0:00

Love lifts us up.

0:00

Love is all around. All you need

0:06

is love. What would any human

0:06

life be without that ineffable

0:11

sense of devotion, affection,

0:11

compassion, and connection?

0:17

You're listening to the

0:17

Eudaemonia podcast. I'm Kim

0:20

Forrester and today we're going

0:20

to lift the lid on nurturing,

0:24

healing love.

0:28

Welcome to Eudaemonia,

0:28

the podcast that is all about

0:31

flourishing. Plug in, relax and

0:31

get ready for the goodness as we

0:36

explore the traits and practices

0:36

that can help you thrive in life

0:40

... with your host Kim

0:40

Forrester.

0:47

Scarlett lewis is

0:47

a mother, accomplished artist,

0:51

activist for peace, and founder

0:51

of the Jesse Lewis Choose Love

0:55

foundation, which she created in

0:55

honour of her son who was killed

0:59

in the Sandy Hook Elementary

0:59

School massacre of December

1:02

2012. Scarlett's story and

1:02

Jessie's inspiring legacy is

1:08

captured in her book, "Nurturing

1:08

Healing Love: A Mother's Journey

1:12

of Hope and Forgiveness". It's

1:12

my honour to be chatting with

1:17

Scarlett today, to explore the

1:17

unparalleled power of love and

1:22

to learn how we can each amplify

1:22

peace, embrace compassion, and

1:27

consciously choose love in our

1:27

lives and in our world. Scarlett

1:32

Lewis, welcome to the Eudaemonia

1:32

podcast. It is my delight to

1:36

have you here with us today. How

1:36

are things with you?

1:39

Oh, they're

1:39

wonderful. Thank you so much.

1:41

It's so wonderful to be here,

1:42

The book that you

1:42

write, Jesse's legacy, so

1:46

incredibly inspiring, and I

1:46

actually want to start by

1:50

defining love. And I actually

1:50

truly believe that it is

1:53

extremely difficult to define

1:53

love. It is so ineffable. So I'm

1:58

going to ask you the question

1:58

this way. What is the opposite

2:02

of love in your experience?

2:05

You know, I

2:05

would say ... and sometimes I

2:08

define love as I'm speaking to

2:08

my audience, as connection. Love

2:15

is connection. Love is

2:15

belonging. Jessie defined love

2:21

on our kitchen chalkboard

2:21

shortly before he was murdered

2:25

as "nurturing, healing love".

2:25

And so if I would define love -

2:32

which is the exact opposite of

2:32

what you asked me - as

2:35

connection, then I would define

2:35

the opposite of love as

2:39

disconnection, as not belonging.

2:44

Wow, that is so

2:44

simple in its purity. From the

2:49

moment tragedy entered your

2:49

life, that day at Sandy Hook

2:52

Elementary, you actually seem to

2:52

have been anchored into this

2:56

deep well of love. Reading your

2:56

story, it's almost like you

3:01

leant into love, you leant into

3:01

compassion, you leant into

3:05

connection straightaway. What

3:05

would you say is the source of

3:12

that love? Did it flow into you

3:12

from outside of you somewhere,

3:16

or was it embedded somewhere

3:16

inside, deep in your soul? So,

3:22

to put it simply, if we are to

3:22

look for love in our darkest

3:26

moments, where do we begin to

3:26

look for it?

3:29

Well, I'll tell

3:29

you where I started - with being

3:33

present in the moment; where

3:33

life is happening, with my

3:38

children, and with those who

3:38

were close to me. And I will

3:43

also say I have a deep faith in

3:43

God and I believe that love

3:52

never ends. I believe that our

3:52

connection continues, even if

3:58

our loved ones pass. And of

3:58

course, it's especially

4:02

difficult to lose a child. But I

4:02

believe that that connection

4:07

continues. It's not the kind of

4:07

relationship that we want, or

4:12

we're used to, but that it

4:12

continues forever. And so you

4:17

know, the loss was not a

4:17

complete one for me and that

4:23

really carried me through.

4:25

Once again, you're going back to that connection; the understanding

4:27

that Jesse is and remains with

4:32

you all around you. You actually

4:32

describe in your book, Nurturing

4:36

Healing Love, the multiple ways

4:36

that Jessie made his presence

4:42

known after he passed. There

4:42

were flickering lights, and

4:45

balloon hearts, and his young

4:45

cousin chatting to him. Yeah, I

4:51

agree with you. I truly believe

4:51

that love is more powerful than

4:55

we can comprehend and it must

4:55

sit somehow beyond space-time.

5:02

What have you learned about the

5:02

true power of love and how has

5:06

this awareness changed the way

5:06

that you step through life,

5:11

Scarlett?

5:13

The true power

5:13

of love is, I believe, taking

5:18

responsibility and having the

5:18

courage to be present in life,

5:26

to what is the reality. And to

5:26

also doing your part in helping

5:34

make the world a better place. I

5:34

think this is really important.

5:38

And it wasn't that important to

5:38

me before my personal tragedy. I

5:44

will admit that I watched what

5:44

was going on in my world, I knew

5:50

what was going on, I was aware,

5:50

but I did not think that I had

5:56

the power to do anything about

5:56

it, or to create change. And

6:03

what I've realised - and by the

6:03

way, it did take a tremendous

6:09

personal tragedy for me to get

6:09

where I needed to be - but I see

6:16

now, what one person can do; the

6:16

tremendous change that one

6:21

person can have on our world.

6:21

And if everyone would rise to

6:28

the occasion - and hopefully not

6:28

need a tragedy in their life,

6:33

like I do, but maybe realise

6:33

through my example that it can

6:39

happen - that one individual is

6:39

powerful, then we will all be

6:44

responsible for what's going on

6:44

in our world. And we can create

6:48

the world that we want to live

6:48

in.

6:52

Yeah, you've

6:52

spoken a couple of times about

6:55

being present about finding love

6:55

here, now, in this moment. And

7:00

you're also speaking there of us

7:00

actively going out and

7:03

amplifying love; sending out

7:03

ripples of compassion and

7:08

forgiveness and love into the

7:08

world. And so it makes me

7:10

wonder, many life enhancing

7:10

traits and practices are found

7:15

in the stillness, Scarlett. In

7:15

that presence. In that

7:19

quietness. Is love the same? Is

7:19

it easier to find love in quiet

7:25

moments or is it easier for us

7:25

to express it, to feel it, to

7:30

amplify it when we are

7:30

activating it; when we are being

7:34

active in our joy, and our

7:34

connection, and our compassion?

7:38

That's such an

7:38

amazing question. And I think,

7:43

previously, I found love in

7:43

action. I was always moving,

7:54

always in the middle of a bunch

7:54

of people and friends, always

7:59

trying to create or be a part of

7:59

joyous occasions. And that's

8:05

where I found love. And I think

8:05

that following the tragedy - and

8:09

I've learned so much and we do

8:09

we grow through difficulty, that

8:15

is what we do as human beings -

8:15

and I have found that love is

8:21

also in stillness. Love is also

8:21

in those quiet moments. Love is

8:28

also what we see when we're

8:28

alone. And I think that I, like

8:35

many people, might have had a

8:35

little bit of fear of being

8:40

alone and stillness before. And

8:40

then it came to me. It was

8:47

almost forced on me following

8:47

the loss of my six year old son.

8:51

I mean, Jesse was bouncing off

8:51

the walls with joy and happiness

8:56

and laughter. Our home was

8:56

filled with energy. And I

9:01

remember walking back in the

9:01

door without him and fearing

9:07

that stillness, fearing the

9:07

quiet. And, you know, somehow

9:14

finding ... sitting there

9:14

accepting it, being present with

9:18

it, and ultimately finding

9:18

solace in it. You know, and that

9:25

leads me to talking about this

9:25

pandemic, because going into the

9:30

pandemic, there was an epidemic

9:30

of loneliness, where I know that

9:35

half of Americans were saying

9:35

that they were lonely, and 18 to

9:38

24 year olds were saying that

9:38

they were lonelier than senior

9:41

citizens. And, you know, I think

9:41

it's important that we remember

9:46

that loneliness starts as a

9:46

thought in our head. It doesn't

9:52

start in the heart. It doesn't

9:52

start in the tummy. The thought

9:56

may travel to the heart that

9:56

also has brain cells that might

10:01

hurt with that thought. And it

10:01

might travel to our tummy that

10:05

also has brain cells that might

10:05

clench with a thought. And then

10:09

that starts the negative loop.

10:09

But if we could understand that

10:15

it starts with a thought, and a

10:15

thought can be changed, then we

10:21

can sit with it and realise that

10:21

it's not our enemy, that it's

10:25

our friend, and that we can

10:25

learn from it. Actually, this is

10:29

how the Choose Love Movement

10:29

started. It was at Jesse's

10:34

funeral, when I got up to speak.

10:34

And I said, "This whole tragedy

10:39

started with an angry thought,

10:39

in a young man's head. And the

10:45

amazing thing to me is that a

10:45

thought can be changed." So I

10:48

asked everybody in the

10:48

congregation to start thinking

10:51

about what they think about and

10:51

to change one angry thought a

10:54

day into a loving thought. I

10:54

said, "By doing that, it will

10:59

make you feel better." Pretty

10:59

simple - love feels good, anger

11:04

feels bad. It will positively

11:04

impact those around you and,

11:08

through the ripple effect, it

11:08

will make this a safer, more

11:11

peaceful and loving world. And

11:11

so everyone that day went out to

11:14

the four corners of the United

11:14

States and started calling me,

11:18

emailing me, texting me about a

11:18

week later saying that one

11:22

simple act had completely

11:22

changed their lives. And I knew

11:26

that I was on to something and

11:26

that was the genesis of the

11:30

Choose Love Movement.

11:31

See, even there,

11:31

you're bringing us back into the

11:33

stillness. Because in order for

11:33

us to become aware of what we're

11:36

thinking, we need space, we need

11:36

the stillness. So I love that

11:41

really love can certainly be

11:41

found in those quiet moments of

11:46

self reflection, of meditation,

11:46

of prayer, and just quietening

11:52

the world around us. Talk about

11:52

quiet, though, Jesse was not a

11:56

quiet boy by the sounds of

11:56

things. You know, throughout the

11:59

book, there's this exuberance,

11:59

this joy for life that bounces

12:04

off the pages. And among the

12:04

many lessons that Jessie brings

12:08

to us, he certainly highlights

12:08

how to embrace the moments of

12:13

our life. What is the most

12:13

important lesson you've learned,

12:18

Scarlett, about loving life

12:18

itself?

12:21

I have learned

12:21

that it's a choice. There you

12:25

go. A choice that we all have as

12:25

human beings, and maybe one that

12:34

we have to make several times a

12:34

day. But ultimately, it is a

12:40

choice.

12:41

Hence why you

12:41

called it Choose Love. Putting

12:44

the power back inside people.

12:44

They say that hurt people hurt

12:49

people, Scarlett, and certainly

12:49

I can see that any quest, any

12:54

endeavour, that we have to

12:54

amplify love in the world must

12:59

include the amplification of

12:59

self love. How has your love of

13:04

self changed since you started

13:04

embracing and sharing Jesse's

13:10

I will tell you

13:10

that my self love has amplified

13:10

legacy? because that's what grows in

13:16

those moments of stillness. But

13:22

when your self love grows, your

13:22

capacity for loving others grows

13:29

as well. And I looked at my

13:29

son's murderer - and there was

13:36

so much contempt for him so much

13:36

hatred, so much blame -and I

13:44

looked at his life and I

13:44

realised that it was riddled

13:50

with pain, and isolation,

13:50

bullying, abuse. And because I

14:01

was able to love myself, I was

14:01

able to love him as well. And in

14:07

doing so, it freed me of anger,

14:07

and blame, and hatred that so

14:18

many were feeling. And I was

14:18

able to feel compassion for him.

14:23

I was able to forgive him. And

14:23

that's probably the most

14:28

important part of my healing

14:28

journey, is forgiveness and even

14:34

compassion and love for the

14:34

murderer. Because I realised

14:38

that, because his entire life

14:38

was filled with disconnection,

14:45

it could have been changed. It

14:45

could have been stopped. Because

14:50

it started with a thought, that

14:50

thought could have been changed

14:55

at any place during his life.

14:55

And so what I do today is as

15:01

much for those people that are

15:01

in tremendous pain as it is for

15:06

the Jesse's of the world.

15:08

You speak there

15:08

of this incredible step towards

15:12

compassion and love. And I say

15:12

incredible because, in an ideal

15:15

world, it's something that we

15:15

could all embrace and we could

15:17

all undertake. But the fact is,

15:17

you represent a small minority

15:23

of humanity who have been able

15:23

to truly embody that

15:28

forgiveness, and that

15:28

compassion, and that movement

15:31

into love. For the rest of us

15:31

mere mortals, Scarlett, if we

15:36

can't find it in our hearts -

15:36

yet - if we can't find it in our

15:41

hearts yet to love someone who

15:41

we regard as the enemy, who we

15:45

regard as the other, what would

15:45

you encourage us to reach for

15:50

that at least points us in the

15:50

right direction? If we can't

15:55

find love and compassion for

15:55

someone else, is there something

16:00

we can reach for that at least

16:00

places us on the love spectrum?

16:05

Absolutely. In

16:05

fact, we're all on the love

16:08

spectrum. But I think that it's

16:08

important to understand that

16:13

every decision that we make,

16:13

even the decision to hate

16:16

someone, each decision that we

16:16

make, the foundation is grounded

16:20

in love, or fear. So we have to

16:20

realise that and we we have to

16:26

understand that when we blame

16:26

someone else, when we finger

16:30

point, when we feel hatred

16:30

towards another person, that is

16:37

based in fear. And we can choose

16:37

love in that situation. How do

16:46

we move from fear to love? Well,

16:46

I know that for me, the formula

16:54

for choosing love that we teach

16:54

is what I pull out every single

16:59

day and refer to, and it's

16:59

starts with courage. Courage is

17:06

the most important character

17:06

value because it underlies all

17:09

the rest. How do we move from

17:09

fear? Obviously, that would take

17:14

courage. And I love that science

17:14

tells us that courage is like a

17:18

muscle, and we can practice it

17:18

and strengthen our courage to be

17:24

able to make that choice. And

17:24

Jesse is a great example of

17:29

courage. Jessie's brave actions

17:29

saved nine of his classmates

17:35

lives before losing his own

17:35

during his final moments. And

17:40

you can think, wow, so Jessie

17:40

was a six year old little boy, a

17:46

gunman shot his way into his

17:46

school, the loudspeaker was on,

17:51

everyone heard what was going

17:51

on. The shooter, a former

17:56

student whose mother had taught

17:56

at the school, murdered his

18:00

principal and counsellor right

18:00

outside his open classroom door,

18:05

and then turned into his

18:05

classroom and started open

18:08

firing. And even during that

18:08

chaos, Jesse had the presence of

18:15

mind to direct his classmates to

18:15

run. And they said because he

18:20

told them to run, that they were

18:20

saved. And then he lost his

18:24

life. And I think that in

18:24

remembering that, we can

18:30

understand that we all have the

18:30

capacity for courage that Jesse

18:35

showed. Every single one of us.

18:35

And, by the way, hopefully, none

18:41

of us, including myself, will

18:41

ever be in a situation like

18:45

Jesse was in. But I'm talking

18:45

about the everyday courage that

18:51

it takes sometimes just to get

18:51

out of bed and put our best foot

18:54

forward. The courage that it

18:54

takes to be vulnerable, the

18:59

courage that it takes to be our

18:59

best self, to be our authentic

19:04

self. The courage that it takes

19:04

to tell the truth, to be kind

19:08

when someone's not being kind to

19:08

us, to face our fear instead of

19:13

avoiding it and numbing

19:13

ourselves. That's the courage

19:16

I'm talking about. So we can

19:16

practice that courage every day.

19:21

And then the formula goes into

19:21

gratitude. Being grateful, we

19:26

have tens of thousands of

19:26

thoughts that go through our

19:29

head every single day. And

19:29

because of our inherent negative

19:33

bias, the majority of those

19:33

thoughts are negative and

19:36

repetitive. And so when we're

19:36

ready to switch out of that

19:42

negative thinking, we can choose

19:42

something to be grateful for.

19:45

When it shifts our way of

19:45

thinking, it shifts the focus of

19:49

our lens immediately to what

19:49

we're grateful for. And then

19:53

that strengthens us actually

19:53

neuro-scientifically to forgive.

19:59

And it's interesting, because

19:59

when you understand forgiveness,

20:02

you know that it's not a gift

20:02

that you give somebody that's

20:05

undeserving, that hurts you.

20:05

It's a gift that you give

20:09

yourself, and it frees you. It

20:09

gives you your personal power

20:14

back. I know that because I

20:14

practised it following Jesse's

20:18

murder. And it is the key to

20:18

healthy relationships. And

20:25

Harvard University said in their

20:25

lifespan study, that healthy

20:30

relationships are the key to

20:30

happiness. And then forgiveness

20:34

... I'll tell you the last

20:34

character value in the formula.

20:37

It's compassion in action. So

20:37

once we have our freedom, that

20:43

allows us to step outside of our

20:43

busy-ness, distraction, even our

20:48

own pain and suffering, and help

20:48

somebody else. And when we've

20:52

done that, we have chosen love.

20:52

And we have positively impacted

20:58

ourselves, and others as well,

20:58

and done our part to make the

21:02

world a better place.

21:03

Love is embedded

21:03

in our pop culture, right? Every

21:08

third song is about love. Movies

21:08

are about love. Poems are about

21:13

love. And I do wonder though, if

21:13

the love that we absorb on a

21:17

daily basis is some what

21:17

misconstrued. What fallacies do

21:23

you notice in our society about

21:23

what love is and how to express

21:28

it?

21:29

I think the

21:29

fallacy that I notice the most

21:32

is that people focus on love as

21:32

romantic love. You hear it in

21:39

every genre of music - love as

21:39

the romantic love. And love is

21:47

so much more. Love is in

21:47

everything that we do, every

21:54

day. Love comes through our eyes

21:54

at what we see. It's nature.

22:01

It's being with our children,

22:01

it's fixing lunch for them, it's

22:07

getting them off to school. It's

22:07

showing up at work as your best

22:12

self. It's helping a friend

22:12

through a problem. It's fixing

22:17

dinner at night, it's cleaning

22:17

the dishes. It's getting

22:22

yourself to bed early and doing

22:22

a meditation. It's so much. Love

22:29

is everywhere. And I think that

22:29

one of the things we don't

22:34

realise is that love is in

22:34

everything, and we we

22:41

compartmentalise it. And we

22:41

don't need to do that. Because

22:46

once we open our worldview of

22:46

love, we realise that it's all

22:51

around us all the time. And it's

22:51

encapsulated in micro-moments of

22:57

joy that all of us have every

22:57

day. But we're so busy, so

23:04

distracted, that we don't notice

23:04

them. And I'm not talking about

23:07

the joy that hits you over the

23:07

head. I'm talking about the

23:10

little micro moments that you

23:10

pass right by that you don't

23:15

even notice. For instance, last

23:15

fall, it was the last rose of

23:20

summer. I love roses. I live on

23:20

Wild Rose Farm and I have roses

23:25

all over, wild and cultured. And

23:25

I was walking from my car

23:30

inside. Oh, my mind is filled, I

23:30

am rushing as usual to another

23:35

interview, and I pass the last

23:35

rose of summer. And on that

23:42

occasion, I recognised it as a

23:42

micro-moment of joy. I paused. I

23:49

actually cut that rose and I

23:49

brought it with me inside. I put

23:53

it in a beautiful vase, I

23:53

smelled it, I looked at the

23:57

colour, I rejoiced in it. And

23:57

then I put it on my desk and I

24:04

shared it with probably

24:04

thousands of other people that I

24:08

spoke to that week when I was

24:08

doing my Zooms. And I shared it

24:12

and I said, "Here's my last rose

24:12

of summer. Isn't it beautiful?"

24:15

And it got so much mileage

24:15

because I took the time to

24:19

recognise a micro-moment of joy.

24:19

And I encourage your listeners

24:24

to do that as well because

24:24

they're all around you every

24:27

day. Recognise them and savour

24:27

them.

24:30

We've come back

24:30

to that mindfulness, that

24:33

presence again, for you to even

24:33

notice the rose. And then

24:36

stepping toward gratitude. I

24:36

love that so much, Scarlett. But

24:40

tell me this, can we love too

24:40

hard? Is it possible for us to

24:46

smother, over protect, restrict

24:46

another because we're loving

24:51

them too fervently?

24:53

You can never

24:53

love too much but what you can

24:59

do Is smother someone with fear.

24:59

We have to remember, every

25:04

choice that we make is either

25:04

one in love, or fear. So are we

25:10

reacting out of fear or love?

25:10

When we do that, when we smother

25:17

someone, when we clear the path

25:17

for them. You know, I'm talking

25:24

about our kids. When we are so

25:24

fearful for our kids that we

25:28

don't let them learn the lessons

25:28

that they need to learn, make

25:33

mistakes, so that they can grow

25:33

through them, feel pain.

25:38

Discomfort is how we're shaped

25:38

and moulded in life. This is a

25:45

normal part of life and it's how

25:45

we grow, how we thrive. And we

25:54

have to have those experiences.

25:54

So when we're parents, and we

25:58

don't allow that, it's not out

25:58

of too much love because you

26:03

can't love someone too much.

26:03

It's out of fear. Do you agree?

26:08

I totally agree.

26:08

I completely see where you're

26:11

coming from there. And I want to

26:11

just flip it on its head, then

26:14

Scarlett. In your darkest

26:14

moment, you were surrounded by

26:18

family and friends expressing

26:18

their love to you fully. How can

26:23

we best express our love to

26:23

others, to our loved ones, to

26:27

our friends, to our community,

26:27

when they are suffering?

26:32

This is such a

26:32

great question. Because I

26:35

learned through my personal

26:35

experience, that there is a lot

26:39

of fear when we have a friend,

26:39

or a family member, or a

26:45

community member that's

26:45

suffering from loss. And so many

26:49

people are today. And there's so

26:49

much fear in addressing that

26:56

pain. And those that overcame

26:56

their fear and were present for

27:03

us, that's all that it takes -

27:03

is the courage to be present

27:09

with that person in pain. You

27:09

don't have to say the right

27:14

thing, because there are no

27:14

words. In fact, that was the

27:17

best thing that someone said to

27:17

me. I remember they came up and

27:21

they said, "There are no words".

27:21

And I said, "You're right". You

27:25

know, when when we try to fumble

27:25

around and figure out what to

27:29

say, it becomes awkward. And

27:29

that's alright too, because

27:34

someone's doing that with the

27:34

intention to love. But there are

27:39

no words. And just the presence.

27:39

just figuring out what you think

27:44

that person needs and providing

27:44

it, is an act of love. You know,

27:50

we had a lot of people that

27:50

turned away from us during those

27:55

times, but I know that it was

27:55

out of fear. And I've done the

27:59

same thing. That's how I

27:59

recognised it. Prior to my

28:03

tragedy, I would have even good

28:03

friends who were going through a

28:07

loss and I would say, "Ah,

28:07

that's ... Oh, gosh, it's such a

28:12

difficult time for them. I bet

28:12

that they're surrounded by, you

28:16

know, they're they're really

28:16

close family and friends. I'm

28:19

just going to give it some

28:19

time." And then, you know, it

28:22

would be a holiday or something.

28:22

And I would say, "Oh, it's a

28:25

holiday. I think I'm just gonna

28:25

let them have their first

28:28

holiday without their loved

28:28

one". You know. And then and

28:32

then it got to the point where,

28:32

"Oh, it's too late. It's too

28:37

awkward now. Too much time has

28:37

gone by for me to even say

28:40

something. So I think I just

28:40

won't help but just pretend like

28:44

it didn't happen." I mean, I

28:44

think I was the worst. And so I

28:48

realised, I learned so much,

28:48

from these beautiful people that

28:53

had the courage to to come, even

28:53

on that first night when I went

28:59

back to my mother's house. I

28:59

remember friends texting me

29:03

saying, you know, "We're coming

29:03

up". And I was texting them back

29:06

saying "No, please don't". And

29:06

they came anyway, and just to be

29:11

with me; just to share the space

29:11

and take on some of the grief,

29:16

and help me hold it. Just

29:16

holding it in that space. It was

29:19

so beautiful. So I think that

29:19

it's a lesson that I learned and

29:24

that I can share. That it's not

29:24

knowing what to say, it's not

29:29

being knowledgeable in the

29:29

moment. It's saying, "How are

29:33

you doing?" to somebody. And of

29:33

course, in our society, that's a

29:36

rhetorical question. Because,

29:36

I'll say, "How are you doing,

29:40

Kim?" You know. And you would

29:40

say, "Oh, I'm good". And you

29:43

would not think I really meant

29:43

it. It's saying it twice. "How

29:47

are you doing?" "I'm fine." "No,

29:47

really, how are you doing?" And

29:51

it shows the person - even if

29:51

they choose to say I'm fine - i

29:56

shows them that you care

29:58

Which comes

29:58

straight back to that definition

30:01

of love that you presented for us at the beginning of the conversation. It's all about

30:03

connection. It's all about the

30:08

being in the presence with

30:08

someone else. Or, in this day

30:12

and age, reaching out across the

30:12

ether on the internet to show

30:16

someone that you are with them.

30:16

Just beautiful. Scarlett, my

30:20

final question is one I ask

30:20

every guest on the Eudaemonia

30:24

podcast. I'm particularly

30:24

excited to hear what you have to

30:26

share today. Can you offer my

30:26

listeners a morning reminder -

30:31

so this may be a favourite

30:31

practice, mantra, affirmation -

30:35

something that can help my

30:35

listeners tap into healing,

30:39

nurturing love each day?

30:41

Absolutely, I

30:41

do. First of all, what I do when

30:46

I get up in the morning is, I

30:46

think of something that I'm

30:48

grateful for. And I usually look

30:48

to my right, because the sun is

30:54

rising from that window, and I

30:54

have this stained glass rose

30:58

window, of course. And so it

30:58

comes up through that rose

31:02

window. And I just think - I

31:02

actually say - a little prayer.

31:05

And I say, "Thank you, God for

31:05

another day, and an opportunity

31:11

to serve." That's a little

31:11

prayer that I say every morning.

31:15

"Thank you for another day, and

31:15

another opportunity to serve."

31:20

And then I say a little mantra,

31:20

and it's an affirmation. I love

31:26

positive affirmations and mine

31:26

is, "I belong, I give and

31:35

receive nurturing, healing love,

31:35

and I have a lot of fun today."

31:43

Notice, I don't say "I will

31:43

have" because that puts it in

31:48

the future. These are positive

31:48

affirmations. You state them as

31:51

if they're happening right now.

31:51

And I say these mantras and I do

31:57

a little bit of havening with

31:57

them. Havening, it creates Delta

32:03

waves and it helps get you in a

32:03

beautiful space. I know some

32:09

people wake up a little bit

32:09

anxious for the day. So if you

32:13

start by giving yourself a hug -

32:13

it's high up, cross your hands

32:18

over your chest, and put each

32:18

hand on the opposite shoulder -

32:23

and then just move your hands

32:23

down the outside of your arms.

32:28

I'm doing that now. It's called

32:28

havening and it helps to relax

32:33

you. And you're saying your

32:33

mantra, "I belong. I give and

32:38

receive nurturing, healing love.

32:38

I have a lot of fun today."

32:44

What a truly

32:44

delicious morning practice

32:47

there, Scarlett. Thank you so

32:47

much for sharing. Now, your

32:52

book, Nurturing Healing Love,

32:52

it's a few years old now, but it

32:56

is absolutely well worth a read.

32:56

And of course, you've got the

32:59

Jesse Lewis Choose Love

32:59

foundation that is doing good

33:03

work in many ways. If people

33:03

want to find out more about you,

33:07

your book, and the foundation,

33:07

where can they go?

33:10

Please go to

33:10

www.chooselovemovement.org.

33:18

Choose love movement.org. And

33:18

there you will have access to

33:25

lifespan programming, founded in

33:25

Jesse's message of nurturing

33:30

healing love, and the formula

33:30

that can teach you to choose

33:35

love in any situation,

33:35

circumstance or interaction. We

33:39

have lifespan programming. We

33:39

have programming for pregnant

33:43

moms, infants, toddlers, pre-K

33:43

through 12th grade. So all age

33:49

levels. We have programming for

33:49

the home, and communities, and

33:53

even businesses. And all of that

33:53

is offered at no cost. And so

34:00

please go on. This is being

34:00

taught in over 10,000 schools,

34:05

homes and communities across the

34:05

country, in every state, and

34:09

over 100 countries now. It is a

34:09

universal message of love. And

34:16

we can learn to choose love. So

34:16

please visit the website and

34:22

let's join the movement and

34:22

create the world that we all

34:27

want to live in.

34:28

A very timely

34:28

message. And I want you to know

34:32

Scarlett, that as I was reading

34:32

your book, I felt love

34:36

blossoming in every cell in my

34:36

body. So I just want to take a

34:40

moment to honour Jesse and to h

34:40

nour you and all that you're c

34:44

ntributing to the world at the m

34:44

ment. And thank you so much f

34:48

r gifting your time and your e

34:48

ergy here today on the E

34:51

daemonia podcast.

34:52

Thank you so

34:52

much, Kim. This was one of the

34:54

best interviews I've done. So

34:54

this is fantastic! Great

34:59

questions. And I love you. Thank

34:59

you so much.

35:03

As Lao Tzu, the

35:03

founder of Daoism teaches us,

35:06

"Being deeply loved by someone

35:06

gives you strength. While loving

35:10

someone deeply gives you

35:10

courage." You've been listening

35:14

to the Eudaemonia podcast. If

35:14

you'd like to learn more about

35:17

how to live a truly flourishing

35:17

life, please subscribe, check

35:21

out www.eudaemoniapod.com for

35:21

more inspiring episodes, or come

35:26

join me on Instagram

35:26

@iamKimForrester. I'm Kim

35:31

Forrester. Until next time, be

35:31

well, be kind to yourself, and

35:38

lean into love.