0:00

If. You. Can crack open the door

0:02

few the really frame of how is

0:05

this a string How did this give

0:07

me something unique and different that other

0:09

people don't have and this can be

0:11

actually. A superpower for me, that

0:14

is when I've seen the

0:16

biggest transformation. From

0:21

To Be Magnetic. This is the

0:24

expanded podcast with your host place

0:26

he Philips. And

0:29

your host Jessica Gil. As

0:37

the leading. Destination for neural manifestation

0:39

we to spell to Woo

0:41

Woo in order to help

0:43

you create real tangible results

0:46

based on neural plasticity, psychology,

0:48

epigenetics and energetics. Our.

0:51

Goal is to normalize the practice

0:53

of manifestation and empower you to

0:55

get into the driver's seat of

0:57

your life in order to manifest

0:59

the experiences, relationships, and things that

1:01

most align with your authenticity. And

1:04

by pressing play, the process

1:07

begins. Welcome.

1:13

Back everyone to know their

1:15

episode of Expanded Chaska here.

1:17

I hope you're having a

1:20

wonderful week! Today We have

1:22

another powerful Process episode said.

1:24

Today's Guess not only has

1:26

manifested her dream partnership, her

1:29

aligned career path and purpose,

1:31

her dream home that really

1:33

nourishes her and cultivate everything

1:35

that grounds her, makes her

1:38

feel authentic, but she's helped

1:40

to work through some really

1:42

limiting shadow. Words and Believes you've

1:44

talking about Shot All Law an honor,

1:46

Instagram and on our email content And

1:49

to see the power of the shadow

1:51

Words can hold over us and when

1:53

we can transform them and use them

1:56

to empower us. How that can unlock

1:58

so many things as well. It's

2:00

almost as if the shadow word in

2:02

it's in powered see his can help

2:05

us connect to are super power and

2:07

are manifestations on the other side as

2:09

the wanted to share this instagram caption

2:12

that mercy or process guess today roads

2:14

when she had manifested her home and

2:16

the power that the home has and

2:19

been a healing tool a tool to

2:21

kidnap guess to are true authenticity as

2:23

well and even if you're not out

2:26

there manifests in a home how can

2:28

you start to see your home. And

2:30

where you live as a reflection of

2:33

your authenticity through the things that are

2:35

around you. to support each nurse you

2:37

so murphy right. I've. Had thirty

2:39

two addresses and twenty eight years and

2:42

now I'm home home as a place

2:44

where I can grow garden of plant

2:46

medicines for my dual, a family of

2:48

fruit tree for each of my siblings

2:50

and nephews, three grass grown for the

2:52

ancestors and braided by the community, a

2:55

deck for writing and reading a disco

2:57

ball, and the bathroom a place where

2:59

though they loved him rather play and

3:01

rest, a place where laughter and popcorn

3:03

are abundant right can paint walls or

3:06

knock them down. A home on land

3:08

with a babbling Brooklyn codes. And

3:10

Mushrooms Rome a fireplace with winter

3:12

storms and a fire pit for

3:14

summer dinners. A shed to

3:17

transform into a pottery studio, a

3:19

place to canned tomatoes, make apple

3:21

butter, and so the seeds of

3:24

a more just compassionate world find.

3:26

His home is simultaneously the most

3:28

gentle and bad ass thing I've

3:30

ever done. I think

3:33

that is a it's the most

3:35

eloquent, beautiful and poetic right aims.

3:37

but I just think it really

3:39

encapsulates how we can see different

3:41

parts of are less be that

3:43

cultivated expression of our authenticity. What

3:46

are the little ways that we

3:48

can start to pull that into

3:50

ourselves? Now connect with their authenticity,

3:52

reclaim their shadow parts of us

3:54

and really use them to. And

3:57

Paris on the other side's I

3:59

don't either. They're gonna love decline. Enjoy!

4:01

And as the ones mentioned, we have

4:03

our Manifestation Challenge open until the end

4:05

of March. Still if you want to

4:07

join Pop an attempt to do so

4:09

and if you have completed we have

4:11

our survey we won a know what

4:14

transpired for you guys. It's only been

4:16

a couple months since the launch. The

4:18

Challenge though it's cool to see what

4:20

people are manifesting are ready within that

4:22

quick timeline and also we want to

4:24

know you guys are interested in for

4:26

our summer challenge that were working behind

4:28

the scenes. I'm so excited. For all of

4:30

that you can check out the link and so note for

4:32

more. And

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now a word from our partners. Did.

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because I really did more easily. The

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shower head. But I wanted to trust the

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brand and believe in all the science that

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was stalking. It's an accident. Eager would

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8:14

a. Welcome.

8:20

Murphy High since even subsided to

8:22

be here. So. I've

8:24

you know we kick off with sun and

8:26

moon in rising. What Is your astrology and.

8:29

I. Am and Airy Son Center

8:32

Terrorists, Moon and Capricorn Rising and

8:34

I'm very grateful for that advertising

8:36

for like keeping Me on the

8:38

Earth. Oh my God. will the

8:40

i mean nothing really powerful com though. How do

8:42

you feel your residence for? yeah, A

8:45

really does and to add another layer

8:47

to it, I'm also manifesting generator. They'll

8:49

work together really well. I think that

8:51

yeah link I sent the first. Six

8:53

years Amanda lights, traveling and working in

8:55

sitting around the world and I think

8:57

that's as Moon has really like than

8:59

and Miram there and it's complimented well

9:01

by like. A. Grand in this, and

9:03

planning as can preclude in then, you know,

9:06

The fire of areas it is. It's nice to

9:08

have on my side sometimes. So.

9:10

Why It easier cultural background and

9:13

upbringing? So. I

9:15

grew up in Bismarck, North

9:17

Dakota eyes. And indigenous I

9:19

answer. And super that

9:21

my family. We. Are in

9:23

North Dakota because my great grandmother was

9:26

placed in a boarding school will residential

9:28

school and so we are in North

9:30

Dakota. Same lead. Singer of away From

9:32

I tried that connected. In many ways through

9:34

my grandparents. I. Think the thing

9:36

that characterize my. Upbringing most would

9:38

be changed to make we moved a

9:41

lot and my parents had partner at

9:43

change made four younger siblings born. I

9:45

am one of six children and see

9:48

absolute juri of my life and a

9:50

think I can form so much about

9:52

how I navigate, nice and like everything

9:54

about and as being a part of

9:56

that like unit in midsummer any since

9:59

been. Like and thing. That's. Really

10:01

trying to me more and more and doubts

10:03

hit and how important it is is. Were

10:06

part of such a massive community

10:08

of people who like intentionally and

10:10

generously beloved. Us so much. And

10:13

on think I realized and tired and adult

10:15

what that means for adults to really dislike.

10:17

Love. Us into being and seems to

10:19

learn children and he clinton emails. Where.

10:22

Do you phones yelled they're sick kids.

10:25

I am the second split I I can refer to my

10:27

older brother and I is like the older. Cohorts and

10:29

then our new my next by there

10:31

is a years younger than me and

10:34

then there are four kids born within

10:36

three years are twins and sell. It.

10:38

Was like lose a to that for a while and

10:40

then there's and forth and screaming. I've

10:43

heard some a lot of friends who have

10:45

had said families especially as scared near the

10:47

elders side of the family said there is

10:49

a lot of like carotene for the younger

10:51

kids in the family to think that was

10:53

your experience. Yeah there was a huge part

10:56

of my life and now an adult had.

10:58

I'm trying so much. More intentionally to really

11:00

be a sister, Because like. Keen.

11:02

On Nobody Wants like an Extra Pair and in

11:05

the mix and sounds. Like then release another.

11:07

All of my siblings are in their early twenties

11:09

to be able to just like transition into that

11:11

role in the sister and might allow them to

11:14

to be who they are. Endless. I go out

11:16

and the same freedoms that I want for myself

11:18

and not have that concerned parental mindset on all

11:20

the time. So how did

11:22

you first discover as the to the magnetic work.

11:25

I was actually eyelids. On

11:27

a trip in France and the put a

11:30

relationship I knew a said not be in

11:32

anymore and. Was living in New York City

11:34

at the time and knew that lengthy. Isn't the place

11:36

for me? Even new in a sense that when I

11:38

moved there I thought like for sure that's round always

11:40

be. And I read an

11:43

article where someone referenced Cbn.

11:45

And started listening to the podcast on

11:47

that trip and like immediately signed. On

11:50

to be a pathway member and

11:52

have been unit really suddenly since.

11:54

I. Sort of joke that links to. The first thing it manifested

11:57

was a break up with a person in the city. And

11:59

the. I've heard that kind of so many people's

12:02

entry points. Is I kidding? That rock bottom moment

12:04

any been to recalibrate and figure out what do

12:06

a lot out of life what I want nag.

12:08

Un. What was on your

12:11

initial manifestation list? So. A

12:13

very quickly became like I wanted

12:15

to move to. A. More rural

12:17

place and I wanted a what I really

12:20

wanted was like connection to land. Connection to

12:22

Community To build a community in a place

12:24

that I knew that I would be for

12:26

it. Like the long term. You know,

12:28

especially like that Canucks into Land is still

12:30

insists really tied for mean So and Ferdinand

12:32

to someone in the sense of lead sitting

12:34

on a porch swing that I knew I

12:36

would then be sitting on when I had

12:38

like along. Very brave as well and that

12:40

was sort of the him into the into

12:42

mine says that and I've always been a

12:44

great lover of love and so on. Partner

12:46

was definitely on that first list as well

12:48

and. I remember I just started

12:51

my newsletter. That are now wrong. I. Think

12:53

the first thing I'd put isn't a hundred

12:55

thousand subscribers? And. A new than a like I

12:57

hadn't quite learned the like step by step process

12:59

that is necessary from emphasis in that he handles

13:01

in a main things. Why?

13:04

It was your process inserted into. I'm past that.

13:06

Like did you go through had a manifest? Are

13:08

you going through on what's in our child? Like

13:10

what? did you start to. Peel. A

13:13

par as you're navigating. I'm

13:15

a rule follower. incense and saves and

13:17

sell followed that the protocol and start

13:20

with how many? Thanks. To. Move. Under

13:22

center when inner child. As I

13:24

can get a little the in my dad. Needed

13:26

trap of the lake. Thinking that the work is

13:28

only working is it's hard. So I got very

13:31

into Santa an inner child because I like the

13:33

intensity of it. must indicate to me that it's

13:35

working. but I think that. Like what back

13:37

home brought me which is what I have

13:39

realized now I was always looking for in

13:41

any hearing or can essentially to the amazon

13:43

sense of safety and I think that really

13:46

keen for meats and work as as he

13:48

really digging into Santo and in a child

13:50

is low. I think

13:52

that that element of it has to

13:55

be hard. I deeply resonate with

13:57

that. I. Think a lot of people in the

13:59

community of like either. To have the. Crazy.

14:01

Breakthrough Earlier this this hard at like

14:03

a hospice a more everything into it.

14:05

How did you can go from that

14:07

mindset of like a has to be

14:09

hard to like. We. I can

14:12

have these light touch planes or I can

14:14

have inspiring moments and that is. The. Work

14:16

that is part of the work to. That.

14:18

It was a couple of things. One is

14:20

there was an offering in my community. For

14:23

somebody who is trying to be an

14:25

art music therapist. I can

14:27

see needed to like offer free sessions.

14:29

Use some folks is a part of of getting

14:31

her accreditation. And. A in

14:33

sessions with her and it was so

14:35

transformational and beautiful and also like did

14:37

not feel hard and sell also different

14:39

as i felt as much of the

14:41

says and then. Another. Aspect of

14:43

it is. In. My at communities here

14:46

is an elder and I was speaking to

14:48

her about you know, and not having really

14:50

experienced a lot of the elements like play

14:52

in childhood than I was cleaning. And she's

14:54

a glove. Means you have with the coming

14:56

of age ceremony at the end of the summer of

14:58

because I was like maybe I should have a child

15:00

had summer where I just play the summer. And

15:02

Slam. And give myself a child

15:04

had because I can do that now lead. That's

15:06

something that I am able to do and say

15:09

I had childhood memory. I hosted. Friends

15:11

through and I called. Adult Summer Camp

15:13

and Water is really important to me.

15:15

May Indigenous. Name translates to sinning spirit and

15:18

so like I tried to swim as much

15:20

as possible. Can a new that's the element

15:22

of play? That I needed and and clinics

15:24

in so. Doing. That and really

15:26

so busy. Nine. Intentionality behind

15:28

fun has been really helpful and

15:31

man now with my partner like

15:33

see somebody who knows how to

15:35

play and like watching that and.

15:38

Learning from her and realizing this is a

15:40

skill as in I can learn. It takes

15:42

practice. In. I less than a very

15:44

and series like it really is something you can

15:46

learn to do in and for a while it

15:49

feels like pretending. you know like when we're out

15:51

on a beautiful snowy day and she has

15:53

this natural sense of play and like ideals India

15:55

this that has been really really helpful and men

15:57

the last thing I'll say there is. Forgot

16:00

for a long time. That. I'm

16:02

a creative person. Because I was seeking

16:04

out a serious career and serious elements

16:06

as my life and then. It

16:08

was actually when I was buying my house that my

16:10

sister in law is likely a has to be so

16:13

cool because you're an artist and I was like. Yeah,

16:15

that's true of that. That's a true

16:17

thing about me. And so it opened

16:19

up the sense of like needing decree

16:21

again. That's a part of my authentic

16:23

code is creative expression. But just getting

16:25

back into that has allowed me to

16:27

realize that led. All of that

16:29

too is. The work and the important work and

16:32

is actually the only thing that will like sustain

16:34

this type of work and this type of life.

16:36

Building is like not just digging. And digging and

16:38

digging. The also. Like using those materials to build

16:40

the lice and I'm hoping to have it.

16:43

can't just be all their excavation. Ah

16:45

sounds in percent I wish I could

16:48

in tactfully thought unlike a billboard or

16:50

been going through it it does feel

16:52

so have the and does he'll so

16:54

hard and it's also a lot of

16:56

internal work. Will. Talk about how you

16:58

incorporate ancestry into it to make it

17:00

feel less internal and like you have

17:02

your community with you during it. But

17:04

I think it's so so and poor.

17:06

And that component of play like when

17:08

you honor your inner child when you

17:10

paint, when you draw, when you do

17:13

the things that are part of your

17:15

authentic code like that is part of

17:17

the healing work. Yeah, well. those are

17:19

those decisions driven by a sub conscious

17:21

self. Worth It says I'm worthy, unworthy

17:23

of honoring. This time, I'm worthy of

17:25

that. You are rewriting your neural. Pathways

17:27

in making those decisions. So I think that

17:29

So beautiful and I love the idea. Of

17:32

an inner child Summer I feel like. I'll

17:35

need to do that. It's yeah, yeah I try

17:37

to. The not recommended. Enough is is nothing quite

17:39

like being a child in the summer. I am

17:41

I giving. Yourself. A. Just

17:43

keep some of the also I think like the

17:46

density and seriousness away from and and makes it

17:48

feel more integrated as a part of life rather

17:50

than this thing outside of malaise that I do

17:52

to make my life better. It's that. Know this?

17:54

Is all linked to from the same creature and.

17:58

So. Did you start? Incorporating? Your

18:00

ancestors into the eyes and into the i'm

18:02

blocking work and holding space to honor that.

18:04

What does that look like for you? I

18:06

know we get that question. A: How do

18:08

I do this More and wouldn't I think

18:10

about? Who do I bring forward? How do

18:12

you work with that. That so

18:14

I have some that this is also that

18:16

like I'll spend so much before. The

18:18

eyes and. In the night

18:20

my ancestors along and. You know,

18:22

I was born with a bullies and a

18:25

responsibility. That I'm in the midst and seven

18:27

generation so I have a responsibility to the

18:29

freezer narrations behind me and him in the

18:31

middle and sun and the next three or

18:33

also went. My. Generation secure for and

18:35

to to ensure that there isn't a livable

18:37

planet for them. And In And did they

18:40

have all these silly, think that like. That.

18:42

Has the. World view makes it.

18:45

Impossible to do this work without connection

18:47

to and citizen connection also to to

18:49

the impact you know, like and I

18:51

don't clean this stuff up even if

18:53

I don't bear children the world that's

18:55

coming next is going to have due

18:57

to be responsible for any sort of

18:59

impact of that unclean mess that I

19:02

might have an i think that with

19:04

that belief. Also it's this. This sense

19:06

of knowing that they to want to be there

19:08

in that there was so much hearing and creativity

19:10

and things that they wanted to express and be

19:12

tied to that they were unable to do so

19:15

and there before going of that made it possible

19:17

for me to do so. I like a whit

19:19

to them as well to bring them along and

19:21

that they want to be there as well. And.

19:24

I think one important thing here to say as

19:26

well is that you know I call upon my

19:28

well ancestor than he insists is it can be

19:30

there to guide me and be uprooted. this hearing

19:32

and then also put forth the intention that my

19:34

hearing will rebel out to those who are less

19:36

well. you know it's not every ancestors. Were unable

19:38

to be. A part of you

19:41

know that died in part but I think

19:43

they they make the reason to the eyes

19:45

and so many ways as you know like

19:47

when they think that a now like sensing

19:49

them. Also they're given his hearing or imagining

19:52

magnetic family the situation as mayor there are

19:54

just like the scenes I'm outside and walk

19:56

in and going up heroes and things like

19:58

that they are also they are alongside me

20:01

walking in and at certain points and it's

20:03

challenging there and. You know, like holding my

20:05

inner child in. I feel that they're also folding

20:07

me in Sales. Once that and door

20:09

is cracked oh thing to them and the

20:11

invitation has made there's like zero for bernie.

20:13

Like everybody is the you know, ready to

20:15

go and like wants to be in part

20:17

of it. And sell. Something.

20:20

That so helpful about this framework is that

20:22

it is that it's a framework and it

20:24

like sort of asking it's designed in a

20:26

way to be added on. See you then.

20:28

Something else I'll say in aligned option that's

20:31

really helpful for me is. You. Know

20:33

and I'm thinking about like not doing the

20:35

next greed of thing I want to do

20:37

or like not doing that the next set

20:39

that I know I need to take Like

20:41

knowing that they too are there and I

20:44

am cycling the gifts they've given me of

20:46

creativity and of like the immense bravery that

20:48

they harnessed in their lifetimes. And cutting

20:50

that line of like the of of what they've

20:52

passed on to mean it's something that I don't

20:54

feel willing to do. And knowing that they're. They're.

20:56

Sort of as their initiators have some

20:58

of those those passes can be. Really?

21:01

Really helpful and it's like ants and x responsibility of

21:03

not only do when he does the numbers and also

21:05

when he's to hide to generations. I want to

21:07

make sure that make. An example is

21:09

and that I have an writer and ensuring

21:12

that bay the guess that as have are

21:14

expressed in a way that they can then

21:16

pick as and make me and narrowness now.

21:19

That. Is still beautiful and I think even just.

21:22

D. Support. Men to leave.

21:24

U. S E Old and going into those decisions

21:27

to be like. I'm not alone

21:29

in this. It's not me against the

21:31

world. it's my entire lineage. Zealots with

21:33

me at all times. The teacher, liege.

21:35

It's so much connection and I think

21:37

it's human beings. We. Were. Really

21:39

who wired for connection for that

21:41

teeth interconnectedness amongst one another with

21:43

family? everything? the plan and and

21:45

I think we're in an interesting

21:48

time were in some ways you

21:50

feel more disconnected than other. yeah,

21:52

but there is such an awakening

21:54

of people. Going. Back to the

21:56

roots, Going back to the ancestors, Going back to

21:59

the things that. Arguments. The practice

22:01

for millions of years until getting into

22:03

figure out what are those really practical

22:05

ways that you consider to incorporate that

22:08

Now it's a great that's gonna be

22:10

your strength, your backbone during all of

22:12

it too. And. It's this are minor

22:14

right that we cannot be alone even when we

22:16

are trying to be like it's a we can

22:18

be So there's so much comfort in that. Same

22:21

name. It came to mind as the thought that

22:23

in a only forty some percent of the cells

22:25

in our body actually human cells and the rest

22:27

are made of other species and other beings. And

22:29

so it's like no matter how much he try

22:31

to isolate ourselves and we are not you know

22:33

just one been were so interconnected and. I.

22:35

Think that had such an element

22:38

as responsibility for together this seriously

22:40

inauthenticity. Say because it's heat. And.

22:42

The rest of the world's guess they're tied up and. Oh

22:45

my gosh, I love that! It's interesting

22:47

lending and is working with are kind

22:49

of plane with a little day is

22:52

when we released this as your feelings

22:54

the I over the manifestation challenge have

22:56

a really hard time fanatically. Feeling.

22:58

My feelings? I can cry if I'm

23:01

in that zone. But like. Other.

23:03

Emotions like anger or grief are really

23:05

really hard to let them zabul are

23:07

they always like there's another protector part

23:10

that comes out the gonna know it

23:12

and into that to the yeah. and

23:14

so I've been playing around with this

23:16

idea of. How. The my ancestors

23:18

kind of come in and having my

23:20

family lineage come in. And work

23:22

with parts of my body that it stuck in. And

23:25

I basically lay down as if they're gonna

23:27

give me a like spiritual massage. And the

23:29

when. it's like let this elaine process through,

23:31

feel whatever you need to feel let the

23:33

most. And Culottes. And. Said as

23:35

me just trying to not suppress

23:38

the ceiling I surrender to the

23:40

fact that I'm like envisioning. My.

23:43

Ancestors coming in and giving me like

23:45

a spiritual on the size or clearing

23:47

of that area where the magic or

23:49

something of that area where ever their

23:51

motions dark and i just let whatever

23:53

comes up there. It's. Like oh my

23:56

little have to try to get into closer to

23:58

the emotions Yeah and it's in me. The right?

24:00

Like how once. You open yourself up to it

24:02

how they find their way in and now these

24:04

ways that seal true and right. I think their

24:06

creativity is so helpful Does if I were trying

24:08

to be like this is where you'll come in.

24:10

this it you know orchestrated all like enough control

24:12

it wouldn't work as well as on their link.

24:14

This is where we can this be of support

24:16

as well and he was something else I think

24:18

about series is that. I. Have a few different

24:20

would say pillars in my career but one of them

24:23

as as a do when. I started

24:25

to sort of everything through. The eyes and birth

24:27

work like I can't Not like Once you really think

24:29

about it everything is is crossing. The threshold

24:31

like and center site and and.

24:33

Wanting people to be held in that settled and

24:35

nourished and that's are sold and connected to their

24:38

own ancestry Him that in that has sold and.

24:40

You know, I often joke that my great grandmother's the

24:42

one who like sort of put the backs of delivered

24:44

on my friends that than I could have tripped over

24:47

it for my whole life or this. Open the box

24:49

and then like yes, you're correct Sam and do less.

24:51

And. So I say that to say that so

24:53

the ancestors ties to some of the work. I

24:55

do also tie him to this for does well

24:58

as default. Feeling a great responsibility

25:00

or he knows I'm going to be

25:02

there as people are crossing parcels and

25:04

children are coming into the world that

25:06

have responsibility to be well and to

25:08

be cleansed and to be energetically aligned.

25:10

And so I think that helps a

25:12

lot. See when they come into like alignment

25:14

of thinking about going to birds and and

25:16

preparing for things. Like that, but there's a

25:18

lot of like elements, a small physical world ceremony

25:20

to that coming to that and he thinks it's

25:23

something that people can really put the late

25:25

to add onto the t the impetus to. It's

25:27

just like what are the moments in your life

25:29

that you have built. In Nyc feel like

25:31

you're connected. In this realm as well

25:34

and building them slowly over time one thing

25:36

will lead you to another as as action

25:38

as and does. Talk.

25:40

A little bit about humming to that

25:42

realization that you could just open a

25:44

boxer for that duel a portion of

25:46

your career like of these different hillary

25:48

because that one question we get so

25:50

much as around purpose. And.

25:53

Am I a uniquely designed to do

25:55

acclimate? Be replete designed to do why

25:57

like which one should I be doing.

26:00

And there's a lot of imposter syndrome

26:02

and he or even though people are

26:04

getting that whispering over and over and

26:06

over again, how did you step through

26:08

that? The or. Towards. An

26:10

Open The box. I. Think

26:12

he wins partially. I had finished

26:14

my masters in Public Health and

26:16

nine specifically focused on storytelling as

26:18

a tool for health equity which

26:21

is like. Storytelling. And

26:23

held our big parts. Of my life

26:25

but in doing and in finishing that degree

26:27

I was a missed that sort of been.

26:29

Working. Directly with people and so is

26:32

trying to figure out what to add on to

26:34

my life to like and said to me down

26:36

there and it was just. As having

26:38

these memories and dreams of my great

26:40

grandmother like talking about further wisdom and

26:42

importance in the end and I think

26:44

you within a time I know isn't

26:46

a true marlies and deeply crazy like

26:48

true community and food connection. And

26:51

that seems to me like as I wanted

26:53

that and if I really wanted that connection

26:55

and support that it was something that everybody

26:57

is so worthy of ends and you know

26:59

having my back and and public or for

27:01

knowing that they they they both very science

27:03

has eight and very magical process that rings

27:05

a person on to the planet and such

27:07

as wanting to be a part of something

27:09

that was both and have my feet and

27:11

of world and said that was with the

27:13

with to do work and then it just

27:15

so happened like when I moved to Vermont

27:17

my house happens to be in the one

27:19

county we. Knew was in America. They offers

27:21

free do a care for everybody and we

27:23

get paid through a grand and so they're

27:25

just like these things are as I just

27:27

keep doing this. But yeah, and it

27:30

was just nothing. Quite. Trip

27:32

me up as much as. Thinking

27:34

about the last step better than the next

27:36

step are like the ultimate outcome rather than

27:38

the next step. And so that was one

27:40

that I really broke down into leg. Or.

27:43

The first thing to do to be a deal is to be trained

27:45

as on said. Do that and then singer the rest

27:47

are going step by step because I get so

27:49

very. Caught up on. Having it

27:51

all figured out before it even began. The

28:00

we would go completely neglected. A for me

28:02

is my body skincare. An eyelid you know

28:04

have pants on and sweat pants on and

28:06

everything will be covered up. So why do

28:09

I really need care about my body skincare?

28:11

But my legs would get so dry and

28:13

my skin would get crackly and itchy especially

28:15

if I was over on the east coast

28:17

with those harsh winter when and you see

28:19

a skin care products have been my absolute

28:22

saving grace when it comes to this. So

28:24

here they may go to routine first other

28:26

the little dry brushing and read the body

28:28

it loose and all the. Lands gary

28:30

thing going and then when I

28:32

jump in a shower I use

28:35

and Daria Cleansing Body Police said

28:37

this is a micro biome, a

28:39

friendly exfoliating and mineral rich body

28:41

polish. It is the only if

28:43

the leader of that I've ever

28:45

use that actually works and slough

28:47

off the dead skin without causing

28:49

irritation on dryness afterwards. Then

28:52

I'll follow up with their and Aria

28:54

algae by oil you guys have heard

28:56

me talk about. This is the most

28:58

moisture rich skin barrier support and oil

29:00

that really helps to replenish your dry

29:02

skin and give you that glow. And

29:04

then for those spots that are just

29:07

so hard to keep moisturizer he knows

29:09

when her mans like your elbow their

29:11

hands arrests see me cast any of

29:13

those spots. I use the on Daria

29:15

algae body butter and just put a

29:17

little coating on that to give it

29:20

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So had to our show notes or

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30:19

to. Talk.

30:26

About your shadow words and you

30:28

know we pataki little bit about

30:30

saddle. And social media. Recently a

30:33

will be sharing more episodes and things

30:35

along those lines, but. How.

30:37

Did you discover and you the shadow

30:39

words? How are they showing up in

30:41

your life? What actions and and reflection

30:43

three see in fact that was poking

30:45

at them were holding you back. And

30:47

then how did you get they three

30:49

like oh I can own the says

30:52

and on meaning. That a

30:54

read any story here. Yeah. A

30:56

couple them to mind and like a lot

30:58

of them have helped me really. Get

31:00

into a place where I could call

31:02

in my current partner because like so

31:05

much for my Santa was playing out

31:07

in my romantic relational dynamics. A

31:09

lot of it was like pathetic was a

31:11

big one for me and needy and I

31:13

think a lot of the ones that like

31:15

we see on the listen things I am

31:17

I carried us that resonates and know though

31:19

really helped and like a really got me

31:21

far but it was were in their shadow.

31:23

word trashy came out it was like eighty

31:25

six I understood I embodied in that moment

31:27

like I found the words and I had

31:30

memories of childhood of trying to fit in

31:32

at like friends' houses are not wanting them

31:34

to think of me. I like the trashy

31:36

one and working so hard in school. and

31:38

getting a masters and doing only things

31:40

that i thought would like bring me

31:43

say. And ensure that I

31:45

wasn't seen as trashy. And Nine

31:47

One say really owned it. I was like wheat

31:49

so much when I have wrapped up in this

31:51

ball is same around is actually so much of

31:53

what I love about myself. I love the

31:56

sort of like scrappy miss of like figure it

31:58

out of near said that I have. I'm

32:00

living in my home he know in a redoing

32:02

the home and making it really my own in

32:04

the safe place in areas like when a I've

32:06

heard from my neighbor so many stories of the

32:09

people who live there before me. And.

32:11

They seem to have so much in common with. A.

32:13

Lot of the things and at that I grew

32:15

up around and silage ceiling the home has been

32:17

like. Hearing for me as well. And making

32:19

it my own of the think safe and

32:22

stable places like an outward, a major like

32:24

my inward self as a shield in the

32:26

house. As it would often referred to

32:28

the way I was doing house projects or

32:30

d I y of figuring things out a

32:33

like trashy and then realizing that know none

32:35

at all and like that resourcefulness. Been.

32:37

Friends with when I think is often associated

32:39

with that is the reason that I am

32:41

who I am today is like knowing that

32:43

no matter what I am putting and no

32:45

matter what happened like I will be able

32:47

to figure it out. And that

32:49

also was wrapped up in that wall of shame around

32:51

machinists. And so it just was one of the media

32:54

things. As soon as I heard it, I was like

32:56

intellectually length. While this isn't enough been

32:58

rearing it's head in ways that has has

33:00

really me off on different paths and I

33:02

wouldn't have otherwise taken like ultimately and is

33:04

Ben like beaten. This the strength of my

33:06

life has. Come. Food from so many

33:08

of the attributes of how I seats

33:10

worried. There. To thing.

33:13

I've sort of page south over the years

33:15

and like doing the a lot shadow or

33:17

Sub so many times and do that she

33:19

be embark vet You know shadow was one

33:21

of the hardest one to go through. I

33:24

think because you're facing shame yeah and see

33:26

you is like such a. Complex.

33:28

Emotional state that. Has

33:31

so many layers and I found myself justify

33:33

Look while it's discusses and you know there's

33:35

also this element in and I don't like

33:37

to be judged for this that this part

33:40

it's that you know there's so much needed

33:42

like over thinking over analyzing of all of

33:44

it. but if you can crack open the

33:46

door few compassion and exactly what you said

33:48

by the really frame. Of how is

33:50

this a string. Yeah. How does it

33:53

give me something unique and different that

33:55

other people don't have? An this can

33:57

be actually a superpower for me. That.

34:00

When I've seen the biggest transformation.

34:02

Feel. Compassion for it though. wound the in

34:04

a wherever I picked up the story. And.

34:07

How I carried it with me, as that

34:09

sort of bird and for so long. And.

34:12

Then said wait a second. This.

34:15

Actually is such a super power and

34:17

minute own as I mean as be

34:19

empowered in the feminists stand in the

34:21

south for I'd seen some his biggest

34:23

says. Yeah and it also

34:25

really helped me cyst because once i

34:27

i guess we be revealed my love

34:29

for that part of myself it made

34:32

it What. I was drawn to

34:34

so different as well the things that I

34:36

wanted became much more authentic because they no

34:38

longer wanted them to. Be than

34:40

or to like portray that and again

34:42

it's sort of like. How you

34:45

can't really get one over on your inner

34:47

child because they know of here just phoning

34:49

and and and near like hi, hi I'm

34:51

here to connect. You also can't phone and

34:53

into the shadow because like until inside planted

34:55

in your body is still leaning. Painting sneaky

34:57

ways to pop up and it to think. I.

35:00

Their integrating it are playing a really long

35:02

like ten game of law for all and

35:04

one to seems a lot more enjoyable than

35:06

the other. Hundred were

35:09

said. So. Talk about this

35:11

route of manifesting in your partner and

35:13

the whole. The. Timeline as.what past

35:15

Pasta: How did you know that it

35:17

was your person Last? how did you

35:19

know is your home. Start.

35:21

Diving into of the season. So.

35:24

When I was getting ready to leave New York

35:26

City like I knew I wanted to be in

35:29

Vermont and they didn't really understand why exactly like

35:31

when I'd gone. They're really sells his school and

35:33

like on the it a deep breath as helps

35:35

out to be in Vermont but I didn't really

35:37

have many Thais for their aside from that fans.

35:40

But I was like walk and be walking around

35:42

New York and see like free Vermont licensing to

35:44

the chaos as that far but like him are

35:46

like people have the i Heart Vermont shirt on

35:48

or be on the phone and assembly me like

35:50

I'm Linda from up this weekend and and over

35:52

here and other things as acting understand. That it.

35:54

And then my friend was called. Deliver

35:56

Vermont and they were like hey, we are

35:59

pregnant and What? The or do that and it

36:01

was at the same time that the Ceo where I work.

36:03

Said you have permission to work remotely

36:05

permanently and they're due date. The friends

36:07

who has the do for with the

36:09

same. Day that my lease is up in New York

36:11

City and they have a cat and on their land still

36:13

a second. Stays here as he like you

36:15

know for some time. And sides ages

36:17

Metal and I. Landed there. And

36:20

he had the sense that I wanted a

36:22

home and they wanted it to be a

36:24

major often the I am size he tells.

36:26

I can't have a basement like this. Has

36:28

to month for one person. And. I also

36:30

wanted the has to have. A stone

36:33

for side and water nearby. And

36:35

I wanted. To be connected to it

36:38

said the land that was on because it might

36:40

that such an important thing to me as well

36:42

And like lineage ceiling a be made me gaining.

36:44

Access to land to lend grow food

36:46

and herbs and really remake create the

36:48

land and myself through that process. And

36:51

so it was the first and only house

36:53

that I like physically went to look at

36:55

the on like stuck in homes. On Zillow.

36:57

And has a stones aside and

37:00

with on two acres and there's

37:02

a stream runs right by him.

37:04

And i like gotta have it in my car and

37:06

like turned to the and they're really they're nice like

37:08

hey this is my house and she was a carry

37:11

think it might be your house and I just sort

37:13

of hundred knowing and it was sort of like i

37:15

at my house is a stone facade been in a

37:17

very like goofy way that I've never seen any other

37:19

has had assumed since i was felt like sort of

37:21

like a win enough he works this is it enough

37:24

that like you know the here you go and throw

37:26

at the dinner for an at that time houses. In

37:28

Vermont were basically all costs or phrase which is

37:30

not something I was able to do and the

37:32

real estate is. It was like he said really

37:34

ways the inspection and the appraisal difference I've only

37:37

had like less than one percent of offers be

37:39

exempted over the past of we're the fate of

37:41

the that and again has a m one person

37:43

and I can't. And. I can't do

37:45

that, but aid over for somebody in the cafe

37:47

earlier that day. Talk about how back in the

37:49

day in Vermont people used to write letters to

37:51

people to tell them why they wanted their house

37:54

and like. What? Has happened to that for

37:56

decent it is that. and so I just like heard

37:58

that and I was like i can't wave either. The

38:00

thing. But I will run a letter, say run a letter,

38:02

and overnight at it. And got accepted for

38:04

the offer and now all the house is.

38:06

It's very beautiful and wonderful now and the

38:08

landed on his leg and so ceiling to

38:10

be stewarding and like when I bought the

38:12

house seen others like junk all over the

38:14

yard and there's is it like he really

38:17

had to be seen. have a nice what

38:19

was there to be like this will be

38:21

the helm so that's been light say year

38:23

and a half process of really making my

38:25

own but as a as a blank canvas

38:27

is doing that and like to spend so

38:29

much hearing in that and man. I've

38:31

built a glam site and the first lion

38:34

flooded and aid relieve night and planners are

38:36

in terms of like a new i wanted

38:38

to build structures but I put tens instead

38:40

and things like that and then now legit.

38:42

that sort of tourists have been legal. Do

38:44

what you really want and what you know

38:47

is is the thing to do. And.

38:49

Like in the place that you know is like say from

38:51

ailments and things and soon. Then

38:53

they and I'm also in the press as the

38:55

starting like an. Artist residency on the land

38:57

with like making an art studio there.

39:00

And said his and suspend so hearing I'm

39:02

twenty nine and Mrs May thirty second address

39:04

and so it isn't so much movement and

39:06

not have the stability and and knowledge and

39:08

as a part of. Reconnecting to the

39:11

linen the home I wanted community who had

39:13

shared similar values and so I doing this

39:15

collected in Vermont that is for by Parker

39:17

people who are interested in. And land

39:19

and caring for the land and the environment and

39:22

things. kind of as an email list. Serve. And

39:24

my now partenariat emailed the list and

39:26

said. That she wanted to go on

39:28

a trip and hadn't hadn't traveled alone and was

39:30

just looking for any advice and I'm someone who

39:32

in a that's what I did for a long

39:35

time was live and work abroad and so I

39:37

was going into her email and and met her

39:39

that way in such as interesting that. That

39:41

sort of connection came because of my desire

39:43

to like deep in that. Community and

39:45

following that call ends it happened

39:48

instead. She lived in a similar

39:50

situation pretty close to her mom and

39:52

sister in a way that my great

39:55

grandmother and grandfather and great aunt lives

39:57

and I remember growing up around and

39:59

love. How much humid snaps this the.

40:01

Sending see now with an incentive to thank all

40:03

of the things. That that come along with

40:05

that. I am really somebody who

40:07

believes think we can do a lot of

40:09

hearing on our own at least for myself

40:12

I can a lot of helium my own

40:14

but so much is only going to come

40:16

up in partnership the name like a big

40:18

believer in do and it big with with

40:20

with a person for for lice and so

40:22

does transitioning from the Tegra really since it's

40:24

a used to have into one where we

40:26

are like building Matt nice sit down every

40:28

Sunday to talk about or goals and like

40:30

individually and collectively and is really taking this.

40:33

It's like one of those things that I believe

40:35

in and that was possible, but now that it's

40:37

happening, it's also sort of lead. I

40:39

don't know that I actually believed it would have

40:41

you know lead ones that said happening here like

40:43

oh yeah like missing this noise impossibility for me

40:45

it just makes so much sense to me now

40:47

why it all had to happen in the ordering

40:49

dead and like why had to learn so many

40:52

lessons. The hard way to get there because it's

40:54

think. This is not a partnership

40:56

to come to you without real intentionality,

40:58

desire to to really build. So that's

41:00

how those two things are sort of

41:02

connecting. I I

41:04

just wanna take a moment and

41:07

knowledge the massive try and of

41:09

all of these situations because. Neither.

41:12

No small thing either. Massive things that even

41:14

you kinda snuck in area like yeah this

41:17

is nice you know, thirty second home and

41:19

twenty nine years and like let's pause and

41:21

even acknowledge that for a second to him

41:23

I think that also speaks to why that's

41:26

a good home You wrote in your submission

41:28

about that too like why having a secret

41:30

home was so and poor and. What?

41:33

Does it mean to have

41:35

this home and. Do

41:38

you think been so clear

41:40

on that meaning coming from

41:42

such an authentic plays. It.

41:44

Helps you know this. This.

41:46

Is the house I want to go visit versus

41:49

the millions of others test you may have

41:51

seen on Zillow. Yeah

41:53

for sure and. More. into

41:55

the first part of the question and met like. I

41:58

have as stability. The

42:00

and a hasty now in my life that I never

42:02

thought was possible. and also had you told me as

42:04

you years ago that I would want I would have

42:06

thought I was like a very. Sunny and

42:08

incorrect really know. What the when? I would

42:11

win in the site ten that it just. Became.

42:13

So true for me so fast that I wanted.

42:16

Community and they weren't instability and he wanted

42:18

to be on the Rand and they wanted

42:20

you know all of that and so having

42:22

the home has been be most hearing it's

42:25

the and summarize to like truly make that

42:27

my own and like let's. Every

42:29

part of me and every age as me

42:31

sort of unload themselves and then home and

42:33

feel big ceilings and at home that expression

42:35

of the different elements of emotion of finally

42:37

just be able to like sort of said

42:40

it all down in one place. Lot

42:42

myself be and let myself.

42:44

Create and let. Others

42:46

come along on that journey which felt scary

42:48

for a long time that have led in.

42:50

I have friends who come and stay when

42:52

they're like going. Through hard times or for more

42:54

fun things like adult. Summer Camp and to have

42:56

a place that. All. Of my siblings

42:58

can com and just like rest and be

43:01

my sister the very talented botanist Hunt a

43:03

culture is said. She came last year for

43:05

my first and growing season. I'm a land

43:07

and like we bless the land together and

43:09

prepared the land together and then some of

43:11

the planting I did with my young nephews

43:13

who came to visit and like. That

43:15

sort of experience suggests and having this

43:17

place it is Myron As a result.

43:19

Is is for. Those who I love were

43:21

in a such an extension a me as just been

43:23

in. Yeah, it's like one of

43:25

those things that I don't think I realized.

43:28

The amount of. Mental. And emotional face

43:30

that constantly moving and being on the move in

43:32

having. That sort of insecurity of place and space

43:34

had on me a lot. What has to go

43:36

wrong before this home to be taken from me?

43:38

That. Means. So much to be ranked. This

43:40

is my little corner of the world and

43:42

like when the world feels really overwhelming knowing

43:44

that I can tend to this land and

43:46

to this community and to this whole into

43:48

their south. That's when I had agency to

43:51

do because I'm like. Rooted here. It's like

43:53

that since of read admit. I'm

43:55

in the midst of manifesting our next old. My

43:58

partner and I are manifests their next space. Like

44:00

yeah yeah yeah the my Hobby map hard

44:02

to my were like i love their so

44:04

year he can to the rate of a

44:07

community here and i think so much of

44:09

the inner child were again and getting to

44:11

that place and true inner self confidence and

44:13

self worth. Is. Nailing

44:16

that thinking security, Yeah, you could.

44:18

Have. One person as manifesting home because they

44:20

want to show off to their friends that

44:22

I bought a home and had fancy and

44:25

look at all the fancy things and then

44:27

when they get in there it they might

44:29

realize it actually was never about the fancy

44:31

things are selling. Author is actually about the

44:33

sole nourishment and the safety and security. But

44:35

I think the beautiful thing ah so that

44:37

your journey is the fact that you started

44:39

off know when that tasteless for that seeking

44:42

security like been so clear is that it

44:44

was deeply aligned with your authenticity which I

44:46

think it's oh cool. Yeah. And

44:48

it also helps when things happen like the

44:50

water heater goes out or something and it's

44:53

as a small sample. But the water heater

44:55

replacement I got blast for Nike's years and

44:57

the thing break. I. Might be fair.

44:59

Yeah that true rudeness her and place and face

45:02

and and also knowing myself like as someone has

45:04

traveled a lot like I just got back

45:06

from a month on trips to a few places

45:08

in South America is it was like I had

45:10

been a by in his home. And

45:12

most of any to be treated that wandering part

45:15

of myself and this know that night. In.

45:17

The dead of winter it might not be a bad idea to

45:19

her to leave for in in a while. By

45:32

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45:34

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45:41

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47:42

Then talk a little the deal That and

47:44

each has the if the East where the

47:46

period in which were manifesting that partnership. Where.

47:49

Their. Love. Lead to use

47:51

a magic dark lifted anything hum off during

47:53

that transition To say no so many people

47:55

are like I want that. I want a

47:57

story new I like where's my partner on

47:59

my he. Where he other out there long

48:01

enough that. I kinda wanna paint a

48:03

picture of what with the head space you were

48:05

in. How. Are you feeling about. Partnership.

48:08

Are you feeling that sense of longing? Eerie

48:10

feeling? Sort of. not. Content. Next

48:12

to. That and manifesting

48:15

the printer won't. For. A long

48:17

time. My list is made up on of things

48:19

Rail is like of he will. We need the

48:21

same educational background and we need the same. I

48:23

guess the best for me to say it is

48:25

that. What I thought I wanted out

48:27

of a partner Actually things that I mourn and

48:29

for myself. and to. Bring into my own nice.

48:32

So. And with hard see

48:34

you seek out of that notion. And

48:37

another thing to add is that a

48:39

number My family. Members aren't not

48:41

thrilled about has isn't a clear

48:43

family member and so. That

48:45

has a lot of test to it's

48:47

you have of thinking about timing and

48:49

about really choosing like ways to have

48:51

her in my life and to their

48:53

partnership. An awesome. Mean team certain relationships that

48:56

to me a really important to maintain a new.

48:58

A lot of people make different choices when that

49:00

scenario consent and you can only know what's right

49:02

for you. But I know for me is that

49:04

every new ones that a beach here. So.

49:07

That is an element of it to that and that

49:09

brings that Tesla. No way but realizing.

49:11

That as a bagel. Life on, believer in

49:13

the big love been like this is how

49:15

it's going to be possible for me is

49:17

is this is who I love. And

49:20

so when I first got to

49:22

Vermont was going to like every

49:24

clear event and like every other

49:26

that saying yes to everything. Just

49:28

because A we sell for me to. Do that.

49:31

It wasn't always in the like a will meet somebody we've

49:33

been and but that was my mind of the said. And.

49:35

They take a lot of saying yes. It

49:37

is My home is Hop. The within the woods

49:39

and I'm very happy there and like it's

49:41

just me there and for so long and

49:43

lived in cities where. I can flight

49:46

to signed the bill and that's really not

49:48

a possibility here and say new is going

49:50

to have to be in another way and

49:52

so when we met we were he has

49:54

she was going through some things and we

49:56

were friends and it took us some time.

49:59

To reckon night that we both a

50:01

i heard this word than this sort

50:03

of sense when you meet somebody of

50:05

the like inevitability as them being a

50:07

big part of your life the it

50:09

romantic or not an ice I sense

50:11

that was harasser. First phone call I

50:13

wrote in my journal like I

50:15

just spoke to someone has in

50:17

my constitution and suspend true for

50:19

me with her and something that

50:21

I am tested on over and

50:23

over again. Is like wanting

50:26

that that vulnerability and connection

50:28

and intimacy of true partnership.

50:31

Requires. That for me, that can be

50:33

a really hard thing of being like I

50:35

want somebody who is all of these things.

50:38

But. Legs. And has to match

50:40

up with my own actions and scientists. He.

50:42

Or she is seemingly operating from an endless

50:44

a while and of patients in tennis and

50:46

growth. In a conversation that we

50:48

had a a just come home from

50:50

visit the family and things like that

50:53

and just a lot. always. Going

50:55

on and I. Threw.

50:57

My first. Sits. Than

50:59

I can remember since I would like to

51:01

and was told not to throw fits anymore

51:04

and like it wasn't really at her but

51:06

it was to do that in fun of

51:08

somebody was just terrifying to me and to

51:10

allow myself to do that was huge and

51:12

it might sound small but it was just

51:14

that. sort of being like things are transforming

51:16

here we're like that instead sort of hearing

51:18

together and I think in that time that

51:20

we sent really getting ready and being honest

51:22

with ourselves about where we needed to do

51:24

some hearing. And some progress in to truly

51:27

be together and be able to choose. Each

51:29

other was hard and also now sits of

51:31

the dividend. His are just beyond and beyond

51:33

and then it's sort of her a funny

51:35

element and the to the she's she's an

51:37

architectural design or in silver and so they've

51:40

been. physical things A.together links his success of

51:42

the glam say and other things and lead.

51:44

Our community is really intertwined. We has so

51:47

many new members who like we are together

51:49

and and know each other in so many

51:51

intersecting laden. Setting was that, you know, that

51:53

sort of immediacy of like being really

51:55

embedded in each other's lives, you mean

51:57

it's a ticket for? Susie's Wow.

52:00

However, You also bring up what

52:02

com that once you enter that container

52:05

of a relationship. Because. They think

52:07

they're so much conversation about, like manifesting that

52:09

person and what does that look like and

52:11

how to get there. That. Says

52:13

where it was. you know like that's just

52:15

the start of everything. Then you have to

52:17

go on this journey of. The. Constant

52:19

evolution. And I mean. I.

52:22

Don't think. There's. Ever

52:24

been a day where

52:26

within partnership I'm not

52:29

constantly again my own.

52:32

Death. In A in greatly news and

52:34

in not greatly as he know but every

52:36

day it's just a reminder. It's this reflection

52:38

insist mirror. It's this. Opportunity.

52:40

For healing and so many different weight

52:42

that is different then they say that

52:44

feeling you have when you are. On.

52:47

Your own and not says he wanted better

52:49

or worse than the other. Both are needed.

52:51

Both are valid after that concept. the. Community.

52:54

Connection to others. I think it can be

52:56

so profound. I think since you and

52:59

end. It definitely takes both kinds and

53:01

to the lot of us doing. Our own work

53:03

in order to be ready to be together And. And

53:06

think think it's a while to see as

53:08

a open up in this relationship with. Her

53:10

More and more I'll send them like

53:12

and more likely to be create as

53:14

cassettes like this safety that's created and

53:16

in and also. Look. At

53:19

things. That I never could have

53:21

brought up for myself. seen I think so

53:23

often in and assume I think uma and

53:25

block anything. Think digging around and find a

53:27

sign that it's and just going wrong with

53:29

length and especially having a partner is near

53:31

and like. These things will. Be. Brought here ten

53:33

Finland meat and and that's and you really have

53:35

a printed because it's never something I would have

53:37

like anticipated. would bring something up for mean impotency.

53:40

It's his and stress. I.

53:42

Think that's one of the biggest

53:45

maybe not misconception that. People.

53:47

Think that. They

53:49

have to sit down and side every

53:51

single route. every single block, everything or

53:54

childhood memory and one city that it's

53:56

like. cool. I'm healed, I'm good, I

53:58

can manifest and it's. Haunted

54:01

see of Evolution. I mean every single

54:03

step and all you really need to

54:05

focus on is what is happening right

54:07

now. I mean leaf really tough sell

54:09

this the like the second you cast

54:11

your list you will be mirrored back

54:13

with all the lesson you need to

54:15

be learning in order to connect with

54:18

that thing. Especially sad thing is coming

54:20

from that soul authentic place in so

54:22

having this opportunity to this witness. And

54:24

even when you don't have big test and triggers

54:26

coming up and you're like what do I

54:28

do now the fact that you're asking what do

54:31

I do now is it's own version of

54:33

a test and a trigger of like how can

54:35

I sit. In. Happiness. How can

54:37

I sit in safety? How can a

54:39

certain comfort without the discomfort around to?

54:42

Yeah for sure and like for me

54:44

at least it's way way more tempting

54:46

delay. Sit. Down and make a list

54:48

of all my blog than like deal with

54:51

why I'm extremely activated by one inconvenience said

54:53

suffered so much easier to their and I

54:55

don't need to worry about that right now.

54:57

I first need to make a list of

54:59

at least a hundred bucks a they have

55:01

it can become it's own, the section and

55:03

away. and when I start paying attention to

55:05

like what's in the here and now and

55:08

being present anything for a lot of us

55:10

who has in a very slice experiences being

55:12

in the present few was really scary and

55:14

can feel really almost impossible at times and

55:16

so. Just. Sending love to everybody says

55:18

to sink trying to get to the present moment

55:20

as much as possible. So.

55:23

So true. What? Are ways

55:25

that you are working with the the

55:27

to be embark on a daily basis.

55:29

would like a little routine you have

55:31

worth anything that you're doing that. With.

55:34

What is your ebb and flow with the work is

55:36

everyone's like how do I apply it? you know outside

55:38

of the challenges and what did I do their. Yeah,

55:40

I'll give one quick story. that is is

55:43

right. Now and we were just following pins I

55:45

think. And. One of them have been some

55:47

I recently as I had a book proposal it was

55:49

like ready to go and I was about to like

55:51

start off on this journey. And. I had

55:53

this thing for a return to this person a word

55:55

for in grad school whose work has nothing to do

55:58

with mine, but he isn't printed A lovely pre. And

56:00

he was writing a book when a certain foreign. Says

56:02

a kid you're tempted to chat and he wasn't

56:04

actually know somebody in from a might be helpful.

56:07

And. He connected us and she lives ten minutes away.

56:09

From Me which is like the Vermont version of living is

56:11

the same day than anywhere else in the world. Like it's

56:13

so close. And. She goes

56:15

writes books and writes books and healthy boy write

56:17

books and edit them and. She. Says like sort of

56:20

taken me under for care and like. Been.

56:22

So helpful and help me to realize the first

56:24

offered than I got was the one incentives to

56:26

send some time really thinking and and how to

56:28

strategize in in in a way that I knew

56:30

a d to Dc like. Just as

56:32

a story of as completely unrelated

56:34

paying was. leading to big things

56:37

and. And following them and that's

56:39

one that recently that's really helped. And. Few.

56:41

Others were and you know I was just family

56:43

and and I think it's important for me to

56:46

and sometimes demas I think said it and p

56:48

seriously like at an element of levity to them.

56:50

The days when I was telling when I was in

56:53

also working at if he had I will follow every

56:55

penny like every instinct is to practice and just like

56:57

Seeley in the body of despair make and then I'll

56:59

do this and moon it. And so that

57:01

can be really son in a completely new. Familiar.

57:03

Context is it's I didn't have that sort of

57:06

mental framework of how he was about this space.

57:08

In this place there a routine. It's a psych

57:10

without hurricane what when I follow? So that's and

57:12

son and then. And. Terms of

57:14

the i have meditation and

57:16

and journaling practice and islands'

57:18

and. Then I do the eyes.

57:21

I think this is and talked about before in

57:23

the packers but like all your nicely get in

57:25

life. In hearing in in in gray

57:27

self growth has led do and in first

57:29

thing in the morning. And. It's like

57:31

I simply don't have four hours for thing

57:34

in the morning. Do everything. That's Van in

57:36

A recommended to me. And said see

57:38

him as than a son One so needs is as

57:40

be able to like sit in between meetings or a

57:42

leg right after work or in the mornings of feels

57:44

right or in the bathtub. The lamb that I live

57:46

on his his own beer and the awful to mean

57:48

there's the stream on the land and so I do

57:50

a lot of the outside one in their the Hill

57:53

a Mullins. I do love the outside one like in

57:55

real time. A week outside year to

57:57

be like, walk up the hill, step into

57:59

the stream, My, you know the throne, the

58:01

brown bubbles and things like that I tried

58:03

to do on an act is A and

58:05

than somebody who has both Ptsd and in

58:07

a D H D diagnosis silly suicide, I

58:09

really have to find ways to work with

58:11

his brain and though A than A all

58:13

accommodate. And deep South Us. says. Something.

58:15

I guess it has been helpful for me as folks

58:18

has a similar ring chemistry is. Really

58:20

more of like time, container creation and

58:22

been links between five thirty and seven.

58:24

I'll do these various things and just

58:26

like letting myself have that embassy like

58:28

what feels good at the time and

58:30

antibiotics and be rounds often. Say into

58:32

there's. The. Very things and then expand

58:34

or work has been sort of taken an

58:36

interesting turn for me. Recently in the news

58:38

literary right I started doing occasional interviews and

58:40

they some myself reaching out to interview people

58:43

who are extruders to me and so that's

58:45

and really fun because it's a one shopping

58:47

and beautiful. The people actually answer emails when

58:49

you email them to be like I'm in

58:51

the city. About you been life. And

58:54

then also. Not. Taking it

58:56

says they will people do is we all get him an

58:58

email and a day and people are so busy that it's

59:00

just like that's been really helpful of like the mr science

59:02

and as a little bit and some people respond some people

59:04

don't. None. Of the Sicilian. Person

59:06

know it's sort of helpful finding for

59:09

me sometimes. Oh yeah. speaking to

59:11

people who have a lot of elements of their lives

59:13

in Elements of Connection in the Lads I Crave has

59:15

been. Really wonderful.

59:17

And I don't even think I really realized that was

59:19

when it was intel as singing about it. Then he

59:21

said. Oh liverpool. This

59:24

is really what that with a has been from. You

59:26

seen even talking for send. More.

59:28

No one in people talking to me as

59:30

appear and as an ice and that eases

59:32

the there in conversation with with similar. Ideas

59:35

so to figure out who are going to care

59:37

for each other in this thing. So.

59:40

Many good things he said in there. I wanna

59:42

almost go back to the it is t just

59:44

because he gets stolen questions about it and so

59:46

much money or leg. How do I go get

59:48

do you believe a whole the I should add

59:50

you them in tongues. What's the best lame. I'd

59:53

love that he did it. yeah I

59:55

think added one. I've heard from the

59:57

committee. That. Comes up a lot is it?

1:00:00

You can move your body. Then.

1:00:02

You can kind of listen and draw fan

1:00:04

on also as a a pleasant thing if

1:00:06

you know something if you're going matches on

1:00:09

Plumbing after seconding Eloquent where we. Did.

1:00:11

Get back into wherever you are you don't

1:00:13

have regard you didn't miss. It is into

1:00:15

anything wrong with allow it to be I

1:00:18

think been helpful thing. is there anything else

1:00:20

there that could be expensive for anyone who

1:00:22

has the my brain chemistry. It's

1:00:25

such a journey. And I think also

1:00:27

like that's another element of having my we need

1:00:29

an emphasis is a part of his work and

1:00:31

like I will make jokes to them about it

1:00:34

if I like get when I might consider off

1:00:36

track in a d i'm not a sort of

1:00:38

last and bring me back to it and like.

1:00:40

Hum along with me and say thing having them

1:00:43

all as of companions and and is in l

1:00:45

and I got my brains from them and many

1:00:47

rings and so it's history. Messengers, fame like. It

1:00:49

takes some of the severity out of in a way because

1:00:51

like. Nothing will get me out of a

1:00:53

d I faster than me being stressed about the

1:00:55

way in which him engaging with a D I

1:00:58

but of I just let it flow and just

1:01:00

letting go of their of the ways in which

1:01:02

we want to control processes and doing sicily the

1:01:04

one way or fully I'm walk into the that.

1:01:06

There's a lot of the eyes that I do

1:01:08

where I'm like that. And nothing

1:01:10

really have in their like i was thinking

1:01:12

about my the deal is the entire time

1:01:15

but training my body just to stay through

1:01:17

and myself as a habit is it's be

1:01:19

like and nevertheless i will lay here and

1:01:21

i will tap on the side of my

1:01:23

legs and till i am that let out

1:01:25

and there and the music stops is suspend

1:01:27

sort of this be with no matter what

1:01:29

happens and staying in this has been. Training

1:01:32

for me so that I just to get frustrated given of

1:01:34

America that I'm gonna be saying in here mine as well

1:01:36

as they try to at least a brick in some way

1:01:39

you know it a severe in myself back and course switches.

1:01:41

To. Know eighty five percent of my waking hours

1:01:43

these me to turning get my testosterone trying to

1:01:45

be. I think to there's

1:01:48

this. This element. And.

1:01:50

I try to like ring for his that the

1:01:52

ounces each the and i can tell that there

1:01:54

is a bit of wanna see it seem and some

1:01:56

part but it's like i wish I could just use

1:01:58

their. It's. Similar. The shadow unearthing

1:02:01

but what? You have? The beautiful?

1:02:03

Guess yeah. And I love how

1:02:05

you were saying. It's just about

1:02:07

figuring out how to. Harness.

1:02:09

The full potential and power of your brain

1:02:11

working in that way. And. Not trying

1:02:13

to fit it into the box of

1:02:15

like how society focuses, how society structures

1:02:18

they're day houses, how a school system

1:02:20

sensors the school day, or how you

1:02:22

should do homework. see the all of

1:02:24

that on it's head and sir to

1:02:26

really listen to. What? Do I need

1:02:28

when? I mean, even for myself? I. Notice

1:02:30

like every two hours I have to

1:02:32

take a break. Yet if I don't

1:02:35

take a break and I power through

1:02:37

the whole thing it is. My energy

1:02:39

completely depletes Number Generator so extensively I

1:02:41

should have endless energy. But actually those

1:02:43

breaks are everything to me and I

1:02:46

had to on my calendar put like

1:02:48

a hard far through two times during

1:02:50

the day. Rivals like after this break?

1:02:52

no and. No one party

1:02:54

me. Email me, message, lack, whatever,

1:02:57

Break I. Will come back after and

1:02:59

figuring out what are those things that

1:03:01

you need to south nourish. In.

1:03:04

Processing and putting things out and doing your

1:03:06

work and purpose and all the things and

1:03:08

things you want to accomplish. So.

1:03:11

Every I think that is. Trying

1:03:13

to get a divorce from forcing thing. This

1:03:15

is the league along. Sonia process but a worthwhile

1:03:17

and because when I try to force creativity of course

1:03:19

since and come up or when he does it. Do.

1:03:22

Want my body is asking me to do My

1:03:24

mind is a seemingly to do everything gets and

1:03:26

I think that reclaiming few as and I know

1:03:28

some has an issue. People say this I roll

1:03:31

my eyes are gone on days when they really

1:03:33

feel like I'm fighting my brain but I'll that

1:03:35

as a like a beautiful blame that like there's

1:03:37

some things that can do that led. Others

1:03:40

with different chemistry seven war with

1:03:42

inside. I have like seven arms

1:03:44

of my career and it all happens

1:03:46

because I get a little bit high

1:03:48

on the process of like meeting it

1:03:50

all happen, including it in in like playing

1:03:52

that sort of Tetris like I'm a

1:03:54

lifelong love affair with Tetris in any

1:03:56

form, especially like Stencil Tetris and so time

1:03:59

to like me. My salvos. Of

1:04:01

the traits the come along with the other challenges ladies do

1:04:03

you would like take away so much of what I love

1:04:05

of of my life said. sort of like the trashy thing

1:04:07

where they can get rid of the things they last. Lol.

1:04:11

Would be some thane Maybe it's a monster that

1:04:13

you are you have going with your inner child

1:04:15

that you say to that in that moment them

1:04:17

convert or. What? Is something that you would

1:04:19

have said to your inner child. Or a

1:04:22

diversion of self who had been at that

1:04:24

rock bottom who is seeking this work who

1:04:26

was like oh my gosh all these things

1:04:28

the my less to sell way. And.

1:04:30

Feeling that kind of hopelessness? Fair. What?

1:04:33

Words of encouragement would you send to that Perth

1:04:35

them. Ah that

1:04:37

is sensitive person I would hold. Them I

1:04:39

think they're be a lot of silence and

1:04:41

that I would says really fold that version

1:04:43

of myself and this can be so tricky

1:04:46

for mean A because. I'm so

1:04:48

proud of the past versions of myself.

1:04:51

And I also go wanna go back and reiterate

1:04:53

to them and part of the for getting through

1:04:55

this because when I really want to say to

1:04:57

them insists. I love them because like

1:04:59

saying I'm proud of them, I'm saying I've been

1:05:01

proud of myself has. Like reinforce my.

1:05:04

Lifelong habit and and drive of just like

1:05:06

going into overdrive and over achieving and over

1:05:08

you know, and it's been like I will

1:05:11

get to this and forcing and forth in

1:05:13

enforcing them so maybe it would be something

1:05:15

they'd. And the

1:05:17

new be I love you. I think that's

1:05:19

actually what over his immunity to here and

1:05:21

just to be held because they're the rest

1:05:23

switches and so proud of them for for

1:05:25

a what they've done in I also just.

1:05:28

Wouldn't. Want to? Insinuate

1:05:30

that that's what they need to keep

1:05:32

doing order to receive. Oh

1:05:35

my gosh, that Is So true. I.

1:05:37

Really identify with the care taking part

1:05:39

and that the perfectionist part that wants

1:05:41

to. Go. Through and. Get. Through

1:05:44

everything and prove oh my gosh look at

1:05:46

all these things that hindu and and handle

1:05:48

on. And it's almost like insane.

1:05:50

I'm proud to say to of he will

1:05:52

I must have done something that was good

1:05:54

like keep doing more of that my and

1:05:56

so almost set up since of proud. Yeah,

1:05:59

live free he of love right now as

1:06:01

you are not dealing not be not prove

1:06:03

a nutshell. Lane is actually exactly what they

1:06:05

need. I mean taking that and for myself

1:06:07

using the of yeah as like a funny

1:06:09

anecdote like in an inner child is the

1:06:12

driver's seat. the idea in a date. The

1:06:14

part of me that came up was bad

1:06:16

News Bears and she was like seven year

1:06:18

old me in a bear costume. All.

1:06:20

You can do is love that person and I've seen

1:06:23

as to say that they like. In

1:06:25

front of the inner world I bill as a part

1:06:27

of this work in other words and then there's just

1:06:29

a sort of almost retreat place. rice and the different

1:06:31

taxes me ones who have the covers his we need

1:06:33

to just sort of be and to dance and the

1:06:35

play him whenever. And so I think for

1:06:37

a lot of them it would just be sort

1:06:39

of to send them there when it's just like

1:06:41

once you really meet nice parts I see like

1:06:44

the only thing I consider them as I will

1:06:46

be busy just see their sweet benefits as he

1:06:48

nearly funny you can think of the a

1:06:50

bear costume inches and co we know the like

1:06:52

anything that helps because I'm around and delivered so

1:06:55

many babies and children and need to see blood,

1:06:57

the authenticity of their needs and wants and desires

1:06:59

and they just sort of innocence of it all

1:07:01

And you're just said the honey is. From.

1:07:04

Where we all com and in as seeing

1:07:06

that crew magical moment of people coming onto

1:07:08

the planet and ceiling their ancestors rush in

1:07:10

and as being a part of that process

1:07:12

is is like we're all born with a

1:07:14

moment like Vince regardless of how her birth

1:07:16

have them and sell like being a part

1:07:19

of that has as many rewrite like I

1:07:21

need to protect that for myself and everybody

1:07:23

other all classes like them. Pure magic is

1:07:25

that. Moment of Rent. Deciding to in

1:07:27

and be a part of this planet. I

1:07:30

love it here! Thank you So let's Murphy!

1:07:32

This is an incredible I feel like one

1:07:34

that a lot of people will come back

1:07:36

till n and have to say you. Have

1:07:39

such a calming. Hasn't.

1:07:42

Even. When we first talked on I

1:07:44

mean guys you weren't privy to death

1:07:46

but like i microphone didn't work sleep

1:07:49

feel is is not have in and

1:07:51

tell Dad came home like he was

1:07:53

just like wanted to play a and

1:07:55

was not down and mom recording podcast

1:07:58

and your energy he brought me. The

1:08:00

present moment in the recording and

1:08:02

you just have such a way

1:08:04

as holding. this is very secure.

1:08:07

Solid Energy and Be is an

1:08:09

Iceland company on that because it

1:08:11

is really palpable. That's really

1:08:13

kind. I really appreciate that and he is

1:08:16

will commit a know every confesses. Oh

1:08:19

they knew so minds and we see

1:08:21

you guys are all next time. I

1:08:31

hope you all enjoy that episode as

1:08:33

much as we did. And if you're

1:08:35

starting to get a feel for the

1:08:37

to be magnetic manifestation process that aren't

1:08:39

completely sold yes, let me point you

1:08:41

to some of our free offering. You

1:08:43

can check out the extended podcast episode

1:08:46

called How to Manifest Anything You desire.

1:08:48

Really see the founder and I break

1:08:50

down exactly what this process is all

1:08:52

about. You can check out The Motivation,

1:08:54

which is a testimonial library with thousands

1:08:56

of testimony of people who have manifested

1:08:58

wild things. He's in this process. Or

1:09:01

you could try that are free Clay's

1:09:03

to find out what manifestation phase you

1:09:05

were in. The right, the rock bottom,

1:09:07

the next level where the magic dark

1:09:10

and how you can navigate. Enjoy! We'll

1:09:12

see you next.