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we. Sent you use our code or click podcast

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after you sign up for your first box. Welcome

1:36

to your Biscuits The podcast were

1:38

to lifelong friends talk about life

1:41

for a long time. Read. My.

1:45

Book or as it as is

1:47

heated I'd before I'm rusty as

1:50

and is this New year this

1:52

is first one we recorded this

1:54

and about. He added side i

1:56

don't you read. A

1:59

new. this year, I'm Link. No,

2:02

no, no, let me explain what this is. All

2:04

along. No, you felt bad about starting it, and

2:06

then you were like, well, I gotta say it

2:08

the right way. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. That's what

2:10

I'm doing. That's what I went through my mind.

2:12

I was so ready to say my part that

2:15

I was like, I'm Link,

2:17

and then as I heard myself say,

2:19

I'm, I was like, oh. Well,

2:22

this is appropriate. This is appropriate because

2:24

that was the first thing I wanted to talk about is

2:27

what I screwed up. I am Link. What

2:29

I screwed up in

2:31

front of a different audience

2:35

last night. Yeah, Rhett. I,

2:38

you know me, I don't like, I don't

2:41

like to screw things up, you know? It's

2:45

to a pathological point. Maybe

2:48

it was growing up in a family where screwing

2:50

up wasn't well tolerated.

2:54

Yeah, I didn't wanna, I

2:57

didn't wanna bring it up unless you wanted to bring it up, but

3:00

since you wanna talk about it, I didn't think it would. You

3:02

did bring it up in the moment. Well, yeah, but. While

3:05

I was still on stage. Okay,

3:07

let's start at the beginning. But it's my

3:09

fault. So we

3:11

had the privilege and honor of presenting

3:16

at the 75th Emmys, not the real

3:19

Emmys, let's be real. Well,

3:22

no, the real Emmys, but it was the

3:24

creative arts Emmys. It wasn't the

3:26

main Emmys that you see on

3:28

primetime television. We made the mistake

3:31

of thinking that it was a

3:33

lesser Emmys just because it

3:36

wasn't televised. It was still recorded and

3:38

it's still gonna be broadcast. It's televised

3:40

somewhere, like a FXX or something. But

3:43

the moment we showed up, I

3:45

mean, we had to wear tuxes. The reason we didn't

3:47

think it was as big of a deal as it

3:49

was is because we were both

3:51

confused. Yeah, we were. Well, over 13

3:53

years ago. I

3:56

don't even think we lived in LA at the time. We had just moved

3:58

here. We were. The to

4:00

M C to host. Some.

4:03

Anything that was over there at

4:05

the. The. Dolby

4:07

Theatre or something. right?

4:10

We how to read another that was a Creative Arts

4:12

Emmys and we I don't you remember anything about that.

4:14

We hosted a whole thing we are trying to be

4:16

funny, I'm sure we were somewhat annoying. they were given

4:18

out a me there too, but it was. Yeah.

4:21

That was less than this is among. We showed

4:23

up in our taxes because we were told to

4:25

wear tuxes. Of a nearby with

4:27

I mean. This. Is. This. Is

4:29

a much bigger deal than I

4:31

realized the queer eye guys were

4:33

there. Ah got the meets him.

4:35

Robinson was very excited about that

4:37

and then he wanted are not

4:39

learning whenever they are short form

4:41

comedy. So Olivia Mio one that

4:43

Rupe Hall, Kiki Palmer. You. Know

4:46

there's like. Recognizable celebs

4:48

there the night before

4:50

is scripted. Emmys that

4:52

aren't in the televised version and the neither

4:54

we were there was the unscripted Amy's that

4:56

just don't make it in the televised version

4:59

because everything can't make it So. In

5:01

In in a seat us and we're literally

5:03

in the center on a front row piazza.

5:05

How do we get these seats? Why? Why

5:07

did? why did we get so Chrissy? This

5:09

more. I was like this is much bigger

5:11

deal than we realized and I actually started

5:14

to get nervous. And I wasn't I was

5:16

actually proud of myself. For. Not being

5:18

nervous. In. The like weeks leading up

5:20

to it. Because it's a lot of times when you're about

5:22

to do something that's out of your comfort zone in front

5:24

of a group of people that. You.

5:27

Know there's a little bit of a chip on

5:29

the shoulder of a you tube are going into

5:31

that environment that you're trying to think allows you

5:33

to her And so I was like but you

5:35

know what others it's really good about it because

5:37

I'm not really concerned about with these people. Think

5:39

about me also not realizing that. It

5:41

would be the crowd that it was Carol

5:44

Burnett. Thera with were no was unafraid it

5:46

on the front row like five seats down

5:48

from us and the first person I came

5:50

up with Jeff Pro just started the whole

5:52

show. How a man I love me some

5:54

Jeff Probes I want that to meet me

5:57

Jeff Probes We gotta get him on the

5:59

mythical morning. Yeah. Gotta make that work

6:01

and they are. Then it was like oh crap

6:03

This is a this is this is the this

6:05

is the thing and they had sent us

6:07

the scripts. A Big stage. This is a full

6:09

production. This is like steady teams. Roman in front

6:12

of us. And like

6:14

act like you. Are

6:16

meant to be here. They sent us the

6:18

script ahead of time and. I

6:21

was like this is pretty good script and I just.

6:24

Made. One change at I exchanged

6:26

one joke. And

6:29

sell pretty good about it. They. Did

6:31

put us two hours and twenty minutes or

6:33

hours and forty minutes into the chef of

6:35

and it was our last than thirty minutes

6:37

show. So that took some of the pressure

6:39

off cause on any these shows by the

6:42

time you get to this second hour or

6:44

past that people just kind of want to

6:46

get to the after party. And

6:48

so. I. Was the one that was

6:50

supposed to start. And. I had

6:52

a teleprompter much. The.

6:55

I But I'm well. I'm saying

6:57

that in my mind, having a

6:59

teleprompter is the reason for why

7:01

I said the thing that I

7:03

said but. Which. I told

7:05

you ahead of time when you're asking me to

7:07

like, make some changes, or that you want to

7:09

see this house like I'm just going to stick

7:11

to the teleprompter because that's how I maintain my

7:13

composure and situations like this is like I don't.

7:15

I don't go off prompter, And

7:18

I was like three lines.

7:21

And then you're done right. Three lines for me.

7:23

Three nice from humor done here. In

7:26

the first time was in celebration of the

7:28

Seventy Six Emmys or something like that. He

7:31

and I literally said. In

7:33

Celebration of the Seventy Five Families. And

7:35

and you realize it, as you said,

7:37

it's worth it. I'm like any other

7:40

thing, and I'm like Celebration and Seventy

7:42

Five. Families and

7:44

I sit and so you gave me a

7:46

moment to say so like you are like.

7:49

Use do stuttered. You.

7:51

Sputtered a little bit. was thinking of something

7:53

clever to say. And you said, I

7:56

can't remember what you said. and i

7:59

said seventy five as 75th and you said

8:01

yeah, you should probably say 75th what

8:03

I would have I thought I said was I thought what is

8:05

it was you? You can That's

8:08

not the way you say it or I thought you are you

8:10

should probably say 75th or something like that I don't know. We'll

8:12

watch it back on fxx But

8:16

what I thought about after it had happened

8:19

was what I should have said is I

8:21

should have said 75

8:24

yes, it's the new 75th And

8:28

I would have gotten some laughs At

8:30

least I acknowledged that you said

8:33

and then we went on to deliver These

8:35

pre-written jokes that I could have said something funny

8:37

or two got a couple of laughs But

8:41

then we were in between award a joke

8:43

about Betty White being white you did but

8:45

in celebration of the technological Advancement

8:47

of color television. No, it's the best joke

8:50

But in between the awards because we gave

8:52

out two awards where they were showing the montage

8:54

of the nominees It

8:58

got dark you leaned over to me and you

9:00

said yeah 75th

9:02

really that's not what I said

9:04

as if that's not what I did. I wasn't

9:06

already Drowning in shame.

9:08

Okay. I my best friend leans over

9:11

and says 75th really? Okay Here's

9:15

what really happened. I was drowning

9:17

in shame up the lights go down your boy

9:19

was drowning in shame It I

9:22

and you piled on I could tell that

9:24

you are not happy with yourself because

9:26

you were standing there motionless Just

9:28

looking into nothing You

9:31

were looking inside of your brain. I had one thing I

9:34

had one thing to do say 75th

9:36

is the third thing that I've always said

9:38

when I say 75. Yeah, I mean I've

9:41

never said 75 It's

9:44

like Bilbo bag is 11 I'm

9:48

a hundred and I'm a little many good jokes Like

9:50

if I had that small wonder thing where she could

9:52

like pause time or go back I don't know if

9:54

I had the ring where you could go back in

9:56

time There's so many things that I could say. I'm

9:58

a hobbit. Of course. I could just say 75th.

10:00

Listen, I just got back from New Zealand. The ring

10:02

makes you invisible. It does not make you go back

10:04

in time. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm talking about a

10:06

different ring. There's one ring, Rhett.

10:09

No, no, no. I just rolled them all. I'm talking

10:11

about a ring that takes you back in time to

10:13

then say... Well, there are other rings. ...a separate thing

10:15

about being a hobbit. But

10:18

what I said... So I knew that you

10:20

were kind of stewing or in, in shame.

10:22

And so you wanted to rub it a

10:24

little bit. But I... No! I

10:26

was trying to make you feel better,

10:28

but I haven't... I was saying 75th.

10:30

I had to say something. Really? What

10:32

I said was... That's about what I remember.

10:35

I mean, of course, you know, the

10:37

crowd is still out there. Everybody's... Everybody's thinking about

10:39

it. ...thinking about that, of course. Only thinking about

10:41

75th. That's the only thing they're thinking about. So

10:43

yeah, I lean over to you and I'm like...

10:45

75th, huh? That's

10:48

what I said. 75th,

10:51

huh? Oh, is that

10:53

better? I mean, I

10:55

let you off easy, man. I was like,

10:58

man, you really screwed

11:00

the pooch. Man, you made us both

11:02

look stupid. It doesn't matter.

11:04

It doesn't matter. It didn't matter to me. It

11:06

didn't matter to me. Because it wasn't me. No,

11:09

I... It's

11:12

fine, man. But I knew there

11:14

wasn't anything I could say that would make you

11:17

feel better in that moment because the lights were

11:19

about to come up and we're about to give

11:21

an award. Well, the thing that I... So the

11:23

thing that I regretted wasn't necessarily saying 75th. I

11:25

mean, obviously that was the thing... That was the

11:27

error. It was, in

11:29

retrospect, not then having the funny thing

11:32

to say about screwing

11:34

up, right? People... I mean, what's

11:37

your name? You don't

11:40

even remember her name. See, she screwed up

11:42

too. The one that said telegision. Yeah, she

11:45

said telegision. But then she said something funny.

11:48

No, she said television. And she

11:51

talked about the authenticity of reality television or

11:53

something and said that she was kind of

11:55

making a point. Right, right. Anyway,

11:58

I Felt bad for her. I Really...? The I don't I

12:00

mean. Him And you recovered man.

12:03

you said your jokes. Yeah,

12:05

yeah, yeah, we got out of it. I'm

12:07

just saying that. It was, as

12:09

I observed, Myself.

12:12

In how I reacted in

12:14

that situation, Realizing that. I.

12:17

Was caring more about this than anyone

12:19

else was carrying? Everybody. Who

12:21

was their first of all? who was less was

12:23

be honest. Tim Robison had gone

12:25

home. I looked down there because he was that

12:27

when I was for it really worried about he's gone. So.

12:33

Many people left. Two hours and twenty minute

12:35

overnight was stolen. Carol Burnett was there, but

12:37

she's ninety. Yeah. Spread. Hear

12:39

me. Know.

12:42

So. I. Think he

12:44

shouldn't be too self up over

12:47

it was a it was an

12:49

exercise in humility but also and.

12:52

That. Just as the much better to

12:54

mess that up than a message joke

12:56

up that would ideally much work. That's

12:58

what. That's what my wonderful. Wife

13:00

told told me she said. Life's.

13:04

Life's he just indonesia Well as I knew

13:06

development. Twenty Twenty four I've got to live

13:08

a healthy now you're recovering with easy to

13:11

be out there is a leg if I

13:13

was that money last night. Mega mega polygamy

13:15

joke the when it mattered or when I

13:17

was saga Jesse she was like when when

13:20

he said you screwed up I thought maybe

13:22

you had like. Said. The wrong

13:24

main when you open the on below burgess

13:26

to to joke up as you just screwed

13:28

up seventy five some on of I'd rates

13:31

as it is a mistake that no one

13:33

would ever make because how could you give

13:35

like little that What does that come from.

13:38

Know reds, you had seventy five and in the

13:40

Tx was on the next line Southern? No No

13:42

no. The. only

13:44

way one can make that joke

13:47

make that mistake is by reading

13:49

the word set that the number

13:51

seventy five he wasn't seventy fifth

13:53

he was written out seven five

13:56

t h and so a my

13:58

brain i got to 75

14:01

and just saw 75 so I was just like the 75 Yeah,

14:08

you read it as literal as possible

14:11

I was too committed to sticking

14:13

to the prompt I told you man But

14:16

I normally do better when I stick to the

14:18

prompter But apparently

14:20

you can't stick so tightly to the prompter

14:22

that you don't see the th not in

14:24

2024 man Yeah,

14:26

so next time they invite us

14:29

if they do to the Emmys If

14:32

they don't not gonna it'll be we're gonna know

14:34

why right right? Yeah, man

14:36

listen Let

14:39

me just let me look at me look

14:41

at me I Want

14:44

to get this hair off your eye you're about to do some sort of

14:47

You got a hair right here. I was like that back I

14:49

was like you thought I was gonna do some sort of magic

14:51

look at me look at me I feel shame look at me.

14:53

I want you to let me let me grab back your neck

14:56

I want you to know that you were

14:58

loved and you are

15:01

respected I'm just saying next time and you

15:03

are next you are normally composed next time

15:05

I you were composed I shamed myself in

15:07

that way you didn't you didn't lose composure

15:09

what I would ask of you as a

15:11

best friend It's just to be like

15:14

Hey, nobody cares or just or

15:16

like it's gonna be okay, man

15:19

75. Huh? Yeah, I thought that was I

15:21

thought I was don't make light of the thing that

15:23

I just the only thing that I'm thinking right now

15:25

is 75 75 Why

15:28

did you say 75 and then your buddy leans over and says

15:30

75? I'm

15:34

sorry, man. I was I was really just thinking

15:36

yeah, I need to say something and it's Sometimes

15:40

it's better. I made it work anything at

15:42

all shit, man. I did I don't realize

15:44

that I've made it worse. I'm sorry I'm

15:50

okay. It

15:52

was the first thing I thought about when I woke up though Literally

15:56

like the like as your brain

15:58

is awakening to the world and you're

16:00

beginning to orient yourself to the day, like I just

16:02

saw 75. And

16:05

that's me, that's my problem. Not just the screw up, but

16:07

the fact that that would be the first thing that I

16:09

think about. If the

16:12

shoe was on the other foot, I

16:15

feel like it

16:17

would have been better for everybody. Because

16:21

I put my foot in my mouth all the time.

16:23

And you're always ready to take it out. Right. See,

16:27

that's what I failed you and not saying something

16:29

funnier than what I said. It really was a

16:31

setup for you and you failed. But I said

16:33

something. You should be feeling should be.

16:35

I did say something, but I'm sorry that I didn't

16:37

say something better. If you were me in that moment,

16:39

you would have said something better. But I would have

16:42

been the butt of the joke. Well,

16:47

and you know what? That

16:50

would have worked. That would have been the best for common. I

16:53

just don't, see, I didn't have the instinct to

16:55

publicly. Well,

16:58

next time. Really go for the joke. Hey, just be ready,

17:00

man. I make mistakes too. It's tough. You gotta be ready

17:02

for me to make mistakes. I make

17:04

them quite a bit. Yeah, you need to

17:06

stay in your lane though. I'm

17:08

the mistake maker. Yeah, see, that's not fair. I

17:11

don't, that's not fair. Do not, 2024. Are

17:14

you done thinking about it now? Do you feel like

17:16

this is helping? 2024 is my year of mistakes. Oh.

17:20

Just so you know. Do you feel

17:22

like you can put this behind you? You

17:25

can integrate this. Well, in a

17:27

way though, I was a

17:30

bit preoccupied with the fact that I

17:33

had gotten Clippers Lakers tickets

17:35

for me and my family that I had

17:37

secured before we ever got this gig. And

17:41

I didn't really understand that we were gonna be,

17:44

even though it was in the information that Jenna,

17:46

that you sent ahead of time, but I had

17:48

failed to really read all that. And

17:51

didn't realize that we were gonna be giving

17:53

our presentation after the

17:55

game had been going for an hour.

17:58

Thankfully, it was literally in the. the

18:00

Peacock Theater, which is right next to the

18:02

crypto.com arena. So it was just like walking

18:04

over. But I

18:06

was thinking about, man, I paid all that money for

18:08

these tickets for this Clippers Lakers game and I'm excited

18:10

about it. And

18:13

then as I was getting changed after 75th and

18:15

I was walking over, I was like, but you

18:17

know what, I'm gonna watch my Clippers take

18:20

out the Lakers. Because you

18:22

know that's what they're gonna do. And did

18:24

they? They lost. Oh, so it was like

18:26

L upon L. And it

18:28

was a double L. But you pulled

18:30

like a reverse James Bond. You

18:33

had a duffel bag and you went into the

18:35

bathroom in a tux and you came out in

18:38

LA Clippers gear. I did. I

18:41

did. And left me with your bag. See, that's a pretty

18:43

good friend. I do appreciate it. Didn't that make out, I

18:45

carried your duffel bag. Carried my duffel bag. What did you

18:47

do at that party with it? Is

18:50

it like a big fanny pack? I gave it

18:52

to somebody to put in the car. Oh, good. Yeah.

18:55

So I pawned it off pretty much immediately.

18:57

You could rock a duffel. Yeah,

18:59

I had a whole bit. Where's

19:01

Rhett? Oh, he's deflated in this duffel.

19:04

Did you see the 75? No,

19:06

that was pretty good. That

19:08

was pretty good. He's completely. You should have said that earlier. I rolled

19:10

him up after he deflated and

19:13

I put him in his duffel. Yeah. I

19:16

appreciate you holding my bag. Oh, God. That

19:18

almost makes up for rubbing it in in

19:21

the moment. I didn't rub it in.

19:23

I wasn't trying to rub it in. Okay,

19:25

listen, if it will make you feel better,

19:28

I had some big fails on

19:31

my epic New Zealand trip that

19:35

I want to tell you about. Okay. Right

19:37

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Rosetta stone.com/ear to. i've

21:58

been playing as a trip to new the for over a

22:00

year. During the pandemic, we

22:03

were rewatching all of the Lord

22:05

of the Rings extended DVD behind

22:07

the scenes. I don't know. Hours

22:09

and hours. 16 hours of content

22:13

and just getting back into realizing

22:16

that, you know what? Middle Earth

22:18

exists. It's a place called New

22:20

Zealand. Where's Old

22:23

Zealand? I don't know. Was there ever a Zealand?

22:25

It had to be. It's like, I was

22:29

there in New Zealand this whole time and no

22:31

one ever talked about the old one. It's

22:33

gotta be an Old Zealand. This one's

22:35

definitely better. This is an improvement on

22:38

the other one. Is Zealand just another

22:40

word for Britain because all

22:43

their money has the queen on it? Maybe it

22:45

was sea land. And

22:47

then New Zealand. Yeah, let's

22:49

just conjecture at length

22:51

about that because we don't know. We're

22:53

not going to figure it out. It makes sense, the sea land. It's

22:57

a fresh place. I will say that. It's

22:59

totally worthy of being new. Beautiful,

23:03

huh? Most

23:05

beautiful place on earth. That's what

23:07

they say. It is extremely

23:10

easy on the eyes. Everywhere you

23:13

look. So we had, I mean,

23:15

the first thing that we booked over a

23:17

year in advance was visiting Hobbiton. It's

23:20

Middle Earth that Hobbiton is

23:22

literally there. Like,

23:25

well, the place where they, I mean,

23:27

the place where they made the movie,

23:29

not the place where J.R. Tolkien, like.

23:31

But in its entirety, like when you,

23:34

like that shot of Hobbiton, he

23:36

has all the home. Yes. That's

23:39

all completely intact. Yeah. Well,

23:41

they tore it all down after The Lord of

23:43

the Rings production and then

23:45

took everything out. But

23:49

then when they made the Hobbit movies,

23:51

they rebuilt the entire thing on the

23:53

same piece of sheep

23:55

farm land. And then the

23:58

guy who owned the land, I don't know

24:00

whose idea it was, but they hatched this idea that

24:02

said, hey listen, let's not make the mistake of

24:04

tearing this down again. Like

24:06

now we're gonna, this is gonna be a permanent

24:09

fixture. More money than sheep, for

24:11

sure. You know how when you go, if

24:13

you have the privilege of going to Walt

24:16

Disneyland or World or any

24:18

of the Disney places, you're struck by

24:20

how the attention to detail everywhere, like

24:22

going from ride to ride and attraction

24:24

to attraction, it's not just about the

24:26

attraction is being amazing, but the entire

24:28

experience is curated. It's not six legs.

24:30

All the way, no, all the way

24:32

down to like the trash cans and

24:35

the smell in the air and like the

24:38

mulch underneath the bushes that you can't see.

24:41

This was the only experience I've been to

24:43

where I bought a ticket and it topped

24:46

that. Like the attention to detail, you

24:48

felt like you were there. It was

24:50

amazing. And then, other hobbits? There

24:53

are no hobbits running around. They're

24:55

too tasteful for that. All

24:58

the hobbits are, I

25:00

don't know, they don't like

25:02

to leave. They didn't tell me where they were,

25:05

but they weren't there. And

25:08

they had spaced out the tour groups well enough

25:10

that like you could see people on the

25:12

other, you know, at different spots, but like

25:14

it wasn't, you went through in a group

25:17

with a guide and it was so it

25:19

was very... Walking.

25:22

Yeah, walking. Right up to hobbit holes

25:25

all around the thing. And you may be choosing

25:27

to take a picture of every single hobbit hole

25:29

like my wife did. I on the

25:32

other hand just took a picture of one, maybe two

25:34

hobbit holes, and then I looked at all the rest

25:36

of them with my eyes and enjoyed it. But

25:38

I chose not to pick

25:41

that fight because the main thing about

25:43

being on a family trip is knowing

25:46

what battles to choose. And

25:49

basically if you can choose none, that's

25:51

success. And I was pretty good at that.

25:55

You know, didn't impact my experience and

25:57

I realized I wasn't going to go

25:59

into dad. mode and like look at

26:01

that stop taking pictures and do

26:03

this you know I was

26:05

not in

26:07

charge of my family's experience once

26:10

we got there. They had their

26:13

own choices to make with their own phones

26:15

and they could listen to

26:17

the tour guide and do whatever they wanted. That

26:19

unlocked a lot of happiness

26:22

from me to abdicate

26:24

all of my responsibilities as a dad to

26:26

make sure that anyone else was having a

26:28

good time. It

26:31

may sound selfish but hey

26:34

I set this thing up I booked the tickets

26:36

or I asked someone to book the tickets or

26:40

I asked someone to ask someone to book

26:42

the tickets but it happened you know come

26:44

on. So

26:47

I did my part everybody

26:49

loved Hobbiton it was a highlight and can

26:52

you when you go into the now I'm

26:55

experienced enough of a filmmaker

26:57

to know that they didn't shoot the

26:59

inside of those Hobbit holes

27:02

in the same place they did that on a

27:04

soundstage. You're too smart for me man. But what

27:07

I do want to know is what's inside

27:09

those Hobbit holes? Darkness.

27:12

Okay. Utter darkness.

27:15

No furnace? What I did

27:17

not know was that they

27:19

had remade the last two

27:22

Hobbit holes like

27:25

two months before we got there. This

27:27

was like fresh fresh it remodeled

27:29

so that you could go into

27:31

they split the group in half

27:33

and you went into either the

27:36

proudfoots Hobbit hole

27:38

or another Hobbit hole that was similar but

27:40

catered to another family like designed to another

27:42

family. So you can't go into Bilbo's thing

27:44

because they're not gonna try to recreate it.

27:46

No you can't go into Bag End but

27:50

it's it we didn't even know this

27:52

was gonna happen and then they're like

27:54

okay we're gonna go into these Hobbit holes and

27:56

they it was

27:58

absolutely picture sure perfect in there.

28:02

Like, talk about the attention to detail

28:04

then went up like 10 notches. Like.

28:07

Little furniture. Beds,

28:10

little bunk beds, little

28:13

sinks with running water. Could

28:15

you get in the beds? Yeah,

28:17

if you wanted to, you could sit on the bed. Huh,

28:20

you just like, I mean, you're

28:22

just walking around. There's no like. That's

28:24

a good photo op. There's no ropes. Christy could have

28:27

taken a photo of that, you in the bed. Me

28:29

and her in the bed. But really? We

28:34

didn't do that. It was super

28:37

impressive. You just

28:39

made a fart sound with your hands. Yeah.

28:42

Kind of undermining. No, because that was me saying that.

28:45

Super impressive. Yeah, she literally,

28:47

did you know?

28:50

Yeah, again, there's a few things for 2024.

28:53

What? Couple

28:56

of wives, mistakes, and hand farts.

29:00

But you did not know you were gonna do

29:02

that. You know what, yeah, yeah, yeah, I

29:04

did. I was like, I'm gonna wait for the

29:06

perfect moment in this story, the hand fart. I

29:08

don't think they heard. Hey, look at how good you

29:10

are at recovery. Microphones are very directional, Link, so I'd

29:12

think to this. Probably

29:15

this. But

29:17

I heard it. I'm

29:20

telling a story about the most beautiful thing I've

29:22

encountered in the whole year. You clapped your hand

29:24

with a hand fart. I did it exactly the

29:26

right time. You said picture perfect, and I was

29:28

like, yep. I

29:31

thought that was good timing. It was

29:33

good timing, you have good instincts, but

29:35

you didn't do it over cost. Per

29:39

person. Probably a lot, dude. The

29:41

other thing I decided not to do was look

29:43

at the cost. Okay, good. And I'm just being

29:46

honest. I mean, once you decide to go to

29:48

New Zealand, and you have to do Hobbiton, you

29:50

cannot look at the cost. You

29:53

know, you count the cost of going to New

29:55

Zealand and not visiting Hobbiton. How many costs? How

29:57

much time do you spend at Hobbiton? Is

29:59

there... gift shop? Is there a red one? At the

30:01

end of the freaking tour you go to the... It's

30:05

not the prancing pony, it's the other one. And

30:07

you get a beer. They give you a beer. Okay.

30:10

And it's got alcohol in it. I'm thinking

30:12

about all the things that they could have

30:14

done. And you can also get a cider.

30:17

It also has alcohol in it. Do they

30:20

sell fireworks? No. No.

30:24

They don't do that. What do they sell?

30:27

They sell like stones, hairy

30:29

feet that you could put on over your feet. Lots

30:32

of... You know

30:34

what? I don't know if they sell maps and

30:36

they sell a lot of models.

30:40

Oh yeah. I don't know if they sold

30:42

hairy feet. I

30:45

went back to the car. And

30:47

waited? Yeah. And your kids stayed in the... Yeah, because I

30:49

was looking at... I was trying to figure out the next

30:51

thing for us to do. A map. She

30:55

bought a map. The

30:58

main thing I want to talk about though is

31:01

I really

31:03

wasn't mentally prepared for the

31:06

main thing that was

31:08

going to be an immersive experience

31:10

that was entirely different than anything

31:12

I've ever experienced. That put

31:14

me in the driver's

31:16

seat of a situation that

31:18

I was not prepared for. And that

31:21

was quite literally getting in the driver's

31:23

seat of my rental car. And

31:25

then, which was on the wrong side of the car,

31:28

excuse me for saying it

31:30

that way, on the other side

31:32

of the car. And then having to drive on

31:34

the other side of the roads over

31:38

the course of our entire two-week trip. Now

31:41

don't you think just

31:44

a little bit that this

31:46

might be a recipe for

31:48

disaster? Yeah,

31:52

because sometimes you driving on the right

31:54

side of the road can be a recipe for disaster. I

31:57

mean how many pedestrians have I... All

31:59

my life. Almost hit, almost maimed, killed,

32:02

or otherwise clipped here in America. That

32:04

then like. That you've seen firsthand. That

32:06

then DM'd us later. Yeah, yeah. At

32:10

least one. At least one. Many

32:13

pedestrians have been

32:15

taught the lesson of look at both ways. And

32:17

that is the. By me. That is the real

32:19

risk. When America. When you're in

32:22

another country. First of all, as

32:24

a pedestrian being in a country where they drive

32:26

on the other side of the road, it's

32:29

easy to get hit because you look the wrong

32:31

way when you cross the street, which also means

32:33

that it's probably easy for the

32:35

hitting to happen. In London, I

32:38

did not ever drive when I visited,

32:41

but as a pedestrian, when I

32:43

would cross every street, I would look down

32:45

at the

32:48

crosswalk and they would have signs everywhere

32:51

on the pavement. And

32:53

they would say, look right. Everywhere

32:55

you look, look right, look right.

32:59

None of that in New Zealand. Like

33:01

no pedestrian look right anywhere. Now, when

33:03

I got my rental car, I

33:06

mean, you're fresh off the plane. You've

33:08

flown for over 11 hours. You're

33:12

on the precipice of your wildest dreams

33:14

coming true, but you're jet

33:16

lagged and you know, it's 6 a.m.

33:20

but I don't know what. It's

33:22

the day before and what is going on. And

33:24

I get in the car and I'm

33:28

in the passenger seat. Like literally,

33:30

I've like gotten in the car completely.

33:33

So you didn't think about this until

33:35

that moment? The

33:38

thought crossed my mind, but then I'm like,

33:40

gosh, just think about it later. You

33:42

know, think about it later. And

33:45

so the later was when I was in the passenger

33:47

seat looking for the steering wheel. Because you know, when

33:49

I went to Scotland, there's

33:53

a little difference in our personalities here. And

33:55

I knew I was gonna be driving all throughout Scotland.

33:57

And then I was gonna have to drive all the

33:59

way. from the

34:02

Highlands all the way to London over the course of a

34:04

few days. I

34:07

was driving a big van. With

34:09

your extended family in tow. So

34:13

I watched videos about how to get your

34:15

brain ready for it. Even

34:18

having done that, you

34:21

prepared. I prepared and I still wasn't prepared.

34:24

The roundabouts. Oh, let me get to that.

34:27

So okay, so you prepared. I

34:29

didn't. I got out of the car. I walked

34:31

around. I got in the

34:33

driver's seat. To the left of the steering wheel, which

34:35

is the middle of the car. Crazy,

34:37

right? There's a little sticker

34:40

and it says, keep left. Somebody

34:43

put a sticker on there. Keep left. I'm

34:46

like, okay. It's that simple. It's

34:50

just that simple. Every

34:54

time I get in a rental car in

34:56

America, it takes me at least 15 minutes

34:58

to get there. To put that thing in drive. I'm

35:00

just going to say it. You

35:04

got to connect your phone with

35:06

the car play. You got

35:08

to make sure that works because you want the GPS to be there.

35:10

You don't want to be fiddle farting with that or the music. And

35:13

then, there you go. You

35:16

got to get better at the hand farts if you're going

35:19

to try to punctuate my stories with them. I'm

35:22

trying to fiddle fart. You

35:24

got to adjust the mirrors. You got to know where the

35:26

emergency brake is. You got to know how to adjust everything

35:28

so that you're not fiddle farting around once you get on

35:30

the road. So

35:33

I did all of that and then it was like,

35:35

there was a negative should be, okay, I'm putting it

35:37

in drive. Even putting it in drive with your other

35:39

hand. Not easy. It's weird. It

35:43

was like, I couldn't do it. It's

35:45

like writing a letter with your off

35:47

hand. Not quite,

35:49

but yeah. Or just writing

35:51

a letter because nobody does that anymore. It's like,

35:53

oh, awkward. I put

35:56

it in drive and I start to ease out. I

35:58

mean, the spatial. just

36:02

identity of the car is so

36:05

difficult. Every, and I'm, you

36:07

know, I'm driving to get out of an airport. This

36:10

is like the worst. It's

36:12

like the start is an

36:14

obstacle course. I mean,

36:16

there's more pedestrians walk around everywhere there than

36:18

anywhere else. And, and people who

36:20

don't know where they're going and who

36:22

are experiencing the same thing that I'm experiencing. A

36:24

bunch of Americans getting in the cars that are

36:27

going the wrong way. The majority of the earth

36:30

drives on the same side as

36:32

us. So it's

36:34

not just Americans who are figuring this crap out. What

36:36

is, what is the breakdown of that? It's

36:39

just a British thing. And then they're the

36:41

British colonies.

36:44

But they did a lot. I mean, they did a lot of colonizing.

36:46

Yeah. Well, yeah. So I don't

36:48

like, what is the percentage breakdown of that Jamie of

36:50

what, what percentage of the world drives on the right

36:52

side of the road and the left side of the

36:55

road? Let's see

36:57

here. It

36:59

looks like it doesn't give me a

37:01

percentage, but it says around 30% of

37:03

the world drives on the left.

37:06

Okay. But that's still a minority. Yeah. So yeah,

37:08

I didn't know it was that, that 70% of

37:10

the world, 70% of the people going

37:13

through there, let's just say if this is

37:15

going to work out, because I guess all of

37:17

South America drives on the right side of the

37:19

road. Yeah. I decided, you know, I'm just going

37:21

to, I'm going to get in behind somebody and

37:23

I'm going to take it slow and everything was

37:25

okay. You know, once you

37:27

got on a split lane road, it was

37:30

like two lanes in a median in the

37:32

two lanes and then it really just came

37:34

about like, okay, I want to go slow

37:36

and I want to really pace

37:38

myself and I don't want to

37:40

make my family more nervous than they already are

37:42

and should be. What did you find to be

37:45

the most challenging thing? Seen in the far left

37:47

lane when I wanted to be slow. And

37:51

then after a while, not being lulled

37:53

into getting back into the right lane

37:55

to go slow and then when, let's say.

38:00

later when I'm on a two-lane road,

38:02

not being lulled into the fact that

38:04

that right lane is oncoming traffic and

38:06

not the fast lane. That

38:09

was the first thing I was introduced to,

38:11

split-lane highway. Then

38:16

we get out into the country because we were staying outside

38:19

of Auckland. The

38:25

most bucolic scenery in the

38:28

central part of the

38:30

Northern Island is rolling

38:33

green hills with sheep and cows all

38:35

over them, and then

38:37

an occasional house. Just

38:40

not a lot more than that. Absolutely

38:42

beautiful, even if it is raining a

38:44

lot more than they said it would, which made it a

38:46

little bit depressing at first. Once

38:52

you get out of the city, there are

38:54

no stop lights. There are no

38:56

stop signs. There are just what I call

38:58

yield signs, but they look like a yield

39:00

sign and they just say, make way. What

39:04

I interpreted that to mean

39:06

was, I'm coming through, make way.

39:10

I didn't stop for anything, but I'm

39:12

pretty sure I would have yielded in a

39:14

roundabout if somebody was curving around. The roundabouts,

39:16

when you're rounding them about the opposite way,

39:19

are pretty much

39:21

a mind screw. I

39:26

was doing okay. The key was, and

39:28

I didn't watch any videos, was just

39:30

go slow. Just follow other people.

39:35

Just trust till you have to lead. Then

39:37

we had to find a pharmacy. We

39:40

went back into town and there was stress

39:43

for finding a pharmacy. The

39:47

place where the pharmacy was supposed to be wasn't

39:49

there. I'm back into town and I'm on the

39:51

left-hand side, but I have to turn right. There's

39:53

cars coming across. I

39:57

think I'm going to turn right here and now I'm like, oh

39:59

crap, no it's up. there and then I'm making

40:01

a last-second decision to

40:03

turn right across traffic

40:07

into a side street

40:09

where I think this pharmacy is back in

40:11

Auckland and I just

40:14

and I decided to pull out in front

40:16

of somebody good and so I gunned it

40:20

and make way so then I gunned

40:22

it and I turn and then I see

40:25

that there's a car in the street that's

40:27

coming out but then there's a space to the right

40:29

of the car when I'm looking at the car and

40:31

then there's a space to the left of the car.

40:34

Stay left. That's on the sticker. Stay

40:36

left. And I'm going and I just don't want to get

40:39

hit by the car that I've turned in front of and

40:41

I've literally just gun this thing and

40:44

so I make an instinctive self-preservation

40:46

decision to just go

40:48

to the right of

40:50

the guy who's stopped.

40:55

What the pedestrian didn't know was that

40:58

I was going to do this. Oh

41:00

the pedestrian is suddenly here. There was

41:02

a pedestrian walking behind the

41:05

car who was stopped that I so

41:07

he had crossed and and I should

41:09

have gone to the left where the

41:11

pedestrian had just crossed. The pedestrian was

41:13

now behind the car which he shouldn't

41:16

have been. Tall guy though. Definitely

41:19

his fault. And then

41:21

I careen right

41:24

like I didn't see him

41:26

until he was beside me like he got.

41:28

He like popped back out of the way

41:31

and like threw his arms

41:33

out. And

41:36

then he kind of faded off and he couldn't see you

41:38

in America just by looking at you. Oh

41:40

yeah. Oh yeah. And

41:43

I went another block and there was no pharmacy

41:45

there. Oh. So you

41:48

were wrong on everything. You were wrong on everything. Just

41:50

for nothing. But so I had to turn

41:52

around and I was like. What did your family

41:54

say? I was like damn I hope that pedestrian is still

41:56

not there. They

41:59

weren't. Christy just goes into

42:01

deep breathing now. Yep, good for her.

42:03

She doesn't say anything anymore. It's just...

42:09

She turns into a tea kettle. Yeah, after 23

42:11

years of marriage, she has found the best way

42:14

forward to link is deep breathing. Her eyes are,

42:16

her eyes just kind of, it's kind of like,

42:18

she's like she's a Buddha. Her eyes just get

42:20

real thin and just like, air

42:23

just seeps out forever. That's all she can do. It's

42:25

just like, talk about how you can do. Whoosh. And

42:30

it's a slow head shake. And

42:33

then she's like, at

42:35

every other time we stop, she's like, go

42:37

to that side. Go to

42:39

the left. You know, you asked for it. And I

42:41

couldn't, there's nothing I could say to her. So

42:45

that was early on in the trip. I

42:48

got better and better. I gained confidence to the point

42:50

where I was like, you know, I kind of liked

42:52

this side of the road. It's better. I

42:55

think I'll bring this back to America. I

42:57

definitely love the fact that like, there's

42:59

no stop signs, there's no stoplights.

43:01

It's all roundabouts and give ways.

43:05

There's a sense of momentum in

43:08

New Zealand. That's like, if you can

43:10

keep going, just keep going. And you might

43:12

have to slow down and like, you can do

43:15

that in a populated place. Yeah, you can't do

43:17

that in Los Angeles. It's really nice. It's

43:19

really nice. I love that. The thing that

43:21

I found the most challenging, and

43:23

I had an observer, right? Because

43:25

my brother was also driving, and we would be

43:27

sometimes he would be in the front, sometimes he

43:29

would be in the back. And

43:33

I remember we had been

43:35

driving for a couple of days and I was like talking to him and my

43:37

dad who were behind me and I was like, I think I'm getting the hang

43:39

of this. And they were like, really? Yeah.

43:42

They were like, well, what we have observed, and first of all, we were in

43:45

like rural

43:47

Scotland where I

43:49

swear the roads are not as wide as they

43:51

are. No, they're not. They weren't

43:54

there either. The roads are so tiny. They

43:57

were like, every bridge is

43:59

single, left. wheel because

44:01

you're on the right side of the car, that

44:03

your left wheel is on the line on the side

44:05

of the road. Yes, and Chris, you don't wanna get

44:08

hit by the ongoing traffic and

44:10

you're not used to accommodating for

44:12

that side of the car, you're used to accommodating

44:14

for this side of the car. Yes, so there

44:16

was a, Chris, he was like, and

44:20

even Lincoln, you know, Lincoln never speaks up

44:22

about this stuff, like he never

44:24

says anything, he's a middle child, he's like,

44:26

and then he's, and he's not even, he's

44:28

in the very back of the car, like

44:30

two rows back, alone, and all

44:33

of a sudden, I

44:35

just hear him say, dad,

44:37

you're kinda getting close to the side of the road a

44:40

lot. Yeah, yeah, it's

44:42

inevitable. You have this

44:44

instinct to stay away from,

44:47

you have this hyper awareness of oncoming

44:49

traffic, and

44:52

so you drift over there to the left to the

44:54

point where you're like, oh, I'm hitting the rumble strips

44:56

a lot. They were a rumble strips. I did that

44:59

quite a bit. I still had a lot of confidence

45:01

by the end of the thing. Chris and I had

45:03

a little getaway one morning where we got a massage

45:06

once we had gotten down to Queensland, Queenstown.

45:08

Do they start the massage on the other

45:10

side of your body? Yeah,

45:13

and we were super relaxed,

45:15

we came out of that, we get back into

45:17

the car, I'm like, we're gonna go grab some

45:19

food before we go back, and I was trying

45:21

to decide. I

45:24

pulled up to the road, it was a two lane road, and

45:26

I was trying to decide, am I gonna go left to this pizza

45:29

place, am I gonna go right to this other place? And

45:31

I was making a last second decision, and

45:34

then that's when you get into trouble.

45:37

You gotta make completely calculated

45:39

decisions. Link can't be

45:41

making a last minute decision. I thought you

45:43

already knew that. I had

45:45

confidence. That's dangerous.

45:48

And so I decide that I'm

45:50

gonna go right, and

45:53

I look to my left and there's no

45:55

car coming. Right,

45:59

in my immediate lane. on the left. But what

46:01

about to the right? Because, spoiler alert,

46:03

cars don't come towards you

46:05

on the left lane. On the immediate

46:07

lane. Everyone else is also driving on the left

46:10

side of the road. So

46:12

I looked left, there was nobody coming because no one would

46:14

ever be coming in that lane. And I

46:17

start turning right. Instinctively, again, I just

46:19

reverted and immediately, like

46:21

someone was laid on the horn,

46:23

slammed on brakes, and I slam

46:25

on brakes. And it's a really

46:28

nice Land Rover, which goes past

46:30

me and then slams

46:32

completely on brakes in the

46:34

road and stops to my left.

46:36

And gets out. The car stops

46:38

and there's this moment where it's like, oh,

46:41

he still stops. He

46:43

still stops. Oh, his

46:45

caution lights are on. He's

46:48

getting out of his truck and

46:51

he's in a huff. He's

46:54

an old man. He's kind of like hunched

46:56

over. His shirts tucked into his

46:58

pants and his pants are up really high. That he

47:00

just shit in a little. Right. And he starts coming

47:02

up to the nearest side of the car, which

47:09

is Christie's side of the car, and she

47:11

rolls her window down. Now, if you remember,

47:13

many years ago, the altercation that I had

47:16

at the gas station with the guy that

47:18

I honked the horn at, who

47:20

came back in to approach me, he

47:24

came to Christie's side and I rolled her window

47:26

down. And I've gotten a lot of shit for

47:28

that ever since because I put her in harm's

47:30

way by rolling the window down. So

47:33

in this instance, I remember

47:35

that in that moment. That's

47:37

good. In fairness, the dude was probably 80.

47:40

He was walking slow enough that I could have beat him. I

47:42

started to develop a plan. And as Christie was

47:44

rolling down the window, I said, don't

47:47

roll your window down. And I started, I hit the

47:49

button to roll her window up, which froze the window

47:51

at her eye level. And

47:53

then she looked at me and I was like, oh yeah.

47:56

And she let go and the window goes up. And

47:58

then I... gesture to

48:00

the guy, come over to

48:02

my side. Oh, okay, all right. So now we're talking.

48:05

Then I roll my window down to

48:08

eye level. I'm not gonna give

48:10

him a full window where

48:12

he can get his 80-year-old fist

48:15

through into my face. He

48:17

would have to take his 80-year-old fist, bring it

48:20

up above his shoulder level, and then come down.

48:22

You probably can't do that. And then the blow

48:24

would have been, it would have

48:26

been much more gentle. So

48:28

I was pretty strategic. And

48:31

you could trap his hand. And I could try to get his trap

48:33

his hand, that's right. I see where you're going

48:35

with this. So I roll my window down just to eye

48:37

level because

48:39

I thought out of respect. I don't want him to have to look

48:41

at me through a window. Out of respect. He's

48:45

yelling at me before he gets up

48:47

to the window. But I

48:50

don't know if it was because he was old

48:52

or because of his accent, but I

48:55

could not understand a word this dude

48:57

was saying. I just can't guess,

48:59

I'm just gonna get that what you do. Hey,

49:02

hey, hey. Okay,

49:04

he's a smoker. And

49:06

I just waited for a gap in

49:09

his tirade. And I said,

49:12

I'm sorry, sir. And

49:14

then he goes back into it again. Well,

49:16

it didn't bring him down a notch at

49:18

all because he heard your accent. Yeah, yeah.

49:21

Just as I suspected. I had no clue

49:24

what he was saying again. And then I

49:26

waited for another gap and I said, yes,

49:29

sir. And then

49:31

he walked back to his car, which is still in

49:33

the middle of the road, gets back

49:35

in and drives off. And I

49:37

look over at Christy and he's, God

49:41

bless that woman. Just released.

49:44

There's a special place in heaven. There's

49:47

a special place in heaven for

49:49

Christy Neal. Thank God that I did not

49:51

hit that guy. Thank

49:54

God. Think the key we

49:56

got. Ear

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51:52

think it's pretty crazy. all

51:56

the lifetimes are free now, To be honest, a

51:58

round barrier is aans Oh, windows sign alpha It's

52:00

dangerous to just let somebody do that. I'm

52:04

actually surprised. I'm not surprised that we don't

52:06

require any sort of steps

52:09

in America. There should be a court. You can't

52:11

do anything in America. Like you get the rental

52:14

car at the airport and you

52:16

should have to go through training. Responsible

52:18

countries like New Zealand, it just feels

52:20

like there should be

52:22

something. See that's where

52:24

you're gonna rent a car, you have to watch this

52:26

video. This is where you're wrong. Oh

52:29

come on. New Zealand is

52:32

not that type of country.

52:34

New Zealand, as I discovered,

52:36

is a fun, loving country

52:38

of positivity. Everybody's

52:41

happy, everybody's barefoot,

52:43

walking around, smiling, having a

52:45

good time. The friendliest people.

52:47

You go into a pharmacy

52:49

when you initially, you eventually

52:52

find one and you know

52:54

what happens? The pharmacist comes

52:56

out from behind the coucher.

52:58

Barefoot? Barefoot. And

53:01

she starts telling you about all

53:03

the drugs that can help whatever type

53:05

of hay fever your son is dealing

53:08

with and spends time. How does she

53:10

know that hay fever? She just knows it when

53:12

he walks in? He went to the hay

53:14

fever door. We had a conversation. Oh okay. That

53:16

was the thing, it's like they're so freakin' helpful

53:18

there and friendly. You made it sound like she

53:20

was, you

53:22

know. Clairvoyant. Clairvoyant? They're

53:25

clairvoyant over there. They're

53:29

super helpful and they like

53:31

to have fun, dude. This

53:34

is the place where bungee jumping was

53:36

invented. Now technically bungee jumping was invented

53:38

in Vanuatu by a woman

53:42

who wanted to get away from her horrible

53:44

husband and

53:46

she survived the fall, the guy didn't, so then

53:48

women started tying vines to their feet and jumping

53:51

off towers and they built out of twigs. And

53:54

then men eventually said, hey, you women

53:56

are looking way too cool doing this,

53:58

so we're gonna take that. from you

54:00

and now we're gonna be the ones to do it, which is

54:02

what they did. But then, I

54:06

mean there was some Kiwi dude who basically

54:09

turned that into a tourism

54:11

sport of bungee jumping, which we

54:13

saw firsthand over like people

54:16

jumping off a bridge and

54:18

you could jump into the, you could

54:20

dip your toe, not your toe, that would

54:23

be jumping backwards. Your head. You could dip your head

54:25

into the water if you wanted to. You could dunk

54:27

your whole body into the water. You didn't do that

54:29

though. No bungees. I didn't want to do it because

54:31

I want you and me to

54:33

do that because I'm gonna have to do that

54:35

for a bonafide video if I'm gonna do something

54:37

that crazy, but this is where they

54:40

invented it. You can also do it naked there.

54:43

If you want to strip down nude, they

54:45

will allow that. I don't want to put

54:47

my eye out. Officially. You

54:55

should fly your, I should fly my own bungee cord

54:57

for that one. I

54:59

think they got it. Hand

55:06

fart noise. The

55:09

thing that we did do on the shot

55:11

over river was we, and

55:15

they tell you you got to do this, they

55:17

invented this type of boat called a jet boat.

55:19

Oh I've seen the video. It's basically a jet

55:21

ski with stadium seating

55:23

for like 16 people

55:26

and you go on a river and do 360s. Whoa.

55:31

And these are

55:33

like tight gorges and these things

55:35

can go. You can't drive it

55:37

though right? No, no, no, no.

55:39

Professional drivers and you just buy a

55:41

$189 ticket to sit in there for a 25

55:44

minute ride and it is, we did this

55:46

as a family and it was.

55:48

Christy went on this. Christy went on it and she said you

55:50

know what I'm excited to go on this. You weren't driving.

55:53

Yeah.

55:56

They can go in like a foot

55:58

of water. Because this jet

56:00

ski Yeah, it it pulls

56:03

water in and then shoots it out these jets

56:05

that are like, you know, the

56:07

it's a low profile and

56:09

they go fast and they can turn on the dime

56:11

like literally 360 and you're

56:15

going through these tight gorges and they the

56:17

pilot Makes it look like the

56:19

front of this thing is gonna hit the side

56:21

of the gorge and then you're like you're like

56:23

skidding out and it was

56:25

super thrilling but when we

56:27

were watching other people do it waiting in

56:29

the line and There's

56:33

no orientation There's I'm

56:36

pretty sure there was no waiver to

56:38

sign Now we got

56:40

in a line. They said Anything

56:43

that's valuable anything that you

56:45

don't want to get wet you can put in

56:47

a locker and then you put on a You

56:51

put on a PFD they did they did

56:53

put a life vest on you and then

56:55

you get in You sit down and

56:57

then the pilot just holds up a placard It's

57:00

like keep your arms inside of the vehicle You

57:04

don't want to put your arms on the outside that

57:06

the difference between an Aussie accent and

57:08

a Kiwi accent as far as I

57:10

can tell is just the Inflection at

57:12

the end so and keep your

57:14

legs inside of the vehicle is my

57:17

Aussie accent It's great, isn't it? My

57:20

Kiwi accent is keep your legs inside

57:22

of the vehicle That's

57:24

that's the difference. Okay, it's all that's the

57:26

only difference in accents, okay That

57:31

is the only thing that he

57:33

told us There was

57:35

no seat belt There

57:37

was a bar and he said when I do this

57:40

making a circular symbol that means they're gonna do a 360 and You

57:45

might want to hold on at that point Yeah,

57:48

you know that is the safety

57:50

orientation, right? I mean, I mean

57:52

in America, I guarantee you I'd had to go

57:54

through a class and I guarantee you I'd be

57:56

wearing a seat belt Now maybe there's something about

57:58

being a boat and If it turns over, you'd rather

58:01

get tossed out. I don't know, but that's why you don't

58:03

wear seat belts and boats. You

58:07

still wear one in America. My point

58:10

still kind of stands. They

58:12

like to have fun over there. We had a

58:14

blast. Chrissy loved that. I was like, you love that?

58:16

You're afraid of flying. You're afraid of going in caves.

58:18

You're afraid of a lot of stuff. And I respect

58:20

that. Some of this stuff

58:23

isn't for everybody. But

58:25

this was an extreme boating activity. She was

58:27

like, I just love being on the water.

58:30

I'm like, what? Okay, wow. You gotta get a

58:32

boat, man. I was like, well, I gotta get

58:34

you on a boat, girl. And

58:37

then when we got off land, it was like, this

58:39

is the best thing I've ever done. You

58:41

have those moments where you're like, where

58:45

the kids are just exuberant about

58:47

something. Lily was absolutely exuberant about

58:50

Hobbiton. When we took

58:52

a tour to Isengard, we freaking showed

58:54

up where Saruman's

58:58

Tower was. Of

59:00

course, there's not one there. It's actually like

59:02

a riverbed. Super

59:05

picturesque. Were they just kind of digitized it?

59:07

Yeah, where they digitized it in. But we

59:09

literally went there. And

59:12

so to watch the kids just

59:14

be ecstatic about it, Lincoln and

59:16

I went scuba diving at Poor

59:18

Night's Islands, which is like an

59:20

amazing scuba diving experience. Scuba

59:24

diving with these rays and

59:26

lots of fish and... How

59:28

cold was water? It was about the

59:30

same as he would wear like a seven

59:32

mil wetsuit. He

59:36

had a head cold leading up to it. I had convinced him

59:38

that, listen, you're probably just gonna have to snorkel. You're not gonna

59:40

be able to go because you're not gonna be able to clear

59:43

to equalize. But

59:46

he was able to and he was able to go. For

59:50

each kid to have their moment and for Christy

59:52

to have her boat moment. As

59:57

a dad, the thing that I started doing was looking

59:59

at the... the moments where the kids were

1:00:01

deciding to take photos. Like

1:00:03

that's telling, you know, it's like when they feel

1:00:06

like something's photo worthy. So

1:00:08

it was nice to see each of them kind of pick

1:00:10

their moments and Lando's was the jet

1:00:13

boat. But

1:00:16

they do love having fun down there and they want you

1:00:18

to jump off of stuff. The

1:00:21

most thrilling thing for me was

1:00:23

we went to Y2MO Kays,

1:00:25

Y2MO, I don't know. Went to

1:00:27

Y2MO? Went to Y2MO. And

1:00:31

so we put on

1:00:33

wetsuits, we got in inner tubes and

1:00:35

we hiked down into caves where there's

1:00:37

like water rushing through it and

1:00:41

we like inner tube into

1:00:44

the darkness and

1:00:47

saw glow worms on the ceiling when

1:00:50

like we killed our headlamps. This is like. These

1:00:53

are real? Two and a half hours. Yes,

1:00:56

these are real. Glow worms are real? Glow worms

1:00:58

are real and it was like. How big are they? They're

1:01:01

really small and you kill

1:01:04

off all the lights and you're

1:01:06

like drifting in this pitch black cave

1:01:08

river stream. And

1:01:11

it just looks like constellations. I

1:01:15

mean, that

1:01:17

was my favorite thing because it was so

1:01:19

otherworldly and unlike anything I had ever done,

1:01:22

like caves are so cool and like there

1:01:24

were certain points where there would be like waterfalls

1:01:27

where you had to line up

1:01:29

and put your back to the

1:01:32

waterfall with the inner tube around your

1:01:34

butt and jump

1:01:36

backwards into darkness and land

1:01:39

in like two meters is pretty far

1:01:42

to jump backwards. It's my height. Yeah,

1:01:46

so we jumped off of a couple of

1:01:48

waterfalls, one that was that tall. How

1:01:50

cold was that water? That was

1:01:52

colder. That was, it was probably. So they

1:01:54

give you six for that. Oh yeah. Yeah.

1:01:58

And that was. Really

1:02:00

and the glow worms as it turns out are just

1:02:03

maggots. They're just flies little maggots.

1:02:05

They're they're fly larva

1:02:09

that poop out a

1:02:12

glowy substance that is a

1:02:16

lure for The

1:02:19

stuff that they eat like little flies and

1:02:21

stuff insects to go in there and they

1:02:23

go towards the the glowy thing But then

1:02:25

they've dropped another string like a silk string

1:02:27

and they get catch them they catch them

1:02:29

in that and then they slurp Them up

1:02:31

and they eat them and they eat these

1:02:33

things until they get enough strength to Go

1:02:36

into a cocoon and then they they take

1:02:38

that strength of eating that stuff They make

1:02:41

a cocoon and then they come out the

1:02:43

other side as a male or female Fly

1:02:46

and then they just they get together You

1:02:50

really listen to the door guide all the

1:02:52

and then they they mate And

1:02:54

then the male dies because he doesn't have

1:02:56

any more energy You know

1:02:58

because you know how much energy it takes Everything

1:03:01

you got especially on the ceiling and then

1:03:03

the female takes the energy She's got and

1:03:06

she she lays like a whole

1:03:08

slurry of eggs up there on

1:03:11

the ceiling and then the first and then she dies and

1:03:14

then the first one that hatches Eats

1:03:17

all the other ones before they hatch so

1:03:19

that he can get enough energy to poop

1:03:22

out some glow shit Instead

1:03:24

the whole freaking process over again. What is the point

1:03:26

of life? All

1:03:30

of the beauty of nature is for sex or

1:03:32

death. It's for perpetuation They

1:03:36

don't even get enough energy when

1:03:38

they turn into flies to develop

1:03:41

eyes or mouths They

1:03:43

cannot see or eat All

1:03:46

they can do is screw and die

1:03:50

There are worse things Would

1:03:53

you rather only be able to eat or only be able to screw and

1:03:55

it was beautiful Ask a worm.

1:03:57

It was the most beautiful thing I've ever in

1:04:00

a cave. Yeah. We

1:04:03

had a wonderful time. It was probably the best trip

1:04:05

I've ever been on. Wow. Yeah.

1:04:09

So it's better than Australia. It

1:04:12

was action packed and... It

1:04:15

was more catered towards actual just the enjoyment

1:04:17

part whereas when we were in Australia we

1:04:19

were also touring and... Right, right, right. Not

1:04:21

that that isn't incredibly enjoyable but it's

1:04:23

work at the same time. Right. But

1:04:26

in activities we did like Hobbiton was one of a

1:04:28

kind, the Glowworm Cave was one of a kind, the

1:04:31

Scuba Location one of a kind and then

1:04:33

like all of the other Lord of the Rings stuff was really

1:04:35

amazing. So like... You

1:04:38

recommend that. I loved it. I

1:04:40

love it. I want to go back. I would definitely

1:04:42

go back to Queenstown. I

1:04:45

loved it there. It was beautiful. I'd

1:04:47

like to visit Wellington. Didn't get to go there. Well

1:04:50

I didn't go to New Zealand. No

1:04:52

you didn't. Or Old Zealand. I

1:04:55

went to North Carolina. That's

1:04:57

okay. I

1:05:00

told you that I

1:05:02

wanted to have a staycation. That

1:05:05

was the plan where we were going to go to North Carolina for

1:05:07

a few days and then come back to LA and you said, well

1:05:10

you can tell them. Treat it like a tourist would

1:05:12

treat the city. Well that's a

1:05:15

great plan until your son gets the flu. Yeah.

1:05:19

And Locke getting the flu really

1:05:22

put a damper on the family plans. What

1:05:27

were you going to do? Walk around Hollywood Boulevard?

1:05:29

No, well we ended up going... We

1:05:32

went to like... I had never been to

1:05:34

the Getty Villa. Oh

1:05:36

yeah. Which is very cool. We

1:05:38

did do that. We did do that. We

1:05:42

were going to do that

1:05:44

light show thing at Descanso but like

1:05:47

actually that night it was

1:05:49

just a pain. That's why we didn't go. That was

1:05:51

before Christmas. But we had, you know, we

1:05:53

went to a couple of restaurants and the

1:05:56

Lakers Clippers game that we went to last night

1:05:59

was the last... thing to do during the

1:06:01

break or whatever. But the

1:06:03

big plan that we had was to have, and this

1:06:06

is Jesse's idea, and I kind of was reluctant, but

1:06:08

I ended up going along with it, was to have

1:06:10

a New Year's party, a New Year's Eve party. And

1:06:14

a big one, right? Well, it started

1:06:16

as let's have some friends over, and

1:06:18

then it turned into, well, let's

1:06:20

invite, you know, let's invite this person,

1:06:22

let's invite this person. And

1:06:24

then it was like a last minute thing. There's a

1:06:26

certain type of friend that's the threshold friend that if

1:06:28

you think about it, inviting them, then all of a

1:06:30

sudden the floodgates open. Right, and it was,

1:06:33

and you don't tell them that type of

1:06:36

friend. Two weeks before, I mean, this announcement

1:06:38

comes out two weeks before New

1:06:40

Year's Eve. So this is basically, if

1:06:42

you don't have plans, long

1:06:46

story short, when

1:06:48

Locke got the flu, he was still pretty much in the

1:06:50

throes of it at that time. And we were like, well,

1:06:52

we might get the flu. Maybe we've got the flu and

1:06:54

we don't know that we've got the flu yet. We don't

1:06:56

need to invite a bunch of people to our house to

1:06:58

all get the flu for the beginning of the year. So

1:07:01

we, actually

1:07:04

rescheduled the party. So now you can come.

1:07:06

Yes. It's a... Saturday.

1:07:10

Oh. Yeah. Oh,

1:07:14

okay. You're invited. Oh, thank you. You're

1:07:16

probably already, your family via your wife

1:07:18

probably already knows this. Okay. I

1:07:22

kind of thought I'd be snowboarding, but maybe I'll be there. Well,

1:07:25

if you're snowboarding, it's fine. Okay. So

1:07:28

the... But

1:07:31

what we ended up doing, because as

1:07:34

the date approached, and Jesse and I were not

1:07:36

sick and Locke was getting better, but we

1:07:38

basically already said, hey, we're not doing the party.

1:07:42

Our good friends, Ralph and Heather, were like, well,

1:07:44

if you guys wanna come over on New

1:07:47

Year's Eve, we can hang out on New Year's Eve, just

1:07:50

us. And

1:07:52

Ralph really wants to cook. He's

1:07:55

a good cook. He's a great

1:07:57

cook. And anytime Ralph says that he...

1:08:00

wants to cook. Ralph puts my

1:08:02

little chicken sandwiches and

1:08:04

paella and all the five

1:08:06

things that I've tried to perfect, puts

1:08:09

it all to shame. Because I do

1:08:11

this big thing that everyone can

1:08:13

eat all at the same time. And

1:08:16

Ralph was like, I'm doing

1:08:18

a coarsed meal. Let

1:08:21

me just show you one course. This

1:08:24

isn't someone's home. This is just Ralph and

1:08:26

his kitchen making stuff

1:08:29

and then bringing it to the table. Wow,

1:08:32

there's three plates stacked there. And

1:08:35

so this, my friend, is

1:08:37

teetering bacon. So

1:08:40

this is lobster, butter

1:08:42

poached lobster, and then on top

1:08:44

of it, that's potatoes,

1:08:48

teetering taters, and then some

1:08:51

sort of leeks or something and some sort

1:08:53

of beets. This

1:08:55

is just one of like seven, this man's

1:08:57

a maniac. Wow. And

1:09:00

it was just for us. And

1:09:04

he had the French Laundry Cookbook.

1:09:07

Now just so you understand, like this is

1:09:09

like one of the best restaurants in the world. It's

1:09:11

the kind of thing that if I were to look

1:09:13

at the French Laundry Cookbook, I would be lost

1:09:15

immediately and not able to follow any of

1:09:17

the steps because it requires all this background

1:09:21

culinary knowledge that he just has. Well, you

1:09:23

have to be Swiss. More

1:09:25

French. And he's Swiss

1:09:27

though. He's Swiss.

1:09:30

And it was freaking incredible. And

1:09:32

I was just like, I was, I kept

1:09:35

telling him, I was like, Ralph, this is so much

1:09:37

better than it needs

1:09:39

to be. You know what I'm saying? Like,

1:09:41

hey, we didn't need it to be this

1:09:44

excellent of an experience. And

1:09:46

then we were all joking about Ralph,

1:09:48

you should open a restaurant. And then we

1:09:50

realized it would just be called Ralph's. And

1:09:52

then we realized that that's a grocery store. And so it

1:09:55

would be confusing. And so then we

1:09:57

determined that it would be called Ralph's. And then

1:09:59

in parentheses, not. the grocery store, the restaurant.

1:10:01

It kind of undersells it, but it's

1:10:04

good to lower expectations. So

1:10:06

anyway. Better than it needs to be. That

1:10:10

was, I gotta say, you know me, I like to eat.

1:10:13

That was the highlight of my break

1:10:15

was the food, and specifically the food

1:10:17

provided to me by my

1:10:20

Swiss friend, Ralph. The

1:10:22

highlight of New Zealand was not the food for me. You

1:10:24

notice I didn't talk about that at all. They call burgers

1:10:27

with chicken chicken burgers. They call

1:10:29

chicken sandwiches chicken burgers. Okay. I

1:10:33

don't love that. You don't tip there. It's

1:10:37

included in the... Well, there's no tipping.

1:10:39

So as nice as everybody is... Well, that

1:10:42

means they probably pay people fair wages. I

1:10:44

do think that that is what happens, but

1:10:47

as nice as everybody was, the service

1:10:49

was not great at restaurants. This

1:10:52

is like people don't expect it to be that

1:10:54

great. And because they're not...

1:10:56

I think that the tipping thing is part of that. I

1:11:00

know that you were more in like adventure mode,

1:11:02

but when you were in the

1:11:06

cities, was there like, tonight

1:11:08

we're going to this nice restaurant.

1:11:10

Yeah. I ate some

1:11:12

of the best Indian food I've ever had. Okay. I

1:11:15

mean, it's gonna sound like I'm talking about London here.

1:11:17

I also ate some of the worst Indian food I've

1:11:19

ever had too, but it was just... No, you went

1:11:21

Indian. We were outside of town. Well, yeah. I mean,

1:11:23

the best thing that they have are

1:11:26

meat pies and

1:11:28

you can just get them everywhere. Gas

1:11:30

stations, it's very similar to Australia. We

1:11:33

need that here. We need more meat

1:11:35

pies. Now there's certain... You

1:11:37

can find a couple of places that'll

1:11:40

have a meat pie, but like have them

1:11:42

everywhere, like steak and cheese, venison and plum.

1:11:44

You got good coffee though, right? And then

1:11:46

coffee, just like in our experience

1:11:49

in Australia, especially Melbourne, like they

1:11:51

care about coffee. Every sign, like

1:11:54

when you're driving down the road, there'll be signs for

1:11:56

two things, coffee

1:11:58

and toilets. They care about

1:12:00

and those things go ahead and hand in hand. But

1:12:04

as a coffee neater, as a coffee

1:12:07

addict, that matters to me.

1:12:10

Where am I going to get my next coffee? Where's it

1:12:12

going to come from? You never have to worry about that

1:12:14

in New Zealand because everybody's constantly worrying about it. The

1:12:18

thing that gets me about toilets though

1:12:20

is that they call bathrooms toilets. I

1:12:22

don't like that. What

1:12:25

do they call the toilet, the commode?

1:12:28

They just call it, I don't know, I guess

1:12:30

they call it toilets. I mean it is a

1:12:32

toilet but like, and there's signs everywhere that it's

1:12:35

like toilets. It's like, don't, gah. Yeah, I

1:12:37

don't want to think about toilets. Don't say, don't

1:12:40

say toilets. You could say, restroom,

1:12:43

bathroom. But they don't think about it in the same way.

1:12:45

No, and they say it to you too. It's like, toilet,

1:12:49

they say it. They say the

1:12:51

word toilet. But it makes more sense. How

1:12:53

often do you bathe in

1:12:56

the bathroom? The restroom, that's nice. Oh,

1:12:58

a little respite here. Take

1:13:00

a little seat. How often do you rest? I

1:13:02

saw a guy at the

1:13:05

Getty Villa who came into the restroom

1:13:08

while I was in there and boy

1:13:10

did he rest when he urinated. You

1:13:13

know, like putting your arm up on the wall

1:13:15

over the urinal and just going, ahh. Like

1:13:19

getting ready to nap, standing up while you're

1:13:21

pissed? Yeah. What is that

1:13:23

about? That's some really breathtaking art. And

1:13:25

he was just, you know, completely pooped.

1:13:28

I think some people when they release down there,

1:13:31

it just ripples through everything. But why you gotta

1:13:33

put your whole, it was like arm

1:13:35

on the wall, head into the arm. It

1:13:37

was just like, ahh.

1:13:40

It's like he was

1:13:42

experiencing the best thing ever and it is

1:13:44

pleasurable. You were jealous. But I

1:13:46

don't want to be touching, no. Why

1:13:49

do people when they're at a

1:13:51

water fountain, like, suckle?

1:13:56

They like push and then they'll just

1:13:59

like. grade school man. Well

1:14:02

go to an airport. Let me

1:14:04

tell ya. Yeah yeah I don't get on those water fowls

1:14:06

at airports man. Alright and that

1:14:08

leads me to my wreck this week. Wreck

1:14:12

baby wreck baby first one of 2024 for me. I

1:14:15

know this is our second episode but the first one

1:14:17

we've done in 2024. Never

1:14:20

use the shorter water

1:14:24

fowl. Because

1:14:26

more people suck on it. That's

1:14:30

my belief. That is my belief. I

1:14:33

mean because of kids. Kids

1:14:35

will suck on a water fowl. Kids will suck on a water

1:14:37

fowl. And if there's two,

1:14:40

go to the higher one. And then I

1:14:42

always do. Yeah you do. I

1:14:46

guess I'm in the clear. You still look like a giraffe at a

1:14:48

stream. So

1:14:50

we're back at it y'all. We survived.

1:14:53

The family survived. See

1:15:00

that's what Christy does. Slow

1:15:03

breath out. I love New Zealand. I

1:15:05

highly recommend it. Um,

1:15:08

me too. Alright

1:15:13

let us know hashtag of your biscuits what you

1:15:15

thinking about all this. Remember leave us a review

1:15:17

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a question or a comment just want to

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tell us something then you can call the

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voicemail number at 1-888-EER-POD-1. Talk

1:15:40

at you next week. Hi Rhett and Link.

1:15:43

I am stuck in traffic and

1:15:46

I just wanted to say that

1:15:48

I don't think I could get

1:15:50

through bumper to bumper traffic for

1:15:52

40 minutes in a sane healthy

1:15:57

well behaved manner at work if I did.

1:16:00

have your best guess.