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Family Secrets is a production of I Heart

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Radio. I'm

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Danny Shapiro, and this is family

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Secrets, the secrets that are kept

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from us, the secrets we keep from

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others, and the secrets we keep

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from ourselves. I've

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heard from so many about your own

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family secrets and realize that what

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we are creating for each other on this podcast

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is a community, a community for

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those who are looking for a safe and supportive

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space to unburden themselves. To

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that end, we've created a number for listeners

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to call in to record stories

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to share here in this space.

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This week, I'd like to share a few

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of those stories from our community. Thanks

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for listening, Hi,

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I just wanted to share a little bit about my

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family secret UM. I was

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raised by my mom and did not

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know my father, and a

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about a year ago, I chose to

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do UM a DNA test

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and connected with my

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father's first cousin. We

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eventually found out UM and

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I did end up contacting my father

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UM. It took about three contacts and

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it took about four months for him to

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find me get back with me because

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he did not believe that I was his daughter.

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So we did meet and we did a

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DNA test and of course

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it showed that he was my father, and

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since then it became

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a very rocky road. Um. He

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it turns out, is

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a member of the Catholic

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Church, and um

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is a Catholic deacon, and he very

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much did not want this to become public

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knowledge, even though I was conceived

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prior to him becoming a deacon

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and prior to his marriage to his wife. Currently,

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so I

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was told to

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refrain from telling anybody,

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and um he made it known that I

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was not to contact any other members of his

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family. UM. So she

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stated that he did want a relationship

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with me, but that

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relationship with me was a monthly

2:24

lunch meeting. So I

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chose eventually to cut the relationship

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off because it just

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wasn't healthy. Um. But I

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am the secret, and I

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have two sisters that will never know me,

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and grandmother and aunt out

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there that will never know me. And that's

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my secret. My

2:47

secret is actually my grandma's

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secret. She died a couple

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of months ago, and um,

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it was a very uh traumatic

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thing, I think for myself mostly.

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Uh. She was the heart

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surgery. She was

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left on bypass. Her chest

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opened for a few days, and she was

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awake and aware for

3:13

some of it and able

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to write me notes. UM.

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It was obviously a painful death for me and my

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family, But we found out from her sister

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and her best friend afterwards that

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my grandma had actually known two years prior

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that she needed to get the surgery.

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But at that same point in time, she

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had found out that her husband

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was secretly UH

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spent all their money and

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had racked up a lot

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a lot of money in debt, and she felt

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she couldn't afford surgery,

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and none of us have confronted

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him to tell him that we know what was going on

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there. And she

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decided to clean houses for

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the last two years and make as much

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money as she could because she

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wanted to get out of that debt that

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caused, and she kind of worked herself

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to death. Her heart couldn't handle the

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stress of working and

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UH when it already needed help.

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And so we feel

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a little I feel a little bit like he caused

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her death. But I still get on the

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phone with him and talk to him and

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and say things like I

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love you. And it's

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really hard to reconcile, um,

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feeling like someone caused something and not

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being able to really say

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anything to them about it, and to

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know that she was holding onto

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a lot of things that she never wanted

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to tell us out of out of shame

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or anything else. And

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Uh, I'm really glad my aunt

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broke the secret. I guess. So

4:58

that's my secret, thanks. Yeah. My

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secret is one that I've held for a

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very long time. When

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I was seven years old and living

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in public housing in New Orleans,

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I was molested by one

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of my neighbors and

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I never spoke a word of it too

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my parents or even my siblings,

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just because I

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I didn't think that they would be able to handle

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it. Um. I wasn't sure

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how they would react, and I

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felt like I would have let them down for not

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being strong enough and

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being able to fight back. So

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I held on to the secret for a very

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very long time. It wasn't until

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I was twenty three and I

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spoke to one of my very close friends about

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it after the topic

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came up and speaking

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about it for the first time in still

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when he is, I

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just broke down and I could barely

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talk about it. But

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after that instant, I started

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to open up more. I opened

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up and told my fiance in an incident, but

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until this day, I still have not told

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even one of my parents, are any of my siblings

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or any of my real close family, because

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I'm still not sure how

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to tell them this news, how to tell

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them what happened so long ago, and

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even why I helped it for so

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long. But as

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each day goes by and as I

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open up more and more, things

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do get a little easier. So

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that's my family's secret, and I'm

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not sure how long it will stay a secret, but hearing

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everyone else open up has

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kind of inspired me. Maybe

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I should open up. Maybe I'll help incipate.

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So thank you for this podcast. Thank

7:03

you father, look what you do. If

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you'd like to share your story, call one

7:17

eight eight eight Secret zero

7:20

and record your story. We won't

7:22

be able to run all the stories, but we do want

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to shine a light on as many as we can. The

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number again is one eight eight eight

7:29

Secret and then the numeral

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zero. For

7:43

more podcasts for my Heart Radio, visit the

7:45

I Heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or

7:47

wherever you listen to your favorite shows.