The media loves sensationalized romance scams, but we need to understand that anyone can be emotionally seduced and it's not just the lonely. No one is off limits to being targeted, no matter the age, status, or career. And the impact is far greater than just financial.

Today’s guest is Becky Holmes. Becky is the creator and voice behind the popular Twitter account Death to Spinach. Becky’s book Keanu Reeves is Not in Love With You looks at all aspects of romance fraud, from the heartbreaking to the hilarious, the academic to the anecdotal, and discusses where we’ve gone wrong in dealing with those affected.

Show Notes:

• [1:08] - Becky runs a Twitter account where she spends a lot of time wasting the time of romance fraudsters.

• [2:38] - An unintended consequence of messing with fraudsters, Becky became a sounding board to victims of romance fraud.

• [4:56] - Once you engage with a fraudster, your name is put on a “sucker list.”

• [6:13] - Becky explains what romance fraud is.

• [7:22] - Victims of romance fraud are generally assumed to be lonely, middle-aged women, which is a stereotype.

• [8:27] - The media sensationalizes victim stories, but this could happen to anyone.

• [9:53] - There’s not a lot of services and support for victims of romance fraud.

• [11:40] - The damage extends farther than the financial loss.

• [13:43] - When it comes to scams, we focus so much on a victim “falling for it” which implies that they are somehow complicit.

• [16:31] - Becky describes an experience she had as a victim of fraud.

• [18:19] - Coercive control is at the center of all types of romance fraud.

• [19:56] - Becky explains confirmation bias and its prevalence in all types of scams.

• [21:25] - Romance fraud is really hard to deal with because it involves the heart.

• [22:43] - Becky shares how scammers usually start conversation and how they navigate getting you on a different app.

• [26:44] - In addition to social media and dating apps, fraudsters also send messages on online games.

• [28:07] - Another common technique is for scammers to pretend to be a celebrity.

• [31:24] - A very successful tactic is when fraudsters pretend to be a part of a charity.

• [34:18] - Becky explains the inspiration behind the title of her recent book.

• [35:56] - We should be looking out for our friends and family.

• [37:21] - If we see something happen, how can we help someone?
  

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