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or small , is appreciated . Now let's get into

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the video . Okay

0:34

, so you broke up with the guy , but

0:36

you broke up with the guy because

0:38

you went through this class , is it

0:40

or no ? No , you broke up with the guy because you , you came

0:42

down , you felt god , so the healing part

0:45

of this was from the

0:47

damage that it did . That's

0:49

why you needed the healing . So talk about that . Like

0:51

what . What made you decide that

0:53

, even though you , you felt god told

0:56

you that you needed to make the

0:58

decision , you did

1:00

it right . You put it on paper , you

1:02

sent it to him , you , you

1:05

knew in your heart that

1:07

it was the right decision . So

1:10

what was it that

1:12

I'm going somewhere ? What was it that made you

1:14

feel that you needed to go to this class

1:17

, like what was still inside

1:19

of you , in your mind , in your heart , like what

1:21

was it that you felt you need freedom from ? I'm

1:23

asking this because a lot of people will

1:26

do something over here that

1:28

solves a problem relationally

1:30

, but then they still have bondage mentally

1:32

and spiritually . So what made

1:34

you decide to go from ? Okay , I handle business

1:37

, that's taken care of , but

1:39

you recognize in you that there was still something

1:41

that you needed to handle for you . So what

1:44

was it that made you feel like you needed to take the class

1:46

? Was it you still , technically , weren't over

1:48

him , you still were grieving

1:51

, I mean , because it was a loss . You

1:53

know You're still in a grieving process

1:55

. Like what did that look like ?

1:56

There was just some bad

1:58

emotional baggage that I had

2:01

, yeah , some anger , some

2:03

bitterness , resentment , some

2:05

unforgiveness .

2:07

That's important because you can

2:09

know what God told you to do and

2:11

do it , but still you have

2:13

to live in the echo of what happened or what

2:15

you were dealing with . And there's

2:17

oftentimes like pastors

2:20

go through this or leaders in churches will go through this , where

2:22

they'll help everybody else , they'll

2:24

get everybody else

2:26

well , and they end up suffering in silence

2:28

themselves because they never actually address their own stuff

2:30

and like you're doing right

2:32

now , telling other people , hey , you probably need to break up with

2:35

them , but then you didn't yet have

2:37

that freedom to speak from a place of freedom

2:39

to show them the next steps

2:41

. After so , anger

2:43

, bitterness . Even though you did the right thing

2:46

, you were still angry . Now

2:48

, what was stemming from the anger ?

2:56

Like , where did that come from ? It was the fact that you know he , he misabused me

2:58

. I'm like he . Just he manipulated me to doing things that I otherwise

3:01

wouldn't have done yeah I

3:03

was like I was mad because

3:05

, like , like you did

3:07

this , to why

3:10

like all these things he

3:12

did . I'm just like I

3:14

want answers to yes yeah

3:17

but sometimes I can

3:19

move on without it yeah I

3:21

can live without

3:23

knowing that stuff all

3:26

about him .

3:26

All this time . He

3:28

never considered always .

3:29

It was always about him , always on him

3:32

. He never considered my feelings

3:34

, how I felt about things

3:36

. No

3:38

respect whatsoever again

3:41

no respect .

3:42

That may be too old for some of y'all , but

3:45

that's , that's a good . A lot

3:47

of times , I think in relationships respect

3:49

is men desire to be respected

3:51

, but I think sometimes we forget to

3:54

give that back to the woman . Yes

3:56

, women love security . Women like to be taken care

3:58

of . They want their needs met , but also both

4:01

parties need respect too .

4:02

Yeah , I don't know , no

4:06

way , no way .

4:08

That's a big one right there . Not respecting the parents , that

4:11

was one of my . It's

4:14

funny that I look back now I don't ask

4:16

my son this , but when I

4:18

would talk about dating a girl or whatever

4:20

, or saying my dad would say , is she filled

4:22

with the holy ghost ? And I said , oh no , dad

4:24

, I've been doing for like three weeks . He's

4:27

like , well , son , if she ain't filled with the holy ghost

4:29

, you know the whole pentecostal stuff , but

4:32

but but things , the

4:34

things like that that are

4:36

important to us should be important , like honoring

4:39

your parents , like you honor them , is

4:41

important in finding someone that you're going to

4:43

marry . I mean , that's the whole reason for for

4:45

dating people is to find somebody to , to be with

4:47

, to share a life with .

4:49

Like the dates . The

4:52

dates are cheap . Now

4:55

you know what she really wants . Like let's go to

4:57

the hobby tree and let's get some white

5:00

cakes and some chips only . Oh

5:02

, let's go to Putt-Putt I

5:05

used to work there so we can get around and go

5:07

for free , Cause I know one

5:09

of the managers .

5:10

Well , at least he was staying in the budget . He

5:12

never paid for anything . He never really paid .

5:15

He never really paid , so you didn't

5:17

really go on dates , I mean maybe

5:19

the first few dates . He paid for

5:21

the meals , for the activities

5:23

.

5:24

Yeah .

5:24

But after that it just all went downhill

5:27

.

5:27

Oh , he hooked you . He got you with the first couple free

5:29

meals like a drug dealer First time's free

5:32

.

5:32

There was one date that

5:35

we were on . It was me , him

5:38

and my stepsister . We

5:40

were at the Hall of Fame in a tree ate our food

5:43

, and I looked at him . He

5:45

was paying for his meal . I

5:48

looked at him . I said well , aren't

5:50

you going to pay for our

5:52

meal too ? He said

5:54

no , because

5:57

I'm trying to save up for

5:59

our future .

6:00

So he was going to feed you to save for your future . Yeah

6:03

Well , if you don't get fed , you won't make it to your

6:05

future .

6:06

I'm thinking hold on , how

6:08

does that work ?

6:11

How does that work ? Well , his mom was always in the picture trying

6:14

to . She interfered with the breakup no

6:16

oh okay

6:17

no but you

6:20

don't remember .

6:21

That's

6:25

not a traumatizer that much . If she didn't

6:28

, she forgave . She don't remember that .

6:29

I don't know I don't remember that apartment

6:32

. Look how I met this

6:34

guy back in 2019

6:36

, fresh out of high school , going into college

6:39

, and this beautiful nikon

6:41

my grandpa got me yeah

6:43

, and I just wanted to learn more about how

6:46

to use it , figure out how to get started

6:48

. So I just went out and did all on my own

6:50

because going to college , the

6:53

professor had just retired . I'm

6:55

angry about that . Still , I

6:58

thought to this day because

7:00

I just that ended the whole photography

7:02

program I roll it .

7:04

Wow , but hold

7:06

on side note . Shameless plug . Tell

7:09

them about your business . Go ahead

7:12

and tell them while we're here might as well

7:14

, but while she's telling you , go ahead and subscribe

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to the channel .

7:16

Thank , I am also a photographer

7:19

franklin arts photography

7:21

on facebook . Franklin

7:23

underscore underscore arts on instagram

7:26

. Follow me , message

7:29

me for anything

7:31

really , except for except

7:34

extreme photos , please . No

7:37

, it was great , but I got a message yesterday

7:39

from someone saying saying

7:42

all my photos taken . I'm like okay

7:44

, is that's me all ? How old

7:47

are you ? You look young that's

7:49

the first flag right there yes , I

7:51

am young , I'm in

7:53

my 20s , I was

7:55

. I was gonna take extreme photos . How

7:57

?

7:57

extreme . Are we talking here bmx

8:00

skateboarding ? What are we talking about ?

8:01

extreme sports exactly that's what I'm thinking . I'm thinking

8:04

like skateboarding bmx

8:06

yeah all those things , parkour

8:09

even . And then he messaged back saying naked

8:13

I'm like whoa .

8:17

Welcome to the internet , people , where all

8:19

the perverts live .

8:20

Okay .

8:23

Yeah .

8:23

He messaged back saying thank you , but

8:25

I cannot help you in the department

8:27

. He messaged back with a

8:29

thumbs up emoji . I blocked him

8:32

. I'm leaving the message like

8:34

I would have reported him

8:36

. I report those jokers and

8:38

talked to one of my friends outside and he

8:40

said block and report

8:42

. I said done , already

8:45

done .

8:45

He said good so let's

8:47

get back to the , the freedom stuff . So now

8:49

that you're out of the class

8:52

on the other side , do you feel

8:54

that you have truly

8:57

forgiven and released

8:59

that ? Or is

9:01

it kind of a little bit like sanctification

9:04

, kind of an ongoing process ? Because

9:06

I have been married to Jesse

9:09

for nine years in April , but

9:11

11 years ago , 12 years ago , I

9:14

was severely hurt by my first

9:16

wife and sometimes

9:19

that anger still can , still

9:21

can try to come up and make it to the surface . Yeah

9:24

, so , but

9:26

but before we go there , sorry , let's go back into

9:28

the class . So what were some of the steps that

9:30

you did to get rid of for

9:32

people out there that maybe are on the other side of a bad

9:35

relationship ? What were some of the steps that

9:37

you did , or some of the steps you learned to

9:39

release that anger , to

9:41

deal with the anger , the bitterness , the

9:44

anxiety that can come with stuff like that ? What were

9:46

some of the things , some of the tools that were given to you

9:48

in this class that kind of helped you

9:50

release that and really give it to God ? The

9:52

booklet .

9:54

The booklet .

9:55

What's the booklet Explain ?

9:56

Like each week , of course

9:59

, the course is each week we have one

10:01

course to go through .

10:02

Oh , so you're talking about the course you actually went through ? Yeah

10:04

, okay .

10:11

We , we have a little section we go through each week . So in each section

10:13

, it talks about this , what this is and this , how to deal with it

10:16

. Yeah , like with the forgiveness , talk to god about it and

10:19

, of course , god . What do I need to do

10:21

to ? What do I need to do to

10:23

forgive this person from

10:25

x y z , x

10:28

y z , and how do I do it

10:30

? For me it was , how

10:32

do I forgive him for all the mental

10:35

abuse that he caused me ?

10:37

on trauma . So what was that answer ? Like

10:39

what ? What is it that helps you

10:42

to not forgive in a moment's

10:44

note , like in that moment , in a moment

10:46

in time , but to continually

10:48

forgive him every single day

10:50

? Now , I understand a lot of times

10:52

. The time will

10:55

help you forgive because

10:58

you'll be further and further away from the initial

11:00

hurt . But what

11:02

is it that you learned from the class ? That was

11:04

a tool to get you to that place

11:07

, to where you could . It

11:09

took time and it took effort because I guess

11:11

since the breakup it's been a little bit of time , a couple

11:14

. You know what a year and six months or

11:16

so when you took the class , how

11:18

long ago was it yeah like yeah , six months , because

11:20

it was last fall yeah yeah fall

11:23

so that was yeah time . So

11:25

time , the

11:28

of God obviously reads scriptures . Do

11:30

you remember offhand some scriptures

11:32

? Or maybe from your book that was something

11:34

that had to do with forgiveness , that maybe

11:36

something that you wrote on your heart , or maybe you memorized

11:39

to keep you forgiving

11:41

? Oh , I sure remember

11:44

something . Yeah , oh , yeah , talk about the balloon . You

11:46

always walk out there with the balloons on . Yes , okay

11:49

, tell it what that is , what that means

11:51

the balloon .

11:53

The balloon is to represent the white

11:55

part , is to represent , it's

11:57

the god . And then there's

12:00

a ribbon , a red ribbon , then , attaching

12:03

the god to basically

12:06

the wrist , which is , and that represents

12:08

, the blood of Jesus .

12:09

Okay .

12:10

What you do is you write the names

12:12

of the people you're forgiving

12:15

on the balloon . When

12:17

you release that balloon , you're supposed

12:19

to be giving it all to God . It's

12:22

a symbol , right , a symbol of I'm

12:25

giving this to you , yeah , because it's

12:27

done .

12:28

I think sometimes in processes

12:30

like this , it takes that symbol so

12:32

that you can have something tangible in your hands

12:34

, because forgiveness is something you don't see , it's

12:36

not something you can actually wrap your hands on . So to give

12:39

that to God and let it go . So y'all just let

12:41

it go , put helium in it , just let it float up in the

12:43

air .

12:44

Well , it's actually already blown up . It's

12:46

a helium balloon .

12:54

So we just let it go and just be free . When you let something

12:56

go , like when you , that's an example , you know that's just not . If

12:58

I let it go when this person

13:00

, I can never come back to your mind

13:02

. You can't .

13:05

Yeah , yeah , exactly , exactly

13:08

, yeah , I can't give again , because I've

13:10

gave it to God . Yeah yeah

13:13

, forgiveness is

13:15

an ongoing process . It's

13:17

not a once and done thing .

13:20

Someone explained it to me , like talking about

13:22

forgiveness or your burdens and

13:24

the way they said it . For some reason it just stuck with me and

13:26

it made a lot of sense . Like we come

13:29

to the altar to give

13:31

our burdens to the lord but

13:34

leave them there , don't pick them up when you leave the altar . And

13:37

that was . It's kind of the same thing . Yeah , once

13:39

you let it go , once you let that

13:41

go in physical terms , it's impossible to get it

13:43

back .

13:43

Yeah , I mean , of course the satan didn't come back and remind you . Let that go

13:45

. In physical terms it's impossible to get it back . Yeah , I mean , of course

13:47

satan didn't come back and remind you of that same thing over and over

13:50

and over again . But you have to

13:52

, you have . This is why

13:54

thank you , steven and ringweed

13:56

for saying it we have to be grounded

13:59

in the word of god . We have to

14:01

be prepared when the enemy comes

14:03

against us so

14:06

we can attack him .

14:08

Are you saying you've got some spiritual maturity going on over

14:10

there ?

14:11

Pretty much that's

14:13

good .

14:14

So , on the outside of the class , what

14:16

are some of the things from the class that now you apply

14:19

to your everyday walk , your

14:21

everyday journey of continuing

14:23

to forgive ? What does that look like

14:25

for you ? What ? What from the class ? Some

14:27

key points or or things you

14:29

have lodged in your memory and down into your

14:31

heart to give you good , healthy

14:33

fruit , not only in the spirit

14:36

, but mentally , physically , emotionally , like

14:38

? What are some of the things from the classes you apply every day ?

14:40

funny thing . You'd say good roots or

14:43

good fruits . I'm sorry , because

14:45

in anger , the anger

14:47

you talk about good fruits

14:50

produce good root or good roots

14:52

produce good fruits . Yeah , bad roots

14:54

produce bad fruits

14:57

yeah and I have to remember

14:59

that every day , when I'm especially at work

15:01

I was wondering what you did

15:04

.

15:04

I saw you putting some stuff on it earlier . I'm like man , she did

15:06

something .

15:07

That's a bad burn . Oh yeah , absolutely

15:09

. What'd you do ? So ? Potatoes

15:12

You're going to hear this story . Potatoes , I

15:14

make three pans of them . I'm like

15:16

, okay , sticky potatoes , peel

15:19

them , wash them and

15:21

just peel them . Come up , pour

15:26

, just peel them , cut them up , put it on the stove . I'll do half , I'll half it , 30

15:28

and 30 . So got

15:31

the first three boiled , picked up

15:33

the pot , I went to transfer

15:36

it and my grip started

15:38

slipping . I

15:40

was like it's either me , it's

15:43

right here . I was

15:45

like it's either me

15:47

, it's right here . I was like it's either me or the potatoes , and

15:50

I was not about to just tell them that's it

15:52

done and just let them burn my legs

15:54

, because that would have been worse . Instead

15:57

, I said so . I said

15:59

that's it , we're going down together . We're

16:01

going down together . We're going down together , lost

16:04

a couple of potatoes . Potatoes lost a little bit

16:06

of skin . But I mean what ?

16:07

it's okay , yeah little potato , little

16:09

skin . Potatoes have skin . There

16:11

you go . So bad

16:13

roots , bad fruit , good roots

16:16

, good fruits . So did

16:18

y'all learn about fruits of the spirit in there ?

16:20

yeah , for the spirit yeah

16:23

, go over a little . Okay , got

16:25

bad fruit , get free , bring

16:28

the spirit on one side of the end . That's

16:31

.

16:31

Yes , that's true , okay , the flesh . Yeah , was

16:36

that a big hurdle for you , or a big , a big one

16:38

?

16:38

that was an issue was anger yeah , that kind of

16:40

was one because he , because

16:42

he did , because , again , the mental

16:45

abuse , the manipulation

16:47

, the way his parents carnal

16:50

, with with them being autistic

16:52

and bipolar , having

16:54

a lot of issues with

16:56

just him .

16:58

Yeah , a lot of issues . So how did

17:00

you get past your anger then ? Because that's probably a big one for

17:02

a lot of people realizing that

17:04

I can't hold on that stuff .

17:06

Man , the more I'll hold

17:09

on this stuff , the more damage

17:11

I'm doing to myself yeah more

17:13

harm trying to get on the same goes

17:15

, I don't know it's like drinking poison

17:17

and expecting someone else to die yeah I've

17:20

heard like what was it

17:22

?

17:22

anger . Anger always hurts you , like

17:24

you could be so angry with someone , so bitter at somebody

17:26

, and you'll see them

17:28

again and they won't even know how

17:31

much damage they're doing to you and

17:34

it's all you're . You're turning it back internal

17:36

, like it's not hurting them at all to be

17:38

up , for you to be upset with them at all

17:40

. Like you said at the very beginning , like forgiveness

17:43

. A

17:51

part of that forgiveness is understanding that it's not about them , it's about

17:53

you being free .

17:54

But so , from a day to day , how you doing as every day , day to day , it's not

17:56

easy , of course , but I

17:58

have to remember it's yours

18:01

, it's not mine .

18:02

Cheers so specifically on

18:05

this live stream today , we've talked about

18:07

more of

18:09

a relationship , finding freedom from those relationship

18:12

, poisonous relationships

18:14

that we should let go and not continue

18:16

to be a part of . So what would be

18:18

some closing thoughts for someone either

18:20

in a bad relationship that

18:23

is not good for them , or on

18:25

the other side , and

18:27

they're kind of how you felt . They're

18:29

in that , that space

18:31

of all kinds of emotions mauled

18:34

up and just shook up real

18:36

hard . You know , like it's almost what it feels

18:38

like , like you take a soda bottle and you shake it up

18:40

and it's just like eventually it's gonna pop

18:42

and you can either gently

18:44

release the pressure or it's going to

18:46

blow up and usually it'll end up hurting the people around you the most

18:49

. So what would be some encouraging words

18:51

you can give to somebody that's either in it or

18:53

has been through it and they're trying to heal ?

18:56

If you're in it , as

18:58

in just leaning on God , leaning

19:01

on those close to you , seeking

19:04

wise counsel , because

19:07

the older generation

19:09

, believe it or not , they actually know something

19:11

yeah they actually know something

19:13

about our relationships y'all can't

19:16

see it , but she's praising the lord in the corner

19:18

over there .

19:19

She's like , yes , she's right , I do

19:21

know things more than most of all

19:23

of us . But yeah , sorry

19:25

, go ahead .

19:25

It's okay . And for those of you who

19:27

have been through it already and

19:29

are still trying to get over it , walking

19:32

through that freedom and

19:34

that day-to-day process , like I am , again

19:37

seek wise counsel . Those of the older

19:39

generation know as best those

19:41

log things .

19:43

Yeah Well , morgan , thank you so much for coming

19:45

on and sharing your story . I really appreciate you taking

19:47

time out of your day . Thank

19:53

you , sister Stella , for coming and being a support . She is the lady

19:55

for finding freedom . Her

19:57

story is an amazing story . One day I'd like to get her on

19:59

here and share her story . So , once

20:02

again , thank you so much for joining the live

20:04

stream . If you're watching this later , thank you , make sure you like

20:06

and share the video and

20:08

go over to our YouTube channel

20:10

. Make sure you subscribe to the channel If

20:13

you're on Facebook , faith and Failures , if you're

20:15

on Instagram , faith and Failures , or if you ever

20:17

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20:19

, whether in person , like we are today , or

20:21

if you want to do a live stream

20:23

, zoom call we can also do it that

20:26

way as well . Faithandfailures at

20:28

gmailcom . You can reach out to

20:30

me there Also . Most of you know that

20:32

at least once a week , if I get the

20:34

time , I also do a

20:36

kind of reaction videos where we talk about scripture and

20:39

we look at what's going on in the culture . We

20:41

should be biblical people that are living

20:43

in the culture , not culture people trying to

20:45

Read the bible every now and then . So

20:48

we want to tackle the culture head on

20:50

. Know what the scripture says so that you

20:52

can know truth when you're faced with a

20:54

lie . Thank you all so much . We'll

20:56

see you next time and

20:59

have a great week .

21:03

Faith and failures podcast

21:05

.