0:00

Mirrors are going to pop up in

0:02

our daily life, and they are our

0:04

invitations to our expansion. Get

0:07

those ones exposed and heal and have

0:09

corrective experiences. Mirrors

0:13

equal the exact thing you need served

0:15

in front of you right now to

0:17

get closer to that manifestation you're calling

0:19

in. From

0:22

To Be Magnetic, this is The

0:24

Expanded Podcast with your host, Lacey

0:26

Phillips. And

0:29

your host, Jessica Gill. As

0:37

the leading destination for neural manifestation,

0:39

we dispelled the woo-woo

0:41

in order to help

0:43

you create real, tangible

0:45

results based on neuroplasticity,

0:47

psychology, epigenetics, and energetics.

0:51

Our goal is to normalize the

0:53

practice of manifestation and empower you

0:55

to get into the driver's seat

0:57

of your life in order to

0:59

manifest the experiences, relationships, and things

1:01

that most align with your authenticity.

1:04

And by pressing play, the

1:06

process begins. Welcome

1:14

back everyone to another episode of

1:16

Expanded. Jessica here. We

1:18

are diving into a topic you have

1:20

likely heard about before if you've been

1:22

in the TBM universe for a while,

1:25

mirrors. Now what are

1:27

mirrors? How do they impact our manifestations?

1:29

How do they help our manifestations? How

1:31

can we use them to our advantage?

1:34

And the best way I sort

1:36

of learned to interpret mirrors is

1:39

mirrors are more of a philosophical

1:41

idea of how you can

1:43

begin to look at the world

1:45

around you and use it to

1:47

your advantage to empower yourself. So

1:50

if we think about this concept of

1:52

mirrors, we can see our different life

1:54

experiences being mirrors to things in our

1:56

life where we need to heal and

1:59

grow. Mirrored in which we

2:01

can step into our true. Authentic self

2:03

and nature sometimes mirrored com in

2:05

the form of tests and triggers

2:07

other people this hideous, that sensitive

2:10

thought that wound d and that

2:12

we haven't quite healed or a

2:14

book that yes and mirror can

2:16

also come in the form of

2:18

vision holders for other people that

2:20

can see or potential that are

2:22

encouraging us on better highlighting the

2:25

way our expanders of what's possible

2:27

for us in the future. What's

2:29

possible for us to continue to

2:31

grow and evolve. And. Food

2:34

today we have. I'm leafy

2:36

him the seen with and

2:39

spirit Philly therapists Mgr therapists

2:41

really breaking this concept. Doom.

2:43

And one other know I want

2:46

to make about mirrors is one

2:48

of the biggest places so we

2:50

can start to see our mirrors

2:52

are reflection of our inner self

2:55

is in relationships know of course

2:57

working relationships or friend said family

2:59

relationships but even the relation of

3:02

the have with our pets. And.

3:04

Their relationships we have with a romantic partner

3:06

is. The. Romantic partners are often

3:08

the most triggering because it is

3:11

the closest to that safety and

3:13

security. And in that container, Safety

3:15

and security, it's the opportunity to

3:17

evolve and grow even deeper. I'm

3:20

so excited for us to die

3:22

then curious to see what mirrors

3:24

had then presenting and what lessons

3:26

it's asking, inviting you to look

3:28

at, integrate to heal deeper because

3:30

when we do we have the

3:32

exact road now that is helping

3:34

connect us with what we're design

3:36

at this moment in time. if

3:38

you guys haven't heard yet we are

3:40

he been are manifest season challenge open

3:42

until the end of march so many

3:44

to work has said that they want

3:46

utilize the tools and to see some

3:48

final finishing touches in there before it

3:51

closes out don't worry all that is

3:53

imagine easily as into our daily practice

3:55

library and if you completed the challenge

3:57

you are survey let us know what

3:59

you loved what you manifested, help expand

4:01

others, and let us know what you are

4:03

hoping to get out of our summer challenge

4:05

because we are developing that right now. And

4:09

I hope you guys enjoy the episode. And

4:16

now a word from our partners. Did

4:22

you know that the type of water

4:24

that you have in your area, whether

4:26

it's hard or soft, can be impacting

4:28

your hair and skin? I've had the

4:30

ping for quite some time that we

4:32

have really hard water in Los Angeles,

4:34

and every single time I shower here

4:36

versus other locations like when I'm traveling,

4:39

I'll notice my hair is much more

4:41

difficult to brush, it's a little bit

4:43

rougher, it's not as supple, where

4:45

other locations it seems to be a

4:47

lot softer and smoother. So I

4:49

had this ping to get a water filter. But

4:52

there's a lot of different water filters for your shower

4:54

head out on the market, and they can be a

4:56

little bit pricey, so I didn't want to invest in

4:58

one without really knowing if it was effective or if

5:00

the quality made a big difference. And

5:03

then I manifested the Acton

5:05

Acre shower head filter. So

5:08

they have been developing this product for quite some

5:10

time. If you haven't heard of Acton Acre, they're

5:12

an incredible hair and scalp care company that

5:15

was founded by Helen Brieve, who is

5:17

a board certified tricologist. She really understands

5:19

the implications of your scalp health and

5:22

how that impacts the rest of your

5:24

head. She really understands the

5:26

microbiome of the scalp and is the

5:28

world's first cold processed hair wellness brand

5:30

that really makes an emphasis on the

5:33

scalp. They're so science backed and

5:35

they really care and put in tension behind every

5:37

single thing that they're doing to have the best

5:39

microbiome for your head and scalp, which thus results

5:41

in the best hair possible. So

5:43

when I heard that they were developing this shower

5:45

head, I was like, sign me up, I need

5:47

to test this out, this is incredible. So I

5:50

got it two or three months back. It was

5:52

so easy to install. You just put it right

5:54

where your old shower head is. They have a

5:56

little flow restrictor depending upon what state you're in

5:58

to make sure you're using an ideal

6:00

amount of water coming through and and

6:06

for my hair. My body and face feels

6:08

less dry and scaly after I pop out

6:11

of the shower. My hair is so soft

6:13

and supple. I mean I can brush it

6:15

wet which if you know my hair I

6:18

could almost never brush it wet without putting

6:20

some sort of detangler in it because it

6:22

would get crazy knots and I can brush

6:24

it immediately after coming out of the shower.

6:27

And I seem to be losing less hair

6:29

in the shower. Whenever I pull comes to

6:31

my hair during the shower there's only a

6:34

couple strands that come out where before there

6:36

used to be at least a mini little

6:38

handful. I'm obsessed I call it taking my

6:40

beauty shower because it is helping my skin

6:42

and face and body and hair all at

6:44

the same time and it filters out all

6:46

of those things that we do not want

6:48

to be washing our body and hair with.

6:51

It has three different filters on it that

6:53

filter out chlorine, bacteria, algae that can cause

6:55

scalp irritation, chloramines that can cause dryness and

6:57

inflammation and any chemicals or unwanted

6:59

odor that might be in the water.

7:02

So you are getting the cleanest water

7:04

in your shower. So if you want

7:06

to test out the shower head filter

7:09

that really really works I highly recommend

7:11

the Acton Acre one and you can

7:13

get a discount on your shower

7:15

head with the code TBM20 for 20% off. Again that

7:20

code is TBM20 for 20% off.

7:23

You can check our link in our show

7:25

notes or go to actonecure.com and

7:28

put in the code TBM20. Let me know

7:30

what you guys think. I'm obsessed with this

7:32

one. It is a true manifestation come through

7:35

because I really did want a filtered shower

7:37

head but I wanted to trust the brand

7:39

and believe in all the science that was

7:41

backing it and Actonecure was

7:43

it. Enjoy. All

7:50

right. I'm off to the episode. It's

7:56

so nice to be recording with both of you. I feel

7:58

like it's been a minute. How are you doing?

8:01

I know. Wonderful over here. Just

8:03

so pregnant. Janelle,

8:08

you're in love. Yes, still.

8:10

So in love. Yes, still in love. I'm

8:13

like in a total domestic era,

8:15

cooking, attend, walking. Such a

8:18

sweet, sweet time. Jessica,

8:20

you working your ass off. Working my

8:22

guns off. Honestly, getting

8:25

in so much more balanced, like yesterday was

8:27

the first day that I've been trying to

8:29

do these time blocks every two hours, take

8:31

a break. And like a real break, like

8:33

put everything down, don't catch up on Slack,

8:35

just keep that pacing. And I

8:37

was like, wow, that felt like such

8:39

a free day. Like that was amazing.

8:41

So now I'm like actually starting to

8:43

like implement all of my little

8:46

grounding techniques throughout the day. So it's going well.

8:49

I've been meaning to ask too, I know

8:51

this is a shorter episode, but what's the

8:53

update on wedding venues? Oh, wedding

8:56

venues, I have just put to the

8:58

side because we're really excited about manifesting

9:00

the next home. We're just like

9:02

so jazz about it and the places coming

9:04

through are like so close. But at the

9:07

same time, it's funny, we're like finding new

9:09

ways to like to judge up our current

9:11

space. And we're like, well, the place

9:13

isn't so bad. Like this is kind of

9:15

great. You know, so it's this nice little

9:17

cocoon phase before getting to the next

9:19

one. And then I guess we'll start looking

9:22

at the venues again. Yeah, I

9:24

know. And you're just going to know when you

9:26

find that, you're just going to know. It's going

9:28

to be so obvious, I feel. Yeah. All

9:31

right, let's get in. Okay, what is

9:33

a mirror? So this has been a

9:35

massive teaching and sort of philosophy with

9:37

the TBM work is seeing life as

9:39

mirrors, seeing opportunities and people around you

9:41

as mirrors reflecting back your self-worth to

9:43

understand where your blocks are, where your

9:45

expansion is. It's also a place that

9:47

people have a lot of questions. How

9:49

do we use mirror? How do I

9:51

know it's a mirror versus a test

9:54

versus a trigger? Is this a mirror

9:56

I should pay attention to? You know,

9:58

how do I work with it? with

10:00

them with the manifestation work. So

10:02

Lacey, I wanna kind of point to you, how

10:05

did you first discover this process of mirrors and

10:08

using this to help supersede

10:10

and work with people's manifestation

10:12

process? Yeah, so

10:15

in a lot of the kind of new

10:17

age manifestation rhetoric, people

10:19

are always talking about like the law

10:21

of attraction, the vortex, the things you

10:24

attract to you. And though that's obviously

10:26

happening, it didn't feel rooted or grounded

10:28

in something that I could really digest.

10:30

You know, it felt so lofty, so

10:33

spiritual, so abstract. And then

10:35

the more that I started to watch patterning

10:37

and manifestation, I was like, oh,

10:39

all that's happening is every single

10:42

thing that's in your life surrounding

10:44

you, showing up to you, coming

10:46

to you, happening to you is a mirror.

10:48

We talk about this in psychology, you know,

10:51

which I'm gonna let you break down in

10:53

a minute, Janelle, so people just get it.

10:55

And I think the best takeaway people can

10:57

understand with a mirror is literally

10:59

anything within your reality is the universe

11:02

mirroring it to you in an effort

11:04

to bring you back to your whole

11:06

worthy authentic self. It's actually working for

11:09

you, even if there are things that

11:11

are happening in your life that feel

11:13

overwhelming or hard or sad or

11:16

you're in grief or fearful, it's all

11:18

in an effort for you. It's

11:20

actually out of goodness to push

11:22

you to peel the onion layers back,

11:24

of which that's not yours. You know,

11:27

that's not your authentic self, it's that

11:29

pain, shame and programming we've been picking

11:31

up since birth. So that

11:33

means every person in your life,

11:35

every situation in your life, your

11:37

home, your animal, everything is a

11:39

mirror. So before we go on,

11:41

let's have Janelle define in psychology,

11:43

what is a mirror? The

11:46

best way to think about it

11:48

is that

11:51

when we get triggered, it's

11:53

pointing to our unfinished

11:56

business. We've talked about

11:58

this saying before, I think many times. on the

12:00

podcast, but if it's hysterical, it's historical.

12:03

But it doesn't even have to

12:05

be like hysterical. It can be

12:07

where there's just some kind of rub that

12:12

keeps happening or some sort of

12:14

even low grade where, for example, if

12:16

we use the words always or never

12:18

with our partner, like that can

12:20

be indicators where it's pointing to

12:22

our unfinished business. And

12:25

some mirrors can be positive, right?

12:27

And then some mirrors are negative, but

12:29

a lot of times, and

12:31

especially in partnership dynamics, what's

12:34

happening is we mirror each other

12:38

and typically we

12:40

partner up with the

12:42

same level of unfinished

12:44

business together. Typically it's

12:46

like a same core wound, but

12:49

it's just expressed in different

12:52

ways. Which is a

12:54

trauma bond. Yeah, yeah. Yes,

12:56

yes and no. Trauma bonds can

12:58

be more of like when

13:00

there's a pattern of abuse and we're

13:03

truly bonded to somebody in a really

13:05

traumatic way, where in

13:07

like healthier partnerships, it can be

13:09

more of there's like an attachment

13:11

wound and one partner expresses it

13:13

in a anxious way and the

13:15

other person expresses it in an

13:17

avoidant way, but there's a core

13:19

intimacy wound there. Or maybe there's

13:22

in a partnership, there's like money keeps

13:24

coming up as a topic, right? And

13:26

one person is a major

13:29

saver and the other one's a big spender to

13:31

a point where it's problematic. There might be a,

13:34

again, like a core wound there,

13:36

maybe around finances, but again, it's

13:38

expressed in different ways. Or

13:40

maybe there's a dynamic where some

13:42

partner is over-functioning and the other

13:44

partner is under-functioning. So there's a

13:46

similar, there's a wound there, but

13:49

expressed in opposites. And

13:51

how would you, Jessica, like knowing the work

13:53

so well, like the back of your hand,

13:56

how would you define them

13:58

in layman's terms? What do they mean

14:00

to you? So we have,

14:02

I'll read what we have in the

14:04

workshop too, but you know, like you

14:07

were saying, Lacey, the university only intention

14:09

is reconnect with our inherent worthiness. So

14:11

it's sending you these mirrors and jobs,

14:13

friends, situations, challenges to reflect back

14:15

to you where you need that healing

14:18

or to reflect to you your expansion.

14:20

And the way that I kind of see mirrors is when

14:23

you have an opportunity in front

14:25

of you that is reflecting something back to you,

14:28

whether it's something that's triggering you or whether it's

14:30

something that's expanding you. Like I think of a

14:32

positive mirror would be a vision

14:34

holder, someone that sees your potential.

14:37

Either way, it's an invitation to

14:39

then say like, okay, what

14:42

is this highlighting to me that I need to

14:44

bring out more of myself in the case of

14:46

a vision holder? Or what do

14:48

I need to maybe have some healing

14:50

around in the case of a big

14:52

trigger? And the one no and

14:54

sort of disclaimer I want to make around

14:56

this too is I could see someone

14:59

who has a lot of self blame and

15:01

shame and being like, Oh my God, you

15:03

know, all these terrible things are happening in

15:05

my life. It's me, I'm the problem, blah,

15:08

blah, blah. And I just

15:10

want to note that there are things that

15:12

happen that are outside of our control, like

15:15

abuse. This is not a blame or

15:17

shame game to say like, Oh my

15:19

gosh, you attracted abuse or you attracted

15:22

neglect or some of the horrific things

15:24

that happen in the world, like oppression,

15:26

injustice, marginalization, any of

15:28

that, I would say mirrors

15:30

are an invitation for those

15:32

every day moment to

15:35

moment basis in the people around you

15:37

in your closer circle. I

15:39

would also add to anyone who's experienced

15:41

everything you just listed off, I

15:44

energetically see mirrors. I

15:47

see those experiences developing

15:50

us into the type of human

15:52

that we're supposed to be to

15:54

have purpose on earth. You know,

15:56

that's how we experience such a

15:58

spectrum of experiences. mirrors

16:00

to me are an invitation to take

16:02

your power back, to really get into

16:05

your whole authentic worthiness. And I think

16:07

it was such a good disclaimer that

16:09

we didn't attract that experience. But I

16:11

do, when I think of mirrors pertaining

16:13

to this work, when one's been through any of

16:16

the things listed, it is that that

16:18

invitation to be like, you know what,

16:20

that's not going to define me anymore.

16:22

I'm going to take my power back in and get

16:25

back into my authentic essence. I

16:28

love the way you said that too,

16:30

because even in this moment, I'm having

16:32

like a new revelation with mirrors that

16:35

they're not something that you have to almost look

16:37

back and be like, why is this here and

16:39

be upset that it's there? It's like, okay, if

16:42

this is the thing that's presenting in front of me,

16:44

how can I use it to my advantage? How can

16:46

I use it to, like you said, take my power

16:48

back? How can I use it to use this

16:51

person's vision for me that feels really

16:53

extensive, but scary, step into that more

16:55

and know that I'm worth going after

16:57

that? That's kind of how you can

16:59

use mirrors. Don't use mirrors against yourself,

17:02

use them for yourself. 100%.

17:05

Yes. And that's how we can

17:07

talk about it, propelling into action for manifestation.

17:10

Yes. Okay, so talking

17:13

about the ones that the test and

17:15

the trigger ones, Janelle, you've talked a

17:17

lot about the opportunity for a corrective

17:19

experience. Why do we flock to

17:22

that person

17:24

that is going to have that

17:26

similar core wound, but opposite? Because

17:30

the universe is interested in

17:33

our growth more than our happiness. That's

17:35

a quote from Harville Hendrix. So Harville

17:37

Hendrix is the, you know, if you're

17:39

familiar with Getting to Love You One, a

17:41

model therapy, he's the founder of that.

17:44

And his whole work is based

17:46

off of mirrors in the

17:48

field of partnership. But yeah, that's his

17:50

theory, is that the universe is interested

17:52

in our growth more than our happiness.

17:54

And I hated this when I heard

17:56

it, but it was like, we're going

17:59

to pick people. The all That

18:01

literally cannot meet our needs. Why

18:03

on earth you know and in

18:06

that process that the dance a

18:08

partnership it's meant to be com

18:10

said so we don't feel like

18:13

so discouraged by it. it's that

18:15

we heal and relationship so he

18:17

find people that literally. Truly.

18:20

Just like trigger our early

18:22

unfinished business. And.

18:24

The work and and partnership is

18:27

to get those ones expose and

18:29

he'll and I've. Corrected.

18:31

Experiences get the healing that we

18:33

need that we didn't get and

18:36

our childhood. And.

18:38

I would even add to that

18:40

from a manifestation energetic point. I

18:42

think that that's also. Typical everything

18:44

you just said. Really

18:47

silly in friendships. Oh

18:49

yeah, families. That

18:52

you know, buses. Like

18:54

I even think of myself, all

18:56

of my closest closest best friends

18:58

on the planet. All of

19:00

them at least had one alcoholic parent. You

19:02

know what I mean. It's a disclaimer for.

19:05

Level. Of relate

19:07

ability but invitation

19:09

to. Grow. I

19:12

have this a same thing with

19:14

female friends were almost every single

19:16

one of them were print I'd

19:18

oh yeah when I deserve and

19:20

he says look always hit outta

19:22

we all have this dynamic. This

19:24

is insane. Yes, Sir

19:27

Syed? not sure anybody listening. It.

19:29

Just it broadens your awareness of the

19:31

as the avenues you could be going

19:34

down with what's mirroring due to be

19:36

working on. All. Sides house

19:38

and family or I like runs our

19:40

toes and ailing so they're stepping right

19:42

and said those. It's the same kind

19:45

of dynamic right of how we take a partner,

19:47

how each to their chosen. Circle of

19:49

of girlfriends and with a trigger an

19:51

ass. Yeah. And

19:53

then giving just like a practical example

19:55

of when you're in the moment and

19:57

you're like okay, this person is my

19:59

me. When you have a

20:01

test or trigger present from your mirror,

20:03

how do you navigate it? How do

20:05

you see it as that? One

20:08

example I can definitely give

20:10

is that one wound, and

20:12

I've definitely talked about this on the

20:14

podcast before, but one wound is that

20:16

my dad was like such a

20:18

workaholic, would come home, be so exhausted, and

20:21

I'd be like, look at me, come on, pay attention

20:23

to dad, and was so sad that he was just

20:25

a tired guy at work. But as a kid, I

20:28

was like, he doesn't listen to me, like, I don't

20:30

understand. Now, flash forward, I

20:32

have a fiancé who is ADHD

20:34

whose literal brain is desired to

20:36

have a very hard time focusing.

20:38

I find it a comical thing

20:40

of the universe to have my

20:42

partner be someone who's like, what?

20:45

I, you know, and he's, bless

20:48

his heart, but like he sometimes

20:50

has had the terrible pattern of being

20:53

able to be like, yup, yup, yup, and

20:55

really seem like he's listening, but he's totally

20:57

in another panic. And I

21:00

can pick up on it, and I'm like, you didn't

21:02

hear what I said? And he goes, yeah,

21:04

and he'll just repeat back the last sentence

21:06

I said, and I'm like, oh, you didn't

21:08

hear it. Jessica,

21:10

this might just be like partners

21:13

in general. Yeah, but it's so

21:15

fascinating to me. And so when

21:17

those triggers come up, to

21:20

me, it's a both-and. It's okay. There

21:23

is a history here that

21:25

makes this so irritating that

21:27

is my job to look at. And I can

21:30

also communicate to my partner, hey, this is

21:32

a sensitivity for me. Let's try

21:34

to work on the listening part. So

21:36

that's kind of how I try to

21:39

work with that mirror coming

21:41

up. Yeah, that's exactly

21:43

it. Coming at it with curiosity,

21:45

compassion. There's such deep, deep mutual

21:48

understanding. You're not just going, okay,

21:50

well, this is what it is.

21:52

You're not self-abandoning yourself, and

21:55

you're also not just staying on your side and

21:57

having no empathy for him. There's this

21:59

beautiful middle ground. ground of like, okay,

22:02

this hits a very deep, painful place

22:04

in me that I

22:06

am going to continue to soothe.

22:08

And it's also deeply healing

22:11

when Danielle does have those moments

22:13

of, I'm so sorry and really

22:15

kind of tune and empathize and

22:17

see your pain and see your inner,

22:19

you know, your little girl is so

22:22

soothing for you. That's where the healing

22:24

is. Yeah. And I

22:27

think a broader stroke, the thing

22:29

that I love about what you

22:31

shared that I want to extract but

22:33

make bigger for people is that

22:36

when we start to, especially when

22:38

we're in those moments of like

22:40

a rock bottom or some sort

22:42

of rug getting pulled out from under

22:44

us, that kind of a trigger that

22:47

emulates a lot of anxiety and fear

22:49

and stuff. One thing that I really

22:52

like to remind myself in any

22:54

moment I'm in with mirrors in general is,

22:56

and I said this in the beginning, is

22:58

that they're working for you. And I think

23:01

when you are in those moments, let's say

23:03

somebody doesn't have the awareness or the

23:05

research and emotional intelligence that you have

23:07

Jessica in your relationship and that happens

23:09

to them, that's a big wound, you

23:12

know, that could really, depending on the

23:14

way that someone is reactive, could really

23:16

send them down a spiral, especially in

23:18

a newer part of the relationship. It's

23:20

like, oh, they're not that intimate. There's

23:22

just so many places it can go.

23:25

Rather, the thing that I

23:27

like that you said, I'm going to paraphrase,

23:29

but you're like, it's my job to look

23:32

at that. And everything we teach in this

23:34

work, especially with boundary work and, you know,

23:36

the energetics of it, when you start to

23:38

do the back end work, the subconscious work,

23:40

a lot of that stuff starts to shift.

23:43

So kind of the two things I want

23:45

to anchor in on just that point in

23:47

general is when you have

23:49

those moments of freeze or

23:51

activation and it all starts

23:54

unwinding, if you can remind

23:56

yourself in those moments to

23:58

help you come back into your parasympathetic. that you're like,

24:01

oh, this is happening for me. And

24:03

here's the key thing, and I talk about

24:05

this all the time, it's happening for me

24:08

because I unconsciously or consciously am calling in

24:10

a big manifestation right now. And the universe

24:12

is literally lining the things up in front

24:14

of me that I have to address in

24:17

order to be in the same, if you

24:19

want manifestation terminology, frequency is it, which means

24:21

to be in the same self-worth as the

24:23

thing I'm calling in. So if

24:26

in those moments of a mirror that's

24:28

triggering, or even the expansive ones,

24:30

if we can just stop and go like, thank

24:32

you, universe. I mean, in that

24:34

moment, you're not feeling thank you,

24:36

universe, especially in the oh shit

24:38

moment. But really, that's what's happening.

24:40

It's like, thank you, universe. Wow.

24:42

You're completely lining up in front

24:44

of me what I need to

24:46

look at, like Jessica said, and

24:49

address or integrate the expansion, if

24:51

that's what's happening, in an effort

24:53

to connect with this thing that

24:55

I'm consciously or unconsciously calling in

24:57

from my authentic self. And

24:59

this mirror is helping me

25:01

get closer to that authenticity.

25:04

So that's a big thing that I just

25:06

want people to anchor in while they're listening

25:08

to this podcast, becoming your own

25:10

energy reader, your own coach. The universe,

25:13

the moment you start consciously or unconsciously

25:15

calling something in, it's going to start

25:17

orbiting you. And the universe is going

25:19

to so beautifully begin

25:21

orchestrating and bringing the

25:23

mirrors in front of you that you need

25:26

to address for that thing. That's why we're

25:28

often saying in this

25:30

work, when people are really, really going

25:32

down the road of perfectionism of like,

25:34

what do I do next? What workshop

25:36

do I do next? How do

25:38

I find my expander? I'm in a small town. And

25:41

I've learned now, after doing this work for

25:43

so long, I'm like, you don't have to

25:45

really stress that hard, because the universe is

25:47

going to start serving it all up on

25:49

a dish. Even expanders, I find.

25:51

The ones that I go searching for

25:53

never integrate as deeply as the ones

25:55

that after I've started unblocking a few

25:57

key things that the universe is going

25:59

to do. The flats in front of me and I'm like

26:01

whoa. That was just the expansion I

26:03

need. So. If. There's

26:06

like a sound by his fifty for

26:08

can take away from this is. That.

26:10

Mirrors equal the exact thing

26:13

you need. Served in front of you

26:15

right now. In an effort

26:17

to work. With said to get

26:19

closer to that manifestation. Your unconscious.

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use before bad to help induce

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relaxation, calmness in the body and

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bad or any time during the

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i'll drop it into i put

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twist it around. I'll put like a fancy

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28:05

of my nightly ritual. And then maybe I'll

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It's just bringing back nostalgia of being a

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kid and having that at my grandma's. And

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highly recommend it. One

29:43

place people get tripped up with this

29:45

is that they

29:47

may be aware and then they don't

29:50

sit and do the unblocking. Or

29:52

they'll regulate their nervous system back to sort

29:54

of like a grounded state, and I've definitely

29:57

been guilty of this, but then I won't

29:59

say that. down and do the deeper

30:01

work beyond that. I'll be like, okay, well,

30:03

now I feel better if that he didn't

30:05

listen to me, but I'm not going down

30:07

and do any DI and healing that part

30:09

of my dad, right? And so it's going

30:11

to keep coming up and it's going to

30:13

keep coming up again and again and again

30:15

in an effort to get you there. But

30:18

I think if you want to feel more

30:20

integrated with it, it is so scary, but

30:22

just sit down and take that deep dive,

30:24

sit down and give yourself that healing, because

30:26

that's actually what's going to give you the

30:28

most benefit long-term. So many people avoid that.

30:31

Sometimes they'll even exit the relationship or

30:33

the friendship or whatever it is that's

30:35

triggering them so much because they think

30:37

it's like, oh, I just don't need

30:39

to settle here. But actually they're not

30:41

addressing that wounding part. And so their

30:43

next partner, the same dynamic happens again.

30:45

When it's coming up, that is your

30:48

invitation to look at it. You're

30:50

so right. It's like, it's beautiful. Like when

30:52

you get triggered, okay, this is the invitation

30:54

of my unfinished business to

30:57

integrate and up level and all of it.

30:59

And that's a hundred percent true. I think

31:02

sometimes I've seen, I think

31:04

especially with women's, like, especially that if

31:06

there's like a stigma around anger, like

31:09

we get triggered and then

31:11

we feel like we're not

31:13

evolved or conscious or whatever.

31:15

If we have an anger

31:17

response to something, we

31:20

feel shame about it.

31:22

And then we want

31:24

to empathize and we

31:26

potentially overemphasize. We think

31:28

that's doing the work. And

31:30

what happens is there's

31:33

some dynamics, abusive dynamics,

31:36

that people actually can get stuck

31:38

in because they're like, oh, well,

31:40

this is mirror and this is only me and

31:43

it's not them. And so I just need to

31:45

work on my button and I stay in the

31:48

abusive cycle. So I feel like

31:50

I want to name that your

31:52

anger, it is there to help

31:54

you. It's an alarm system to

31:56

look at where your boundaries potentially

31:59

were crossed. and

32:01

there's no shame about like your nervous

32:03

system is there to protect you and

32:05

a fight response or a fight or

32:07

flight response that is appropriate.

32:09

So it's not like we've solved all

32:12

of our childhood issues and we never

32:14

and we're just neutral and we're never

32:16

triggered. It's like no, there are times

32:19

where you know we get

32:21

triggered and our nervous system is trying

32:23

to help us leave or move or

32:25

shift or change and yes we

32:27

want to look at okay what is the

32:29

deeper button that's pressed here that we can

32:31

integrate but sometimes it's also asking

32:34

for an actionable step to say I

32:36

need to set a boundary here, I

32:38

need to walk away or this isn't healthy for

32:40

me. It's not just like oh

32:43

this person is triggering my unhilled stuff

32:45

like sometimes they did something wrong. They're

32:47

out of their integrity. So I've seen

32:49

this so many times working with women

32:51

in abusive relationships where they're like

32:53

oh they're just triggering my dad and it's like

32:55

your dad was abusive you know and you want

32:57

to you something with it

32:59

you know and it's not just about

33:02

sitting and integrating your dad was right.

33:04

So I want to name that too

33:07

almost to reframe like if you're feeling

33:09

anger about something and maybe not just

33:11

a partner maybe it's a boss or

33:13

a friend or whatever that's not

33:15

shameful. It's really important to know

33:17

that that is not shameful to go this anger

33:20

is actually like a sacred messenger and what

33:23

is it wanting to tell me. I

33:26

love love love that you named that nuance

33:29

because I think that's so important. I mean

33:31

everyone falls on the spectrum right like some

33:33

people are gonna avoid their mirrors some people

33:35

are gonna over take responsibility

33:37

for them and not get the message and

33:40

get out of the unhealthy or unsafe situation

33:42

so that's so important I'm really glad you

33:44

named that. And

33:46

most importantly what you said which was

33:48

so important they're gonna do their

33:50

work on the side of the street you

33:53

know the back work but there also won't

33:55

be a line to action so I'm so

33:57

important to address that in this. Okay one.

34:00

question around this. So this person

34:02

asks mirror or trigger. To give an

34:04

example, there is someone who at

34:06

work rubs me the wrong way. She's always

34:09

late to meetings, requests things last minute of

34:11

everyone, not just me, which I find disrespectful

34:13

of people's time. And even though I've spoken

34:15

to her about how this makes me feel

34:18

and set clear boundaries around it, she still

34:20

continues to act this way towards others and

34:22

occasionally me, which I

34:24

can now push back on with confidence, but

34:26

it's still so irritating. Is this just a

34:28

standard trigger and I need to continue to

34:31

set clear boundaries or is this a mirror

34:33

most likely showing me what I've suppressed? Growing

34:35

up, I was taught to always be respectful of

34:37

others, be the good girl, sometimes at the faults

34:40

of my own needs. Am I jealous that she

34:42

gets to treat people this way and seemingly not

34:44

care why I continue to act in the right

34:46

way or is it both? Yeah,

34:49

so what I'm noticing is somebody

34:52

that's under functioning and she

34:54

might have a history

34:56

of being a good girl and in order

34:58

for her safety or her love or her

35:00

whatever, she

35:03

maybe have over functioned and worked so

35:06

hard to dot all her I's and

35:08

cross all her T's. And

35:10

she's looking at this girl going, no I's

35:12

are dotted, no T's are crossed, what the

35:15

heck? And so this is an

35:17

interesting one because it could be both and. There

35:20

is a boundary that needs to be set. That

35:22

anger is informing you

35:24

that there's somebody that is stepping on her

35:26

toes, right? She does want to call it

35:28

out. There is something to address here. It's

35:30

not that it's all her trigger and

35:33

there might be a part of

35:35

her where she is over functioning

35:37

and she does need to maybe

35:40

give herself some grace or step

35:42

down a little bit and not be

35:44

in such an over functioning perfectionist state.

35:46

Like where does she actually need

35:49

to kind of maybe slow down herself? So

35:51

that's again that same there might be a

35:53

core wound expressed differently. So one

35:56

thing I want to clarify from that is

35:59

in manifestation energy. a mirror and a

36:01

trigger are the same thing. I

36:03

think that aspect is huge. I

36:05

think too, recognizing the

36:08

both and when you have the mirror

36:11

or trigger, mirror slash trigger in this

36:13

case, there can always be an

36:15

opportunity to set a boundary to say like,

36:17

you know what, this is what this is,

36:20

or let's call it the savior, let's have

36:22

a conversation. Hey, this behavior made me feel

36:24

XYZ, you know, put in the nonviolent communication

36:26

tools to practice. But then you

36:28

can look at it. It's not that you

36:30

have to take full ownership and responsibility for

36:33

someone else's behavior. It's that you

36:35

can figure out what it activates and you

36:37

to heal that use that invitation, but

36:39

then also set your boundary. So I

36:42

think keeping those both ends in mind

36:44

when navigating these two. Yeah,

36:46

exactly. And from an

36:48

energetic perspective, because she did talk to

36:50

her to set a boundary, but it's

36:53

not super changing that, like we teach

36:55

in the boundary workshop here, it means

36:57

that she does have some deeper subconscious

36:59

work to be doing because it's continuing

37:01

to happen in her realm. And

37:03

so, you know, that's when we kind of talk about throwing

37:06

the line in the sand. So most

37:08

often people will set a

37:10

boundary verbally or actionably without

37:12

having done the subconscious work.

37:15

She has the conscious awareness that she

37:17

was raised to always be the good girl, do the

37:19

right thing, blah, blah, blah. But what's really down there

37:22

that's continuing to attract that experience. Had

37:24

she really addressed it on a subconscious level

37:26

and had that healing and

37:29

the confidence in that healing, that expansion,

37:31

this woman would not continue doing this with her.

37:34

Maybe with others in the office for sure, but

37:36

not with her. So that's also her energetic

37:38

indication that she hasn't really like

37:40

hit the root subconscious thing yet.

37:54

By now, you're starting to get the feel for TPM.

37:56

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37:59

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back to the episode. Okay,

40:04

and then now to the more exciting

40:07

part of Mirror is the vision holders,

40:09

the people that are showing us what's

40:12

possible, that's sharing us what's possible. Lacey,

40:15

you had a really, really good old blog post

40:17

and we'll have to link in the show notes

40:19

too, but how at that time when you had

40:21

written this blog post, you were like, my

40:23

recent vision holders have been clients and

40:25

pathway members stopping on the street sharing

40:27

their experiences, telling me how the works

40:29

completely changed their life and how important in the world it

40:32

is. They're planting seeds

40:34

to continue to reinforce the vision

40:36

of expanding TBM and they're the

40:38

most profound mirrors and flash expanders

40:41

because they are planting that seed

40:43

almost sometimes beyond the scene is

40:45

believing. They're seeing what's beyond even

40:48

seeing at that moment. Over

40:50

the past year, I've had so many of these

40:52

pop into my life, just what

40:54

felt at random and really

40:57

hold that vision and saw things in

40:59

me that was like, what? You saw

41:01

that from that? That's cool. Okay, amazing.

41:03

And this is such a powerful energetic to work

41:06

with too. Lacey, talk a little bit about vision

41:08

holders. Yeah, vision

41:10

holders are, I like

41:12

to think about my ex's mom, Domi,

41:14

often who came into my life as

41:16

the most ultimate example of a vision

41:18

holder for me, especially at the time

41:21

I think I was around 24, 25,

41:24

like at the epitome of low

41:26

self force, even though externally I seem

41:28

so confident in everything that I was

41:30

doing, but like my real wounds that

41:32

were really running on a

41:35

subconscious level. And

41:37

this woman, she's just the most

41:39

miraculous person, anybody who knows her, she really,

41:42

really had this connection with me,

41:44

that Libra Aquarius connection. And

41:47

the way that she saw me

41:49

in a way that I absolutely

41:51

did not see myself at

41:54

all times was probably

41:56

one of the biggest propellers in

41:58

healing my low

42:00

self-worth as I was doing the unblocking

42:03

work. Just like seeing my

42:05

magic at all times and thinking

42:07

so highly of me and seeing

42:09

unique aspects of me

42:11

that were never attuned to or

42:13

witnessed in childhood. So

42:16

I like to look at that and

42:18

it's just the ultimate picture of a

42:20

vision holder. Even though vision holders,

42:22

you know, they're forms of expanders that come in

42:24

many different ways like the ones Jessica was just

42:26

talking about. Vision holders can appear

42:28

in so many different ways that we're not

42:30

even aware of, right? Like, it can be

42:33

some exciting into your DM, you know, who

42:35

just like sees you, their projection of you

42:37

and it's a really positive, accurate

42:39

one. I love them. And

42:42

I think when people are in low

42:44

self-worth and they're looping on that, they

42:46

don't always have the tools they need

42:49

to integrate those compliments and those visions.

42:51

Let that be in your awareness listening to this

42:54

episode. When you have those people

42:56

pop up and pop into your life, go

42:58

the extra mile to integrate it in the

43:00

sense of like, you know, any expansion work

43:02

you do in here, like take it in

43:04

and own it and be grateful for it.

43:07

It's like universe-sent, God-sent. Yeah,

43:10

they're like little angels and you're,

43:12

I mean, if I look back and I

43:14

think of different like teachers I had in

43:16

elementary or high school or just different people,

43:18

you could probably go through your whole life

43:20

and just go, that person really saw me.

43:23

I really saw me. And

43:26

when you go back there, it's like there's

43:29

something so honestly healing to our soul

43:33

and our nervous system to be

43:35

seen and loved

43:38

and we can take that in and

43:40

there's this deep sense of connection

43:42

and regulation and felt safety,

43:45

you know, just even thinking

43:47

about the vision holders in our life.

43:50

So profound, right? I

43:52

think too, one thing to note, and

43:55

this is in that blog post as well,

43:57

but like if you have lower self-worth and

43:59

belief in yourself. you're almost not going to

44:01

believe the vision holders at first. You're going to

44:03

be like, what are they seeing? And

44:05

if you are that person and you're not

44:07

believing the vision holders in your life who

44:09

are showing what's possible for you, like take

44:12

this as a sign that it is possible

44:14

for you. The vision holders would not be

44:16

showing up if that wasn't something

44:18

that you were supposed to be expanded

44:21

by. The fact that they are there

44:23

are messages to you to show you

44:25

that it's possible. So really

44:27

take that in. Allow yourself to receive

44:29

the messages from them. I think it's

44:31

a big deal. I

44:34

feel like that's such an inspirational point to end off.

44:37

Yes. I end off on. Yes.

44:40

So to summarize, mirrors

44:42

are going to pop up in our daily life.

44:44

They are all around us. And

44:46

they are our invitations to our

44:48

expansion, to our healing. And

44:51

we don't need to blame ourselves if we have

44:53

a mirror that is really

44:55

awful and triggering and hard.

44:58

There might be a boundary that needs to

45:00

be set there, but there's also something that

45:02

we can look at internally when those things

45:04

happen. And when you have those vision holder

45:06

mirrors, let them

45:08

expand you. Let them be the guideposts.

45:11

I think about so many things in life,

45:13

like as I'm manifesting the next home for

45:15

Daniel and I, I'm getting strangers sending me

45:17

like, Jessica, I saw this house and I

45:19

thought of you. I don't even know these

45:21

people. And they're like already thinking about me

45:23

in my house one day. Like I think

45:25

it's the coolest thing ever. So just let

45:28

those people guide you and know that

45:30

those are notes and messages from the

45:32

universe helping you along your journey. Yes,

45:36

exactly. Thanks, guys.

45:39

Thanks for being here and

45:41

happy mirroring. Bye. Bye. I

45:50

hope you all enjoyed that episode as much as

45:52

we did. And if you're starting to get a

45:54

feel for this to be magnetic manifestation process, but

45:57

aren't completely sold yet, let me point you to

45:59

some of our. free offerings. You

46:01

can check out the expanded podcast

46:03

episode called How to Manifest Anything

46:05

You Desire where Lacy, the

46:08

founder, and I break down exactly what

46:10

this process is all about. You can

46:12

check out the motivation, which is our

46:14

testimonial library with thousands of testimonials of

46:17

people who have manifested wild things using

46:19

this process. Or you could

46:21

check out our free quiz to find out

46:23

what manifestation phase you were in, the rut,

46:26

the rock bottom, the next level, or the

46:28

magic dark, and how you can

46:30

navigate. Enjoy! We'll see you next

46:32

week!