Do you present yourself one way in dating and then make a switch when you get comfortable (or uncomfortable!) in a relationship? Or maybe you’ve experienced this with someone you were dating or in a relationship with — they seem to be one person when you first meet them but then almost literally become another person after a while of being together. And we aren’t talking about just a dramatic Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde situation where someone flips into monster-mode. Maybe they just become clingy or distant or insecure or whatever the opposite is of who they presented to you in the beginning. (An example of this can be observed in the binge worthy Netflix show, LOVE IS BLIND.)

In this episode we talk about why this happens and how people match up like puzzle pieces based on what we call the ‘Love Persona’. Each of us has a Love Persona that we may not be conscious of. It’s been cultivated based on the defenses we developed as children to protect us against the big bad world. These emotional experiences lock us into patterns that teach us how to relate to others and put our “best face forward.”

Debra and Dr. Rob answer this listener question: 

Dear Deb & Dr. Rob-

I’m 38 and have been divorced three times. Well, one of those was an annulment I just went through with my third husband. He filed the annulment citing “fraud”!
I am so embarrassed. I am the most honest person you’ll ever meet! Anyway, my lawyer asked him to explain his reasoning and he finally sent me a text message saying that I wasn’t the woman who he thought he was marrying and that he felt deceived or hoodwinked because I “flipped the script on him”. Even though part of me wanted to drive over to his new apartment and tell him off but the other part of me realized that I’d kinda heard this before from my exes. Is this possible? Can I really be that different after getting married? 

Help!

*Nicollette 

They explain how Nicollette needs to do the inner work and let her true self come out so she can express it in relationships and make love last. Join us for this episode and learn something interesting about your own Love Persona! 

*named changed to protect privacy

Learn more about YOUR Love Persona and how it affects your intimate relationships. Watch our free class: https://empoweryr.com/sign-up-for-intro-to-empower-your-relationships-for-love