0:02

This is a global player

0:04

Original Podcast. A

0:06

candle and Mackey. Cause they really your

0:09

bags. Hello Everybody Welcome to the Podcast

0:11

The A Gambler Matthew Crosby radio show

0:13

that we do on the radio on

0:15

Radio X and this is the podcast

0:17

version of that show. Welcome Aboard Welcome

0:20

aboard to you Matthew How you doing

0:22

That has ago and pretty good man.

0:24

I'm alright. Yeah we those tools started

0:26

to was underway. Yeah everything changes when

0:28

you're when you're until Oh my goodness

0:30

you actually have to. Like.

0:33

Work it's go to work isn't it is

0:35

travel the troubles the hardest bet, even though

0:37

you know someone else is driving make Cetera.

0:41

It for me the hardest bit of go

0:43

back into touring is. I've. Had a

0:45

nice few months where there's been gigs sure,

0:47

yeah, but mainly been at home. So.

0:50

Not gonna lovely home a lot of time. A.

0:52

Lot of times I've been winding down having

0:54

a dinner. Gonna. Bed Yeah and

0:56

now I need to wind up at eight

0:58

pm that say your whole body clock has

1:01

to change. It's get my whole shadows changed.

1:03

Yeah I would like here. If it gets

1:05

to have a a thirty you're thinking well

1:07

I'll shut up finishing my T J watch

1:09

it a couple of episodes of some sort.

1:11

try out a seashell I had like a

1:13

big slug exactly whereas know you've got to

1:15

be turning on the Us is for this

1:17

is why you started taking speed. Yes yeah

1:19

yeah that's why I'm an absolute cracker Us

1:22

pretty that he you're one of these junkies

1:24

we hear. So my last. Rae I'm

1:26

proud Very it's A it's A.you look fantastic. Thank

1:28

you very much. Yeah, I feel growth is that

1:30

wonderful. I feel there is what I plan on.

1:32

Some crack. Oh, so that's why. Yeah, Absolutely out.

1:35

Can we ask that you don't spike in the

1:37

studio? because we get a lot of time trying

1:39

to cut down on my crack? Yeah I I

1:41

ke you're getting second hand Cracker is that lot

1:43

of passive crack in here, app in your eye,

1:46

a and anywhere. Yet we're in the were in

1:48

the little studio again. Very. Exciting tomorrow

1:50

and we do but we're going to your

1:52

prerecord tomorrow. we get go to the the

1:54

new desk to the big studio, back to

1:56

the big studio for the big boy my

1:59

head I'd either. if this is true Vin that

2:01

they've installed a big fish tank and there's a

2:03

there's a sexy model lying in it. Is

2:06

that true? Yeah, but she

2:08

is dead though. Oh

2:11

my god and I thought the Ed's a crack addict

2:14

thing was bleak enough. Now you've got

2:16

dead model floating in swimming pool. I

2:18

didn't say floating. Okay,

2:20

you've got dead model

2:23

in water. Anyway yes

2:25

very excited to see that but I mean

2:29

there's the studio not the dead

2:31

model. I can't qualify that enough

2:33

I'm not excited to see dead

2:35

people. Yeah, anyway

2:38

listen it's a true skill of

2:40

a producer to be able to

2:42

grind a show. Yeah, to an

2:45

absolute halt. To throw his presenters

2:47

to the point where they can't

2:49

speak. It doesn't

2:52

take much with me but he's done it. Come

2:54

on Matty. Anyway a couple of who

2:57

do I not know what they is or who they

2:59

is even. This is from Gareth. Who

3:01

do I not know he they is is what

3:04

Gareth's written here. Chadding

3:06

Tatum. Really? Now I

3:08

find this mad. Yeah, come on. You know if

3:10

it's like Derek Nimmo or someone who's you know

3:12

you very rarely see on the television anymore then

3:15

fair enough. Well there you go you got me I don't know who

3:17

that is. Well Chadding Tatum a current

3:20

proposition I would say. Yeah. Now

3:22

this is gonna this is gonna blow your mind. Defo

3:24

a girl probably a girl band. What?

3:28

Chadding Tatum a girl band. By the way

3:30

Chadding Tatum for a girl band is a

3:32

great name. Yeah, yeah. I mean I know you kind of

3:34

get yourself in trouble. Yeah, you get yourself mixed up. Calling

3:36

a band up somebody already exists but Chadding Tatum is a

3:38

great name for a girl band. What

3:41

do I not know what it is? Goodwill Hunting. Never

3:44

saw it written down assumed it was

3:46

a feel good movie about hunting for

3:48

goodwill. Well, I'm sorry. Sure, still not

3:50

seen. Love you Gareth. Yeah. Thank you

3:52

Gareth. Keep those coming in sunday at

3:55

radiox.co.uk. Have you got any you wanted

3:57

to read? Uh no. No, Fair

3:59

enough.. I'm in which case you know if

4:01

is other ones that you think we should read up. I'm

4:04

not really interesting that Asus has to say night

4:06

as that fair enough some of us soil and

4:08

we do with it is on on Pyrrhic more

4:10

as well clinical have an email to the smartest

4:12

a very good point it's a roll over there

4:15

us if we have got in touch with us

4:17

yeah and then as a very good chance you

4:19

hear on next week's episode another one those reading

4:21

the relating to things I don't remember saying that

4:23

every yeah I know by on the horses some

4:25

got what do I not know what to his

4:28

medicine. Well yeah I saw a

4:30

new what it was but then I'd gamble said the

4:32

pain killers would deal with a broken finger and are

4:34

my understanding is completely time when I was last week

4:36

Now that remember when talking about where does the how

4:39

to pay know as I had is a pain medication

4:41

know which pain to deal with yes and use it

4:43

if he's hurt you had a your surprising thing gay

4:45

would deal with by now I think that been a

4:48

bit facetious hit him I say I was fixing those

4:50

weeks ago he that would deal with the pain american

4:52

finger which it will. Say. You

4:54

are. Very. Cheeky from Tim there

4:56

are no he sees preying on the thought

4:58

the i have the memories ago says that

5:01

remember anything now and again cause got in

5:03

touch to say at mathew as day with

5:05

his anti induction hop propaganda. Right now he

5:07

doesn't need special pans do any medium or

5:10

good quality panel work models not true as

5:12

an entree nice special palm we need to

5:14

pounds with a myth metallic bottom know. So.

5:17

Then I guess that is a special I

5:19

guess he thought is that the past behind

5:21

us or the using on your gas hub

5:23

state are worth the may yet on your

5:25

eyes on his mug to put up with

5:27

any. Special

5:29

pants to just eat Metal bottoms. you might

5:31

need to buy new pounds for the induction,

5:34

Hope so. but yeah, yes that's that's to

5:36

you might need to add. Some of your

5:38

pants might be rendered useless, but only the

5:40

radio that nz crappy ones anyway. Ah, but

5:42

thank thank you to alias more more emails.

5:45

Very very minor point that we made. Some

5:48

come up athletics resent the sites

5:50

are. But for now here's this

5:52

week's episode. Enjoy both scandal and

5:54

cause Day. That

6:00

is Kate Middleton speaking. Of

6:04

a behind us. I

6:08

have. Please refer

6:10

to successfully employees. Matthew A Sorry

6:12

Catherine all side Isis the Vid

6:14

ninety two of my microphone on

6:16

one I'd start to speak or

6:18

as and us all the other

6:20

diseases yourself once again to answer

6:22

all starts again. Good. Morning

6:24

listeners of Radio acts. It's Kate Middleton

6:27

speaking, got it? I have chosen right?

6:29

He likes to address the nation for

6:31

a couple of reasons. Firstly, I love

6:33

into bangers from the likes of Ocean

6:36

Collison and Royal Blood although in our

6:38

house we call them common a blog

6:40

have assisted. Secondly, the people I need

6:42

to get my message to other conspiracy

6:45

theorists, The Loan As and the In

6:47

Cells. The Web as as

6:49

brought my my sense of purpose. The

6:51

Nomad Gambler Matthew Crosby radio show at

6:53

and Matthew Other Pied Pipers of Salads,

6:55

Welling Virgins and Professor how's about your

6:58

put down your buckets of breakfast taken

7:00

and listen up to me sure at

7:02

him as you may not have the

7:04

best show on the station but like

7:06

many homage to Dj they like to

7:08

experiment with quality. But

7:11

here this therapy many theories about

7:13

my whereabouts in the last few

7:15

months. Apparently I'm in a coma.

7:17

I am dead. I'm recovering from plastic

7:19

surgery I am stuck down a well the

7:21

list goes on earth. In reality I have

7:24

left the house in months because I've been

7:26

catching up with all of added my part

7:28

of our such as the Lucky My Way

7:30

To Supremacy option site of and You May

7:33

I be working my way through from

7:35

episode one right through to the present day

7:37

and I must say by episode One hundred

7:39

seventy eight they really seem to be getting

7:42

the hang of it. Then they lose it

7:44

again before during a very competent episode A

7:46

then it goes again, but it's addictive. I

7:49

love their speeches and guess and chat on the

7:51

chance at its best. Reminds me of the sorts

7:53

of things Philip would say tools. But.

7:57

what i'm saying is please stop saying

7:59

i'm dead I am in a

8:01

much worse situation than that. I am

8:03

an Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby listener. Please

8:06

don't spread rumours about people. My

8:08

advice would be stick to what you know. Oh, will

8:10

that do Terry? Yeah, that should fool him. It's a

8:13

brilliant brush on it. Radio

8:15

X. Radio

8:19

X. S.W.

8:21

and the Chicago Game. What

8:23

an intro. Well, mind-blowing, right?

8:26

Absolutely. It's a thing I've been thinking about a

8:28

lot, obviously, this week. Of course, because you love

8:30

conspiracy theories. Love a bit of conspiracy theories. Yeah,

8:32

I was just telling you that I've been looking

8:35

at TikTok and apparently

8:37

there's a theory that the clothes she was

8:39

wearing in like November of 2023, they

8:42

just like, they sort of slightly changed the colour

8:44

of them in Photoshop. And that's, so that photo

8:46

is from November of 2023. I

8:48

mean, this is Kate Middleton, that's what we're talking about. We'll talk

8:50

about Kate Middleton, of course we are. Now,

8:53

I would say, Matthew, that if there was

8:55

a conspiracy theory about you, they'd have an

8:57

amazing time. But the top

9:00

he's wearing in November of 2023 is

9:02

exactly the same as the top he's wearing that day,

9:04

actually, and every other day. Every other day. And

9:07

that's slightly colour change, but I think that's some

9:09

damage because he's not taking it off, ever. What

9:12

you have to go very forensic on me, you'd have

9:14

to go for the level of stainage. Yes. That's what

9:16

you have to do. It's sort of like more and

9:18

more that the clothes start to look like a kind

9:20

of Jackson Pollock. Various

9:23

things from me, obviously various bodily

9:26

fluids from me, I'm not going to, you know. Don't beat around

9:28

the bush. No, it's not a bit well, that's not the problem.

9:31

And then also from my kids,

9:34

the cat, and I also ride

9:37

the bus quite a lot as well. So various

9:39

other strangers. Cats, man. I mean, I don't think

9:41

my white cat is now not worth it because

9:43

I'm wearing black clothes on stage. I'm on tour

9:45

at the moment, my tour started. I

9:48

spend, I'd say, the first 10 minutes, but

9:50

when I arrive at the venue with a lint

9:53

roller, and I've got

9:55

like a brushy one and a sticky one. And

9:57

I go over the whole thing. I was wearing a full black outfit last

9:59

night. night in Cambridge, went over everything,

10:01

looked at myself, was like fantastic, right,

10:03

it's all gone, brilliant. Went on stage,

10:05

first joke, I moved my arm, I

10:07

can just see a hair floating.

10:10

Just this white cat hair. You're

10:12

shedding, you're molting. I'm shedding cat hair on

10:14

stage. What you need to do is get

10:17

an outfit that is made predominantly of faux

10:19

cat hair. Do you not think that would

10:21

be? I dress as a cat. I think dress as a cat.

10:23

But you know. It's the only thing I could

10:25

do, I'll have to dress as a big white cat through my show.

10:27

Dress as a big white cat, exactly. Because also

10:29

as well, a great untapped market is

10:31

the furry community. So if you could

10:33

become, you know, you've already got the diabetic

10:36

comedian. That's fine. You've cornered

10:38

that market. But furries,

10:41

you know, they've got the disposable

10:43

income. They want entertainment. So these

10:45

are the two biggest audiences of

10:47

comedians you get, diabetics and furries.

10:50

Absolutely. You've got to think about who

10:52

are your big, because gone in the days of just people

10:54

going to comedy shows. Good entertainment

10:56

now is so streamlined. They need to go like,

10:58

I need to see what kind

11:00

of comedy you're looking for. I'm looking for

11:02

a diabetic furry. Who represents me exactly? Exactly.

11:04

Who's going to hold a mirror directly up

11:07

to me? And that's what you've got to

11:09

do. Diabetic furries. The diabetic furry.

11:11

How's the tour going, by the way? Are you

11:13

enjoying yourself? I am. Yeah. I

11:16

mean, it's only just started this week and it's been a good week of

11:18

being able to go to a gig and then come home the same night.

11:20

It's Hot Diggity Dog, by the way, is the name of the tour. Hot

11:22

Diggity Dog is the name of my tour. Hot Diggity Dog, but he dresses

11:24

like a cat. Don't be confused by that. Yes. Come

11:27

along to any of the future shows. I'll be dressed as a big white cat. But

11:31

then, yeah, next week I'm away a lot. So

11:33

I'm away for about six nights. So that's when

11:35

it's going to start getting a little tricky. It's

11:37

going to feel really like tour. You're going to

11:39

start missing home. You're going to start missing your

11:41

cat. Yeah. But the problem is

11:43

when I go away on tour, I go like, right, I'm not

11:45

going to have a drink after a show

11:47

because I can't hack it now. Yeah. But

11:50

then you finish a show and you're in a hotel. You're in a lovely class of red,

11:52

white, and... You're like, what else do I do? Yeah. You

11:54

finish the show. It's nine o'clock at night. What

11:56

are you supposed to do? Go to bed. It's just

11:58

going to sit in a room. Watch the

12:00

television with nothing in your hand. No, thank

12:02

you. I mean, you know what I mean.

12:07

Matthew Crosby and Edward

12:09

Radio X. This

12:11

week, I could tell you that talking

12:14

about clothes, my clothing, this week I

12:16

had a clothing disaster.

12:18

Did you? You had a wardrobe malfunction.

12:20

I had a wardrobe malfunction. So

12:23

I was, I had a meeting with

12:26

a top player. I'm not going to say who

12:28

it is, but a top name. No,

12:30

no, I mean, I'll tell you off air, which by the

12:33

way, it's the most frustrating thing anyone can say to my

12:35

face. I'll tell you off air. But

12:37

it was about John Cleese. It wasn't Cleese.

12:39

No, I'd love to. I'd love

12:41

to meet Cleese. I think we've got a

12:43

lot to share, opinion wise, but it was,

12:45

it was, it was, it was a top,

12:47

it was a top light of the entertainment

12:49

firmament. Right. It was not.

12:51

No, no, I've got madness for you about

12:53

more. Anyway, it was not. Anyway,

12:56

listen, it wasn't Les Dorsett. I'm

12:59

close. I'm close. No, well,

13:01

no, look, anyway, I had a meeting. I

13:03

had a meeting. It wasn't any of it.

13:05

It wasn't any of it. It wasn't Dennis.

13:07

It wasn't Dennis. I'd love to meet Dennis

13:09

the Menace. I wouldn't. I wouldn't.

13:11

So naughty. No, he'd see me as a waltz in

13:14

the softy figure and he'd kick me up the seat.

13:16

Oh, absolutely. He'd kick you right up the seat. He'd

13:18

kick you right up the seat. There'd be a pea shooter

13:20

right to the schnoz, I think. Absolutely. I

13:22

would just be stopping to, to smell a flower.

13:24

Yeah. He'd just shoot me right up

13:26

the keetah. It's amazing how easy it is to distract Matty

13:28

if we really decide what they do. It

13:32

took a few names. By

13:35

the way, every single name I wanted to

13:37

talk about. Well, thank you Les Dawson. Oh

13:39

my God. It took every fiber in

13:41

my being not to start talking about Les Dawson. But

13:43

Dennis the Menace is the one that got you. Dennis

13:45

broke me. But, you know, it was,

13:47

it was a sustained attack. That was the problem.

13:49

There were so many names coming out of here.

13:51

One of them was, it was death by a

13:53

thousand cuts. I had

13:56

this meeting. It was a big meeting. whether

14:00

or not I was going to work with this person, they wanted to

14:02

meet me out to go to a studio and meet with this person.

14:04

It's very, very exciting to meet this person. Anyway,

14:07

the morning of I'm recording my

14:09

other podcast, Pappy's Flat Share in

14:11

my house and I've got a

14:14

coffee on and I managed to spill

14:16

it all over my crotch during the recording.

14:18

Of course. So, and I'm wearing my stonewashed

14:21

blue jeans. It's

14:23

not something I can kind of get around.

14:25

And I go, it's fine. It doesn't matter.

14:27

I'll wear my dark blue jeans on the

14:30

stairs and change. I wear my other trousers.

14:32

I wear my other trousers, exactly. I

14:34

went upstairs and I couldn't find my dark blue

14:36

jeans and I found them in a bag in

14:38

the back of the wardrobe. But I remembered, oh

14:40

yeah, I'd absolutely split them dollars

14:42

to donuts. So the entire crotch has

14:44

just completely come out of my dark

14:46

blue jeans. So I was like, it

14:48

doesn't matter. What's the thought when you

14:50

tear the crotch dollars to donuts? Yeah.

14:53

I'm not afraid by the way, that I've never heard before. What's

14:57

the thinking behind pop them in a bag

14:59

sticking at the back of the wardrobe? The

15:02

idea is I pop

15:04

them in a bag and I think, well,

15:07

one day I'll take them to the dry

15:09

cleaners that also tailor clothes and have them

15:11

patched up. Yeah. Because you know, you've

15:13

got to, you know, in this climate, you've got to make

15:15

do and mend, you've got to reuse and recycle. It's very

15:17

important. You've got to pop it in the back of a

15:19

wardrobe. You've got to put it in the back of

15:21

the wardrobe forever and do whatever you put in the bin. But

15:24

the motive is there. Yeah. Anyway.

15:26

So there I go. It doesn't matter. I'll wear my

15:28

black jeans and I go, oh no, I'll put my

15:31

black jeans in the wash this morning. Yeah. So

15:33

I then had to get the black jeans out,

15:35

give them 30 seconds

15:37

in the tumble dryer and have a meeting

15:39

with wet jeans on. Why? For a start,

15:42

why are you washing your jeans? We've

15:45

done this. These

15:47

jeans needed to be washed. That's all I'm going to

15:50

say on the matter. Jeans in the tumble dryer as

15:52

well. I know. I

15:54

imagine a small anyway. They were skin

15:56

tight. You Went for a meeting

15:58

with the top light of the... The Eye

16:00

and say been from him again

16:02

when I read nineteen Sally Wet

16:04

Fights James assessed. As

16:07

far as I know, I think I've got the job. I

16:09

don't know. Yeah, I haven't had, I haven't doing something. You

16:11

had the job And so he stood up and you'd left

16:13

my. Around for

16:15

a big wet bumper it a

16:17

little pool of water and. How

16:20

they were really was excited about my mates

16:22

A D C I a drift over the

16:24

dressing room for aside gamble and equal stay

16:27

radio. If

16:29

we are asking you for your wardrobe

16:31

malfunction or because Matthew I'm basically didn't

16:33

have a good pair of trousers to

16:35

our to an important meeting and had

16:37

to go with a wet a tight

16:39

jeans on pilots. Pretty good actually I

16:41

think this is gonna be a new

16:43

look for me I'm going to carry

16:45

around here like the as it was

16:47

pretty as as you can spray on

16:49

your plans. To houseplants the I think that's

16:52

what I'm going to have in my back

16:54

pocket. Oh so what is it has to

16:56

be requesting much easier. Yeah let's amazing. They

16:58

clung to me a gorgeous Paris eyes he

17:00

they love unlovely package think this is for

17:02

math in Cambridge Boston Pops off my shirt

17:04

on the my first day of a new

17:06

job during lunch know earlier look and had

17:09

seen as a safety pins keep a shirt

17:11

from flop and sorry punk rock I mean

17:13

tearing months as well as your first day.

17:18

At that very beno isn't it varies among

17:20

know that sorry battery kids are my my

17:22

my first day at uni those like a

17:24

big dinner in the whole and we'll have

17:27

to go. we'd not really met anyone yeah

17:29

oh yeah and in a house where say

17:31

that stuff oh yeah you into for she's.

17:34

Under and we'll have to stand up at

17:36

one point I think. Of com

17:38

a boy we had stand up for national

17:40

anthem The Ends Of. The

17:43

hook to stand up is silly affected the

17:45

cook and the guy had just met across

17:47

the sitting across from. he stood up and

17:49

is. one

17:55

thing that bothered with broken on his trousers

17:57

of the bell and east And

18:01

that's when I marked him out as... I

18:03

can't be friends. I can't be

18:05

friends as a man who pants himself on

18:08

the first day. No way. Crunch

18:11

and crumble. Radio X.

18:14

Pretty sleepy at the moment. I'm

18:17

on tour of course, hot diggity dog. Check

18:22

out my website for tickets coming to a show

18:24

in town near you. Tired.

18:27

But you remember a few months ago I did a regular

18:31

gig at Cambridge. Corn

18:33

Exchange. And one of the

18:35

techs working there was in a metal band called

18:37

Torch and the Death Merv, I believe. Oh

18:40

yeah. And we played a bit of them because he gave

18:43

me a CD. Well, I was there on Friday doing

18:45

my tour of Hot Diggity Dog. And

18:47

turns out he's got another band. I

18:49

gave him a CD of them as well. So

18:52

thank you very much for sorting out my

18:55

stuff on Sunday. We're

18:57

going to play a bit of that now. It's

18:59

a good one I've instructed Lynn to take

19:01

a specific bit of the song. The song's

19:03

called Hot Sausage Coma. So

19:06

it works for you, yeah. Yeah. And

19:08

the band is called... Mief

19:10

Conspiracy. Oh

19:26

my... Well, I love that. No

19:29

one was expecting me to listen to

19:31

Pineapple Under The Sea. No one could

19:34

have predicted that. Is that Spongebob? That's

19:36

Spongebob, yes. So there is a... There's like

19:38

a rich theme now because you played a bit of

19:40

Peppa Pig. Peppa

19:49

Pig, yeah. Peppa Pig related metal a

19:51

few weeks ago. So there's a rich theme of

19:53

like kids cartoons. Yeah. A

19:56

horrible grind for the band. Yeah. It's

19:58

because a lot of people in metal bands are stoners. Is that part

20:00

of it? Possibly.

20:03

Anyway, I love that. I thought that was

20:05

absolutely brilliant. You know, I like

20:07

music that keeps you guessing. You

20:10

can't predict it. No. You know,

20:12

you could never tell what was going to happen at any point there.

20:14

Well, he says he's got some other bands as well. So next time

20:16

I go over to the recording studio. Every time you do a gig,

20:18

it's a new band. Radio X.

20:23

Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby. Clothing

20:25

Dezazzo. Clothing Dezazzo. This

20:28

is more than a clothing dezazzo. This

20:32

is just a bad decision. I

20:34

once went on a school trip to Granada Studios

20:36

in my own clothes. When I turned up and

20:38

everyone else was in a uniform, a teacher asked

20:40

me why I wasn't in uniform. I

20:42

put on my best French accent and explained I was

20:45

a foreign exchange student as a joke. She

20:47

completely bought it and the other

20:49

teachers played along. She even sat

20:51

next to me during the cinema part,

20:54

quizzing me about France and what I thought of

20:56

England. When I had her for English the

20:58

following year, she gave me a hard time. She

21:00

is, Rob. Thanks, Rob. That's not...

21:03

I mean, how do you think you're going to get away

21:05

with it? I mean, you did get away with it. Well,

21:07

you clearly sort of did it as a cheeky joke to

21:09

try and get around the fact that he'd

21:11

obviously made a mistake in terms of what you could wear on the school

21:13

trip. But then he had just had

21:15

to follow it. He just had to keep going with it. He's got

21:17

to keep going with it. Be careful what you pretend to be because

21:20

that's what you end up becoming. He's now French full-time, Rob. Le

21:23

Rob. Le Rob as we call it. That's right,

21:25

Le Rob. Why

21:30

is that tickle me so much? Did

21:34

you actually give Matt a caffeinated coffee? I

21:37

think you might have done. I'm having a very good time over here.

21:39

This is from Jane in Folkston. I was walking

21:41

to work and felt something sliding down the inside

21:43

of my trousers. At that point, I go back

21:46

home. Yeah. That's it. That's the end of

21:48

the day for me. I tried to carry on but it became

21:50

annoying. I shook my leg and out flew my knickers from the

21:52

previous day. I quickly

21:54

picked up and scurried. Yeah, picked them up

21:56

and scurried off. Absolutely classic.

21:58

Absolutely. Yeah. It's happened

22:00

to all of us that you think something's...

22:03

You know what? I once saw that happen

22:05

to a performer on stage. No way. Genuinely,

22:07

I went and saw Paul Merton at the

22:09

Edinburgh Fringe Festival and he crossed

22:11

his legs and something sort of fell at the bottom

22:14

of his trousers and he's like, what's that? And

22:17

he pulled them out with a pair of box shorts. And you

22:19

could tell from the way he reacted, this wasn't a bit he

22:21

does every... It wasn't a planned bit. You know, he didn't like

22:23

then pull out, you know, a string of them. He was telling

22:25

me like, oh, yeah, sorry. I'm not... That's a funny bit though.

22:27

It's not a bad bit actually. Pulling out a string of them.

22:29

Still, you know, the tour is brand new. Pulling

22:32

out a string... I'm not sure it would stylistically

22:34

fall out of stuff. That's your

22:36

big clothes. That's my big clothes. Well, I've got to do

22:38

a bit earlier at the beginning of the show about finding

22:40

new pants and new trousers. And

22:42

then at the end I pull out

22:45

an eight metre long string of pants.

22:47

You pair a bit of... Get

22:50

your clothes, pets back onto, grab a

22:52

pair and then eventually what you should

22:54

be is eventually a big pair

22:56

of pants that says thank you and name of town

22:58

you've been in. That's a good bit of business. Right?

23:01

From a different time. That's a good bit

23:03

of business. Brilliant. Yes, please. Ed

23:05

Gamble and Matthew Crosby on Radio

23:08

X. Say

23:11

again. I'm

23:15

playing the Foo Fighters. No,

23:17

that wasn't the Foo Fighters.

23:20

I'll be honest, I can't really read that screen.

23:29

It's a bit blurry. You can hear the

23:31

song, can't you? Oh, come on. You

23:35

know, look, I'm perfectly happy to have the music

23:37

on in the background. I don't know the names

23:39

of it. It's Radio X though. You can take

23:41

a guess. Yeah. It was either that or the

23:43

stereophonics. Anyway, this is sports stuff. Radio

23:45

X. We

23:48

play there, guys. Lacrosse. Leg

23:51

of sports. Kick.

23:56

Can I join in? Fair enough. There we

23:58

go. Oh, shoot. It's sports

24:01

time with our resident experts

24:03

Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby.

24:06

Double goal! That was

24:08

a song there by the Arctic Monkeys. Ed

24:10

Gamble and Matthew Crosby on Radio X and

24:12

now we're doing Sports Desk. Yes indeed. Here

24:14

are the sports headlines. We're going to try

24:16

and make sense of them. Rugby

24:19

Union. Oh! Gatland

24:22

understands North's decision to retire.

24:25

Now this is big news for the compass. This

24:28

is huge news. That North is...

24:31

The never of never eat shredded wheat. Gone.

24:34

Finally. I mean many years at

24:36

the top. Oh absolutely

24:39

right. But now moving

24:41

aside to let the West take over,

24:43

to let the South take over, the

24:46

East barely gets a look in. Or maybe a new

24:48

direction. A new direction. This

24:51

is not a bad idea. We've already got

24:54

a very strong texture in play. But if

24:56

we're going to get rid of North on

24:58

the compass, what are we replacing it with?

25:00

And we can't have East, South or West.

25:02

Or West. Or variations on those

25:05

themes. 83936 on the text,

25:07

at Radio X on the Twitter and of course if you go to

25:09

the Global Player, you can WhatsApp us. What are

25:11

we replacing North on the compass with?

25:13

Get in touch. I'm going to be

25:16

absolutely... I'm absolutely bamboozled if somebody

25:18

responds to that. But anyway. Ready

25:21

to move on? I think we are.

25:23

Next one comes from the wibbly wobbly world of

25:25

Formula One. On. Teenage Bearman

25:28

wants Dream F1 seat in 2025.

25:32

Well good luck fitting in the cars. I mean they're made

25:34

for little humans. Absolutely. Not bear

25:36

men. Obviously

25:39

a bear man pretty big. A teenage

25:41

bear man. Some of them are you

25:43

know like... Yeah long legs. Very very

25:45

long legs. Also the claws are

25:47

going to do absolute havoc to the leather X-80 aren't

25:49

they? You know what teenagers are

25:51

like. Teenage bear men. They're experiencing

25:53

all new feelings. They've got hair in new places.

25:55

It's true. They're listening to Iron Maiden Baby. All

25:57

of that kind of stuff. But

26:01

anyway, I wouldn't let them anywhere. I

26:04

know we're always trying to come up with new

26:06

ways to make Formula One less boring than it

26:08

is, but I think this is a bridge too

26:11

far, popping a bear in one of the seats,

26:13

teen or otherwise. Even one of the

26:15

more relaxed bears like Winnie the Pooh, you can't put him

26:17

in a Formula One car because he's going to go in

26:19

head first and get stuck, his little bottom is going to

26:21

be hanging out. And you don't want Yogi chasing around after

26:23

picking his basket. There's no good

26:25

way to put bears in Formula One, stop

26:27

trying to make it happen. They're

26:29

doing a Formula One race and Winnie the Pooh's bum

26:32

hanging out. Yeah, bum hanging out, he's going round at full

26:34

speed. Little legs going over his hands. Oh

26:36

wow. That'd be good. Go

26:38

on, please. Do you think so?

26:41

You're telling me you don't want to see that. In

26:43

many ways, I guess Red Bull has

26:46

the same sort of smell as, like

26:48

honey, it's got very sweet, very sweet

26:50

smell. So you could see why the

26:52

mistake happened here. He thinks

26:54

it's like the heffa-lump tree full of honey pots, but

26:57

no, it's actually, it's a Red Bull

26:59

car full of Red Bull. They aren't presumably, they run

27:01

on Red Bull, Red Bull cars, don't they? Yeah, you

27:03

pour Red Bull in. Pour Red Bull in and off

27:05

they go. Brum, brum, brum. Anyway, he's boxing, yeah. Boxing,

27:07

bong. Featherweight

27:09

Gallagher, I'm going to be an

27:11

Olympian. I knew there was another one out there.

27:14

You know what? Just when we thought we had

27:16

enough of the Gallagher brothers, well not enough of

27:18

the guy, we had enough Gallagher brothers, they're bringing

27:20

another one. We know we've got Liam, obviously he's

27:22

on tour with John Spire at the moment, they're

27:24

not playing any stone roses, they are playing the

27:26

stones. We've got Noel, the mighty eye himself. We've

27:28

got Paul, he's the other one. And now, you

27:30

barely notice this one. Well,

27:33

because he's featherweight. He flutters down. Featherweight

27:35

Gallagher. That's right. I mean,

27:38

talking of featherweight Gallagher, you've

27:40

got Noel talking about high-flying birds. It's

27:42

featherweight Gallagher who knows about that. He knows all

27:44

about it. He starts

27:46

every gig on a high shelf.

27:49

Yeah. And he jumps down and

27:51

slowly. Slowly flutters to the ground. Yeah, it's amazing. The

27:54

band starts playing. He's

27:56

fluttering down. The second he hits the stage is when he has

27:58

to sing a song. his first life.

28:00

He times it right every single time and

28:02

for that reason he's gonna be an Olympian.

28:05

Good luck to the lads. Robbie

28:07

J and the Machine. Radio

28:09

X. This is from Matt

28:11

in Brighton. Good morning Ghost Jazz and Kraken.

28:13

Morning Matt. Aged 14 I

28:16

was invited to a fancy dress party.

28:18

I constructed a costume of a Roman

28:20

legionary bracket. I was cool. When

28:22

I got to the party everyone else had

28:24

understood fancy dress to mean wear your best

28:26

cool clothes. I

28:29

still think about this once a month. That's your

28:31

Roman Empire. Do you think about

28:33

it all the time? That's a rich interpretation

28:35

of fancy dress again. Oh I'm gonna wear a

28:38

fancy dress. Did it say dress fancy?

28:40

And he just flipped it round? Maybe. Oh Matt in

28:42

Brighton you've done the flipperoo. You

28:45

can't be hot with a classic flipperoo. I like

28:47

this one from Ashley in Dorking. Not

28:49

sure if this is a disaster but I end up tearing

28:51

my meniscus and need an operation as a result of getting

28:53

socks out of the drawer. We've

28:55

done pathetic injuries before I believe. That's

28:58

more of a pathetic injury. It really

29:00

is. This is a great one.

29:02

This is from Kirsty. I wore

29:04

a Wonder Years hoodie. Wonder Years are of course a

29:06

band. Not the TV show from the 80s with Fred

29:08

Savage which I absolutely love. You're the only person who

29:11

would think it's that. Wonder Years are a band. I

29:13

wore a Wonder Years hoodie, get ready Matthew, to

29:16

a wake last month. Now, okay.

29:18

Kirsty's also said brackets very informal

29:20

wake. Right, okay yeah

29:22

sure. Sometimes people

29:24

want nothing to be chill and relaxed and

29:26

absolutely fine. So Kirsty went with a Wonder

29:28

Years hoodie which is fine. That's very informal.

29:31

The problem is it said I just

29:33

want to sell out my funeral on the front. Oh.

29:36

Two on the nose. Also

29:39

we had been told to wear bright colours to

29:41

the funeral so I wore bright yellow dungarees. The

29:43

dress code had been changed a while ago and

29:45

everyone else was in black dresses. Oh

29:48

no. Double Dizazzo says Kirsty. Oh

29:51

boy. White Pressies. Bright yellow dungarees. You know Wonder Years

29:53

hoodie that said I just want to sell out my

29:55

funeral. Everyone else is wearing black dresses.

29:57

I don't want to, you know like, what's the... the

30:00

route that gets you to changing the dress

30:03

code of Awake, right? Presumably their wishes haven't

30:05

changed. No. Well, unless

30:07

their dying wish was... HAHAHA

30:11

Actually, no, I want a traditional one. HAHAHA

30:13

Their final words are upjaded for mine! Don't

30:15

tell Kirsty! 83936

30:18

on the text, at Radio X on the Twitter. Please do

30:20

get in touch. Also as well, if you go to

30:23

the global player, you can WhatsApp us. A lot of

30:25

people are doing it, you know. A lot of people

30:27

WhatsApp you know. You can do a voice note on

30:29

the WhatsApp. Yeah, we've had one of those. Yes. HAHAHA

30:32

Do it, yeah, you can do a voice note, but you

30:34

know. Yeah. Don't just go... ...morning.

30:36

HAHAHA Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby.

30:39

Radio X. Supersonic

30:44

Oasis, here on Radio X, it's

30:46

Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby. And

30:48

if there's one thing I know

30:50

about Supersonic, last year it came

30:53

34th in Radio X's

30:55

Best of British. Best

30:57

of British. Radio X. It's

31:00

just me, Ed. Yes,

31:02

Best of British, where we pick

31:05

our favourite British track. You get to

31:07

pick your favourite British track of all

31:09

time by voting on the

31:11

global player. Now, there's a

31:13

little clue in the background. This is what we're

31:16

pitching as Best of British this year. Absolutely right.

31:18

This is our favourite British song of all time.

31:20

It's Beyonce's Texas Hold'em. Yes. We'd love you to

31:22

vote for that. We can't influence your vote. We

31:24

can merely suggest. We can merely suggest that we

31:27

think, if you are a listener to the Ed

31:29

Gamble and Matthew Crosby show, come

31:31

with us. Show a bit of willing. Beyonce's Texas

31:33

Hold'em is the best British track of all time.

31:35

Now, obviously you get three votes. If you go

31:37

to Radio X, dot code it UK, or the

31:39

global player to vote, you get three votes. And

31:41

you can vote for the same thing. You can

31:43

vote for this three times. No, you can't. You

31:46

can't vote for the same thing three times. Alright,

31:48

so number one, we're talking Texas Hold'em. That's what

31:50

we'd like to see. Sure, okay. Number two, that

31:52

one to the left to the left. No, no,

31:54

no. That's irreplaceable. That's not

31:56

what we just got there. And

31:58

then, okay, mix up a little. bit. Gangnam

32:00

Style. Oh yeah absolutely. We discussed

32:02

taking a different angle for this

32:07

feature didn't we? Okay we did discuss that yes

32:09

yes yes. Now listen here's what Vinn would like

32:11

you to do. Yes. If you absolutely have to

32:13

vote for Texas Hold'em. If you're a dweeb and

32:16

a company man yeah obviously Texas Hold'em's number

32:18

one. That's locked in. Sure that's a given.

32:21

Fire. Yes. Yeah and then he would like

32:23

you to vote for some other top British

32:25

actors. Yeah from Britain that we play We're

32:28

talking about people like David Bowie. We're

32:30

talking about the Rolling Stones. We're talking

32:32

about the Arctic Monkeys. The Stone Roses.

32:34

The Oasis I'm sure. Oasis. Somebody said

32:36

Beyonce guys really? Yes really. Yes really

32:38

Beyonce. The greatest artist that this country

32:40

has ever produced. This nation has ever

32:42

produced. This world. This world has ever

32:45

produced. She's a global superstar. Yeah but

32:47

this is about best of British. Yeah

32:49

yeah and she is the best of

32:51

British. She's homegrown talent That's what that's

32:53

what I love about her. When I

32:55

think of Britain I think of Beatles,

32:57

the Beach Boys and Beyonce. The three

32:59

B's. Yeah and Psy. And of course

33:01

Psy. Of course if you're going

33:03

to vote do it in a Gangnam style. That's all we

33:05

ask. So get yourself over to the global over

33:07

to the global play I don't know if

33:09

that's okay. Go over to the global play

33:11

app. The official Radio X app or go

33:13

to radiox.co.uk and don't forget to listen on

33:15

Easter Monday when they'll be counting down the

33:18

100 favourite British Beyonce songs of

33:20

all time. The

33:25

best of British. Radio X.

33:29

Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby. A

33:31

lot of questions in about best of British.

33:33

Yes. Matt and Brighton got in

33:36

contact to say hello Crutch and Dumbbell.

33:38

Just to clarify can I vote for

33:40

deceased Hawaiian ukulele playing Israel kamikawiwo'ole for

33:42

best of British? Absolutely you can Matthew.

33:44

Get yourself over to the global player

33:46

or to radiox.co.uk. That's

33:48

all we care about really. And someone sent their picks

33:50

in. Another Matthew. Matthew Wood. Yes. How are my picks?

33:52

He says how are my picks. I like how confident

33:54

British acts are. They're not afraid to reference other countries.

33:58

One Texas Holden by Beyonce. Is it

34:00

correct? Correct. Two, Surfin'

34:02

USA by the Beach Boys. God save the Queen. And

34:05

finally three, Californication by the Red Hot Chili Peppers, Best

34:07

of British, yes. I can't wait to hear all three

34:09

of those. They probably will be the top three on

34:11

Monday. We don't want to do spoilers for that. It

34:13

will be the top three on Monday. I can't. Maybe

34:15

Red Hot Chili's and Surfin' USA, right, just

34:17

put those over. Flip those two. Flip those

34:19

two. Flip those two. Definitely got

34:21

that number one spot. Anyway, it's a good

34:23

radio show on a good radio station and

34:25

another good radio show on this radio station

34:27

is of course the 47th thing, which Johnny

34:29

Bourne likes to do, where he

34:31

lists his 47 favorite things of each day. And

34:34

now Johnny has recorded us a little message

34:38

and an idea for a textor, I believe. So we'd

34:40

love to hear that. Johnny, what have you got? Morning,

34:42

Ed. Morning, Matthew. Happy Sunday. Johnny

34:44

Bourne here. Hey, during our Friday show, we

34:47

were right in the middle of a fantastic

34:49

texting. But unfortunately, we had

34:51

an emergency request from a listener to

34:54

come up with a good name for a radio

34:56

X related function band. So we had to cut

34:58

short the text in that was running. The

35:00

cotailed texting was one I

35:03

think you'd enjoy and could

35:05

do justice to in your

35:07

magnificent Sunday slot, a religiously

35:10

big slot. Following

35:12

the use by American police of

35:14

houses in a very wealthy area

35:16

as bait houses, houses designed to

35:18

attract burglars. I just wondered what

35:20

our listeners would use as bait

35:22

to attract themselves. Why

35:24

can't you resist? Ed, what

35:27

would be in a gamble trap? Matthew, what

35:29

would be in my Crosby snare? This

35:32

is really good. This

35:34

is so obvious and

35:37

clear when a professional does something on this

35:40

show. Oh, yeah. Anytime we

35:42

get a recorded message from Johnny, we've had

35:44

one from Toby. He goes, these are people

35:46

who know how to speak coherently into a

35:48

microphone. He's really good. He's

35:51

really, really good. He's Johnny. Sorry,

35:53

just to interrupt that, James Warwick got in

35:55

contact with his best of British. He

35:58

sent his votes in Texas. Golden by

36:00

Beyonce, number one. Number two, American

36:02

Pie by Blink-182. Number

36:04

three, American Idiot by Green Day. Thanks very much

36:07

for that. They're all for the best of British

36:09

now. Let's save the Queen. Let's try it and

36:11

focus, if we can, on Johnny's message. Because this

36:13

is- You're speaking in the same rhythms as Johnny.

36:15

I'm trying my best to, yeah. I'm

36:17

trying to keep that momentum going. We've got a

36:19

little bit of Johnny magic sprinkled over the show,

36:22

so I'm trying to keep that going. Death is

36:24

radio X. Head, eagle, and mighty blue sea. Oh.

36:32

And all

36:36

the things that you do.

36:40

Coldplay, Yellow here on radio X. Vin, do you

36:42

know the story of how that song came to

36:44

be written? Go on. He was

36:46

doing a parody to make the other members

36:49

of Coldplay laugh of Neil Young. And

36:51

he just started playing, Look at the

36:53

stars. Oh, wow. Look how they shine for

36:55

you. And just to make them laugh. And they were like,

36:57

that's actually a good song. You should record that. And it

36:59

became like their sort of breakthrough hit. Well, Neil Young is

37:01

good. Neil Young is good, but he was doing it sort

37:03

of like, wouldn't it be funny if he was singing a

37:06

song about the stars being yellow? What a cheeky guy. Well,

37:08

I'll tell you now that actually fits with the text that

37:10

we're talking about here, which is Johnny's text. If you had

37:12

to, what would it take to make you burgle a

37:15

house, basically? What would be in this house? What would

37:17

be a U-trap? What would be a U-trap? And I

37:19

think for me, it would be telling a boring anecdote.

37:22

If there was someone in the house, it was like, Come

37:25

in here, I'd love to hear a boring story. They were in

37:27

a band in the 70s or 80s. Oh,

37:29

Mike, you know, or even better, they were

37:31

a studio engineer producing an album in the

37:33

70s that no one's heard of apart from

37:35

you. Absolutely. And they've got a lot of

37:37

tales from that day. If someone wanted to

37:39

tell me the story of how relatively clean

37:42

Rivers came to be, then I would be

37:44

delighted. I would bite your hand off for

37:46

that sort of thing. So, yeah, so some

37:48

sort of boring anecdote about the

37:50

past. That would be me. Thank you very

37:52

much. Absolutely go in there. What would you what would you have

37:54

to see inside a house? If you if

37:56

you wanted to be your bait house. Thank

37:58

you, Glenn. Is that it?

38:00

80 grand. 80 grand? Just sitting there. 80

38:03

grand cash on the table. Maybe

38:06

like a nice

38:08

steak or something. A

38:11

little cat I could give a stroke to. A

38:13

cat, a steak, 80 grand

38:16

cash. It's pretty good actually. We've

38:19

got a lot coming in here of what people

38:21

would... I mean cheese, James says cheese. I kind

38:23

of agree with that as well. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

38:25

And a really, really good cheese board. Yeah, a

38:28

good old spread. Yeah. Not

38:30

cheese spread, obviously, not Derry Lake. Yeah, well,

38:32

that's also nice as well. I mean, La

38:34

Rob's got back in contact. Bonjour,

38:36

La Rob. Bonjour, La Rob. I reckon if I

38:38

walk past the house with the door open, but

38:41

looking empty and the smell of bacon, I could

38:43

nip in for a quick butty. Yeah. So he's

38:45

gone with the door open, so he's sort of

38:47

changed the game a little bit. He's trespassing rather

38:49

than burgling. He's not breaking and entering. Yeah, yeah,

38:51

yeah. He's just opening a door and nicking the

38:53

bacon that's in place. Still a... The

38:56

smell of a bacon sandwich. Absolutely beautiful. That

38:58

could do me as well, actually. In

39:00

fact, I think I'm a burglar. That's

39:04

all it took. That's all it took.

39:06

Some of them are a bit seedy, people have

39:08

got in contact with me. Yeah, I think Matt

39:10

in Brighton. Yeah. You know, I think let's

39:13

not say people, shall we? Yeah. You should just say,

39:15

let's not say people. I mean, also, I'm sure she's

39:17

a lovely woman and she'd be great holding a lemon

39:19

meringue pie, but I don't think you want to chat

39:21

with her, do you? No. I

39:24

have met her. She's absolutely... She's a

39:26

really lovely person, but crucially,

39:28

she's her own woman. So what

39:30

about this? It would be trapped.

39:33

I would be trapped by anything I'm told I can't have.

39:36

What do you mean I can't have it? Watch me.

39:39

That's everything, Andy, from Swindon. Yes. You

39:41

can't have anything, Andy. Everything in everyone

39:44

else's houses you can't have. Get

39:46

out there, start burgling is what we're saying. Get

39:48

out there, start robbing... No, that's not exactly what

39:50

we're saying. No, listen, we're not saying it. Johnny's

39:52

saying it. No, he wasn't. I'm not surprised that

39:54

Andy from Swindon has never seen a house he

39:56

wants to burgle. from

40:00

James, burgling the house. If

40:02

I saw a Nokia 8210, I don't think

40:04

I could resist. They're still

40:06

the best phones and as an added burglar

40:09

bonus, it wouldn't have fined my phone for

40:11

its unfortunate exo. He thought about it. He

40:13

thought of everything, yeah. Andy

40:15

the painter, our dear friend Andy the painter's

40:17

got into actually saying, but more seriously, my

40:19

irresistible trap would be gig tickets. But not

40:22

just any gig tickets, they're Wembley gig tickets.

40:24

And it's Beyonce and she's playing Texas

40:27

Hilda. Best of British. Absolutely best of

40:29

British. Crunch

40:31

and crumble. This is

40:33

Radio X. What

40:36

would you see in a house and make

40:38

you think, I'm not going to go in

40:40

that house, I'm going to maybe burgle it.

40:42

This is absolutely fantastic from,

40:45

oh you put it to the top then, that's

40:47

why I lost it. It's from Peter Knowles. It's

40:49

from Peter in Exeter. Oh yeah, Peter Knowles. Oh

40:51

you're giving his full name, lovely. Yeah, yeah. But

40:54

the reason I give his full name is because

40:56

he shares a name with Beyonce. Beyonce Knowles, of

40:58

course, Texas Hold'em. Hit it, Ben. Well,

41:00

no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Okay, this

41:04

is it. Morning boys, the irresistible bait

41:06

for me would be to have a

41:08

visible platter of my special canapés. Sounds

41:11

horrible. I love, I love when people

41:13

have their own names. Absolutely, yeah. Just

41:15

imagine him at home being like, yeah,

41:17

we have my special canapés tonight. And

41:19

can they be on a visible platter?

41:21

Yeah. I

41:24

think he means through the window. I know, I

41:26

know he means that. Rather than. It's a funny

41:28

phrase. Yeah. If you, if the phrase visible platter,

41:30

if I saw that on a menu, I'd order it to see

41:32

what it was. Yeah. And of course, you would see what it was.

41:37

They're made up of as big a salt

41:39

and vinegar crisp as you can find, preferably

41:41

ridged. A layer of hummus on

41:43

said crisp, beautiful. All topped off with a sprinkling

41:45

of dry roasted peanuts on the hummus. I like

41:47

that. If you think that sounds mad, I beg

41:49

of you to try one. The flavor and texture

41:51

combo is actually insanely good. You're welcome, Peter and

41:53

Exeter. You know what? I, I'm

41:56

not like, oh my God, I'd never try that. Of course

41:58

I'd try that. Sounds delicious. I can imagine what it tastes

42:00

like because I've had all of those things. Just put them

42:02

all together in your mind. Yeah. Yum,

42:05

yum, yum. And good is, you know, there's texture, there's,

42:07

you know, not really a range

42:09

of flavours, it's mainly salt. Yeah. If we're

42:11

honest. Salt's a great flavour. It's one of the

42:13

best flavours. It's one of the top flavours, I'd say. A special kind

42:15

of paste just for a spoonful of salt. A Croppy Jay

42:18

and the Machine. Lady Malay. No

42:20

radicals, you get what you get. I

42:25

can't believe you had to check who that

42:27

was. I don't know why Jay. Did you drop

42:29

me in it earlier? I

42:32

did actually, I went and looked at who it was. Of course

42:34

I know the new radicals. Of course it's the new radicals. Of

42:36

course it's the new radicals. They're one of my fav acts. Yes.

42:39

You were just telling us off air that they wrote

42:41

Murder on the Dance Floor. Yeah, that's right. They

42:44

came to light recently, the demo of Murder on the

42:46

Dance Floor. That could have been their debut single. They

42:49

could have released that. Did you say that? Off air?

42:51

Did you say that off air? Yeah, you don't listen to what I tell you,

42:54

really. Not a clue that you've said that. I tell you why. It's

42:57

because I was talking about the documentary about We Are

42:59

The World. You zoned out during that and then I

43:01

started talking about You Get What You Give.

43:03

But there's a good- God, you're just topic to topic.

43:06

It's very easy for me. I reckon

43:08

I could probably burgle you just by

43:10

starting an anecdote. As you zone

43:12

out, just grabbing some of your stuff. You know, just

43:14

nipping your phone off. You're not anything anymore.

43:17

Anyway, yes, You Get What You Give, the new

43:19

radicals. Hell of a song. Best

43:21

of British. We're still talking about wardrobe

43:23

malfunctions, times that you've had some sort

43:25

of clothing dizazzo after I had to

43:27

do a job interview in wet trousers

43:29

this week. Ed, what do we

43:32

have? I love this, Chris from Hayes.

43:34

It's not his wardrobe dizazzo. Okay, he's

43:36

done this deliberately. I

43:38

put one of those security stickers you get in

43:41

supermarkets in the inside pocket of a friend's jacket.

43:45

Every time they entered or left that particular

43:47

supermarket wearing that jacket, they would set off

43:49

the alarm. I love it. That's fantastic. I

43:51

would describe Chris as having a WKD side.

43:56

I think he really does have one of those WKD sides.

44:00

glad you hear about these days. This is

44:02

one from Samantha in Manchester. Wardrobe

44:04

malfunctions. I had an important meeting early on

44:06

in my career. I couldn't find a clean

44:08

bra, but I knew there was one in

44:10

the charity bag. Oh, we've

44:12

all got the charity bag in the corner

44:14

of the room. One day it'll get... There's

44:16

basically an extra chest of drawers. Exactly right.

44:19

It was too small and left most of

44:21

my nips exposed. Most of them? How

44:25

many are you packing in? Sorry, Samantha's a couch. Most

44:29

of my nips exposed, but it was clean. I also

44:31

put on my lovely new smart cowl neck top. During

44:33

the meeting I had to adjust the projector. That's how

44:35

long ago it was. And as I leant down I

44:37

heard a gasp from the only other woman in the

44:39

room. She later told me that as I bent down

44:41

in the cowl top, my

44:43

top fell forward and everyone could see down my top

44:46

to my pretty much exposed nipples. All 25 of them.

44:49

Six men and one woman got more than

44:51

they expected on an environmental talk that day.

44:53

Samantha in Manchester. I like that. It's from

44:55

the carry on style of life. You

44:59

know what? If I'm watching an environmental talk,

45:02

I almost expect the woman doing it to

45:04

bend over and see her nipples. Oh,

45:06

absolutely right. Hashtag freedom. A lot of

45:08

these environmental people, they don't go brah.

45:11

They don't go brah. They go Charlie

45:13

Dimmock. They go Dimmock. You've

45:16

got to go Dimmock if you're given an environmental talk. Getting

45:18

contact when have you gone Dimmock? Who's

45:22

going Dimmock on a Sunday morning? Get it,

45:24

guys. It's not too late for a new

45:26

text there. Get in touch if you're going

45:28

Dimmock. Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby. Real

45:31

ex. Quick update. Gareth

45:33

in London and Kitty are both going Dimmock.

45:38

We've got a

45:41

brilliant temptation here. What

45:43

would trap Andy in the house?

45:46

What would lure you into Berkeley in the

45:48

house basically? More sentimental, but

45:50

I genuinely think the only thing that could tempt me to ever

45:52

go into someone else's home and commit a theft would

45:55

be knowing that inside that home is my late

45:57

grandfather's locket that he carried with him through the

45:59

Second World War. And upon finding that

46:01

cherished locket, you open it up and it plays

46:03

Texas Hold'em by Beyonce. Don't be a... Can't

46:06

bring it to the floor now. For you,

46:08

the best of British. Matthew Crosby

46:10

and Edward. Radio X.

46:14

Let's not forget, what are you going to replace North with

46:16

on the compass? Didn't really get many responses for that one,

46:18

but it was... Didn't have many for that one. But it's

46:20

always in play. Shall we finish off with

46:23

a text here about wardrobe malfunctions? Yes, indeed.

46:25

This one comes from Sarah in Colchester. Now,

46:27

she says, wardrobe malfunctions. I used to have

46:29

a skirt that had a zip the length

46:31

of the front and another at the back.

46:34

Dangerous. Very, very dangerous. The

46:37

zips never stayed zipped and would work their way loose.

46:39

Oh, no. I arrived at work wearing it one

46:41

morning and as I took my coat off, found

46:43

the back zip had come totally undone and the

46:45

skirt came off with the coat. Oh, no. This

46:50

is something... If this happened in an episode of Miranda, you'd

46:52

think it's a bit on the nose. It's a bit much.

46:56

I rushed to help but was laughing so much, pretty much the

46:58

whole room had seen it before we bundled the coat back over

47:00

me. Good luck in the charts this week, Sarah in Colchester.

47:02

That's what we're talking about. At least, Sarah, just pray to God

47:04

that you weren't going downstairs, Dimock. The

47:08

old double D, the old DD. Yeah, the old DD.

47:11

Do, of course, get in touch next week,

47:13

Sunday at radiox.co.uk if you are going to

47:15

be going, Dimock, for the show. We'd

47:18

love to know. Thank you

47:20

to Cassie who's got in touch. Thank

47:23

you to Kitty. Thank you to Gareth. Of

47:25

course, Sam in Andover, you got in touch.

47:27

They're all going, Dimock. It's the craze that's

47:29

sweeping the nation. Get in touch,

47:31

folks. That's all from us. Stick around

47:33

for Danny Wallace. Do. Stick around for

47:36

Big D W. So

47:38

when Danny starts, maybe text in and say, is

47:41

Danny going, Dimock? Is Danny going, Dimock? I

47:43

can't wait to find out. Anyway, see you

47:45

soon, folks. Bye-bye! RadioX.

47:52

Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby. Well,

47:54

there we are. That was the show. And

47:56

what a show it was. What a show,

47:58

baby. What a show. show it was.

48:00

Have you got any Beckett and

48:03

recommendations? You've been watching a lot of

48:05

stuff. Can I remember it? Probably

48:07

not. But I will

48:09

say that Extraordinary Season 2 is now

48:11

available on Disney+. Oh yeah, I've not

48:13

finished Season 1. I'm really enjoying it.

48:15

I think it is fantastic. I think

48:17

it's so funny. It's brilliantly conceived. And

48:19

you sort of read it on paper

48:21

and you're like, oh, it's about superpowers.

48:23

It's like sitcom about superpowers. It's sort

48:25

of been done. You know, it's often

48:27

not handled particularly well. I think they've

48:29

just nailed it. I think it's

48:32

so funny. Everyone in it is brilliant. Just

48:34

fantastic. I just go and watch. I just

48:36

think the jokes are very, very

48:38

good as well. It's very smartly written

48:41

and tightly written. So go and watch

48:43

Extraordinary. On Disney+. Is that where it

48:45

is? On Disney+. I believe the first

48:47

series is now on ITVX as well.

48:49

Oh, there we go. They're going up

48:51

in the world. Anything

48:53

else? Any music? Anything like that?

48:57

Music-wise, probably not.

49:00

I've started reading a book that I'm enjoying. Do

49:03

you know what? So have I. I've actually

49:05

started reading Danny's book and it's great. Oh,

49:07

have you? I'm really loving it. It's really, really good.

49:09

I'll have to say it to him when he comes

49:11

in to take over. But Danny Wallace's new book out in

49:13

May is, that's not what it's called. That's

49:15

when it's out. Somebody told me it's what it's called.

49:18

It's really, really good. What book are you reading? It's

49:20

about the killers. John dies at the end. Oh,

49:23

spoiler alert. Well, that's what it's called. There

49:25

you go. John dies at the end. Yeah,

49:27

it's like horror, but very funny and sort

49:29

of sharp. And yes, I'm enjoying it. You're

49:31

reading fiction. Yeah, I love fiction. Oh my

49:33

God, you're reading fiction. I love fiction, baby.

49:35

John dies at the end. Fantastic. Anything else?

49:38

No, I think we'll stick with that for

49:40

now. We're doing a pre-record tomorrow, so I

49:43

better. Yeah, keep a few things off to

49:45

one side. Watch a few things. I was

49:47

very, since our last record, I was

49:50

very unwell. Very, very well. You're not

49:52

expecting being unwell, are you? No, no, no. But what I

49:54

did get to do was just sit and watch some things

49:56

that I wanted to watch. Yes. On

49:59

the on the on the. third day as I was recovering I was able

50:01

to watch a few things and I

50:04

watched the Netflix documentary about

50:06

the making of We Are The World which

50:08

is brilliant. Absolutely fantastic it's called The Greatest

50:10

Night in Pop and it really

50:12

is a fun like it's phenomenal you'd never get

50:14

these people you know stars

50:17

of that caliber in a room together it's

50:19

fascinating Lionel Richie had hosted an awards ceremony

50:21

and then went to a recording studio and

50:23

recorded We Are The World and it was

50:25

yeah I know it doesn't sound appealing to

50:27

you but it's really it's really fascinating. If

50:30

you were sat in a house saying this

50:33

you would go in. I would go in I

50:35

would absolutely go in. So watch that that's

50:37

really really good The Greatest Night in Pop

50:39

I also watched which is also on Netflix

50:41

the square in the circle the story of

50:43

hypnosis documentary which is getting advertised to me

50:45

I think you'd like it yeah it's really

50:47

it's it just it shows you what's kind

50:49

of mad stuff people had to do before

50:51

Photoshop existed so if you

50:53

wanted to make an album cover in the 70s

50:55

you had and you wanted it to be a

50:57

bunch of kids climbing up the Giant's Causeway you

50:59

have to go there and do that if you

51:01

want to make the House of the Holy

51:04

front cover. Again

51:06

I don't think you'd find it interesting Ed. I've

51:08

tuned out. It's members of a lot of members

51:10

of Pink Floyd talking about how their album covers

51:12

were made and it's

51:16

great it's absolutely fantastic and it's just

51:18

really interesting to talk to Noel Gallagher's

51:20

on it and he's talking

51:22

about the way things have changed in his

51:24

lifetime and when album covers meant something and

51:26

now obviously they're a tiny little thing like

51:28

he's talking trying to explain it to his

51:30

kids about that people actually care about what's on an

51:32

album cover and they just don't speaking

51:34

of kids little Jerry Cinnamon the

51:36

other day we were listening to the radio I'm trying to play

51:39

a bit of pop radio to kind of move them away from

51:41

the Wiggles

51:43

and Mr. Tumble into listening to actual music and

51:46

a song came on the radio which I loved

51:48

as well but the second it came on I

51:50

heard it for a few moments

51:52

when the moment this song finishes can

51:54

we play it again right and it

51:56

was Charlie XCX's new single Von Dutch. Hang

52:00

on! I was like, you don't want

52:02

it, like, obviously I want a little hyper pop kid, but

52:04

you don't want to force it. Yeah, yeah. You

52:06

know, she only loves 100 Ghecks because they're basically kids

52:08

music already, but she- And you play

52:11

them all the time. And I play them all the time, yeah.

52:13

And they've got a song about a frog. So, and

52:16

so we played it on the

52:18

radio, then I switched the radio off, went on Spotify,

52:20

played it again. She ran off, got

52:22

changed into a different outfit, said, can you cheer

52:25

for me? And I was like, here she comes,

52:27

little Jerry Simon, yay! And she came and did

52:29

like a catwalk to Von Dutch and

52:31

oh my god, I loved it. So that's brilliant.

52:33

Yeah. So yeah, those two documentaries

52:35

and the song Von Dutch by Charlie XCX. Brilliant

52:38

stuff. Vin? Also Von Dutch

52:40

by Charlie XCX. Have

52:43

I done the Everything Everything album, Mountainhead, now that

52:45

it's out? I think you did a song from

52:47

the, you did one of the first

52:49

singles that got released. Yeah, well so now the actual album's out. You've

52:51

also got to make- Yeah, I tell you what we haven't done. The

52:53

Biggest Dinos Monster. Yeah, I think we haven't done that for a while.

52:55

I know, we need to come back to that. Yeah. Let's

52:59

do that tomorrow, once I've thought about it. Okay. Okay,

53:01

so another week, another week holding off. You can't be

53:03

rushed. It's a rollover. Um,

53:05

alright, yeah. But yeah, it's Mountainhead. And also,

53:07

I heard the new Nick Cave tune the

53:09

other day, Wild God. I've not

53:11

heard it. It's great, because it's just, I

53:13

mean, it starts very Nick Cave. Yeah. Wild

53:16

God sounds like he's got the title from an automatic

53:19

Nick Cave song generator. Well that's the thing, the end

53:21

of the song is just him being like 150% Nick

53:23

Cave. Great.

53:26

And then the last self-parody is him just going crazy

53:28

and wailing over this big orchestra. So

53:30

that tune is fantastic. Great,

53:32

I'll enjoy that. Fantastic. And of

53:34

course, if you want to get in touch with any of

53:36

the texters, because we're doing a pre-record next week, so

53:38

any of the texters, what would

53:41

it take for you to burglar a house? What could

53:43

be in a house that would ensnare you? What couldn't

53:45

you resist? What couldn't you resist? Get

53:47

in touch with that, and of

53:50

course, Wardrobe Malfunctions, Sunday at

53:52

radiox.co.uk. Send

53:54

us screenshots of your best in British. Oh yeah,

53:56

yeah, yeah. Texas Hold'em number one.

53:59

Dealership. choice for the next day. Have a wonderful

54:02

week everybody, see you soon. Bye bye!