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for listening to my Call of

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the Day podcast. You can hear

0:35

My Lai radio program Monday through

0:37

Friday in two to five Pm

0:39

Eastern time on Sirius Xm. Triumph

0:41

One Eleven Holly welcome to the

0:43

program. Through from a

0:46

tricky to micro. My.

0:48

Pleasure? What's. Okay,

0:51

if I can a little shaky, I know

0:53

what on earth. Are

0:57

you calling and apparently fifteen

0:59

year old. He

1:02

is a very weak kind can I

1:04

that we seem to be having a

1:06

lot of conflict at home. Wait wait

1:08

wait a minute. Why a little in

1:11

it? is a fifteen year old boy

1:13

and you're defining describing in this sweet.

1:16

And. It was the other word. It

1:18

already went out of my head. The

1:21

kind of sweet and kind.

1:24

He is not rough and tumble. Know

1:27

he is a very three kind

1:30

hearted kiddo. Okay,

1:32

then. Go.

1:34

Ahead so he's sweet, kind hearted fifteen

1:36

year old male. I'll. Be the

1:39

only one on the planet. I

1:43

got lucky that is Hop Well, we'll

1:45

see and there are right? So what's

1:47

the problem when we're urges? Were.

1:50

Having a lot of conflict because

1:52

he can see take fair or

1:54

once the path of least resistance

1:57

seated at once, the effort into

1:59

anything. Even. Things that

2:01

he really enjoys and even

2:04

just getting basic things guy

2:06

and like homework or chores

2:09

or even. A little

2:11

side job that he has it.

2:13

It's always a complex. Why

2:17

do you. Enter. Into a conflict about

2:20

it. Because.

2:24

I if I do, you know I

2:26

mean he used the word micromanage. If

2:28

I don't micromanage been, nothing gets done.

2:32

One of the you know that for

2:34

circular cause mothers who micromanaged her and

2:36

kids into sloss. So

2:42

the first thing they definitely don't to get

2:44

out of your cycle. First thing we need

2:46

to change his you. And

2:50

think. Okay,

2:53

He didn't change. He

2:58

has a harder time making close friends

3:00

with kids his age, but he does

3:02

for. One. Or two kids that he's close with.

3:06

And what age are they. One.

3:11

Of them is fifteen and

3:13

another is thirteen. So.

3:17

Of these his only two friends that he would

3:19

do stuff with have to school on weekends and

3:21

so forth. Yes, Or

3:23

no, yes. Yes,

3:26

Okay, Does

3:28

he? Do. Any sport.

3:33

He does archery. And

3:37

how often does he practice archery and as he

3:39

compete? He

3:42

practices two nights a week and

3:45

kill keeps on. Saturdays. Pay.

3:50

Does. He have any musical interests as he

3:52

play an instrument anytime. He

3:55

it does play the piano and he is

3:57

in piano lessons right now. I'm.

4:00

sorry he's in piano. What? Piano

4:04

lessons, Oh. Lessons

4:06

Okay. And. How often does he

4:08

have lessons? Once.

4:11

A week. And.

4:13

He wants to play piano or. You.

4:17

Want to play piano? Who wants him to play

4:19

piano? Here

4:22

like playing the piano and he'll

4:24

play it on his own time,

4:26

but he does not like practicing.

4:34

as he seemed as a dance. As

4:36

he right does he really. Doesn't

4:39

do any of that. Reminded

4:42

to reading and she's also

4:44

in an are used Civil

4:46

Air Patrol that center community

4:48

here. And.

4:51

What does he do? And Civil Air Control.

4:53

What does he do with that? They.

4:56

Have meetings once a week

4:58

at me and they're trying

5:01

to prepare them for a

5:03

future in the military. and

5:05

they do things like work

5:07

on emergency services and work

5:09

on physical health. Any and.

5:12

Be. Good to the community and just things

5:15

like that. And how often

5:17

a week is that. One

5:19

night a week. Pay.

5:23

And is it has he. Said

5:25

that his intent is to go into the military.

5:29

Yes, Pay.

5:31

So he has a goal. And.

5:33

Those things for which he has a goal. Is.

5:36

He flunking out of school. Ready.

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6:39

Dr. Laura. There's

6:42

a moment you realize you're running for

6:45

what's next. In your career. To me, it's

6:47

when you try and scone. Recipe and think

6:49

I could have been a cafe or maybe

6:51

you're helping a coworker and say i just

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of course on this point ever your moment

6:56

is it's never too early to plan for

6:58

a career that lived longer. That's why the

7:00

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7:49

He is getting see this is not

7:51

eating seen a panda. Okay,

7:54

so he gets his easy

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Cia passes. Good. Get. Off

7:58

his back. Yes, he has a plan. He's

8:01

doing the minimal required to get to

8:03

it. That's it. Stop

8:06

your micromanaging. That's not who your son

8:08

is and wants to be. This

8:12

is his choice. This is

8:14

fine. Get off his back. As

8:16

long as he passes, three years

8:18

will go into the military. That's

8:21

his plan. Please get

8:23

off his back so that you can have a good

8:25

relationship with your boy. So

8:28

what if he has goals but he is

8:30

not doing any more words though? Those are

8:33

his. Then he won't reach the goal. Okay.

8:39

What doesn't motivate him from the inside

8:41

won't happen. If that's his

8:43

plan and he's doing the minimal requirement

8:45

to get to it, that's it. You

8:51

bring him up to make that choice. He's

8:53

making that choice. What he

8:55

doesn't want to be bothered with, he doesn't bother with

8:57

it. His goal is the

8:59

military. He'll get there. And

9:01

in the military, things

9:06

will change. Yeah.

9:09

Okay. With discipline. So meanwhile,

9:11

just enjoy your boy. Okay. Okay.

9:16

I will do that. And as a matter

9:18

of fact, I think you should sit with him and say, you know,

9:20

I've been nagging you a lot. And

9:23

micromanaging and forcing you to do stuff. And

9:25

that was wrong. You're a 15-year-old male person.

9:29

Sweet. Kind. You

9:33

obviously have a plan for the military. I can see these

9:35

are the things you're doing. You're making sure

9:38

you pass high school because they won't take

9:40

in without that. So I

9:42

can see you're doing the things toward

9:44

your goal. Great.

9:47

Give him a hug. So instead

9:49

of all the nay-saying, now you're

9:52

complimenting him. It's amazing how kids

9:54

rise to an occasion or sink to

9:56

an occasion depending on how the feedback

9:58

they're getting, especially. from

10:01

mom and dad. And by

10:03

the way, is there a dad in the house? Yes,

10:07

there is. And what is their

10:09

relationship like? He

10:14

seems to have a lot harder time with

10:17

his dad than with me. They

10:21

argue a lot. And

10:23

why does your husband argue a lot with his son? I

10:29

think because he sees the same things

10:31

that he's trying to help steer

10:33

the course a little bit. There's

10:36

nothing to steer. He has a goal. He's

10:38

going to attain it. He's going into the

10:40

military. So he's got two parents

10:43

who don't believe in him, who

10:45

nag him, who show him

10:47

they don't think well of him.

10:50

And then you expect wonderful

10:52

things to come of that. You

10:55

can put a lot of fertilizer on the dirt, my

10:58

dear, but if there are no seeds, it's

11:01

just shit. So.

11:04

I told you, you

11:06

have to stop that and be reinforcing. Doesn't

11:11

that make sense? I think that

11:13

makes sense. Well,

11:17

you think about whether it makes sense, but

11:20

I think it makes sense. My number 1

11:22

800 375 28 72. If you like this podcast, be sure to rate

11:24

it on Apple Podcasts or your favorite

11:33

place to listen to my podcast. Of

11:35

course, I'd love if you gave me

11:37

five stars. And be sure

11:40

to share this podcast with a friend on

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