0:00

Well, thank you for tuning in to our podcast. Today's topic children.

0:07

What's the point with our special guest, doctor Christine Hurley, who's an expert

0:14

on families? I am an expert, honey, Oh boy, okay,

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I'm just kidding. She's not a doctor, she's sort of an expert.

0:25

You have twelve kids? How many kids you do? As far as I

0:28

know, as far as I know, five? But there could be others,

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you know. Well, I think that. Yeah, I don't think

0:35

it works that way. I think your husband could have others that he doesn't

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know about. The moms usually know. There's a sort of a nine month

0:43

thing. You think you could have been blacked out for the entire nine months?

0:49

Good? Quite possible, Yeah, quite quite possible. Believe me.

0:52

That's I wouldn't doubt it. But that would be cool. It would be

0:59

cool. You've heard of people, No, seriously, Christine, you've heard

1:03

of people who you know, don't know they're pregnant. You know, they're

1:07

usually I mean to be polite, fat, they're fat, And well,

1:11

no, that happens. But I don't think you can. I don't know

1:15

there's ever ever been a circumstance where a woman had an unknown pregnancy and then

1:23

delivered the baby without knowing. I think there's usually some cramping and fluids exactly.

1:33

But have you heard those stories? The ladies, they you know, they they feel like they got to go party, so they go on the

1:38

party and out comes a little dude. No way, is that true.

1:44

You're saying this a joke. Oh no, no, no, that's true.

1:47

That's happened. Didn't haven't you ever seen? Hadn't they dropped the baby

1:49

in the toilet. Yes, they think they're doing a little party, but

1:53

it's a it's a but the but it's a little turd with eyes, nose

1:57

and a mouth. You're making that up. I'm not, I swear to

2:00

God, Matt. Don't you watch Discovery well, Shark Week, Sharp week?

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Uh? Let me? Could we start with a proper introduction. Christine

2:14

Hurley is uh my guest today and I love Christine. Christ When I did

2:19

those shows at the Wolbo, I think I did ten or twelve? How

2:22

many did I do? We did thirteen? I think that many? I

2:25

think we did. And Christine was the opening act and most people said I

2:30

didn't even have to come out for Christine's opening. I love I love Christine

2:37

and I love you, Matt Siegel. Everybody loved Matt SEAgel. Yeah,

2:43

yes, how do I monetize that? We've got to figure that out.

2:46

We figured that out. Yeah, so you do the you do the cameos.

2:53

No, you mean we should charge one hundred bucks for yes? Why

2:57

not? I don't. People would pay it, people would say it.

3:00

I listen, I sell pictures on my feet. Excuse me, like the

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foot fetishes. I mean, you know got me through school. Wait,

3:15

are you on a foot fetish website? Well, I thought about it.

3:19

I have great feet. I thought about it. I've seen your feet.

3:23

They're lovely, five on each they are completely they're symmetrical, they're great.

3:31

I can't tell if you're kidding. Is there some kidding I'm kidding. I'm

3:34

sorry, honey, Yeah, I'm kidding. Yeah, you never did it?

3:38

Not a bad no, because I know they're they're a foot fetish.

3:43

Oh, they're definitely. Definitely. Yeah. There's a there's a Boston comic

3:46

who has a foot fetish. I will I will not name names, but

3:51

and he goes on he yes, he loves he. Okay, well that's

3:55

not that's not an uncommon fetish. No, no, God love them.

4:00

He's a lovely guy. He's absolutely lovely, but he just likes feet.

4:05

He's but he does he purchase as he on. Oh yeah, I believe

4:11

though, I believe. So wow cool, I'm pretty sure. So let's

4:14

get back to this cameo thing because I want Yeah, so, how did

4:18

how people pay for me to just say, like they do a video?

4:24

Have don help you get on the cameo and and you'll get the request will

4:28

stop poorn in. So what they do is they request you to like say

4:31

happy birthday to a loved one or yeah, I would do that, but

4:34

I would charge for it. Yes, that's what I mean. You'll charge

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for it. You'll get you will, You'll you have to charge for it.

4:44

That's crazy time. Why would you give that away? Matt. That's

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what we're going to talk about families today. Oh you're right, absolute intro.

4:50

Okay, forget the intro so I could go on cameo. Yes,

4:56

and and because I've heard of it, I know what it is. Your

5:00

city. People people pay and they will pick met I'm here in Boston,

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okay, and you know this, and I've told you this a thousand times.

5:11

Everywhere I go. Everywhere I go, I get recognized from you,

5:15

thank God, and everybody says we love Maddie, everybody. I never I've

5:23

never heard a bad word about you ever. Oh if you want, you've

5:27

heard some bad words about me. That's probably why I'm not on the air

5:31

anymore. But uh yeah, okay, yeah, we got We're not going

5:36

on that road, are we. No. But you could monetize, you

5:42

could. You could be sitting on a big pile of cash with this cameo

5:45

thing. Why would I do podcasts? There's no money in podcasts. There

5:49

could be well Joe Rogan maybe yeah, but you'll be the next who says

5:56

you're not going to be the next Joe Rogan. Matt uh uh, let's

6:00

go back to the foot finish thing. I'm not going to be Joe Rogan.

6:09

No. So let me ask you something though. If I interviewed Joe

6:13

Rogan on a podcast and then we what's that thing? Will you what's it

6:17

called? Will you you attach yourself to somebody else's Instagram stitch or is it

6:26

bad tag bag? So I tag Joe Rogan, do I instantly get his

6:31

three hundred million followers? It doesn't work that way, No, it doesn't

6:35

work that way. But but you could. You could. That's why people

6:39

tag people to get more views, and you could. I read that Taylor

6:45

Swift has three hundred and seventy five million followers. Can you isn't that more

6:50

than I mean more than people there? Yeah? Yeah, that is insane

6:56

love. So all I have to do is tag Taylor Swift and I get

7:00

all of her followers. I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say yeah, yeah,

7:03

I don't Yeah, I'm going to say, even Traviy Kelsey. Yeah,

7:09

that's a cool story. This guy, he's a terrific ballplayer. Absolutely.

7:14

How did they come together? He went to her concert and made her

7:18

you know the concert they were they were doing friendship bracelets. All the people

7:23

that all the people that went to her concerts were trading friendship bracelets, like

7:28

with their phone numbers on him, And so he went to He has a

7:30

crush on her. He went to her concert with the friendship bracelet, but he never got to give it to her. She never, she never.

7:35

He wanted to meet her, but she didn't come back and meet him.

7:39

So he shot a shot and got in touch with her PR people and set

7:43

this up. And I've met Taylor's I have a picture of man Taylor Swift

7:46

you doo yeah somewhere, yes, you know what. She was so lovely.

7:53

My youngest daughter is a crazy fan of Taylor love that. And I

7:59

met her and I took a picture, uh you know, of me and

8:03

her, and I told her the story how my daughter, and she got

8:07

my address and sent a letter to my daughter, an actual letter. Are

8:09

you kidding me? She's unbelievable. That's the classiest thing you've ever heard.

8:13

She is the classy. She should run for president. She is. She's

8:18

flawless in every way. Every way. Her content are were life changing.

8:24

How are the feet? The feet, Okay, I think she's got good

8:28

I think they're big, but I think they're great. I think she's got

8:31

big feet. Yeah, I think you're looking at I think she's rocking a size eleven. I mean, is that it's possible. I think you're right,

8:41

honey. Way can we go to the topic that I was going to originally talk about. Let's talk about families and fun. It's not fun.

8:52

I think that's America's dirty, maybe the world. It's the dirty little secret.

8:56

Everybody thinks you you have kids and it's just a exactly and it like

9:01

I feel bad now when when you and I had kids, social media wasn't

9:07

wasn't you know what I mean? Like the fish Yeah, you know,

9:11

so so lucky us because the pressure enough to have these babies and have your

9:18

life be not perfect every day. But these poor kids that are having babies

9:22

now, that are on the Instagram with the perfect pictures and the perfect life

9:26

and the perfect house, and it's that's not happening. It's not happening.

9:31

What about these people who like put their kid's little face on their car?

9:37

You know, God Almighty, yes, the soccer we play soccer. The

9:43

stick people. There's stick people, yeah, stick figure family. Yeah,

9:48

we don't care, Matt. We don't care about the stick people. Will

9:52

ram you will ram. You know, we don't care about your stick people

9:56

people. People think wait, hold on when you say you ram them,

10:01

right, I mean you will. If you saw a car with the stick

10:05

figure of a soccer player, you would accelerate into their rear bumper. Well,

10:09

if I wasn't on my daily dose of sixty milligrams of fluoxytin, I

10:13

certainly would that it goes, it goes up my ass like a wire brush.

10:16

I can't stand it. People don't know what fluoc atine is. It's

10:20

prozac o zach. Of course I must be wondering why doctor Matt knew that.

10:26

Oopsie, oh we have a lot in common. You're in a good

10:33

company. You're in good company. Okay, So so all right, so

10:39

that's a big turn off to you. You see, like this, I was going to say station wagon. I'm shore on my age, not station

10:45

wagon, like a minivan, yeah, a mini van with yeah, with

10:48

the little sticks of their kids, yeah, and at the and the ones

10:52

with the like you said, the soccer ball, and then they put the stick people of the pets. I love the grandmother and the stick grandmother and

10:58

the stick wheel here, that's my personal favorite. I mean, it's just

11:03

ridiculous. Nobody cares about your own kids, but you I don't really care

11:09

about them, No really, I mean I love my children. But like,

11:16

how about a job that It never was a thing when we were growing

11:24

up about whether you would get a job. Of course, you got a

11:28

job. If you didn't get a job, you'd end up in prison.

11:31

They don't. Oh no, I'm not fulfilled. And they have all these

11:37

what what do you call it? Where you don't have a regular job but

11:41

you do different little projects, hustle like hustles the side hustle. Yep,

11:48

yep, yep. I'm telling you when we grew up, and I'm sure

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when you grew up, if we didn't have a job my father, I

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wouldn't I'd be Are you kidding me? No way, you don't know how

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it is in La Dad. I don't know how it is. No,

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you really don't know, you know, with the strike and everything. Well

12:07

did they not have all? Do you not have a diner where you could

12:11

like be a hostess or a you know, do you have to be in

12:16

the movies? Like? Really? Yeah? You put in this has been

12:24

for years? Oh my god? Yeah, whatever happened to like, you

12:30

know, when the people when they're old, when you're like I'm old,

12:33

aren't they supposed to take care of me? You would think, you would

12:37

think. I don't think that's going to happen for either of us. I

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really, I really don't like you. I barely hear from them. Well

12:45

that's good. At least they don't call it bug. Probably how old are

12:48

they? They are the oldest thirty one? Okay, so I have that's

12:54

funny because I have two that are thirty one. The twins are thirty one.

12:58

Yeah, I believe they are thirty one. Holy cow, Oh my

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god. They're finding themselves. Anybody lost in the woods, they'll find themselves.

13:09

I'll tell you my thirty one year old. She is about as bright

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as a five watt bulb. But she got herself with and she's she's only

13:18

rocking five watts. She's only rocking five wats. God, lover she she

13:24

is. She's a bright, shining star to herself. She is just so.

13:28

Does she work? She does. She's a she works for a dentist.

13:31

She's a receptionist at a local very very good dentist. Free she gets

13:37

free floss. Unfortunately, she worked at Bertucci's for ten years before this,

13:41

so now every time she answers the phone at the dentist office, she says,

13:46

good morning, thank you for calling Bertucci's. This is Colleen. She

13:50

still says that you think that she was corrected once or twice. I think

13:58

they just let it go. They just they just yeah, they just want

14:01

a warm body, So thank you for calling Bertucci. Do you have any

14:07

dental pain? What can I get you? Yeah? Can I have a

14:13

I'd like a pizza and a crown you know. Okay, so what are

14:20

the other ones doing. Let's see my second daughter, Libby, she's twenty

14:24

seven. She's a school teacher. That's a real job. She's got a

14:28

real job. Match, she's got a real yes, great all high school.

14:35

What did you teach? She teaches that for for she teaches video production?

14:41

Oh okay, do they have like a little TV studio at the high

14:43

school and she teaches the kids how to you know, do do video?

14:48

And yeah, she's been she's been there about eight years, nine years,

14:52

I think. So she's doing great. So that's a real job. She's

14:56

got a real job. My middle one, oh, my middle daughter, Ryan Barb, the one with the speech impediment. We thought she'd oh she

15:05

does she talk tom point this. She does to tompoint this all the time.

15:11

Mommy, I don't want the speech. That's just how they talk.

15:16

It's like a pack of day or two pack of day thing. And she

15:20

but she is my middle one, and we thought she'd be home with us

15:22

forever. We did, God lover, she put herself through Fashion Institute of

15:26

Technology in New York and now she's a big school. It's a great school.

15:31

God got scholarships and everything. And worked her butt off and she's a

15:37

big executive at long Combe, this big makeup place in New York. So

15:43

she's doing great. My number four guy, Joe, I thought you were

15:46

going to make fun of your kids. Now it's just the opposite. Now

15:48

I'm I can still get back to the oldest one. But the number four

15:54

Joe, he's my favorite. He is that you're not supposed to say that,

16:00

you do. You know, that makes the others work a little harder,

16:03

Matt, So Joe is. So they all know that Joe's your favorite

16:06

kid. You bet you could call any of them right now. They sure do, they sure do. He is He works for a big construction company

16:15

that build houses, big, big, big mansions and he does the real

16:21

estate. Oh yeah, so he builds by day and sells on the weekend.

16:26

So he's doing great. And then my little guy, Brendan, he's

16:29

twenty two. He is works for a big landscape for guy. None of

16:34

them one, just the only one went to school out of five of them.

16:37

Yeah, and he's EM's lawns and yeah Mo's lawns. Ye. Actually

16:44

he does that. He puts in septic systems and stuff. He does, he does, he does pretty good. God love him. Oh yeah,

16:51

he's he's Yeah, he's a little jinkie, but you know he he does

16:53

good. He's good. Jinky. He's a little like you know, little,

17:00

he's anxious, Yes, anxious. Maybe he could get some of mom's

17:07

flexiteene or whatever it's called. Willing chair. So no firefighters, No,

17:14

not a one. Can you imagine that? So their husband, your I

17:17

mean your husband, Their father is a firefighter or was. I think he's

17:21

retired down right, Yeah, none of them. And my dad too,

17:25

My dad's retired Boston firefighter. But you're the daughter of a firefighter and you

17:30

met. Isn't that the cutest thing ever? That is really cute? Yeah,

17:37

so your dad was It was your dad the one that if somebody was

17:42

stuck in a burning building that he would come and rescue them if they had

17:45

a bucket of fried chicken. No, that would be my husband. Oh

17:49

that was your husband. That was my husband when he was when he was

17:52

a little hefty, when he was a heavier you know, before the heart

17:56

attack, and he was a little chunky monkey. You know, he wouldn't

17:59

he would only if you held food out the window. So well, I

18:02

think that's fair. I mean, he has to climb up the ladder.

18:06

I think I think it's admirable. Yeah, I think it's admirable. He

18:10

made it, made a career out of it. I think it's great. So do you make dinner? Are you a cook? I make dinner five

18:15

nights a week. You'd be surprised you really cook five nights you Well,

18:21

I didn't for a while. Both boys just moved home recently. So now

18:23

I'm back. Oh they didn't tell me they moved home. Oh you're there

18:29

bragging about your dad and they all have great jobs. Oh, by the

18:33

way, seriously they did. They moved home. Things weren't working good working

18:41

out for them in the big world outside. I say, now that welcome

18:45

to my world. Why I moved to Florida. I moved away from them.

18:51

But I pay their rent. When does that end? No, I

18:55

don't know that end. They are so you get parents never paid my rent

19:03

never, never, And and they live here. The boys live here rent

19:10

free. They don't pay. So how did that work? Was there a

19:12

phone call? Or uh? Well, the youngest one, the youngest one

19:18

was kind of in and out with his girlfriend. They were they were kind

19:21

of back and forth. But now he's permanent. Now the girlfriend lives in

19:27

your house, uh, part time in the basements, which we didn't know

19:33

your husband for a few months. So he moved. They moved back home

19:37

and brought a check with him. Yes, and he and she's lovely.

19:42

We love her. But she but we didn't know she was there for a

19:47

few months, and we wondered where where she went to the bathroom. We

19:52

were very confused. But but but we love her, and she's found her

19:57

own place. So she's she's in her own place. I lost her there.

20:02

She used the bathroom when she does, well, there's no bathroom in the basement, and we never see them, so I don't know. Oh,

20:08

so he moved in the basement. He's in the basement bathroom does he

20:14

use? Hopefully not my wash or dryer? I mean, I I don't

20:19

know, man, it's a it's a mystery. Well what do they do?

20:22

Go outside in a bush? Maybe maybe could be you know, I

20:27

think they just don't want to. They don't they don't want to come upstairs

20:30

and you know, bother us, so they go outside. And now this

20:37

is where this you know, we're kind of running out of time, but this is where we started off where you're telling a story of a woman who

20:44

didn't know she was pregnant and delivered a child in the toilet, which I

20:48

don't believe is a true story, but it is. Look it up.

20:52

This is go Yeah, that really happened. Women delivered baby and yes,

21:00

Google, absolutely it happens. I know that there are women who didn't know

21:03

they were I know that story, yes, but I always assumed some point

21:08

they called somebody. Yeah, yeah, but no this there are there are

21:12

people that have that have happened. To mm hmmm, because that's about easy

21:17

most people women who have children. I mean, it's a whole there.

21:22

So just slopping right out in the toilet, that's pretty good. Couldn't be

21:26

happier. I wouldn't be happier. I would be thrilled, thrilled. My

21:33

last one came out in the elevator going up or down. I'm a professional

21:41

interviewer. I have to answer ask the questions. We're going, we're going

21:48

up to the mature to the delivery room at the hospital. And too late

21:56

he was in he was in my yoga pants. Wait a minute, like

22:02

he actually right now? Yeah he came out yep, yep, So well

22:07

you were standing up. I was sitting in the in a wheelchair and Jimmy

22:14

and it was and he was five weeks early. And Jimmy, we couldn't

22:17

find Jimmy. We didn't have cell phones then. Yes, Jimmy Hurley,

22:21

my husband. We couldn't find him. He was playing cards with his buddies.

22:26

No one could find him. He finally showed up, but he was

22:30

a little in the cup, you know what I mean, from the cod

22:33

the baby was. We can't blame him. Okay, so you're in a

22:38

to go to the hospital to put you in a wheelchair. Yes, And

22:42

I just knew it. I said, this is and my water broke and

22:45

I said, oh, and because he was my fifth one, he walked

22:48

out and lit a cigarette. I mean he yeah, you know, he

22:52

was the easiest one, so he like a horse. He was stood up

22:56

in the elevator after being born. Yeah, is there a nurse with you?

23:03

It was. It was a nurse and right there. So they whipped

23:08

my pants off and they got me into the you know, they were great,

23:11

they were fantastic. They didn't actually come out in the elevator. Just

23:15

his head, yeah, okay, his head. Yes, I was able

23:19

to I was able to do his hair. Okay, see if it's his

23:23

hair in the elevator, and they wieled her in a delivery room and then

23:27

they just yanked him out. He was like a fish. He just most

23:34

women would love delivery. I was very lucky, very lucky. I mean

23:40

some deliveries take days. Oh they do. My poor niece just delivered.

23:44

It took Oh my god, I want to say four days. It's horrible.

23:49

Yeah, I don't. Oh. Oh it hurts. Oh, it

23:53

hurts. It hurts. Like have you ever had a kidney stone? That's

23:56

what they compare it to. No, never had the pleasure. Oh good,

24:02

I've never had a kid Yeah. Good for you, Matt. Good

24:07

for your healthy Yeah I think so. Yeah for an old guy who never

24:12

took care of himself. I don't have any issues I had. I had

24:18

a like a tumor thing a couple of years ago in my radio career.

24:22

Yeah. I remember that. Yeah, I remember that. Not good.

24:29

It wasn't well. Yeah, I mean it's okay. I mean if it

24:32

was cancerous, that would have been really bad. But it wasn't. Yeah,

24:36

it was pretty Yeah. Oh thank god. Man, you're America's treasure.

24:42

What you are America's treasure. What will we do without you? Well,

24:48

I think people are doing fine with them, Matt, I don't do anything anymore. I don't know. Well, I might do it. This

24:53

is I'm thinking about doing a podcast, but I don't know. I mean,

24:56

this is a podcast, but I don't know. I think you should.

25:00

I think you should. You think I should. If if I hold

25:06

everybody in in the state, overwhelmingly you should do it. They would no

25:15

offense. What's in it for me? Don't? Don't You don't get paid,

25:18

You don't get paid, Well, don't, but don't yet. But

25:21

I think when you build up a following, don't you get like There are

25:26

nationally known podcast people like Joe Lorogan and he is actually the only one that

25:30

I could think of that's that's doing well well. No, there are a

25:34

lot. I don't really listen to podcasts. I don't. I don't listen

25:38

to many, but the few that I do are really doing well, Like

25:42

what are You Like Who? There's one podcast I listened to that I absolutely

25:47

love and it's uh it's two gay Guys and they were on Bostel Sports.

25:55

Gay Guys on Barstool Sports. It's absolutely the podcast is unbelievable. It's they're

26:02

fine. It is hilarity from beginning to end. And then there's these two

26:06

Southern women and they have a podcast called I've Had It With. So every

26:12

week they come on and say, what have you had it with? I've

26:15

had it? You know, it's a lot of those. Well, we

26:18

know you don't like the people who put the little pictures of the kids on

26:22

the back of the minivan. I know that's that's one of yours. Yeah,

26:27

oh they're great. They are the best. Yep. So you get

26:30

you get yourself into a little groove, you'll be fine. Okay, what

26:36

is that other thing where I get pages to say happy birthday? What was that thing again? Get on the cameo mash even I do it? You

26:44

do how much you can do? I get? I get fifty bucks per

26:48

thing? Okay, I'd have to do well, I'd have to do ten

26:53

thousand of them to move the needle. But that your dog or mine?

26:59

That's pick that's yeah, pickles, okay, pickles, pull little pickles.

27:03

He's he's cute, but he's our dick. He's a dick. Don't you

27:10

call him dick instead of pickles? Over here? Dick Jewish word. The

27:18

Jewish word is schmuck. Smuck is a dick. Yeah, that's Yiddish for

27:23

dick. Hey, good old here, you're schmuck. Yeah. You could

27:30

swear on a podcast, I could say yeah. You can't say yeah,

27:33

but I don't think yeah, I don't need don't need to. Yeah,

27:38

well, I mean that reminds you of my childhood, my mother and say

27:42

come to dinner, you fucking schmuck. And on that note, that's it

27:49

for today. Thanks for tuning in. I love you, Matt,