Once again the holiday season is upon us, a time of joy but also stress.  We often visit family members we haven’t seen in some time and that’s when changes in older loved ones become more noticeable.  Some of the changes that may indicate your loved one needs some extra help:

1. Weight loss2. Deterioration in personal hygiene3. Unusually dirty or messy home4. Unusually loud or quiet, paranoid or agitated behavior5. Local friends and relatives noticing changes in behavior6. Self-imposed isolation, stops attending activities7. Signs of forgetfulness such as unopened mail, piling newspapers, missed appointments, unfilled prescriptions8. Signs of poorly managed finances, such as not paying bills, losing money, paying bills twice9. Unusual purchases

So what should you be doing if you see any of the above? A physical and neurological exam should identify any medical issues.  A Geriatric Care Manager (GCM) can help assess the options available that will allow your loved one to continue to live a full, fruitful and safe life.  Suggestions may include a home health aide, adult day care, and personal organizer to help with money management.

If your loved one can no longer live alone, possible alternative living arrangements include another family member’s home, assisted living, senior housing or nursing home.  Each choice has pros and cons and expense is often an issue.  Planning should be done as early as possible to determine what government benefits can be tapped to help pay the cost, such as Medicare, Medicaid and Veteran’s benefits. 

 Because the family is together once again, the holidays  are a good time to begin discussing these difficult decisions.  For example, if one child lives nearby an aging parent and sees the decline on a daily or weekly basis, and the other child does not, there is often a tendency for that second child to downplay or minimize the decline, often basing his/her opinion on phone calls with the parent.  But seeing the parent and visiting their home can alter that perception. 

Remember, there are resources available to you.  All you need to do is find them or consult with someone knowledgeable, such as an elder care attorney, who can help point you in the right direction.  But, don’t put it off till next year.  By that time you may be dealing with a full blown crisis.