“In short, love is an emotional bond. It’s not optional; it’s part of our biology,” affirms Figs in today’s episode about Attachment Styles. Have you ever thought about how we’re “useless” when we’re born? We can’t do anything for ourselves. Our ability to be emotionally bonded is an essential evolutionary solution to our need for relationship and connection for survival from our first day to our last. Our body is built to react if it seems like the person we’re bonded with is not available - Don’t fight your biology!

Usually people try to pathologize and find what’s wrong with themselves, or their partner in relationship. But the whole point is to learn how to love yourself...and to love your partner as you are. “You make sense. Your partner make sense. And all the people around you make sense.”

Figs explains one can divide most wounding in love into two sides of the same coin:

1. Ability to feel abandoned
2. Ability to feel rejected

If you didn’t have the ability to feel these two things, there would be something wrong!

He also covers the different emotional bonding styles which are a direct result of our biology. Ultimately, we’re all yearning for and deserve a “yummy, scrumptious, snuggly securely attached connection.”

Curious to learn who you are in love?  Check out Figs’ free relationship quiz at Empathi.com.

And remember: don’t use this information to beat yourself up! Listen and enjoy to find out what Figs means when he describes his own relationship with Teale as the “Dueling Geminis” and his thoughts on the phrase “happy wife, happy life.”