The greatest league in the world has returned, and boy was it a doozy! From first-minute penalties in Seattle, to the Naeher-aissance denying Utah their first-ever win in front of a "sold out" crowd, to 17-year-old Kennedy Fuller making as many headlines as Bay FC goalscorer Asisat Oshoala, there were narratives galore. 

But Eric, Evan, and Arianna can only focus on one thing: the Kansas City Current and Portland Thorns opening CPKC Stadium with nine goals, tying the NWSL single-game record. Did Mike Norris make a wise decision rolling out an entirely new backline? Did Vlatko Andonovski properly adjust to Janine Beckie's arrival in the second half? What on earth was Christine Sinclair doing starting the game at right wing? They get into all of it and more. 

Art by Eli ElbogenMusic by Devin Drobka's Bell Dance Songs