0:46

Hello and welcome back to the DOSPA

0:49

podcast . Oh

0:51

my lord , what's been happening ? Well

0:53

, I burnt my potatoes Not

0:56

my , not my fault , I swear . I

0:58

honestly thought I'll just put the potatoes

1:01

on so I can boil them for the mashed potato

1:03

and I'll come in here and I'll set

1:05

everything up . The next thing I know I'm

1:07

like is that

1:09

the smell of burning potatoes

1:11

Run out into

1:14

the kitchen . Completely black

1:16

pot . All of

1:18

my potatoes , black , withered

1:21

, burnt to the bottom of

1:23

the pot . Oh my lord , when

1:26

is someone going to sit down and have a conversation

1:29

with my pots and pans and cooking utensils

1:31

and explain to them that I do

1:33

have the ADHD ? I

1:36

am going to put them on with every

1:38

intention . I'm going to pay full attention to them

1:40

and make mashed potatoes and

1:42

then I will absolutely get

1:44

distracted . Coupled with the fact

1:46

I have no concept of time

1:50

, it needs to adjust itself

1:52

and be like whoops , she's got the ADHD

1:54

. She's probably forgotten about us . Turn

1:57

yourself off . That's all I'm saying . And

2:00

before anyone gives me a lecture , no

2:02

, I was not just going to have

2:04

mashed potato for dinner

2:07

. It's for my lunch tomorrow

2:09

at work . And no , it's not

2:11

just mashed potato . I

2:13

made a fake beef

2:16

ragu thing

2:18

, tomato sauce thing

2:20

to go with it . Not that there is

2:22

anything wrong with just having

2:24

mashed potato for

2:26

a meal . Sometimes you need to . You

2:29

know what . One of the best things about being

2:32

an adult and

2:34

let's face it , there's not a lot

2:36

. You've got to get a job , you've got to pay

2:38

your own bills . Nobody just carries

2:40

you to bed . You

2:42

don't just fall asleep and wake up in bed

2:45

Like in a happy way

2:47

. That never happens . One of the few

2:49

advantages you

2:52

can have whatever you want for dinner . If

2:54

you want to have mashed potato for lunch

2:56

tomorrow , you have mashed potato

2:58

for lunch tomorrow . I mean , not

3:00

me , don't rub it in . A

3:02

little while ago I was at the supermarket

3:04

and this kid was throwing

3:07

an absolute tantrum , just

3:09

crying like , because

3:11

his point is that I want hot dogs , I

3:14

want hot dogs for dinner , I want hot

3:16

dogs , hot dogs are so delicious

3:19

. And his dad's like no , no , you can't have hot

3:21

dogs for dinner . You can't have hot dogs for dinner , don't

3:23

be ridiculous . And the kid's like

3:26

and the more that

3:28

this child wept

3:30

in absolute sadness

3:32

, I realized hot

3:35

dogs for dinner actually does sound

3:38

delicious . So in

3:40

front of that child , I smiled

3:42

as I picked up a packet

3:44

of vegan hot dogs

3:46

and exclaimed hot

3:49

dogs for dinner . What a brilliant

3:51

suggestion . And then walked

3:53

off to the sounds of his

3:56

wailing . And you know

3:58

what , if you've ever thought , oh

4:00

, you know what , I don't want to try vegan food , you

4:02

know what ? Try vegan hot

4:04

dogs . Ironically , you're more likely to

4:06

find meat , I think , in a vegan hot dog

4:09

than an actual hot

4:11

dog , which is pretty much just

4:13

asses and elbows

4:16

. Do cows have

4:18

elbows ? No

4:20

, they've no . Well , I was gonna say

4:22

that . I mean , they walk , so they must , but they're knees

4:24

. That's , that's knees . I just no

4:27

. I guess it's no , that knees , but

4:30

not elbows . I guess you only

4:32

need elbows . If

4:34

you've only got legs , they're just knees . Oh

4:37

, elbows are just knees . Look

4:41

, I might have breathed in some

4:43

castinogenic smoke for my potatoes

4:46

. What were we doing ? That's right . Your

4:49

vision , oh my

4:51

lord , it is officially 2024

4:55

. Happy

4:58

new year to everyone

5:00

and congratulations on surviving

5:02

2023

5:05

. I don't care if you didn't get that promotion . I

5:07

don't care if you didn't lose weight . I don't

5:09

care if you didn't get married and have

5:11

18 babies . You know what you did

5:13

. You survived , and

5:17

that makes you a winner . I

5:20

Mean , let's be honest

5:22

, like a lot of us , were kicking and screaming

5:24

and dragging ourselves by

5:26

fingernails across the line , but

5:28

we got there Before

5:32

we get to your vision . Big salute to

5:34

all the pet parents out

5:36

there who spent new years eve

5:38

at home with their pets Rather

5:41

than out partying . One of my cats

5:43

, oh little mr Marshmallow , the former

5:46

street cat . He does

5:48

not do fireworks Very

5:51

well and I'm so glad that I stayed

5:53

home because , oh my lord , I swear they

5:55

were like about eight different sets of

5:57

like fireworks going off

5:59

in every direction . I'm guess I'm kind

6:01

of halfway between the sea and halfway

6:03

between the city . So I had

6:06

the city going off , I had the sea

6:08

going off . We had the early show

6:10

going off for the young kids . We had the

6:12

adult pervy sessions going . At

6:14

midnight we had people with their homemade

6:17

shit on the oval behind

6:19

us . Oh my god , my poor

6:21

little fur baby was not

6:24

coping . The first time

6:26

the fireworks went off I was running around

6:28

. I couldn't find him , like oh much he much . You were a , oh

6:31

, you're a cupboard . No , he wasn't in the cupboard for

6:33

cuddles . And I'm like oh , oh

6:35

, okay , maybe he's onto the desk . He loves to sit under

6:37

the desk and like look at me , oh , you're gonna give

6:39

you a cuddle on ? No , he's not under the desk . Oh

6:41

, is he under the bed ? No , it's not under

6:43

the bed . Oh see , in the other wardrobe no , it's not the

6:45

other wardrobe . I was beginning to freak

6:47

out . Do you know where I found him ? He was

6:50

curled up in the corner of his litter

6:52

tray . Poor

6:55

little Bobby . So

6:57

I had to like give him like hugs

6:59

and snugs and that , to

7:01

crank the stereo and do some

7:03

interpretive Just

7:10

to keep him amused . I Think

7:13

it it did . It was , hey

7:16

look , I think he was more terrified

7:18

by my dancing than the fireworks by the end

7:20

. But so then I just gave in and gave

7:22

him copious amounts

7:24

of food , like a good

7:26

European mother

7:29

. When in doubt , when your

7:31

loved one is in stress , there

7:33

is only one answer feed them

7:35

. Feed them until they pass out

7:37

into a coma of food , and that's

7:40

exactly what I did . So

7:44

what's been going on to Eurovision ? If

7:46

you've sort of seen anything from Eurovision and

7:48

their their home page at the moment , you'd

7:50

see these sort of like blocks of

7:52

like Glittery moving

7:54

lights . What are they ? Ah

7:57

, that's the lighting effect that

7:59

they're going for this year in Eurovision

8:01

2024 , part of their theme

8:03

. What it is , they tell us

8:05

, is it's based of . Okay , basically

8:07

they took a computer image

8:10

of the European

8:12

northern lights and

8:15

then they put that into a computer and they

8:17

got it all to be Beep-Boo-Boop-Boop-Boop-Boop-Boop-Boop-Boop

8:20

. You know , when you do the music

8:23

and your drones and your lights and all together

8:25

and apparently that is

8:27

like the computer pixelated

8:30

version of the northern

8:32

lights , but in a very much

8:34

unimpressive Microsoft

8:37

360 Pong

8:39

version . You

8:42

know , there's something for everyone . I guess

8:44

Not

8:46

my favorite thing , but you know what ? Not every

8:48

year can be a winner . Not every

8:50

song can be a winner at Eurovision . I

8:54

like the theme , I like what they're going for

8:56

, but if you're a little bit photo

8:58

sensitive , maybe be

9:01

aware of that one . The

9:03

big exciting news that we've had , the big

9:05

development is , of course , they've

9:07

released the designs for the stage

9:09

. Now , if you haven't seen

9:12

it , essentially , how do we describe

9:14

it ? It's like Christianity

9:18

meets the 80s . It's

9:20

kind of like a giant

9:23

cross

9:25

that comes out from

9:27

the back of the stage . So some of the lucky

9:29

fan members are actually

9:31

sort of going to get , some will get the front , some

9:33

will get the back view , so people will

9:35

be sort of in and around the

9:37

acts , which I think is

9:40

actually going to make for some interesting

9:42

presentation and it also

9:45

, I think , as a performer , as an act , it's certainly

9:47

ups to the next

9:50

level , because you

9:52

can't just stand there . It's not that

9:54

exciting if people just have to look at your back

9:56

for the full three minutes . It's

9:59

an interesting idea . How do you give

10:01

a full 360

10:04

performance ? I mean , let's

10:06

be honest , some performers have struggled to

10:08

give a performance just

10:10

with the one view , let alone a

10:12

360 degree view

10:15

. How have people got around this

10:17

in the past ? Well , I guess if you're

10:19

a Metallica , you can just put yourself

10:21

on a giant round stage and

10:24

then you pretty much just

10:26

stand there , but you kind of just you know

10:28

rotate around the room

10:30

like a really slow carousel

10:32

. That's one way to do it . I

10:35

mean , there's no requirement that you have to give

10:37

a 360 degree performance

10:39

, but it really is going to

10:41

be interesting to see how the different acts

10:44

are going to interpret this and how

10:46

they're going to change their stage

10:48

production . I really hope it's

10:50

not just going to be a case of people feel

10:52

like , oh , you know what , I'm just going to walk from this end

10:54

of the stage and then walk to that end of the stage

10:56

. Oh , it's three minutes . You've

10:58

got to give us more than just you

11:01

know a little bit of ramblin . I'll put

11:03

up some pictures for it , but the stage it actually

11:05

looks really interesting

11:07

. Lots of fluorescent

11:09

colors , pinks and blues

11:11

. I kind of like it . It's done by

11:13

Florian Wilder . He's a production

11:16

designer . He's based in Los

11:18

Angeles and Munich and he's

11:20

been doing production designs for over

11:22

30 years . What

11:25

you want to know , you want to know , is credentials

11:27

. What are they bringing

11:29

to this ? Hmm , what

11:32

have you got , florian ? Let's have a look at your resume

11:34

. Well , florian has designed

11:37

productions for Beyoncé's

11:39

tour , adele , jlo , robbie

11:41

Williams , you too . Okay

11:44

, for a lot of our listeners , I'm

11:46

gonna be like who the hell is you ? Two Old

11:49

people from Ireland . They used to be really

11:51

good . Lady Gaga and

11:53

, oh

11:55

Ramstein , oh

11:58

my lord , I am so

12:00

excited . If

12:02

anyone's listened to this podcast , they know I am

12:05

a huge fan of Ramstein

12:07

and I've been saying for years

12:10

oh , one of my Eurovision

12:12

dream grabs would be for

12:14

Eurovision to get Ramstein

12:17

to perform for Germany . I think

12:19

it would be one of the most amazing

12:21

three minutes in Eurovision's

12:23

history . Their

12:25

stage presence , their drama

12:28

, oh , they also have , without

12:31

a doubt , the absolute

12:34

number one pirate

12:36

technique displays on their live shows

12:38

. If you haven't seen them , oh

12:41

my lordy , I'm gonna put some

12:43

link on our website

12:45

. This is how intense they are in live

12:47

production . This is how

12:49

intense their pirate technique

12:51

displays are . This is

12:54

how intense their pirate technique display

12:56

is . Two years ago , ramstein performed

12:59

a concert in Hamburg

13:01

. Oh , hamburg

13:03

, that's about it . Hamburg , hamburg

13:06

. They performed in Hamburg . Their

13:09

concert and the pirate technique display

13:11

was so intense it

13:13

was actually picked up by seismic

13:16

earthquake sensors in

13:18

the city , detecting an

13:20

abnormally large and noisy

13:23

peak that coincided

13:25

with the Ramstein concert . They

13:28

feel it was a combination

13:30

between , obviously , a crowd of

13:32

people and the vibrations

13:34

the vibrations from the speakers

13:37

and the huge explosion

13:40

of pirate techniques

13:42

. Their live performances are

13:44

actually groundbreaking . They use

13:46

pirate techniques to set

13:48

off pirate techniques that set off

13:50

pirate techniques , that spark

13:52

the largest pirate techniques

13:55

. Oh , which

13:57

is why I got excited when I heard

13:59

that Florian Weeder was

14:02

going to be doing the production design

14:04

. They have experienced . They've

14:06

had a hand in creating

14:08

the legacy of the Ramstein live

14:11

concert . Can you

14:13

imagine if

14:15

they got to bring Ramstein

14:18

to the Eurovision stage ? Oh

14:21

, gweeeeeeell

14:23

, I'm so excited and

14:26

this is what we're desperately gonna need . I

14:28

was looking today at the people that have announced

14:30

so far for the performers that are definitely

14:33

gonna be performing at Eurovision and

14:35

all I'm a little bit

14:37

worried at the moment

14:40

. All the performers that we've got

14:42

. To be honest

14:44

, it looks like they might all work

14:46

in the same fancy

14:49

small scale coffee

14:52

shop and

14:54

used record store . Not that there's

14:56

anything against that . But we need

14:58

the variety . We

15:01

need our opera . We need

15:03

our crazed Romanians . We

15:05

need people coming in stewing

15:08

their little folk dances about a

15:10

train timetable . I

15:12

love it . We also

15:14

need our dark and heavy metal

15:16

. Oh , I know it might be a pipe

15:19

dream and I've been hanging on to it years

15:21

, for years and , oh , I

15:23

refuse to give it up . Seriously , can you imagine

15:26

Ramstein at Eurovision

15:28

2024 ? Do

15:30

Do points

15:33

, do points , nights

15:35

. Oh

15:38

, my Lord . The Florian

15:40

hasn't just done amazing concerts for Ramstein

15:42

. He's also been the production

15:45

designer for seven MTV

15:47

Awards in the US , twelve

15:49

of the European MTV

15:51

Music Awards , and

15:54

has actually had quite a bit of an experience

15:56

with the Eurovision stage

15:58

. He has actually worked

16:01

at Eurovision several

16:03

times . He also

16:05

designed the opening for the FIFA World

16:07

Cup in Qatar . So

16:11

he don't

16:13

come cheap . In other words

16:15

, now we can't forget about the

16:17

light and screen content designer

16:19

. Oh , I'm so excited about this . Frederick

16:23

Stormby , 25 years experience

16:25

again , has done work

16:27

on Beyonce's Renaissance tour

16:29

and worked for Eurovision in

16:31

2013 and 2016

16:34

. And we all know 2016 is one

16:36

of the best Eurovision that has

16:38

ever been . It

16:41

certainly looks like it is going to be one hell

16:43

of a dramatic show this

16:45

year . Oh , I can finally say

16:47

this year . It's getting so

16:50

much closer . The latest

16:52

buzz around the streets at the moment is everyone's

16:54

talking again . We have this

16:56

conversation every year . I

16:59

feel like for the last three

17:01

years , will Kano

17:04

be coming back to Eurovision

17:07

? It was so funny . I actually did a

17:09

search in the computer today and

17:11

I put Kano Eurovision 2020

17:14

. And it was hilarious because it was

17:16

just 2022 , 2023

17:18

, 2024 . Kano

17:21

being the eternal teasers that

17:23

they are actually released

17:25

a clip on Instagram where

17:28

they've actually said let's go

17:30

in Swedish

17:32

. So everyone straight away is like , oh my

17:34

God , that's it . They're going to be competing again . They're

17:37

going to try and compete to represent

17:39

Norway again at Eurovision

17:41

. But remember , this

17:43

is a big spectacular year . They

17:46

could and we've already called it . We think

17:48

they're going to get a lot of the past performers

17:50

to come in and perform a

17:53

lot of ABBA songs at

17:55

the live performance . So

17:57

they're saying let's go . It could be

17:59

them just getting ready . Maybe they're one

18:01

of the secret acts that are going to come out and perform

18:03

the ABBA songs . Oh

18:06

, either way , I'm very excited . I'm

18:08

going to be happy with either alternative

18:11

. Fred , the Sami rapper

18:13

from Kano , only recently

18:15

oh , last year , so

18:17

long ago , now recently

18:19

had well , he didn't have

18:22

, he didn't do shit . Another

18:25

person had his

18:27

child , and with a very small

18:30

child around . Does he want to commit

18:32

to all the preparation and work

18:34

that goes into producing

18:36

a Performance for the Eurovision

18:39

Song Contest ? Maybe they are

18:41

just gonna sing an abba song ? Who

18:43

knows ? The list

18:45

who will be competing try to

18:47

represent Norway at Eurovision is actually

18:49

released in a couple of days , in January the 5th

18:52

. So then we'll find out what's

18:54

happening and if they're gonna

18:56

try for Eurovision

18:58

2024 . Oh

19:01

, please , please , please , please , hear

19:04

my spirit in the sky and

19:07

Compete again at Eurovision

19:10

. While I was getting ready for today's

19:13

show , right before I burnt

19:15

my potatoes to

19:17

death , post popped up in

19:19

my insta feed from Eurovision saying

19:22

oh , eurovision 2024

19:25

, welcome the Caribbean . Hint

19:27

wink . We're not gonna reveal

19:29

what's happening yet . Oh my

19:31

lord , the feed was

19:34

exploding . There were some very angry

19:36

people saying well , why don't we just

19:38

call it world Vision

19:40

. We're just , we're just letting everyone

19:42

compete . Now a lot of angry

19:45

people with that sentiment . I'm

19:47

gonna be honest , I actually don't think it's anything

19:50

as huge announcement as

19:52

that I'm gonna put my money on . A

19:54

Rum company is

19:56

going to be supporting , or

19:58

the new alcohol brand for

20:01

Eurovision 2024 . So the

20:03

Caribbean , I don't know . It's probably gonna

20:05

be like Malibu , or Rum

20:07

like Captain Morgan

20:10

or who knows

20:12

. I hope it is Malibu . We actually

20:15

drink Malibu every

20:17

year at Eurovision . Oh

20:19

, on a side note , do you want it ? Okay , so

20:21

a couple of years ago now , my house

20:23

got broken into . Some crackheads

20:25

broken , completely , ransacked

20:28

my house . They obviously got disturbed

20:30

by something , just , you know , picked up whatever

20:32

they could and ran . When I

20:35

came home and in every

20:37

room of my house there was , you

20:39

know , they'd got like a box or like a storage

20:41

crate or a bag when they were

20:43

like piling up all the stuff that

20:45

they were going to steal from

20:48

that Room . So

20:50

it was just , it was really awkward

20:52

. You know , in the bedroom there's like all of my

20:55

earrings and like jewelry

20:57

is in a box . In the office

20:59

, you know , there was my laptop . They

21:01

were like my terminator to action

21:04

figures , you monsters . And In

21:07

the dining room , obviously , I've got like the shelf

21:09

where I've got all of the alcohol

21:12

and the booze . So they had a box and

21:14

they'd taken all the vodka

21:16

off the shelf , and the gym

21:18

beam and the Moet

21:20

, and all of this is in the box

21:23

ready to go . Even the Midori

21:25

, the blue Caraco , everything

21:28

except they left

21:30

on the shelf two bottles

21:32

of Malibu . They weren't even Touched

21:36

, and I know because , like the Midori

21:38

and the blue Caraco was behind

21:41

the Malibu , so they had to reach behind

21:43

the Malibu . So apparently

21:46

that's how you find out who's

21:49

a crackhead . Yeah , and that's

21:51

when they arrest someone , when my , they

21:53

get found with my jewelry and my belongings

21:55

one day and they're gonna be like no , no

21:57

, no , we didn't do it . I'm gonna tell the police

22:00

to offer them a Malibu and

22:02

if they say no , guilty

22:04

, so

22:06

Malibu . If you're listening . There's

22:09

another chance for a marketing opportunity , as

22:11

well as Eurovision 2024 . Also

22:14

, feel free to sponsor the douche power

22:16

podcast . Look

22:18

, honestly , I

22:20

felt so judged . I'm like don't judge

22:22

me , crackheads . Malibu was a

22:24

delicious drink , oh my

22:27

lord . Especially , I'm

22:29

gonna give you a recipe for

22:32

the most amazing Malibu

22:35

cocktail ever

22:37

. We'll wait

22:39

for that sponsorship . For now , I'm gonna

22:42

go . I'm gonna go and try and figure out what

22:44

I can have for lunch tomorrow . That's not

22:46

a burnt potato

22:48

. Come join me for the next episode

22:51

. I always go all the next

22:53

episode . It's out on Monday and then I put it out

22:55

on Monday , completely forgetting that

22:57

I'm supposed to put it out on Friday . But I'll

23:00

try and get better with that . Let us

23:02

know what do you prefer ? Do you prefers Mondays

23:04

, fridays ? Is it supposed to be

23:06

Thursday ? Oh Lord , I can't remember

23:09

. Anyway , again , I , I

23:12

don't . I don't have the , I don't have the brain , I

23:14

don't have the , I don't have the memory for the , for

23:16

the schedule , all the potatoes , or

23:19

look shiny things . Oh

23:21

, your vision 2024

23:24

.