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Mythical. Ear

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Biscuits is supported by the farmer's dog.

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I love my doggies. I always want them to be

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with me. That's why I have Jade tattooed on my

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my dogs are with me as I'm recording this and

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I want them to be with me and as healthy

0:19

for as long as possible. Are you gonna get a

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Jasper tattoo? Is that what you're saying? I

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might. Hmm, that arm's gonna get

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their ideal weight, which is one of the

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our code or click podcast after you sign up for

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your first box. Welcome

1:36

to Ear Biscuits, the podcast where two

1:38

lifelong friends talk about life for a

1:41

long time. I'm Link. And I'm Rhett.

1:43

This week at the round table of

1:45

dem lining, we're going to be finding

1:47

out just how

1:50

good or bad of a rider

1:52

we each are. A

1:57

rider. A rider. You're

2:00

not talking about a horse rider. Rider. A

2:03

passenger. You're talking about a, in

2:05

an Uber. An Uber rider. Mm-hmm.

2:08

Okay. There's now a way

2:10

to find out. Maybe there's always been a way and

2:12

no one explained it to me. Okay, all

2:15

right. And I know that you're also

2:17

like really big into a new thing that like

2:19

you just, you're so excited or you can't stop

2:21

talking about it. is like, it's

2:24

become so much of a bigger thing because

2:26

we've almost included it in the past like

2:28

three episodes. And in that comfort time, it

2:31

isn't, yeah, it's the thing that keeps getting

2:33

comfort time. And

2:35

now it's kind of built up and I, I, I,

2:37

you know what? I'm not gonna disappoint you. I'm not

2:39

gonna disappoint you. I'm potentially gonna change

2:41

your life. Well

2:43

I have something to add this week. So

2:45

you might get it covered. No,

2:49

I'm going first. You go first, okay. What? Well,

2:51

Link, last episode you asked me to make

2:54

you a vision board based off of your

2:56

passions and I made you a vision board.

2:58

Really? Yes, okay. Well now,

3:00

like I should have ranked my passion. Yeah, he should have.

3:03

I would have made you one too. Oh, okay, all right.

3:06

Did you go a little rogue? Don't, well don't tell me.

3:08

Yeah, you'll have to see. All right, I'll have to see

3:10

it. Oh, I got a vision board. Where is it? I

3:12

have it hidden. It's hidden under my

3:14

desk. It's not gonna be that big. Yeah, I have it hidden under my

3:16

desk. Little? Is it frameable?

3:19

It is. Anything's frameable.

3:22

Speaking of frameable, one

3:25

of the best Christmas gifts I got, I still

3:27

have not put up on my wall and it

3:30

was framed. Lily

3:32

surprised me with a, she

3:36

emulated like a concert poster, like

3:39

a venue poster, but

3:43

it was Lincoln,

3:49

Lily's listening party,

3:51

spa listening party or something.

3:53

Hot tub, hot tub, it's

3:56

not in front of me but I can hear exactly.

3:58

Hot tub listening party. And it was I feel like

4:00

it was an event. Cause we would get

4:02

in the hot tub and listen to music. And

4:04

like, I would turn her on. How does she

4:06

have it made? She just had a friend

4:09

who was a graphic designer who like made it. Isn't

4:11

that sweet? Oh, that's so sweet. It's so sweet. And it's

4:13

so sweet that I- I guess it's never done anything that

4:16

sweet for me. I haven't put it up. I

4:18

haven't put it up. How big are we talking? You

4:21

know, it's like a 11 by 17. You

4:23

know, it's like a- Well, that made you feel special. It made

4:25

me feel special. And now I gotta follow through. I

4:27

gotta put that thing up. I think I'm gonna

4:29

put it in my office in the creative house. You know, it's

4:31

like, I can put anything I want on

4:33

my walls in my office. It's a great reason

4:36

to have a creative house. I don't have to have like

4:38

buy-in from, you know, Can't

4:40

put it in your bedroom. The family or

4:42

Christy. Christy runs point on like the aesthetic

4:45

of everything in the house. And

4:47

this doesn't quite fit, you know? That's

4:49

why my realm is the garage. But I

4:51

don't have any art hanging on the wall

4:53

in the garage. There's no room for that.

4:57

Yeah, there's like equipment. Cabinets and

4:59

equipment. Toys. Yeah. Trash.

5:03

You know, that reminds me, something that I talked

5:05

about with Jesse recently that I failed to talk

5:08

about on the podcast. And this is something that

5:10

I built up years ago. And you know about

5:12

it. Yeah, that's right. I know what you're talking

5:14

about. Cause I, when you talk about something framed

5:16

in the creative house. The best gift you've ever

5:18

gotten. I built up that Jesse had gotten me

5:20

the best gift that I've ever gotten. And

5:23

I recently had a discussion with

5:26

her and with some friends who

5:28

were looking at it. And I came to the

5:30

conclusion that I did want to talk about it,

5:32

but I do not want to show it. But

5:35

I wanna talk about it. But I wanna three years later.

5:38

It's two years later, really. Yeah, and I wanna make good.

5:41

I mean, I think it's been three years. I don't know. Just

5:44

wanna make sure I'm getting. What

5:47

are you doing? What are you googling? Oh.

5:52

That I'm getting his

5:55

information right. Okay,

6:05

So. What

6:09

it was was. Jesse.

6:13

Has a has a friend who

6:15

used to run a be associated

6:17

with an art gallery and there

6:19

was an artist. This pen and

6:22

ink artist. Name Ronny Raygun.

6:24

Ronnie Raymond as. Who.

6:28

Is. Just a great like ten

6:30

innings, you know? Artist.

6:33

And he had. I

6:35

don't think he had done this particular thing

6:37

before, but. Jesse. Was talking

6:39

to a friend and she was like. Really? Liked

6:42

pen and ink and I've got

6:44

this idea where. I

6:46

want to like give a pen and

6:48

ink artist like information about him and

6:51

us. you know, as a couple. And

6:55

like you can I like right like

6:57

a story about him a light his

6:59

life and then have somebody create like

7:01

a pen and ink. Drawing

7:04

that he a of

7:06

reds. In:

7:08

When I say pinning, you know how detailed

7:10

it is. But when I say pinning, that's

7:13

literally like four feet by three feet. When

7:15

the think this big. Yeah. It's

7:18

huge is still is the width of the

7:20

couch in your office. Been away She the

7:22

way she got me with this is. She.

7:26

Was like is gonna be a birthday present that

7:28

it was a is can be a Christmas present

7:31

It kept getting pushed back because it was a

7:33

huge make you be so detailed it was so

7:35

detailed and on of he had done when this

7:37

big before and he's like so talented and so

7:39

committed to like making. It

7:41

amazing that he just was. I'm going to work

7:43

on it until it's times you that is fine.

7:46

So as an autobiographical piece of art, Didn't

7:48

I don't want to discuss the reason, I don't want

7:51

to talk about the specific. Let me tell your story

7:53

of how he revealed it to me. She's I am

7:55

going to give you is present but we have to

7:57

drive. To. This place in the valley.

8:00

And. I'm we kind of drove to like some. Weird

8:03

part of the like western side of

8:06

the. The Valley. Okay,

8:09

And why in the hell is this gonna be

8:11

in another certain that we what we pull up

8:13

next to. The. Car and

8:15

there's a dude in the car. You.

8:18

Were like in a Walmart parking lot of some of

8:20

it was like a parking lot in a strip mall.

8:23

Oh. And but

8:25

kind of in a weird like that

8:27

weird weird strip mall. the didn't and

8:29

had weird stores and. We.

8:32

Get out and she's like it's in the back of

8:34

disguised. As she v and

8:36

my is it a dog like I guess this

8:39

is sweet. You know when somebody is guys you

8:41

the best. guess they've ever got new and are

8:43

taking you into a parking lot. Yeah.

8:46

And then you'd as open as a backup said back

8:48

at this guy's car. Is. Probably a

8:50

league Own is an interesting looking guy. You.

8:52

Know that. What? does this guy? haven't? his?

8:55

Truck. And then she

8:57

opens it up in there's a seat over something and

9:00

any like take the sheet off and like. I

9:02

had no idea. Solace and I look at

9:04

this thing. And. I'm like holy shit

9:06

this is like this a main this amazing.

9:09

Drawing Yeah. Ah

9:11

but this use I will look closely at than

9:14

us are looking at other. Oh shit this is

9:16

custom and this is. This. Is for

9:18

me and issues like. That. He

9:20

has me this or don't see a

9:22

camera who had it's dislike manila envelope

9:24

that had the story in it which

9:26

is like this is the information age

9:29

she gave him the then have him

9:31

create this artistic representation of my life

9:33

and like our life together. And

9:36

so is just is so person all. That.

9:39

A kind of wanted to be something that is just

9:41

like you come into the creative house and see it

9:43

really if you're my friend but I don't want i

9:45

like show it to the internet but i wanted side

9:47

is so bad because this guy ronnie ray worked so.

9:50

Run. A remained as work so hard

9:52

on it that. You know I'm

9:54

in a paid import of course. But like I want to

9:56

a he's so good at what he does, he doesn't He

9:59

doesn't The only thing. That you did other stuff too.

10:01

But. He worked

10:03

on it for over a year. I know within

10:05

a year but it was months is that it

10:07

was. That is full time job. He has another

10:09

job a camera what it is bus to this

10:11

is like a nights and weekends causing and you

10:13

can only spend so much time it's superseding there

10:16

and get like when you look closely you as

10:18

you can stand there. I've had friends stand there

10:20

for thirty minutes looking at it and then I'll

10:22

be like well this means this and this means

10:24

this and this I don't even really know. Maybe

10:26

Jesse knows like Wells looking at it with Jesse

10:29

of weeks ago with with. Some

10:31

friends? Yeah, She was pointing out

10:33

things as a oh i hadn't realized that with that

10:35

was for. She

10:37

remembers because she gave him all the praise his

10:39

town like Eb. Is a

10:42

fantastical. representation.

10:44

Of your life it does require like.

10:47

My kind of telling a story. In your

10:49

mind, you're making connections. Between.

10:52

Your life in this is not so it's

10:54

a If yeah it's it's a It's very

10:56

cool and like the style is. Very

10:58

insecure but it also com esse shifts There's

11:01

like. Some. Very photo realistic parts

11:03

and is like some super fantastic of

11:05

parts in a can of mixes together.

11:07

Yet like it is giant landscape. When.

11:10

We been brainstorming like the last, and we

11:13

are brainstorming. We. Were in

11:15

your office and to some us of can stare

11:17

at it because it contained a senior mine in

11:19

a bunch of different ways. He knows that others

11:21

and nature part in their site. Is

11:24

like a car uses drive in it. Was

11:27

in a car that I drove his car I wanted.

11:29

That's right, Yeah. Okay, I'm

11:31

not going to give a more details why but

11:33

it it definitely will be way as price. I

11:35

mean that's an heirloom that's like this as a

11:37

hell of a getting his ability as a very

11:40

out. At course I haven't seen division board that

11:42

General Iraq or Adelheid. that's not a gift because

11:44

I commissioned it. As a. As.

11:47

It isn't working hours since may be doing

11:50

okay right now they can. I get a

11:52

device six ideal and I model. I got

11:54

a lot to do so as it is

11:56

a say in other words I need a

11:58

love it it's added. A retarded it

12:00

in a gift. Eat up. He still needs

12:03

eleven And the the love it. I really.

12:05

Can't rally in a you want me? these are they. They

12:07

me, Neither do. I was if you're joking and

12:10

last episode of America sided Okay before we

12:12

talk about with before you dig into our.

12:15

Ooh burn rubber Rating: So we get to see

12:17

our over ratings. Oh God Yeah. okay, you're. Okay,

12:20

With that this is pretty exciting. This

12:22

is a long time coming in celebration

12:25

of the five year anniversary of the

12:27

Medical Society. Of course that is our

12:29

exclusive fan club where you can pay

12:31

at different levels to receive things that

12:33

are worth what you're paying for. There's

12:35

also an initiate level that is is

12:37

stark raving free and you can just

12:39

check out every the we have our

12:42

their five years have accumulated. Exclusive concert

12:44

a growing every week. We

12:46

have now. Game aside, the

12:48

mythical society as bright. so there's the

12:50

app where you can enjoy everything from

12:52

the society. But now ah, you can

12:55

play along every day. With a

12:57

good medical morning. Ah, even as

12:59

an end initiate I get you can. Had

13:01

had the free initiate level. Now what does

13:03

that mean to play along? Sometimes we play

13:05

games and you can't play along because you

13:07

get a different. Experience

13:09

comedic li by know any answers and we're

13:11

not talking about that as much as. Does.

13:15

The. Some ways it like our competition

13:17

can relate to your competition. But then

13:19

there's this other. Forms. Of knowledge

13:22

you have to plan to see. It's

13:24

like it is is trivial. It's trivia

13:26

base called think it and sink. Ah

13:28

yes, get it. A

13:31

on can accumulate a score with it on.

13:33

we almost got it sink make me horny

13:36

but we have. We will call it that.

13:38

Mozilla close second. Use a you want to

13:40

play over the course of the season and

13:42

then we're going to be recognizing that be

13:44

special prizes at the end of. This.

13:47

Next season again mythical morning from

13:49

those have accumulated. When.

13:52

right? Answers, so that's pretty cool.

13:54

Pretty excited about that are we

13:57

give out. exclude

13:59

exclusive quarterly collectible items like

14:02

physical collectible items every

14:04

quarter over the past five years. And

14:06

they're only available to third degree members

14:09

who are members at the time with

14:13

some stipulations. Always valuable, super

14:15

collectible, and then they're gone. But

14:18

if there's some that in the past you wish

14:20

you could have gotten, now is the time to

14:22

get those while supplies last. We

14:26

have like a little additional inventory of some

14:28

of these things, like whether it's in one

14:30

of the exclusive albums we released,

14:32

or the comic

14:35

book series that we've released

14:37

three editions

14:40

of that, you know, if you want to get

14:42

all those. Or if you want like the

14:44

blanket or the hoodie

14:46

blanket thing, like all the super cozy stuff

14:49

we release exclusively. Like any

14:51

new purchase, upgrade, renewal, or gift, any

14:54

way that you can get a third

14:56

degree annual plan through

14:58

January – I said January, I

15:01

meant February. Through February

15:03

29th, if

15:05

you sign up for any – I'm not doing a

15:07

good job of saying this. That's why we wrote it

15:09

down. And I should just read it. If

15:12

you get a third degree annual plan in

15:14

any form, including a gift card, through

15:17

February 29th, you

15:19

will have the choice of any of the

15:22

past quarterly items we've ever produced while supplies

15:24

last, first come, first served. So go to

15:26

mythicalsociety.com for all that stuff. Ear

15:33

Biscuits is supported by Chime. You know, I

15:35

pretty much put all my purchases

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on my credit card. I plan

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to pay it off in full every month, but I run

15:43

it through that to build my credit. You know what I'm saying? I

15:46

know what you're saying. You're talking about building credit,

15:48

Link. I'm talking about building credit, Rhett. No matter

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eligibility requirements and overdraft limit supply. Okay,

17:12

Link. It's a lot of fun over there. So,

17:17

Jamie found this TikTok that

17:19

was going around and basically it's this

17:21

woman who is saying, I

17:24

don't know if it's always been there if they just recently made this

17:26

available. I don't know either. But I

17:28

know for the longest time you couldn't see, I thought

17:31

the impression was you couldn't see your rating. Like you

17:33

knew your driver's rating, but you didn't know your rating.

17:35

And I always wondered like. Because

17:37

drivers can rate you. They do

17:39

rate you every time. Oh. And

17:43

I was kind of thinking, no, they don't rate me. So,

17:46

I'm gonna show you how to get to the ratings

17:49

and I will show you as you are listening

17:51

or watching. So you can look at your

17:53

ratings too if you use Uber. And

17:57

I'm interested to see. that

18:00

I was a little bit worried about. Yeah,

18:02

I'm worried. So I'm interested how

18:04

our ratings compare. Okay,

18:06

yeah. And then why? Well,

18:08

you know I just recently went on an

18:10

Uber against my will. That was my fault.

18:13

Why don't you tell him, Rhett, what you did? So

18:18

Link and I typically do not

18:20

carpool, unless we're recording an episode

18:22

of Car Biscuits for the Mythical

18:25

Society. Right. But

18:30

we live relatively close to each other and we

18:32

work very close to each other. So

18:34

sometimes it doesn't make sense. Yeah. You

18:37

texted me as I was about to leave one morning and you

18:39

said, hey, can you give me a ride? It's

18:41

like, sure, bud. I

18:44

didn't call you bud. I've never called you

18:46

bud, seriously. But you know, something like that.

18:48

I'd like for you to do that. And I picked you up

18:50

and I brought you in. And of

18:52

course, the understanding was-

18:54

I felt so seen at that moment. The understanding

18:56

was that I would also take you home. Yeah.

19:02

I forgot about it. I

19:04

didn't feel like I needed to establish that.

19:06

But then it's like, yeah. I actually said

19:08

in the text, what

19:11

are you doing at the end of the day? Can you give me a

19:13

ride in and bring me back home?

19:16

Oh, you did ask for, you covered both. I did

19:18

say that. Cause I didn't wanna ask for a ride

19:20

in and then be stranded. Listen, I have no defense

19:22

here. This is for that. 100% my fault. I

19:25

came in here to record an episode

19:27

of Dispatches from Myrtle Beach with my dad.

19:29

And boy, we got on a roll. You

19:32

know, when I started talking to my dad, boy, we get on

19:34

a roll sometimes. And I

19:36

was, you know, had that wonderful

19:38

time with him. And I step out of the booth

19:41

and I go right into our office,

19:43

right here, right behind us. So close. Share a wall.

19:45

It's the type of thing that if you decided, you

19:47

know what, I'm gonna leave, I'm just gonna

19:49

leave work. You might be reminded, cause the

19:51

next door you see is the one that the friend that

19:53

you brought to work is behind. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Still working.

19:56

I knew you were still in there. I just forgot I

19:58

brought you to work. I opened the door. into

20:00

the parking lot and not seeing your car, no

20:03

bells went off. It

20:06

didn't, did it? Well, a big bell went off

20:08

when I went into the pitch black office

20:10

of ours, like, it's not a light on, it's not

20:13

a soul, there's not a trace. Oh, come

20:15

on, I didn't turn the lights off. There's not a

20:17

trace. I didn't shut down. Of humanity. I'm

20:19

not a light turner offer, that's you, man. I

20:22

mean, I should be more responsible about that. It

20:24

was desolate in there, and it's just my heart

20:26

just sunk, and I'm like, oh my God, I'm

20:28

stranded. What am I gonna do? And

20:30

interestingly, this is actually kind of a, I feel like

20:33

this is more of an offense for me to

20:35

do it to you than for you to

20:37

do it to me, because you really hate

20:41

Ubers. You really hate having people take you

20:43

anywhere. You don't even like,

20:46

just to be honest with you, like, any time we have to go to the

20:48

west side, like, if I don't say anything, I know you're

20:50

gonna be like, I'll drive. And

20:52

like, I'm always like, he's got some reason that

20:55

he wants to drive, it's probably, I'm

20:58

not even gonna ask, but I don't mind not driving. But

21:01

it's a win-win. So I'm like, you don't

21:03

like to be driven anywhere. Okay,

21:06

you're bringing up a couple of things here. You're

21:09

highlighting why I'm so nervous about the fact

21:11

that now I'm about to see my Uber

21:13

review. I'm a little nervous because I thought

21:16

I just had immunity and also knew that

21:18

I was always upset when I'm in an

21:20

Uber. And I got to

21:22

tell you what happened with the Uber

21:25

that you stuck me in, too. But before I

21:27

get to that, I just as a side note

21:29

want to say, that yeah, whenever we have to drive

21:31

to the west side, I like to be

21:34

the one to drive because...

21:36

I like

21:39

driving. You

21:41

know, I enjoy it. I like getting

21:43

places fast. I thought it was because you were less,

21:46

you were more likely to get sick if you were

21:48

riding. I'm also more likely to get sick, because

21:51

we have to go over the hills and stuff.

21:53

Especially when, if I'm in the passenger seat, I

21:55

can't be on my phone. And like,

21:57

if we get in a conversation about something, it usually

21:59

requires... requires some form of like phone work. Like,

22:02

and then people are communicating with us it's

22:04

during work day, there's like work is happening

22:07

and we're being slacked and stuff. And

22:09

I'll get sick of them on my phone.

22:11

So I can serve the duo better by

22:13

being the driver. And then you

22:15

can be on your phone and you can actually do

22:17

things. You also like to type, I don't like to

22:19

type. I like to drive, I don't like to type. And

22:22

I can't do it in a car anyway. So this

22:24

is a win-win. I'm not complaining about it. Yep, because

22:26

my driving is not bad. I mean, Stevie

22:28

is scared of me driving for

22:31

some reason. I know it's cause I've almost hit pedestrians.

22:33

I'm a little bit scared of how you drive. But

22:35

like, we get there.

22:38

And I think I get there pretty fast. You gotta

22:40

actually hit any pedestrians. I have not. You've

22:42

only almost hit pedestrians. Right, right, right. There's a big difference.

22:45

Like there's a, like, you know, if you actually hit somebody,

22:47

we got a problem. If you almost hit somebody, it's

22:49

sort of like, it's almost like you didn't hit them at

22:51

all. Exactly. In fact, it's the same. Missing

22:55

a pedestrian is not ever hitting a

22:57

pedestrian. It's like they weren't even there.

22:59

Right, so I've missed

23:02

a lot of pedestrians. Almost all of

23:04

them. Almost counts in horseshoes and hitting

23:06

pedestrians. I don't know, I'm trying to, almost

23:08

doesn't count in horseshoes, but it does count

23:10

in hitting pedestrians. Almost,

23:13

almost, almost only

23:15

counts in horseshoes and hand grenades. It

23:18

does count. It does count with pedestrians. And

23:20

it does count with pedestrians. No, it doesn't.

23:23

If you nearly miss a pedestrian, you have not hit

23:25

the pedestrian, so it doesn't count. Just one little thing.

23:27

First of all, I already did apologize to you in

23:29

real life. Sorry for leaving you.

23:32

I feel like I deserve this. I will say. From the

23:34

Emmys thing. I will say, it was

23:37

the day of the NCAA

23:41

football championship game, which starts

23:43

at 4th, frickin' 30 on

23:46

the West Coast. And so, once the end of the day

23:48

started rolling around, I was like, and

23:50

Locke was still in town, I was like, oh, I've gotta

23:52

watch this game with my son, and so

23:55

I left work early, and I mean, he's like, remembering

23:58

your friend or watching football. with your

24:00

son, I'm sorry, I gotta get

24:02

my priorities straight. I gave you a hard

24:04

time over text, I was like, it's not a big deal. I

24:07

mean, I could have gotten a ride with somebody here, but I, you

24:09

know, I had already asked

24:11

Jenna to make a vision board, I didn't wanna ask her to take

24:13

me home. I

24:15

did offer, I was like, do you need a ride? Yeah, I

24:17

was like, I'll just Uber, it's fine, that's what Uber's for.

24:21

And I was like, well, I'm gonna get

24:23

the comfort. It's a little few

24:25

more dollars, but I wanna be comfortable. A little few

24:27

more. And I get in the back of this Uber,

24:32

and homeboy had been smoking

24:35

cigarettes. So there's been a diagram, Uber

24:38

driver and smoker. They just don't, more

24:40

likely than usual. It wasn't, I

24:44

get just like an immediate headache with

24:47

some cigarette smoke. I'm just like, it's

24:50

the worst for me. So it

24:52

triggered the headache 110% of the time. And

24:58

just because you get out of your car and you

25:00

smoke your cigarette, doesn't mean that when

25:02

you get back in your car, I can't smell it. There's

25:05

something about, it's on you, it's on your

25:07

person. It's still coming out of your person somehow, man.

25:10

And so here I am, like

25:13

rolling the window down. I

25:15

rolled the window down, and I felt bad about rolling the window

25:18

down. How cold of a day was that? It was pretty cold.

25:20

Pretty chilly. Okay, all right, you're writing the window down. I'm rolling

25:22

the window down, and I feel like

25:24

I'm sending him a message that I'd rather not be

25:26

like, hey, something around here stinks, and I think it's

25:28

you, so I'm rolling the window down. I

25:31

didn't like that, but I- What was the look on your face?

25:33

And did he have sunglasses on, and could you see him looking

25:35

in the rearview mirror? I wasn't looking at him. I was kind

25:38

of looking down, I rolled the window down, I kind of stuck

25:40

my nose out. I needed like golden retriever this day. You

25:43

headed out a little bit. The

25:45

funny thing is I did it, the place where

25:47

I did it is right before we get on

25:49

the interstate here in Burbank. And when I rolled

25:51

the window down- Oh no, you did it next

25:54

to the plant with the natural gas that comes out of it? Yeah,

25:57

there is a place in Burbank- I brought the fart bridge. When

25:59

you cross the bridge- It's a fart bridge. You

26:01

cross the bridge that goes over the

26:04

five on Burbank

26:06

Boulevard. It's a fart bridge. In Burbank.

26:08

It stinks. You will,

26:11

if you haven't crossed it before, every

26:13

single time you will assume that

26:15

someone, maybe you, farted. And

26:18

that's what my Uber driver thought I did.

26:20

Because I rolled the window down. So

26:23

it's like, I rolled the window down, he smells

26:25

a stink. Oh, it's like, this dude farted in

26:27

the back of a car. Oh, shit. Like, here

26:29

I am thinking about how bad he stinks. He's

26:31

thinking about how bad I stink. But you did

26:33

at least roll the window down. And then I'm

26:35

driving and we get. You're driving? Oh, this gets

26:37

interesting. I'm

26:40

riding and we get, he

26:42

doesn't know how to drive into traffic. And I'm like,

26:45

man, if I was driving, I'd be way over here,

26:47

I'd be cutting people off. It's taking twice

26:49

as long to get home. And I'm smelling this. He

26:52

didn't carpool lane. He didn't carpool lane and he's

26:54

not aggressive. And I mean,

26:57

it was good that he wasn't talking to me. I

27:00

did like that. There were no

27:02

words exchanged, except just the insinuation

27:04

of what the window rolling down meant. By

27:07

the time we get close to the house, I look

27:09

up and here we are going the wrong direction. He

27:11

is taking a wrong turn. And

27:13

at this point I decide, I'm

27:16

gonna let him have it in the review. I've

27:19

never done this, but here I am angry and my head

27:21

hurts. And it's really, I'm mad at Rhett and I need

27:23

to take it out on somebody. And I get home and

27:25

I tell Christy about it. I'm like, I'm thinking about writing

27:27

a review. She was like, well, that's what it's for. Write

27:31

it. And the way that they, once

27:33

you start writing, like I

27:35

put two stars. No, I put one

27:37

star. And then I was like, you

27:39

know what? I feel this isn't that bad.

27:42

I'm gonna put two stars. And

27:44

then I'm gonna like, well, it's not like he's reviewing

27:46

me. I gotta stick to my guns.

27:48

Well, first of all, I don't know if, well, A,

27:50

he is reviewing you, but B, I don't know. There's

27:52

no way he can see my review before I see

27:54

it. There's no way the system

27:56

is based on him looking at what he gave you. Reviews have

27:59

to be closed. Both sides before before

28:01

they're both gotta be blind that's

28:03

how air B&B

28:10

you don't see the review about you which you do see easily on air B&B once you submit

28:12

the review about the other person So I

28:14

did maybe you only see aggregate. I decided every

28:16

and B. You see the actual review. I know

28:18

for that. Yeah um I

28:21

stuck with my guns. I put one star and then

28:23

it's like, okay Well, why and you have to choose

28:26

from the things and was it like that's pretty harsh,

28:28

bro. Was it like And

28:30

it there were certain things in there

28:32

and one of them was wrong turn. I was

28:34

like, well wrong turn It was a big wrong

28:36

turn It's one of those when you

28:38

go the wrong way on the freeway and then you're like,

28:41

well, this is a two-star wrong turn Like you took two

28:43

stars off of the wrong turn How

28:45

do we get from five to one? That's what i'm trying to

28:47

figure emotionally honestly So

28:49

I clicked wrong turn and then it was like,

28:51

okay anything else anything and I didn't see anything

28:54

else But then it said other and i'm like,

28:56

yeah Well, the cigarette smell is something people should

28:58

know about so I put other And

29:00

then it brought up a whole other thing and one

29:02

of them was smell smell Yeah, and so I clicked

29:04

smell and I felt bad about it. Were there smell

29:06

options? There wasn't smell options It was just smell

29:09

and then I wrote because it could be a

29:11

good smell. I wrote cigarette smell

29:15

Cigarette smoke. That's what I wrote in the writing.

29:17

Okay. All right, and I I

29:19

did not put a tip. I usually tip even if it's

29:22

three days later and i'm opening the app a month later

29:24

I'm like, oh, yeah, I forgot the tip and then i'll

29:26

tip I'll always I

29:28

do always tip You really

29:30

let this guy have it and I It's

29:33

your fault and then I I submitted it and

29:35

I felt good about it and now Oh

29:38

man, this road goes both ways so

29:43

I'm going to show you how to do this. Do you think I was

29:45

wrong? First of all, do you think I was too harsh? I

29:47

mean it was it was three strikes. You're out. That would

29:50

have been Well, maybe I

29:52

was a little hard. I don't know one star

29:54

feels pretty pretty pretty hard pretty harsh You

29:57

know, he'll be I think you'll be okay. He'll probably

29:59

be Okay, he also had

30:01

a gonna derail his career because of this. The

30:03

thing is is that here's what he had a

30:06

billboard on top of his car. It was a

30:08

LED screen turned sideways like he was

30:11

a piece of delivery guy, but the

30:13

LED billboard on his

30:15

car was promoting

30:18

Uber. Oh, and

30:21

I'm like, oh, I got me a professional

30:23

Uber. I got like, whoo, this guy has

30:25

really got it going on. He'll be fine. So

30:28

my expectations were higher. But here's the other thing. I

30:32

have related to him. I have to assume I

30:36

pretty much have only ever given five stars, right?

30:38

Even if it's like, I mean, I kind of do

30:40

the same thing with, you know, servers

30:43

and restaurants. It's like,

30:45

unless you do something like, I'm

30:48

like 20% is my baseline, right? And

30:51

then if you do, if you like, you

30:54

said you were a fan, I'd definitely go

30:56

up significantly. If you did a

30:58

great job, I go up significantly. But like, it's

31:00

only you have to have done something rude

31:03

that was your fault as a server, you offended

31:05

me or something, which I don't know if it's

31:07

ever happened, right? When it

31:09

comes to the Uber thing, I

31:11

have given some marks off if it's like,

31:14

the if the cigarette smell was overwhelming.

31:18

You know what I'm saying? Yeah, but I don't think I went to

31:20

one star. I was just like, all right, I'm

31:22

gonna give a little feedback here. I think I'm gonna think

31:24

about that. But you also got the wrong

31:26

turn. So it was a double whammy. But I think

31:28

people probably are like, most of the time

31:31

is five stars. But then if I'm upset one star, so it

31:33

probably goes for drivers, there's probably a lot of fives in once.

31:35

So maybe it's fine. But let's look at our own. Okay,

31:38

okay. And I and correct me if I'm

31:40

wrong, if y'all know about this. I

31:45

think that if you cancel a ride, then

31:48

they can give you a rating and they'll give you

31:50

a bad rating. And I gotta

31:52

say, there's been multiple times where there's been

31:54

a canceled ride because of where I live and

31:56

how it'd be like, this dude's not moving.

32:00

I don't know if it's served, but. So

32:02

you're getting nervous too. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I've already

32:04

looked at mine. Oh, so you're

32:06

explaining. Okay, so open up

32:08

your Uber app. And

32:12

do they use this as a

32:14

way to decide if they're gonna take your

32:16

request? Probably. I don't know. Call

32:19

in if you're an Uber driver. Tell us

32:21

how you feel about what Link did. One.

32:23

And also answer any of the questions that we have. The number is

32:25

1-888- EarPods1.

32:28

EarPods1. So go to the lower

32:30

right hand corner, click on account.

32:32

Account, okay. Now

32:34

go to settings, the

32:36

bottom part of the screen there. Settings,

32:38

they've hidden it under settings. Okay. Then click

32:41

on privacy. Privacy,

32:43

really? And

32:46

then it says your data and privacy

32:48

at Uber. And then there's this little icon and

32:50

it says, would you like to see a summary

32:53

of how you use Uber? And then click on

32:55

see summary. I

32:58

don't wanna look at mine yet. Okay.

33:00

Explore your data. How to use this

33:02

tool. Can maybe define

33:04

stress is important. So then scroll

33:06

down to ratings. Well,

33:10

first of all, thank you for being with us

33:12

for, how many days have you been

33:14

with Uber? Oh,

33:21

I signed up the day before you. Everything

33:24

we do in life is like,

33:27

it's kinda on pace. One day of each other. I've taken

33:29

179 trips. I've

33:31

taken 224, which I don't think is a lot

33:33

of trips. How many trips have y'all taken if

33:35

y'all are in this? Mine

33:39

is around 190 something.

33:45

Okay. Okay. Not the same as me. Okay. Jamie, you're taking a

33:47

lot more. Yeah. A lot

33:49

of people take Lyft more. Okay. I'm not gonna. I use Lyft

33:52

or it depends on if there's a deal. I'm

33:54

gonna roll back and forth. I think I

33:56

think I got a Lyft and I don't know why.

33:59

I'm not gonna. data first. Okay. So

34:01

show me what you got. So if you're following

34:03

along you're gonna scroll down to ratings and

34:06

then you're gonna click on view

34:08

my ratings. They buried this. And

34:11

this takes a while the first time it took to generate

34:13

this it like thought a lot. Now I can just go

34:15

back and see it. Okay well I'm gonna go ahead and

34:17

click mine just so. Um,

34:21

it's gonna ask you another question and

34:23

ask you if you're sure or something and then it starts. Okay,

34:26

all right. So

34:28

my aggregate rating

34:30

is 4.73. That's good.

34:32

Which if I saw a

34:35

4.73 on a driver I'd be like okay but

34:40

I like to see 4.95. I like to see 4.99. Well you're above

34:42

four it's only out of five right? I'm

34:45

just saying I just I don't know how I think that might

34:47

be a little bit low. So no

34:50

160 we're gonna

34:52

compare all four of us here. So 165, five stars, 13, four stars. Those are I'm

34:54

most curious about

35:03

those 13, four stars like what what did

35:05

I do? What do you do as a

35:07

rider? I don't do anything. I

35:10

don't I'm so quiet. Maybe that's what it is.

35:12

Maybe I don't talk. Maybe I don't answer the

35:14

questions. I think you're making. I do answer some.

35:17

I think you're making them wait. You have

35:19

to walk down that long

35:21

driveway. Yeah. I

35:23

think you're late. Six, three stars. Six,

35:27

two stars. And

35:29

two, one star. Two,

35:32

all right the one star is just you

35:34

they were about to be at your place

35:36

and you you I've done that you cut

35:38

them off. Yeah you sent them packing. Well

35:40

there's been a couple of times from my

35:43

home where I've had to call an Uber

35:45

and a list. At the same time I'm

35:47

like whoever gets here first gets the ride

35:49

because it can

35:51

be so crazy at certain times and now once I

35:53

get the other ride I cancel the other one but

35:55

I shouldn't do that but Stevie

35:57

told me this and it's true. Things

36:00

have changed. man. thirty five years ago you

36:02

would be like. Finding.

36:04

Your over. Your. Of or five minutes

36:06

away. And. Five minutes later they were beat.

36:08

Your house. Now it says we're looking for your driver.

36:11

It waits. And. Then it says nine

36:13

Minutes and a Lot of people in my neighborhood.

36:15

Lot of drivers are my neighborhood. Who

36:17

live in my neighborhood? They. Just got.

36:19

Here's my theory. Maybe I'm wrong. Their part at

36:21

your house they have their app, all their on

36:24

the toilet, they're watching the game, they're doing whatever

36:26

they want to do and an Ac. Oh so

36:28

money's right. Okay

36:30

yes and that didn't think it is. Then they

36:32

do something else like eat a sandwich or know

36:34

what happens. but they don't get a my house

36:36

and I may try to find matching socks. And

36:38

to saying it seems a little bit so my

36:40

approach to the game has changed. But anyway so

36:43

I'm I'm at a four point seven, three. That's.

36:45

Still pretty good. That's.

36:47

A yet so you do a grab

36:50

bag approach. And you'll see you'll

36:52

You'll make a race to your door. As I'm

36:54

never in a live I may have done that

36:56

three times in my life. A I'm just saying

36:58

that it's. Under

37:00

certain circumstances of had to do it. Please

37:03

note ratings are optional. Not everyone will give

37:05

your rating. Rider. Ratings.

37:08

Four Point Seven six

37:10

Day. And

37:13

six. Tenths, Yes,

37:15

three, One hundred higher. Your.

37:18

Three One Hundred Three One Hundred Sire. Yeah, that's what

37:20

it is. Hundred and

37:22

Thirty Seven. Five star for

37:24

four, Star for three Star

37:26

Zero Two stars. And.

37:28

Six Wow. Okay, This

37:32

is the crazy thing. Why do I have so

37:34

many four stars? I don't. You.

37:37

Got six one stars. How

37:39

does this have? I'm heavy on the one

37:41

star, six one son. and for for and

37:43

for three, I've got quite a spread. Six

37:45

two stars, you get Zero Two stars. Happening

37:49

here. Ah I will say that. When

37:51

I called it over from here when you left me

37:53

remember that when you forgot I existed and how much

37:55

she cared about me and I had to find my

37:57

way home so called and hoover well I found the

37:59

Uber. And then it was like, I opened

38:01

my screen to see how far the Uber was away.

38:03

And at first it was like, you know,

38:05

seven minutes away. And then when it was four minutes,

38:08

I opened up the thing and I was like, oh,

38:10

four minutes. And my thumb clicked something. And

38:12

the next thing I knew, they

38:16

were, I had no ride. And

38:18

I think I clicked cancel. And

38:22

I think I've done that a lot. I

38:24

think I've done that at least

38:26

six times, apparently. Like just being

38:28

old man pushing, like instinctively pushing

38:30

the biggest button for no reason.

38:32

So I've canceled on accident, but I feel good

38:34

about this. Wow, I can, I can now, I

38:37

can really move forward wreaking some havoc. Jenny,

38:42

you gotta go next because Jamie, you've

38:45

got the biggest data

38:47

pool. Yeah. My score is

38:49

4.86. Dang.

38:52

He's the winner. I am a

38:54

delight. But

38:58

I will say I have

39:00

four one stars. Four

39:02

one stars, two, two

39:04

stars, one, three stars,

39:07

three, four stars and 188, five stars.

39:11

That's nice. Dang. Okay. You know the

39:13

thing I'm realizing? Lincoln has my Uber

39:15

account. Oh,

39:18

you know what? Oh. This

39:20

is Lincoln. This isn't even me. Why

39:22

does he have his own Uber account? I don't know.

39:24

Because I don't know. We just never, I just

39:28

said, if you ever need an Uber when

39:30

you're at college, you know, use the

39:33

Uber. But he should have his own account. He probably has his own now.

39:35

Because you would see it happening a lot. I

39:38

do see it. You would see the rides. I'll get emails and

39:40

I see his rides and stuff.

39:43

And then I tip his driver because

39:46

it's my account. Yeah, you gotta. He's making

39:48

me tip his, he's got it made, doesn't

39:50

he? And he's getting me these one star

39:52

reviews or he's probably the four and three

39:54

star. I will say I book

39:56

rides for you all via

39:59

my account. We're great from time to

40:01

time. Yeah, I can't I probably should I can't

40:03

blame the one stars on you I'm pretty sure

40:05

that's that's that's on me at some point Drunk

40:08

Jenna is a delight. Oh damn,

40:10

but maybe a mess I've

40:14

never made it. I've never never in

40:16

an uber, but I've certainly been with

40:18

my friends Yeah, and called uber places

40:20

and like been in the uber with

40:22

him and be like, oh my god,

40:25

please please please I need

40:27

a golden bad core get us out of here

40:30

That I mean definitely been there Yeah, when you

40:32

start to factor in like vomiting in somebody's car

40:34

and that can only the worst that can be

40:36

is a one star I feel

40:38

a little bad about giving my boy one star taking

40:40

me home just for a wrong turn in some cigarette

40:43

smell I mean he didn't vomit on me You

40:48

can look through your past rides and I basically

40:50

have given everybody five stars, but then like every

40:52

like 10th ride it says

40:54

canceled because it's like I've Yeah,

40:57

I shot myself in the foot here. Okay,

41:00

Jamie Okay, so my I do have

41:02

a way bigger pool here, but my

41:04

overalls four point eight nine But

41:08

I have so I have like five stars

41:11

four hundred and seventeen rides I have ten

41:13

four stars six three

41:15

stars Three two stars and

41:17

four one stars and I mean you got

41:19

only four one stars with that big of a

41:21

pool Yeah, but I'm still like in

41:24

I have this story from back like when

41:27

uber barely started and I had an uber

41:29

driver ask me Why is your

41:31

uber rating so low and I was

41:33

like, what do you mean? Sir,

41:35

I was like I am delightful Yeah,

41:39

and no he was just like yeah, you have like

41:41

a three point something So I have definitely brought this

41:43

up but I want I was like trying to lie

41:45

and ask you're like hawking Good

41:47

reviews you're like and give me five stars

41:49

when you're getting out of the car You

41:51

were trying to like boost your score. No, I

41:53

was just like when that happened. I was like, what

41:55

do you mean? He's like, yeah, you seem cool to

41:58

me and I was like, I feel like that But

42:00

it's accurate. So what did

42:02

you change? Because you're like, you're

42:04

getting out of the car and you're like, let's

42:06

just recap the fun we had together. I feel

42:08

like we had some five star fun. It

42:11

might be the questionnaire that I have printed out

42:13

in my purse, but... Right, that'll do

42:15

it every time. You give them a

42:17

little candy. I agree though on the, I'm here,

42:19

I'm like why did I only get the three stars

42:21

of the ones? Why am I just

42:23

at a mid? What did I do to be mid? Not

42:25

even the four, the three stars are the ones that

42:27

I'm like, I don't understand. I mean, being quiet is

42:30

not something to get dinged

42:32

for. Yeah, I'm

42:34

trying to think of the things that I've done. I mean, I've got

42:36

a little curse score here. Like I

42:38

gotta make a change. Being terse could

42:42

be, could like, if you're not friendly in

42:44

your conversation, I guess a driver could ding

42:48

you for that. I'm just trying to

42:50

think, like maybe you smell, not

42:53

you, I mean us collectively. I

42:55

smell sometimes. One could smell, you know? You

42:58

could not when I'm out. Or

43:00

if you're like, if you're talking

43:03

on your phone really loudly, like

43:05

I don't do that. But I think that's

43:07

worthy of a, that's just

43:10

interesting. I definitely do not endear myself

43:12

to the driver. No, I don't

43:14

do that. If my wife is present, she will,

43:16

it will know the life story of whoever

43:19

is driving. And maybe they would get a low

43:21

score for that. She would get a low score,

43:23

they didn't want to talk. Usually not, I don't

43:25

think so. And they seem to be participating pretty

43:27

strongly. I think if you just give them

43:29

a little friendly hello and a friendly goodbye

43:32

and a thank you and

43:34

nothing in between, I think that's a good bookend. I

43:36

think that's a good practice. Now

43:38

if the Uber starts asking me stuff, like

43:41

I don't say, sometimes I'll put no conversation because

43:43

they, when you call the Uber, they ask for

43:45

your preferences. I love that. Yeah,

43:47

I never give the preference. I put, I'm

43:49

gonna start putting the no, I'm gonna put the

43:52

no conversation because that way it's like, hey,

43:54

this is just, this is just how we're

43:56

riding today. Maybe that will increase your rating on

43:58

average because there's no expectation set. And in

44:00

the absence of doing that, I have been sparked

44:03

up with an Uber. And

44:06

what I meant by that is sparking conversation.

44:09

I realize it's kind of like I was smoking the cigarette.

44:11

I sparked up with some of them. Sparking

44:14

conversation. Like, they would try to get me talking

44:16

and be like, what do you

44:18

do for a living? You know, that's the time I

44:20

boldfaced a lie to my Uber. You said corporate video.

44:22

I said, yeah, it's not a lie. It's true. I

44:25

work in corporate video. You do? Google

44:27

is a corporation. Well, so is mythical. That's

44:30

true. Okay, well, I feel

44:32

a little bit bad here. We're doing

44:35

good, guys. I don't know. I mean,

44:37

those sound...the 4.8, 4.9,

44:39

that's...if I see a driver

44:42

that has my rating, like a 4.7,

44:44

3, I'm like, this guy's made some

44:46

mistakes. Honestly, that's what I think. You

44:48

rarely see a driver less than 4.6.

44:52

So now I've got to feel like I'm at the bottom

44:54

of the barrel at this point. What

44:57

do you do when you see that? You don't

44:59

cancel because you're not... I'm just gonna give you

45:01

a one-star. It just raises...here, on my back a little

45:03

bit. Yeah. You know,

45:05

I'm like, okay, I gotta be real clear here.

45:07

I'm gonna blame this on my neighborhood. That's what

45:09

I'm blaming it on. They get lost coming up

45:11

to my house. The loose service.

45:14

I have to give them directions to get

45:16

back to the highway. Yep.

45:18

They're not their fault. There's things like that

45:20

that happen. But when you're thinking, they're taking

45:22

it out on me. When you're calling an

45:24

Uber...I mean,

45:28

can you choose... Choose between different people.

45:31

I'm seeing if you can see their rating on the

45:33

app before you choose which one you want. I don't

45:35

think you can. I don't think you can. I mean,

45:37

that just wouldn't be... I think the rating is mostly

45:42

for the Uber people. I'm clicking on a

45:44

car. To be like, when your rating gets

45:46

to a certain amount, you can't drive anymore.

45:50

You're going to probation or something. Okay,

45:52

so yeah, it's a little disconnected, the

45:54

rating. So I've

45:56

got a little something to work on. We'll

45:59

check again next. like our credit scores. Okay.

46:06

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46:36

My ways working and taking care of my

46:38

little ones can be a lot. I

46:40

checked out care.com and it

46:42

was so easy for me to

46:45

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46:47

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need. care.com should be every person's

47:05

go-to. I

47:09

like how you make the Uber

47:11

and the Lyft race to your house. I do that

47:13

with napping. I've started doing this

47:15

new type of napping where like, I'll drink a

47:18

coffee and then I'll be laying there

47:21

and I'll see if I can beat

47:23

the coffee to nap time because if the

47:26

coffee kicks in, I'll wake up. So

47:28

I've got to fall asleep before the coffee makes me wake

47:30

up. And it's kind of like a, I've

47:33

pictured it as like a race in my

47:35

head. It's like my napping metabolism being attacked

47:37

by the coffee I just drank. It sounds

47:39

like a counteracting nap. Such

47:42

a relaxing thought exercise to make one fall asleep. I

47:44

mean, there's a race going on in my head. I'm

47:46

about to dream. I've got to hurry up and nap

47:48

before I wake up. I think

47:50

you do have like 30 minutes

47:52

or so. And then when

47:55

you do wake up, it helps you wake up

47:57

from the nap. Like.

48:00

More invigorated if you take a

48:02

caffeine nap. Caffeine. Powder. but

48:04

I like the race of it off. Is

48:07

this the thrill for me? I

48:09

think I gotta start the racing technique though I wanna

48:11

be clearly done in a few times and my understanding

48:14

is that the driver still get paid a certain amount.

48:16

They don't get paid for the dry, but they get

48:18

paid for the cancellation. they did any drive if you

48:20

care about your ratings and you get to work on

48:22

it, but you got some leeway. I.

48:25

Want to share with you something other than the

48:27

finally get us here. I think we should save

48:29

it. I really want younger by I want to

48:31

see our vision born of. We're going to see

48:34

both and is don't think we're I'm not pushing

48:36

this for time. I have no right way. I

48:38

thing as division board come on. So.

48:42

I was watching something with this by we

48:44

shouldn't take a lot of Jesse exactly.

48:46

So I see something with Jesse and. And

48:51

you know a keen on or came upon

48:53

this. We were watching You Tube videos together

48:55

while working out and job. There

48:58

was something where or is it? Does.

49:01

Guy who's like the world record

49:03

holder for speed reading. And

49:06

I don't know if if you have seen these videos

49:08

like there's some videos or are like. I

49:10

was someone speed reading. No, no, there's like there's

49:13

a tic tac video going around us of this

49:15

guy who's like taking a book and like flipping

49:17

through it. In front of these judges

49:19

or something and is obviously fake is not read

49:21

a snow person dagger. Do this or this is

49:23

a guy who. Is. Like

49:25

Definitive, like Guinness World

49:28

Records recognized. And. Like

49:30

they're saying like. Oh what is he doing

49:32

Any which is I wasn't thinking oh I'm gonna watch this

49:34

so I can learn how to speed read I was like

49:36

oh this is interesting some gonna keep watching it and then

49:39

by the end of it the way that the guy explained

49:41

i was like. Okay, Well

49:43

maybe. I'll try this.

49:46

So. Basically what

49:48

he did his he said he was the world's

49:51

best. Do something you're like I can do that.

49:53

Know. Because of the way he talked about it.

49:55

Okay, He he he because I've

49:57

always thought. All. this

50:00

I've always thought, hey, it's bullshit. I was like, these people

50:02

aren't actually reading. That's what I thought. I

50:04

thought they were faking it, right? I

50:06

didn't think they were faking it. But, or

50:08

they're like not really getting the information. Yeah.

50:13

And then what he said was, he

50:16

was like, well, what I'm doing is I figured

50:19

out that typically when you

50:21

read something, if you're normal, like

50:23

me, and I think I'm actually a below

50:25

average speed reader is my theory. You

50:29

kind of read something and it's almost like there's a

50:31

voice in your head that's saying the words out loud,

50:33

more or less. You're like reading it and there's like,

50:35

meh, meh, meh, meh. So

50:38

it's kind of going at the speed of speech.

50:41

And he's like, that slows you down so much. And

50:43

what you'll find is if you just take your

50:45

finger and you just kind of

50:48

run it across the line and you convince

50:51

your brain to stop having to

50:53

insist that you say it inside

50:55

your brain. And you just

50:57

realize that you're just taking in the information. You'll

51:00

get to a place where you

51:02

are taking in the information

51:04

conceptually. And if you stopped

51:06

and thought about it, you would realize that you

51:08

actually did get the information. And

51:12

so I was like, well, let me try that. And so this

51:14

is the thing that happens to me. I

51:18

think I'm such a slow reader because I'm

51:20

a very easily distracted reader. And I read

51:22

a lot, but what happens is, if

51:26

I get down into my bed and I start

51:29

reading, I'll

51:32

like make it literally

51:35

sometimes like a page and a half. And

51:38

then I might fall asleep. That's good,

51:40

right? And so I'm like, I'm

51:42

not getting anything done. And also sometimes I'll

51:44

start reading and I realize that it's

51:46

like when you find yourself driving and

51:48

you're like, I think I've just driven for five minutes and

51:51

don't know, I don't remember any of that. You have to

51:53

go back. You do the same thing with, I do the

51:55

same thing with reading quite a bit. And

51:58

So what I found is I'm... Trying this

52:00

new technique. Not.

52:03

Because I'm trying to get through a bunch of

52:05

things faster but because I'm so slow because I'm

52:07

so distracted that I've found that by doing this

52:09

technique and I'm are actually do a my finger

52:11

every time Noms kind of looking at. It

52:14

makes me focus more on reading and that's

52:16

the reason I ended up getting more. is

52:18

I'm less likely to fall asleep while reading

52:20

because I'm trying to do this technique and

52:22

you're not going to be tested on that

52:24

except for now. Okay, because I didn't. You.

52:27

Know I'm I'm going to get a book. Am

52:29

I Looking around. The. Or

52:32

office for a book. we have been a decorative

52:34

books. As. I am a your nose

52:36

not a realize. Have I got a

52:38

fun but. We.

52:41

Were given Doctor Emily more says

52:43

smart seconds which I. How.

52:46

To boost your sex I q and own

52:48

your pleasure. So from Like Sex Timber last

52:50

year she came on to show the up

52:52

and I'm in the zone as suppose that

52:54

year before last d. I think

52:56

this is out now, but we haven't Uncorrected proof

52:58

so there might you might kill off. Bought all

53:01

of them all the Uncle Sam directions. So

53:04

ah, I just think you need

53:06

to speed read. That

53:08

book guy set the bar for your real quick. I

53:10

don't want to see how well you get it because

53:12

it's not. I'm not gonna be, you're not going to

53:15

him is a book and gimme four seconds angular back

53:17

to you. I have to look at all of the

53:19

word so I'm just not gonna read the words out

53:21

loud in my mind says I'm going to go faster

53:23

than normal than for me for it's just a page

53:25

and a half and it's in a boxer like it's

53:28

actually less. So. I.

53:30

Would lie for you to speed

53:32

read the section on. A

53:35

penis popping. Like

53:38

I. Am

53:41

I gonna look at? Some a

53:43

right side one. It. Like. Do.

53:46

You want to read it normal and have already

53:48

have already. Reddit. Okay, I

53:50

just don't know. I don't think this is going to be impressive.

53:53

Way. But I haven't I am not going to have ass. I'm

53:55

going to or if as as I get paid and a half So

53:57

how much time you need? I don't know what I mean. I mustn't

53:59

gotta go quit. I'm

54:01

probably gonna give you 15 sec. Can you not

54:04

say distracting things while I'm doing it? Yeah, I'm not

54:06

gonna yeah, this is not it. This is not for

54:08

comedy You make a low humming noise just like a

54:10

drone noise just to let people know that they're like

54:13

the podcast is still on Like you want me to make

54:15

a gray noise Yeah, make it

54:17

make make white boy your white boy make white noise But

54:21

don't change tones Could

54:24

it be more of a hiss? A

54:30

little wet I want to make it dryer make a dryer noise and

54:34

here we go All

54:53

right, that's 15 seconds you're done turn I'm

54:55

reading the whole thing When

54:58

you need I

55:01

Could have read the whole thing just normal I think Not

55:05

couldn't have I think that's over twice as fast

55:07

now. You're really hurting me because you're talking Just

55:11

get what you got from the first okay, all right So

55:15

I was doing great until the second half when

55:17

you started interrupting me and talking okay, but I

55:19

want you to understand I just read five paragraphs

55:21

and I don't know how long that was but

55:23

that was way faster than I

55:25

typically would read and I was Just looking

55:27

at the words and then letting them register

55:29

in my brain I can safely say that

55:31

I would have read it at 25% speed

55:34

of what you did. Okay. I

55:36

am a slow reader Except

55:38

when it's horny stuff. I guess I don't know what

55:40

I'd be at So can I give you a summary

55:42

or you gonna ask me questions? Like give

55:44

me give me a summary of penis popping. Okay,

55:47

well basically the

55:50

idea behind this is that Sex

55:52

is messy right? So there are lots of

55:54

things that can happen during sex like Vagina

55:57

Farts is one of the things that

55:59

can happen during sex thanks to there's

56:01

you know the expectation that you're going

56:03

to have every hair in place and

56:05

everything is gonna be perfect when you're

56:07

having sex is an unrealistic expectations and

56:09

in one word the word vagina Farts

56:11

is in here and one of the

56:14

saying not queen and one of the

56:16

things that can happen his penis popping

56:18

which is when the penis slips out

56:20

of the whole that is in the

56:22

vagina. In this case I think in

56:24

this particular example during sex now at

56:26

this point I'm simultaneously relieved and disappointed.

56:28

Because. When I first picked this I was like.

56:31

Oh. My gosh, this is gonna be about morose

56:33

mom where a guy who has like when it

56:35

site. Because there's different

56:38

chambers. In. A Wiener.

56:40

They. Don't want to break your penis and then if one of

56:42

them are done, one of those pops like a balloon. That's.

56:46

Disturbing side on and tell you the rest

56:48

of it but you are correct in saying

56:50

that that is not what penis pop in

56:52

his right off the bat. You.

56:54

Haven't. You. Know you're not making this

56:56

up because what my first test was. Is.

56:59

He just gonna. Make. Up

57:01

what he thinks penis thought when you said seen

57:03

as popping I thought you're talking about when it

57:05

breaks. Yeah. So makes

57:07

apartments you use circumvented

57:09

the misdirect continue. and

57:12

basically. This

57:14

is all a function of the

57:16

the angle of entry. right?

57:18

Is it is something that happens is a

57:20

combination of the angle of injury and something

57:23

else. I can't remember the position I think

57:25

and so you can experiment with. If this

57:27

is something that happens on regular basis, you

57:29

can experiment with. Cowgirl, Or

57:31

reverse cowgirl that contains the the

57:33

positions and as some people actually

57:36

just want to move to something

57:38

similar like missionary. Ah, which

57:40

can be a good So basically you need you

57:42

experiment. You don't need to feel ashamed, these are

57:44

things that happen but you need to find you

57:46

know you need to buy your own mojo each.

57:49

Also some a good reason to what. Call.

57:52

Your mom work. On

57:56

a while. so. I'm

57:58

I'm I'm from a penis supply. I

58:03

don't understand the kind of question. Potential

58:06

penis slippage is also a good reason

58:08

to not call your mom.

58:13

Penis slippage is also a

58:15

good reason to, I don't

58:17

know, I missed that. Slow things

58:19

down. Oh slow things down. Slow things down

58:21

Rhett. Let me go backwards here. That

58:25

was in the second half, that's why you were talking.

58:27

I was listening to you and reading at the same

58:30

time. What type of penises will become

58:32

more comic than tragic if

58:34

you embrace awkward

58:36

moments? Popped

58:38

penises. Disobedient

58:42

penises. Okay.

58:46

And so you're not really getting good with the

58:48

details. Was that in the last paragraph on that

58:50

page? That was in the intro

58:52

paragraph. I mean you end

58:54

up missing some stuff and also I mean I

58:56

just don't remember everything. If

58:58

it happens to you, who cares? That's

59:01

a question. Nobody. Exactly.

59:04

You got that right. Your

59:06

mom. You can make light of it. You

59:08

can laugh together or you

59:10

can do what? Try a new position.

59:13

Or just what? Go

59:16

with the flow. Add some music

59:20

lube. And

59:22

get that penis back in

59:24

there. Yep, that was it. Get

59:26

that penis back in there. You

59:28

got that part. Keep

59:31

in mind that a slow insertion,

59:36

grind, swivel,

59:40

or what motion is likely to

59:42

cause more popping than

59:44

moving up and down? Both

59:49

resting. Back and forth motion.

59:52

I don't even know who's right anymore.

59:54

Okay, you've done it. So let

59:56

me tell you what I did. I Applied

59:59

there's always going to get over the holidays. I was

1:00:01

reading a book. Is called

1:00:04

like. The. Tiger something and it's

1:00:06

Am. Are No!

1:00:08

I was told by somebody on Tic Toc

1:00:10

I am on like book talk You know

1:00:12

when like listening to people talk about things

1:00:15

and somebody was talking about this being like

1:00:17

a page turner and other okay and I

1:00:19

got into it. In it was. A

1:00:22

book about. These

1:00:25

dudes in. The.

1:00:28

Like. Eastern most part of

1:00:30

Russia. Would. You like a really. Desolate,

1:00:33

Jungle region where there's like the Siberian

1:00:36

Tiger the easier Asiatic tiger. Okay and

1:00:38

they're like basically tracking a tiger that

1:00:40

killed two people in is based on

1:00:42

a true story and but it's a

1:00:44

historical. It's. A retelling of

1:00:46

the story. With. Some imagined

1:00:49

and I know what you call that genre.

1:00:51

you're telling a story that actually happened but

1:00:53

exult little think size as I historical facing

1:00:55

because it's more it's a documentary of it

1:00:57

but. Embellish tale

1:00:59

of yeah dude would go into

1:01:01

deep. Deep. Like

1:01:05

history and information about the region and about all

1:01:07

this stuff and I was gonna like this is

1:01:10

hard man it is hard to get through but

1:01:12

I just feel like I'm so bad and are

1:01:14

in it. I was started the book and in

1:01:16

a twenty twenty three in is that culminated twenty

1:01:19

twenty four hours that I won't finish this damn

1:01:21

book. I want to just stop another book. Yeah,

1:01:24

and this technique came along our penis Poppins.

1:01:26

And yeah, penis parts My way right to

1:01:28

that book and and call my mom and

1:01:30

Aura. Done it. But. No

1:01:32

actually as a sped read. Again

1:01:34

is not crazy. I don't know somebody would be like

1:01:36

that does ruin the hell out of that book. I

1:01:38

think they would be like that does reading normally whereas

1:01:40

before be like that is reading a pager haven't falling

1:01:43

asleep. And. Either you're

1:01:45

like skipping areas where you don't feel like any

1:01:47

other details. I did I know I did not

1:01:49

do that. We years your speed skipping your skimming

1:01:51

but as I i you like it makes you

1:01:54

like engage with it and then you might have

1:01:56

to and then sometimes you hit to up you

1:01:58

hit a place in your life. This is

1:02:00

something that I have to slow down and

1:02:02

take in every single word and say it

1:02:05

out loud and my head and maybe go

1:02:07

back. But them the slow grind across truth

1:02:09

and it's and I got to the book

1:02:11

like our air taking me three weeks. On.

1:02:14

And off. To. Get like

1:02:16

forty percent of the way to the book.

1:02:20

And then it took me a week

1:02:23

since. And. I was

1:02:25

like this could be in this could

1:02:27

be revel in you enjoyed the book

1:02:29

more Yeah our and I like remember

1:02:31

a lot about the way that the

1:02:33

book that that let second sixty percent

1:02:36

this is are you didn't do any

1:02:38

more research besides that you want video

1:02:40

sauce do shit it was just I

1:02:42

instead of reading it out loud to

1:02:44

myself in my mind. I. Just

1:02:46

was like I'm gonna make my eyes move

1:02:48

across the words faster than I think my

1:02:50

brain can keep up with. And then. You.

1:02:53

Start thinking oh I actually just got all

1:02:55

that is in their. Yeah.

1:03:00

And. I just speed read. The doggy style

1:03:03

is the position that is most likely

1:03:05

to cause of penile fracture. Which.

1:03:07

Is what you thought? Peanut Populists? Yeah that's

1:03:09

the does the next Page or Emmy are

1:03:11

I recommend. It means you don't just go

1:03:13

my word, watch a video about about your

1:03:15

recommendations, not yell this. Make him a recommendation

1:03:17

gives us a my the recommendation for next

1:03:19

time but. Cup or time.

1:03:21

It's not bullshit. It's it's not bullshit

1:03:24

like actually does work and never thought I

1:03:26

was was saw. the videos are bullshit. Somebody

1:03:28

taken of a booking on and is being

1:03:30

done with it now. Yes it man. And

1:03:33

if you buddha that. Okay, We.

1:03:36

Have as much time. As. We need.

1:03:40

To. From meter experience my

1:03:42

vision board that Gemma has

1:03:44

worked. On. I

1:03:47

don't know how hard she worked on. Maybe I'll be motel

1:03:49

and I'll look at it. May be

1:03:51

going to give a scale of on

1:03:53

the size Sars. and

1:03:58

we go again at first Oh wow.

1:04:00

Holy moly. Look at this. Has it

1:04:02

got pills on it? Oh, yeah, it

1:04:04

does have pills. Oh. Oh

1:04:07

my gosh, Jenna. I didn't

1:04:09

see the letters. I thought you gave them some

1:04:11

pills. Look

1:04:14

at this. Here's your vision for 2024. Take

1:04:16

these pills. Jenna,

1:04:19

I'm gonna take this to therapy and take full

1:04:21

credit for it. Okay. Hey

1:04:25

therapist, I've been doing some work on my own.

1:04:27

I just wanted to share it with

1:04:29

you. This might be frameable.

1:04:32

Look at this. It's

1:04:34

got a three-dimensional vibe to it. There's

1:04:37

leaves. So what does this

1:04:39

say? Ground. Ground. Ground. Ground.

1:04:42

Yeah, and here's a snowboarder. Uh-huh. And

1:04:45

here's the moon, sun. Uh-huh.

1:04:47

Here's a map with some islands,

1:04:51

some angular shapes. Avangard bicycles.

1:04:54

Yes, yes, yes. Oh, is this a bicycle?

1:04:56

Mm-hmm. Well, look at that. Mountain

1:04:59

biking, snowboarding. What does

1:05:02

ground mean, like staying grounded? Staying grounded.

1:05:04

Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. There's

1:05:08

a heart here, replenish. Stay

1:05:11

hydrated, maybe. Yep. Napping

1:05:13

with dogs. Yeah. There's

1:05:15

literally a man. Napping

1:05:17

with dogs. Or maybe he could

1:05:21

be dead. No, he's napping with dogs.

1:05:24

There's multiple dogs. Yeah. The dogs will stick around

1:05:26

after you die, though. Oh my

1:05:28

gosh, you have a man mapping

1:05:31

with a dog. And then you

1:05:33

have a scuba diver. You have some

1:05:35

adventure here. You got an underwater

1:05:37

thing. Connect, connecting

1:05:39

with nature, connecting with my son,

1:05:42

perhaps. Yeah. When I go

1:05:44

scuba diving. I like connection. It's

1:05:46

like a filter. I like a

1:05:48

planet thing. Is this enhancing my connection

1:05:50

with my fellow man? Here

1:05:53

is an actual. Is

1:05:55

that poison ivy? No. Mail

1:06:00

sorted okay, active manner. One thing

1:06:02

was our sexual activity near near.

1:06:04

What else am I missing? here?

1:06:06

I'm at it. I put a

1:06:08

hummingbird in there with our up

1:06:10

and another leaves his dad's Christie

1:06:12

movies in a foursome cooking houseplants.

1:06:16

It's like a low fortune cookie down there.

1:06:18

Yeah, he never talked about music, so

1:06:20

I added a little thing about music. You're

1:06:22

right, Yeah. You know what, Christie

1:06:25

went out and I went on

1:06:27

a date after that conversation about.

1:06:30

Might. Ranking our favor Stuff from last

1:06:32

episode. And. We had a great conversation

1:06:34

about their day conversation and then I realize

1:06:36

I thought you know I didn't put easing

1:06:38

about music on their as okay I thought

1:06:41

of that doesn't like listening to music and

1:06:43

playing music. Two different things both on my

1:06:45

list. Without. Music and

1:06:47

love life is a journey

1:06:49

through deserts. Who. Are.

1:06:53

The I have the I didn't take as long

1:06:55

as it looks like it's a plan. Our leverage

1:06:57

is it. It.

1:07:00

Looks like a two hour affair here. To

1:07:04

story. But by do have fun

1:07:06

doing and. Fun is a fine like

1:07:08

Sunday is the only thing I did on

1:07:10

company time with he's a printer and I

1:07:13

don't have a printer. This is our

1:07:15

this is. This is this

1:07:17

is me. This is this. This is

1:07:19

the this is the experience of pleasure

1:07:21

Me If I am as a beautiful

1:07:24

I'm not going to ask you to

1:07:26

make me was. Thinking

1:07:28

of our common as you not to make

1:07:30

him not guys, I've got the big are

1:07:33

we not to be different. I got the

1:07:35

pinning things. You know if it's the justices

1:07:37

run I've gotta I don't you know, annoying.

1:07:39

Only does that anymore Come a time of

1:07:41

physics and Univision border me and I'm not

1:07:44

going to burn. This is that unless my

1:07:46

therapist says me that I should be wrong

1:07:48

hundred out about it before maybe the in

1:07:50

A are you burn it is a picture

1:07:52

the first. Yeah. It's the end of the

1:07:54

air you've you've completed your vision, and then you

1:07:57

can really sit. In season. Well

1:08:00

I will You Phoenix camera bad for mass is

1:08:02

adamant I'll be in a mover I when to

1:08:04

burn it. Doesn't matter

1:08:06

how window held everything he says

1:08:09

is. My style as a sorry. This

1:08:11

has this isn't too good.

1:08:13

I appreciated am on that

1:08:15

and it's I'm gonna stare

1:08:17

at it. When a runny,

1:08:19

the perspective of pleasure for the. Mountains,

1:08:27

cracks, And

1:08:30

it's on fire said I know all the

1:08:32

pill so although is that is this is

1:08:34

is as easy as it surveyed. Very

1:08:37

few words easy to speed read: I

1:08:40

we've been through a lot today where

1:08:42

that much closer to each other illicit

1:08:44

a little sore muscles voice know that

1:08:46

we as. Parents to

1:08:48

respond with with your listeners and want

1:08:50

to hear from One Eight Eight Eight

1:08:53

here Pod Wine and of course has

1:08:55

Sagheer Biscuits family with a review. Or

1:08:58

regime ah if you haven't

1:09:00

the is helpful, especially if

1:09:02

it's to hell. Did like

1:09:04

are over scored like source

1:09:06

I read. Minds as just finish listening

1:09:08

to the episode where linked us to that

1:09:11

is New Zealand trip and I just wanted

1:09:13

to say as Nails Harrier I can verify

1:09:15

that it is weird to be driving on

1:09:17

the other side of the cars but you'll

1:09:19

get used to it if you keep doing

1:09:21

it of he died.