0:00

This, this, this, this is

0:02

mythical. Ear

0:05

Biscuits is supported by the farmer's dog.

0:07

Dogs will eat basically anything you put

0:09

in front of them. And if you're

0:11

Barbara, you will like seek

0:14

it out off of tables, counters, that

0:16

woman is crazy. That woman

0:18

being my dog. So it's important

0:21

to be putting the right kind of food in

0:23

their bowls. Right, and when you care about your

0:25

dogs as much as we care about ours, you

0:27

know, a thoughtful approach to what

0:29

goes in those bowls makes

0:32

sense. Yes, the farmer's dog is

0:34

real, fresh, healthy food with whole

0:36

meat and veggies gently cooked in

0:38

human grade kitchens to preserve their

0:40

nutritional value. Just tell them about

0:42

your dog and they'll deliver personalized vet developed

0:44

recipes for as little as $2 a day.

0:47

The meals arrive pre-portioned and in ready

0:49

to serve packs delivered on your schedule.

0:51

Millions of meals have been ordered across

0:54

the country. We've been partnering with the

0:56

farmer's dog for a few years now

0:58

and they really are as good as

1:01

they say. It really has never been

1:03

easier to invest in your dog's health

1:05

with fresh food. Get 50% off your

1:08

first box of fresh, healthy food at

1:10

thefarmersdog.com/ear. Welcome to

1:12

Ear Biscuits, the podcast where two

1:16

lifelong friends talk about life for a long

1:18

time. I'm Rhett. And

1:21

I'm Jessie. You

1:24

gotta say this week at the round table of 10. I

1:26

knew you weren't paying attention. Welcome

1:30

to Ear Biscuits, the podcast where two lifelong

1:32

friends talk about life for a long time.

1:35

I'm Rhett. And I'm Jessie. And

1:39

this week, we are, sorry.

1:44

Welcome to Ear Biscuits, the podcast where two

1:47

lifelong friends talk about life for a long

1:49

time. I'm Rhett. And I'm Jessie.

1:51

And today at the

1:53

round table of dim lighting. Well,

1:55

it's really this week, but you can say today because technically it

1:57

is today. Today at the

2:00

round table. We are going to

2:02

be talking about personality

2:04

characteristics. That's right. We

2:06

don't have any of those. None. Zero.

2:09

Personality less. Both of us. And

2:13

it didn't take us about

2:15

12 minutes of

2:18

recording to get to this point. No,

2:22

that didn't happen. And we're not going to show you

2:24

any of that. It's

2:27

a good day. It's a good day to be here,

2:29

Rhett. This is

2:32

the day the board has made. It is. And

2:34

we'll rejoice and be glad in it. An

2:37

interesting thing happened, right? First of all,

2:39

Jesse is here because Link has retired.

2:42

No, Link is on vacation. He'll

2:47

probably talk about this when he comes back. It's

2:49

spring break. He's on

2:51

vacation by himself. Not

2:54

the whole time. It's Lando's spring

2:56

break. He and Christy and Lando

2:59

did some stuff. Now he's doing some

3:01

stuff alone that I'm sure he's generating

3:04

all kinds of great podcast fodder as

3:07

we speak. But I thought

3:09

you could join me again for the

3:12

second time. I

3:15

thought it was a good... When you asked me to come

3:17

on, I was like, wait, I'm going to get to see

3:19

you and talk to you in the middle

3:21

of a work day. And I was excited about

3:23

that. But now, after the way it started,

3:25

I don't know if I'm... It started great. I'm

3:28

excited about that. It started great. And

3:31

one of the things that happened right before it started was

3:34

we printed some things out and

3:36

the attention got a little bit high

3:39

as Jesse was trying to send me

3:41

the thing for me to print

3:43

out because my computer is connected

3:45

to the network here. And

3:47

the first thing that I ended up printing out,

3:50

she texted me... This was not my fault.

3:52

I would like to make that clear. She texted

3:54

me a PDF. Yes, I did text you a PDF.

3:58

And then I clicked on it to print. And

4:01

all it did was print our text history

4:05

for the past week. And that went out

4:07

into the bullpen. And the

4:10

very first, I'm just going to show you, you

4:12

can see right here, Purple Heart. I

4:14

don't think you need to read it. I think it's good.

4:16

I think the story is good enough. Recently, when

4:19

Jessie was out of town

4:21

on Monday,

4:23

she texted me, I love

4:26

you. And then there

4:28

was a follow-up text. These came in quick succession.

4:31

That was sweet. I miss you. Nice

4:33

again. I want to kiss you. Oh, well.

4:38

And then there was a... Jessie! There

4:40

was about an hour. And then she said, are you

4:42

there? Do

4:45

you like how I was aggressive? I

4:47

didn't say, do you not want to

4:49

kiss me? I just asked if you

4:52

were there. And then she said, I

4:54

was in therapy. I love and

4:56

miss and want to kiss you too. That

4:59

was sweet. And

5:02

then you said, how did it go? And I

5:04

said, good. How

5:07

many of these are you going to read? And

5:10

then you said, that's all I get. And

5:13

the reason is that I had moved on to

5:15

something else. I don't have that. I don't know

5:17

what. Anyway, that's a little insight into our relationship.

5:23

I don't have anything to say about that. I'm

5:26

so glad that you're here. I like spending time with

5:28

you. Our son is

5:30

out of town right now. Yep. We're like little empty

5:33

nesters. This is what it's going to be like in

5:35

a few years. Us just doing

5:37

podcasts? Well, just like last

5:39

night, we went out to eat together.

5:41

We did. And

5:44

we were going to, we were going to, we,

5:46

we've made plans to sit up by the fire and

5:49

just talk about life. For

5:52

a long time. But we're going to do

5:54

that right now. I didn't want

5:57

To. Tell the story because I think given where we're going to

5:59

go. On his podcast and

6:01

talking about these personality characteristics. I'm.

6:04

Refraining from using the term personality test

6:06

because I know that's a turn off

6:09

or a lot of people and I

6:11

promise you, That. This

6:13

conversation. And. The test that

6:15

we're going we talking about stand the best

6:18

chance at being the personality test for people

6:20

who do not like personality tests and people

6:22

who do not trust personality to sit Said.

6:24

I am one as that people who

6:26

implicitly. Trust. Us Essence

6:28

implicitly trust but I do love

6:30

to personality tests and as try

6:33

them are love a mile Of

6:35

course the any a gram is

6:37

my favorite even as people do.

6:39

You have all kinds of. Issues

6:42

with the any a gram that

6:44

at it and at i saw

6:46

it. Let's. Talk personality

6:49

test. But let's talk about

6:51

the personality test that is

6:53

actually scientifically bat data driven

6:55

cel people who ah value

6:57

that to the time. One

7:00

of those people. And

7:02

will will. Will. Be

7:04

cool with others at evidence based

7:06

Reasons to believe that anyone can

7:08

benefit from. The. Converse with. That's

7:10

right. But before that. It's

7:14

been it's been a while but says you don't come

7:17

on a per hour mark in very often is my

7:19

second land fresh stored every one else and I was

7:21

like a little bit about our Valentine's Day. Night

7:24

Date. Or little

7:26

dinner that a dinner date that we went on. And.

7:31

I don't know what the term for this is, but.

7:34

You. Know you Sometimes you show up at a

7:36

restaurant. And.

7:39

The. Seating Arrangement. Is

7:41

it hot French cafe seating where you

7:43

feel I'm as you family style. Well.

7:46

I'm. talking about french cafe where there's tables

7:49

and you're sitting across from each other which

7:51

you feel like you're closer to the person

7:53

next to you than the person you're with

7:55

right you know talking about us that is

7:58

my least favorite seating arrangement I

8:00

didn't go to the restaurant to meet new

8:03

people. I went to the

8:05

restaurant to spend time with the

8:07

person that I went to the restaurant with. To have

8:09

a conversation. To have a conversation

8:11

with them. Not to hear the conversation of people

8:13

next to me. I don't know what it is

8:15

about French people. I've only been to France one

8:17

time. And I don't

8:19

even know if I'm saying the right thing about French

8:21

cafe style seating. But

8:23

y'all gotta get, if you're a restaurateur and you

8:26

are making your floor plan for how people are

8:28

gonna sit together, do

8:30

not do that crap. Well you get more people in. I

8:32

mean that is one of the reasons. More dissatisfied

8:35

people. They're trying to make a

8:37

buck, which is what restaurants are, one of

8:39

the things restaurants are supposed to do. And

8:41

I know this about you. And so every

8:43

time we go to a restaurant, I

8:46

don't love that style of seating either. Like

8:48

I would never choose that style. You don't

8:50

love it. Don't you hate it too? I don't love it. Well

8:52

I hate it. But I'm aware of that. And

8:55

every time we go to a restaurant, I

8:57

have a, like when we walk in, there's a

9:00

little bit of like, uh oh. Are they gonna

9:02

put us at a, put

9:04

us besides, like very close to

9:06

another couple. And is

9:08

rec gonna be okay? Just

9:11

so you know, I'm managing your

9:13

anxiety when we go to a restaurant. I'm

9:16

trying to. Well this restaurant, which

9:18

will remain nameless, and also I

9:20

will never return to again. Maybe

9:24

just not on Valentine's Day. Maybe

9:26

that's specifically why this

9:29

was the way it was. I didn't

9:31

like anything about it. Okay. But the

9:33

main thing I didn't like about it was they

9:35

didn't just put us at French cafe seating. So you

9:38

gotta set it up. We walk in, we

9:40

get into the front door. The

9:43

outside was beautiful. There

9:45

was, you know, a host and hostess.

9:47

Everybody was dressed up. Why

9:51

are you laughing at that? You really set it up. I'm

9:53

trying to, yeah. Everybody was dressed up. I'm

9:55

painting a picture. You

9:58

know, we had dressed. I dressed up more

10:00

than normal. I think I was wearing a dress. I

10:03

had on my pink and red suit. Yeah. It

10:05

was Valentine's Day. I actually was

10:07

wearing almost red dress. And

10:10

we come into the entrance, they're leading us

10:12

to our table. You know when they're leading

10:14

you to your table and you're like, hey,

10:16

what table's it gonna be? What kind of seating is

10:18

it gonna be? How am I gonna feel about this table? And

10:21

so we go through the front room and

10:24

I'm like, okay, maybe they're taking us to

10:26

like the special table

10:28

that's in towards the back. It was a

10:30

special table, all right. And as

10:33

we approach this one

10:35

table, I'm like, good thing we're not

10:37

sitting there. And

10:39

then they turn and say, you

10:42

can sit here and here.

10:46

Now let me describe this table to you. Picture

10:49

the biggest table that could possibly fit in

10:51

a restaurant. And

10:53

then when I say, like this

10:55

is a table from like

10:57

a medieval castle, right?

10:59

This giant wooden table that's probably 20 feet

11:02

long, but

11:04

it's also eight

11:06

feet wide, like eight feet across.

11:09

Like I could lie on this table

11:12

and not hang off. It was

11:14

a ridiculous, most tables are about

11:16

what? 30 inches across. I

11:20

don't know, you're the designer. If I'm

11:22

sitting on this side, the person across from me,

11:24

it's gonna be around 30 inches away. This

11:28

table, not at a round table, obviously. It depends

11:31

on the size of the table. This was way

11:33

more than 30 inches. This was,

11:35

it felt

11:37

like the person was in another room. Yeah,

11:40

you were twice, well,

11:42

okay. There was only one couple on

11:44

the left. There

11:46

was openness on the right, which comes into play in a

11:48

second. I was so close

11:51

to this woman that anyone who walked

11:53

in would assume that she was my date. I'm

11:55

not the woman I'm yelling at. I'm not

11:58

the woman I'm yelling at. I'm

12:01

like, well, and it was loud. We had to

12:03

talk about the seating. I was like, I don't

12:06

know about this seating arrangement. I'm speaking this loud

12:08

just to have a discussion with you about it.

12:10

We barely, we sat down for maybe

12:12

like 20 seconds. We were sitting down

12:15

for 20 seconds. And we were next to a couple

12:17

that was doing the same thing and I was hearing their

12:19

conversation because they were also yelling at each other. And at

12:22

this point, we had a decision to make.

12:27

And. Well, I don't think I made

12:29

an executive decision. You did make an executive

12:31

decision. I can make those.

12:33

That's the relative point here as it

12:35

relates to these personality characteristics. So

12:38

what do you, how do you remember? I

12:40

just was like, look, we

12:43

have one opportunity to have

12:45

Valentine's Day 2024. And

12:48

I don't wanna help this couple solve their relational

12:50

problems. Right, and I don't wanna. I want us

12:53

to talk. And this

12:55

whole meal, I'm gonna be thinking

12:57

about how annoyed I am with

13:00

how far you are. Not, and

13:02

it was dimly lit. And so

13:04

I couldn't even really see you

13:06

very well. I didn't know if it was you or not. I

13:10

was guessing. So

13:14

I got up and I

13:16

went to the host's desk or

13:18

host. And

13:22

I said, this seating

13:24

arrangement is very good.

13:27

It's not gonna work for us. I don't know how I

13:29

felt it. No, you have a way.

13:31

You would never say something like that. You

13:36

probably came in softer than that. I don't know what,

13:38

well, I didn't hear you because you were too far

13:40

from me. And

13:42

also you got up and went to the front. I did. But

13:45

whatever you said, she kinda got

13:47

a little bit, she had to go check with someone. Well.

13:50

And she did check with someone and then she came back and said,

13:53

okay. And so at that

13:55

point you came around and got next to

13:57

me. I was hoping she would take us

13:59

to a different. table but she

14:01

didn't so she

14:04

basically just said yes it's okay if you

14:06

want to sit beside each other but

14:08

that had an incredible effect on what would unfold

14:11

from that point because after that the

14:13

couple next to us saw what we did and they

14:17

talked to her and then they got next to each other

14:20

and then every couple that came

14:22

in sat it was

14:24

a large table we changed

14:26

the course of so many relationships you

14:29

changed the course of so many relationships who

14:31

knows what would have happened if you hadn't

14:33

stood up and said that other people could

14:36

have fallen in love with other couples because

14:38

they were closer to the other people we

14:40

could have broken up relationships if you hadn't

14:42

stepped in thanks and

14:45

the ironic thing about this is

14:47

that based on one of your

14:50

scores on one of these characteristics you would

14:52

not expect that you would have been the

14:54

one to stand up and say something so

14:56

quickly you would expected that I would have

14:58

been the one to stand up before you

15:00

but I didn't and

15:02

that's interesting and

15:05

we're gonna talk about that personality test

15:07

these characteristics that everybody

15:10

has to some degree in

15:14

a second but before we do that I do

15:16

want to remind you about something I know we're

15:18

gonna want to remind you about yes please act

15:20

like you are very beautiful

15:24

this is the epic rap battle collection

15:27

vinyl which is exclusive to third-degree mythical

15:29

society members now this thing you know

15:31

probably the most popular songs we've ever

15:34

written and recorded and released on the

15:36

internet are these epic

15:38

rap battles nerd versus geek epic rap

15:40

battle and manliness the original epic

15:43

rap battle so they're

15:45

all on here but then

15:47

our longtime friend

15:49

and music producer for

15:51

many things mythical throughout the years mark

15:53

buyers actually did 2024

15:55

remixes of all three so you

15:58

got side a this guy the original this got

16:00

the remixes. Again, we

16:03

do a vinyl every single year over there on the Society. The only

16:06

way to get it is to

16:08

be a third degree Mythical Society member.

16:10

You should sign up for a monthly

16:12

membership before April 30th if you want

16:15

to get this, mythicalsociety.com. Here

16:20

we go. Ear

16:22

Biscuits is brought to you by BetterHelp.

16:24

You know what? It's spring now. I'm

16:27

thinking about getting outside more. I'm thinking

16:29

about being even more social. But you

16:32

know what? You kinda gotta figure

16:34

out exactly how social you wanna be. You

16:36

gotta think about your social battery, right?

16:39

Because it can be easy to ignore our

16:41

social battery and spread ourselves thin, especially

16:43

with social gatherings picking up after the winter.

16:46

Therapy can give you the self-awareness to

16:48

build a social life that doesn't drain

16:50

your battery. Now, you know, we're huge

16:52

advocates of therapy here on Ear Biscuits

16:54

and we want it to be accessible

16:56

to everybody. So if you're thinking of

16:58

starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try. It's

17:00

entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible

17:02

and suited to your schedule. Just fill

17:05

out a brief questionnaire to get matched

17:07

with a licensed therapist and switch therapists

17:09

anytime for no additional charge. Find your

17:11

social sweet spot with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com/ear

17:13

today to get 10% off

17:15

your first month. That's BetterHelp,

17:18

help.com/ ear. Why

17:26

do you think that you are so interested in

17:28

personality tests? It's

17:30

a great question. We were talking about this a

17:32

little bit yesterday. I

17:36

don't really know exactly why. I

17:39

think I'm fascinated by people. There was

17:41

a time actually where

17:43

I considered, I thought I might go back

17:45

to school to be a therapist, but

17:49

that didn't happen. We'll see.

17:52

I mean, I guess it could still happen. But

17:55

I like talking to people. I like

17:57

hearing people's stories. I like

17:59

talking myself. which maybe that's not a great

18:01

idea if you're a therapist, to

18:04

be a super talkative therapist. But

18:08

yeah, I don't know. I think people

18:11

are like puzzles, little

18:15

things to kind of solve,

18:17

which maybe that's not

18:19

a great way to think about people. But

18:23

I like knowing what makes people tick.

18:27

Well, I think I'm into them. I'm

18:29

not as into them as you are. You're not. I'm

18:32

interested in them. And

18:35

I think that, obviously we've talked about the India Gram

18:37

quite a bit on this podcast, and I know that

18:39

it's very polarizing because,

18:42

first of all, there's a lot of people who just don't, people

18:44

just hear the name and think, it's just like

18:46

astrology or something. And

18:49

then it's not, it is

18:52

based on observations about people. And I do

18:54

think that it has some really

18:57

powerful benefits. Yeah, I mean,

18:59

for me, I think it has helped me

19:01

most just to understand myself,

19:03

parts of myself, that I would be kind of

19:06

blind to and to understand

19:09

how I relate to other people and other

19:12

people, why other people relate in the

19:14

way that they do. Well, to me,

19:16

the thing that's useful about some of

19:18

these personality tests that are not scientific,

19:20

meaning that they don't really, they're

19:23

a framework, right? It's a framework to

19:25

kind of understand people, but the mistake

19:27

or one potential pitfall

19:29

of traditional personality tests, like the

19:31

India Gram, Myers-Briggs,

19:35

StrengthsFinder. is that it puts you as

19:38

an individual into a category. It gives

19:40

you a number. And then you

19:42

start thinking, I am that number, or I am

19:44

this collection of

19:46

four letters that

19:50

represent these things. And it can begin

19:52

to, I don't know, you can take it a little

19:54

too personally, you can shape things a little too much,

19:57

but there is one personality test that...

20:00

scientists have observed is it's

20:03

essentially a measurement of five

20:06

different personality characteristics or attributes that everyone

20:08

has to some degree like if you

20:11

were to take any one of these

20:13

characteristics there would be a bell curve

20:15

there would be a distribution of the

20:17

population and what it does is through

20:21

a series of questions it places

20:23

you on that bell curve for each one

20:25

of these personality characteristics so you kind of

20:27

see how you compare to the

20:29

average in this one area and

20:32

then what your score in that area

20:34

might suggest like what kind of observations

20:37

have been made about people because there's

20:39

been all these meta-analysis and you

20:41

know all these studies

20:44

observational studies that have been done based on

20:46

all this data that's been collected where people

20:48

are like oh if you score high in

20:51

this it actually correlates to this thing scientifically

20:53

so we're going to talk about well

20:56

we we both took the test at

20:59

truity truity comm not a sponsor but

21:02

they have like every one of the personality tests

21:04

and if you want your full report you have

21:06

to pay for it so

21:09

that's up to you there might be a place to take there's lots

21:11

of places I've taken it multiple places

21:13

there are lots of places you can

21:15

take it for free of course I

21:17

wanted to get the most

21:20

information I could about it so you

21:22

know I did pay for the full

21:24

report I'm sorry to admit

21:27

but yeah I think it's

21:30

interesting like scientists these this

21:32

idea of traits these

21:35

personality traits that are present

21:37

across the board and people

21:40

has scientists have been looking at that

21:42

since like I think it was the 1940s

21:45

that it start they started kind of and

21:48

then in the 80s they really

21:50

kind of drill down and realize that

21:52

even across cultures these

21:54

five personality traits seem

21:57

to be enduring so

21:59

why don't you tell us about the five traits.

22:03

I will tell y'all and you know

22:05

I'm just gonna read straight from my report

22:07

because I can't say better than they did.

22:10

So there's two different

22:13

acronyms that you can use to

22:15

remember the five traits

22:17

either ocean or canoe

22:20

whichever you prefer I'm gonna go

22:22

with ocean because that's the

22:24

order that I've got order that

22:27

Truity puts it in. Okay so

22:29

the first one is openness. Openness

22:32

describes an individual's tendency to

22:35

think in complex abstract ways.

22:38

So people high in openness are

22:40

abstract thinkers but people

22:42

who are lower in openness are going to be

22:44

more concrete

22:47

thinkers. All right

22:50

next we have got conscientiousness.

22:54

Conscientiousness that's a little

22:56

tough to say conscientiousness.

22:58

Well you did it. Thanks. This one is the one

23:00

that's a little misleading because you might think you know

23:02

what it means but the way that they're talking about

23:04

it it means something a little more specific. Yeah I

23:07

definitely was surprised by their

23:09

definition of conscientiousness and each

23:12

each category there are really subcategories

23:14

that they used to come to

23:18

that are underneath this overarching

23:20

main category so there'll be

23:22

a few different traits that

23:24

go into the overall trait

23:26

of conscientiousness and that's

23:28

just that a person's tendency

23:30

to be persistent and determined

23:33

in achieving their goals. So

23:35

these people tend to work

23:37

hard to put their plans

23:39

into action you know they're

23:41

not going to be procrastinators.

23:44

People who don't have

23:46

this quality might tend

23:48

to get distracted easily.

23:51

Okay the next one

23:53

is extraversion. This is what you

23:55

think it is. Yes it well I

23:57

think it's a little bit more complex than that because

23:59

it's not just are

24:01

you energized by people? I

24:04

think yes, that's part of it,

24:06

but it's also like your energy level, which

24:09

is something I don't think about a lot, but

24:11

that does make sense. The introverts tend to have

24:14

tend to sometimes be lower in energy, be

24:16

calmer, not lower in

24:19

energy, not being a negative thing,

24:21

but they just present as a

24:23

more calm, reserved person than somebody

24:26

who is extroverted and wanting to

24:28

meet people and talk to people. Yep,

24:31

social butterfly versus wallflower. That's

24:34

right. The next one

24:36

is agreeableness. So,

24:38

agreeableness describes an individual's tendencies to

24:40

put the needs of others ahead

24:42

of their own needs. Sometimes

24:47

they may say that altruism,

24:50

self-sacrifice is

24:52

being helpful, accommodating, sympathetic.

24:56

So, empathy is a big part

24:59

of agreeableness.

25:05

And the final one is going to

25:07

be neuroticism. I

25:10

like how you're saying it's going to be, because that's how, have

25:12

you noticed, have

25:14

you noticed that's what waiters do now? If you

25:17

go to a nice restaurant, they tell you

25:19

that it's like, I

25:21

say, tell me about the, tell me

25:24

about the mahi-mahi. And they say, well, that's going

25:26

to be a so- They do because

25:28

you're not eating the mahi-mahi yet. I know, but

25:30

somebody somewhere came up with that's what y'all should do.

25:32

You don't have to tell me it's going to be,

25:34

I know that

25:37

I'm about to eat it. And first of all, depending on

25:39

what you say, I might not eat it. Did I

25:41

offend you by saying that the fifth one

25:43

is going to be neuroticism? I'm sorry. The

25:45

fifth one is present tense

25:47

neuroticism. We keep, and

25:50

Link's not here. He's the one who

25:52

likes to make a big deal about which camera

25:54

we look into. You're

25:57

doing the same thing that I do, which is I often look at

25:59

this camera for info. emphasis, but at some

26:01

point during, after the intro, we

26:04

start talking to these cameras, and so I'm

26:06

reminding myself. So if you wanna say

26:08

something like, the fifth trait is. No,

26:13

you don't need to look at the camera. I'm

26:15

just saying if you say something for emphasis. Also,

26:17

talk into your microphone. We're

26:19

going to have to put a Gar Brooks mic

26:21

on this girl. So

26:24

she can stick with her. The fifth trait

26:26

in. No, no, too much. Neuroticism,

26:31

which neither of us have yet. You

26:37

wanna hear what neuroticism is currently? I think I

26:39

know what it is, yeah. It

26:42

can be thought of as the alarm system of

26:44

the brain. It's

26:48

negative emotions, your response to stress.

26:50

So throughout the day, how many

26:52

negative emotions do you feel if

26:54

something stressful happens? How do you

26:56

deal with that? Anxiety,

26:58

depression, anger. Yeah, people

27:01

low on neuroticism, resist stress. They

27:03

tend not to experience many negative

27:06

emotions. Okay, so let's

27:08

get into some of our scores. We're

27:11

gonna talk about our scores. We're

27:13

gonna kinda go through maybe

27:16

where we're the same, what we're different, and then

27:20

one of the most interesting things we're gonna do

27:22

is talk about these very specific observations that have

27:25

been made from people who score really high

27:27

in this area. Oh, it turns out that this

27:29

tends to be true about them, which is kinda

27:31

fascinating. And again, this

27:34

is a measurement of you against the

27:36

average to sort of on a bell

27:38

curve, right? So around 50 would be

27:40

kind of in the middle. It's not

27:42

low, 50 is average. Yeah,

27:44

and they kinda give you the specific average

27:47

score. That score kinda changes over time because,

27:49

as you'll see, some averages are

27:51

58, some are 55, some are 51. But

27:56

anyway, let's start with openness, because this is, we're

27:59

a bit. of an outlier, both of us, my

28:02

score on the openness scale is a 98. What

28:04

is yours? Oh,

28:10

look at that, Jessie. So I

28:12

think you could potentially be 100.

28:14

Maybe? I don't know. On

28:17

one test I took, I was 100, but

28:19

that seems ridiculous. I'm clearly not 100% open,

28:21

so I went

28:23

with the 98. We

28:25

are, you know, there's

28:29

good, and here's the thing, there's good and there's

28:31

bad in each one of these things. Of course.

28:33

Well, and that is, you know, these, well,

28:35

yes, you can make extrapolations. These are

28:38

not supposed to be positive and negative.

28:40

There's not like a value judgment. It

28:42

doesn't make you better. This isn't a score, and I have

28:44

to remind myself of that as a competitive person. It's like,

28:46

I got a 98 on the first one.

28:49

Not necessarily a good thing. But

28:51

if you want to characterize it

28:53

in a way that sounds positive, people

28:56

who are high in openness are comfortable

28:58

with abstract ideas. They enjoy talking and

29:00

thinking about theories and concepts, even

29:02

if the concepts are unproven. Now,

29:07

I think that this

29:09

is not surprising to either one

29:12

of us that we scored high in

29:14

the openness category. Yes,

29:17

it's about the networking of the brain and

29:20

how connected ideas are. And, you

29:22

know, this is something very interesting

29:27

as it relates to ADHD, which

29:31

I definitely have. My therapist

29:33

has said I absolutely have it. I'm

29:35

not medicated for it. You do not

29:38

have it. But I

29:41

have described, you know, a lot of times

29:43

people will talk about brains like

29:46

this that are more like spaghetti because

29:49

every idea is connected to another

29:51

idea. And that's

29:53

why sometimes you might I might have

29:55

trouble telling a story because like this,

29:58

this is not really a bad about

30:00

ADHD. Openness has nothing to

30:02

do, is not about ADHD, but in

30:04

my mind, they're connected. Wow.

30:09

Well, the way that I relate to this

30:12

is that one

30:15

of the things that openness sort of represents is

30:17

this tendency to accept

30:20

a new idea. Yeah. And

30:23

kind of, and so I've noticed this, this

30:27

tendency in myself that, when

30:29

I read a book, like

30:32

a nonfiction book, that's about something, and

30:34

the author has a certain perspective, the

30:37

way that I explore that

30:39

perspective is while I'm reading

30:41

the book, for all

30:43

intents and purposes, I just adopt

30:46

the perspective. Like I

30:48

don't approach this case that this person is

30:50

making for this thing, even if it's something

30:52

that I initially disagree with, right? Like

30:56

for instance, I'm reading a book about

30:58

the resurrection of Jesus Christ, which I

31:01

do not believe. You are, that's surprising.

31:03

Which I do

31:05

not believe happened, right? Right. And

31:08

I have pretty strong convictions about that. However, the

31:10

guy writing the book, because I like to read

31:13

people who think differently, does believe

31:15

it happened, and so as I'm reading

31:17

it, I am giving him all the benefit of the

31:19

doubt, and I'm like, my mind becomes a person who

31:21

believes in the resurrection while I'm reading the book. Like

31:23

I don't, I just noticed, and I'm not trying to

31:25

do that, it's not an intentional thing, it's just something

31:27

about my brain, is I don't, when

31:30

you give me a new idea, I don't immediately become

31:32

skeptical and try to take it down. I'm sort of

31:34

like, all right, let's see where you're going with this.

31:38

And then that doesn't mean that at the end of the book, I

31:40

will kind of come out of

31:42

it and then be like, okay, what do I actually

31:45

think about this? But I'm just saying, the way new

31:47

ideas go into my brain is that there's a receptivity

31:49

to them. And you can

31:51

see how that could be to your detriment at

31:53

the same time, right? It's interesting. There's

31:56

a benefit to it, but there could be a detriment to it at the

31:58

same time. Yeah. You don't

32:00

approach the world with skepticism, which

32:03

is absolutely the

32:05

same in that, like skepticism

32:07

or suspicion. And

32:10

so whether it's reading

32:12

a book, whether it's thinking

32:14

about a new idea, this

32:16

trait is also really related

32:18

to creativity and I think

32:20

an ability for art and

32:22

music, writing,

32:26

that kind of thing to really affect you. I think

32:28

one of the questions on one of the many tests

32:30

that I took was how do you feel

32:33

when you go into a museum and you look at a piece of art?

32:37

So yeah, I think it is an

32:39

openness to new ideas, an

32:43

openness to original thought.

32:47

Not having to follow a

32:50

tradition can

32:52

be kind of connected to this. Yeah,

32:55

I'm trying to think of, I think

32:57

for me, I am working

32:59

on being more suspicious because

33:02

it can be dangerous. It

33:04

can lead to trusting people. Like

33:07

I tend to have this, like somebody comes in

33:09

and they're a little bit weird or something and

33:11

it's just interesting to me rather than like the

33:14

alarms go off, right? Yep. And

33:16

so you can be taken advantage of in that way. Yes,

33:19

like people who have,

33:21

or high end openness probably wouldn't

33:24

be good at

33:26

securing a movie theater

33:29

so that all of the exits

33:31

are in the right place in

33:33

case something bad happened. You know

33:35

what I mean? People who are

33:37

low in openness are more likely

33:40

to be concerned about what

33:42

could go wrong. And this is

33:45

probably why it's good that I'm not an engineer, right?

33:47

So I tend to be, it's

33:51

weird because I've got, there's

33:53

a lot of systematic thinking and which

33:56

we'll get to in a second. But like, I

33:58

think that. You

34:01

want the person building your bridge out

34:03

of concrete to have concrete thinking. Yeah,

34:05

no, not to be too open. Now

34:10

I'm not trying to make a architectural statement with

34:12

this bridge as much as I'm trying to

34:14

make sure. There has to be people who

34:16

are, there's the artistic side, there's the designer

34:18

side, and then there's the engineer side

34:20

to make that bridge serve

34:22

humanity well, right? Well, we're

34:25

gonna come back to how those really, really high

34:27

scores and openness were some of the things they

34:29

might mean. So let's just, let's kind of get

34:31

through our scores. That one we spent a lot

34:33

of time on just because our scores were so

34:35

high, but tell me about your conscientiousness score. So

34:38

this one hurt me a little bit.

34:41

It like hurt my heart. Okay. Because

34:43

I tend to think of myself as a conscientious

34:46

person. Like I care about what, how

34:48

my actions affect other people. But

34:51

that's not really what this is a measure of. It's not, it's

34:53

not. So I was 44 in

34:55

conscientiousness. So I was below average.

34:59

Oh, and I didn't say with it. The average

35:01

of openness is 58. Okay.

35:05

So the average of conscientiousness across

35:07

everyone who's ever been analyzed, 55. And

35:10

you're what? Okay. And

35:13

I'm a 62 and a half. So this

35:15

is like moderate. We're

35:17

both kind of moderate. Like does it call

35:19

yours moderate? Cause it says- I know I think it calls

35:21

me low. I'm a moderate

35:24

in conscientiousness. And

35:29

this is related

35:31

to your prefrontal cortex or

35:35

your PFC as we

35:38

like to say. What's

35:42

your impulse control? Do you

35:44

have good impulse control? So

35:47

like the test, what was the, the

35:50

gummy bear M&M test?

35:53

What was the piece of candy? I mean, you just sit a kid in

35:55

a room with a piece of candy, whatever. That

35:58

would be related to conscientiousness. Can

36:00

you look forward and plan

36:02

for something way down the

36:04

road? Can you choose

36:07

to not engage in things that

36:10

do not move you

36:12

towards that final goal? And

36:15

this is, you know, I think that you thought

36:17

that I might score higher on this than I

36:19

did. I was really doing

36:21

my best to be honest in the

36:23

answers and not to try to like

36:25

shape, you know, like what I wanted the

36:28

results to be. And

36:31

I think that the reality

36:34

is that I feel like there are two people

36:36

inside of me. There's

36:38

one very driven, very

36:40

systematic, really cares about

36:43

order and like I'm super driven,

36:46

you know, and people who are conscious. Yeah, which

36:48

ambition is one of these things. So

36:50

I have this like high level of

36:53

ambition, I'm very driven, self motivated. But

36:56

then I'm also easily distracted.

36:58

And if I were to say that if I were

37:00

to say that I wasn't easily distracted, I would be

37:02

lying. So I think that I'll

37:05

sit down to work on something and

37:07

to write something. And then I kind of just

37:09

find myself all of a sudden. And

37:12

again, I realized that that could be like

37:14

a symptom of some sort of

37:17

ADHD or whatever. You don't

37:19

think that I have that. I think I

37:21

don't know. I've never been diagnosed. I'm

37:25

able to usually get back to the task

37:27

at hand, but I do get kind of

37:29

bored with kind of zeroing in on one

37:31

thing. And I get my interest takes me to

37:33

a different place. And so my

37:35

consciousness can only also cannot say

37:38

the word can only be so high because of

37:40

that tendency to. Kind

37:42

of get distracted. And also,

37:45

this is like people who are super

37:47

organized. I'm not. I'll

37:50

make a lot of lists. And If you ask

37:52

me to like, come up with an outline for

37:54

something, or come up with a strategy for something,

37:56

I'll spend a lot of time coming up with

37:58

really, really developed strategy for things. I

38:00

can do that kind of thing, but if

38:02

you ask me to organize a drawer, Ass.

38:07

Is so I hate It Is the iso. And

38:11

I think you're the same. y el al.

38:13

Aqsa out mind organizing a

38:15

drawer as saying and very

38:17

easily distracted at. I don't

38:19

think my ambition is low

38:21

and I think most of

38:23

my most people who know

38:25

me would consider me dependable.

38:27

but I do think like.

38:30

I can. I can

38:32

be. Disorganized. This,

38:34

It's not something I'm interested in. Like,

38:36

where did that receipt go? Have

38:38

no idea. And that's one of the

38:40

reasons that when I started my business

38:42

and new the first thing I had

38:45

to do is hire somebody who could

38:47

help me out with administrative stuff which

38:49

that that's life you know. I hired

38:51

Lindsay. It's something is important to me.

38:53

I will be dependable. I will be.

38:55

Determined that I think things it

38:58

in my far I haven't like

39:00

really committed to as a little

39:02

bit harder. For me to. Make

39:04

them happen. Okay,

39:08

Look the one that we have

39:10

a pretty stark differences extrovert. Mans

39:13

really let right. Mine.

39:16

Is. A Forty four.

39:19

Of the averages of a d, one. Yeah,

39:23

I think that's something that

39:26

people are usually surprised about.

39:28

Surprised about you by am.

39:31

Because. Of your. Gm

39:33

and persona. Is

39:36

gregarious, is boisterous,

39:38

does seem to

39:40

be extroverted. Ah,

39:42

but. In reality,

39:46

Inner. Personally, you tend to

39:48

be more reserved. And.

39:52

You know I have met. Definitely

39:54

met comedians to as soon as

39:56

you meet him. They're.

39:58

Cracking jokes. You can

40:01

get a sentence out without then. Saying.

40:04

Something funny. Which

40:06

can be good or bad. And

40:09

that is not. You know how I interact

40:11

socially? I I don't. I.

40:13

Thought a lot about this. Will further was your score.

40:16

My score is ninety two vow. Danger

40:18

of dying is another surprise.

40:20

So I've thought a lot

40:22

about this Tennessee and Isamu.

40:25

This makes. This has

40:27

kind of difficult for me because it's. Do

40:30

you like being the center of attention is

40:32

like one of the quotes and what's the?

40:34

There was a question that kind of gotta

40:36

that in. this is so this is such

40:38

a complex question to me because. Professionally

40:41

yes and socially know. What I don't

40:43

like: like if I go to a

40:45

party like I got a fade into

40:48

the background a little bit Burma I

40:50

don't try to be alive for the

40:52

party. I am not the life of

40:54

party. But I

40:56

am drawing attention to myself for a living,

40:58

I don't have a problem with getting up

41:01

in front of a large crowd and trying

41:03

to be funny. And I don't have a

41:05

prot like. You know, obviously Lincoln. I've

41:07

done that together for really long time, but I don't

41:09

have a problem with doing that by myself. Like right?

41:11

I'd love doing it with like I love doing it

41:14

by myself. Whatever. And

41:17

he was funny. The way you described it were

41:19

time mattress on our walk the other night you

41:21

were like do like being the center of attention

41:23

on your own terms. In

41:26

that's true, that was insightful as me.

41:29

Like if you give me a second, it's like

41:31

if is one of those things where. Even

41:35

if is something as simple as. His

41:38

Thanksgiving Day. And.

41:40

Air in their realize like we're going to

41:42

go around and everyone say whether thankful for

41:44

is like utensil and the i think the

41:46

average person bright tenses up a little bit.

41:48

Are you me? Who. can

41:51

give her front of a couple thousand people and

41:53

be funny and not have a care in the

41:55

world get nervous about saying when i'm thankful for

41:58

in front of twelve people on thanksgiving I'm

42:02

still trying to get to the bottom of what that is. Interesting.

42:07

Because it feels like it's not, like,

42:11

well, you know, somebody else came up with this idea and

42:13

I'm having to respond to it and I'm having to say

42:15

something in this moment versus I'm going

42:17

off into a corner and writing this routine

42:19

and like having this idea of what I'm

42:21

doing. I love giving a speech, you

42:23

know, because I can like plan it and

42:26

I can, I know like you're supposed to

42:28

be paying attention to me right now. I'm

42:30

not vying for your attention. When I have

42:32

to vie for attention, there's

42:34

something that breaks down. Funny, because I wouldn't

42:36

think of it as vying for attention as much

42:38

as I would, more of

42:40

an interpersonal nature to that.

42:43

Like if you're standing in a small

42:45

group, you're kind of welcoming feedback. You're

42:48

looking directly at facial expressions. Not that

42:50

you're not doing that, I guess, from

42:53

stage, but it does feel

42:55

much more interpersonal in

42:57

a small group than it does if you're

43:01

performing. Less performative and

43:03

more interpersonal. But

43:06

you, I think there's a big, one

43:08

of the things that illustrates

43:13

the stark difference here is the way we

43:15

interact with an Uber driver. Okay,

43:20

so if I'm-

43:23

You about to throw me under the Uber? No,

43:25

it can be a wonderful

43:28

thing. I

43:35

do not like to talk to the Uber driver. If

43:39

they start talking to me, I'm like, I'm

43:42

nice. I'm not an asshole to them,

43:45

but I kind of don't want, and I know you

43:47

can like set that conversational preference, but because I'm a

43:49

people pleaser, I don't set the conversational preference. Like

43:53

I don't say no conversation because I think maybe I'll

43:55

get a bad rating and I'm always competing. So

43:59

then I just don't talk. But you,

44:01

Jessie, you make like

44:03

a lifetime connection with

44:06

somebody. Like we know everything

44:08

about this person and they know a lot

44:11

about you by the time we get to

44:13

wherever we're going. Not

44:16

always, but I would

44:18

say most of the time, I think there's

44:20

some, it's just like if there's a person,

44:23

a whole ass human being

44:26

sitting there driving the car that

44:29

I'm putting my body into,

44:32

then it seems like

44:34

I should acknowledge them

44:37

and interact with them. And that, there

44:39

might be something like ultimately selfish about

44:41

that. Maybe they don't wanna be interacted

44:43

with. No, I think, I mean, in

44:46

my experience, they do. They love you. And

44:48

if we're at a party of

44:50

people that we don't know, and

44:53

we'll often not, you know, we'll not stay

44:55

together the whole time we're at a party,

44:57

right? Mm-hmm. And I will

45:00

see that you're talking to somebody and I'll go

45:03

up and like, I feel like I've only been

45:05

away from you for like eight minutes. And

45:07

the thing that you were talking about when I

45:10

get to this conversation is like, she's already talking

45:12

about that. She's already talking

45:14

about her, you know, deconstruction

45:17

or what, you know, something

45:20

kind of heavy, or the person,

45:22

and more often than not, is

45:24

like, this is why you could

45:26

have been and maybe should have been and maybe you will

45:29

be at some point a therapist because these

45:31

people just open up to you and

45:33

just begin talking about, I'm like, wow, y'all aren't

45:35

even talking about that. And I'm getting called up.

45:37

And then she's like, I already told her that.

45:39

I already told her that. She already knows about

45:41

your story. Blah, blah, blah. And I'm

45:43

like, well, first of all, playing

45:46

a little closer to those chips, baby. I

45:50

don't know if we should trust this

45:52

person. But that combination of openness and

45:54

extroversion means that you go for it

45:56

in those conversations. Yeah, and you know

45:59

that again. not always

46:01

healthy. Like clearly you

46:04

can't trust everybody.

46:06

You can't. Everybody

46:08

doesn't need to know your life story and

46:10

one thing I really am trying to be

46:13

like you and I

46:15

are in

46:17

some ways so entangled

46:21

is not the right word. I

46:24

think I pretty much know what I can share and what

46:26

I can't share but like even with our kids I'm trying

46:28

to really be very careful about okay is this yours to

46:30

share. And

46:46

I think I do keep

46:49

confidence and that kind of thing but just

46:51

in general I'm trying to like

46:53

why do I need to immediately start sharing my

46:55

life story with somebody. What

47:01

is that about? Is that a need

47:03

for affirmation? Is that a need? What

47:06

am I looking for there? And maybe it's

47:08

just a really desperate

47:10

need for connection. I don't know. I feel

47:12

very connected. I think I have a rich

47:18

life in terms of friendships and connection

47:20

and that kind of thing. But I

47:23

do like to connect. And

47:26

you know what? I

47:29

feel like I benefit from this quite

47:32

a bit. I benefit from

47:35

your extroversion and I benefit from Link's extroversion

47:38

as well like in social settings. And

47:40

I take full advantage of those things. It's like I

47:42

don't want to start a conversation but they will so

47:44

I just kind of come up and join and then

47:46

decide if I want to leave. I

47:49

have quite a system. So

47:53

yeah I mean like just recently I saw

47:56

Link was talking to Quavo. at

48:00

an event and I was like,

48:02

well, I'll go up and see what he's talking to Quavo about. And

48:05

literally as I arrived at the conversation, he was like,

48:07

so what kind of pillow do you use? And

48:11

Quavo looked at him like, who is this? No,

48:16

but then he answered, right?

48:19

Or no? He basically said, whatever pillow is

48:21

there? The

48:23

same answer that I have. And Link was like, well, I travel

48:25

with my own pillow. It's

48:28

a cylindrical pillow that's got buckwheat in it. That

48:30

doesn't sound like Link. Well, that's what he sounded

48:32

like to Quavo, trust me. Anyway,

48:36

but again, I'm not

48:38

gonna go up to Quavo. Cause

48:40

I don't know what to say, like, hey.

48:43

Like I don't like, what do you- You

48:45

also don't, you don't wanna be an imposition.

48:47

What do you say to, I don't know

48:49

how to start a conversation with somebody. It

48:51

definitely isn't hey, sometimes

48:54

that's the only thing I can think of. I

48:58

know you can go up with a

49:00

question, but again, I haven't had to

49:02

develop this skill because the

49:04

people that I am closest with in all my

49:06

social situations are always there to start conversation. Well,

49:09

maybe the next party we go to,

49:11

I should purposely- Leave me

49:13

on my own? Shut my mouth. No.

49:17

I'll just be walking up to people and say, hey. Now

49:22

once the conversation gets going, I'm good. Yeah,

49:24

you are. You know what I'm saying? It's

49:27

like, I can have a conversation with anybody. I'm

49:29

interested in a lot of things. I

49:31

know a little bit about a lot of things. I

49:34

don't know a lot about many things, but I know a little bit

49:36

about a lot of things enough to have a good conversation. But

49:39

that initial sort of like the social awkwardness or

49:42

whatever. So I appreciate that. I think that is,

49:44

I don't, when I'm doing

49:46

that, I don't ever feel, rarely do

49:48

I feel super confident in that moment,

49:50

but it's just kind of like, if

49:53

I wanna talk to this person, this

49:56

intro part is something I gotta get through. So

49:59

I just kind of- Well,

50:02

you do a good job of it. Ear

50:07

Biscuits is supported by NetSuite. Here's some

50:09

quick math. The less your business spends

50:11

on operations, multiple systems, or delivering your

50:13

product or service, the more margin you

50:15

have and the more money you keep.

50:18

But with higher expenses on materials, employees,

50:20

distribution, and borrowing, everything costs

50:22

more. So, to reduce

50:24

costs and headaches, smart businesses are

50:26

graduating to NetSuite by Oracle. NetSuite

50:29

is the number one cloud

50:31

financial system bringing accounting, financial

50:33

management, inventory, and HR into

50:35

one platform and one source of

50:38

truth. With NetSuite, you reduce IT costs

50:40

because NetSuite lives in the cloud with

50:42

no hardware required, access from anywhere. You

50:45

cut the cost of maintaining multiple systems because

50:47

you've got one unified business management suite. You

50:50

improve efficiency by bringing all your

50:52

major business processes into one platform,

50:54

slashing manual tasks and errors. Over

50:57

30,000 companies have already made the

50:59

move, so do the math. See how

51:01

you'll profit with NetSuite. Now, through April

51:03

15th, NetSuite is offering a one-of-a-kind flexible

51:05

financing program. Head to netsuite.com/ear,

51:08

netsuite.com/ear,

51:11

netsuite.com/ear.

51:13

Ear Biscuits is supported by Super Feet. Did you

51:16

know that more than 75% of

51:18

Americans will experience foot pain in their

51:20

lifetime, but only 10% will

51:23

seek out a solution for that pain? Well

51:25

guess what? Super feet don't have to

51:27

hurt. When you add the signature orthotic

51:29

shape of Super Feet insoles to your

51:32

shoes, you give your feet comfort and

51:34

support where they need it most, helping

51:36

redistribute forces to reduce stress and strain

51:38

on your entire body, not just your

51:41

feet. Super Feet insoles are clinically proven

51:43

to decrease fatigue, reduce injury and improve

51:45

comfort. Since 1977, Super

51:47

Feet has helped millions of people worldwide

51:49

experience the life-changing magic of comfy, pain-free

51:51

feet. Super Feet insoles upgrade the fit,

51:54

feel and function of your footwear to

51:56

help you feel your best. The signature

51:58

orthotic shape of Super Feet. if Superfeet

52:00

gives your feet the right type of

52:02

support where you need it most. Physicians

52:04

not only recommend Superfeet to their patients,

52:06

they wear Superfeet insoles in their own

52:08

shoes. Superfeet is the number one doctor

52:10

worn and recommended insole. Superfeet has thousands

52:12

of five-star reviews and is the insole

52:14

of choice for top athletes on the

52:16

field, on the ice, and on the

52:19

slopes, and everywhere in between. Superfeet

52:21

has a wide range of insoles for every

52:23

activity, every shoe, and every foot. From cushioned

52:25

and flexible to firm and supportive, you can

52:27

dial in your fit by taking their quick

52:29

online quiz. We took the quiz, we've

52:32

got our insoles coming. They're on their

52:34

way. You just answer a few short

52:36

questions and Superfeet will recommend the best

52:38

insole choice for you. Visit superfeet.com and

52:40

enter the promo code EER at checkout

52:42

for 15% off your first

52:45

order, plus free shipping. Okay,

52:49

let's move on. Because

52:51

there's so many things to talk about over these correlations, but let's get

52:54

through these last two. Agreeableness.

52:57

Again, so this is basically,

52:59

how is this described again?

53:02

It's an individual's need to put the

53:04

tendencies of others ahead of their, the

53:06

tendency to put the needs of others

53:08

ahead of themselves. Okay, the

53:11

average of this is 63, so

53:13

most people are pretty high in agreeableness. I'm

53:15

a 54. Explains

53:19

a lot. I

53:22

am considered low in agreeableness. No,

53:24

I was actually shocked by you being

53:26

lower in agreeableness because I think of

53:28

you as an agreeable person. I

53:31

don't feel like, if I come up

53:33

with an idea or I'm like,

53:36

hey, let's go do this tonight, usually

53:38

your first response is gonna be, okay, that sounds

53:41

good. I don't

53:43

experience you as somebody who is constantly

53:45

looking for an opportunity to disagree.

53:51

Well, let's hear it. What are you? I

53:54

am an 85. Yeah,

53:57

that's high. That's

53:59

high in. Okay, so I don't

54:05

know how again, I this is. I'm

54:08

trying to look at some of this information here.

54:10

It's like agreeableness is very closely related to empathy.

54:13

Yeah, or the ability to understand and fill another

54:15

person's emotions. Highly

54:18

agreeable people are highly empathetic,

54:20

which you're highly empathetic. And

54:24

I have to focus on

54:28

empathy to be empathetic. And I think there's, you

54:31

know, there is a, this

54:35

is one of the things where I feel like I've got

54:37

two people in me. I've got this person that is

54:40

kind of prioritizing themselves and

54:42

their own needs and like the things

54:44

that I have to do. Like one of the

54:47

questions in it was, do you often stop

54:49

what you're doing to help other people?

54:53

And I think

54:55

I put a slight disagreement with

54:57

that because I'm trying to be as honest as I

55:00

can be. And that's the kind of thing that like, if

55:03

a friend comes to me and is like, I have

55:05

this need, I do drop

55:07

everything. You do, I've seen you drop. I help in

55:10

whatever way I can. And

55:12

I kind of put that into action. But

55:15

like, if they don't come to

55:17

me and I just know about something that somebody's

55:19

going through, but they haven't asked me. My

55:22

tendency to focus on my own stuff sort

55:25

of prevails. And I think that's

55:27

one of the reasons why I got kind of a low

55:29

score here. And also, you

55:33

know, I'm sort

55:35

of at this point publicly

55:38

known as the guy who rejected

55:40

the religion of his youth and talked

55:42

about it on the Internet, which is

55:44

not a particularly agreeable thing

55:47

to do. Now, you also, you also

55:49

do that. I do that. And

55:51

I have it's funny because I think there

55:54

have been moments in my life. I mean,

55:56

I one that I thought of

55:58

when I was very. When

56:01

I was the opposite of agreeable, which

56:03

is kind of a, this is some personal

56:05

lore of mine. Do

56:07

we have time for me to tell this? Yeah,

56:11

baby. Was my, between

56:13

my, I guess, between my junior, sophomore

56:15

and junior year, there

56:17

was a summer program.

56:20

They do this in North Carolina. I don't know if

56:22

they do it in other states. I'm sure there's something

56:24

similar called Governor School. And so you

56:26

had to audition to get into this program. It

56:28

was kind of like a mini college experience. So

56:31

you go in a specific area.

56:34

Mine was like a

56:36

choral performance. So I was

56:40

with about 50 other kids in choir

56:42

for the summer, but then you take

56:44

classes in philosophy and a

56:47

few other things. So

56:49

our, one of the songs that our

56:52

choir was supposed to sing was Imagined

56:54

by John Lennon. And

56:57

I felt, which

56:59

is a great song. I

57:01

mean, can't we all agree? It says, imagine there's

57:04

no heaven. It does. It says,

57:06

imagine there's no heaven. It's easy if

57:08

you try, no hell below us,

57:10

above us only sky. And

57:16

I felt like if I were

57:18

to get up there and sing

57:20

this, so interesting, that

57:22

I would be basically

57:25

lying about what

57:28

I actually believed, which was there is

57:30

a heaven and there is a hell.

57:32

Yeah, I don't want to imagine. Right.

57:35

So I got up in front of the

57:37

50 students

57:39

in my choir

57:43

and gave an impassioned speech

57:45

about how I could not deny my

57:47

savior by singing imagine. And

57:54

looking back, I

57:56

mean, I'm embarrassed, but I must.

58:00

That was who I was. You set up for what

58:02

you believed in. I did, I did. And so there is, while

58:04

I am 85% agreeable, sometimes

58:10

I will strongly disagree if I

58:13

feel like it is a

58:17

counter to who I am. And

58:20

I, so, yeah. And actually, and

58:23

we didn't end up, myself

58:25

and a group of other kids sat

58:27

out of the match. You were saying?

58:29

Yes, and it was a huge thing.

58:31

They wrote an article in the governor's

58:33

school paper about it. Well,

58:37

mission accomplished. I took a

58:39

stand for the Lord and you got notice for it.

58:41

But I think that, to

58:44

me, I think about agreeableness is more on

58:46

the interpersonal level, less than the like, I'm

58:48

gonna take a stand based on principles, because

58:50

you've always been a very principled person. Okay.

58:54

Very justice oriented person. And

58:58

so I think that sometimes your sort

59:00

of moral compass and your justice meter

59:03

are so active that you end

59:05

up being, I'm gonna make myself uncomfortable

59:07

and I'm gonna make these people feel uncomfortable. But

59:11

when it comes to the way you interact

59:13

with individuals, like you

59:15

are so conscious of other people's needs

59:17

and their comfort that that's why

59:19

you score high in this area. And that's why I

59:21

don't score very high because I have

59:25

to be kind of told. I

59:28

feel like, now that

59:30

I don't have the ability to recognize someone's

59:32

needs, but there's

59:35

a part of me that's sort of like, well, just tell me. Until

59:37

you tell me, I'm just gonna assume you're all right. Which

59:40

is wrong. But

59:43

anyway, now let's move to the last one because

59:45

again, like I said, there's these correlations that they've

59:47

observed about these things that are

59:49

even more interesting than everything we're talking about right now. Neuroticism.

59:55

The average is 54. Which

59:59

makes sense. I'm a 50. So

1:00:04

slightly below average. What

1:00:07

are you? I scored 33. Wow. Yeah, I was actually shocked by

1:00:13

that. Maybe

1:00:15

it's because I'm medicated. Maybe

1:00:18

the Zoloft is doing some heavy

1:00:20

lifting on that 33. But

1:00:24

it is, there's neurotic

1:00:26

people are susceptible to anxiety, depression,

1:00:29

anger, and other negative

1:00:31

emotions when subjected to stressful

1:00:33

conditions. And

1:00:36

sometimes, you know, with my, I don't

1:00:39

know if, I guess there wouldn't have been a time

1:00:42

when I would have talked about it. You wrote a

1:00:44

song about OCD. And

1:00:46

some people got mad at you, but your

1:00:48

wife, you've dealt with OCD. You got

1:00:50

the views. A lot. So

1:00:52

you know, if anybody knows about dealing with,

1:00:54

and you know what, you're really good at

1:00:57

dealing with OCD. Like

1:01:01

you actually helped me a

1:01:03

lot by being funny

1:01:05

about it, by not taking anything I said

1:01:07

seriously. I mean, I think the last thing

1:01:09

an OCD person wants is for you

1:01:12

to actually believe all their compulsions

1:01:15

and obsessions and to

1:01:17

tell them that they've got a good point. I

1:01:19

mean, maybe they think they want that, but ultimately

1:01:22

that's not what's best for them. So anyway,

1:01:25

yeah, I guess I don't, I

1:01:28

don't think I struggle with negative

1:01:32

emotions as much. I definitely have them,

1:01:35

but I can often kind of talk myself

1:01:37

out of it, which can

1:01:39

be, can means that

1:01:42

I need to make sure I am actually feeling my

1:01:44

feelings. To me,

1:01:46

this is a testimony to a combination

1:01:49

of therapy and medication being very beneficial

1:01:51

to you. I mean, I know that

1:01:53

you're a strong proponent of

1:01:55

both of those things for people who legitimately

1:01:58

need them. You know,

1:02:00

and the net result is your neuroticism

1:02:03

is lower than mine. Um,

1:02:06

this is one of those things where as

1:02:10

I recently said on the podcast, I'm

1:02:12

getting more in touch with my anxiety.

1:02:15

Um, but at the same time, you know,

1:02:18

I'm stable. I am resilient.

1:02:21

I have a lot of self-confidence. I'm

1:02:23

optimistic. I'm not a pessimistic person. In

1:02:25

fact, my optimism is often what is

1:02:30

the way that I internally answer the

1:02:32

anxiety. Um,

1:02:34

and so I think that, like, again, it's these

1:02:36

two feel like very strong

1:02:38

forces. Like my anxiety in certain situations feels

1:02:41

very strong, but my sort of optimism and

1:02:43

self-confidence and resilience feels very strong at the

1:02:45

same time. And I think the net result

1:02:47

is you just end up somewhere in the

1:02:50

middle. Yeah. Something

1:02:52

that I thought was really interesting

1:02:54

on, uh, one of the

1:02:56

podcasts that I listened to that I'll wreck at

1:02:58

the end about the big five is

1:03:01

that lots of people,

1:03:03

I think 70% of

1:03:05

people don't like one of their scores don't

1:03:08

are, are ashamed. It's like, yeah, I'm a,

1:03:10

I'm a little bit ashamed of my conscientiousness

1:03:12

score. Um, but does that

1:03:14

mean, okay, you're stuck with this. This

1:03:17

is who you are forever. And the

1:03:19

good news is that you can

1:03:21

change your scores if there is,

1:03:24

and this involves, I mean,

1:03:26

if you were going to do it really

1:03:29

aggressively, I think it would be a type

1:03:31

of like cognitive behavioral therapy, uh,

1:03:33

but even making

1:03:35

small decisions to do something

1:03:37

that is different than

1:03:40

what you would normally do can change. So

1:03:42

even as you're dealing with your anxiety, I

1:03:44

think recognizing your anxiety, seeing it

1:03:46

for what it is. Uh, and

1:03:48

then deciding, you know, what, what am I

1:03:50

going to do? What's my answer to

1:03:53

that anxiety? Extra

1:03:58

version isn't like at. at the next party,

1:04:00

that's a big one. Yeah. Maybe

1:04:03

I should make you go up to people, if

1:04:05

you want to, but maybe you're happy with your extraversion

1:04:07

score. No,

1:04:09

I'd like to be better at it. OK,

1:04:13

let's talk about some of these observations

1:04:16

that have been made. Just

1:04:20

start with a weird one. A

1:04:25

preference for bitter tastes. This

1:04:28

is people with high openness. An

1:04:31

interesting and somewhat unexpected correlation has been found

1:04:33

between high openness and a preference for bitter

1:04:35

taste, including black coffee and dark chocolate. The

1:04:40

preference contrasts with more universally palatable tastes

1:04:42

and might reflect a broader openness to

1:04:44

a wide variety of sensory experiences. I

1:04:47

love black licorice. You do. I do not.

1:04:52

People know the weird stuff that I

1:04:55

like. Things that taste weird and

1:04:57

taste challenging. Is the way that

1:04:59

I would describe them. Or

1:05:01

challenging, unusual tastes. Olive's

1:05:04

is not really that challenging, unless

1:05:06

you're linked. But there's

1:05:08

a lot of people who don't like it,

1:05:11

right? Because it's the only thing that tastes like

1:05:13

that. And

1:05:16

I think that this

1:05:18

must be, it

1:05:20

just totally tracks. And

1:05:23

you don't like black licorice, but you

1:05:25

like basically everything. I do now.

1:05:28

Another interesting thing, that's

1:05:31

an interesting fascinating thing,

1:05:35

is that you can, with

1:05:37

age, a lot of these

1:05:39

characteristics typically

1:05:41

shift in people. So I

1:05:43

think people become

1:05:46

more conscientious. And

1:05:48

that is just brain science.

1:05:51

Your prefrontal cortex comes

1:05:53

online as you

1:05:55

age. People become more

1:05:57

conscientious. I think people

1:05:59

become less. open. So

1:06:01

I do feel like I have become more

1:06:04

open to different tastes. I actually crave different

1:06:06

tastes now. I kind of like get

1:06:09

sick of the same taste. So

1:06:12

yeah. Cryptocurrency

1:06:17

investment. Some

1:06:19

research suggests that people high in openness

1:06:21

may be more inclined to invest in

1:06:23

cryptocurrency. Their attraction to novel and innovative

1:06:25

financial products can be seen as an

1:06:28

extension of their general openness. Well,

1:06:33

their openness to new ideas and technologies

1:06:36

despite the risks. So this is

1:06:39

pretty funny because I don't

1:06:43

thankfully at this point I'm not very

1:06:45

like day to day involved when it

1:06:47

comes to my finances. Right. But

1:06:55

when everybody started talking about crypto

1:06:58

a couple of years ago, I felt

1:07:01

this compulsion to be

1:07:05

like, I need to understand this. And if I need and I

1:07:07

need to get in on this. And

1:07:11

because that is on me to do and

1:07:13

the people in like the, you

1:07:16

know, the people who helped me

1:07:18

with my finances are like really

1:07:20

fiscally conservative people who are like when

1:07:22

I asked them a question about it, they were like, you

1:07:25

know, we may invest in some cryptocurrency

1:07:29

technologies that help, you know, on the investment side.

1:07:32

But in terms of just buying individual different cryptocurrencies,

1:07:34

like if you want to do that, that's something

1:07:36

you need to do on your own. And

1:07:39

because for my own sanity and also because of

1:07:41

the things I want to actually spend my time

1:07:43

on, that is a big barrier for me

1:07:45

to be like, I'm going to be on my phone on some app

1:07:47

or whatever. But eventually I did figure it out. But I figured it

1:07:50

out so late. It was

1:07:52

like one month before all the bottom completely

1:07:54

fell out. So it didn't go well

1:07:56

for me. But that was that

1:07:58

was Yeah, there is because I don't

1:08:01

I think it's good to know these things about

1:08:03

yourself because just it's like a new shiny idea

1:08:05

like okay AI starts getting

1:08:07

pretty scary and everybody starts talking about

1:08:09

it and then immediately I have this

1:08:12

tendency to want to Well,

1:08:14

where can I use this in my life? What do I need

1:08:16

to do about this? Like I just have a Receptivity

1:08:19

to it is my first

1:08:22

instinct versus a skepticism in

1:08:24

a sort of an alienation But

1:08:29

this also relates to Values

1:08:33

and beliefs which this

1:08:35

might explain one particular event in our

1:08:37

lives Individuals

1:08:40

with high levels of openness often hold

1:08:42

unconventional beliefs and values. They might be

1:08:44

more questioning of traditional norms and more

1:08:47

receptive to new and diverse Ideologies

1:08:50

this can extend to religion politics

1:08:53

and personal values So

1:08:56

again, the way that

1:08:58

I often like retrospectively tell

1:09:01

the story of my deconstruction

1:09:04

and deconversion Is

1:09:07

that like okay it was and

1:09:10

I don't try to over I try not to oversimplify

1:09:12

it But it was like it's characterized by primarily a

1:09:14

search for the truth and the discovery of these

1:09:17

things not being true, which I Still

1:09:20

believe to be mostly the case,

1:09:22

but I also am more Willing

1:09:26

to admit that like our brains

1:09:28

are limited in their capacity to

1:09:30

determine truth, you know but

1:09:33

I can definitely see that like this

1:09:36

tendency to be open like I was

1:09:40

Obviously open to the idea

1:09:42

that What

1:09:45

we had sort of gone so hard

1:09:47

at for so long and given ourselves

1:09:49

so fully to might be wrong Yeah,

1:09:53

I mean I think it explains a lot

1:09:55

of the cognitive dissonance

1:09:57

I felt As

1:10:02

I would lay in bed from a

1:10:04

very early age, trying

1:10:07

to wrap my head around the problem

1:10:09

of evil or how

1:10:12

God could send most of the

1:10:14

world to hell. And

1:10:17

I knew what I had to believe,

1:10:19

what I was supposed to believe, and

1:10:22

I kept trying to make

1:10:24

myself believe it. And I think

1:10:26

I had convinced myself

1:10:28

that I did believe it. But

1:10:31

in the same way, looking

1:10:33

back again, hindsight is 20-20, but

1:10:35

looking back in the

1:10:37

same way that my OCD always

1:10:40

felt like it was almost something outside

1:10:42

of me, didn't really feel

1:10:44

like me. It was like a

1:10:46

voice that I had to listen

1:10:48

to even though it didn't feel like

1:10:51

it was authentically me. And

1:10:54

I think some of those, the more

1:10:56

stringent or more... The

1:11:03

ultra-traditional conservative aspects of

1:11:05

our fates caused

1:11:08

me a lot of anguish, mental

1:11:10

anguish. Because

1:11:12

that's not how I was not... I did not

1:11:15

come into the world wired to look at the

1:11:17

world that way. Right. There

1:11:20

are personality types,

1:11:22

personality types, personality types

1:11:24

that gravitate

1:11:27

towards systematic,

1:11:30

sort of traditional systems

1:11:34

that are unchanging. One

1:11:36

of the things that makes religion, the

1:11:41

traditional religion, what it is, is this idea

1:11:44

that God has

1:11:46

settled all these issues. There's

1:11:48

no new information. It

1:11:51

was all revealed through Jesus, through

1:11:53

the Bible, if you're a Christian. And

1:11:57

we need to keep going back to those

1:12:00

traditional... additional ideas and

1:12:02

those are the things that God revealed

1:12:05

versus the tendency to want to believe

1:12:07

that There is there

1:12:09

if there's information and truth that's

1:12:12

yet to be revealed there's sort of an

1:12:14

evolution that is happening and we're headed towards

1:12:16

some new future and It's

1:12:20

funny because my personality was always

1:12:24

Was thinking that however It

1:12:27

was happening very much like in the context of

1:12:29

just within the church and so it would be

1:12:31

like I think

1:12:33

that's why I got so into this

1:12:35

idea of relational evangelism

1:12:37

in the late 90s and then decided

1:12:39

to go into doing this full-time and

1:12:41

teaching people about it, right because

1:12:45

relational evangelism or friendship

1:12:47

evangelism the idea that

1:12:49

you actually become

1:12:53

connected to people Versus

1:12:55

like create a series of public events or go

1:12:57

out on the street corner and tell people about

1:12:59

Jesus or go on a college Campus and argue

1:13:01

with people in the brickyard. I Hated

1:13:05

that type of evangelism. It was seen confrontational

1:13:07

and That felt

1:13:09

like a new idea Right

1:13:11

when like a speaker would talk about it

1:13:13

at Christmas conference. I was like or had a

1:13:16

new book I'll be oh, this is I like

1:13:18

this. This is a new idea those new

1:13:20

ideas lived within the context of this sort

1:13:22

of unchanging religion but eventually

1:13:24

that Tendency to want there

1:13:26

to be something new kind of just like the

1:13:29

system couldn't Hold

1:13:32

anymore if that makes sense Okay,

1:13:36

this is a funny one an Intriguing

1:13:39

study found that people who are more

1:13:41

conscientious and open

1:13:43

to experiences tend

1:13:45

to walk faster now

1:13:48

Walking speed is a point of contention

1:13:50

in our relationship. Why don't you tell

1:13:53

us your perspective on that Jesse? Well,

1:13:56

why don't you tell the people how tall you are? That

1:14:00

might help they know I know you've never

1:14:02

you've never mentioned that before it's actually six

1:14:04

six and three quarters Okay, listed six seven

1:14:07

places six six How

1:14:09

tall is the wife that you love

1:14:12

and married the bride the wife of

1:14:14

your youth your bride? Who's

1:14:17

sitting across beside you? She's not

1:14:19

very tall. Mm-hmm. I'd say five

1:14:21

three. Mm-hmm Five three five in between

1:14:23

five three and five four. Oh, what's

1:14:25

a fight for? Okay, that's for It's

1:14:28

better to my point for me to be that

1:14:30

very okay, so Inherently

1:14:33

in our heights there's gonna be a difference

1:14:35

in how fast we walk because your legs

1:14:37

are longer and you can cover more ground

1:14:40

Even though for somebody who loves science

1:14:42

you refuse to admit that truth

1:14:47

Um, I don't know what the studies show

1:14:49

about tallness and speed

1:14:51

of walking But I tend

1:14:53

to think that a lot of tall guys while

1:14:55

they are tall They sort of move like gentle

1:14:57

Giants and so it all comes out in

1:14:59

the wash Like I think if you go

1:15:02

to an airport and you just independently observe people

1:15:04

walking I don't think all the tall people will

1:15:06

be walking faster. I just don't believe no, but

1:15:08

they are covering capacity

1:15:11

to go faster, but think

1:15:14

about it The

1:15:16

fact that people in the world you go to like the

1:15:18

hundred meter dash. It's not a bunch of six foot seven

1:15:20

people Maybe it should be I

1:15:22

mean Usain Bolt was actually really

1:15:25

tall for a sprinter So

1:15:28

anyway, you can see this is a point of contention because

1:15:30

I walk faster than my wife and It's

1:15:34

not my height. It's the fact that we're both

1:15:36

open to experiences, but I'm a little bit more

1:15:38

conscious Congratulations

1:15:42

you get the fast Walker prize

1:15:46

I think that there should be what

1:15:48

we should do is we should start our own

1:15:50

test and it's just the walking speed test and

1:15:55

All you got to do is you just press a button

1:15:57

on your phone and then you walk and

1:16:00

then it tells you how fast you're walking and then

1:16:02

where you land in the average. And

1:16:04

I know that you're like in the like

1:16:06

single digits. I

1:16:09

don't, okay, if I go to the airport with Link,

1:16:13

he's walking faster than me. Like

1:16:15

if I have to keep up with him, I

1:16:18

feel like I'm kind of ambling. And I'm like, oh, really, he's

1:16:20

going for it. And so I like try to catch up with

1:16:22

him. If I go to the airport with you, I feel like

1:16:24

I have to stop, look backwards. Sometimes

1:16:26

I have to walk backwards. What

1:16:34

kind of shoes are you

1:16:36

wearing? Because I'm not always,

1:16:38

while I'm not wearing like stilettos,

1:16:41

I'm not always wearing shoes

1:16:43

that are conducive to

1:16:46

fast pace walking.

1:16:48

Yeah, I agree with that. But

1:16:51

sometimes you're in your tennis shoes and you're going slow. Well,

1:16:54

I'm just saying now we know why. I'm

1:16:56

right, yes. And if

1:16:58

I could just be more agreeable. Because

1:17:01

you're more neurotic, is that right? I'll be

1:17:03

more agreeable and empathetic and just walk slower on

1:17:05

this. Which I have been doing. I don't like

1:17:07

leave you, I've never left you. I

1:17:10

mean, sometimes I forget that you're there and I

1:17:12

don't look back and then you're gone, but that's

1:17:14

very rare. I would say 70% of

1:17:17

the time you walk ahead of me. And you

1:17:19

know what? I

1:17:22

realized you are like preparing the way. Who

1:17:24

knows what we're gonna need in time. You

1:17:27

don't know that you're doing it. I'm a

1:17:29

big man, I'm like a shield. And that is

1:17:31

something that I

1:17:33

have decided is not the

1:17:35

hill I wanna die on in our relationship. Okay,

1:17:40

maybe we should get a harness that

1:17:42

connects us side by side. We'll

1:17:45

sell that on our walking speed website.

1:17:47

Listen, don't make

1:17:50

a promise you can't keep. We

1:17:52

do that all the time. We

1:17:55

also make websites we have to buy. That's why I'm

1:17:57

not coming up with a dot com. Don't do it.

1:18:02

This is interesting. This

1:18:04

can be our last little thing. Okay. And

1:18:07

then we'll go on about our day. Pet

1:18:09

preference. Study

1:18:13

shows that dog people are about 15%

1:18:15

more extroverted and 13% more agreeable than

1:18:20

cat people. So you are extremely high

1:18:22

in both of these and you are

1:18:24

a really,

1:18:28

really big dog person.

1:18:30

I am. I am. I

1:18:32

love the little doggies. I

1:18:34

love my little Barbara and Sean and

1:18:36

other people's dogs as well. I love

1:18:39

your dog. But

1:18:41

this is the problem. I

1:18:45

am low on extroversion and

1:18:48

low on agreeableness, which

1:18:50

means that scientifically speaking, I'm a

1:18:52

cat person. I'm

1:18:58

actually supposed to be a cat

1:19:00

person. This

1:19:03

is like paradigm

1:19:06

shifting, groundbreaking stuff. You're

1:19:10

going to have to sit with that. But

1:19:13

I'm allergic. I can't sit with a cat.

1:19:15

I'm allergic to it. Maybe

1:19:18

we need more cat art in our house or

1:19:21

maybe we need to visit a cat cafe.

1:19:24

Well, here's the thing. I'm not

1:19:26

as against cats as my

1:19:29

internet persona would have you believe. I also don't

1:19:31

like beans as much as my internet persona would

1:19:33

have you believe. I really like

1:19:36

beans. I like beans a

1:19:38

lot more than the average person, but you would think that

1:19:40

there's always a bean in my mouth based on the way

1:19:42

that people talk about it. There's

1:19:45

always beans in your house. There's not a bean in my mouth

1:19:47

right now. And I don't really

1:19:50

hate cats. I just prefer dogs because

1:19:52

I like, because I have pets, not

1:19:54

for them, I have pets for me.

1:19:56

Right? I have pets for what

1:19:59

they do for me emotionally. those kittens when we

1:20:01

were in North Carolina and we went

1:20:03

to that sofa store and they

1:20:06

have a manufacturer and they happen to have

1:20:08

a stray cat who had had a a

1:20:12

little what's it litter

1:20:15

baby yeah they're just

1:20:17

trash I'm

1:20:21

kidding I love I love

1:20:23

kittens yeah they had

1:20:26

a litter of kittens and you were picking

1:20:28

up those kittens

1:20:33

I made a little giant

1:20:35

that you were I made an overture

1:20:39

was that the right word I

1:20:41

extended an olive branch to a cat in our

1:20:43

neighborhood and then he died well he

1:20:46

went missing we don't know no he became a meal

1:20:48

for a coyote a little orange

1:20:50

cat greet us and I would pet

1:20:52

him so I think that maybe that maybe that's

1:20:58

room heading maybe I'm heading to

1:21:01

be a person that can start conversations I'm

1:21:04

heading to be a person who

1:21:06

walks slowly has a cat but

1:21:10

the allergy thing is a real problem though

1:21:13

it is it is yeah you can't

1:21:15

there's nothing you can do about that it's not like

1:21:17

an intense allergy but our son has an intense cat

1:21:19

allergy so there you go

1:21:21

you're off the hook babe and

1:21:25

I'm I'm headed towards being a person

1:21:27

who is more

1:21:29

organized who plans

1:21:32

ahead who

1:21:35

is super super driven and

1:21:38

like you said that is one of the

1:21:40

things that has

1:21:43

been observed about all of these traits

1:21:45

is that you can change

1:21:48

them it takes intention

1:21:50

yeah so answering you know going to

1:21:52

one of these sites taking

1:21:55

the big five personality test being

1:21:57

as honest as you can and then taking

1:22:00

a look at the scores, it just lets

1:22:02

you, I think anything that

1:22:04

gives you this sort of sense of who

1:22:06

you are and who you are in comparison

1:22:08

to other people, not to like compete, but

1:22:10

to kind of know like from a self-awareness

1:22:12

standpoint, like this is how I show

1:22:14

up for people. I mean, I realize that this is

1:22:16

how I'm showing up for people. For

1:22:19

me, I would have always said

1:22:21

to you probably up until my like

1:22:23

late twenties that I was extroverted because

1:22:26

I was kind of like always like signing

1:22:28

up for stuff and I'll

1:22:31

leave this or I'll do that and

1:22:33

without any hesitation, but I wasn't

1:22:35

really stopping to think about the way I actually

1:22:37

was interacting with people socially. So

1:22:40

you can learn stuff about yourself and then you can

1:22:42

make, you can have an intention to change it if

1:22:45

you so choose. Do

1:22:48

you have a wreck for us? Oh yeah,

1:22:50

the podcast that, one

1:22:53

of the podcasts I listened to that

1:22:56

was one of the initial reasons I wanted to

1:22:58

talk about this today. It was

1:23:00

science versus they have an episode on

1:23:03

personality tests, but they focus on the

1:23:05

big five a lot and there's

1:23:07

lots of, they're always great about citing their sources. Is

1:23:09

that the one where they talk about like

1:23:12

the origin of Myers-Briggs and how

1:23:15

it's not scientific and like how they came

1:23:17

up with it? I think they talk

1:23:19

about some of the frustrations

1:23:22

people have or reasons that some of

1:23:24

these other personality tests are not as

1:23:27

scientifically rigorous or scientifically rigorous at

1:23:29

all as the big five. That's

1:23:33

a great podcast in general. It is. About

1:23:35

any subject that you might be interested in, they probably have

1:23:37

talked about it. Well, thank you

1:23:39

for joining me, Jesse. Thanks for inviting me,

1:23:41

Brett. I like being this close to

1:23:43

you and not having to shout at you across the table.

1:23:46

Yeah, but next time

1:23:48

let's do it without microphones. No,

1:23:51

we're gonna get you a clock brook mic. So

1:23:53

you can do whatever you want, you can go wherever you

1:23:55

want. Thanks

1:23:57

for listening. Remember

1:24:00

we want you to be a part of the

1:24:02

conversation. You can call us at 1-888-EARPOD1. And

1:24:08

we appreciate it. If you enjoy this podcast, it helps

1:24:10

a lot if you go and rate it and review

1:24:12

it wherever you listen

1:24:14

to this podcast. We'll

1:24:17

talk to you next week. Hey

1:24:19

Rhett and Link. New

1:24:22

fan here. Somebody really great. Turn

1:24:24

me on to you guys and I listen

1:24:27

to you every single day. The good

1:24:29

thing about being a late to the

1:24:31

game fan is that I've got years

1:24:34

and years of content to

1:24:37

get caught up on and I just love it.

1:24:44

Have you heard of Nordic Knots? The

1:24:47

Scandinavian rug company that has become the insider

1:24:49

brand, gracing some of the most beautiful homes

1:24:51

around the world. With

1:24:53

rug designs by some of the world's

1:24:55

leading designers and a signature collection of

1:24:57

wool and jute rugs in modern colors.

1:25:00

But Nordic Knots is not just about great

1:25:03

design. Their mission is to make

1:25:05

quality rugs at last. With

1:25:07

no compromises. Good weave

1:25:09

certified handmade pieces woven in all

1:25:11

natural materials. At nordicknots.com

1:25:13

it's easy to find a rug

1:25:15

that's just right. A curated

1:25:17

collection in lots of colors and sizes to

1:25:20

choose from. Even custom sizes

1:25:22

are possible. So

1:25:24

whether you're the type who loves the

1:25:26

understated elegance of their luxury essentials or

1:25:28

the bold statements from their top designer

1:25:30

collaborations, you can't really go wrong. Oh

1:25:33

and don't tell anyone, but right now

1:25:35

you can get a free sample with

1:25:38

the code innercircle. nordicknots.com