0:02

This is a Global Player

0:04

original podcast. Ed

0:06

Gamble and Matthew Crosby. Radio

0:09

X. Hello and welcome to the Ed

0:11

Gamble and Matthew Crosby podcast of the Radio Show

0:13

we do on Radio X. Hello

0:16

Matthew. Hello Ed, how are you doing man? Thanks

0:18

man, I'm good. Funny old show today. It

0:20

wasn't funny on a show, wasn't it? It was

0:23

good. I really enjoyed it. I mean, you know

0:25

what, I enjoy myself every week on this show.

0:27

But when you give it over

0:29

to the listeners as we did,

0:31

it's, you know, well, no spoilers,

0:34

but it certainly caught you. Yeah,

0:36

yeah. Got on my nerves today. The

0:39

listeners got on my nerves. Well

0:42

one listener who hasn't got on my nerves

0:44

is Mcll Daniel Callahan. Oh,

0:47

yes please to that name. Mcll

0:49

Daniel Callahan. Yes. Mcll

0:52

Daniel Callahan. Mcll Daniel Callahan has

0:55

got in contact with some Debinums. Great.

0:57

Some Debinums goss. Now we're talking. A Debonamic

0:59

boat. We do a few of these on the show

1:01

as well, but this one was too long for the show, but I've

1:04

just read through it. Yeah. And it

1:06

is worth how long it is. It's fantastic. Great. And

1:09

in my case, this is too long, didn't read. So this is going to be fresh to

1:11

me as well. Okay. Towards the

1:13

afternoon before Christmas in Wiggins only department store,

1:15

Debonums. And this Nepo baby, dad worked there

1:17

for 30 years. He

1:20

forgot I had a shift and went to the pub for lunch

1:22

with my mates. As the third pint

1:24

touched my lips, my manager rang me asking where the

1:26

hell I was. So I reluctantly hauled my ass in

1:28

there. The last minute Christmas rush

1:31

was such that we had to keep emptying

1:33

the tills regularly to stop them overflowing like

1:35

Santa's sack. I went round

1:37

with a security guard who shared the same

1:40

level of enthusiasm as me, none, for the

1:42

nation's favourite department store, RIP. We

1:44

got back to the cash office and started

1:47

counting thousands and thousands of pounds whilst chatting

1:49

about Christmas plans. In my three-point

1:51

festive haze, I decided to express myself by chucking

1:53

money into the air and letting it rain down

1:55

onto me. Things escalated

1:57

and we ended up doing snow angels in the cash.

2:01

And I even chucked him in the bin for a laugh.

2:06

We eventually finished counting up and started

2:08

inputting the numbers on the system. The

2:15

numbers were completely all over the place with £24,000 on the

2:17

counted spot. Check

2:20

the bins. So I did what any 19 year old

2:22

on minimum wage on Christmas Eve would do. I thought

2:24

never mind and went back to the pub to rejoin

2:26

my mates. After a guilt free

2:28

Christmas, I returned on the 27th to a massive

2:31

**** off my boss and the head of security

2:33

who were both called in on Boxing Day to

2:35

locate the missing money. Head office were, of course,

2:37

going bananas. They managed to rectify the ridiculous discrepancy

2:40

in cash except for £1,000 which was still missing.

2:44

Obviously they checked the cameras to see if I

2:46

had pocketed myself a cool Christmas bonus but instead

2:48

found footage of us rolling around at £20 and

2:52

throwing money in a literal bin. I

2:55

was the reason two men with families who were

2:58

given one precious day off over Christmas had to

3:00

cancel their plans and watch two idiot lads on

3:02

CCTV make an absolute mockery of Britain's favourite department.

3:04

Oh no. Of course I was made

3:06

to watch the footage and it sent shivers down my spine. Although

3:09

it was never the most comfortable dynamic, I did

3:11

somehow stay in that job another three years. A

3:13

true Christmas miracle. No idea how the place ended

3:15

up bankrupt. Also, one time I

3:17

rang in sick whilst walking there because I

3:19

soiled myself. Which

3:22

I would say is actually fair enough. Yeah, that's fair

3:24

enough. If you poop yourself on the way to

3:26

a retail job you can call in sick. I think

3:28

so. Or at least late. And

3:31

what was the name of that fellow again?

3:33

Mcll Daniel Callahan. Mcll Daniel Callahan. Well

3:36

thank you so much. I think throwing money in the

3:38

bin for a laugh. And they didn't sack him.

3:40

They didn't sack him. They lost the grand because

3:42

he threw it in the bin. I

3:46

mean... It's perfect three

3:48

point humour I think. I've

3:50

never done that before. I've never thrown money in the bin for

3:52

a laugh. No, I've never thrown money in the bin for a

3:55

laugh. It might even be illegal. I got into all the school

3:57

for throwing two pee in the bin. I

4:00

think of like defacing the monarchy or whatever, isn't it?

4:02

Is it? Is it an act of treason? I don't

4:04

think it's defacing. You're not allowed to burn

4:06

money, you're not allowed to tear it. Yeah, but it's different.

4:08

Putting it in a bin is different, isn't it? I suppose

4:11

it depends if you're putting it in there for a laugh.

4:13

It's safe keeping or for a laugh. Yeah,

4:15

I think that's it. Not to dispose

4:17

of it. Yeah, I think, you know, the

4:20

Queen, as we found out when she passed

4:22

on, was a big laugh. Everybody

4:24

had a story about what a phenomenal

4:26

laugh he was, all the great stories.

4:28

Theresa May had that great one, you

4:30

know, about her... Running through a field

4:33

of wind. Cheese or something like that, yeah. But anyway,

4:35

it was very, very funny. She loved that kind of

4:37

thing. She loved that kind of crazy. Bro, money

4:39

in the bin for a laugh. Money

4:41

angels for sure, she loved it. Money angels would be

4:43

beautiful. I mean...

4:46

They should put that in the crown, they should do

4:48

like a reissue of it. Yeah. I

4:50

mean, it's hard to do in... In

4:54

America, it's easier because they have the one dollar bill. Yeah.

4:56

You can get a lot more of it, right? But

4:58

if your lowest denominator is a fiver...

5:01

Do a coppers? Coppers, no,

5:03

it should be great. You'd stink of blood afterwards,

5:05

but... Because it was... Yeah,

5:08

I do like that though. A

5:11

big... That feels like... It feels like something

5:13

they would do in the... In

5:16

the Tate. Yeah. Doesn't it? It's

5:18

like an I-way way. You sound like an I-way

5:20

way, exactly. Do an I-way way, loads of coppers,

5:23

and you could make angels in it. Yeah.

5:26

I love it. Good idea. Give

5:29

us the turbine, all you cowards. Anyway,

5:33

a cracking show. Enjoy it. Ed

5:36

Gamble and Matthew Crosby. Good

5:42

morning. This is the 8am Radio X

5:44

Express service taking you right the way

5:46

through to Danny Wallace, arriving at 11am.

5:50

Your conductors today are Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby.

5:52

It's their job to make sure you feel comfortable

5:54

during your journey, and you can find them at

5:56

the end of a carriage, staring out of the

5:58

window, or vaping in the... toilet. We'll

6:01

be calling out great music

6:03

central, pointless chat bridge, unpopular

6:06

text topic international, deliberate sabotage

6:08

by their producer Underlime, being

6:11

tied for the first hour hill, hitting their

6:13

stride in the second hour parkway, before completely

6:16

coming off the rails in the final hour

6:18

of the journey and ploughing through an abandoned

6:20

farm building. We would like

6:22

to remind all passengers that there is

6:24

no first class in today's service and

6:26

tickets that are specifically purchased for a

6:29

professional radio experience are not

6:31

valid. The buffet car is located

6:33

towards the end of the train and will be serving

6:35

a selection of cold takes and hot doo doo. As

6:38

usual the reservation system is broken so if

6:41

someone is sat in your assigned seat please

6:43

just politely and slowly sit in their lap.

6:46

The toilet doors operate on an ironic locking

6:48

system. When they say locked that means they're

6:50

locked for you on the inside but open

6:52

on the outside. So please go in, unlock

6:54

the door and go to town. Please be

6:56

aware that some of the toilets will open

6:59

fully for a laugh. Which ones?

7:01

You'll just have to figure it out. Radio

7:05

X. Radio

7:09

X. Ed Gamble

7:11

and Matthew Crosby. Welcome

7:13

now I'm not going to lie to you folks, it's

7:15

a zero guest bonanza today. There's no guests,

7:17

there is absolutely no guest whatsoever on the

7:19

show. But I like to call that pure

7:22

radio Matthew. It is, it's a great chance

7:24

for the three of us, myself, Vin, Ed

7:26

to get to know each other a little

7:28

better. And it's a great chance for you

7:30

the listeners to get to know us better.

7:32

And also crucially for you listeners, for us

7:34

to get to know you the listeners better

7:36

as well. Good, I think we should book

7:38

a guest. Yeah we really should actually do

7:40

need this. We have had a

7:42

message straight away, we were talking about this occasionally

7:44

when the show begins. Yes. The

7:46

second it starts, someone will fire in a message.

7:49

801, Rob was ready to go. As if he's

7:51

been waiting all week to get this off his

7:53

chest. Shall we have a little listen to what

7:55

Rob's been waiting all week to get off his

7:57

chest at 801am. Here we go Rob. Morning,

8:00

I mean we've started calling you

8:02

Croppy. I don't think we've started calling me. I

8:05

think he means crunch doesn't he? I don't even want

8:07

to say he's missed the hour out of crunch and

8:09

I don't want to say it. Yeah, I think that's

8:12

fair Yeah, I'll say crunch. Yeah, because he just trying

8:14

to say that. I think my brain would

8:16

finish Still very

8:18

very close to 8 a.m. Yeah morning

8:20

crunch Croppy and vindicate the doors are

8:22

secure. Oh In

8:24

yes, okay. Is that an Arctic monkeys thing is

8:27

yeah, thank you I have a

8:29

what do you not know what it is now if you're a new listener to

8:31

the show Thanks for listening.

8:33

We'll see you next week That's

8:36

something that we do It's a little feature that we do

8:38

while people get in contact and they let us know Something

8:41

that I see every day and when

8:43

you really think about it, you don't know

8:45

what it is Yeah, well, Rob says tongues.

8:47

Well taste actually. How does it work? Why

8:49

do things taste different? What's going on in

8:51

my mouth to tell me what stuff tastes

8:53

like blows my mind Cheers Rob, you know

8:55

This is a very good one from Rob.

8:57

It is it was well worth waking up,

8:59

you know, presumably he's been there all night

9:02

My feet absolutely just tweaking. Yeah, you

9:04

know what? it's very interesting because do

9:06

you remember it you ever

9:08

do this in science class where they would show you a picture

9:10

of a tongue disgusting and They

9:13

would divide it up into sections. This is

9:15

the bit which tastes sweet things. Yeah, but

9:17

it's Absolute nonsense. Well, yeah, and

9:19

then you do a little experiment in school wouldn't you

9:21

where you'd put like a bit of sugar on the

9:23

Bit where you'd have a drop there you drop some

9:25

sugar onto it Yeah, but obviously it tastes

9:27

sweet But I think if I took that dropper

9:29

and dropped it onto the bit that you're saying and

9:32

salty it would still taste sweet Yeah, because if

9:34

if for example, you've got like a doughnut with

9:36

loads of sugar all over it Yeah, you're not licking

9:38

it with a specific part of your tongue to it.

9:40

Don't look the sugar off. Are you? You're licking it

9:42

with the with the tip of my tongue to quote

9:45

the red or chili pepper Quite

9:48

early on in the morning the idea of you

9:50

licking a doughnut with a tip of your tongue

9:52

is really upsetting Horrible little snake my

9:54

daughter and my daughter gave me a little bit of

9:56

her of her cinnamon bun Yes, they were in the cap.

9:58

It was very very nice And then I saw the way

10:00

she'd been eating the cinnamon bun which was to lick all the sugar

10:02

and cinnamon off I'd already eaten the bit but I thought maybe it

10:05

was like this doesn't taste too much but yeah because you've Look

10:08

it all over you. Yeah. Anyway, but yeah,

10:10

but kids are foul They're absolutely

10:12

disgusting, but they're so lovable. No, they are they

10:14

really it's a bit like it It's

10:17

it's you know, it's a bit like your pets pets

10:19

are disgusting, but they're lovable as well, right? Yeah Say

10:22

with kids. It's a very similar thing. Yeah, more

10:24

lovable. Yeah equally

10:27

disgusting So

10:29

that's that's better. It's a Robbie J

10:31

and the machine radio X Someone's

10:34

just sexy saying what do I not know

10:36

what it is bra sizes? I think this

10:38

sort of sums up our listenership Obviously,

10:41

they're completely Doncaster

10:43

a baffle Smithy and Doncaster. I'd imagine we've

10:45

got a lot of baffled Smithies out there

10:48

And let me tell you we won't be going

10:50

into detail. No, no, no, you have to have

10:52

some sort of system You've got a system. He

10:54

says who came up with this alpha numeric nonsense.

10:56

It's not nonsense I think it's

10:58

very handy. It's a system that everybody

11:01

uses. Yeah, it's fine. Well, I

11:03

hope you don't use it I certainly do what I'm

11:05

touching a bra for my wife Yes,

11:09

that's right, yes guess what guys I'm a new

11:11

man Yeah, I

11:13

also occasionally change your nappy as well. Your wife

11:15

won't use a bio bra. She said she says

11:18

to me Yeah, pick up that bra, please Well,

11:20

that's a separate issue. But yeah, she said

11:22

oh, I saw a nice bra the other

11:24

day Mathews one of these

11:27

man who sparks who considers it a skill to look

11:29

at a woman. He doesn't know Exciting

11:40

week for me this week always an exciting week for

11:42

you Matthew. I love my life some of your tails

11:47

Well, you'd be the judge as to whether or not this

11:49

is exciting but it was the my

11:51

daughter little Jerry cinnamon has He's

11:55

out, he's out Go

11:58

on play that in my feed Yeah,

12:00

my daughter, little Jerry, said it was her

12:02

first drop-off party. Now, up to this point...

12:04

It's a drugs thing. It's a drugs thing,

12:06

yeah. She's becoming a junkie of all things.

12:10

Ha ha ha! And I thought

12:12

these kids these days were going to a clean living

12:14

and going to the gym. Not her, she loves the heroin.

12:17

No, of course she doesn't. She's four and a half.

12:20

Really fun to watch you panic yourself there.

12:22

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, as you remember, people listen

12:24

to this. People listen to it, crucially. It

12:26

might even be on in the kitchen where

12:28

my daughter is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And sort

12:30

of parents who also have kids at the

12:32

nursery. Oh, absolutely. Who would have been at

12:35

the drop-off party at a present? Yeah, I

12:37

hadn't thought of that before, telling the story.

12:39

But anyway, I'm going to tell it anyway.

12:41

Drop-off, drop-out. So, the drop-off party is basically

12:43

a party where you can leave your daughter

12:45

there and off you go and then come back and pick

12:47

them up later. And you pick up a

12:49

new one and you sort of swap kids for the day. You

12:52

know what? They're very well behaved. No, thank you. No, no,

12:54

thank you. I'm very happy

12:56

with the one. I'm going to stick. Yeah,

12:59

so you drop off. Weirdly,

13:02

most of the parents decided not to drop off but to

13:04

stay there. But I dropped off,

13:06

I went to the pub for a couple of drinks and then

13:08

came and picked it. So, was this a drop-off party or...? It

13:10

definitely was. 100% was. I checked. All

13:13

the other parents were standing around going, very

13:15

responsible that Matthew's gone to the pub. Very

13:17

judgy. Very judgy. No, no, they weren't at

13:19

all. They told me for the

13:21

legend I clearly am. So, anyway,

13:24

I went off and I came back to the party

13:26

to catch the last 15, 20 minutes, which

13:30

was great because there was a parents and

13:32

kids dance. So, I was there for that.

13:34

So, I have no scarring memories for my

13:36

daughter. But when I got back, they were

13:38

playing a game

13:41

of musical statues. Boys

13:43

Team versus Girls Team. Don't love that particularly.

13:45

I don't love that sort of gender stuff.

13:47

But the song they were doing it to

13:49

was It's Raining Men. Now,

13:51

I didn't know this was a kid's banger. I

13:53

didn't realise that the weather girls... But

13:55

the kids were going berserk for it. It was

13:57

absolute catnip. Lyrics.

14:00

Yeah, you know I don't want to be

14:02

approved right, but you know what I'm

14:04

gonna go out I'm gonna let myself get absolutely

14:06

soaking wet. Yeah, come on guys, but I

14:08

guess from a kid's perspective You're

14:11

not reading into subtext. No what

14:13

they're imagining is men falling from

14:16

the sky almost more horrifying Splat

14:20

yeah, that's what you're gonna get you're gonna be

14:22

you'll be covered in viscera. Yeah, absolutely soaking wet

14:24

anyway So that I didn't I didn't realize that

14:26

that's that's what the kids are getting down to

14:28

these days That's what the kids are frogging to

14:31

these days. Well, that's what the kids

14:33

are dancing to these days That's not what he said.

14:35

That's not what he said. He said frogging. You know frogging. Yeah, do

14:37

you not frog? Surely no word

14:39

that sounds like that. Yeah, yeah You're

14:43

telling me there's no frogging going on a metal gig What's

14:45

frogging Matthew eight three nine two six on the

14:47

text that radio X for the Twitter? What's frogging?

14:50

What don't please don't text in your guesses as

14:52

to what frogging is. No, I don't actually know

14:54

We've already had unacceptable text this morning. Yeah. Yeah

14:56

fair enough. But anyway, there we go That was

14:58

my week. That was the anything happened to me

15:00

this week. Well, I've been out for three lunches

15:02

this week Talk us through them. I feel like

15:04

I've got gout Is

15:09

radio X now frogging is a

15:12

term that Matthew just used

15:14

yeah, I've just found out as well I think

15:16

I'm mispronouncing it. Okay. Well, let me let me

15:18

take it through For

15:20

the listeners you said all the

15:22

kids were frogging a kids party along to it's

15:24

raining. Yeah Yeah, we said what do you mean

15:26

and you said I like dancing dancing you're bugging

15:29

You know as if as if we've heard of

15:31

it the listeners have heard of it Yeah, now

15:33

if you're just tuning in for the first time, there's

15:35

a long-running joke about Matthew being a very old man

15:39

He said his 40s anyway, but he actually

15:41

he's in his 60s to 70s We've

15:44

looked up frogging myself and Vin who are young bucks

15:47

and on Wikipedia the frog was a dance craze

15:49

from the mid 1960s Which

15:53

included vigorous dance to pop music? This is exactly what

15:55

the kids were doing. So it's never gone away. You

15:57

went. Oh, yeah, that's why I've heard of it from

16:00

Bob Fosse. Yeah, the rich man's, apparently

16:02

it's Frugue. The rich man's Frugue.

16:05

But yeah, there was a Bob Fosse dance called

16:07

the rich man's Frugue, which is very... Who's

16:10

that? Oh no, you can't do that now. Bob

16:12

Fosse was one of the great choreographers of all

16:15

time. Yes. Yeah, Cabaret. He's well

16:17

known. I'm not going to accept... He is well

16:19

known, but it's not a modern

16:21

reference, I'd say. Sam

16:23

Rockwell played him in a drama series

16:25

quite recently, so it is quite reasonably

16:27

modern. The Frugue evolved from another

16:30

dance of the year, the Chicken. The Chicken,

16:32

yeah. Which was used as a change of

16:34

pace while doing the twist. I

16:36

guess it's a bit like Shaker Tail Feather, isn't it, when

16:39

you don't do the Shaker Tail Feather. Exactly. I don't

16:41

know what you're talking about. As young dancers

16:43

grew more tired, they would do less work,

16:45

moving only their hips or standing in place.

16:47

They then started making up-arm movements for the

16:50

dance, which prompted the birth of the swim,

16:52

the monkey, the dog, the watusi, the mashed

16:54

potato and the jerk. The Frugue is also

16:56

sometimes referred to as the Surf, Big B,

16:58

the Thunderbird. We're learning

17:01

together then, aren't we? Well

17:04

you know what? There's going to be plenty of Frugues

17:06

today on the show. What's that? It's like a Chris

17:08

Morris joke. Bear

17:11

in mind, you're getting this off a Wikipedia,

17:13

so my Wikipedia is full of misinformations. You've

17:15

got the same Wikipedia. I don't know how

17:17

long I have to talk you through the

17:19

internet. I'm just on my Wikipedia page. You

17:22

know when we go on the internet, they're not just giving

17:24

you your own version of something. Well

17:26

that's not entirely true, is it? Well

17:28

do your research. Yeah, exactly. But no,

17:31

the Wikipedia, my Wikipedia page

17:33

is full of things that are not true about

17:35

me. We don't know that the Frugues

17:37

could be a bit more... If you do

17:40

have Wikipedia editing powers, can you go on

17:42

to Matthew Crosby's Wikipedia and say that he invented

17:44

the Frugue? And

17:46

hyperlink it of course. Yeah, hyperlink

17:48

it. I'll absolutely accept that. Radio

17:51

X. Ed

17:53

Gamble and Matthew Crosby. Not

18:00

a great night's sleep, it's some weird dreams.

18:04

Genuine dream I had last night, a little

18:06

fridge and a... It's

18:09

full of pickles and peanut butter. That's

18:12

what I got out. Look

18:15

at all these pickles and peanut butter. And

18:17

there was a big pickle

18:20

shaped sort of peanut butter. It's peanut butter in

18:22

the shape of a pickle, with a pickle in

18:24

it. I put a knife through

18:26

it and see what it was like and then I realised it

18:28

was a comedy club and it was

18:30

for someone's act. So I was using all

18:33

of that for their act and I messed all up so

18:35

I was worried about that. I

18:37

don't know what that means. And then I genuinely

18:40

dreamt about chips. Right? Just

18:43

hang right. Anyway, no point

18:45

sitting around in bed all day. You've got to get

18:47

up, because the worst thing you

18:49

can spend a Sunday doing is

18:52

wallowing. Whoa!

19:00

Wallowing there, Matthew. Who's wallowing was it? I've

19:03

seen them live and the way they dress, I can only be described as

19:05

beekeepers. The

19:18

dress is a bit of a dress

19:24

I can only be described as beekeepers.

19:26

The dress is beekeepers! They've sort of

19:28

got big beekeepers masks on, black beekeepers

19:30

masks. And presumably that's the big masks

19:32

stopping from being able to hear each

19:34

other. That's why they're all playing in

19:36

different sizes and passages, right? Because that

19:38

was, I was sort of thinking, how

19:40

do you bob your head, how do you

19:43

froog to that? Well, you don't frug. Because, all right,

19:45

well, how do you headbang, how

19:47

do you mosh to that kind of thing?

19:49

The more you just, with music like that, you sort

19:52

of stand there and let yourself debase in a wall

19:54

of sound. You sort of sway back and forth, all

19:56

in different, you know, you all kind of undulate at

19:58

different tempos. Yeah, yeah. chin and go

20:00

aren't I clever? That's clever for this.

20:03

I'm not going to lie to you, I did enjoy it though. What

20:05

was that song called? Oh I can't

20:07

remember now. Which one did I pick? If

20:10

it's rude, don't worry about it. I don't think

20:12

it is rude. It's called Flesh and Steel. Flesh

20:14

and Steel. Flesh and Steel. Two of

20:16

my top things. Yeah I know, I love having

20:18

flesh. Love having flesh, love having

20:20

a knife in my pocket to threaten people

20:23

on the train. Okay. Ed

20:25

Gamble and Matthew Crosby.

20:27

Radio X. Now

20:30

we were talking about this a couple of weeks ago. It

20:32

turns out more of our listeners than we realise

20:34

used to work for Debenham. Quite a lot I

20:36

think. Quite a lot of our listeners. I'd

20:39

say almost 90% of our listeners used to work for

20:41

Debenham. Absolutely right, yeah. I don't know what

20:43

it is, we just attract people who worked for Debenham. It's just the

20:45

kind of show it is. This is

20:48

from Chris in Coma. It's more to do with

20:50

the age of our listeners in

20:52

that it's people who worked in retail

20:54

when they were teenagers. Yeah, in the

20:56

80s and 90s. Where else

20:58

are you going to work in retail but Debenham's? It's

21:01

a huge store right? It was a huge store. RIP.

21:04

This is from Chris in Coma, previously Belfast. Evening

21:08

gentlemen, fair enough. I

21:11

started working in the Belfast Debenham's through a set up

21:13

interview with my big sister's friend. I

21:15

was told I'd be working in the tech section selling TVs. Big

21:18

surprise when I got assigned to the women's accessories. Being

21:21

a smart fellow I soon found my way around the

21:23

murky world of tights and handbags and worked

21:26

my way to women's clothing. Now this

21:29

is exciting. Where I once served Lisa

21:31

Riley a leather jacket. Do you serve

21:33

someone a leather jacket? Well, I don't

21:35

know. You serve Lisa

21:37

Riley and sold her a leather jacket. Yeah,

21:40

well okay. So you sold Lisa Riley

21:42

a leather jacket. I then moved to

21:45

concession retailer selling luxury bed linenning to

21:47

posh people. Also my friend

21:49

from school at the time and her mum both

21:51

worked in lingerie. So both me and my friend's

21:53

mum worked in Debenham's. Love you both Chris in

21:55

Coma. P.S. I once got caught snogging a colleague

21:57

in the smoking room. He actually says I'm a

22:00

once got caught snogging a college. Could have been a

22:02

college. Yeah, I was thinking how big is the smoking

22:04

room? That's a lot of work,

22:06

isn't it? A lot of work. It's a bit like that

22:08

bloke from Made in Chelsea did, you know, did the, broke

22:10

the hugging record this week. Did you see that on the

22:12

snoring? What's his face?

22:14

Sam Thompson from Made in Chelsea. Broke the

22:16

hugging record. Yeah, the most hugs in a

22:19

minute. He hugged about sort of

22:21

90 people in a minute. Well, something to do, isn't

22:23

it? I suppose. Absolutely something to do. We're going to

22:25

try and break that after this. Hang on, 90 in

22:27

a minute. It was something like that. Yeah. 86 or

22:29

87. Like that's faster than one a

22:31

second. Oh yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was really going

22:34

for it. Well, what constitutes a hug in that case?

22:36

Both arms around a person, give them a squeeze. I'm

22:39

not having that. If it's less than a second. Wait, wait, wait, wait.

22:41

What do you think constitutes a hug? You've got to feel, he's got

22:43

to mean something. No, no, no. What do you mean?

22:46

And how are they measuring that? How are

22:48

the Guinness Book of Records measuring it must

22:50

feel something? Like a jazz man. You've got

22:53

to know about it. Well, listen, these were

22:55

very tender hugs, albeit brief. They were less

22:57

than a second. And his eyes were moist

22:59

throughout the entire thing. Yeah, because he was

23:01

crying about his career. He's actually the king

23:03

of the jungle, wasn't he? Come

23:06

on, Sam. This

23:09

is from Sarah. Debman anecdote for

23:11

you. I worked as a personal shopper in Debenhams

23:13

between 2009 and 2012. Some

23:16

of my most memorable appointments are a guy in

23:18

his late twenties who booked an appointment to look

23:20

for work shirts. Inexplicably, he tried on every shirt without

23:23

his trousers on and made sure I looked at

23:25

the length of the shirt each time. I don't

23:27

think that is inexplicable. I think that's flickably, actually. Yeah,

23:29

sorry that happened to you. I also helped a lovely

23:31

old lady into a pair of control knickers, which she

23:33

promptly weeded and she couldn't get them back off

23:35

in time to get to the toilet. Oh, quite

23:37

sad. Finally, another lady who got

23:39

her armpit hair stuck in the zip

23:42

of a dress, which I then had to cut her free from. Love

23:44

the show. It's starting for a text I

23:47

could actually contribute to. Thanks, Sarah. There were

23:49

three anecdotes there. Two of them I'd

23:51

say were worrying and sad. And the last one, nail

23:53

on the head. But

23:56

we were, you know what? We're very generous. We'll give

23:58

you three shots. of them.

24:01

We'll give you three strikes and if the last one

24:03

connects oh my god my goodness there you go thank

24:05

you so much Sarah if you have a denim anecdote

24:08

you'd like to share with us. Denim anecdote. Denim anecdote.

24:10

Yes okay folks we're gonna play

24:17

this song by the Stone Roses but

24:19

your stories of denim after this. Radio,

24:22

Egg, Mashi Crosby and Edward.

24:24

We've got a great text in here

24:26

from Andy the painter but

24:28

first of all Matthew I just wanted to say I've been perusing your

24:31

Wikipedia. Oh aye. There's a whole section

24:33

called radio appearances and the show is

24:36

Nat Mention. So Andy sort it out

24:38

mate. This is from Andy the painter.

24:41

I have things that don't sound like what

24:43

they is. So this is

24:45

a new potential feature for us Matthew things

24:47

that don't sound like what they is. This

24:49

is great I love this. Yeah can't remember

24:51

if that's a text but it sounds like

24:53

one it does I think you've done a

24:55

good job of finding something within our wheelhouse.

24:57

Yes absolutely. Anyway allotment doesn't sound anything like

25:00

a place you'd want to grow fruit and vegetables it sounds

25:02

like a small storage area for folders and files. That's

25:05

really good I really like that. Do

25:07

you know the word I think doesn't sound

25:09

like what it is? What? Glamorous. Now

25:12

I think glamorous feels like the sort of thing that would

25:14

happen to a wound right I'm afraid

25:16

it's gone glamorous yeah you know like it's like

25:18

it started to kind of get a bit of

25:21

a pussy you know yeah you need to stick

25:23

the old maggots on to chew it off. You

25:25

know in ways glamour is the puss

25:28

on society. Very much so

25:30

very much so. I was wearing those

25:32

glasses from the film Them.

25:35

Is that a film? So I

25:37

could see through society I think

25:39

glamour would be like a wound.

25:41

Yeah glamorous. A rotting wound. This

25:43

is good though like words that

25:45

don't sound like what

25:48

they is. This is Radio X.

25:50

Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby. This

25:52

was inspired by Andy the painter

25:54

we're talking about words that

25:56

don't sound like they should. It's

25:59

a really good idea. because what we're doing

26:01

is we're taking listener source features. Yes. It means

26:03

if they don't work, it's not our fault. It's

26:05

absolutely not on our backs at all. The only

26:07

fault that lies with us is being too trusting.

26:11

We just love our listeners too much. Yeah. That's what

26:13

it is. We've had some great responses in

26:15

though. 83936 on the text, at

26:17

Radio X on the Twitter if you'd like to get involved. So,

26:21

this one is, this is great from an anonymous

26:23

texter, Sweetbreads. Oh

26:25

yeah. It's a, I think it's perfect

26:27

this one. Sweetbreads should be iced buns

26:29

or other pastries, not offal. Yes. They

26:31

don't describe what they are. They don't

26:34

describe what they are. Should be called

26:36

glands. Yeah, exactly. Sweetbread. It's just phenomenal

26:38

PR on the part of offal, isn't

26:40

it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, I love

26:42

a few. I love a sweetbread. Oh,

26:44

yes please. And they're not, that is

26:46

an industry that is not typically good

26:48

at PR. No. They

26:51

don't know what they're doing. Liver. Yeah.

26:53

Well, I guess liver, you're like, oh, it's gonna make me

26:55

liver longer. Liver longer? It's gonna

26:57

liver longer. I'm gonna liver longer. Yeah. Yeah,

26:59

but they're pretty much- Kid's knees don't sound

27:01

like what they are. Kid's

27:03

knees, I don't want to eat that. Thank you. I

27:06

wouldn't want to eat either version of that. No. Kid's

27:08

knees, I used to, you know what, I did actually

27:10

used to like offal back when I used to eat

27:12

meat. Yeah. I was a big fan of kidneys. Yeah.

27:14

You felt like you'd got a lot of, like, I

27:16

felt there was a lot of- Grins. Yeah, I felt

27:18

there was a lot going on. Very dense. I eat

27:21

a lot, mate. Do you? Do you eat everything? Yeah.

27:23

Have you ever had head cheese? Yes. Have you? Yes.

27:25

What's it like? Tasty. Is it really? You

27:27

put it all together, sort of compacted into like

27:29

a pate slash riette situation. Very

27:31

nice. Really, a bit of head cheese. I

27:33

mean, head cheese is not, again, bad at

27:36

PR apart from the sweet bread. Sweet breads.

27:38

Sweet breads, yes please, yum, yum, yum. Have

27:40

you got on there? I do,

27:42

yes. I mean, this is quite a good insight

27:44

into our listeners sometimes because they're saying this is

27:46

if it's obvious and everyone thinks this. Okay. Things

27:49

that don't sound like what they is. Carpet doesn't

27:51

sound like a warm surface in your home. It's

27:53

obviously a tame animal you keep in your car.

27:55

Oh, a carpet? Carpet,

27:57

do you? Yeah. It's not the first one. I

28:00

want to hear carpet I'll be honest. Also that

28:02

description of what carpet is a warm

28:05

surface in your home. It's not a

28:07

warm surface in your home. But

28:10

you know what? Tricky to define isn't it?

28:12

I think this is true of a lot of words. I know, are

28:14

we back to what do you not know what it is? Because

28:18

once you start talking about it, I

28:20

mean if you have to describe carpet in a

28:22

sentence, for a, say you're working on the dictionary,

28:24

you have to describe carpet in a sentence. Flawfare.

28:29

Flawfare. But I guess carpet is a warm

28:31

surface in your home. It is for insulation.

28:33

Is it not? Yes. It's

28:36

a warming surface. Stu the gardener, who is Cathy

28:38

from Shrewsbury's dad, says Bluetooth doesn't sound like what

28:40

it is. Sorry, I'm still

28:42

working out the family tree here. Cathy Shrewsbury sent

28:44

this in from Stu the gardener. From

28:46

Stu the gardener, yeah. I don't just know that Stu

28:48

the gardener is... You're very familiar with the listeners, aren't

28:51

you? But he says Bluetooth doesn't

28:53

sound like what it is. Well that's true

28:55

because it's named after a, it's named after a Viking,

28:57

isn't it Bluetooth? Is it? Yeah, there

28:59

was a Viking called Bluetooth and that's why the little

29:01

image, if you look at the little image, it's a

29:03

picture of a Viking. Wow, man. Yeah,

29:06

boring, right? So good. No, this is

29:08

good, man. Someone simply

29:10

texted in, Granny Smith. Absolutely right.

29:13

Croppy J and the Machine.

29:16

Radio X. This one from

29:18

Shira, denominator. Shira. Shira.

29:21

Shira, it's a

29:23

math term. Why does it sound like

29:25

a sexy robot? It's a great question.

29:27

That's where he's a denominator. A denominator.

29:29

A denominator. Dominated by the denominator. Bloop

29:31

bloop. Bloop, bloop,

29:33

indeed, yeah. Things

29:36

don't sound like what they is, go on. Shampoo doesn't sound

29:38

like what it is. No, it doesn't. That's

29:40

from a listener. They've not said who they

29:42

are. But yeah, shampoo. Shampoo from

29:44

a real friends, fake poo for my, what was

29:46

he? Anyway, yes, but things that don't sound

29:49

like what he is. Red Bull. Sounds more

29:51

like a power tool or a vacuum. Do

29:54

you accept that? You seem

29:56

unconvinced by that one. Yeah, I mean, I guess

29:58

I'm just, Red Bull is so. part of

30:00

the cultural zeitgeist now, but you don't think about

30:02

it. If you called

30:04

a power tool blue ball, I think, is that

30:07

a new flavour of red ball? Yeah, fair enough.

30:09

Fair enough. That's the power of marketing. Mint

30:12

pies. No mints from Wayne Bradford. Yeah, you know

30:14

what? This sounds like Wayne is a man who's

30:17

caught out every Christmas. Yeah, but

30:19

if there are also mint pies. Mint

30:21

pies. Yeah, there are meat pies. That's

30:25

interesting, that one, isn't it? You've

30:27

got mints, obviously like mints meat

30:29

that you'd ground up meat. You've got

30:31

mints meat. It's always got mints in it as

30:33

well, isn't it? Mints meat,

30:36

that's the fruity stuff you put in there. And then you've

30:38

got the word mints as well. It

30:41

all sounds like it's very confusing being

30:43

alive. Superfluous.

30:45

That's from Joey and Kent. Thank

30:49

you. Very good. I don't know whether he's entering

30:51

the text message or the text or he's letting

30:53

us know how he feels about us on the

30:55

station. True, but

30:57

you've not told us what it sounds like, Joe.

30:59

What does it sound like, Joe? To me it's

31:01

like superflow, it's like a sort of plumbing term,

31:04

superfluous. Superfluous. Yeah, so it's

31:06

like the plumber would come over and go, you

31:08

don't actually have any problem with the pipes, you're

31:10

actually, your pipes are superfluous. If anything, they're working

31:12

too well. Superfluous. They're superfluous. I think

31:14

it's the name of a wrapper. Well

31:17

that can work with it for anything, can't it?

31:19

Denominator. Denominator would be good. Mint

31:21

pie. Yeah, mint pie. Yeah, mint

31:24

pie. Yeah, mint pie. Mint pie

31:26

really is a mix tape. You buy that. Yeah. Recover.

31:29

I don't see how that means get better. Surely it

31:31

should mean to cover something up again. Recover.

31:33

But in this, I think it does. He can mean

31:35

that. I think it does mean that as well. I

31:38

think sometimes on like a microwave meal when it says,

31:40

you know, open it up, give it

31:42

a stir, recover. It's not meaning recover

31:45

from the factory and get about to eat a microwave meal.

31:47

No, but it also, it means recover, but recover means something

31:49

different. I see what it means. It can mean two things,

31:51

but I guess in a situation where

31:53

you're locked outside the house naked, then someone gives

31:56

you a blanket, you've recovered and

31:58

you've recovered from the naked situation. I say

32:00

yeah sneakers actually this now we get into

32:02

something with sneakers who sneaks and sneakers. I

32:05

like that It's a bit like it's a

32:07

bit like sweatpants, right? Yes Why

32:10

are we calling in that? Well,

32:12

I guess they're for exercise aren't nice. Yeah, but

32:14

come on. I'm not wearing out the house socially

32:17

Nishkuma We

32:24

were just saying before we played that song we've

32:26

not checked Twitter for a while We've not checked

32:28

that with asking you to tweet and we've not

32:30

checked the Twitter Vin went on a

32:32

check for us some more called Charles has said that he thinks

32:34

that Gammon sounds like a fish So that's why we don't go

32:36

on Twitter Those are

32:38

the people that are left. I Think

32:41

this I think this feature burn very

32:43

brightly and then died Well,

32:46

I mean Hazel said school sounds

32:48

like it should be cool, but

32:50

it isn't crunch and crumble radio

32:53

We don't know a tremendous amount about the

32:55

world of sport, but we are willing to

32:57

give it a go. This is sports desk

33:23

Yes, that's right, we're gonna be going through

33:25

the sports headlines so we're gonna kick off

33:27

with golf bong McElroy

33:29

says he has changed his tune

33:32

on live Tournament

33:34

players am I saying that right? Is it

33:36

live or is it live? Is it live

33:38

tournament places at people who play golf live

33:40

as opposed to the new AI goal?

33:43

Well, I don't know what he's referring to but

33:45

the phrases live live. Oh, okay

33:48

live live tournament Three tournaments in

33:50

the world of golf. There's live

33:52

there's love there's love exactly exactly

33:54

Yeah, and he's in the

33:56

middle of his live phase. Yes laugh, of

33:59

course is Crazy golf. Yes,

34:02

and love is the golf

34:04

of kings. Sexy golf. Sexy golf,

34:06

exactly right. Where you always

34:08

hope to get a hole in at least one. So

34:11

McElroy has said he could... Darling, would you

34:13

be up for playing some love golf tonight?

34:16

Remove your plus fours. Quick game of tonsil hockey and

34:18

then a little bit of... Otherwise

34:21

I'm playing pocket billiards on my own. So

34:24

McElroy... We're from

34:26

the wrong era man. We really

34:28

are, aren't we? We're

34:30

from the ear of the fruit. We really are.

34:34

Anyway, he's changed his tune. So what

34:36

a lot of people don't know about

34:38

this is McElroy will do

34:40

a low whistle while he's

34:43

putting away or while he's driving or any of

34:45

the other golfing terms where he's attempting to get

34:47

a birdie. Buggy. Where he's... Yeah,

34:50

absolutely. Where he's caddying. He caddies as well, did

34:52

you know that? Did it do it? He caddies

34:54

for the other players. Yeah. It's all

34:56

part of a psychological game. Caddy doesn't sound like

34:58

what it is. Caddy doesn't sound like

35:00

what it is. Like a speed of a horse. It's

35:03

true. It's good, you see. There's life in

35:05

the old feature. Yeah, 83936 on this exact video. No, don't listen

35:08

to the game. Don't get back into it. You're

35:10

a big dick. Don't get back into it. I

35:12

loved it. I think you're brilliant, but

35:15

you've upset Ed. Baby's missing. You don't

35:17

set on them. Shut up. I thought that

35:19

was a good one. No. And they're

35:21

not babies. They're not babies. It's child-looking

35:23

after eating. Anyway, listen.

35:25

Golf. So, he'll whistle a

35:27

little tune, right? And what

35:30

he does is they think, oh, I know what he's going to

35:32

be whistling. He's going to

35:34

be whistling the Macarena or something. And

35:37

then at the last minute, he

35:39

switches it to a similar but

35:41

different song to Psych'em Out. Yeah,

35:44

like Ketchup. That's exactly the example I was going to go for

35:46

as well. Great minds. And that's what he's

35:48

done. And you know what? That's the reason he's won

35:50

the day. Congratulations to Rory McElroy. I'm

35:52

going to wrap it up. It's amazing to look

35:54

over during a feature and Vin is so bored.

35:57

There's a man outside the studio

35:59

changing a car. Kyle them without

36:01

Lately he was vivid have said.

36:05

Okay well street do have time for

36:07

one more. How we got some mostly

36:09

move move along to the next one

36:11

of the next one is permits is

36:13

when the Olympics pong Brits top overseas

36:15

demand for Paris Twenty twenty four tickets.

36:17

Ah it's a beautiful city. The city

36:19

I love this amounted you know that

36:21

there was this year leave allocations for

36:23

Euro Disney tickets is that true and

36:25

the Brits the has of tops the

36:27

demand. You've gotta get in their early

36:29

have yeah. Especially if it's gonna pay

36:31

you know half term the summer holidays. that's

36:33

when the prices go up if he will

36:36

get there in the last three early that

36:38

you get the shape mickey Mouse by the

36:40

hand for a budget price a your kids

36:42

disease Aids Yes I love Disney we watch

36:44

more on a lot of they know there

36:47

is a Disney land because I remember when

36:49

I found that our we have not told

36:51

me I was a trailer for does at

36:53

Disneyland Paris on a video I had all

36:55

and i as leave it was real Yeah

36:58

no they don't know about Disneyland Yes yeah.

37:00

Army but I was about this my would say

37:02

whether I would say for for half and so

37:04

and a half tiny bit too young i think

37:06

said i've and maybe. Or yeah yeah

37:08

I thought I mean that that the me is

37:11

when parents gets repairs he gets really exciting we

37:13

get supposed to take it has to yeah you

37:15

know obviously of course it does mean he then

37:17

conifers do anything else for the rest of the

37:19

year so that for that one magical week yeah

37:21

none of you will be have gone avoids the.

37:25

Oh Queensberry Rules Been. Come on. That's

37:27

true. That's true. We are quite smart

37:29

Lead: we don't have access to play one

37:31

of the characters. Right? We

37:33

could you know of a size though. Ready

37:36

we've got. We've got four of the seven

37:38

dwarves right there. habit way we just need

37:40

to get three. Other mean I mean that

37:42

was my jokes or I mean that when

37:44

when you say cart lady cast members yes

37:47

you have to be a certain size you

37:49

can't be too big. Supply side Cairo yeah

37:51

you thought you can't have like a seven

37:53

foot tall Mickey Mouse hobby. I guess if

37:55

you're very till you get greasy right? Yeah

37:58

but yeah and I think the biggest. The

38:00

biggest traps get to play as much yeah

38:02

but like I must be baked right up

38:04

to one of guests Get hooked. Up.

38:09

With it it's it's the the the The Texas put you

38:11

in a foul mood today. has an it a rest. Of

38:15

your it it really found that robot a pub

38:17

for birds Are you kidding me like that's the

38:20

price about will be no as a that are

38:22

missing goes looks a crowbar know there was a

38:24

pop for birds as I think that's good stuff.

38:26

Shelter eyesight live under this is this is the

38:29

class. This is the. Class here on

38:31

Radio X. Lucky Les mis we

38:33

love you very much on his

38:35

radio. Said gamble and see caused

38:37

a. Wooden

38:40

that's funny schools ask? don't tell me who's

38:42

to sort of cast members much is the

38:44

tallest cast members and don't some incentives come

38:46

on tell me. I'd say the thing about

38:49

the cast members right is you know you

38:51

could pay a little bit extra and have

38:53

breakfast with one of the cast members and

38:55

is usually it's very rarely the person in

38:57

the big saves saris but you know. It's

39:00

very one of the cartoons artists because it's

39:02

tricky to them to eight cause sides and

39:04

will be like Cinderella you'll be sealed We

39:06

want to a will be one of the

39:08

princess's yeah the I'm Ariel but with the

39:10

legs you know that hundred lack of a

39:13

salary for she the social the buffer stereo

39:15

scary of the stereo situation yes he wanted

39:17

to a buffet an aerial was sat down

39:19

one of the tables yeah Siegler D C

39:21

a top half the and then there was

39:23

this figures on the bus I prefer to

39:25

use six What you don't see how are

39:27

you percent so he could viewing area child.

39:31

Was this is a new things my daughter's just realized

39:33

is this is we we we do. It's if a

39:35

fish in our house and or the other day says

39:38

he nepal and he picked up a when. Was.

39:40

This allies yeah and that's a big

39:42

that's quite a big moment on it.

39:44

And I was. That was yeah. So

39:46

yeah, was alive and now is dead

39:48

and he can. He said the great

39:50

professional has has anything to make more

39:52

enticing to hear of. Got power over

39:54

this fraud. Anyway,

39:56

the final headline. Final:

39:59

A Headline: In a result of. Other

40:02

issues as with this is war to a

40:04

very very into death of the my last

40:06

night as I was putting the to bed

40:08

she was asking me and when people die

40:10

to they come back to life and you

40:12

gotta be honest can't be like yea as

40:14

a days and and as to that know

40:16

that they've gone forever and Sheila immediately started

40:18

crying she's gonna miss a teacher so much

40:20

potential Yeah no may not may. Not.

40:23

May not see no money but said i have never

40:25

gonna see my teacher any me and you know to

40:27

go to school a gun on never gonna say you

40:29

would use died. But

40:31

that's okay my does or does hoping you'd never

40:33

be. But would you? This. Oh

40:36

no problems, he gets. Messy

40:39

Thursday and as lead the radio acts

40:41

now we'd be doing sports desk for

40:44

a couple of links who still got

40:46

one headlines ago. That

40:48

we keep getting distracted. Matthew, we did. You

40:50

get the says, i'm just a party googling

40:52

the tallest. Disneyland cast members just on

40:54

Ah, dust on his own. I was

40:57

just on studiously. Yeah, they're saying here

40:59

the the character heightens the tallest a

41:01

height requirements for Disneyland Disney wealth. Would

41:04

he just saw. Good. He

41:06

would eat a tiny little toy yeah, but

41:08

exists as soon as long as an embassy

41:10

to be addressing up like a little dogs

41:12

were, they were they to be the right

41:14

size. For sale as dressing up as

41:16

like as a terrier or something. put a put

41:19

in terrier. And the costs? yeah disease be the

41:21

right size for a toy. Yeah fair enough. Still

41:23

it was because it was like a with they'll

41:25

something quite skinny yeah like a with eating it

41:27

could see to with it to walk and it's

41:29

hind legs. The that we the perfect characters says

41:31

it here would be politically graceful would he himself

41:34

is in graces of a little bit overweight but

41:36

gangly. Odd Sigur as well. Answer the green Army

41:38

Men. Green. Army men sultanzoy story

41:40

of course but only with are all of them

41:42

would either via. Does. My son doesn't make

41:44

any sense as Mirage on The Wicked Stepmother Of

41:46

are among the tourist female characters as well. That

41:48

might only that the East is gonna be taller

41:51

than Gusto. You would think

41:53

so. Wouldn't even at least out like I can

41:55

find out. Hey what's housing costs? Have a nice

41:57

say. Would be taller than Gusto. I'm Gusto is.

42:00

This the man? yeah that's true as a

42:02

good voice but with yes that's true. What

42:04

is a costume? What about just scanning sense

42:06

that he rejects? Haven't seen a good said

42:08

Halloween and Christmas I was audio to heat

42:10

up to me just getting some additional paris

42:12

once than a He was pretty nice my

42:14

own jokes. getting seventy one by and walked

42:16

off. And then five

42:18

minutes later came came back it was a different

42:20

by can be costly but he was depressed not

42:22

not go depressed he got the goods getting since

42:24

the sports desk so it's it's good enough yet

42:27

estimate. That

42:32

guy. With

42:44

our resident outside of Dharma, a

42:47

lot of. Disney

42:52

say in Japan? guess my wife So

42:54

the data.was fussing with me. Really? you

42:56

got that kind of i do a

42:58

vibe and we die. As a gay

43:00

I give me the ice. seems to

43:02

see this the cold dead plastic eyes

43:04

of I assess assess up to talk

43:06

on the i cheated and only gone

43:08

once that she was talking to. You

43:10

appear unbelievable apparently. Five eleven to six

43:12

three to buy gas. Don Beyer fast

43:15

toll man by on. Doctor. Facility.

43:18

Which. I believe doctor facility is from the

43:20

asked for the Princess in the Frog. you've

43:22

gotta pay six but the six sects to

43:25

do that just about. Yeah. You could

43:27

six for to to us except for Jaffar

43:29

forty six one that can be Japan can

43:31

be my father's. Death.

43:33

Yes sir. Sixty Six forth, A Woody,

43:36

any white other that there's a headline

43:38

here. Well, node would have no time

43:40

for a while. It's a rollover U

43:43

S A Candle and see cause day.

43:47

i say we promise this time we're

43:49

going to us we can do as

43:51

they saw me promise as it's this

43:54

vital headline of three he's from the

43:56

whibley wobbly world of football bomb whole

43:58

via linux user You must, you must

44:00

sit. Port Vale, the nice singer Williams, has

44:03

made a bid for club. Now,

44:06

when you think of singer Williams, one

44:08

name immediately springs to mind. The great Andy

44:10

Williams. Andy Williams. Of course it

44:12

is. I thought you might say this. Of

44:14

course the great Andy Williams. But I'm

44:16

afraid... I thought we'd do Robbie Williams'

44:18

puns. I thought we'd come back to

44:20

it. What a sad

44:22

way for Port Vale to find out that

44:24

sadly Andy Williams has passed. Now, he was

44:27

a great man. He released some absolutely wonderful

44:29

records. Not least of which Moon River will

44:31

be playing later in the show. But

44:34

I'm afraid Port Vale, the reason they've had to deny

44:36

that Williams has made a bid to buy Port Vale

44:38

is because he passed away a few years ago. So

44:40

sorry to anyone who's been hearing this for the first

44:42

time and also sorry to the Williams estate. As

44:45

we all know, Robbie Williams can't buy

44:47

any football clubs because when he's tried to do it in

44:49

the past, he's tried to change the name of the penalty

44:51

box to the root. Yeah! Robbie

44:54

Williams, Maggie Cosby

44:56

and Edward. Why did

44:58

I build this ship

45:00

to wreck? Lawrence

45:02

and the Machine ship to wreck. Let's

45:05

look up the cover on Google images. Doesn't

45:08

she look like Davina McCall? She does look

45:10

like Davina McCall, doesn't she? Yeah. Yeah,

45:13

cast them as cousins. So

45:15

if only Davina McCall had hosted shipwreck,

45:17

it would be the perfect joke. It

45:19

would be the perfect joke. What's

45:22

the perfect joke, guys? You're 9-6 on the text,

45:24

that radio up to the Twitter. No time for

45:26

it now, unfortunately. No, never any time. It's

45:29

the end of the show. But thank you

45:31

all for listening. And thanks, can I just say, thanks

45:33

so much to everyone who got in touch with their

45:35

words that don't sound like they should. I

45:37

thought they were all fantastic. I enjoyed every single one of

45:39

them. Yeah, didn't they? 30% of them were good. The

45:42

rest of them were a reach. They

45:45

were either a reach and you don't think that or

45:47

you are a stupid idiot. Anyway,

45:50

it was Andy the painter's texter. Nothing

45:52

to do with us. Yeah,

45:54

trust Andy to bring out the stupid idiots. But

45:57

Thanks for listening all the same. Make Sure you

45:59

get the podcast. if you've missed any of the

46:01

show a you got that from the global players

46:03

and they need our there's a whole host of

46:06

great podcasts their yes indeed great what it is

46:08

one coming out this way to keep an eye

46:10

on for a piece of cake by Greg Wireless.

46:12

Very excited about that. I'll be listening at of

46:14

Love Drag Love cake anyway I daddy was he

46:16

sits around the corner to stay tuned for hims

46:18

see next week but. As

46:26

gamble unless he was day. Whether

46:28

we are Matthew all done now.

46:31

Beautiful show. Nazi Beat Bush I.

46:33

Target of go To store I wanted to tell you

46:35

yes ah I didn't want to tell on the main

46:37

shame. Come. In the process

46:40

of am I being being cast for

46:42

yes, This is what happens when he

46:44

leaves you dmz open so I haven't

46:46

unlocked. I'm not being catfish, but I'm

46:49

I'm the person contact me clearly wants

46:51

to. Catfish may be a happy same

46:53

as in a public forum just known

46:55

as. Yeah. I think so because know

46:57

this is going to go out though he has

46:59

enough it will go out. but I think in

47:01

own guess is that the exactly money now though

47:04

he gets as long as you're up to. A

47:06

couple of days ago I got some, I got

47:08

a handful of missed what's up calls rights and

47:10

I'll stick his use. This does cause he lady

47:12

that retires this this number. So I

47:14

sent a message saying sorry we don't again

47:16

concept with mates and. Ah, they

47:18

said yes, hello friends. This.

47:21

Is sad. Fact. Is is

47:23

it that they said and I say study

47:25

They said hello Justine, this is your friend.

47:28

Gave you get big pun huge huge

47:31

as you gave me your number a

47:33

couple of days ago and I said

47:35

i have a friend no not not

47:37

Justin and they said oh my goodness

47:39

I'm so embarrassed. Soyuz or Spotless House

47:41

or Break or reader Audrey Audrey the

47:44

over ignored with most writers and going

47:46

to say I murdered first He was

47:48

great and better as it. How's how's

47:50

Audrey? Ah and I said oh no

47:52

not not May what happened to Audrey

47:54

and a viable hang on hang on

47:57

hang Oh man what you. Saw. Him out.

47:59

What? Did you say what happened to Audrey? I don't know

48:01

what happened to Audrey. Why are you responding in the back

48:04

place? Because you're ripe for a catfish. So

48:06

then they said, how was Audrey? Audrey

48:08

ate something, some bad food and has

48:10

a bad stomach. And they

48:13

were saying, oh my goodness, I'm so embarrassed.

48:15

Oh dear, what an embarrassing thing

48:17

to have got the wrong number. I said, no, don't worry

48:19

about it. And they said, oh, you seem like a kind

48:21

person. Oh, here we go. Here we go. So anyway, I've

48:23

been chatting to this person for three days. Right.

48:26

Matty, this is all your fault. No, no, but

48:29

I'm sort of fascinated because I know what I

48:31

listen to. I've listened to Sweet Bobby. I've listened

48:33

to something was wrong. I know I've watched the

48:35

movie. I've watched the TV show. You

48:37

asked for some picky. You're going to fall

48:40

for it. Last night I got the first picky and

48:42

it's a sexy lady. Yeah,

48:44

absolutely. But I've been trying to talk about

48:46

whatever I like. So for example, I was

48:49

watching the KLF documentary on now and

48:51

so I just started messaging. Just watching the KLF. I'm

48:54

doing a bit of a front. Just watching the

48:56

KLF documentary. Have you told your wife that this is

48:58

happening because if she finds those messages, it's not going

49:00

to look good. Well, listen, I've last

49:02

night was I got a picky, but my wife was already

49:04

had gone to bed. I'm going to have

49:07

to tell her now. Now the picky is too late. Now the picky's

49:09

arrived. You shouldn't hold a pre picky. No, I think I think I

49:11

can tell her now. But you see the picky and how did

49:13

she get into sending you the picky? I say she is

49:16

definitely a man. That's a guy. So what did

49:18

I say? He did burn 500 quid of my

49:20

yes, that's too late. Yeah. So

49:24

that is defacing me. It's hard to imagine.

49:27

It's hard to imagine burning such a

49:29

large sum of money, says my friend,

49:31

your girlfriend, Victoria here. Yeah. I

49:35

said, what do you think they were dealing with? Anyway, then straight

49:37

away, this picture comes in. This is me. So

49:39

you have an idea of who you're talking to. Yes. There

49:42

we go. Not them. Not them. I

49:45

tried. I tried to not that small Asian lady.

49:47

Google reverse search the image, but it's not. It's

49:49

not popping up. Yeah. But

49:52

it's no keep trying to carry on talking

49:54

about the picture. The we said, yeah. But

49:59

then there's probably. I've got my picture. I'm thinking

50:02

giant from the new gladiators. I

50:06

should do that because she came

50:08

to work for a company Nielsen, the company

50:10

Nielsen, right? And I was like amazing because

50:12

I'm fascinated by the notion of Nielsen families.

50:14

I tried to talk to about Nielsen families.

50:16

She didn't really know much about Nielsen families.

50:19

It's suspicious if you work for Nielsen, you'd know what Nielsen families

50:21

are. If you work for Dennis Nielsen. Well, then

50:25

she said, oh, by the way, I haven't asked what your name is.

50:27

I said, my name is Neil, then anyway,

50:34

she said, check your profile. And you look young. I think

50:36

we're the same age. I can say, where's she checked the

50:38

profile? Because it's my pictures on my WhatsApp. So she's lying.

50:42

Yeah. I said, we look the same age. She looks about,

50:45

I'm going to say it. She's saying she's saying

50:47

she's 29. I said, she's not 29. I

50:49

said, I can guarantee you

50:52

we're not the same age.

50:54

This is the police. You're

50:56

going to be on a YouTube documentary about pedo

50:58

hunters. I

51:01

said, surely bagging on about the KLF might have tipped you off.

51:03

I'm not 29. Anyway, she said, you

51:05

look younger than me. What's your secret? I said, adrenochrome, obviously.

51:08

And she said, adrenochrome is often part

51:10

of conspiracy theories. I believe in healthy living for staying

51:12

young. And I said, yeah, I don't really use adrenochrome.

51:15

Anyway, we haven't had a great, great job. But now she's

51:17

trying to get me to start texting on a different number.

51:22

I feel like this is a

51:24

midlife crisis, isn't it? I

51:27

bet loads of men start with this as a joke.

51:32

Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. The meter of Victoria. Exactly. So

51:34

I don't know what the reason is, but I

51:36

feel like we shouldn't be doing this. Yeah. But

51:38

we're not doing it. The advice must

51:40

be that you shouldn't be doing it. Don't engage with the...

51:43

Well, get in touch. Tell me what I'm doing wrong, guys. But

51:46

there's probably some horrible reason that you... Yeah.

51:49

By prolonging it, there's something bad is going

51:51

to happen or it perpetuates something. Well, I

51:53

don't know. Well, who knows? We'll find out

51:56

next week. The Thing is, I've

51:58

watched too many Netflix documentaries. The not

52:00

be interested in what the game alone game

52:02

is That's my that's my problem Yeah. It'll

52:05

come I'm sure a loyal to get me to

52:07

switch to a different like you do you watch

52:09

the into splintering a how do you end up

52:11

in the situation sweet spot. This is a semi

52:13

what I wanted to I'm ah and then. And.

52:16

Then censor said him as his anti smoke person

52:18

accounts to submit to the street as help us

52:20

with two different number dollars x or different numbers

52:22

with this is my work mom works idea of

52:24

what about what about just a new habitats and

52:26

Justine on the work fungi Oh yeah was between

52:28

a hurry up I forgot so the scene I

52:30

like said what our don't would see the benefit

52:32

of switching number like as has been if a

52:34

bomb I'm I'm I'm loath to do that bet

52:37

to do that but yeah don't want to do

52:39

that. Doesn't that feel end of the key send

52:41

a picky it. But. I see you

52:43

say it's the join from Gladiators All. All.

52:46

I can call to know like a dog, see what?

52:51

This is like actually seen a becky of

52:53

your a to be employing their summer summer

52:55

what's up But it's interesting isn't It was

52:57

like how did they get my number in

52:59

the first place why are they just calling

53:01

to be as run the random numbers olds

53:03

I into somebody become of going i'm hi

53:05

mum of gas my phone my phone lot

53:08

of women and boss I also money really.

53:10

Worth. Of us father here fell for

53:12

it. was there an but yeah yeah

53:14

that's any ads and just. You. Know

53:16

what it's like? It's is it isn't

53:19

it? Interesting world I'm indices there by

53:21

Ana yes you're going Nc date I

53:23

know somebody to it. Got cafe stunned

53:25

when they tell you back what happened

53:27

to them. He. Sound insane via of

53:29

course you know ask eat out I

53:31

was going out with this girl the

53:33

into that who's and model but a

53:35

web com was broken com on he

53:37

must realize it's happen it up into

53:39

office of you still at those for

53:41

shooting shown capital assess assess as as

53:43

the General Douglas email address who delivered.

53:46

anyway and that is as was gonna like you

53:49

will i die as nice way of us have

53:51

it was a good run into guru yeah flag

53:53

but yeah i do honest i do have to

53:55

speak to i to charlie body does it does

53:58

it is it is also whether or not your

54:00

ramsey People think you are mad for doing this

54:02

by the way. Yeah, but it feels mad, but

54:04

am I mad or am I a journalist? Well

54:08

you're not a journalist, I guess you're mad. I

54:10

believe myself to be a journalist. Yeah, so you're

54:12

mad. I think I'm a Lexi monstrous. I know

54:14

people from tortoise- I mean if you do a

54:16

podcast about it. From tortoise media, some of them

54:18

listen to this show. In fact I

54:20

might DM the guys from Tortoise and say, listen, tell

54:22

me what I'm doing. Yeah, I've been paying for subscription

54:24

on Tortoise. Anyway,

54:28

it's an interesting world. There

54:32

we go. Mad

54:34

isn't it? Absolutely mad. Of

54:36

course that's not you. Here's a picture of me, just

54:38

so you know you're talking to. Absolutely

54:41

not. Burt Rex. Burt Rex, yeah. I

54:44

watched American Nightmare, which I

54:46

really really enjoyed. Really

54:49

mad. Really mad. Obviously

54:52

very bleak. But really

54:54

mad. And also ended with quite a

54:56

few questions unanswered. But

54:58

I'm really really really fascinated. So

55:01

thanks for the wreck on that. So the

55:04

year of drama continues. Oh yeah, the

55:06

big year of drama. So we're hopping on

55:08

board with 2017's hottest show, Crew Detective. We're

55:12

watching it from the first series. Right,

55:15

I'd say not the new one. Not the new one. We thought we might

55:17

watch the new one, but we thought why not just go- why not watch

55:19

the first one? Everyone said the first one

55:21

was so brilliant. And it's very

55:23

good. It's very good. I couldn't tell

55:25

you what the hell's going on. Do

55:27

you know what I mean? I've got no clue

55:29

what's going on. Why? I haven't

55:31

seen it. Is it particularly complicated? It seems like

55:33

it to me. I think I'm just

55:36

out of- I think it's because I've spent so much time

55:38

watching like reality

55:40

TV, which is so clearly explained

55:42

what everything is happening. All

55:44

the time. So many recaps that when

55:46

they go, who do you think that is? And they go,

55:48

well it's probably Charlie. You go, who the fuck? Charlie? I'm

55:51

the only person who's that- I've never heard- also

55:53

there's a murder plot going all the way

55:55

through it. But you don't have- like every

55:57

time they meet a person, they meet them for- a

56:00

little chat with them and you go well it's not that person.

56:02

So you don't, there's no one you think oh

56:04

and maybe it's that person because of all this suspicious stuff they've

56:06

done. There's no one, so if they go oh actually it turns

56:08

out to be, right basically

56:10

unless it's unless the murderer turns out

56:12

to be Woody Harrelson, Matthew McConaughey or

56:15

Woody Harrelson's wife. I'm

56:17

not going to care, not going to care who

56:19

it is. But anyway it's um you know it's

56:21

definitely it's definitely a drama. And apparently the second

56:23

series is really bad. Yeah people didn't love the second

56:26

series but this new one's supposed to be very good.

56:28

Charlie's coping with it. Yeah you

56:30

know what we're just we're both we're

56:32

both watching it. It's not particularly disturbing

56:34

you know there's nothing that's really sort of

56:36

stopped us from wanting to watch it apart from

56:38

it. It's a little uneasy though. Oh yeah yeah

56:40

yeah but I don't think it's you know it's

56:42

not like um it's not like uh

56:45

triangle of sadness where we have to turn it off.

56:47

Life is a flat circle you know all that chat

56:49

yeah. What's what's that? Okay never

56:51

mind either you've had it or you

56:53

didn't you didn't concentrate or yeah you

56:55

know all the sort of like dark

56:57

philosophical conversations they have in the car.

56:59

Oh my god yeah yeah yeah yeah.

57:01

Interminable. Yeah. What I like is the the guy is

57:03

the guy is that like the

57:05

guy's like the armor you know I'm Woody Harrelson I'm

57:08

a meat and potatoes guy. Yeah. You know I love

57:10

my wife I'd also love my mistress that kind of

57:12

guy. He's every bit as verbose as the other guy.

57:15

But anyway no I'm not sure what's going on

57:17

but I'm not hopefully by the final

57:19

episode I love uh you do hope that it will all

57:21

clear into place. Yeah yeah yeah. I really really hope so.

57:24

Um what else to backtrack? Are the new

57:26

Future Islands record? I really really like it. They

57:28

haven't reinvented the wheel but it's brilliant. Um

57:31

people aren't there who aren't there anymore.

57:33

Um there's a there's also

57:35

a good new a new podcast

57:37

from Ben Mankiewicz who does the

57:41

he does the Turner classic movies podcast but it's

57:43

interviewing directors and the Emerald Fennell interview is

57:46

really good. Like her um the

57:49

sort of her uh upbringing in cinema

57:51

like what she used to what

57:54

inspired her and she's a very interesting

57:56

person to listen to so that is very very good.

58:00

a couple of flat-share stand-downs that have just

58:02

gone on sale. So please do come along

58:04

to those. We've got February the 19th and

58:06

February the 20th. We've got Alex Brooker and Morgan Rees

58:09

at the first one and then we've got Lucy Porter

58:11

and Flo and Joan at the second one and

58:13

they are on sale now. Great

58:17

line-up. Thank you. I'm

58:20

on tour starting in March. Hot diggity dog

58:22

again Robert Carter UK for tickets. Yes. Going

58:25

all over the place. Becky

58:28

Rakey's Australian Traitors

58:30

Series 2. Yeah. I'd

58:32

say first four episodes they are the

58:34

most relaxed group. I mean it's very

58:36

Australian thing. They're like having a laugh

58:38

around the round table. They're doing jokes.

58:40

That made me angry. Yeah. Because

58:43

it should be taken. Not a laugh. Not a

58:45

laugh. It's a serious business. Serious

58:47

business. Or a fatal. And then

58:49

they suddenly, in episode five, suddenly start taking

58:51

it really seriously. It's super intense. They're some

58:54

of the thickest group of people. And

58:57

now look, having now sort of

58:59

semi-worked within the world of the Traitors. Yeah.

59:02

You know I'm having to feel a lot of questions from friends and

59:04

family about how do they not know. It's like well they don't know

59:06

because they don't know. That's the whole point of the game. Yeah.

59:10

And it's very difficult to work out what's going on

59:12

if you're in the game because you've not seen who

59:14

the Traitors are. You know because you're watching the show

59:16

and they tell you who the Traitors are. You would

59:18

not. I know you think you'd do better than them

59:20

but you absolutely would not be better than them because

59:22

you're in there for 24 hours. You don't see an

59:24

edited highlights reel of what's happening in the house. And

59:26

you don't see every other conversation in the house either.

59:29

But Australian Traitors series two,

59:31

they are morons. Really?

59:34

Yeah. So it's well worth a watch.

59:36

I'll watch that. Yeah. Great. Loved it. And the end

59:38

is bananas. Yeah. Because you texted us.

59:41

It is. You texted me last night. It's

59:43

bananas. I've just finished. Yeah.

59:47

Yeah. A few days. Yeah. Okay.

59:52

I'll do my best. Well,

59:55

I'm not going to finish the series by the next. I

1:00:00

see you which let's face it is Tuesday. Yeah,

1:00:02

I think that's tricky And

1:00:05

my other one you'll like this unless you've listened to it

1:00:07

already It's a

1:00:10

BBC podcast or even Inside

1:00:13

the X Factor is called offstage inside the

1:00:15

X Factor. No, I haven't I haven't there

1:00:17

was a really good one about reality TV

1:00:19

in General those BBC sounds a couple of

1:00:21

years ago. I think I recommend I think

1:00:23

it was I saw this because there was

1:00:25

a trailer for this on the feed of

1:00:27

the reality right Yeah, the podcast really off

1:00:30

stage inside the X Factor off stage inside

1:00:32

the X Factor and then see loads of

1:00:34

old Contestants absolutely in my way. You can't

1:00:36

tell me about that and then also say

1:00:38

watch traitor series, too. Yeah Yeah, oh

1:00:40

no, okay. Oh, yeah, I would say it's

1:00:42

very interesting There's obviously some things that working

1:00:45

in the media that we know Yes And

1:00:47

that everything's not as it seems and also

1:00:49

but it also goes into how hard like

1:00:51

the runners are working on the show Oh,

1:00:53

yeah, and the sort of the

1:00:55

state of that and yeah, it's interesting Fascinating

1:00:58

great brilliant and it's not totally

1:01:01

one-sided It's not the aftercare

1:01:03

was terrible and all of these people are destitute now

1:01:05

There's a lot of people who like I went into

1:01:07

it knowing. Yeah what it was like With

1:01:11

Sam Bailey who won it yeah So

1:01:14

she's so great. Yeah, and

1:01:16

they were talking about this She gets the million pound

1:01:18

record contracts and she was I knew it wasn't that's

1:01:21

not what it means But to

1:01:23

the viewer You're getting

1:01:25

a million pounds. Yeah, but no that's the amount of money.

1:01:27

They're investing into you. They got 150 grand Okay,

1:01:30

not to be missed out pretty good

1:01:33

Yeah, and then everything else is just

1:01:35

invested into promoting you and putting you

1:01:37

on tour and recording and all that

1:01:39

business Yeah, what a racket? Yeah, but

1:01:41

brilliant. Yeah, good. Good. Pod.

1:01:43

He great. Love a good pod. He then

1:01:45

what about you? Nothing really only

1:01:47

thing I've got anything this week. No, no,

1:01:49

so I will just say Jasper Looks

1:01:52

amazing in the India test kit. Oh My

1:01:55

I think his shoulders look fantastic with the sort

1:01:57

of blue epaulettes that they got. So you're Last

1:02:00

week you were recommending a guy's beard. Kano's

1:02:02

beard? This week... Are you building the perfect

1:02:04

man? Are you? I think if I was...

1:02:06

Are you Dr. Frank N. Thurter? If I

1:02:08

was building the perfect man... Dr. Winkenstein? Probably

1:02:11

would have Kano's beard and Boomer's action. So...

1:02:13

That's right. So we've got a beard and

1:02:15

we've got shoulders now. Every week you have

1:02:17

to recommend a different bit of a man

1:02:19

you like. A different body part, yeah. Dr.

1:02:21

Winkenstein. Dr. Winkenstein. It's a great new feature.

1:02:23

Yeah. A poddy only feature. I love it.

1:02:27

By the end we can fully describe

1:02:29

Dr. Winkenstein's monster. Great. Yeah, fantastic. And also

1:02:31

you better make a timecode note so we can

1:02:33

put it together. Yeah. We can assemble it. Yeah,

1:02:35

I mean we'll forget to do it next week

1:02:38

but... I don't know, people can email

1:02:40

in sunday at radiox.co.uk to remind us to

1:02:42

do it. You know there's someone who can

1:02:44

photoshop together Winkenstein's monster. Oh yes, please. That's

1:02:48

brilliant. But that would be fun. Imagine

1:02:50

if I get the design team

1:02:53

to do it. Yeah. Yeah, get

1:02:55

the... Just send an email saying, can you please... Get

1:02:57

the design team to make it and then what we'll

1:02:59

do is we'll then give that to a... Like a

1:03:01

costume designer. Well, no. I'll tell you what we do.

1:03:03

What? Put it in a 3D printer. Get Winkenstein's monster,

1:03:06

get the full photo, photoshop, send it to Victoria. Yes.

1:03:10

Catfish the catfisher. This is what I look like.

1:03:15

I'll tell you what I look like in about

1:03:17

40 weeks. Yeah. I'm

1:03:20

doing a bit of work on myself at the moment. Well, I think we

1:03:22

do just a close shot. Like,

1:03:25

shoulders, head. Yeah.

1:03:28

So you've got Kano's beard. We've got Kano's

1:03:30

beard and your man's shoulders. Am I

1:03:32

allowed to duplicate? Because I do like Kano's eyes as

1:03:34

well. No, no, no. Your lips as

1:03:36

well. It's gotta be your lips. Yeah. Let's go

1:03:38

further afield, okay? You've got to pick one item

1:03:40

per person. Okay, alright. Are you happy with Kano's

1:03:43

beard? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's going in. Kano's beard.

1:03:45

Kano's beard and my lips. I'm up for that

1:03:47

as well. Yeah. Of course. And

1:03:49

who... What's your man's name? Jasprit Brumra.

1:03:51

Jasprit Brumra. His shoulders.

1:03:54

And his action. But that's a bit more nebulous. Yeah,

1:03:56

yeah. You can't really put that in a photo. Yeah, but

1:03:58

his shoulders definitely. In the action. specifically in the

1:04:00

India with the epaulettes as well yeah I mean you

1:04:02

can do some more now if that's quicker who's

1:04:05

eyes do you want? Cano is the one who

1:04:07

came to mind so you can't have canos eyes

1:04:09

as well. Can't you be cano dressed in a

1:04:12

cricket outfit? We can't understand that. Shall I put

1:04:14

Killian Murphy as a placeholder for eyes?

1:04:16

Yeah but I might change I probably will change that well

1:04:18

you've got I was trying to get through it a bit

1:04:20

quicker you've got till you've got till Tuesday to think of

1:04:22

yeah have a bit more of a think about it because

1:04:24

this is important stuff I'm not going to rush it you

1:04:27

don't want to rush these things no okay

1:04:29

really we need nose eyebrows

1:04:32

yeah I mean any cheeks

1:04:34

ears if you've got particular ears uh

1:04:37

what's the top of the head doing what's the forehead

1:04:39

doing what is there a is there hair exactly is

1:04:41

there gonna be a hat yeah is there gonna be

1:04:43

a hat is it gonna be jewelry goldstein's eyebrows could

1:04:46

it be very close to his eyebrows yeah good

1:04:49

strong eyebrows very much in the kind of

1:04:51

uh daniel levy kind of uh you know

1:04:53

thick robust eyebrows

1:04:56

eyebrows that you'd

1:04:58

need a brush for yeah they're not comb

1:05:00

eyebrows no way brush eyebrow you want to

1:05:02

want one of those those like the kind

1:05:04

of brush that you would brush your horse's

1:05:06

hooves with the big those big thick brushes

1:05:09

yeah yeah anyway this

1:05:11

is all good stuff it's all it's all

1:05:13

it's all grist to the dr vincenstine mill

1:05:16

um sometimes a

1:05:19

sentence you just gotta go long enough until it

1:05:21

gets weird who's who's got this far now yeah

1:05:25

who i mean i don't next tuesday

1:05:28

we're gonna do a pre-record you're gonna say how

1:05:31

we doing with dr vincenstines monster and i'm

1:05:33

gonna go what are you talking about here

1:05:35

um the uh the other

1:05:38

thing is do we need a topic for next week

1:05:40

i don't because we have a guest we have at

1:05:42

least one guest great i think we'll be fine without

1:05:44

yeah yeah because everything's always in

1:05:47

play of course if people want to send in

1:05:49

stories about debenham if people want to send in

1:05:51

debenham denim what we denim of course forget we

1:05:53

didn't get any dead we got zero you know

1:05:55

what actually we didn't really pun we didn't we

1:05:57

didn't work hard on denim no we didn't work

1:06:00

hard but you know what denim... Which denim

1:06:02

can be worked hard on. You can absolutely.

1:06:04

That's one of the bonuses of the textile.

1:06:06

It's a work fabric isn't it? It's durable.

1:06:08

Exactly yeah. Textile texter. The textile

1:06:10

texter. Denim. Sunday at radiox.co.uk get

1:06:13

in touch with your denim-dotes. Denim-ic-dotes.

1:06:16

Yeah that's a good word. We'll throw that out there.

1:06:18

Yeah yeah. Lovely. Alright we'll see you next Sunday. Bye!