0:12

Okay.

0:15

Welcome back. This is Emma and this

0:17

is Andrew and we're from MLA and bri.com

0:20

and you're listening to our podcast, getting

0:22

married with Emeline bride. And

0:24

this week we're going to be speaking with you about

0:26

your wedding guest list and how to pick

0:29

your wedding party. Let's get

0:31

it started. Okay, so guest list. This

0:33

one is a toughie because there's always

0:35

a lot of dilemma with family and friends.

0:37

Oh yeah. Been there, done that. Do you invite

0:40

your second cousin twice removed even

0:42

though you haven't seen them in like a year or

0:44

maybe ever. You might have to. You might have to bite

0:46

the bullet on that one. What about your coworkers, your

0:48

friends, like day to day, but you might not hang

0:50

out outside the office? Personally

0:53

for me, I dunno coworkers. I mean, come on.

0:55

If you know the people, I think if you've known

0:57

him for a while, I say go for it. If not,

1:00

Eh, I don't think you have to. Yeah, I agree.

1:02

And then the other thing is do include kids,

1:05

the pros and cons. With that kids, you can,

1:07

you can invite kids if you're really pumped to have a bunch

1:09

of kids and, and you want them to have

1:11

good time. Or maybe you've got a family with a lot of kids,

1:14

uh, extended family, but if not, and you just

1:16

want it to be adults and a young

1:18

happening hip hop Nin party

1:21

thrown around then, then crazy. Yeah. Crazy.

1:23

Maybe you want him to just keep it adults,

1:25

right? So we'll get into all of that, but pretty much

1:28

everything's going to come down to personal preference

1:30

and most of all your budget,

1:33

those road. Okay, so budget. You

1:35

know what the funny thing about budget is? You

1:37

can have the same size guest

1:39

list at two different venues in pay

1:41

a completely different price. For example,

1:44

you can have 20 guests at

1:46

$20 a piece per plate, right?

1:49

Including food and Bar, right? And

1:51

it'll be like four grand. And that sounds

1:53

like a pretty good deal, right? On

1:55

the other hand, if you go to a pricier venue,

1:58

you might invite 200 guests, same gas.

2:00

Yeah. At $50 a plate

2:02

and you're gonna spend $10,000

2:05

still doesn't sound terrible. Terrible.

2:08

When people are saying that spending $40,000

2:11

or upwards of like 60 or when

2:13

you're getting, when you're getting up to 40 I mean we were,

2:15

we just did 10 and we just covered what

2:17

we told you guys last week was one of the

2:19

most expensive parts of your budget. Yeah,

2:21

it was the food and drinks and food and drink for sure.

2:24

Yeah, so c same guest lists, different

2:26

price. It's going to come down to where you get married,

2:28

right? Absolutely. Let's say you want to keep

2:30

the same, keep on your budget and

2:33

you don't want to cut the guest list. I can only, I'm

2:35

going to spend this much money and this

2:37

many people are coming. Right. You can do

2:39

a couple of things. One of those things is you can

2:41

cut down the number of entrees for your meal,

2:43

of course, so if people are looking at the same money, they can cut

2:45

small things out if they're really stuck on the more

2:47

expensive venue, right? Yeah, absolutely.

2:50

You can have two Andre's instead of four

2:52

do away with the dessert table. Perhaps

2:54

maybe a big dessert. I mean also the

2:56

open bar to closed bar and that's going to

2:58

save you if you want to go that route. But

3:01

if you don't want to go that route, have at it and

3:03

get, get everything included. I mean you're

3:05

going to get married once here and if

3:09

not, there's plenty of ways to save money,

3:11

hopefully at the location you want as your

3:13

wedding. Many, okay? Now if you have your heart set on

3:15

a venue that you really, really love, alright

3:18

and you cannot budge on your guests was like no,

3:20

this is the less that happens to everyone. The

3:22

parents, if they've got friends,

3:24

they've got, they've got people they've known for forever

3:26

and you might have only met these people twice.

3:29

They want them to come to your wedding. If

3:31

you are good at keeping the guest list as is,

3:33

you can cut on other areas, right?

3:36

So sometimes you need to just make your priorities

3:38

like your food and drink are going to

3:40

be the big expense. Maybe

3:42

you spend less on your wedding favors. Yeah.

3:44

Maybe you get, instead of a live band,

3:46

you get a DJ. So you just have to kind

3:49

of work out your budget to make it fit the

3:51

venue that you want, which you definitely will.

3:53

Sometimes you have to cut your guest list

3:55

cause you just have to fit your venue. Sometimes

3:58

your venue is too small, so there's a couple

4:00

ways you can do it without feeling guilty. Yeah,

4:02

I mean if you, if you've got to hold it to

4:04

a specific number or of course your budget,

4:07

you may have to cut people and you shouldn't feel

4:09

too bad about it if

4:11

you do have to cut them, but you

4:14

could also look at it another way. You're going to pay

4:16

up now and in the future down the line, if you

4:18

expect to see these people, they did

4:20

make it to, to your wedding. You did have them there

4:22

and if they have a wedding or their family has a wedding,

4:24

you're going to go to the rest down the line. You expect

4:27

to see. Again, I would invite them to your

4:29

wedding. I would attempt to make it work. And

4:31

for your wedding day, you should want to invite all

4:33

the people that you care about and that you

4:36

are family and friends that you've known through the

4:38

years. Yeah, for sure. Really fun time to invite everybody.

4:40

You can all the must have people, but for the,

4:42

for the extra people that, you know, someone

4:44

may be leaning on you, Hey, say, uh, can,

4:46

uh, can, uh, my old friend Kolmar

4:49

can this person or that person, I mean

4:51

it's all up to you in the end, you and, um,

4:54

and your future spouse. But I don't, you know,

4:56

you can't go wrong unless you're pinching pennies

4:58

almost. You have to know some weddings,

5:01

you invite kids and you invite

5:03

everybody else. Right. It can be fun. It

5:05

was fun. Our wedding week, we had

5:07

kids who were closely

5:09

related to us, immediate dog, nieces, nephews,

5:11

nieces, nephews standing up in the wedding.

5:13

And we did, we did. And some extended

5:16

family. We just had them come cause we thought

5:18

it would be a great night out for them. And

5:20

they got babysitters for their kids and I worked out.

5:22

Yeah, it did. And then we've been on the other side where all

5:25

kids are there. They have a great time. Then you

5:27

see them on the dance floor and they're, they're, they're

5:29

loaded up on wedding cake and

5:31

they're dancing all night long. So I can see it both

5:33

ways. Sure. I can too. And then we've

5:35

actually seen it too. I've been to weddings before where

5:37

it is just adults. I mean everyone's 18

5:40

and older I would say. Right. And

5:42

that works too. Yeah, I guess that's where you're

5:44

not worried about little kids having a freak

5:46

outs or, or running up to the cake and

5:48

getting a finger full of ice. And

5:50

I mean of those worst case scenarios, but that doesn't

5:52

really necessarily happen. How often does that

5:54

happen? No parents that bring

5:56

their kids, keeping a close eye

5:58

on them and they're not going to let them go do go haywire.

6:02

Mostly your Eagleeye you're watching

6:05

after. Now that we have kids, we can see it a different

6:07

way. But of course it's a personal preference and, and

6:09

no one knows your, your relatives, your

6:11

family better than you do. And of course

6:13

their kids and uh, you know, and if

6:15

you wanted to buy them or not, and it is

6:18

also fun to have a date night and get all dressed up and

6:20

go to a wedding. Yeah, absolutely. You can stay out late.

6:22

You don't have to feel like you have to get back in time for the kids.

6:24

So yeah. Personal preference, personal preference.

6:27

Yes. Now what do you think about coworkers? Like

6:29

you see them, we did kind of touch on this

6:31

boat. You see them day to day and you're probably

6:33

not telling them all about your wedding that's coming up

6:35

because it's a big part of your life. Should

6:37

you have to invite them to your wedding. I think

6:39

the pros of inviting them

6:41

to your wedding is it's gonna fit

6:43

in with your office relationship or

6:45

your, uh, your relationship at work with

6:47

your, you know, your coworkers. I mean, you're

6:50

going to become closer friends, which is a

6:52

great thing. The only negative thing

6:54

is you're going to have to pay for them to come and they

6:56

really might not give you that big of a gift to even

6:58

cover their meal, their pros and cons.

7:00

Right. There are pros and cons and also if

7:02

you work in like a larger office, you

7:04

can't pick and choose who you

7:06

get to invite cause then it makes for really

7:08

awkward donuts and coffee the

7:11

next morning. It's kind of like the office, it's

7:13

that episode where um, everyone gets invited,

7:15

the Jim's party and they're all getting an email to

7:18

it except Michael and he's, he's

7:20

upset and he's bothered about

7:22

it cause he wasn't part of that. Yeah, that's definitely something

7:24

that you want to avoid, especially, you know, you wouldn't

7:26

want to not invite your boss and everybody

7:29

else. That is a good point

7:31

about your boss. If you're kind of close,

7:33

work closely with your boss and you

7:35

are inviting some coworkers, you definitely want

7:37

to extend an invitation. That's right. You'd want any bad

7:39

blood. Oh and another thing to remember and your

7:41

guest list is your parent's friends. It's

7:44

a really nice thing to do to

7:46

extend an invitation. Hey Mom and dad,

7:48

you can invite, you know, two of your closest friends

7:51

in a plus one and then do the same for

7:53

your future in laws. It's true. That's a

7:55

definitely a smart thing to do. I remember for our wedding

7:57

and our parents and my two friends that they've

7:59

had since they met and they were at

8:01

their wedding, so it'd be really fun to have your friends

8:04

at your kid's wedding celebrate

8:06

it. Yeah, I think most people do do that and that's,

8:08

that's great wise thing to do. You

8:10

know your parents went through all the effort to raise

8:12

you. Right, and they want

8:14

to show off some wonderful

8:17

party, invite a couple of their

8:19

friends. You may have to limit it, but it's smart.

8:21

It's do one or two a nice gesture.

8:23

They appreciate it for sure. Okay, now we

8:26

have a couple toughies. How about

8:28

the people who invited you to their wedding,

8:30

but you're not really that close anymore? What do you think

8:32

Andrew is we invited? That's a tough question.

8:35

It's a case by case basis or are you going

8:37

to see these people again and are you closed?

8:40

Of course you're going to probably already invite them

8:42

or they're going to be future wedding is down the line

8:44

that you may want to get invited to have theirs.

8:47

He might be a huge pool of friends,

8:50

all the friends and you got invited

8:52

to one of their weddings, but you're kind of like a,

8:54

I don't really want to invite them to my wedding, but hey,

8:57

when a one of them gets married a year from now, I want to go

8:59

to that. You better invite them. It's, it's

9:01

looking down the line years to come.

9:03

Do you want to have a relationship with them or do

9:05

you want him to come? Or are you saying I

9:07

want to save money and I only

9:10

want eliminate an amount of people there. And so you've only

9:12

got a list of a hundred people and your

9:14

venues, small, intimate,

9:17

um, these people aren't getting invited and

9:19

you just have to tell them the reason why is my

9:21

wedding venue, various mall. If you're

9:23

go in there, if not, it's going to be

9:25

a large wedding. It'll

9:28

be well worth it. Oh, what about people

9:30

that you're only friends with on social media? This

9:32

is kind of a new one. Yeah. If you're only

9:35

friends, you know, cause yeah, social media is such

9:37

a big thing. But I mean, I mean

9:39

I vote against that. Liking

9:41

their posts. You're not actually

9:44

seeing them in person or hearing their voice. I

9:46

don't think you have to extend an invitation. No,

9:49

absolutely not. And finally, you're going

9:51

to want to keep an open mind with your guest list.

9:53

If your families are suggesting, hey, you

9:55

want to invite this person or that person,

9:57

consider it, throw him an invite. And if your parents

10:00

are paying for the wedding guest list is

10:02

completely up to their discretion, right? Absolutely.

10:04

If you're lucky enough that they're helping you pay for your wedding,

10:07

yeah, absolutely. Don't be nitpicking their

10:09

suggestions. There's

10:11

gotta be a line in the sand that you don't want anyone

10:13

that cross. Right. And you and you're going to have that

10:16

know that for sure. There's going to be a line where

10:18

there's going to be where you're going to say no, and

10:21

that's great thing for you to have, but

10:23

just know it's not the end of the world. If

10:25

you invited a couple extra people, you

10:28

know another thing we didn't talk about him was the factor.

10:30

Your wedding guests may not all show up.

10:33

Oh a good point. Yeah. If you, if you are

10:35

expecting 200 people, you're probably looking

10:37

at more like one 75 so sometimes

10:40

it pays to invite a couple extra people

10:42

and then when you get your full account, you'll

10:45

be looking good. So if you add a couple

10:47

of extra people, it's, it's all gonna work

10:49

out in the end and you're still going to be below your

10:51

minimum amount. More than likely. Now that

10:53

we have your guest list picked out, we're going to talk

10:55

about people and another way your wedding

10:58

party wedding party looks

11:00

good. You love wedding parties.

11:02

Absolutely. So

11:07

much fun. Been a bridesmaid many

11:09

times. Twice.

11:12

Yeah and I've been a best man at once and a groomsman

11:14

a couple of times. Groomsmen a couple times. It's

11:16

awesome to be involved in a wedding

11:18

party. What's your favorite part of the wedding party? You

11:20

feel special enough, you feel a part

11:23

of the group, you feel like a part of the team. You

11:25

know you've had a, you've had a friend who

11:27

thinks so highly of you that they want you

11:29

in their, at their wedding party and that's, that

11:31

is the high point right there. It's

11:34

a lot of fun to be in. The wedding party is

11:36

quite an honor to be asked. So

11:38

how do you pick who's going to be in your wedding party can

11:41

be an easy decision or it can be

11:43

really tough because you don't want it. You don't want to hurt

11:45

any feelings, but sometimes you just gotta man

11:47

up. You've got a woman up and they

11:50

just got to pick people. The closest to friends,

11:53

friends, family, cousins, basically whoever

11:55

you thought you would, you would have one day stand

11:57

up in your wedding. That's who you want to have a

12:00

good question. I guess. Um, some of our listeners

12:02

may wonder is what number

12:04

do I have? I mean three people,

12:06

five people, 10 people. How

12:08

ridiculous can, again, it can, it can get,

12:11

can do. Huge, right? We've

12:13

been in big wedding parties, we've been in very small

12:15

wedding parties. You've seen it all. Sure. We were

12:17

at one wedding, was it 400 people? 400

12:19

guests, right. And 13

12:22

couples. Right. So there were 26 people

12:24

in the wedding party alone. Yeah. And that, and

12:27

that seems crazy, but there are big weddings

12:29

like that, but it was really fun. It was

12:31

fun. They had a huge party limo.

12:33

They did. It was really cool. It was right,

12:36

and then of course you could have, I mean, at the minimum,

12:38

right? You gotta have a maid of honor, a

12:40

best man, and then you probably want one

12:42

additional person. Right, right. Because bridesmaid

12:45

or groomsmen, right. Because you want a group

12:47

of people, you don't want to have it so small that you

12:49

don't really get a chance to enjoy it. You want to have a group

12:51

of people. It's fun to have that group and that

12:53

group gets to really enjoy your wedding and partake

12:56

in and all the festivities and and be part

12:58

of that close knit team, the the

13:00

bride and groom getting married. You know what I mean? Sometimes

13:02

it pays to keep friends by just having

13:04

them in your wedding party. Another thing is,

13:06

is don't let, don't small things. Maybe you've

13:09

had a, a small difference with a friend or

13:11

something like that. Don't let that keep them on your

13:13

wedding party. If normally your relationship

13:15

is absolutely great. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. If you hang out

13:17

with this person regularly, include them in your

13:19

wedding party. Absolutely. But if

13:22

the person's going to be bringing drama to your wedding,

13:25

Crawford, awesome. Now that's more trouble

13:27

than it's worth, right? Don't have any signed up in the

13:29

party, but heck, maybe they're coming as a

13:31

guest. Yeah. Anyone that's going to stress you

13:33

out, right for the purpose of stressing you

13:35

out. X is not worthy of wedding party

13:37

material. That's a solid, that's a solid

13:39

point. You don't want people who are going to stress you out

13:42

being part of your bridal party. And

13:44

of course, picking your best man. You're going to want someone

13:46

who can give a solid speech, someone

13:48

who's not going to embarrass. You don't want

13:50

them to tell a story and a crowd of people,

13:53

right? Yes. Right, right. So that goes

13:55

in big and trusting someone who's going to be

13:57

your best man. Yeah. Same goes for me to Vaugner. She's

13:59

going to have to give a speech at dinner. It

14:01

can be short and sweet, but she's got to give a good

14:03

one and she has to be ready to tell

14:05

a great story. So in conclusion,

14:08

on your guest list, keep it simple. Keep

14:10

it simple. Invite those close to you that

14:12

are going to make your wedding awesome. Absolutely.

14:14

And keep an open mind about inviting

14:16

guests. So that's the end of

14:19

our podcast. I want to give a quick shout out to our special

14:21

guests today. You guys didn't even know about Ruby.

14:24

Our puppy is laying in her feet. She's like

14:26

the quietest dog in the world. She is.

14:28

Yep. She's not going to bark for us right now. No, we

14:30

tried. We told her here, but she is. We said Ruby's

14:33

bake and she won't. She's asleep. She's frozen. But

14:35

anyways, thank you for listening and we hope

14:37

this helped you. Pick your guest list and your wedding party

14:40

and check us out on the blog at [inaudible] dot

14:42

com we have a really fun special

14:44

giveaway coming up on Tuesday. Oh, cool.

14:46

What is it? I can't tell you. You got to tune

14:48

in and you got to check out the blog. This

14:51

Andrew, and this is Emma from getting

14:53

married at Mlm, bride.com. See

14:55

you next week.

15:44

Okay.