What if Dear Abby and Dear Prudence were a giant two headed monster?"We (Violet & Petunia, the ettin) answer questions and give advice on topics such as:"What exactly constitutes a town, and why exactly does that not enclude basically anything monster owned and operated?""What are your thoughts on necromancy as a renewable source of minions?""Is that screaming coming from *my* basement?"Other points include:The bias inherent in non-monster produced bestiaries.Bridging the gaps between adventurers and monsters, in the hopes of curbing some of the more reckless murder.The best way to cook via murder hole.