On this episode, we discuss taking care of your children while you have babies in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU).
Psychologist Dr Monique Robinson has some tips to help normalise the situation as much as possible.
Joanne Beedie shares her heartbreaking story of grieving for her baby boy who died inutero while watching her surviving twin fight for his life in the NICU.
And, Senior Social Worker Clare Dimer explains the pressures facing families in this situation.

Psychologist Dr Monique Robinson tells us that when you’re going through your NICU journey you will need support, however, asking for help doesn’t come easily to some people and it’s okay to feel overwhelmed and not completely in control.
The Reality of NICU
Even if you knew leading up to the birth your babies were going to come early, there can often be a sense of this isn’t what I was expecting. This is not what I signed up for, this is not what I imagined having twins would be.


Dr Robinson says it’s normal to feel overwhelmed and to accept that this is your reality for a while. And, that it’s going to be really tough, really tough.
“But, if you’re finding that suddenly getting out of bed in the morning isn’t coming that easy to you, that’s when you need to ask for support,”
Joanne’s Story
You might remember on Episode Nine, we heard from Joanne Beedie who gave birth to her twins at 27-weeks’ gestation, sadly one of her boys had passed away inutero at 21-weeks’ gestation due to twin-to-twin transfusion syndrome.
She says coming to terms with the loss of her baby, having another baby in the NICU fighting for his life, and a toddler at home was a lot to cope with and the guilt was crippling.
“I think if it wasn’t for the fact that my husband’s and my parents flew in from Scotland to help us, I’m really not sure how we would have done it,” says Joanne.
Joanne says for her son Archie, he knew mummy had a baby in her tummy and then suddenly mummy went to the hospital and didn’t come back, and then there was no baby, but mummy’s tummy had gone.
“I remember the feelings of guilt, Archie he was only two-and-a-quarter when Lewis was born so he hadn’t even fully comprehended that he was going to have brothers,”
“I would try and spend between 8-and-3 in the hospital with Lewis and then I would try and get home and have time with Archie and have his dinner with him, get him to bed, and go back to the hospital for evening cares,” recalls Joanne.
Juggling
Like most parents who have babies in the NICU and other children to care for at home, Joanne says you can’t be in two places at once, but that’s exactly what you want to be able to do.

“The pressure of trying to juggle the two of them, it was just guilt,” says Joanne.

Archie had his own NICU journey. And, Joanne says she’s sure he’ll have his own memories of it.
“The best memories, I have from the NICU was the day Lewis came home and Archie got to meet him, of all places in the waiting area,”


Pressure
Senior NICU Social Worker at King Edward Memorial Hospital Clare Dimer says there are many social implications that come with having babies in the NICU and other siblings to care for at home. She says the biggest pressure is children under five.
“It’s a huge stress for families when they have other children at home, and they’re trying to navigate and negotiate with lots of different people and lots of different caregivers,”
“That’s a real struggle for families with multiples in the nursery, particularly around non-school aged children,” explains Clare.
Clare says 90 percent of parents’ stress levels when they have babies in the NICU and other children at home is worrying about who is taking care of their children.
“The children at home can regress in behaviours,