Episode Transcript
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Hello human who loves audio content.
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I am cosmic your favorite friendly neighborhood
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www.audibletrial.com
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slash planet M. And remember, cosmic
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you.
0:50
Now me tell you something about life on EOS 10.
0:53
What's new with First is
0:55
always expect the unexpected. space
0:57
dragon hatches from a chrysalis and telepathically
1:00
bonds with you after a few of colleagues before
1:02
being kidnapped by one armed zycathian who also
1:04
tried you. Well, you should have expected
1:06
something so unexpected. It's
1:08
the only way to survive there. Second is
1:11
if someone from House A rule is around, they
1:13
are always involved. I
1:15
can sense this is a What
1:18
do you know? How many things? You'll
1:20
have to be more specific. Tell us about your
1:22
friend the Zycathian. How
1:25
frugal snakes
1:27
come inside?
1:28
Well?
1:32
I'd hardly call him a friend,
1:34
an acquaintance. Someone met
1:36
in passing said hello
1:38
to once maybe, at a A
1:40
stranger really, to be honest. He
1:42
came on board, came straight to this deck,
1:44
straight to this section, and stayed here for 33 minutes,
1:47
before getting on a lift, heading to the promenade,
1:50
going to the arboretum, and then getting his off.
1:52
While in the infirmary, he had exactly
1:54
one visitor at 0300 hours. Circumstantial
1:58
evidence best. I'm Regarding
15:55
What
16:01
did I say? 20cc is anaprovaline!
16:04
Ow! Are you trying to get someone killed?
16:07
Ahh! What kind
16:09
of an answer is that? Look sharp, man! I
16:11
asked you a direct question!
16:13
Yeah, okay, we're all good. What the
16:15
hell was that? That guy walking by was staring
16:18
at us. I wanted to make sure we stayed in a character.
16:21
I don't think he noticed anything.
16:23
I just don't get why you're posing as the doctor and I'm
16:25
the nurse. Who's in charge here? You
16:28
are? You are? Guess you have your answer
16:31
then. NURSE! Are you stupid?
16:33
Can't you read that order? What does that say?
16:37
Ooh. Okay, they're gone. This
16:40
is a busy hallway. Maybe we should wait somewhere
16:42
else.
16:43
I wish you'd stop yelling at me. I'm playing a
16:45
doctor. I can't. Ahem.
16:48
Excuse me. Excuse me.
16:49
Hello. Fabulous day.
16:53
What's new with all of you? Dr. Jones,
16:55
novice nurse dahlias. to
16:58
third floor west. Lab two
17:00
please. Third floor west.
17:03
Thank you.
17:06
Oh hell.
17:17
Finally, what
17:20
took you so long? I had to yell at Ryan
17:22
in front of a group of passing medical students.
17:24
Took some time. Well, behold
17:27
my success. Who
17:30
the hell are they? I give you three
17:32
suspicious patients. A
17:34
former Earth Senator with two missing
17:36
toes. A Latarian basket
17:39
weaver in cobbler farm air with a missing
17:41
arm. An internet miner and
17:43
renowned philanthropist from Colossus
17:46
who now has just a bloody stub
17:49
where a foot should be. Each arrived
17:52
in the sector two days ago when he
17:54
showed up with suspicious
17:56
injuries and quite vague explanations
17:59
as
17:59
to what happened. Coincidence?
18:03
I think Lord.
18:06
Hm-hm.
18:06
Can they hear us? No! This
18:09
is an observation lab, and that is a two-way
18:11
mirror. I'm so excited.
18:13
I could almost burst. You were
18:15
able to convince someone to not only tell you who these
18:18
people were, but then you dragged them out of the rooms
18:20
and all the way up to this lab? I'm very persuasive.
18:23
I thought it was perfect for interrogation. Oh, whoa!
18:25
Hold on, wait.
18:26
I'll break them! Okay, they are already broken. Xander,
18:29
how did you do this? Dr. Dallius,
18:32
I was renowned on R and seven for
18:34
my ability to convince others
18:36
to do my bidding. There may also be
18:38
various employees of this ward and others
18:41
tied up in various closets across
18:43
the hospital. We should free them
18:45
when we're done, if you like.
18:47
Well, we're on a pretty tight schedule,
18:50
we'll see.
18:52
Perhaps even this closet. Oh my God.
18:55
Jane, maybe
18:58
I should do the questioning. Why? They've
19:00
got the info we need. I'll get it from them. Don't
19:03
you worry your giant pretty little forehead
19:05
about it. That causes wrinkles and well,
19:08
you are not getting any younger. Be
19:11
right back.
19:15
Did she get any answers? Not
19:18
immediately, no. She just went in the room and paced
19:20
in front of them, silent, staring for a good 20
19:23
minutes.
19:24
Wow. It was like watching
19:27
a maestro at work. Virtuosic
19:29
talent. I mean, finally she stopped in front
19:31
of bloody stuff, just gawking,
19:34
assessing every crevice on his face and every
19:36
blue spot along his temples. Still
19:39
inside that eye, I was tempted to cut in and tell her
19:42
to get on with it, but you know, I was kind of mesmerized.
19:45
Then she cocked her head to the side, just a centimeter,
19:47
and I slid just as far forward on
19:49
the edge of my chair.
19:51
If I'd had popcorn, it would have stopped halfway to
19:53
my mouth, you know? She started
19:55
to speak and I was holding my breath. Okay,
19:58
I'm sorry, I'm- I'm so sorry, I'll tell
20:01
you everything. Everything you wanna know. I'm just...
20:03
I'm so sorry. For God's sakes, man. Shut
20:06
up! It's just so scary. Scary
20:08
than the thing that took your foot, bloody stuff?
20:10
That's not my name! Answer me or I'll tell
20:13
anyone will ever remember about you! Oh, God,
20:15
what does that mean? Oh, she's
20:18
bluffing. She's what?
20:22
Mr. Former Earth Senator?
20:24
I'm sorry. I don't
20:27
think I heard you correctly. Did you say
20:29
she's bluffing? No. What?
20:32
What was that? No! No! No,
20:34
of course not.
20:37
Good. I didn't think so. Alright,
20:40
gentlemen. Are you all gonna get
20:42
on board the Jane train with me, or do I
20:44
have to lock that door so Dr. Dallius
20:47
can't get in here?
20:49
I'm gonna get
20:51
them into this. They're just under- Oh my god, they're- And then
20:53
they're just so big, and then when you
20:56
go into them and try to feed them, they're just like- and
20:58
then we get, you know, people come
21:00
in and they can just die, then we
21:02
have the all-ch
21:14
Where
21:25
is it? We're
21:26
expecting to receive coordinates any moment
21:28
now. It's kept secret into the last possible
21:31
moment. Oh, it's soon. Tonight.
21:35
It's tonight, but it does you little good to
21:37
know. The auction is inaccessible
21:39
without an invitation. Well,
21:44
must be my lucky day, because
21:47
I need three tickets to this auction and I just stumbled
21:49
upon three people who are suddenly
21:52
too unwell to attend!
21:54
Oh, or they will be when I'm finished with
21:57
them, if you know what I mean.
22:12
Three invitations to secret auction, check!
22:15
Now we just wait for the coordinates. Oh,
22:18
this is going so well. Frankly, I'm
22:20
shocked.
22:20
Yeah, well, the hardest part is still ahead of us.
22:23
Yeah, well, the hardest part is still ahead of us. Can
22:25
you not stop to celebrate
22:27
for even a moment?
22:29
Now go change Dr. Dalleus.
22:31
If I'm going to be seen with you among who's
22:33
who, I must insist on approving
22:36
your attire. My what?
22:38
Your formal wear, Doctor.
22:41
My formal wear? I
22:43
didn't bring any form-
22:44
Did you guys both? For the love of- By
22:47
all the moons! Go check my luggage.
22:49
The fourth smallest travel case, not the Burgundy
22:52
set, the server set. You'll find
22:54
something in there you can wear.
23:01
Can
23:03
you believe him? Goes to show you
23:05
how few formal events he's had to sneak
23:07
into on a sudden whim. I never
23:10
go anywhere without a full-length sequin
23:12
gown and sensible yet alluring shoes.
23:14
Oh, he's hopeless. I bet you
23:16
look ravishing in sequins. I
23:18
do! Yes, thank you! And yeah,
23:20
Ryan, ugh, so hopeless!
23:24
I thought about putting him down, you
23:26
know, ease his suffering. Every day
23:28
I wake up and I think, is this it? Is
23:31
this the day I kill Ryan Dallius?
23:36
Well, is it? Is it what? Is it the
23:38
day? Oh, I don't know. It's
23:41
not over yet. Hmm, I
23:43
see. No, come on!
23:46
I mean, how could I ever? Unless I
23:48
had to. Perhaps if he turned evil again.
23:50
Oh yeah, well then I'd kill him
23:52
on the spot, dance on his windpipe and all
23:54
that. Oh, make a trophy of his spies!
23:57
Yeah, that's what I meant! I-I-I
23:59
feel bad. about it.
24:03
It's the eyes, you know he's got
24:05
those eyes. Am
24:08
I right? Oh I thought I was the only one
24:10
that noticed I didn't want to say
24:12
anything.
24:13
He looks at me with those
24:15
eyes. Oh the depths of the ocean. And
24:17
I'm just powerless. And I can't even swim.
24:19
I just fall, he's got the power. I shall
24:21
be careful with him or I might Drow! Oh,
24:24
yeah! Ugh! What
24:26
were we talking about?
24:31
Yeah, I tried swimming lessons, you know. On
24:35
Ensign Quokka's advice, he said I might like
24:37
the pool in the station recreational
24:39
complex. That's what he said. But
24:41
it didn't work. I just... I
24:43
just sunk, you see, like an omelet
24:46
stone. I don't know, Ensign
24:48
Quokka. I don't know an Ensign Quokka.
24:50
And no one shall ever
24:53
know an Ensign Quokka. Ahem.
24:57
Oh my god, my god. Damn. Moon, that's
24:59
not even here. Sleep much. Yeah.
25:01
This is all I found. It smells
25:03
vaguely of spent trilithium and gimchas.
25:06
How do I look?
25:08
What is that daring
25:10
and disquieting color? Blue-ish?
25:16
I don't know. I know clothes, I live in scrubs,
25:18
I mean I know one color, white. Okay,
25:21
and occasionally red. Green,
25:23
purple. Lieutenant Barakas blood was yellow
25:26
for reasons I could never figure out, but you know he's dead
25:28
now, so I guess it doesn't matter, I guess. I
25:31
mean, I just, I just, I
25:33
say things, I mean they just come out of my mouth
25:35
and I can't stop them. From the costume
25:38
closet it's Shayla V. Levi cataloged
25:40
everything and kept spectacular records. Obsessive,
25:43
compulsive, if you ask me. Let me look.
25:46
Ah, this color is called
25:49
Baby Blue.
45:52
We're
46:00
never gonna make it. I'm open to ideas! Ha!
46:03
Really? Any ideas? Any ideas
46:05
at all? Third, fourth tier ideas,
46:07
we are all open for ideas here!
46:09
Uh, that star chart he was showing
46:11
off at the auction. Yeah? Interface, did we get
46:13
a visual of it? Indeed we did. Show
46:16
us. There, the
46:18
Larry believed he was from this proto-system
46:20
in Deep Gamma 6. Into the void? Into
46:23
the void. Oh hell yes! Laying
46:26
in the course now. We're directing secondary
46:28
power to hold polarization. Interface.
46:31
Analyze the plasma waveforms in the void's outer shell.
46:33
Maybe you can get us a smoother flight path through. On
46:35
it. What? Excuse me, what
46:37
is happening? We're
46:38
taking the dragon home! Incoming
46:41
missile.
46:42
Oh! Oh! If
46:44
we make it, that is.
46:47
I don't think I've ever talked to anyone who's
46:50
actually been inside the void.
46:52
It's a dark nebula, six light years
46:54
across at its widest point. Getting
46:57
through the outer dust cloud, it actually wasn't
46:59
as bad as I thought. And then once we were
47:01
inside, just nothing.
47:04
A handful of protostars, but beyond that, darkness.
47:08
Oh, that must have been disorienting.
47:10
Yeah, especially coupled with the fact that we were
47:12
being chased by a homicidal black market auctioneer
47:15
in a very impressive starship. For
47:17
a while, I even thought we had an advantage. I
47:20
didn't think he'd really destroy us with the dragon
47:22
on board. and
47:24
you know for most of the chase it was like he was just
47:26
a big cat batting around a mouse. You
47:29
pick that one up from Commander Johns? Yeah
47:33
well she does rub off on you. ETA?
47:37
Six minutes. Oh!
47:40
Chaw while they're just went the engine. Our ETA
47:42
is a lot longer now. Will V.S.I.F. defeated
47:45
the Magistrate
47:45
of E.S.10. I take so much in that
47:48
you know I will not have gone silently
47:50
into the- Shut up, Xander! Structural integrity
47:52
has fallen to critical levels. Oh,
47:55
structural integrity has dropped below 20%. All
47:57
right, just open a channel. Let me talk to him.
47:59
Right. We can't! We don't have a choice! Oh,
48:02
channel open! No response! Structural
48:05
integrity has dropped to seven percent? Ugh!
48:08
Abandon ship! Go! Oh my, all the moons
48:10
is there time to grab my gawl! No!
48:13
What about me? Go back into your sphere. One of
48:15
us will carry you out. Are you sure? Interverse,
48:17
I won't protect you as though you are my own kin!
48:20
Oh, well, now don't say that. Now I am really
48:22
not- I beg your pardon? How many times
48:25
have you tried to kill your own brother? Zero!
48:27
Successfully! There's no time for this
48:29
sphere now! Oh fine! Come
48:32
on!
48:33
Pod 1
48:37
is not functioning. Pod 2
48:40
is online! Get inside. You
48:42
will not have to tell me twice. See you
48:44
today!
48:47
Pod 3 online? I'll try 4. Pod 4
48:52
is not functioning. Ah, um, okay. We
48:55
can both fit. No, Ryan, really. It'll
48:57
be tight, but you'll just have to suck in that
48:59
gut of yours and Jane the life support
49:02
system can't sustain us both Yeah,
49:04
you're
49:04
right. You're right. Okay? Okay,
49:07
then get in what that's an order No, that's
49:10
that's that is getting real old real fast now You
49:12
know who I thought of those years get in the
49:14
pod Jane order yelling It
49:17
doesn't make me more likely to do it don't make
49:19
me shoot you again get in the pot I
49:22
don't even I
49:22
mean look at this thing. I don't even see
49:24
the launch controls. How do I what what right? What?
49:27
Where? They are right! Oh my god!
49:29
Even Xander figured this out! Whoa!
49:32
Hey, Ryan! Ryan, what are you doing? Let
49:34
me out of here right now! I can't do
49:36
that. I gave you an
49:38
order! Court-martial me. It's
49:41
okay. It's okay. I
49:43
couldn't leave him here alone anyway. He can
49:46
survive in space. You can't! Let me
49:48
out of here. Take care of
49:50
Xander, okay? And tell
49:52
the captain I'm sorry that I had to break my promise. He's
49:54
gonna be so mad at me. Ryan, no! Come
49:57
on! You can fit! It'll be fine,
49:59
we'll- You will breathe slow or you
50:01
can just hold your breath. You are a swimmer, Ryan.
50:05
Sorry I'm not gonna be there to see all the great things you're
50:07
gonna do. Sorry
50:09
I won't be there to get to see you step fully
50:12
into your power, I have been waiting for that.
50:13
Ryan. Please.
50:18
Thanks for being my friend. You
50:20
have no idea how much that meant to me. Ryan.
50:25
Come on, I have owed you this one. Ryan
50:27
James Dallas let me out of here right
50:29
now! Hey
50:37
it's okay it's really okay it's okay. I
50:40
know I'm scared too. I
50:42
know I know hey you
50:44
want a song? Yeah what should I
50:46
what should I sing something? There's um there's
50:48
an old old sailor song. Usually
50:51
they used to sing it on the last day of the voyage that
50:53
seems appropriate huh?
51:03
I thought I heard the
51:06
old man say, Leave
51:09
her, John, need
51:11
leave her, For
51:13
tomorrow you
51:15
will get your pay,
51:18
But it's
51:19
time for us to
51:21
leave her. Leave
51:26
her, Johnny,
51:27
leave her Oh, leave
51:31
her, Johnny, leave
51:34
her For the voyage
51:36
is long and the winds
51:39
don't blow But it's time
51:41
for us to-
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