0:00

I guapo, Oh

0:03

did you get a hair cut? Did you get a little

0:05

trim? Trim? Man, I'm working on a show

0:07

right now. I'm always getting haircuts. You look

0:09

good. I'm not gonna I'm not gonna blow smoke,

0:12

but you're looking fine. You can blow

0:14

smoke if you want you.

0:16

I will blow smoke all over you, oh

0:20

boy, and I will watch it ripple

0:22

all open my curves, all

0:24

through your crevices and nooks. We need to get this

0:26

out because we're about to invite my mom on the show. Any

0:28

naughty talk needs to come out right now. Okay,

0:31

Well, I'm gonna say this. Your mom's book

0:33

made me cry. I

0:35

mean too, dude. It made me cry

0:37

a lot. Like I was sitting there like, wow,

0:40

this is you know, and I just read it before

0:42

we did the show. So as

0:44

I was walking up the stairs, I was like, get your shit together,

0:46

buck, tell

0:49

her that because that'll really move her. And of course

0:51

it made me cry too. We today,

0:53

guys are gonna have my mom on the show and welcome,

0:56

welcome, welcome, and we

0:58

um we're we're gonna be shifting a little

1:00

bit because Donald and I are both going back to work. So

1:02

um o our one year pandemic.

1:05

Job is going to have to shift a little bit. We're

1:07

doing this on a Sunday afternoon.

1:09

Thank you Joel and Dale for accommodating

1:11

us, and

1:13

um and and then and then we're gonna have a big

1:15

old party with the live show, which

1:17

is a Friday, the twenty

1:19

six, So we're skipping an episode,

1:22

but we're gonna come back to it later on.

1:24

I guess that's what's gonna happen. Yes,

1:26

if you have a ticket to the live show, technically

1:28

you will still get two shows this week. I'm just

1:30

saying you have. So

1:34

please don't yell at us for going back to one show

1:37

here and there, because we just can't. This has been

1:39

so awesome And don't think we don't love doing

1:41

it, but we're so thrilled

1:43

that we actually have a chance to do

1:45

some of the work we really do love

1:48

to entertain. You are acting and

1:50

and um and so we're going back to work

1:52

for reels. Yes, yes, yes, but

1:54

we're gonna keep the show going because we love

1:56

doing it. So it's just gonna it might not be twice

1:59

a week all the time. Um, it might

2:01

just be once a week. We also want to have the fun

2:03

of folding in special guests like Donald's mom

2:05

and my mom and lots of Um, we

2:07

talked to all the stuff we've told you about about people

2:09

from the show, the stand ins. Um,

2:12

Joel is working on contacting

2:14

the stand ins and some fun crew members

2:16

and all that stuff. UM.

2:18

So I just wanted to let's just go through a couple logistics

2:21

for the live show, because I did see there were tons of questions

2:23

on my Instagram, and I'm sure Donald's years as well.

2:25

UM. I'm off Twitter, but Joel, I'm sure you're

2:27

getting Twitter questions, so fill

2:30

in any blanks. Um. The answer

2:32

is, it is totally not globe. What

2:34

do they call that global locked? Geo

2:37

locked? What's that term? I don't

2:39

know it. I don't know, I don't know what. Well, some people ask if it's

2:42

geo whatever. The point is, you can watch

2:44

it anywhere stad Um,

2:47

Kenya, Italy,

2:50

the Uzbekistan. Probably

2:52

not North Korea. I'm guessing I'm

2:55

sure you could if if you if you were in Waconda.

2:58

It's playing in Waconda, Yes, Conda,

3:00

It's available everywhere. It's

3:02

available. Now, you might

3:04

say, but Zach and Donald and Joel and Daniel,

3:06

I can't stay up in the middle of the night. That's fine.

3:09

If you buy a ticket, you can

3:11

then listen until April second

3:13

or right, Joel, Yes, it's

3:15

a full week after it premieres, so

3:17

I believe. There you go, so you get a week to listen to

3:20

it, or sorry, watch it. Watch it now.

3:22

We have been outfitted with dope mega

3:25

cameras, so we're gonna look so pretty. We're gonna

3:27

look as we're gonna look our prettiest. Also,

3:29

Donald and I are both getting in shape to act, so

3:32

we look as handsome as we've ever looked. Well,

3:34

I don't look as handsome as I've ever looked. I'm

3:38

on the road. You're

3:41

looking good, buddy, You're looking fine. You looking

3:43

fly. You are a

3:45

gentleman and a scholar. There's going to Bill

3:47

Lawrence is our is our main guest. He's

3:49

very excited. He called me with so many questions

3:52

from London. He's returning. He'll be returning

3:54

from ted Lasso production to come

3:57

be on our show. And

4:00

and that's it. I think it's going to be roughly two hours

4:02

what we're aiming for. It'll be if you're in North

4:04

America, it will be six on the

4:06

West coast nine on the East Coast,

4:09

and of course for all the other countries. You just have to

4:11

google the time difference

4:13

between you and Los Angeles, um,

4:15

and you can watch it live and if you're in the middle of the night

4:17

and it's asleep, you can watch it the next day or blah blah

4:19

blah blah blah, do well anything. I'm forgetting

4:21

to explain to people that might have questions, I

4:24

don't think. So some'clock you guys can come in. We saw

4:26

people in the chat already.

4:27

Yeah, the chat isn't

4:29

up and running, so go

4:32

for yours. Not that we'll be up

4:34

in there, but no, no, no, there'll

4:36

be other fake doctor's, real friends fans in there.

4:39

So if you ll talk with

4:41

your with your peers, go

4:44

right ahead. The sound machine will

4:46

be labeled so I won't accidentally hit

4:48

the wrong thing. Wo tank forever and

4:51

um forever. All

4:55

right, let's go ahead and let's invite my mom

4:57

and the show. Yeah,

4:59

let's count said baby, five, six,

5:01

seven, eight stories about

5:04

shore we made about

5:06

a bunch of docs and nurses. Jan

5:10

I said, here's the stories. Never

5:13

should so

5:16

yetto around you. Here are yeadoo

5:19

around you here

5:20

at oh

5:26

my God, I'm nervous. Hi,

5:32

Hi, mommy, Hi. I'm just

5:35

making sure I'm doing this right. Mom.

5:37

Don't worry about ninety eight percent of

5:39

the people we have on have trouble connecting,

5:41

So don't worry, especially Sarah Chuck

5:44

for some reason. Yeah, Sarah Chuck every single

5:46

time, Well every time, you've been good

5:48

company. Yeah yeah, yeah to

5:51

Donald, because I haven't really said hi, sweetheart,

5:54

how a Hi, how are you? It's good

5:56

to see you and to see you too, right on

5:59

before we're all off and everything. I gotta get my wife

6:01

up here because she's gonna want to say hi too. She

6:04

found out you were on the show, she was like, don't let

6:06

me, don't forget to come he tell

6:08

my mom. We're gonna get to her book. But tell my mom

6:10

what you said the second you got on Your

6:12

book made me cry, like weep, like

6:15

cry. I had a really strong

6:18

emotional response to it. No,

6:20

that's an interesting, Donald, because that's why

6:23

I couldn't get it published by traditional

6:25

publishers. They said that parents

6:27

wouldn't buy it because it was too sad. Oh.

6:30

I didn't think it was too sad. I just

6:32

I never really looked at it from the kid's point

6:34

of view. I always, you know, being a divorced parent,

6:38

you always look at it from your point of view

6:40

and how you know, how you

6:42

feel, And it just broke my heart

6:44

that the kid was hurting for a

6:46

little bit, but she had such amazing

6:49

parents that they were

6:51

willing to work it out. And it

6:53

wasn't like that when my parents got divorced, you

6:55

know what I mean. And it wasn't like that when I got divorced,

6:57

and it was so it was so refreshing

7:00

to see a family that was able to do

7:02

it. And so it wasn't like some of it

7:04

was sad, but some of it was like joy, like

7:06

wow, like you know, if

7:08

they could get this together, you know, maybe

7:10

I could have gotten it together. Well,

7:13

I wanted next, I

7:15

wanted the parents to be kind

7:18

of a model for parents reading the book.

7:20

Yeah, so they could say, well, what

7:23

could we try any of this? Could we try

7:25

something? You know? Yeah, as

7:27

it really is, you know, there's a lot of research

7:29

on this, and it really is better for the kids

7:32

if the parents can remain respectful

7:35

to each other and generous to each other. Well,

7:37

let's let's just dive right into this because

7:40

it's just happening naturally. Um, we want

7:42

to talk to my mom because she's my mom

7:44

and when I and we love

7:46

her obviously Donald and Donald's like a part

7:49

of the family. And um, but

7:51

and and talk about my mom's experience

7:54

of what Scrubs was like from her point of

7:56

view, and maybe some funny childhood stories.

7:58

But the first thing we want the things we wanted to

8:00

have her on was my mom is a wonderful psychologist

8:03

who's occasionally I give

8:05

out words of her wisdom to

8:08

all of you listeners. And when

8:10

I was a child, she wrote a popular children's

8:12

book about adoption for children called

8:14

The Mulberry Bird. Um

8:17

and UM. If you have an adopted

8:19

child, I can obviously highly

8:22

recommend that book. It has been it's very

8:24

very popular for adopted families. But

8:27

recently, my mom,

8:29

as she will discuss and tell us, UM, noticed

8:32

that there she was having trouble finding

8:35

the right book to discuss divorce

8:38

with your child roughly ages

8:40

six to ten, m and

8:43

and decided that she would set about to write one

8:45

herself. So what is it, Mom that you m

8:47

that you thought wasn't out

8:49

there for for parents? You know, I don't remember

8:52

when when you and Dad got divorced, really any

8:54

children's books that were I mean, obviously you

8:56

were skilled as a psychologist to handle

8:59

it as best as you could. But tell

9:01

me, tell everyone in us what came

9:04

to your mind when you said, I want to create

9:06

something that will help parents talk to their children.

9:09

Well, it's a similar story as

9:13

as existed for the mulberry bird,

9:15

and that is a story that tells

9:18

the child what happened with the birth

9:20

mother. And there were no books

9:22

for children about adoption at that time,

9:25

and there's still very few where the birth mother's

9:27

story is told, and that's the story the child

9:30

really wants to hear. So when

9:32

I thought about the Falling Downtime,

9:34

I thought, well, the

9:37

children's books that exist for divorced

9:39

divorcing parents to read now

9:42

are based on the parents wish for

9:44

the child to be okay.

9:47

The parents profound wish that they aren't

9:49

hurting their child, and so they're all

9:51

pretty cheerful, like it's

9:54

going to be okay, You're going to have more toys,

9:56

you're going to have another bedroom, you're

9:58

going to go to do this and that, and

10:01

it's all very um. You might

10:03

be sad, but it's all

10:05

going to be fine. Yeah, so I thought

10:07

I wanted to write a book from the child's

10:10

perspective, which would first

10:12

of all, show what the child remembers

10:15

everything being all right, and

10:17

for for a child, that's

10:19

what they remember, and

10:22

suddenly, for some reason, things

10:24

are not all right and they don't know why.

10:27

Yeah, it was it. That

10:29

was also what I

10:32

think triggered my emotional response. Everything

10:34

was so vivid and the memories

10:37

were so vivid in the beginning,

10:40

you know, remember, yes,

10:42

so specific and like it was like fresh

10:44

and in the child's head. And

10:47

then all of a sudden there

10:50

was the shift, and the

10:52

kid didn't know what it was, but

10:54

just everything wasn't the same. And

10:58

yeah, and I imagine they very often and internalize

11:00

that and make it that they did something wrong.

11:03

That's a very common response

11:06

for children to have, is that this strange

11:08

thing is happening and their parents.

11:11

I think one of the reasons they they

11:13

think they've done something wrong is their parents become

11:16

quieter and sadder

11:18

and more distant. And these

11:21

observations sort of resemble when

11:23

their mom or dad has been mad at them in the past,

11:26

So they think, oh, I've done something. Surely

11:29

this couldn't have happened, just

11:31

out of the blue, I must

11:34

have done something. Children are very egocentric.

11:36

They think that the world revolves around

11:38

them. I never thought of it in the context

11:40

before of like, oh, when they're

11:43

behaving the same way to behave when they're mad

11:45

at me, because they've gotten quiet and there and

11:47

they're not as I don't know, silly

11:50

and effusive or whatever the exactly

11:52

exactly. So

11:55

that is why I wrote the book.

11:57

And the book is called The Falling Down Time,

12:01

One Child Story about divorce, and

12:04

it is available on Amazon, and

12:06

it was written by my mom, and

12:08

it is the talk a little bit

12:10

to mom about people who say, well, you know, I'm hearing

12:12

Donald say he cried. I'm hearing you guys say you were

12:14

emotional. What do you say to the parent who

12:16

say, well, I don't I don't

12:18

want to face my child's

12:20

sadness about this. I want the you

12:23

know. I imagine

12:25

parents are nervous about doing the honest,

12:28

sort of emotional children's

12:30

book as opposed to the chipper one you know about

12:32

You'll have two sets of toys. Yeah,

12:35

well, that's a really good question, because that

12:38

is a challenge for parents. It's a really big

12:40

challenge for people

12:43

who are divorcing to be able to say

12:45

what can I possibly do that would be

12:47

good for my child? And what you

12:50

can do. One of the things you can do

12:52

is let them feel what they're feeling. Don't

12:57

hold it, don't don't don't don't don't push those

12:59

feelings away, right, And it is going to do

13:01

as a parent. You are going to feel terrible

13:03

about this at times, but something

13:06

terrible is happening in your life

13:08

and in their life, and to

13:10

pretend that that's different is

13:13

really a kind of abandonment. Really,

13:16

it's kind of walking away from the child

13:19

into into what you need. And

13:21

it really isn't about what you

13:24

need right now, it's what your child

13:26

needs. Yeah,

13:28

it's like the parent doesn't want to deal with the emotion

13:31

because that's really hard. So

13:34

but you're saying that that's you can't. You can't

13:36

abandon the child's emotions. You have to face it straight

13:38

on. Yeah you can. You can abandon

13:40

them, but it isn't good for them right right.

13:43

Yeah, it's very it's

13:45

you know, it's very interesting. My kids

13:47

and I we had a really rough time after

13:51

my ex wife and I got divorced,

13:53

and we're all good

13:56

now. But I can I

13:58

remember thinking, oh, there's probably

14:00

never going to see each other again, or we're probably

14:02

never going to talk again. I remember

14:04

we talked about that at some time

14:06

at some point. And

14:09

now, I mean, now my kids live with me,

14:11

and you know, it's it's it's

14:14

amazing how things shifted. But

14:17

I do at the end of the book,

14:19

when you know, when

14:22

when the child gives encouragement

14:24

to other kids. You know, from what I understand,

14:26

a lot of kids go through this and they all turned

14:28

out pretty well. That was also

14:31

one of those moments like, yes, you're absolutely right,

14:33

and I got emotional about that because

14:35

my kids are with me now, and I remember there was a moment

14:37

when that wasn't a possibility and I didn't

14:40

see and I couldn't see that light

14:42

at the end of the tunnel. And now, you know. I

14:44

think one of the things that's so special about your book, too, Mom,

14:47

is, like like Donald said, it like

14:49

an episode of The Simpsons in a comedic

14:51

way, is funny to kids on a kid level, and adults

14:53

are getting stuff that's going over their head. I feel

14:55

like the Falling Downtime

14:58

is is good for for

15:00

both parents and kids. The kids are going to get

15:02

their version of the story and the parents, like Donald's

15:04

is saying, as a parent of divorce children is

15:07

going to get their emotional

15:09

but sort of a

15:11

guide book in a small sense of how

15:13

how you could behave in a healthy way for the for

15:15

the child, but told from a children child's

15:17

point of view, which I thought was really really well done. Thank

15:20

you, thank you. That's my whole. Yeah,

15:23

you're such a good writer too. And I know you're saying,

15:25

listener that I'm biased, but she is such

15:27

a good writer. My mom, how about this, get the book?

15:29

How about this, go out, get the book and

15:32

then being a judge for yourself. All right, how

15:34

about that? Get the book. It's on Amazon.

15:36

But my mom's the kind of person that will write you like a

15:39

thank you note and you've got like tears in your eyes

15:41

because it's so beautiful. You're such a good writer.

15:44

Um, let's segue a bit, mom and talk about

15:46

Um what what zat's talk

15:48

about? Zachly, Yeah, let's switch to me enough

15:50

about the book to me,

15:53

No, but I thought I thought that, you know, for

15:55

listeners who who are here because they love

15:57

the show Scrubs, it might be interesting from from

16:00

your perspective. You know, what was it. What

16:02

was it like? Do you remember the day I called you and

16:04

said, you know, I've been trying to be an actor since I

16:06

was a child. And we can talk about

16:08

that too, but do you remember the day and what

16:10

your feelings were? I had six callbacks for scrubs?

16:13

Do you remember that whole process? I

16:16

do. I do remember, and it was very,

16:18

very exciting. Um And

16:22

the interesting thing is, I look back on it,

16:24

it was hard for me to put it into a context

16:27

because to me, you had been successful

16:30

at that point for a long time. And

16:33

I didn't really until you

16:35

helped me understand it, realize what

16:37

a big deal it was. Hey, why did you think

16:39

I'd been successful for a long time when i'd

16:42

been when I was a waiter when I got the part. I mean not

16:44

to dis waiters, but I was. I

16:46

was. I was barely surviving on money.

16:48

But this success for me was

16:50

not about money. It was about

16:52

your abilities and your talent

16:55

and and and you had been

16:57

getting callbacks since you were fourteen

16:59

years old, a lot of callbacks. You've been

17:01

auditioning from that age, and

17:04

people were calling us in to

17:06

talk to us and tell us maybe you

17:08

weren't going to get the part. But you were fantastic,

17:10

and so we were hearing as parents that

17:13

you were very, very talented, and I

17:16

really only I honestly thought it

17:18

was only a matter of time. Oh really,

17:21

you never told me that i'd like to hear that. Yeah,

17:23

I didn't know. I didn't know. I mean, it's so stressful

17:25

for parents. And I'm sure if you're a parent listening and your

17:27

child is pursuing the arts, you know

17:29

you want to support them and you want to love them, and of course

17:31

you want them to follow their dreams, but there has to be

17:34

nerves like, oh, I hope that they can make

17:36

a living at this. Of course, Okay,

17:39

but how do you handle it if your kid

17:41

doesn't have it and you're getting the feedback

17:44

of well this might not

17:46

be yeah, but you But that's

17:48

up to the child, I mean the child, the young adult,

17:51

or the adult to decide when to give up.

17:53

You get the parent, I mean, I we're talking. I'm

17:55

telling the psychologist what to think, but it seems to

17:57

me the parent can't decide that. You have to let

17:59

the kid or the young adult figure that out.

18:02

But there has to be some honesty in there too,

18:05

Exactly, don't you have to be like, okay, well,

18:08

I'm not trying to crush your dreams. They

18:10

said, I'm a butt, but

18:13

they said you don't got what it takes, baby,

18:16

and that you should probably think about going

18:18

into sanitation, Like what doesn't

18:21

have to be sanitation? Well,

18:23

I always I always thought that, I've said this on the show. I always

18:25

My plan was always I'm gonna give it my all, but if

18:27

not, I will do something in production. And

18:30

I say this to people again, I'll say it now.

18:32

If you're pursuing the arts and you know

18:34

your backup doesn't have to be being an orthodonist,

18:36

which is always what I pick as the my random career.

18:39

It could be something and you can still work

18:41

in filmmaking and TV making. You might not

18:43

be the star in front of the camera, but you'll you can be

18:45

in the process. I'm sorry, mom, you go,

18:47

you go. How do you How does a parent deal with this? Well,

18:50

there's a couple of things on table

18:52

here. One is Donald's question about

18:54

how do you help a child when you really

18:58

you know, you'll look at each other and say, this isn't

19:00

happening. You

19:02

know, I think conversations about that

19:05

that aren't really like, well, why don't you go

19:07

into something else. But let's talk

19:09

about a whole lot of things you could do with

19:11

what you know how to do. Let's

19:13

make a list, And that segues

19:16

into what Zach is saying is that if your

19:18

child is wanting to be a dancer

19:20

but isn't a good enough dancer

19:23

to be making a

19:25

living at it, well there's a lot of things that's

19:27

around dancing and performing

19:30

and those kinds of things could be doing

19:32

an usher. No,

19:37

Mom, I think I have this in my mind because you always

19:39

probably help me, help me figure this out,

19:42

which is like, you know, there's

19:44

a there's a myriad of things you can do that

19:46

aren't the exact thing aimed for that

19:48

goal. But then but then have things

19:50

lower on the on the pyramid that are

19:53

things you you will be skilled at at that

19:55

point that you can also do. I don't think

19:57

that you. I don't think that

19:59

I help you figured that out. I'm

20:01

going to tell a story now from a

20:03

long time ago that you've heard before

20:05

and Donald probably has, and

20:09

this illustrates that you knew

20:11

from a very early age that there were other

20:13

things. When you were seven

20:15

years old, for your birthday, you

20:18

asked us if we

20:20

would buy you were curtains to

20:22

hang in the TV room center

20:26

of the TV room. Oh my god.

20:29

And well the curtain guy, the curtain guy

20:31

must have been like, wait, what in the

20:33

mid really want the curtain? Do

20:35

you remember? It was? He like, you want to put a curtain

20:38

in the middle of I don't remember that. But you

20:41

also said that was not the

20:43

only gift you wanted clip on lights

20:45

from the hardware story.

20:51

You wanted a light board,

20:54

lighting board. Did they have a home lighting board

20:56

for kids?

21:00

You made?

21:02

I did, by the way, Donald listen, I

21:04

made one. What I did was she got me the clip

21:06

on lights, and I took I took

21:09

multiple um time.

21:11

You know those things that are meant to go

21:13

in. Yeah, I don't know the thing

21:15

you put. If you're in the old days when you were going away

21:17

and you wanted your lights to go on and off the timer,

21:20

so I would rig the clip on lights

21:22

with gaels on them to those timer

21:24

lights and I could flick the switch on the timers.

21:27

That's true, Sorry, mom, go ahead. No,

21:30

it really was true that you knew at

21:32

that age, you were seven years old, that

21:36

there was something exciting about

21:39

the theater and about

21:42

performing, and then you engaged

21:44

your siblings in making

21:47

dramas, and you called it the Braffrodzinski

21:50

Theater. And you actually sold tickets

21:52

when we had the dinner party.

21:56

You did say, could I You were

21:58

out on the front court tickets

22:03

trying to make that money. I got that hustle

22:05

early, Donald. My

22:07

mom's just trying to have a dinner party. I'm out front charging

22:10

tickets to a play that the guests don't

22:12

want to go to. Can

22:16

you imagine? Can you imagine you go to your friend's

22:18

house for dinner and they ken You're like, oh, it's cute.

22:20

He's selling tickets to the show. And then dinners over You're like,

22:22

wait, what we really have to go to go to the

22:24

show? Well, you were

22:26

selling tickets to the guests for dinner.

22:28

Were you just selling tickets to rent people walking down

22:30

the street? Oh? No, guests for dinner. But little did

22:33

they know that they had come to dinner. After

22:35

dinner, there would be a play. And

22:37

they weren't always short plays, right

22:43

mom. Sometimes they had gravitas and

22:46

death. They were a little bit convoluted

22:48

at chimes. Yes, and you're two

22:50

younger sisters. Your older sister and your

22:53

younger sister were a cast of

22:55

characters, so you didn't

22:58

have too much to work. Oh

23:00

my god, I remember this, mom, and I gotta

23:02

tell you just another kudos to

23:04

you for being a great mom that when I said, can

23:06

I have a curtain in the middle of the TV room,

23:09

you said yes? And we did so

23:12

many plays we had. By the way, if you

23:14

have a child and you don't have to put it in the middle of the room,

23:16

or if they have a playroom, you could put it like one

23:19

third of the way through the room. But

23:21

I gotta tell you, this curtain that was, you know, probably

23:23

not super expensive. We got so

23:26

much joy from just the

23:28

idea of we're putting

23:30

on a show and we can pull the curtain and do

23:32

a show. And then the big feature of it was it

23:34

had to be a curtain. You Yeah,

23:38

that's what it was. We got so many

23:41

hours of joy out of that damn curtain.

23:43

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think you know. I was

23:45

also into the tech, you know, as you know, I was into the

23:47

technical theater. So these these these

23:49

shows would sometimes have elaborate set changes

23:52

that the audience would have to wait while

23:54

me and my little sister were changing

23:56

the set behind the curtain. Okay,

24:06

so let me ask you a question. You knew you wanted

24:08

to be in theater, you knew you wanted to

24:10

be a performer of some sort. When

24:12

did you realize you wanted to tell stories too?

24:14

Though? When was that? When did that become

24:16

part of the it's

24:19

a good question. I have an early memory of standing

24:21

in front of I think it was fifth

24:23

grade. We had been given an assignment that we were going to

24:25

read a story. I may have told this before in the podcast,

24:27

right. We were told to read a story, and then we were

24:30

going to read. Those who swanted to could

24:32

read it in front of the classroom. And

24:34

I wrote my story, and I included

24:37

the characters in my story were kids in the class,

24:40

So I made them the prota, certain kids in the

24:42

class that were you know, popular or everybody

24:45

liked. I kind of made them the protagonists.

24:48

And then when I it was funny, And when I read the

24:50

story, the whole class,

24:52

including the teacher, were belly laughing, And

24:55

I remember like looking up being like this

24:57

feeling. I wrote this at my

24:59

desk and all of these kids,

25:01

including that teacher, are cracking

25:04

up. Is like was

25:06

like a Eureka moment for me, like, oh, I want

25:08

to keep doing this like this, not

25:11

only performing it, but the fact that these are

25:13

my thoughts that I said, Naima

25:16

Johnson did something, you

25:18

know, funny on this adventure that I'd made up. Whatever

25:20

it was, it was a great It was a great feeling.

25:23

And I think that

25:25

that that it's sort of just kind of dovetailed into

25:27

all the things I was doing, the community, theater, the

25:29

camp and stuff like that. Did you get a lot

25:31

of calls from school about how creative your son

25:34

was? And um, when

25:37

he was in school, Um, he

25:39

didn't do a lot of theater. He did theater

25:41

camp in the summer. But

25:43

one story I do remember is when he

25:46

was in high school, he was very

25:48

active in the television and radio

25:50

station they had at the high school. A what

25:53

was it? What did you call it? Um, Well,

25:56

in college it was called RTVF. I forgot

25:58

what the what the high version of them, which is where

26:00

you rolling the TV the

26:02

av squad.

26:05

I told everyone to Mom about how I was when

26:07

I was younger. I was I thought I was so

26:09

cool because I was on the I was on the team

26:11

that would roll the projectors into the classroom,

26:13

and I I just I thought I was Fonzie.

26:15

I just thought there was nobody cooler than me because

26:18

I was wheeling that projector into

26:20

the classroom. There you are, I mean, yeah,

26:23

but I go ahead, tell them tell the story about itself.

26:25

The story is that there was a

26:27

news program that um

26:30

was on

26:33

a local station, you know, that they had in

26:35

the community, and so they did a real news

26:37

program. I think every week, Sack, I don't

26:39

know, something like that. Yeah, anyway, I remember it

26:41

was Channel thirty five. Yes, and

26:44

you were I

26:47

guess for a series of them or a couple of

26:49

them. You were the director. Yeah, and

26:52

uh you won Director of the

26:54

Year at in high school

26:56

that year, my first award for directing.

26:59

Yes, and this

27:01

is one of the moments I remember being

27:04

very proud of you. And it's happened since

27:06

then, but this was one of the first. The

27:08

man who ran the program came over to

27:10

me afterwards and said, you

27:13

have no idea how wonderful

27:16

he is with all the people who are doing

27:18

this program. He's talking to

27:20

them through the microphone and telling them they're

27:22

doing a great job. He's telling

27:24

them that was wonderful. I love that

27:27

when they make a mistake, he's telling them, don't

27:30

worry. He's whispering to them

27:33

and he said, I never saw anything like that.

27:35

So it made me very proud of you

27:37

as a person. You brought tears to my eyes,

27:39

Mom, because I love that you told

27:42

that story. But also I was a very happy time. You know,

27:44

I did feel quite alienated in high

27:46

school. As you know. I had friends and everything, but I just couldn't

27:48

I wasn't into sports, and I couldn't find my thing. And

27:51

in that TV group I found

27:53

my people, and in directing, I found a

27:56

thing that really lit me up. And I

27:59

really happy member reads from being there. So

28:01

I just have to say one more thing that every

28:03

time I visit one of your sets, you've

28:06

been going for a while, you all know each

28:08

other, the thing is humming, and somebody,

28:11

at least one person often more

28:13

come over to me and say, your

28:16

son is running a beautiful set here.

28:19

We all love each other and we love

28:21

him and that's a beautiful thing.

28:23

And that started with that director

28:26

in high school. Yeah, mister

28:29

Mullen, Yeah, yeah, shout

28:32

out, mister Mullen. I bet you never thought,

28:35

never thought you'd get a shout out, mister mullin. But mister

28:37

Mullen, I don't know if you'll listen to the Truthfully,

28:40

I'm not even I'm not even sure if he's still

28:42

with us. But he was a wonderful teacher. And uh,

28:44

and it was a great experience. Um

28:48

wow, I wonder if any of my teachers

28:50

listen to our podcast. If you do. And

28:53

you failed me, and you thought I wasn't

28:55

going to amount to anything in

28:58

your face so much? Yeah,

29:00

and your face. I

29:03

remember I had a teacher that my

29:05

charms didn't work on her, and she

29:07

she this was at the height of family ties, I think,

29:09

and and I thought I

29:12

thought I was I thought I was a little like Alex

29:14

P. Keaton and and but this is

29:16

so she she came. We

29:18

were all waiting outside the class, and she showed up

29:20

late. And I think I was like trying

29:22

to be like a funny wise ass and

29:25

I was like pointing to my watch, like and

29:28

she turned to me and she said, Zach, I'm really

29:30

not into the whole Alex P. Keaton

29:32

thing. Oh

29:35

I never forgot that

29:38

that had to feel good. It

29:40

hurt my feelings that I that she didn't think my

29:42

Alex P. Keaton esque charm was charming.

29:45

But I but, um, but the

29:47

fact that you the fact that she knew that you

29:49

were doing Alex P. Keaton without you being

29:51

like I'm doing Alex P. Keaton. No,

29:53

I mean I'm saying I try

29:55

to be. That was

29:58

silver lining right there. The silver line is

30:00

freaking. I'm a genius actor because

30:03

I impressionist, because I was playing

30:05

a character and you picked up one it. Yes, you

30:07

got what I was going with. Um,

30:10

Um, wait what I was thinking about something? What are we talking

30:12

about? Right before that? Um?

30:14

We were talking about you? But yeah,

30:17

I blank tongue. Um,

30:19

so mom, what was it like? No, but go go back

30:21

to obviously, Well, I wanted to talk about Scrubs.

30:24

Um, you do you remember when I called you?

30:26

You were I think you were the first call I made

30:28

when I because when I after my

30:30

sixth audition for Scrubs, I

30:33

had a Motorola star Tech if you

30:35

recall those, and I put it on the

30:37

I had been told that I will know sooner, i'd

30:39

know probably today or tomorrow, and I put

30:42

the Motorola star Tech I remember,

30:44

on the passenger seat of my Nissan two forty

30:46

SX, and I just started

30:49

driving on the one on one Freeway and

30:52

my phone rang and it

30:54

was I believe it was Bill

30:56

Lawrence, who said, I'm

30:58

I'm not supposed to tell you because every

31:01

other people want to tell you, but you got

31:03

it, and I'm so excited, and I was freaking

31:05

out, and I said, you know, I knew

31:08

that you would be my first call. So do you do you remember

31:10

that moment at all? You I do remember the call exactly,

31:12

and I remember I didn't know about all

31:14

the callbacks. I didn't know the process

31:17

at all, because I think you were kind of holding

31:19

back because

31:22

it was very big, and I don't think

31:24

you wanted to get us all excited, you

31:26

know, yeah, and then be disappointed.

31:28

Um, And there's nothing like that phone

31:31

call when you got to tell your mom. I

31:34

didn't get to part, so I'm

31:36

sure. I know. I think I had

31:38

turned, but with both of my parents, I think I'd

31:40

got into a place. You know, I was waiting tables. I was

31:42

in a lull. You know, being an actor, there's

31:45

highs and lows at all stages. And at this stage,

31:47

I had gotten some indies and I had gotten some stuff,

31:49

but I was kind of at a lull. I was working as a waiter,

31:51

and I didn't wanted them to get excited

31:53

before there was any you know, so I would. I would even

31:56

if I even when I was six auditions in, I was probably minimizing

31:58

it because I didn't want to disapp point them, you know,

32:00

yes, yes, but it

32:03

was very, very exciting. And then what

32:05

I think happened was that it

32:07

grew on me. You know, I began to

32:10

realize over a period of

32:12

days and even weeks, what

32:15

this was going to be

32:17

the first season. You know, we didn't know, of

32:20

course, that it would be many seasons.

32:22

And then the you know, it started

32:25

to do very well. You know, the ratings

32:27

were extremely good, and it

32:30

was exciting, very very exciting. And

32:32

I remember bringing Sarah home. We were

32:35

going to the upfronts, which we've talked about here a bunch

32:37

of times, and Sarah came over to the

32:39

house, and you everyone instantly

32:41

fell in love with Sarah, as you do in real life.

32:43

And I remember at one point, you

32:46

know, I had had girlfriends that weren't exactly helping

32:49

around the house that much as as a

32:51

mom would would like. And I

32:53

remember Sarah was over

32:55

just as a friend, but there she was at the

32:58

kitchen sink doing dishes from dinner her

33:00

and she called out, she was like, did anyone let

33:02

the dog out, and my mom was like, I love

33:04

her.

33:10

Remember that. I remember Sarry doing the

33:12

dishes and calling over the water, did anyone

33:14

let the dog out? And my mom training and be like, I

33:17

love her. Oh

33:22

my god, you can marry

33:24

her right now? I know. Well she

33:27

is, uh, she is quite

33:29

a catch, and and we

33:31

we miss her. She's coming on the show

33:33

a bunch, but we don't see it that much because

33:35

she's in Canada. Well, tell

33:38

me about do you remember visiting set for the first

33:40

time? What that was like? Yes, because

33:43

it was like nothing I had ever done before

33:45

in my life. You know, I'd never

33:48

seen a set of that size and complexity.

33:51

And wait pause, look who

33:53

it is? She is, my

33:55

sweetheart. Ah you,

33:58

I'm good. How are you? I'm

34:00

good, I'm good. It's wonderful to see

34:02

your face. Well, thank you.

34:04

I just took my anti aging face

34:07

led mat Oh that's

34:09

why you look fourteen. Yes,

34:11

thank you, thank you, thank you. It

34:14

works in the closet

34:17

and phones on. Yeah, Mom,

34:19

I don't know if you know that. I know you listen to the show sometimes,

34:22

but this is this is Donald's a home studio

34:24

in their walking closet. I definitely know about

34:26

the closet this beautiful. Yeah, we always

34:29

get to see when when when you've picked up the dry

34:31

cleaning. Yeah, I

34:33

was actually thinking about it this morning. I was like, I

34:35

need to redo the closet for this live show.

34:39

Now that we have now that we have HD cameras,

34:42

everything is more, everything's gonna be clearer.

34:44

Oh my god, that's so scary. We gotta figure

34:47

something out this week. And congratulations's

34:50

so cute. I love looking at the online

34:53

They're just adorable. Oh, they're

34:55

ready to come visit you whenever you want.

34:57

Oh, that would be so good. Now out of

34:59

this terrible time that we are

35:01

all in and we can know. I

35:04

know we miss you so much. We haven't seen

35:07

you in so long. Last time we saw you was

35:09

like Zach's birth, like a little bit after was

35:11

it. I know it's will

35:14

it will have been over a year. Probably.

35:16

My birthday is April sixth, coming up, those

35:19

of you who want to shower me with presents, No,

35:21

we know, we know everybody in

35:23

your calendar, a case on

35:26

my calendar every year. All

35:30

right, we gotta go because we will call you. Okay, I love you.

35:33

Tell my mom that she's wonderful. I

35:35

tell her all the time. I tell her on Instagram all

35:38

the time. We liked each other from the first

35:40

moment. Yes, all because

35:43

Casey's the kind of woman who'll say did anyone

35:45

let the dog out? Now,

35:48

Casey won't say did anyone let the dog out? She's

35:51

not. I don't even know what that means. It

35:54

wasn't there. Um, So we

35:56

have a call her. Guys, we should go

35:58

to break first. Let's go to go to break and then

36:00

we're gonna take a caller that Joelle found

36:02

to ask my mom a question about

36:05

talking to your children when you're going through a

36:08

very shitty thing called the divorce. We'll

36:10

be right back after these messages and

36:18

any by back

36:21

by, all right,

36:23

we're back. We're back. We're back back, and Joelle

36:26

bringing the caller to answer

36:29

the caller's question, Say hello

36:31

to Chrissie Martel. Give

36:33

it up for Chrissy Martei. Where

36:37

is your thunderous applause? Chrissie, we're giving you thunderous

36:40

applause? So

36:43

excited. I this is like a dream

36:45

come true. Oh you're very

36:47

sweet. We're so happy that you're here and

36:49

uh and that you're willing to come on and uh, so

36:52

you've got you see Joelle and Daniel. Um, I

36:54

don't know where the boxes are for you. That's

36:56

Donald who you recognize. And that beautiful woman

36:58

with the scarf is my mom in Hello.

37:01

It's so I'm just honored to meet

37:04

you. It's so exciting. That's amazing.

37:07

Well, we're glad have you. Where are you calling from, Chrissy,

37:10

Aurora, Illinois, a western suburb of Chicago,

37:13

Chicago in the house. Okay, I know

37:15

why Joel got you on the line.

37:18

Chicago natives stick together. You Illinois

37:21

girls stick together. Yes, Illinois. If

37:23

you if you're from Illinois and you write in, you're way

37:26

more likely to get picked if you brag about

37:28

loving Illinois in the subject. Just

37:30

brag about that, or brag about Northwestern one

37:32

or the other. Well, I don't read them, Joel do so

37:34

you have to. Maybe you could say that you love rebels,

37:36

you love Ganja, you

37:39

love all things that Joel might enjoy. Ps.

37:42

Five. Ganja's legal

37:44

here now, so you know. Oh, welcome

37:46

to the club New Jersey too. By the way, all

37:49

right, listen, Chrissy. We had you on because

37:53

we have the gift of having a brilliant

37:56

child psychologist here who's written a new

37:58

book called The Falling Downtime, which

38:01

is aimed to help children roughly six

38:04

to ten mom deal

38:06

with helping helping parents talk

38:09

to their children. And we had you on because

38:12

I understand that you're going through a divorce and have

38:14

children of this age, and we thought maybe you could

38:16

ask my mom a question that would help facilitate

38:19

more conversation for people that are in a similar place.

38:22

So, so go ahead with your question. I

38:25

would love to um, is it doctor

38:27

Bradzynski? Yes, say and but please

38:30

call it well and it's

38:32

it's a pleasure. So yes, I am

38:34

going through divorce. I am also

38:36

a divorce attorney, so I was telling Joel, I'm

38:39

going the DIY route representing

38:41

myself. But you know,

38:43

it's it is what it is. And this

38:46

has been a tough year for a lot of parents, and a

38:48

lot of parents of kids with special needs,

38:50

which I happen to be. I

38:53

have two children, ages four and a half

38:56

and three. He's actually Oscar.

38:58

He's going to be turning three on Tuesday.

39:00

So they are a handful. They're

39:03

awesome boys, they are autistic,

39:06

and you know, it's

39:08

just tough sometimes and so parenting

39:11

can be difficult, but

39:13

really, what I care most about is

39:16

them, and I think that's what I always tell my clients.

39:18

The most important thing is the best

39:21

interests of the children, making

39:23

sure they're okay. And so my question

39:25

is, you know, when I am with

39:28

my boys and they're a little bit younger than

39:30

your target audience, but as they grow, you know,

39:32

these things will probably be important too. They're

39:35

too young for this book, yeah, okay, Well

39:37

when they get old enough for it, and just as

39:40

they get old enough to maybe understand

39:42

a little bit better about mom and dad not living

39:45

in the same house anymore, you

39:48

know, there will be a lot of questions.

39:50

But the one thing that I really care about the most

39:52

is just how they're feeling. And sometimes

39:55

they'll be sad and I can't exactly

39:58

understand why. So

40:00

I'm wondering should I ask

40:03

them specifically, are you sad because

40:05

Dad's not here? Or should I ask them

40:08

why are you sad? You know, because I don't want

40:10

to bring it up if it's not on their mind,

40:13

But I also don't want to glaze over

40:15

it if it is something that I should

40:18

you address at any given time?

40:21

Right, So, of

40:24

course I don't know your children, and so

40:26

I'm I'm answering in a kind of a global

40:29

way, but you'll take from it

40:31

whatever works for you and your kids.

40:34

In general, it's safe to say knowing why

40:37

a child is sad is

40:39

less important than being

40:42

a person who notices that they're sad.

40:46

So, really, for your three year

40:48

old, most three year rolls don't really know

40:50

why they're sad unless something just happened,

40:52

like someone took their toy or they dropped

40:55

some food or whatever it is. They

40:58

know about that sad, but the larger

41:00

issues, which

41:03

are in your case sadness

41:06

certainly about the divorce and some grief

41:08

probably as well. Three year

41:10

olds feel, but they don't know how

41:12

to tell you. They don't have the language

41:15

to tell you. So the

41:17

best thing to do if you sense that three

41:19

year old is sad is to kind

41:22

of maybe curl

41:24

up in a nice cozy place and get

41:27

the stuffed animal that's the favorite, and read

41:29

a favorite book, maybe some

41:32

food, some good food, and do

41:34

a little snuggling and just

41:37

kind of be together and make

41:40

a plan for later rather

41:44

than try to find out. What

41:46

you're doing is really acting

41:49

as though you know, and

41:51

that is the most important thing in

41:57

for your four year old, it's

42:00

a little different. Four and a half year old, it's a little

42:02

different. And

42:04

again you'll judge this

42:06

from your kids and whatever

42:09

parts of autism are affecting them. But

42:11

for four and a half year old, you

42:14

can be a little more explicit. But

42:16

rather than say what are

42:18

you sad about? One of

42:20

the things I like to do a lot of drawings with kids

42:22

this age. They love to draw. So you

42:25

can do what I call a temperature

42:27

tower. It's just a simple line, a vertical

42:29

line with one at the bottom and a hundred

42:32

at the top, and you draw one for

42:34

you, and you draw one for your child with

42:36

their name at the top, and the

42:38

temperature chart is how am I feeling

42:41

right now? And you do

42:43

yours first, and you say,

42:45

well, I'm about a seven. I'm

42:48

okay, but you know I might

42:50

be a five. I don't know, sorry,

42:53

mom. If you do, you mean one to one to ten or

42:55

one to one hundred. Sorry I should

42:57

have said one to ten doesn't

42:59

matter. Yeah, But you so you're saying, if

43:02

let's just let's stick with one to ten because that's where you started.

43:04

So you're saying one to ten, So

43:06

you say I'm a five or I'm a seven whatever, Rather

43:09

than even if you're a one, I wouldn't

43:11

go there. I would just sort of stay in the middle.

43:13

But it gives the child that's listening to you

43:16

an option to not be a

43:18

ten. Now the child may

43:20

say I'm a ten, and that's interesting. But

43:22

if you've come through a little period of

43:25

sadness and you sense something, you

43:27

could say, okay, you're at ten. Wow, that's

43:29

amazing. Sometimes I'm

43:31

at ten, but I'm not always at ten. So

43:34

it's a kind of a way that you're communicating

43:37

together that you

43:39

know that it isn't

43:42

always okay, and you

43:45

may get a conversation out of that from

43:48

your four and a half year old, a little bit of conversation.

43:51

You can also say, well, when I do

43:54

such and such, I feel like a

43:56

ten. And when I do this, I tend

43:59

to feel down a little bit lower. Do you have any

44:01

things that make you higher or lower? Another

44:05

thing is what I call it frown box.

44:08

So you don't say it's a sad box, but

44:11

a frown box is any little box that you

44:13

find and some objects

44:16

they could be stones that aren't swallowable

44:19

or whatever, and you take turns

44:21

putting things

44:24

in the box, and you call them frowns

44:26

and you say what you're frowning about,

44:30

so you participate in this as well.

44:33

So that part of it is that the child

44:35

feels that I'm a human being. I'm

44:38

like my mom and I'm you

44:40

know, if your husband, your exitent husband could do this

44:42

too, it would be wonderful for them to

44:45

share this with him, both the temperature

44:47

towers and the frown box. So

44:50

you get to see you're a child, but you get to see

44:52

I'm not. There's nothing wrong with me that I have these

44:55

feelings. I have these feelings with so

44:57

to my mom and dad. Yeah, one

45:00

of the most powerful things that I've shared with the listeners here, Mom,

45:02

that you always said to me is um, you

45:05

know and I and I you

45:07

said it to me as a child, and I think of it now when

45:09

I'm forty about to turn forty six, which

45:12

is you said I would share

45:14

with you something that was upsetting me and you go, of course,

45:16

that makes total sense. If you didn't feel

45:19

that way, there'd be something wrong with you that when

45:21

you're going through this X y Z

45:23

experience, If you didn't feel abc,

45:26

there'd be something the matter with you that

45:30

well you have I found that you said since

45:32

you said that, Zach, we've started doing that. Yeah,

45:34

well that's all my mom. That's her, that's that's her specialty.

45:37

Another thing I wanted to say, Mom, that you gave me that

45:39

really helped me as a child. Um, there

45:42

were these worried dolls. I don't know if they

45:44

were. They a Mexican and

45:46

they still sell them. Yeah, I'm sure

45:48

you might find them on Amazon, just on the internet somewhere.

45:50

I believe they're called Mexican worried dolls.

45:52

And their their their their minuscule, they're

45:55

they're about a centimeter high and then go in a little

45:57

container. And what you do, is my mom, as

45:59

my mom taught me, is for a worrying

46:01

child. And I was a kid who worried a lot. As you teach

46:04

each you tell each figure one

46:07

of your worries, and you put them

46:09

in the little canister next to your bed, and while

46:12

you're sleeping, they work

46:14

on your worries. So it's like the child

46:16

can have their anxiety relieved because like, don't worry.

46:19

These dolls are specifically meant

46:21

to work. That's all they do as they work on worries.

46:23

And I remember being a kid being like this is a big worry.

46:26

So I would like talk to them. I'm like, look, I'm gonna

46:28

need six of you guys on this worry. I

46:32

would I would totally like give them tasks

46:34

and I'd be like, look, I need everybody, but you you're gonna

46:36

you have a little small worry, but you guys are all

46:38

on this main worry. And I

46:41

really believed it, and um

46:43

and took comfort in knowing that while

46:46

I was sleeping, they'd be attacking

46:48

the worry. It was awesome. They don't they don't take

46:50

it away, but they work on it. Yeah,

46:52

they work for you, and I love it for

46:55

two reasons. In my household, Um, my

46:57

boys are I'm white and my husband's

46:59

Mexican, so they would it would be

47:01

great for them. I'm always trying to incorporate, you

47:03

know, their culture, and that

47:06

would be cool. But also, sleeping

47:08

is tough just for us in general. Kids with autism

47:10

are always up in the middle of the night and we're

47:13

still working on that. But if that could

47:15

be something that could help them stay

47:17

in their own bed and stay you

47:19

know, not have to because I'm a sandwich right now,

47:21

I'll have both boys on either side of me and

47:24

they just roll right into me. So I'm like trying

47:26

to teach them to sleep in their own beds and stuff,

47:28

and that's a great idea. I'm gonna

47:30

look those up. Yeah, I got a

47:32

lot. It was. It was I was so lucky to have

47:34

a child psychologist mom, because

47:37

she and people always

47:39

joke with me over the years like, oh, because my stepfather

47:41

was a psychologist and my stepmother's a therapist,

47:43

and people are like, oh, were they always all analyzing you? And

47:46

the truth is I didn't. I didn't feel that at all. I felt

47:48

like I was really well listened to.

47:51

M They understood the importance

47:54

of listening to the child and hearing what they

47:56

have to say. And I always felt heard. And so

47:59

you want to men, and we're never like in

48:01

a room with a big mirror. Ever, what

48:04

do you mean, like you you never

48:07

ever we're in like a room you

48:11

mean like a two way mirror where they were Thank

48:15

goodness now, no, right

48:19

though, when you say stuff like that, that's the first thing

48:21

you go to. It's like, wow, you had a lot

48:23

of you had a lot of therapy and your yes,

48:26

yes. So my father in

48:28

his later years, my father in his later

48:30

years taught a marriage counseling course

48:33

with my stepmother, so then he got on the therapy

48:35

therapy trained too, was getting in from all sides.

48:38

It's important. I mean, you can tell when you listen

48:40

to this podcast that Zach, especially

48:43

you have had a lot of words

48:46

of wisdom in your life because you have

48:48

such empathy with everyone that you talked to. And I

48:51

just think that that's one of the best parts about

48:53

listening. I mean, I love the show, I love everything

48:55

about it, but I will say, Anne, you raised

48:57

a nice young man who is very empathy

49:00

setic to people and kind,

49:02

and I just think that it's

49:04

so cool to listen and see that your

49:07

two favorite actors are really

49:09

good people and they're just fun talking

49:12

to one another, and it's just so much fun listening.

49:14

You're very sweet, Chrissy. I heard everything

49:17

you just said. You just said Zach is empathetic,

49:19

and I'm not I heard you know, no,

49:22

no, no, I'm sure when when Chrissy's back

49:24

on for your mom's show, she'll say the

49:26

same thing about it. I am good with moms,

49:29

so you know, I know you're just kidding. I

49:31

am. That

49:34

means a lot to me, Chrissy. And yes, not only did I have

49:36

empathetic therapists in my life,

49:39

but I also was in therapy. We

49:41

you know, there was no stigma in my family about going

49:44

to therapy or seeking out new age

49:46

things, whether it be books or courses.

49:49

It was a very the environment was very open

49:51

to working on yourself. You

49:54

know. I know plenty of people listening, I'm sure

49:56

their families were the opposite. There was something wrong with you

49:58

if you were going with therapists, or or there was

50:00

something wrong with you if you're reading a self help book

50:03

or or had interest in a workshop. So

50:06

I'm very blessed that I had a family that was like, do

50:08

it all, read everything, you know, take

50:11

that wacky workshop where you're walking on goals

50:13

or whatever it is. That's it. It's very interesting

50:15

our parents kind of had the same

50:18

type of not the same upbringing,

50:20

but had a lot of the same interests.

50:22

And so because of that, Zach and I

50:25

have a very similar upbringing

50:27

where we took workshops and you

50:29

know what I mean, and therapy was wasn't

50:32

looked at as something bad. You know, um,

50:35

it's it's it's it's really interesting. It's

50:37

really that I find that the most

50:39

interesting about our friendship. It's like we were destined

50:42

to meet if you ask me, because

50:44

a lot of the things that we went through as

50:46

kids are

50:49

just too similar, you know, it's just we have

50:51

well learn that we both would sneak into the light.

50:57

I told Donald mom on the on the last

50:59

show that I would other kids were sneaking

51:01

behind the school to smoke cigarettes. I would sneak

51:03

into the school auditorium to play

51:05

with the ancient lighting board. And Donald

51:08

was like, I did too, but

51:12

he did it because he was in the A V. Club

51:14

man. I did it because I thought it was like, you

51:17

know, I was freaking uh flying

51:21

turn turning everything into light speed?

51:24

Right? Great? Um,

51:28

well, I hope that that was helpful, Chrissy.

51:30

Um um. I would say fix

51:32

your life? Well, but I'm scared.

51:35

No, we don't want to. We we don't. This isn't fix

51:37

your life segment, but definitely, um, get

51:39

a copy. Do you want to fix your life? I

51:42

actually had a just a quick question about

51:44

it, but I am interested in the book too. Yeah, so get

51:46

the book. Um, the Falling Down Time. Your kids are

51:48

obviously a little young for it, but my clients kids

51:50

will. But yeah, you're a diversity divorsity,

51:52

but this should be on your coffee table in your office,

51:55

for your for your for your clients falling

51:57

down to tell them where I found it, and they'll

51:59

just like what you are on that podcast.

52:02

You know what? You can put a post

52:05

it note on this on the coffee table in your in

52:07

your waiting room. That says Zach Braff's mom wrote

52:09

this awesome book, I Will The

52:11

Falling Down Time, which is on Amazon. Let's

52:14

take a break. We'll be right back after these fine

52:16

words. Okay,

52:23

Donald is giving you a fix your life opportunity.

52:26

I wasn't going to do it, but he's the co host. Ladies

52:28

and gentlemen, it's time for Illinois's favorite

52:31

segment. It's time to

52:34

fix You're all

52:40

right? Go ahead, Chrissy. Okay,

52:42

Well it's pretty simple. I

52:45

am single, so I'm

52:49

I'm just kind of ready to start dating.

52:51

I know it sounds like you know people.

52:54

Everyone does it at their own pace, whenever the

52:57

time is right. Right for me, I'm

52:59

feeling the time time is right. I am.

53:02

And I apologize to my ex if he's listening to this,

53:05

sorry, but he

53:08

can date two, go for it whatever. I

53:12

have two awesome kids and

53:15

they are young and well

53:18

obviously we're a package deal. But I

53:21

want to get to know someone for who they are.

53:23

I want them to get to know me for who I am.

53:26

You know, when is the right

53:28

time to tell people about it? What

53:31

do I? How do I approach

53:33

this subject? I mean, I think Donald you would

53:36

know, um what it's like dating when

53:38

you already have children and obviously finding

53:40

someone that you want to be a companion

53:42

with and then and then I am

53:45

still open to having children some day. M

53:47

thirty two, so I have time

53:50

and I would love to start

53:53

a life with someone in that way. But also

53:55

right now, I'm just looking to date two right

53:58

that. That's normal and you should and there's nothing

54:00

wrong with that. Have you started? The obvious

54:02

question that comes to mind is the apps?

54:04

Have you tried? And you don't have to go on the Tinder

54:07

of course, but like one of the more ones

54:09

for relationships like match and such?

54:11

Have you have you done any of that? Yeah?

54:15

Funny enough, I met my husband on

54:17

e harmony, so that one's out. Yeah,

54:22

it doesn't stuck, So

54:26

I M I did. Yeah,

54:28

I looked at so many apps. I got on

54:30

I'm then I got off of that. I got on to bed

54:33

and I'm like, I've talked to

54:35

people. I will come on a couple dates.

54:37

I just don't want to like rope somebody in

54:40

and then be like, by the way, I have two kids. Well,

54:42

I think in your match profile, you in your match

54:44

if I was advising you as your dating

54:46

advisor, I would not I would have your beautiful children

54:49

in somewhere in your match profile, pictures of you

54:51

happy with your kids, you know, so you're never misleading

54:54

anyone. I'm I'm a mom of two. I mean,

54:56

there's think how many people are out there dating

54:58

with children. The kind of man you're

55:00

going to be looking for is not someone who's going to be afraid

55:02

of that, obviously. Yeah, I was gonna say if you're if you

55:05

if you find somebody and you say I

55:07

have kids and that's a deal break up for them, that wasn't

55:09

the person for you anyway, right, So you

55:11

know it's it's it's I

55:14

don't think. I don't think there is a

55:17

scenario where you don't automa

55:19

where from the gate you should be telling people

55:21

I'm a single mother, you know. Um,

55:24

I think the more honest and open you

55:26

are, you'll attract the type of person you're

55:28

looking for. You know where. Uh so

55:32

I wouldn't. I wouldn't worry

55:34

about I wouldn't worry about that. You'll also remove

55:36

the anxiety um right away that

55:38

oh I'm gonna be misleading and found

55:40

out, like no, you're being right up front, like don't

55:43

don't come knocking if you're not interested in they'll

55:46

still come knock. And trust me, yeah they still they'll

55:48

still come knocking. Oh yeah, I've had a couple of Yeah.

55:51

But you might also, I mean, you know, full disclosure,

55:54

you might you might want some fun

55:56

and and just some fun dating. It might. It might you

55:58

might after being in a marriage going

56:00

through this divorce which doesn't sound which

56:03

obviously is unpleasant, you know, give yourself

56:06

license to date and have fun and maybe

56:08

not necessarily go right for the guy

56:11

who's maybe going to be your next husband

56:13

and stepfather to your kids. You might want

56:15

to have a little fun dating

56:18

time with people that aren't necessarily father

56:21

material, but fun fun. At

56:24

the end of the day, you and if it does get

56:26

to the point where it does become that serious, you could

56:28

say, well, you know, I got into I wasn't I

56:31

was I'm a divorced parent, I wasn't

56:33

really looking for a relationship. Where

56:35

we are now is where we are, and so I'm

56:37

opening up more to you. But to

56:40

be honest, I was just trying to get out there

56:42

and meet new people, to be honest with you,

56:44

and you just so happy it just so happened

56:46

to get serious with you. So if you want to keep

56:48

it light, it's all right to keep it light too. It

56:51

depends on what it is that you want to do. As Zach

56:53

just said, if you're looking for another relationship,

56:55

I would be as open as possible when

57:00

you know, letting everyone know who you

57:02

are if that's what you want, because I always feel

57:04

if you're withholding anything, then you're gonna always gonna have this anxiety

57:07

in your head about oh what if? What if he finds

57:09

out? So don't just let's just get rid of it right off

57:11

the bat by being open with it in your profile

57:13

of whatever dating site you're using. But

57:15

if you're going out to have fun, who cares, It's none of that business.

57:18

Yeah, you can have two profiles, my dating

57:21

for a fun ROMP profile with no

57:23

kids, and then your relationship profile with

57:25

kids. Mom, what do you think

57:27

of me? And Donald's pop psychology? Are we doing a good

57:29

job. You're terrific. I wouldn't add anything.

57:32

Oh, there you go. I never in a million

57:34

years thought I would get dating advice

57:36

from the Zach Breath. Well, we give great

57:39

advice and we were just PhD approved

57:41

by my mom to give counseling. So there

57:43

you go, Joel. Joel's out on the dating

57:45

market. Do you have any tips for um?

57:48

No, that sounded really good to me. Just

57:50

being honest and upfront and

57:52

you know, have fun. Dating

57:55

should be fun. So Joel's

57:57

about to go on two dates in front of a lot of

58:00

people the live show. Christy, are you going to

58:02

join us for the live show? I got my ticket?

58:04

I'm mom? Are you joining us for the live show? Do you

58:06

even know about it? Absolutely? All right,

58:08

Friday, everyone listens. A mom doesn't

58:10

know about the live show? I get your mom

58:13

on board. Donald, Now, mom, do you do

58:15

you still listen regularly? Be honest, it's okay

58:17

if you're not fully up to day, listen intermittently.

58:20

Okay, Well, I want to tell you something. When Donald and I started

58:22

this podcast, Chrissy, we made

58:24

a joke saying a handful of Scrubs

58:26

fans to listen and maybe our moms turns

58:28

out both of our moms have checked out for

58:35

the long haul. It's

58:38

become a global sensation. But our mom's

58:40

then know

58:44

you well enough that this is not exciting for them.

58:46

But for us, it's like we're getting to know you and like

58:48

know who you are. It's oh my gosh, it's fascinating.

58:51

And I was just you know, I'm such

58:53

a diehard that everybody comes on here

58:55

and they say, oh, I didn't like season nine. I

58:58

liked it. Let me ask

59:00

you a question, when's the last time you watch season nine?

59:03

Well? And how many times? And

59:05

how many times did you watch season? More

59:07

importantly, Chrissy, what are your feelings on the soundboard?

59:10

You are you pro sound no soundboard?

59:12

You are no soundboard? Chris let her answer

59:16

no, ye,

59:18

what are your thoughts on you like it? Yes, a lot

59:20

of people do. Casey, what are your thoughts on the

59:22

soundboard? Oh? Well that was me.

59:24

I was talking about the soundboard. You

59:31

asked for it, You asked for it.

59:33

Where are you going you asked for it? Oh?

59:36

No, he has to go get mom. This is a new

59:38

thing. He likes to bring Casey on the show multiple

59:40

times. You know what it is. He's

59:42

so obsessed with his wife that he can't spend

59:45

an hour away from her, so we have to go get her. I'm

59:48

looking for I

59:50

want to and she's I know both women

59:52

and both single women are like, that's what I want.

59:55

Where is he? Oh my god? He's he

59:57

literally, mom, he can't do an hour podcast.

59:59

I'm I want to get Casey saying

1:00:03

stuff. And so now he's using

1:00:05

the soundboard. He got

1:00:07

his mom and a dollar on. He's

1:00:09

saying some really mean things. Well, I don't know. No,

1:00:14

no, I assure you he is not Casey.

1:00:16

He's just he's being crazy. Yes,

1:00:20

he is. We know that he is. What I'm

1:00:23

like, what is the soundboard that? No,

1:00:25

Casey, I recorded this. Listen, okay,

1:00:28

Zacha love you, Zacha love you, Zach,

1:00:31

I love you, and I sometimes play it when I feel

1:00:33

I need to hear hear your voice. Dude, do

1:00:35

my show as you should. Let her

1:00:37

hear the Oh and here's Donald wu

1:00:40

tank forever. Here's

1:00:43

Donald. Here's the other one, do or

1:00:46

do not? There is no try?

1:00:49

Oh and here's Donald's favorite sound Casey. Oh

1:00:53

god, he

1:00:57

come on, Casey, with all due respect, we got to

1:00:59

wrap the show up. I'm

1:01:01

not I'm not the one. I know your husband

1:01:03

who it is obsessed with you? How do you go get you when

1:01:05

it's in here? Now? My good love

1:01:09

you? No, no, I

1:01:15

love that woman. I love that woman for the

1:01:17

listeners. I love that one. That

1:01:19

was not that last one was not the board listeners. That

1:01:21

was her. Hey, Donald, I gotta tell you while you're

1:01:23

getting casey, and I mean, I said to the audience,

1:01:25

who and my mom would go, God, this guy is

1:01:28

so obsessed with his wife he can't be without her

1:01:30

for an hour. And both single women went, that's

1:01:32

what I want. I

1:01:35

feel husband material. I

1:01:37

want. I want a relationship that's like Turk

1:01:40

and Carla. You know, they're just so real

1:01:43

another they're so in love. But then

1:01:45

I also love how JD

1:01:48

and Elliott. He says at the end, Elliott,

1:01:50

You're my dream woman. I love.

1:01:53

Yeah. Well, I mean for that to happen,

1:01:56

you gotta be either Turk or Carla,

1:01:58

you know what. I relationships

1:02:00

like that or on television. The real

1:02:03

relationships are gonna have ups

1:02:06

and down. Turkey call and never really had

1:02:08

ups and downs. Man, there they're

1:02:10

ups and down. Was what what are we gonna

1:02:12

name? Is he? You know what I mean? Or you know,

1:02:15

like television relationships

1:02:17

are meant to be just that, to uplift

1:02:21

you and to want you to experience

1:02:24

love like that. But you know what about

1:02:27

I mean Bill Lawrence, I would say to his credit,

1:02:29

I would say, he put in storylines

1:02:32

about divorced people, and now he has ted

1:02:34

Lasso and and and I think those things

1:02:36

are important too, because when you're watching

1:02:39

things, you kind of want to see scenarios that

1:02:41

play out that you you know, what would

1:02:43

you do in that situation or who's you

1:02:45

know, But on TV, it just seems like they

1:02:47

always end up you know, it always

1:02:50

ends up the right way on television.

1:02:52

You know, that's the That's the only thing. Like

1:02:55

me personally, I wanted to I wanted movie.

1:02:57

I wanted to be in relationships like the

1:03:00

movies I saw like sixteen Candles

1:03:02

and or The Breakfast Club and

1:03:04

or you know, those were ideal to me.

1:03:07

And I tried really hard over and over

1:03:09

again to find that. And

1:03:12

I'm gonna tell you something right now, it's only

1:03:14

in the movies, man like. And then

1:03:16

if I found something that was close to it, I really

1:03:18

didn't want it. You know, all the movies

1:03:21

don't always reflect how difficult it is

1:03:23

and how much work a healthy relationship

1:03:25

takes. It's a lot of work. So what you

1:03:27

see me and my wife do is. I

1:03:30

mean, it's our stick and we we've perfected

1:03:32

it. But you know, I

1:03:34

want all the listeners out there to know that you

1:03:37

get the show. You know what I mean? Yeah,

1:03:40

but you are I will say this about you. Of course

1:03:42

you're a normal couple that go through your

1:03:44

hard times in your arguments, but I will say

1:03:47

that you are a very doting,

1:03:49

loving husband.

1:03:52

You give her a lot of love. Yeah.

1:03:54

Have you seen my wife? Yeah, she's a knockout.

1:03:56

Yeah, I'm saying, man, shake

1:04:00

that. I don't appreciate it. We'll

1:04:03

get Florence on here going, don't I love you? Um?

1:04:07

All right, guys, Chrissy,

1:04:09

thank you for coming on. We really appreciate it. And good

1:04:11

luck with your with all that's going

1:04:13

on in your life. Thank you so much.

1:04:16

This, like I said, it was a dream come true.

1:04:18

And good luck to you. I guess I'll see at

1:04:20

the live show. So excited.

1:04:22

Listen if you if you can get on the chat or

1:04:25

if you want to shout out Joel or something like

1:04:27

that, do it. Maybe we'll maybe we'll get

1:04:29

you on a live show too. Well, we don't know, we

1:04:31

don't know. Oh my gosh, oh

1:04:33

all right, Christy, thank you, I love you, Bye

1:04:36

guys, bye bye hie. Here's the take care. Um.

1:04:39

Well that's our show, guys. Um um,

1:04:42

don't forget to pick up the falling downtime.

1:04:44

If you're someone who's going through a divorce

1:04:46

and need to talk to your children, or if someone

1:04:48

in your life is going through that situation, it's

1:04:51

available on Amazon. And

1:04:54

my mom's other book about adoption if

1:04:56

if you're have an adopted child as a beautiful,

1:04:59

beautiful book, um that that addresses

1:05:02

the subject of the birth mother to the child, and

1:05:04

that's called The Mowbray Bird, also available

1:05:07

on Amazon. Mom, did you have fun? I

1:05:10

had a lot of fun. Thank you for giving

1:05:12

you chance. It was terrific. Well,

1:05:15

I love you very much. I love you too.

1:05:18

The live show and I love you Donald, um

1:05:21

and everyone, so please join us. Our next

1:05:23

show is the live show. We'll be watching my

1:05:25

quarantine, all sorts of fun, all sorts

1:05:27

of adventures. You'll be seeing us with our new fancy

1:05:29

webcams that that we bought, and

1:05:32

um, lots of guest appearances and fun

1:05:34

and laughter. Right, than Tank

1:05:37

forever. All right, count us out, Donald six

1:05:40

seven, eight stories about

1:05:42

show. We made a

1:05:45

bunch of nurses stories.

1:05:57

Yea, I

1:06:00

show which I know.

1:06:03

Mm hmmm