolo,

9:12

aka Lou, our Brazilian who's

9:15

trapped in Germany. Hey,

9:17

Dave. It's Lou here,

9:19

the Brazilian guy lost in Germany. First,

9:22

you sent me socks. I

9:25

got them socks. I love them. So

9:27

thank you. Second, I'm

9:29

sending this as a

9:31

voicemail and as text because to

9:33

be honest, I don't know what

9:36

you prefer. I mean, not for

9:38

airtime, like for receiving. You're one

9:40

of those people that say that you read a book when

9:42

you listen to it. So I don't know whatever floats your

9:44

boat. But

9:46

yeah, about socks. Here amazing

9:49

international shipping sucks.

9:52

Sending socks to Germany was a total

9:54

mistake. It's how much it was for

9:57

you. And I'm sorry if

9:59

it's any. Comfort on top of that

10:01

I also paid so yeah

10:03

German customs text that it's a bureaucrats

10:05

trying to profit from your generosity Is

10:09

it German MC? Semitism who

10:11

knows? Anyway

10:15

Point being I just mean that you

10:18

could benefit from finding an alternative

10:20

way for shipping Is

10:22

so if there's any dopey out there involved

10:24

in international sale Sounds

10:26

so shady We could

10:29

have some kind of logistic system with dope sold

10:31

linked in a big network And a dopey mules

10:33

all over the place not in the book but

10:35

for reals there I don't know if there's better

10:38

ways in the past. I used services that

10:40

provide a Address in

10:42

the US that you can send stuff to

10:44

and they send it abroad like

10:46

ship it to dot-com I think So

10:51

yeah, I'm not you probably can people can probably

10:53

Google it, but yeah sure shipping Not

10:56

a good deal I'm I

10:59

I cannot not I can I

11:02

wouldn't send a dopey story at the moment

11:04

because I'm trying to handle my sobriety and

11:07

it's Yeah

11:10

hard, but I wanted to

11:12

say that I'm listening to dopey. I was

11:14

listening to the OP 469 It

11:19

was a great sequence with Hank Azaria

11:21

and Cormac before and then John book

11:23

ad now And he's the biggest sweetheart

11:25

and he talks of newcomers and how

11:27

clear it is that? How

11:30

much they hate themselves and how much that's what got

11:32

them there? And it just like it

11:34

made me notice how dopey became

11:38

instrumental in my life in My

11:41

therapeutic pursuits my spiritual path

11:43

whatever you call it. The

11:45

dopey is a cost-free

11:48

a Way for me

11:50

to find kind of healing along my journey

11:53

Find recovery whatever that means

11:57

Somebody I think on reddit said that they

11:59

were celebrating 16 hours sober

12:02

and of weed and even if they wouldn't stick

12:04

and you were like that's surprising but

12:07

I totally get it that having

12:09

like periods of self-imposed detox

12:11

help a lot it helped me in

12:14

the past it just keeps it kept

12:16

kept my tolerance low did you get

12:18

my use low sound simple

12:20

on paper it's not easy say

12:23

if this gets ended

12:26

up playing on air

12:29

I would just advocate for anybody to just

12:31

figure out what they're taking and how that

12:33

affects them just to understand

12:35

and then be aware it's hard to

12:38

figure out if you're using something

12:40

for being healthy for you or

12:42

if it's kind of unhealthy it's

12:45

a thin line including

12:48

prescribed stuff so it's good to have a bit

12:50

of a detox every now and then see

12:53

if you can survive with or without it

12:55

or see how it happens but

12:59

also what I why I

13:01

am writing or stumbling my

13:04

way across words

13:06

is that the way that I

13:08

handle my own shit with

13:10

or without substances is sometimes

13:13

writing and I just

13:15

noticed that a journal entry of mine of

13:19

today related to my relationship with substance

13:21

and it sounded a bit like a

13:23

manifesto like a bad beat poetry or

13:25

something and I don't

13:28

know I'm I don't I'm not an

13:31

artist but we drink from the same

13:33

waters of all the artists that created

13:35

everything that ever inspired us so

13:38

maybe something comes good every now

13:40

and then across ourselves

13:44

so yeah I would try to read it out aloud let's

13:48

see here's nothing I

13:54

do feel powerless Over

13:56

my desire to use, Over

13:58

my desire. Something

14:01

else may be satisfaction with

14:03

the now my deny your

14:06

with either my misery are

14:08

the fact that my misery

14:10

not all daddy's. I

14:13

do feel limited by my

14:16

used by my stayed, by

14:18

my condition and a baked

14:20

I was the rewarded. My

14:23

addictions were first of mind

14:25

work, homework, professional work I

14:28

became good at work. While

14:30

being bad and everything else, a

14:32

man whose to help work for

14:35

that you couldn't care less than

14:37

your friends they don't know.

14:39

Uma, it's not this. so yeah

14:42

it's seats you easier to

14:44

help yourself and I know I

14:46

know it's another burden on honored

14:48

task another box on the to

14:51

the less than I am anymore.

14:53

but it is precisely what

14:55

you can do. I'm talking

14:57

about the bugs just ahead of you with

15:00

the one you can see clearly. And

15:02

I know maybe you can see more

15:04

me be a sewer line that go

15:06

so far as you would there and

15:08

I don't care. We've looked down with

15:10

humility and maybe a bit of shame

15:12

but don't cling to. Let let's ignore

15:14

the fog. Some. Of

15:16

us are not ready to look up

15:18

and that's okay. A

15:21

lot. We keep our

15:23

eyes down as one box to

15:25

us want it just once. The

15:28

have just one break and another

15:30

and another. Not.

15:33

All walls are built to Greg

15:35

Eight. Some. Are built

15:37

to protect. To. Of is

15:40

of support or a plate

15:42

of from days and and

15:44

hasten. Ironically it though be

15:46

a thing. Ironically

15:49

not for it's is drugs and

15:51

addiction and them shit I'm friends

15:53

with all of it. The irony

15:55

is that a podcast. Is

15:58

that hearing of drugs with the. The

16:00

and dumb shit made me feel

16:02

to listen to without meat ever

16:05

saying oh quartered. I

16:10

thank you day for for

16:12

that can save ones like.

16:17

Me: no Se toward all birds,

16:19

citizen or whatever so high I

16:21

miss your cruise. Stay

16:24

strong. Nope in a son. Greetings.

16:29

And salutary should still be nation. Ah,

16:41

When they take a walk, world

16:44

kinda waited. You mean it? Like

16:47

isn't any much anything on the

16:49

walk around my neighborhood. That

16:52

he. Did

16:56

so bad. So tightly knit,

16:58

eat, so quiet and reserved

17:00

and will ever. Have

17:05

you ever want. To

17:08

see how the mere to enter either take

17:10

it one of the people tend to be

17:13

of I wouldn't be he. He

17:16

agreed to. Get mad

17:18

at me. And

17:21

desirable. I am. Smaller.

17:30

New Air I. Was

17:36

getting smaller and smaller. Moon

17:41

were wise and. Wonderful

17:46

day to pay any mind when

17:48

the city time. At

17:51

the high road from I'm a hard line has

17:53

been in lama every very very hard to find

17:56

the not one that was so. Happy.

18:00

go they should be on the road

18:02

to the top level notifications It�s

18:13

just theender I need So

18:19

I can't see anything I

18:24

think all over the world Stay

18:31

tuned, Dopey Nation, hopping toodles for

18:33

Chris And

18:36

shoutout to Scott Wick, the rap god by the way I

18:39

mean, everyone else

18:41

is great too but just you know

18:43

Just the rap god, so yeah