0:00

Alright scum and villainy, let's

0:02

make some noise for Kevin Smith

0:04

and Mark Bernardin. Fatman

0:06

Beyond!

0:24

Hey! Hello!

0:29

Welcome to Fatman Beyond, I'm Kevin Smith.

0:32

I'm Mark Bernardin. Hey!

0:34

Welcome

0:39

everybody, great to be back. Sold

0:42

out show here at Scum and Villainy Cantina

0:44

in Hollywood, on Hollywood

0:46

Boulevard. Put your hands together so the folks

0:48

at home know you're real. A

1:00

very happy Juneteenth to everybody.

1:06

That was almost scary. Yeah. Like

1:08

that little beat before. It was a beat where people were

1:10

like, I don't get it. No, they jumped on board.

1:13

I have to apologize, it wasn't until

1:15

I got out of the car that I realized

1:17

I'm really not dressed appropriately for Juneteenth.

1:20

Tell them what you told me in the alleyway. Colonel

1:23

Sandry showed up for Juneteenth. Who

1:26

got these sugar spices? Thank

1:28

God I didn't wear the white hat. That's

1:38

true, good point, good point. I did

1:40

almost die. I mean as long

1:42

as there's no like, Klan hood in your fucking

1:44

closet. Truly. Like Don Johnson.

1:47

Truly, man. Hey, Wap,

1:49

before we dive into things, be

1:51

like Linus

1:52

in the fucking Peanuts Christmas special where

1:55

they put a light on him and he has to explain the meaning

1:57

of Christmas. And

1:59

explain...

1:59

Juneteenth for those folks at home who are like,

2:02

what? Yeah. Well,

2:05

boys and girls, as we gather around the whatever

2:09

anti-slavery fire we have here. Juneteenth

2:14

is a celebration of the day where

2:16

the residents of Galveston, Texas learned

2:19

that slavery had been abolished. Ooh, there's

2:22

what

2:22

was that Galveston chiming in. I

2:24

know. Over to Galveston.

2:27

Yes. Live from Galveston.

2:29

Now, because, you know, the Emancipation Proclamation

2:31

allegedly freed the slaves, but

2:33

it turns out that nobody told them. And

2:36

so it took the Union Army

2:38

to eventually make its way throughout what

2:41

was the country at that point. And the last place

2:43

they made it to was Galveston. So

2:45

it took two years to tell everybody, by the way,

2:47

you don't have to go to work anymore. And

2:50

so that is the reason why we now celebrate. It

2:52

was June 19th, 1865. So

2:55

that's why it's Juneteenth. That's why we celebrate.

2:57

It is not just a black holiday. It's an American holiday

3:00

because, you know, it's a federal holiday. So

3:06

my, my, to my white friends, you can now

3:08

come to the barbecue today. Tomorrow's

3:13

another story, but today is fine.

3:17

Just don't bring potato salad with raisins in

3:19

it. No. Oh,

3:22

hello. And

3:25

thank you for the Wakanda forever.

3:27

Themed appropriate. See,

3:29

I'm not fucking around. All

3:32

right. It is also, we're just coming

3:34

off of Father's Day. Happy Father's Day to you. Happy

3:37

Father's Day to you. Happy Father's Day to all

3:39

the, Happy Father's

3:41

Day to all you motherfuckers out there.

3:44

What did you do for Father's Day? I

3:46

watched movies in my house without my

3:48

children. Whatever dad

3:50

wants. Can you take the reasons

3:53

for Father's Day away from me

3:55

for a couple of hours?

3:57

But no, it was lovely. Like my, my

3:59

kids made me breakfast. in bed in the morning, fucking

4:01

tradition. Then I didn't do anything all day. I

4:04

watched movies. I watched time after time.

4:06

When was the last time you saw Time After Time? The,

4:08

uh, The Malcolm McDowell, David

4:11

Warner. I'm hunting, uh, Jack the Ripper. Yeah,

4:13

H.G. Wells, V. Jack the Ripper. Probably

4:15

within the last 10 years. Yeah? Movie

4:17

really fucking holds up. It fucking holds up, right? Yeah.

4:19

It was actually, like, one of my first time travel

4:21

movies that explained the concept

4:24

to me as a kid. But I was like, oh, that's fucking, that's

4:27

wild. Yeah, that's how that works. And I felt very on

4:29

brand for a stretch where I was going

4:31

to be talking about The Flash. So

4:33

I'd watch a good time travel movie.

4:38

And there's a preview of Mark's opinion

4:41

of The Flash, everybody. Can

4:44

I tell you my favorite part of The Flash

4:46

a weekend? Because I watched it, uh, let

4:48

me see. I saw it at the premiere on Monday,

4:50

so a week ago from today. Then

4:53

we had screenings at Smog Castle

4:55

Cinemas watch with Kev, so I watched it three

4:57

nights in a row. So

4:59

guess how I feel about it. But

5:02

my favorite moment outside

5:05

of the movie itself, Movie Proper, was I watched

5:07

it with Harley,

5:09

my daughter, on Thursday. Yes, it

5:11

was adorable. She was in Jersey shooting

5:13

a new film, and so I picked her up. She came down

5:15

to Smog Castle with Austin,

5:17

blockchain Coltrane from Kirk Clerks

5:19

III, her boyfriend. And so we're sitting there

5:21

watching. I've already seen it at the premiere. And

5:24

so I'm sitting there watching it with her. And

5:26

about halfway through the movie,

5:30

she's talking about

5:32

the two Ezra Miller's on screen.

5:35

And my actress daughter whispers

5:38

to me, do you think they got

5:40

paid twice? If

5:45

I had a pause button in the theater, I

5:48

would have paused it and been like, who raised

5:50

you, man? Yeah,

5:54

no, aside from that, I went

5:56

to the city on, God, it

5:58

was yesterday, Father's Day?

6:00

It was. Yeah, so yesterday I was

6:02

in New York City, I was just on the East Coast, and

6:04

I was in New York City, and we went to see the new

6:06

production of Sweeney Todd at

6:08

the Lunt Fontaine with Josh

6:11

Groban and Anna

6:13

Lee Ashford, I think her name is, playing

6:15

Mrs. Lovett, who is hands

6:17

down the best Mrs. Lovett I've ever seen. I

6:19

never saw Angela Larensberry do it

6:21

in 1979, I was too young. But

6:23

I've seen five different

6:25

mountings of Sweeney Todd, which sounds exactly

6:27

as filthy as I meant it. And

6:30

she was fucking incredible. It's always a darkly

6:32

humorous show, like

6:34

Gallo's humor, but it's actually,

6:36

they turned it into a flat out comedy,

6:38

and the second half is still a tragedy, but

6:41

it was absolutely

6:43

fucking wonderful, man, it was packed and shit,

6:45

and we had like second row seats,

6:48

I could see up Josh Groban's

6:50

nose and...

6:52

You got those famous people's seats. No,

6:54

I just overpaid. Anybody

6:57

could do that, you ain't gotta be famous, you just have to fucking

6:59

be stupid. But

7:01

it was well worth it, it was a really good time. And

7:03

then I got on a plane this morning to come out

7:05

here,

7:06

I was gonna go see my mom, but I'll go

7:08

see her next week. The boys

7:10

told me last week that the show, this show

7:12

was sold out, I was like, oh, we can just stream

7:14

it. And they were like, we fucking sold tickets,

7:17

idiot, and it sold out. And

7:19

so I was like, all right, here I come. So we're back,

7:21

yeah. Happy to be here, everybody.

7:23

Glad to be in Los Angeles. You gave me a reason

7:25

to come home and fuck my wife, so

7:27

thank you very much.

7:33

That's why I'm wearing this kingpin-like

7:36

jacket. It's

7:40

like the green jacket at the Masters, like,

7:42

here's what I get every time. White

7:45

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keep it on topic. Shall we dive in?

11:15

Let's fucking do it.

11:16

I saw the flash four times.

11:18

Now, let me throw out a series

11:21

of disclaimers because the internet is just

11:23

fucking having at it with

11:25

me. You know I'm not allowed to like things.

11:27

No. And the moment I do, people are like, you're a fucking

11:29

idiot. I'm like, all right, fair enough.

11:32

Here, let me say this. The issues

11:34

that people have brought up time and time again

11:37

to me when I say I like a thing, they try to knock

11:39

you off your fucking high horse of enjoying a thing.

11:42

One of the reasons people tell me I should not be liking

11:44

this movie

11:45

is based on the CGI. That

11:47

seems to be something a lot of people have been attacking online.

11:50

Here's my feeling on CGI. People

11:52

are like, it doesn't look realistic.

11:54

I gave up on realism the moment I bought

11:56

a ticket for a movie about a guy who solves all of his problems

11:59

by running fucking fast.

11:59

I cannot

12:02

make CGI myself. So I never hold

12:04

anyone to a higher standard of something I can't fucking

12:06

do myself. I know a lot of people think

12:09

that's some sort of cop-out, but I did direct that, so... Ha

12:12

ha! It

12:14

makes fucking sense. Um,

12:18

yes, some of the CGI looked a little rubbery or whatever. That never

12:20

once took me out of the movie. That

12:23

sort of thing doesn't take me out of the movie at all. You're

12:27

dealing with things that aren't really there to begin with. So

12:29

chances are, as

12:29

long as you can get the impression

12:32

across to me, I'm never gonna be one of those people

12:34

that's like, pfft, looks fake. At

12:38

the end of the day, I don't give a fuck how real

12:40

CGI kind of works or it looks. It's still fake in my head. I know

12:42

it's fake. Like, even

12:44

if it's like, wow, that looks convincing, it's like, but it's fake,

12:47

because fucking shit like that doesn't happen in the real

12:49

world. So that didn't pull me out.

12:51

I saw a lot of people being like,

12:54

the babies didn't look real! I was like, see,

12:56

you wanted real-looking babies in Jeopardy? Falling

12:59

off buildings, you cruel fucks. By the

13:01

way, spoilers. Yeah, oh my God. Has

13:04

everybody seen The Flash? Who

13:08

hasn't seen The Flash? What

13:10

the fuck is wrong with you now? You

13:13

weren't alone, I assure you, man. I saw the box office releases.

13:16

It's your fault, guys. Why there's gonna be a Flash too.

13:18

It's you and you guys. Yeah.

13:21

Let's see, what did I think? I,

13:24

look,

13:24

I didn't go to

13:27

see The Flash as much as I want to see Batman

13:29

Returns again, co-starring

13:33

The Flash. And in that way,

13:35

I was completely and utterly satisfied.

13:38

It's no secret that I was there

13:40

for Michael Keaton

13:40

Batman. Michael Keaton Batman

13:43

was like one of those seminal

13:45

moments in my movie-going life. June

13:48

23rd, 1989, one of the happiest

13:51

days of my movie-going existence. June 26, 1999, one

13:53

of the happiest days of my real life. That's

13:58

when my kid was born.

13:59

But June 23rd, 1989, as a moviegoer, oh my god. I

14:03

mean, fucking, you gotta remember, we

14:05

weren't spoiled like everyone is now, where

14:08

they have a comic book movie comes out every fucking

14:10

week. They just dropped a trailer for Craven the

14:12

fucking Hunter, for God's sakes. But

14:14

well, me and Mark were kids, they didn't have

14:17

that sort of thing. We had a Batman,

14:19

two Batmen growing up. We had the

14:22

Super Friends Batman, and we had Adam

14:24

West. And so when 1989, Tim

14:28

Burton's Batman came out, my

14:30

review of that movie was like, oh my god, finally

14:33

the most realistic Batman that's

14:35

ever happened. Which now

14:37

has been a dated comment and whatnot. So

14:40

between that and three years later, Batman

14:42

Returns coming out, and admittedly, I'm

14:44

more of a Batman fan than I am Batman Returns.

14:46

I know a bunch of people on the internet are now chewing me a new

14:49

asshole, but I like the first one just a little bit

14:51

more. I

14:53

was so excited for this movie. The moment

14:55

they announced Michael Keaton was involved, I was like, that's

14:58

fucking fantastic. And I base

15:00

everything on what I like, right? So I was like, this

15:02

movie's gonna make $2 billion, man. Because

15:05

who the fuck doesn't want to see Michael Keaton

15:07

put the fucking suit back on and shit. Apparently

15:10

a lot of people don't give a fuck about. He

15:12

got very specific feelings about June

15:14

23rd, 1989. Very much so,

15:17

yeah. Others not so much. There's an entire

15:19

generation that could give a fuck less about

15:21

Michael Keaton being Batman because he was never

15:23

that Batman. That's the nice thing about

15:25

this Batman concept. Everybody gets

15:27

one. You know, like fucking

15:30

our parents, or like Ralph Garman, who's

15:32

a little older than me, my Hollywood Babylon co-host.

15:34

His Batman will forever be Adam

15:36

West. My Batman will

15:39

forever be Michael Keaton.

15:41

For some people, it's Christian Bale.

15:44

For others, it's Batfleck, who's

15:46

also a bit of mine as well. But like, I've

15:49

seen him naked, so that shouldn't count and shit.

15:53

Then there are people that are like, Rob Pattinson,

15:55

go fucking figure. So everybody,

15:58

and don't forget,

15:59

Largely a bunch of us who will always think

16:02

of Kevin Conroy as the king of all

16:04

Batman. So everyone

16:08

gets the Batman they deserve and

16:10

I really deserve the Michael Keaton Batman

16:13

and loved that Michael Keaton Batman so

16:15

damn much. Was alive for the hype

16:17

when that movie came out. Before the movie came out

16:20

when they announced Michael Keaton was cast there

16:22

was no internet in 1988, 89 and

16:25

still that news broke the fucking internet.

16:28

Because people like eww Mr. Mom, Mr.

16:30

Beetlejuice is going to be Batman and

16:32

for a year you had to hear that shit. In the mainstream

16:35

press and in comic book stores people

16:37

bitching about Michael Keaton. I believed

16:39

in him man because I'm a big fan of Michael Keaton period

16:42

as an actor and he had just come off of Clean and

16:44

Sober where he gave a dramatic

16:46

performance. Most people know him from his comedy

16:48

stuff but Clean and Sober showed that he could

16:50

do darkness, he could do something real. So

16:54

all that fucking hate for Michael

16:56

Keaton as Batman went away when

16:58

the New York Post published what I think is

17:00

the first photo

17:02

of Michael Keaton in the bat costume

17:04

wearing in the bat suit next to the batmobile.

17:07

And then suddenly that piece went everywhere

17:10

in the world and everyone started shutting

17:12

up. And you remember how seriously

17:14

that release was treated like Times Square

17:16

had the bat symbol in it for like one year straight

17:18

hanging up. People were getting the fucking bat symbol

17:21

carved into their hair and shit. There were people

17:23

who didn't fucking know anything about Batman

17:25

who jumped on the Batman train and I'm

17:27

not one of those like fucking garage

17:30

band fans where it's like I liked it when it

17:32

was cool. The more the fucking merrier

17:34

man the more people liked Batman in 1989 that was not

17:37

a

17:37

bad thing for me that was a good thing

17:40

for me. I never liked being alone like in a thing

17:42

that you could only explain to a few people. More

17:44

people jumped on that was great. Also

17:46

more people jump on they can ask you all such questions

17:49

that you can answer for him. I

17:51

watched every Marvel movie with my wife and

17:54

part of the fun was just watching a Marvel movie with

17:56

somebody who'd never seen before. The other part was

17:58

when she was like I don't get it and I could pause.

17:59

and be like, well, let me tell you the story.

18:03

I'll tell you the movie story, the comic book story, and

18:05

the fuck of what the internet says. And we do a half an

18:07

hour on that and start the movie again and shit. So

18:09

I was never one of those people that was like

18:11

less, I like more, I like when more people

18:14

come in. For example, when we

18:16

talked about it, when it crossed the spider verse,

18:18

I saw that at my movie

18:20

theater, it's Moc Castle Cinemas. As I was sitting there watching

18:23

it, it was thunderstruck by

18:25

the notion that here's a movie that

18:27

goes so deep, not just on the

18:29

multiversal

18:29

concept, but on fucking

18:32

Spider-Man,

18:33

that like it's mainstream. It's making

18:35

all this fucking money. It's not making money from just

18:37

people who read the comic books. Your

18:40

mother, your father, your grandparents

18:42

can appreciate that fucking movie. They

18:44

have trained us for the last 10 years, the

18:46

entire audience, the mainstream audience,

18:49

to be as nerdy as fuck, as nerdy

18:51

as some of us were back in the day. And

18:53

to quote or to paraphrase Syndrome

18:57

from fucking the Incredibles, when all

18:59

of us are nerds, then no one will be.

19:02

And it's nice. I think

19:03

that's a cool thing that everyone could get in on the

19:05

party. The only problem is people get

19:07

real tribal about this shit, hardcore

19:10

tribal. Nobody could just enjoy a thing. Everyone's got

19:12

to dissect it. Everyone's got to throw in their opinion

19:14

and tell it. And I don't care about people throwing

19:16

their opinion. It's when people want to take your opinion

19:19

away from you or make it less

19:21

or tell you you're wrong for feeling the way you feel

19:23

about a fucking piece of entertainment for God's

19:25

sakes. I loved this flash movie.

19:27

I thought it was real fucking fun, man. I had a good

19:30

ass time. So much so that I watched it four

19:32

times. Here, I'm gonna admit

19:33

to something I probably shouldn't admit to as a filmmaker

19:35

and maybe fucking Warner Brothers takes away my right

19:38

to show the movie in my movie theater.

19:40

I sat there and I taped fucking 10 minutes

19:42

of that movie. I shot

19:44

it on my phone. The entire Batman and Russia

19:47

sequence, I was like, I'm gonna jerk off

19:49

to this. And I shot it from

19:51

the back of the theater on my phone. Nobody

19:53

was there. I said, run it. And I just fucking shot

19:56

it. I bootlegged the fuck out of it. I'll

19:58

never put it online, but I'd be honest.

19:59

I've watched it nine times since

20:02

then. A nice 10-minute clip. I watched

20:04

it on the fucking plane when I was flying home. Person

20:07

next to me was like, is that on video already? I

20:09

was like, give it a day. Why can we

20:11

never show trailers on this show? I don't

20:13

know. Maybe because one dude pirate shit and

20:15

then tells everybody. It made

20:18

me so fucking happy. It was like getting the Batman 3

20:20

with Michael Keaton that we never fucking got. And

20:23

no disrespect to Batman Forever

20:25

with Val Kilmer, which we'll be talking about in

20:27

a little while. No disrespect

20:29

to the George Clooney Batman.

20:32

No disrespect to any fucking Batman movie. I

20:35

would have loved to have seen the third Michael Keaton Batman

20:37

movie, and we kind of got it with this. If

20:40

you're a DC fan, I'm not saying that

20:42

you have to be a DC fan to appreciate this movie,

20:45

but if you've been a long-time DC, long-suffering

20:48

DC fan, it

20:50

was joyous, man. I felt it was kind

20:52

of like a Donner-esque dive

20:54

into DC's

20:56

glorious past. The

20:59

nerdy as fuck, the multiverse is now something that

21:02

Marvel's done multiple times, and

21:04

this feels like DC's first live-action step

21:06

into it, if I'm not mistaken. We've

21:09

seen them do it, of course, in the animated movies. They did

21:11

the Flashpoint as an animated

21:13

movie. And the

21:15

whole time, I was enjoying the fucking

21:17

of myself. The opening sequence

21:19

with the Justice League, or

21:22

what they gathered of the Justice League,

21:23

was a good-ass time. I

21:26

had only two viewings to be like, holy

21:28

shit, they're doing Batman in broad daylight.

21:31

Something that they never fucking do. And

21:33

then I was like, holy shit, he's wearing the

21:35

blue and gray suit. Something that we've

21:38

always wanted to fucking see. Holy

21:40

shit, he's talking to the fucking Flash. Holy

21:42

shit, spoilers, Wonder Woman shows up. Holy

21:45

shit, there's cohesion

21:47

here.

21:47

Now, I'm not saying, like, holy

21:50

shit, it was better than anything

21:52

Zack Snyder did. Zack Snyder

21:54

laid the fucking track

21:55

for us to see these characters and whatnot. And

21:58

it was a bittersweet goodbye. to an

22:01

entire universe the guy built when you know

22:03

Barry's having a conversation with Bruce Wayne

22:06

and he's and he nerds out a little bit where he's like we're friends

22:08

you want to like hang out and he goes maybe not

22:10

not this time maybe another time and

22:13

you know what's about to happen

22:14

I thought Ben sold it really fucking well

22:16

I've seen Ben as bat-fluck again was joyous

22:20

not only as bat-fluck but as Bruce

22:22

Wayne he said in a few interviews he was like

22:24

look man I just figured out

22:26

how to play this character and that

22:29

character and now it's all coming to an end it's

22:31

kind of bittersweet but he got

22:33

that bite at the apple before it was all

22:35

done because he said many times he's never gonna go

22:37

back to Batman you know

22:40

there's a multiverse so we'll see if that fucking

22:42

happens you know I could see a world

22:44

where ten years from now after he's lived a bunch

22:47

of other life and done other things that

22:49

if some because I know Ben loves the dark

22:51

night returns in a big bad way most

22:53

of us do but like fucking all through chasing

22:56

Amy he read that on the floor of my condo

22:58

he slept on the couch and shit and he was always

23:00

like why can't somebody do this as a fucking movie

23:02

and you know when Zach did BVS

23:05

he got damn close he got to wear the outfit and

23:07

shit there were elements of dark night returns so

23:10

I can't imagine

23:10

if somebody backed up a money truck

23:12

ten years from now and said to a

23:15

fucking nearly 60 year old Ben

23:17

Affleck do you want to do the dark night

23:19

returns

23:21

he might say yeah and

23:22

that would be glorious but for right now

23:25

he had to put this the cowl away

23:27

and he seems to have had a good time doing it I

23:29

know a lot of people online like went after

23:32

him as a smiley Batman because

23:34

at one point he smiles

23:36

God forbid and shit and people were

23:38

like what the fuck it wasn't bad

23:40

I thought it was a cute little joke with the lasso of truth

23:42

they've done the joke before but I

23:44

liked what they did there if you listen very fucking closely

23:47

man because I've watched it four fucking times when

23:49

Batman Batfleck is holding the

23:52

Wonder Woman's

23:52

lasso of truth he can't

23:55

help but first he's like I can't

23:57

say thank you because of

23:59

my love

23:59

that I've built, you know, to deal with childhood trauma and shit.

24:03

And then she says, this is the last of truth. And

24:05

you hear him say, he throws the line away, but

24:08

I thought it was hysterical. He goes, I don't know why I'm

24:10

trying

24:10

to get rid of crime. I should get rid of poverty.

24:13

I have all this money. It's

24:17

really fucking fun, shit like that. I think, what was her

24:19

name? Christina Hodson? Hodson,

24:21

yeah. Wrote the screenplay. She wrote... Bumblebee.

24:25

Did she write Bumblebee as well as

24:28

the other movie? Birds of Prey. Birds of Prey. I

24:31

thought the screenplay was fun. I was shocked

24:34

at how much humor they went for in this. I'd

24:36

heard from people, they're like, oh, it's a funny movie. But

24:39

they actually did lean into the comedy

24:41

of it all. I heard a lot of people talk about, like,

24:43

it takes a lot of cues from Back

24:46

to the Future. I mean, it flat out

24:48

did Back to the Future jokes. They

24:50

leaned into it so much. Definitely more

24:52

lighthearted than Jeff Johns' original

24:55

Flashpoint take on the

24:57

same subject matter. They kind

24:59

of took one layer of Flashpoint

25:01

and then did their own fucking thing with it. I

25:04

thought the Justice League opening was good time. One

25:06

of the finest comic book action

25:09

sequences I've ever seen in a movie,

25:11

the entire opening sequence. Him rescuing

25:13

all the babies and whatnot was good fucking

25:15

time. I thought, I couldn't believe

25:18

they let him get

25:18

away with like, scalpel his fucking

25:20

racing at children's faces, acid and

25:22

shit. He stuck a baby in a microwave, man.

25:25

And the audience fucking cheered. Like,

25:27

it was nuts.

25:30

So that was lovely. And then, you know,

25:32

his whole, like, why he goes back

25:34

in time was

25:38

strong enough. Certainly, they could have gone deeper. Basically,

25:41

Iris gives him the idea. And he's

25:43

like, oh, my God, you're right. And

25:45

then decides to go fucking back in time. A lot of

25:48

people online have attacked the chrono

25:50

ball,

25:51

which is what he's running in when he winds

25:53

up in the, that looks like a theater in

25:55

the round of the multiverse.

25:58

You know, I'm like, that's a choice.

25:59

It didn't bum me out. I wasn't like, fucking,

26:02

oh, I would have done it differently. I honestly would

26:04

never do any of this shit differently. I don't have that kind of imagination.

26:07

But in terms of having to present a multiverse,

26:10

it was a choice. They went with it. I didn't bump into

26:12

it at all. They showed a lot of

26:14

people that looked very CG.

26:17

I think that was because they

26:19

weren't going to get everyone live action. So

26:21

they were like, let's establish a look and go with

26:23

it. Which for a person that's grown

26:25

up reading comic books, it's like,

26:27

people make choices and artists make choices.

26:30

And the choice they made, I didn't bump into. I got

26:32

what they were going for. I was never fucking

26:34

visually lost. Like, what the fuck is going on?

26:37

So I didn't bump into that at all.

26:39

Him

26:41

going back in time to,

26:43

again, spoilers, save his mom.

26:49

I'm not saying you gotta be a robot not to fucking

26:52

fall for that concept. But if you've got a dead parent,

26:54

man, that shit works. That's why Batman

26:56

works so well on me and shit. My dad's

26:58

dead. My mom was like, yeah, but you liked Batman when

27:00

dad was alive too. I

27:03

was like, I know, I was always wondering what

27:05

could have become of me had you both been killed

27:07

in an alleyway. So

27:10

that, you know, Jeff Johns created that aspect

27:12

to the backstory of Barry Allen. Barry Allen,

27:14

when I was a kid, didn't have like, my mom was killed

27:17

and shit. That was added

27:18

years, years later. But you know, it's

27:21

a concept that fucking works and

27:24

they used it well in this movie.

27:26

So him getting

27:29

knocked into the, I

27:32

guess his 18th year, once he goes

27:34

back and saves his mom by putting a can

27:37

of tomatoes

27:38

in the shopping cart, he's

27:40

then gets to see his mom

27:44

go through all his years and memories

27:46

that he didn't fucking have and shit. And then

27:48

on around his 18th birthday,

27:50

some dark flash knocks him into

27:52

the fucking

27:53

present time.

27:55

And that's where most of the movie tends to take

27:57

place. That's where

27:59

Ezra.

27:59

runs into the other Ezra

28:02

and you know if

28:04

If you didn't like Ezra Miller having

28:06

two of them must have been really fucking hard for

28:08

you Because suddenly you got twice

28:10

the fucking Ezra better than Ezra twice

28:13

the Ezra and shit Yeah,

28:15

there's lots and lots of that the

28:19

And I thought that stuff was effective.

28:22

I laughed. I thought there was a good sense

28:24

of humor to it and then

28:27

Finally, they did the thing that I paid the money

28:29

to see

28:30

which was they went to Wayne Manor and they

28:32

fucking brought Michael Keaton

28:34

Back first as Bruce Wayne as old

28:36

haggard fucking bearded hippie Bruce Wayne

28:39

who apparently likes to paint Which

28:42

I thought was really cute and then

28:44

he has no interest in helping him he gives a very

28:46

eloquent explanation of the multiverse

28:49

using spaghetti

28:50

and then The the berries

28:53

go into the bat cave and they're like

28:55

well, he says like well if he won't help us We'll use

28:57

his bat shit. You know the guys like what which

28:59

is a good fucking joke. It's good line saying

29:01

batshit

29:02

Something I would have done. I was jealous. So

29:05

once they're down in that bat cave Oh my

29:07

god, it all begins even before they got there They

29:10

the way they lovingly recreated the fucking

29:12

room in 1989 Batman where you know Alexander

29:15

Knox is like he was king of the wicker people

29:17

and shit the way they lovingly recreated

29:19

the fucking kitchen Where Alfred tells

29:22

the story about young Bruce and shit like that

29:24

in 1989 Batman like is

29:26

crazy. They would spend Such

29:28

a short time in these giant fucking sets

29:31

Like if it were me I would have set the whole movie

29:33

in that one fucking room because I'm like, you know How much it cost

29:36

to rebuild this shit? But

29:38

that's what they do in movies. They fucking spend and boy

29:40

they spend on this movie. They said 200 million bucks

29:42

It's kind of the part of the problem

29:44

with the whole thing It's like when you

29:46

spend that much money, then you got to make so much

29:48

money back and boy They spent

29:51

a lot but this is a movie that's been in

29:53

production in one way or another for the better part

29:55

of nine to ten years With

29:58

its,

29:58

you know series of problems that it was fraught

30:00

with.

30:00

So once they

30:03

lower the fucking back wing and once

30:05

you see Michael Keaton in the suit

30:08

and he does the line which he's been doing in the

30:10

trailers and shit where he's like yeah I'm Batman.

30:14

We were off to the races for me

30:16

man. Michael Keaton played it

30:18

exactly like he played it in 89 and 92

30:20

like a solo

30:24

act who doesn't really relate

30:26

well to others. The

30:32

fun callbacks

30:33

to you know the

30:36

1989's Batman.

30:37

Even something as simple

30:39

as like him fucking going how much do you weigh?

30:42

Like before he fucking he's trying to launch

30:45

like this elevator with the two berries and

30:47

a

30:47

very skeletal supergirl and he puts

30:50

an explosive under it and he's timing

30:52

it out or measuring it out on his wrist

30:54

gauntlet and shit and he grabs this

30:56

thing which looks like a detonator and then he opens

30:58

it and it's like measuring tape

31:00

and he's measuring to like he's doing

31:02

simple fucking math. I thought that was like

31:05

so sweet man it echoed back

31:07

to my Batman exactly where he was like

31:10

well I devised this shit for a certain

31:12

weight and I don't know how much you

31:14

fuckers weigh you know. He did

31:16

it to Vicki Val and fucking like 30 years later

31:19

he was doing it to fucking The Flash.

31:20

Putting him in

31:24

a fucking bat I mean letting

31:26

him fucking fight in a way

31:28

that he never got to fight before

31:30

and yeah like I know that wasn't Michael Keaton fucking

31:33

whipping and beating ass. What?

31:35

Oh my god. But didn't he

31:38

look like the fighting version

31:40

of Michael Keaton from 1990. All

31:42

the moves were very similar just

31:44

very rapid and much stronger. He never

31:47

kept on always doing this shit.

31:50

Totally somebody grabbed him from behind he

31:52

backed into a fucking wall and shit he used his

31:54

batarang in an expert fashion

31:57

he used the fucking thing

31:59

real

31:59

I don't know what you call that, obviously.

32:02

It's that thing. That thing. Everything

32:05

about that sequence, him going to Russia. I thought

32:07

it was fucking badass and true to character when they

32:09

get into the fucking giant ball that

32:11

they're holding Kara Zor-El.

32:14

And he sees this on Superman. He's like, it's not him.

32:16

Let's go. And he's willing

32:18

to fucking abandon her there and shit. I was

32:20

like, that's my Batman. He don't give a fuck.

32:25

So I loved all that shit. I loved his sequences

32:27

as Bruce Wayne, where he would sit there and talk to

32:30

Barry and talk about, like, you know,

32:32

I used to, I would put on

32:34

a cape

32:35

and fight crime as if that could bring my parents

32:37

back. Like, all that shit rang so fucking

32:39

true

32:40

to my favorite version of Batman.

32:42

So my love of Michael Keaton Batman definitely

32:45

fueled my enjoyment of this movie. But that

32:47

being said,

32:48

if they hadn't gone with him, I

32:50

still think I would have really enjoyed the flick. I

32:53

thought it was put together so well. I know

32:55

a lot of people online bumped into the

32:57

third act

32:58

there were

33:00

what I feel like were homages to

33:03

characters from the past, which featured

33:05

some actors who weren't with

33:07

us anymore. I don't know the logistics

33:09

of that. I cannot imagine

33:11

that Warner Brothers, you know,

33:13

a publicly traded corporation, is

33:16

going to use anyone's likeness without

33:18

getting permission from somebody's estate. Can't

33:21

imagine they'd risk it. That being said, if

33:24

somebody's estate is like, have at it,

33:26

I don't see why it was an insult. Some

33:28

people were just like, how insulting to use the

33:30

image of Christopher Reeve. Theater

33:33

I was in all four fucking times when

33:35

they showed Christopher Reeve, everyone went fucking

33:37

nuts. Nobody was sitting there going, boo,

33:39

this is disrespectful. Disrespectful.

33:41

Everybody felt, oh man, there's my Superman.

33:44

Or there's a Superman that I grew up in. Then Helen Slater

33:47

like flies up next to him and shit. I

33:49

was delighted to see Adam West. You

33:52

know, George Reeves is not my Superman. I know he

33:54

has a tragic past in real life and whatnot.

33:56

But I can't imagine they use George

33:59

Reeves Superman.

33:59

without getting some form of permission from his

34:02

estate, you would have to.

34:04

Just because you own a movie doesn't mean you own the likeness

34:06

rights. I know this for a fact because in

34:09

Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, we had Jay

34:11

wearing a shirt that featured

34:13

the character of Olaf on the shirt

34:15

from Clerks. And I assume since the studio

34:17

owned Clerks, we could use that image.

34:20

And we couldn't, and we got sued, and we had to pay

34:22

somebody off because of that. So if that

34:24

was the case with fucking Jay and Silent Bob

34:26

Strike Back, I can't imagine Warner

34:29

Brothers was like, let's do whatever the fuck we want.

34:31

They had to get permission, and I didn't bump into

34:34

those appearances. Like I thought it was a nod

34:36

to their cinematic past, their

34:39

multimedia past. I thought

34:41

it was weird that they didn't show the guy who played

34:43

Flash for nine fucking years man,

34:46

especially when Ezra showed up

34:48

on the Flash. And especially because

34:50

I've heard, I don't know, I can't fact check it, I didn't

34:52

speak to Grant Gustin, but I think they shot

34:54

a cameo with him and just didn't use it for

34:56

time or whatever the choice was. But

34:59

I didn't bump into that hard enough to be like, pick

35:01

up your coats, we're leaving. Just

35:04

seemed like an odd choice to show the Jay

35:07

Garrick Flash. And according to the internet,

35:09

nobody knows who that Jay

35:12

Garrick Flash was. I thought it was John Wesley

35:14

shit,

35:15

but I've heard no. In

35:17

fact, I believe you just told me no. You

35:19

thought it was the guy who was in

35:21

the Flash who played Jay Garrick, but

35:23

turned out to be Zoom spoilers for fucking

35:25

six years ago. But

35:28

he's Teddy, he's online going, it wasn't

35:30

me. So does anybody know who was the Jay

35:32

Garrick Flash?

35:35

I thought it was John Wesley shit, but look fucking

35:38

just like, what is it? Of

35:40

John Wesley shit? I

35:43

mean, it could have been pulled from the show

35:45

and not a re... Has John

35:48

Wesley shit gone out? Banff man, jump

35:50

in here real quick.

35:52

What? Banff.

35:55

Hey, look, it's Banff Man, everybody! Banff

36:00

man, if I was home, of course, I'd be all over the

36:03

comments and shit like that. You got a laptop in

36:05

front of you Can you?

36:07

Find out if John Wesley John Wesley

36:09

ship said anything that there was him to me It

36:11

looked like him but it's a very

36:13

quick pun intended flash of the character

36:15

So I don't know if I'm right but we

36:17

know it wasn't Teddy because he's out there saying that

36:19

it's not him It's it's a hard thing to

36:22

Google because you Google John

36:24

Wesley ship flash and Jay

36:26

Garrett and you you get a thousand

36:28

results, why don't you add in the flash movie

36:31

motherfucker and that will help your search because

36:36

Information is possible. No

36:38

you didn't It's

36:41

still

36:43

Like fucking burn all

36:45

the TV. It's all the TV

36:47

stuff. Well, somebody fucking smarter

36:49

than us. We'll figure this out

36:50

Seeing out of last

36:53

even for a second was cool

36:54

and to address the fucking giant spider

36:57

in the room Yes, I Was

37:01

dumbstruck and delighted to see

37:04

Fucking Nick Cage fighting a giant

37:06

spider in the third act

37:09

man I

37:11

a lot of people ask me like did you what the fuck

37:13

did you know? I knew because Russ

37:15

Berlin game at comic book comm

37:18

had reached out to me a couple weeks

37:19

back like when my mom first

37:22

got sick and I was in Florida and shit like that

37:24

and

37:24

You know I was feeling kind of in the

37:26

dumps because at one point they were like you got to get hospice

37:29

care for her Which is never a good fucking sign.

37:31

So Russ was like I could really cheer

37:33

you up man He's gone But in order to do that I have

37:35

to spoil a piece of the flash for you and I

37:37

don't really care about that Kind of thing. So I was a good spoiler

37:40

and he was like

37:41

Nick Cage shows up as Superman and fights a

37:43

giant spider I was like get the fuck out

37:45

of here and I can't say this for a fact,

37:48

but my mom got better after hearing

37:50

that So

37:53

shaft of light beamed in do

37:55

with that what you will I

37:59

I was like delighted when

38:02

that moment happened at the premiere I

38:04

was sitting next to Jennifer my wife

38:06

and I like when it fucking popped up on

38:09

screen I turned to Jen and I was like, that's

38:11

my Superman and Jennifer

38:14

who has been with me for 25 years

38:16

was like, yeah, I know She

38:19

goes I've heard the fucking story and

38:21

shit I got a second bite of the apple

38:23

when I watched it with my kid who I was like Well, she

38:26

don't fucking know So when that came up on screen,

38:28

I turned to her and I was like, that's my Superman.

38:30

She goes dad. Everyone knows that You've

38:33

been talking about it for years.

38:34

Yes for a guy who told that story over

38:37

and over again to see it show up

38:38

Was delightful man as I've told

38:40

many outlets Rolling Stone comic

38:43

book calm a bunch of people

38:45

Asked for a comment on it. I'll say the same thing

38:47

here I have spent the better part of 30 years

38:50

of my career Given shoutouts

38:52

to pop culture and I've now lived long enough

38:54

My career has lasted long enough where pop

38:56

culture is starting to shout back and

38:59

that is really fucking nice That

39:03

being said I Don't

39:06

feel that was just a shout out to me. That's

39:08

a shout out to Tim Burton That's a shout out to

39:10

Nick Cage a lot of people been involved

39:12

in this ill-fated Superman and a lot of people

39:15

Like can lay claim to it not

39:17

the least of which is

39:19

John Peters now

39:21

fucking if all weekend long Everybody's

39:23

been blowing me up in my text and on Twitter going

39:26

like what the fuck your mind must have been blown

39:28

if you think My mind was blown. I

39:31

wish to God I could have been next to John Peters

39:33

when he saw this because I'm sure that motherfucker Was like

39:36

I knew it would have worked Cuz

39:39

it looked fucking cool man like for

39:41

the 12 15 seconds, whatever it was I

39:44

was convinced I was like fuck they should make that

39:46

movie now man Nick Cage looked badass

39:48

and shit

39:49

and in a world of multiverses where we've got

39:51

like 86 different Batman Why

39:54

can't we have a fucking Nick Cage Superman

39:56

movie man throw somebody fucking 75

39:59

million bucks and be like?

39:59

do with it what you can. Fucking

40:03

do the Mandy version. Give it to Panos

40:05

Cosmatos. And do like, do

40:07

the Mandy version of fucking Superman

40:09

Lives. Why not? I guess probably

40:11

after Flash, no chance. Yeah.

40:15

When we get into the third act,

40:18

one thing I thought was kind of effective.

40:20

They did a bad job at hiding

40:22

that young Barry would eventually

40:24

be the villain. That was the one thing I thought was strange, the whole

40:27

movie. Yes, Zod is there. But

40:29

really, the movie doesn't have a villain so much.

40:32

Zod is a threat, but it's not like fucking

40:34

Barry's

40:36

fighting grief seems

40:38

to be the big enemy. That's the driving factor that

40:40

sends it back in time and whatnot. Finally,

40:43

in the third act, other than Zod,

40:45

they give us the true villain, that young Barry is

40:48

the one that knocks old Barry,

40:50

or older Barry,

40:51

into 10 years ago,

40:54

where we spend most of the story

40:56

and whatnot. And I like that. I thought

40:58

it was kind of dope, the way he was just like, young

41:00

Barry was like, no, he wouldn't accept the deaths.

41:02

He was like, again. It shows a real

41:04

video game mentality. An entire generation

41:07

raised on, we'll just hit restart and fucking

41:09

go, which is something you can't do in the real world.

41:12

And I thought it was kind of bittersweet that they went with

41:14

that in the movie as well, where older Barry

41:16

at one point goes,

41:17

this world dies today, no

41:19

matter what we do.

41:21

And fucking younger Barry wouldn't accept it and has apparently

41:23

spent fucking time in memorial trying

41:26

to go back and fucking write it, and write

41:28

it, and write it, and couldn't do it the entire time. I

41:30

thought that was kind of dope.

41:32

Watching, I thought Supergirl was wonderful,

41:34

but my god, I was shocked when they,

41:36

spoilers,

41:38

deep spoilers, killed her off, and then

41:40

killed her off, and then kept fucking killing

41:42

her off and shit. I was like, there goes

41:44

that franchise. But

41:47

I kind of got what they were going for, man. And

41:50

then the really

41:52

bittersweet piece was watching my

41:55

Batman die, he came back, and then I

41:57

had to watch him die twice. My only complaint is...

41:59

I wish they would have let him die a third time

42:02

because I'll watch

42:03

Michael Keaton go out heroically

42:06

as many times as they want if they wanted to do two

42:08

hours of Michael Keaton Batman dying and

42:11

Saying something bittersweet each time I would have

42:13

been there for it and shit I thought it was really a

42:15

wonderful you can make that cut for yourself. Thanks

42:18

to your it's on my fucking phone Just fucking

42:20

loop it. I didn't I didn't shoot that

42:22

part. I shot him kicking ass. I think you

42:24

got opportunity I will I'm gonna go back and shoot

42:26

the whole thing and cut my version of the movie. I'm Barry

42:28

Allen now I'm gonna right the wrongs in the past

42:33

It was You know watching him

42:35

fly to batwing

42:36

into the fucking plane where he couldn't get out

42:38

and shit and he Flies into

42:40

it and the kamikaze style was was

42:43

you know, like yeah, that seems like a Batman thing to do I

42:45

thought it was badass as fuck though where he's fighting

42:47

the space giant He just keeps putting bombs on

42:49

him and finally his fucking head blows up and

42:52

that's when he's fucking, you know Falls to the

42:54

ground and shit and then the flash

42:56

is, you know Holding him and talking to him and

42:58

he's like, you know, he says I

43:01

can't bring you back Can you can I and

43:03

he's like you already did kid like oh,

43:06

come

43:06

on, man You gotta be a fucking robot not

43:08

to be touched by that shit

43:10

fuck I Loved

43:14

it. I love that moment and stuff when

43:17

Barry has to face the inevitability of

43:19

like all of this was my fault

43:21

by a fucking his Tony Stark moment

43:23

that he created all This by making

43:25

a choice and sticking a can

43:27

of tomatoes in a cart.

43:29

I like that scene I thought I was strong when he went

43:31

back and saw his mom Somebody asked

43:33

me in one of the Q&A's I did at smog

43:35

castle Like do you think his mom knew it was him

43:38

and

43:38

I was like, I don't think that's what they were playing

43:40

for in the movie

43:42

I said, but it'd be hard not to know it

43:44

said he takes she takes his fucking glasses off

43:46

at one point looks exactly like her Son, but

43:49

you know, she just was like being

43:51

kind to a stranger and shit like that I

43:53

thought that scene was effective, you know made

43:55

me glass up

43:57

and then you know him Young

44:01

Barry kind of

44:03

sacrificing himself, which is what kills

44:06

old, old, old Barry made sense.

44:09

And then Barry

44:11

running back through time, fixing

44:13

things, coming back to a present where

44:15

it's not, you know, the PS to the whole fucking

44:18

movie is the joke

44:20

button, is a Batman

44:22

gets out of the car. And Ernie,

44:25

Smog Castle keeper, Ernie O'Donnell is my

44:27

partner in Smog Castle. Along

44:30

with Ashley and Jeff Swan. They

44:32

went to see it at CinemaCon.

44:35

Well, I was supposed to go with him, but that's when my mom got

44:37

sick and stuff, so I couldn't go. Ernie said

44:39

that was the moment the movie ended. As soon as the door

44:41

opened and a foot came out of the car,

44:43

they cut it.

44:44

And he was like, I think they were trying to surprise,

44:47

keep the surprise hidden. I

44:49

think there's a world where they hadn't shot

44:51

that until like fucking two weeks ago.

44:54

Like it feels like they were like, it

44:56

could be anybody. And I'm sure they were asking

44:58

Christian Bale for like months and months, hoping

45:00

that he'd break down. And he was like, no. So

45:03

they're like, all right, let's pivot. Let's do another

45:05

Batman. And they just grabbed George Clooney, which was

45:07

kind of fun and funny and

45:10

cute and stuff like that. So

45:12

I watched the movie four fucking times, enjoyed

45:15

it four fucking times. Yeah.

45:20

Yes. Visual

45:23

reference.

45:25

And I'll watch it again a couple

45:27

more times.

45:29

You know, I'm a comic book movie

45:32

fan. I'm not discerning kids.

45:33

If you ever want to hear an intelligent

45:36

take on this shit, or fucking, you

45:38

know, critical take on this shit,

45:42

I hope by now you understand that

45:44

it's never going to come from me. It

45:47

will generally come from the man to

45:49

my left. It'll

45:50

never be me. It'll never be me.

45:52

No,

45:53

I like it too much. I

45:55

grew up in an era without all this shit. To have

45:57

a movie like this, you know, And

46:00

of course online a bunch of people are

46:02

like, well Ezra's problematic. And

46:05

I thought I was going to have to be asked that

46:07

question when I went to the premiere. But Warner

46:10

Brothers made it a red carpet where it was just

46:12

photos only and nobody with a microphone

46:14

and shit. But if somebody had asked me, I would have said, look,

46:17

I went crazy recently. And I went to a mental

46:19

health facility. And not once did I ever see

46:21

Ezra Miller comment on it. So I'm not going to comment

46:23

on Ezra Miller's mental health

46:26

issues and whatnot. There

46:28

are people that make these movies. Some

46:30

of them aren't like golden shining paragons

46:33

of virtue and whatnot. So I kind of

46:35

left that at the door. And

46:37

I'm sorry if that makes me a bad person and stuff.

46:39

But I went in to watch the movie. And

46:41

I watched the movie many, many times.

46:45

I enjoyed it, man. I'm

46:47

not going to raise something up

46:50

or lower something to raise something up. But

46:53

I enjoyed it more than some comic book

46:55

movies I've seen more recently. I

46:59

hoped that it would do a bunch

47:01

of fucking money. I don't have skin in the game.

47:04

I'm not one of those people that's like, I

47:06

root for a movie to make money. Or even

47:08

worse, I root for a movie not to make money. There

47:10

were a bunch of people online who were rooting for this movie

47:13

to fail actively. I hope it flops

47:15

and shit. I was hoping

47:17

that it did better than it did, or at least

47:19

great.

47:21

Because Michael Ouzland's kid

47:23

said that

47:24

Michael Ouzland, Benjamin

47:27

Melnick, are the two guys whose names have been on

47:29

every Batman movie

47:31

and animated film. Because

47:35

Michael Ouzland went and got the rights from Warner Brothers

47:38

years and years ago. I'm sure most people have seen him

47:40

on Batman extras and whatnot. Wonderful guy. Lives

47:42

in Jersey. But I saw his kid at the premiere.

47:45

And his kid was just like, I said, where's your dad? He

47:47

goes, he's home watching The Grocers. And

47:49

I said, why? And he goes, because if this movie does as

47:52

well as The Batman, and the Batman,

47:54

Matt Reeves' The Batman, opened at $130 million.

47:57

So he goes, if this movie opens as well as The Batmen,

47:59

Batman, one of the next Batman

48:02

movies they're going to make is Batman Beyond

48:04

with Michael Keaton. So I

48:06

was like, oh my God, now

48:09

I hope the movie makes a lot of money. Based

48:11

on Last Weekend, we're never going to see that Batman

48:13

Beyond movie with Michael Keaton.

48:16

So it's kind of a damn shame. Now,

48:18

you know, don't weep for

48:20

Andy Muschetti. They've announced that he's going to

48:22

make the next Batman movie, which

48:25

is The Brave and the Bold. So clearly,

48:27

you know, they think that he's a talent. I

48:29

think he is too. I thought the movie was enjoyable

48:31

as fuck.

48:32

So

48:33

I was there for The Flash,

48:36

man, four fucking times. And I'll be there a couple more

48:38

times as well.

48:39

It was a good time.

48:42

Here we go. Oh,

48:47

man.

48:54

I love a blood sport, you guys.

48:56

This is great. Take her

48:58

down, Mark. Take her down. Here's

49:01

what I will say.

49:03

I love Michael Keaton. I thought he was

49:05

great. I loved Sasha

49:07

Kaile. I'm not sure he pronounced

49:09

her last name. He played Supergirl. She's amazing.

49:12

Like every scene she's in, she holds it down.

49:15

Once you get to the Michael Keaton

49:18

shows up and it becomes a superhero movie, I'm like,

49:20

all right, this is fun enough. I love

49:22

the fact that Michael Shannon is like, what are we doing? Great.

49:26

Zodigan? Fine. I

49:29

don't really want to be here, but you're paying me, so I'll fucking put this shit on again

49:31

and then I'm going to shit on it every chance

49:33

I get. He did. He did kind

49:35

of talk about it where he was like, well, look, in

49:38

Man of Steel,

49:39

I got to dive into a character. He's

49:41

like, here, they told me where to stand and told

49:44

me what to say. And he said it was more like being an

49:46

action figure, something he was like being played with as

49:48

an action figure, which I kind of get. Michael Shannon is

49:51

a legit fucking actor, one of the greatest

49:53

actors of his generation and stuff. This

49:56

movie, while it was fun to see him in the suit,

49:58

didn't really allow him to.

49:59

to act as much as he

50:02

is gifted to do so. Indeed. So

50:05

much of this movie rides on two

50:07

things. It rides on your

50:09

being gobsmacked by slow

50:12

motion, supposing to be fast motion. And

50:16

twice the Ezra Miller you thought you were going to get. I

50:20

don't have a ton of patience for either, only

50:22

because I've seen the former quite a bit. And

50:25

I am not as enchanted by Ezra Miller as

50:27

some people might be.

50:28

For various reasons, and

50:31

it seems the audience is not that enchanted

50:33

with them either. Um.

50:36

He

50:40

just got that.

50:44

But here was my problem with it. Like

50:47

too much of the movie is Back to

50:49

the Future with way too much of the shittiest McFly.

50:51

Namely, it's Back to the Future 2. And

50:55

it's the like, that's fucking low, man.

50:58

It's the hablas, oh gosh, dad, I'm home.

51:00

What are we up for dinner, old pizza? Ah,

51:03

man, I want it. It's

51:05

that for an hour. And that's

51:07

a bit too much of that for me.

51:09

And while I'm

51:11

here for a guy who just wants to

51:13

see his mom again, I

51:15

didn't understand

51:17

how his mom being alive,

51:19

a lovely white lady from

51:21

suburbs, suddenly

51:24

means that Superman is dead. I

51:27

couldn't connect those dots. Not only the Superman

51:29

is dead, but he was dead before his

51:31

mother would have been killed.

51:33

Right?

51:34

Like that's the chronology.

51:36

Like by the time he saves his mom,

51:38

he's eight, right? He's a younger

51:41

person than fucking Superman is.

51:43

Yeah. Or 12, however old he's supposed

51:45

to be.

51:46

Clark Kent would have already landed on Earth.

51:49

Oh my god, you're right. And so. And.

51:52

That's a good idea. That's a good idea. He

51:54

talks about something split like

51:56

an X. No.

52:00

Again you can't... Oh, it's

52:02

the spaghetti excuse. ASO

52:04

is... What you're

52:07

missing at home, kids, front camera please.

52:09

What you're missing at home is... You can be Latino and

52:11

white, you know.

52:13

Okay, welcome Spain. Would you like to talk

52:15

to Spain? They're all white people in Spain. FYI,

52:18

they're European. There's a whole

52:20

internet. Hey, happy Juneteenth, you guys. That

52:23

doesn't know what's going on. Anyway,

52:26

yes. The audience argument was, the

52:28

spaghetti argument is what negates

52:30

what Mark just said. Yeah, except

52:33

again,

52:34

it's one quote unquote

52:36

white lady in the suburbs who

52:39

is somehow involved with her

52:41

death

52:42

with interstellar events. Like that is

52:44

not a butterfly effect that I can fucking

52:46

buy, by spaghetti. So...

52:52

She was Spanish. She was

52:54

Spanish? Excellent, thank

52:57

you. Yeah,

53:03

Mark, she was Spanish. That explains

53:05

everything. Look, I'll buy

53:07

that. I'll take that. So,

53:10

like, I just... Once the

53:12

movie stopped being about Barry

53:14

and his mom, because it does stop being about

53:16

Barry and his mom, it becomes, oh, Zod is going

53:18

to destroy the planet.

53:21

Then I'm less interested in it, because

53:23

I was here for the story of a kid who

53:25

wants to have his mom back.

53:27

Or a kid who maybe wants to find out

53:29

who kills his mom, which he doesn't seem at

53:31

all concerned with at all. Like,

53:34

should I stop the guy who's murdered my mom? Nah,

53:36

I'm about this tomato life, yo. So

53:39

I gotta put this fucking can on. I

53:41

gotta make sure she's got it in the cart, so

53:43

she still dies, but maybe a little later

53:45

though. But I could stop it from ever

53:47

happening.

53:48

Nah. Should I find

53:50

out who it is? Nah. I

53:54

didn't bump into that. But

53:56

you're absolutely right. Like,

53:59

here's why.

53:59

Here's why I know logically they didn't touch it, because

54:02

Andy Machete said in the sequel, it

54:04

was all going to be the reverse flash.

54:06

So that's why they didn't address it in this

54:08

movie. But what did you say out

54:11

in the alleyway beforehand? I don't remember.

54:14

I said that tomorrow. I was like, well,

54:16

Andy Machete said that that's what they were going to do in the

54:18

sequel. Don't set the table for tomorrow

54:20

when you're cooking a meal today. Yeah. Like,

54:23

you may never get to tomorrow, so

54:26

make the movie that answers his questions. At

54:28

the very least, tell me why he doesn't care,

54:31

because he doesn't at all. And his magic

54:33

solution for this is I'm going to put these fucking cans

54:36

up on the top shelf, just so my dad

54:38

can suddenly like, his face can be on

54:40

the screen, I can spring them from jail. As opposed

54:43

to, hey,

54:43

coppers, here's the guy who killed

54:46

my mom. I guess that would

54:48

have made a lot more sense. But

54:50

that's OK. We're all about restocking shelves.

54:52

So. Ha, ha, ha, ha. So

54:56

how did they get that far without somebody pointing that

54:58

out? I mean, apparently there's 98 versions

55:00

of this movie, and maybe it had been something that had been there

55:03

before, and they went a different way. And

55:05

all these movies have these sort of vestigial limbs

55:07

that maybe get sutured and maybe don't. Maybe

55:10

that was one of them. I'm not sure. But it just felt as if

55:12

a dude who works in

55:14

literally the police fucking crime

55:17

investigative unit

55:18

is never like, I wonder who that was? Who

55:22

like shanked my mom.

55:23

I know. I never thought

55:25

of that. And so when

55:28

it decides it needs to have Supergirl, when

55:30

it decides it needs to have, I don't even mind Batman,

55:32

because Batman is a fucking detective. Should be the guy to say,

55:34

hey, Barry, who killed your mom?

55:36

Maybe we should do that.

55:39

Wouldn't that be great if we figured out who that is? But

55:41

they needed to have an end of the world.

55:43

They needed to have some giant pulse

55:45

here. Wait, you're saying Batman should have asked that question? Yeah. Don't

55:49

attack Michael Keaton Batman. He's

55:53

fucking infallible. He's like the Pope. He's

55:55

the Pope. I'm

55:57

not sure how infallible the Pope is.

55:59

Um, listen, I didn't hate

56:03

this movie at all. I put

56:05

that on a poster. I mean, that is

56:07

my standard, like, I

56:11

didn't hate this movie. Two

56:14

thumbs kinda to the side. Ahh! Meh,

56:20

says Mark Bernardin.

56:24

It's a little mid, but

56:26

it just, it, emotionally

56:29

it didn't really hold together because it kept taking its eye

56:31

off the ball, which is, here's the guy that just

56:33

wants to save his mom. And when they engage

56:35

with that, it's actually very touching.

56:38

And that scene at the very end, where he gets the last

56:40

moment with his mom and gets to hug

56:42

her, like, it's adorable and

56:44

wonderful. And it rolls a tear because of course it does.

56:47

But

56:48

I just,

56:49

I didn't care about Zod.

56:51

You know, I didn't care about that whole thing. I

56:53

didn't care about living in, apparently, that

56:56

fucking ship, the world engine, is to

56:58

the DC universe, what the blip was

57:00

to Marvel.

57:01

Which is like, guys, I've kind of had about

57:04

enough of this. Is there another story

57:06

we can tell that is not about this? And

57:09

it seems as if that answer is not quite.

57:11

Or at least not yet. I'm hoping that

57:13

James Gunn, in his vast array

57:15

of movies that he wants to make, is less concerned

57:18

with a world engine and Zod than this

57:20

movie was.

57:21

And I always have troubles

57:23

with a movie where it wants to be static. The goal

57:26

of this movie is to return to the status quo. Which

57:29

is actually kind of... It's very much Wizard of Oz

57:31

like that. And as much as like, Dorothy starts

57:33

in a place, goes on a magical adventure and

57:35

ends in the same fucking place. And this movie

57:38

was the same thing. Like, somebody asked me at the Q&A,

57:40

at Smogcast, over the weekend, like, how does

57:42

this affect the DC universe going forward? I was like, not really at all. Kind

57:46

of doesn't. And how does it affect Barry

57:48

Allen going forward? Not much. Do you think he's

57:50

now trapped in a pocket universe, though?

57:53

Sure? The spaghetti-verse? Where

57:57

everything is possible in this little bowl? And

58:00

I was like, I can't have all these Batman. Okay.

58:03

And why are there different Batman and not different flashes?

58:06

Like, it's always the weird multiverse thing where

58:08

it's like, listen, you guys, we wanna have

58:11

like a bunch of different Spider-Men,

58:13

but also we went to multiverses and

58:16

it's the same Doctor Strange and all these multiverses.

58:18

So why is that? How, why are these

58:20

rules so odd and different? Like there's 19

58:22

Batman, but there's never the same Batman.

58:25

BAM. BAM.

58:28

Yeah. Hey, Batman's here, give it up for Batman.

58:30

BAM. He'll

58:33

tell us what to do. Just

58:36

because we've been lucky to have 19 different

58:39

Batman that we can put in a movie,

58:41

but Benedict Cumberbatch is the only Doctor

58:43

Strange. It's like a real world

58:46

problem. Except you

58:48

could a hundred percent cast a bunch of pale British

58:50

dudes to also be Doctor Strange. Like

58:53

that's cheap. BBC's

58:55

got him on speed dial.

58:56

So, so like, I don't

58:59

know. I kept on wondering why there's no Linda Carter.

59:04

Yeah. You know, like if you're gonna show me the

59:06

parade of various people in various universes,

59:10

fucking Linda Carter, yo. That's true. You

59:12

know, where's Michelle Pfeiffer? Like, where's,

59:15

where's, like that Michael

59:17

Keaton Batman did not have a story of his

59:19

own.

59:19

His story is entirely Barry's story, except

59:22

for when he says, I had to lose my parents because

59:24

his parents got to die, I guess. And like,

59:26

but what does he want? What's his regret?

59:29

And you fucking got Michelle Pfeiffer, who's still alive

59:32

and still acting and still hot as fuck. Like,

59:34

give me a scene with Selena

59:36

Kyle and Bruce Wayne where he regrets fucking

59:39

that up because he was an asshole. Like,

59:42

do the thing, do the job, guys.

59:44

So listen, hey, if you love this movie, I'm

59:47

so glad you love this movie. If you like this

59:49

movie, hooray for you.

59:51

It made $55 million this opening weekend, which

59:54

is worse than Black Adam. Yeah, that was really bad. They

59:56

were original estimates a month,

59:59

two months ago.

59:59

It was going to open 140 million. Then

1:00:02

they readjusted last month or when it went

1:00:04

up on tracking to say, like, it's

1:00:06

not going to do that much. We're hoping to get

1:00:08

to 90 or something. Then that number kept

1:00:10

coming down. Even on Sunday

1:00:13

night, they were saying,

1:00:15

or Saturday and Sunday, they were projecting 60

1:00:20

with another 10 on Juneteenth,

1:00:24

which a lot of people were like, why do you suddenly

1:00:26

think it's going to make 10 million on Juneteenth?

1:00:29

Because of all the black people in the movie. One.

1:00:31

Kind

1:00:35

of. Like,

1:00:38

Iris West is barely a character in this movie.

1:00:41

I even forgot she was in the movie. And somebody was like, no,

1:00:43

no, it's freaking Kirsty Clemens is there. I was like, oh, that's

1:00:45

right. So he was never

1:00:47

making like $10 million. No. And so now

1:00:50

it's as of today, they talked about

1:00:52

like, what did it do? It

1:00:54

did 55 for the three days. And then I think

1:00:57

another six, so 61. So

1:01:00

that's definitely less than Black Adam,

1:01:02

definitely less than.

1:01:07

Well, Black Adam was their bar because

1:01:09

they were going like, it's got to do better than Black Adam

1:01:11

because Black Adam was considered a tank.

1:01:14

And so if it doesn't, then

1:01:16

my god, what is this considered?

1:01:18

I haven't seen anyone call it a flat out flop, but

1:01:21

they are saying it's a huge disappointment. It

1:01:23

is. And

1:01:24

nobody's really sure why. There's

1:01:27

a lot of Monday morning quarterbacking. There's a lot of second

1:01:29

guessing. There's a lot of was

1:01:31

it the fact that you didn't have a star

1:01:34

who was going to do press?

1:01:36

Or even if you had a star that could do

1:01:38

press, which they were wise not to

1:01:41

do that, because of the writer's

1:01:43

guilt strike, there were no late night shows either. There's no

1:01:45

late night shows. And nobody knows how much magazine

1:01:48

covers or online stories put butts

1:01:50

in seats. It's unclear. It's unclear

1:01:52

how much the audience just didn't want to fuck

1:01:54

with Ezra Miller.

1:01:56

That story. It's

1:01:58

a big part of it. That story. His story,

1:02:01

their stories, excuse me,

1:02:03

I have to remember, I'm a 51 year old person who's still

1:02:05

getting used to things. Their stories

1:02:08

have been public and have been proliferating

1:02:10

through the internet for a good long while. People

1:02:13

know who they are,

1:02:14

they know what they did. And so

1:02:16

whether those things get exonerated,

1:02:19

whether he's indemnified, whether he's whatever those

1:02:21

things, whether they are getting the

1:02:23

help that they need in going through treatment and will emerge

1:02:25

a different person and a better person. All

1:02:27

of that is on the table, but the public perception is

1:02:29

maybe not this guy

1:02:31

slash person. Still

1:02:33

getting there.

1:02:35

And so I don't know, those are all open questions. It

1:02:38

is entirely possible that the $50 million they

1:02:41

hoped they were going to make extra on top of this

1:02:43

for the Flash could have been spent reshooting

1:02:45

the Flash with a different person.

1:02:50

I'm just saying, it was always

1:02:52

there, you guys. It was always an

1:02:55

option you had. We found out why they didn't

1:02:57

because they'd shot not just one movie with

1:02:59

Ezra Miller, but two Ezra Miller movies

1:03:01

essentially, because Ezra played two parts.

1:03:04

Got paid twice even. Yeah, he got paid

1:03:06

twice according to my kid.

1:03:08

So listen,

1:03:10

that's that. Again, if you dug the

1:03:12

Flash, I'm happy for you. I'm always happy if you dig a movie.

1:03:15

It didn't work for me on a couple of different levels, some

1:03:17

of which were just emotional, some of which were the

1:03:19

plot didn't quite crank out for me the

1:03:21

way I hoped it would. Nostalgia

1:03:24

only ever goes but so far.

1:03:26

Not for me, man. Nostalgia,

1:03:31

that's all you need. You don't even need a plot or

1:03:33

good acting or good

1:03:36

CG. If it's just a pure fucking

1:03:38

shot of nostalgia to my heart, man, I'm

1:03:40

like, oh, this is the best. But

1:03:43

again, I'm not known for my discerning taste

1:03:45

and shit. I did make yoga hosers.

1:03:50

Can I have this shit? Banff? Hey,

1:03:52

Banff, man, welcome back. So there's

1:03:55

a rolling back to who played

1:03:58

the J. Garrett Flash.

1:03:59

No answers. There are a

1:04:02

lot of people think it's Teddy

1:04:04

Sears. Teddy Sears has said

1:04:06

it's not Teddy Sears. And

1:04:09

so. Teddy Sears has said it's not

1:04:11

Teddy Sears. It is not. There's a lot of outlets

1:04:13

that are saying it is, but it is not.

1:04:15

But Teddy Sears has said it's not Teddy

1:04:18

Sears. So

1:04:22

the internet, so the, the

1:04:26

consensus on the internet and

1:04:28

Will Wilkins sent this as well,

1:04:30

who's watching at home. Dilfman.

1:04:33

Is that,

1:04:35

that it's a generic CG

1:04:37

representation of the comic book

1:04:39

character, that there's no actual

1:04:42

actor. So nobody played him? Yeah.

1:04:45

Uh-oh. Welcome to the future

1:04:47

actors. This is what it's going to be for you guys. Flat

1:04:50

GPT. So

1:04:55

what did you think, Banffman? I

1:05:01

lost my mom a handful of years

1:05:03

ago. And so a guy doing whatever

1:05:05

it takes, including ruining all

1:05:08

the spaghetti verses to spend

1:05:10

a couple extra minutes with his mom just worked

1:05:12

for me. And I didn't need anything

1:05:15

else

1:05:16

motivating. And then Michael Keaton showed up

1:05:18

and I was just in the bag

1:05:20

for the rest of the movie. It didn't matter. I

1:05:23

was there. I thought that

1:05:27

the motivation for Barry

1:05:29

to ruin the multiverse

1:05:32

was much better than the reasons

1:05:35

for

1:05:36

Dr. Strange to ruin the multiverse

1:05:38

in two movies. Wow.

1:05:43

It's like Peter Parker just wants to go to college.

1:05:45

So let's screw everything up.

1:05:48

Like at least I get Barry going after

1:05:51

his mom. You got balls, dude. The

1:05:53

internet's going to come for you hard. They

1:05:56

love seeing all them Spider-Men.

1:05:59

No disrespect whatsoever,

1:06:02

but like, when Tobey

1:06:04

Maguire showed up in No Way Home, I wasn't

1:06:07

crying and shit because I didn't have

1:06:09

an emotional attachment

1:06:11

to Tobey Maguire as Spider-Man like I do

1:06:14

to Michael Keaton as Batman. That being

1:06:16

said, I understand people's

1:06:18

emotional attachment to Tobey Maguire

1:06:20

as Spider-Man. Like, fucking the theater I

1:06:22

saw it in, people were like, ah! Like,

1:06:25

Christ returned to Jerusalem and shit. So

1:06:28

I get it.

1:06:30

But, you know, for me, that's

1:06:33

how I felt about seeing Michael

1:06:35

Keaton return. It was like, holy shit,

1:06:38

he's here. I can't believe it and stuff. So

1:06:40

internet being what it is, the internet, fucking

1:06:43

internet's all day long,

1:06:45

for you to fucking come at

1:06:47

Tobey Maguire in any way, shape, or form,

1:06:49

all I'm saying is like, you should have somebody accompany

1:06:52

you to your car when you leave here tonight.

1:06:55

I love Tobey Maguire, Spider-Man. That's

1:06:57

my Spider-Man.

1:06:59

I just don't

1:07:01

quite understand why

1:07:04

Doctor Strange risked

1:07:07

everything to get Zendaya

1:07:10

into Harvard. I

1:07:14

know exactly why. Fucking

1:07:17

Kevin Feige wanted it that way.

1:07:21

Which we saw in She-Hulk, they explained

1:07:23

it. Yeah, exactly, exactly. Just F-E-I-G.

1:07:29

Yeah, so that's it, man. The

1:07:31

Flash. Wow.

1:07:39

Let me tell you, one of the

1:07:41

things about that movie was watching,

1:07:44

like, you know, we've seen Michael Keaton Batman

1:07:46

stand next to Catwoman. We've seen Michael

1:07:49

Keaton Batman stand next to The Joker, stand

1:07:51

next to Penguin. So we've seen him

1:07:53

amongst comic book villains. That's the

1:07:55

first time you ever got to see him standing next

1:07:57

to a comic book hero. So seeing him in the

1:07:59

same...

1:07:59

frame with the Flash and Supergirl

1:08:02

just like did something for me. It reminded me of

1:08:04

the TV guide cover from

1:08:06

when I was a kid where they put up the

1:08:09

image of Michael Keaton Batman next to the

1:08:11

image of Christopher Reeve next to the image

1:08:13

of John Wesley's ship as the Flash. And

1:08:15

that was like as close as you were ever going to get

1:08:18

to seeing Michael Keaton Batman standing

1:08:20

next to another hero and shit. So

1:08:22

seeing them like go down the hallway together

1:08:24

when they were like leaving Russia and

1:08:27

one guy comes in and fucking Michael

1:08:29

Keaton Batman goes like this and he doesn't flinch

1:08:31

and he goes like that. It was

1:08:34

just dope man watching them fucking fight

1:08:36

side by side was really cool. For

1:08:39

some reason

1:08:40

that was something I was not expecting that would

1:08:43

please me. I would have been content to

1:08:45

just watch a one man show of Michael Keaton

1:08:47

Batman. But seeing him stand next

1:08:49

to the Flash in costume, his fucking

1:08:52

dark costume versus the Flash's very

1:08:54

bright costume

1:08:55

just was a happy place for me a

1:08:58

few times that it happened in the movie.

1:09:01

Yeah. Watching him

1:09:03

help the Flash try to become the Flash

1:09:07

with a bat kite was

1:09:12

my happy place. I don't

1:09:14

know who made the choice that he should wear so many neckerchiefs

1:09:17

though man. Very

1:09:19

thirsting howl of the form. Really heavy.

1:09:22

They're like how do you dress a billionaire? Oh I know

1:09:24

a neckerchief. I

1:09:26

guess that seems a lot like back to

1:09:28

the future. Like you were talking back that is back

1:09:30

to the future isn't it? They just made put

1:09:33

little back to the future in the middle of them to the

1:09:35

future. Yeah. Bad. Nice.

1:09:38

Nice. Let's see what you did there. A

1:09:41

dad joke the day after

1:09:43

Father's Day. Well done. That's

1:09:47

my secret cap. I'm always dad

1:09:49

joking.

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Alright so I have not seen

1:13:58

the Schumacher cut yet. So

1:14:02

tell me about it. Let me tell you about the secret

1:14:05

origins of the Schumacher.

1:14:07

Ooh, very nice. So we were

1:14:09

at Smog Castle

1:14:11

cinemas. I don't know if I ever mentioned this,

1:14:13

but I own a movie theater. Where

1:14:16

is it? In New Jersey, Atlantic Highlands, New

1:14:18

Jersey. So we were doing,

1:14:20

before all the screenings that I attend were

1:14:23

the functions that I'm involved in,

1:14:25

we do auctions of fucking

1:14:27

science stuff, of rare props, like

1:14:29

costume pieces, just whatever I've

1:14:31

got to augment what

1:14:34

we pull in at the theater. Because

1:14:36

film exhibition is a dying

1:14:39

fucking medium right now. We bought

1:14:41

a movie theater at the worst fucking time to buy a movie

1:14:43

theater. So in order to keep the lights on,

1:14:45

pay the staff and shit like that, we

1:14:48

tend to do these auctions. So

1:14:51

what was I auctioning?

1:14:55

It was the Jersey Girl test scores. So I

1:14:57

had a packet of test scores

1:15:00

from Jersey Girl for the first

1:15:02

three or four screenings or something like that.

1:15:05

And I held onto these, I'm a pack

1:15:07

rat, I'm a hoarder, they could put me on that

1:15:09

show. And I hold onto shit forever. And

1:15:11

so that night I was like, oh, somebody go fucking

1:15:14

buy this and stuff. So some of them

1:15:16

went for real money, man. Somebody bought one of them

1:15:18

for like 250 bucks.

1:15:19

Which was awesome, because it was like, that bought my pain

1:15:22

away from me. Because these test scores, they

1:15:24

were not fucking positive and shit. But one

1:15:26

of them was the first test that

1:15:28

changed the fucking movie that made us take

1:15:31

out all the Jennifer Lopez and stuff

1:15:33

like that. So there were historical documents, man.

1:15:35

Not so much that Nick Cage would go hunting for

1:15:38

them one day and shit, but definitely

1:15:40

for like a movie buff. So my man,

1:15:42

what is your name again?

1:15:44

So Joe Black

1:15:46

is there at the screening. Joe Black

1:15:48

lives, you live out here, correct Joe? Joe

1:15:50

lives out here, but he went back east for

1:15:52

other things or just to see Jersey Girl? What?

1:15:56

I know, fucking give it up for me. Travel the fucking

1:15:58

world.

1:16:02

Like Michael Shannon, he crossed

1:16:04

an ocean of stars to fucking

1:16:06

get to kill this infant. Yes.

1:16:09

To get to Smog Castle to watch the Jersey

1:16:11

Girl, the Snyder Cut. We call it the longest

1:16:13

cut of Jersey Girl there ever was. So we're

1:16:15

doing the auction, auctioning off the test scores.

1:16:18

And during the auctions, it becomes an auction

1:16:20

sometimes. People bid against each other. It gets

1:16:22

real fun and shit.

1:16:24

So Joe at one point was

1:16:26

bidding and he bid a number. I'm just going

1:16:28

to say like a hundred bucks. But then he threw

1:16:30

in, he goes a hundred dollars

1:16:32

and the Schumacher

1:16:35

cut of Batman Forever. And

1:16:37

I was like, what the fuck?

1:16:41

Are you serious? And he was like, so

1:16:43

a lot of fuck.

1:16:44

What is it? 69 bucks.

1:16:46

It was so wow.

1:16:49

Perfect joke. The sexiest number there was

1:16:51

and Schumacher cut a Batman Forever. So a lot of people online

1:16:54

for the last two weeks since we spoke about it or

1:16:56

last month when we spoke about it on the last

1:16:58

streamed version of Fat Man Beyond, they're

1:17:00

like, Kevin Smith's got the fucking cut. He has

1:17:02

inside connections and shit.

1:17:04

Joe has inside connections.

1:17:07

He just got a copy and he was fucking kind enough

1:17:10

to throw it in. And so I was like, bam, I'll fucking take

1:17:12

that all day long.

1:17:13

So I got the cut from Joe. Joe

1:17:16

got it from someplace else and we'll leave that there.

1:17:19

You're not on camera, so you're all fucking good at shit. You

1:17:21

don't care. Joe's like, fucking show

1:17:24

my face. Come on up. Show me your fucking

1:17:26

face real quick. This is our hero right here, kids.

1:17:28

Give it up for meet Joe Black right there.

1:17:32

Yeah, go behind J.C. He

1:17:35

keeps dodging every time. Give

1:17:38

a look. Do the Banff Man cam and let's get

1:17:40

a little background on this Banff. This is Joe

1:17:42

Black, everybody. And to the home audience, everybody

1:17:45

meet Joe Black. Joe Black, everybody.

1:17:48

For the folks who are like, oh my God, fucking Kevin

1:17:50

Smith will save us on the Schumacher cut. This

1:17:53

is not Kevin Smith. Joe did it. What

1:17:56

is your background

1:17:57

history with this? I got to see

1:17:59

a special screen. of it somewhere and I

1:18:01

acquired it afterward. I actually tried

1:18:03

to take footage from the 4K release

1:18:06

of it and like put that over it, because a lot of it's still

1:18:08

in there. But after like doing that for like a month,

1:18:10

I got tired and I was like, it's fine.

1:18:12

It is, it's utterly watchable. That's the

1:18:15

first thing I'll say is like, for

1:18:18

a fucking bootleg cut on a thumb drive

1:18:20

and shit,

1:18:21

it looks like it was taken off the avid

1:18:23

in 1995. It's dated because

1:18:25

the movie goes back that far. But like,

1:18:28

it looks like it's

1:18:30

utterly watchable. Is it pristine?

1:18:33

Like, no, it doesn't look like

1:18:36

the flash looked like this weekend. But

1:18:39

can you, especially if you've seen this movie a bunch

1:18:41

and I've seen Batman forever many times, is

1:18:44

it utterly watchable? Absolutely.

1:18:46

Now I thought it was a clean cut. What was interesting about

1:18:48

it to

1:18:49

me, aside from like all the

1:18:51

added material, was it was

1:18:53

at a point in the movie's

1:18:55

life where they had the Batman

1:18:58

March by Elliot Goldenfall, which

1:19:00

they reused a couple of times, but the rest

1:19:03

of it was temp scored

1:19:04

with Tim, with Danny Elfman's

1:19:08

Batman and Batman Return score,

1:19:10

as well as other movies. So when you're- I

1:19:12

had like Interview with the Vampire music in it. There was Interview

1:19:14

with the Vampire. Is that what it was from? Yeah. Because

1:19:17

I heard a lot of that shit. I was like, sounds familiar. When you're

1:19:19

cutting a movie together, you obviously, the last

1:19:21

thing you get to put onto a movie is the

1:19:23

score, right? So if you're dealing

1:19:25

with characters that have been in a movie prior

1:19:28

to that,

1:19:28

you could use the previous score from other movies.

1:19:30

For example, when I was cutting together Jane's Silent

1:19:33

Bob reboot, I was using

1:19:35

Jim Venable's score from Jane's Silent Bob Strike

1:19:37

Back. And then he came in and created

1:19:39

the new score once the movie was cut. So

1:19:42

at this stage in the movie's life,

1:19:44

before they started getting in there

1:19:46

and hacking shit out, how

1:19:48

long was this cut? It's not that

1:19:51

much longer. It's like two and a half. It's like two

1:19:53

hours and 35 minutes. Yeah, I saw people

1:19:55

on the internet going, it's a free hour cut of the movie. I'm like,

1:19:57

not really, but there was definitely extra stuff

1:19:59

in.

1:19:59

But it was at a point in

1:20:02

this movie's life where

1:20:03

they must have shown it, they must

1:20:05

have tested it, either showed it to movie execs

1:20:08

back in, because this is 95, this fucker came out,

1:20:10

or test screened it and

1:20:12

then decided right then and there, we're

1:20:15

gonna start bringing it in. Which

1:20:17

I don't think it was conspiracy, I've read a lot

1:20:19

of people online talking about how could they keep this

1:20:22

movie down.

1:20:23

The version I saw, and you backed me up,

1:20:25

feels like it was just cut for commercial

1:20:28

considerations, that's it. Yeah,

1:20:30

I mean, he doesn't Batman in

1:20:32

this for the first 15 minutes, the

1:20:34

whole bit with the Riddler meeting him,

1:20:37

that's how the movie starts after

1:20:39

a Jon Favreau cameo.

1:20:41

That's right, Jon Favreau's in it, which I don't

1:20:43

know if he was in the theatrical cut.

1:20:46

Just as Jon Favreau? No,

1:20:48

as an interesting Jon Favreau

1:20:51

from Swingers. He plays Bruce's

1:20:54

fucking... He just works for him, he's trying

1:20:56

to close his door before the end. He's

1:20:58

not Happy Hogan?

1:21:00

No, but it's crazy though, he has

1:21:03

lines and shit and you're like, what

1:21:05

the fuck? And then you start wondering, like, wait,

1:21:07

did I miss him in the other one? But

1:21:09

it's in a scene at

1:21:11

Wayne Tech

1:21:14

or in his office, in Bruce Wayne's office, where

1:21:16

his assistant is there and somebody

1:21:18

else is there and they're coming at

1:21:20

Bruce Wayne with a bunch of issues. As Joe points

1:21:23

out,

1:21:24

he does not Batman for the

1:21:26

first 15 minutes of the movie. So

1:21:28

one of the first things they do is take

1:21:31

you to Arkham

1:21:32

and show you Harvey Dent's

1:21:35

origins, including that piece of him

1:21:37

in the courtroom where he leaps

1:21:39

over and shit like that.

1:21:41

And they talk about him being there and they show

1:21:43

the doctor going down the hallway. Then

1:21:45

they get to the cell and

1:21:47

I guess it's his guard has been killed and he's hanging

1:21:49

up and shit like that. Yeah, it's a weird spring-loaded

1:21:52

contraption that I don't understand, but it somehow

1:21:54

explains that Harvey escaped through a skylight.

1:21:57

And there's like some kind of like that

1:21:59

must.

1:21:59

The Bat Must Die is

1:22:01

written on the wall and stuff. So definitely

1:22:04

darker. Again, you got to remember, Batman

1:22:06

Returns was so dark that, like, fucking

1:22:09

McDonald's was like, we're not making happy meals with

1:22:11

you guys anymore. So the

1:22:13

whole idea of Batman Forever was like, let's lighten

1:22:15

this shit up. And so it feels like

1:22:17

most of this shit was cut

1:22:19

in deference to that, where they're like, look, it's

1:22:21

called Batman Forever. Let's not make it

1:22:23

forever until he gets in the movie. And so

1:22:26

they cut it to what we all saw,

1:22:28

which was like,

1:22:29

it opens. There's a title in fucking, you

1:22:32

know, Batman is two faces, robbing

1:22:34

the bank and shit. And Batman is in there as quickly

1:22:36

as possible. In this version, you

1:22:38

got a two face, not origin,

1:22:41

but like all this backstory that leads to

1:22:43

his escape. And then you also meet

1:22:46

Edward Nigma

1:22:48

and spend time with him. And that's the

1:22:50

stuff that plays later in the movie. Was

1:22:52

there much extra added there? No, right?

1:22:54

No, no, no, no, no. I mean, there's a couple of little things.

1:22:56

I see a little more of Nigma working on his

1:22:59

machine. Working on his machine

1:23:01

before he like meets him, but no, not really. Does

1:23:03

it explain how Harvey

1:23:06

Dent was a black guy once?

1:23:08

No. Is

1:23:10

that part of the secret origin? I was waiting for that.

1:23:12

I was like, when do they get into the Juneteenth of this

1:23:14

shit? Like, but they're

1:23:17

not black anymore. Their

1:23:19

explanation is lame Batman. That's what

1:23:21

they say in the news. They did that in the comics,

1:23:23

though, I understand. So in the Batman 1989

1:23:27

books that they're doing for DC, I think it's Billy

1:23:30

Dee Williams. And

1:23:33

there's a cartoon movie, right, where

1:23:35

they had the Billy Dee Williams movie. In Lego Batman,

1:23:38

one of the Lego Batman movies, Billy Dee Williams

1:23:40

was the voice of Two Face, if I remember correctly.

1:23:43

But

1:23:43

no, they don't touch on that at all. I

1:23:46

don't think they've added much new

1:23:49

of Tommy

1:23:52

Lee Jones. No, he got screwed

1:23:54

over the most, though, if you ask me. Because the

1:23:56

big thing that you notice. By saying yes to the

1:23:58

movie?

1:23:59

Oh, well. But like,

1:24:02

what's really cool about this cut is that

1:24:04

like, you know, you talked about like who, you

1:24:06

know, who someone's Batman is, you know what I mean? Michael

1:24:09

Keaton's Batman is the first movie we ever saw in a theater. So

1:24:11

he's my Batman, even though, you know, I was age appropriate

1:24:14

for Batman forever for Val Kilmer, who I

1:24:17

think my people my age reject him as their

1:24:19

Batman in a weird way. But Tommy Lee

1:24:21

Jones got a lot of flack for just being like a

1:24:24

like over the top goofy whatever.

1:24:26

Felt like he was trying to do Jack

1:24:28

Nicholson's Joker. Right, but when you watch

1:24:30

this cut, you realize

1:24:32

they dubbed half of his shit

1:24:35

in the movie because like it's the

1:24:37

same footage, it's the same take, but the

1:24:39

inflection is different in almost every line

1:24:41

he has. Like the like one that

1:24:43

I can really think of off the top of my head is when the

1:24:45

Riddler first shows up

1:24:47

and he's like in the theatrical

1:24:49

cut, he goes, who the hell are you? Like really big. If

1:24:51

you listen to it, he straight up goes, and who are you?

1:24:54

Like it's just, it's a very direct kind

1:24:56

of, you know. You know, they also, what I just remember too

1:24:58

was the guy in the safe. Yeah.

1:25:01

Where he's like, oh my God, it's boiling

1:25:05

acid. That's not in the cut

1:25:07

at all. Yeah, right. You don't say shit.

1:25:09

They just take for granted that everyone's gonna understand.

1:25:11

Can you make this more like cats? Yes.

1:25:15

Oh my God, it was crazy. It was like they did a test screening

1:25:17

and one person was like, I didn't get it. Was that acid?

1:25:20

And they're like, we can fix that. Well, same

1:25:22

like the guy in the alleyway, like the day glow

1:25:24

like guy in the alleyway, like, you know, if you my age, we

1:25:26

know that guy's voice,

1:25:28

that same like, you know, you

1:25:30

know, but in this, he's, it's bad man. It's, it's

1:25:32

so interesting. The tongue and

1:25:34

Riddler's performance at the end too, and his big

1:25:37

like glittery outfit there, it's

1:25:39

the same shot, but it's, they dubbed

1:25:41

it to make it bigger, to make it more Jim Carrey.

1:25:44

And more, definitely leaning more

1:25:46

into the like, let's fun it up. Right.

1:25:49

Which is why some of the opening, why you would,

1:25:52

is more reorganization

1:25:54

of the opening of the movie. There's definitely some

1:25:56

sequences that aren't there. And of course,

1:25:58

later on.

1:25:59

You know everyone knows from the

1:26:02

Batman forever set of cards that image

1:26:04

of Bruce Wayne facing the giant fucking

1:26:06

bat

1:26:07

That sequence is in there. There's

1:26:09

a part of was it a diary

1:26:12

of his Parents his dad's

1:26:14

diary that he blames himself

1:26:17

For the death of his parents.

1:26:20

That's part of his his trauma and

1:26:22

stuff Because he wanted

1:26:24

to go to the movies or whatever the fuck

1:26:27

and when by the time he gets to the third act

1:26:29

He reads in the diary

1:26:32

that his dad wrote that

1:26:34

like I want to go see Zorro

1:26:36

and Bruce is like it wasn't

1:26:39

me. It was my idiot father

1:26:41

who got us all killed Well, that's kind

1:26:43

of different too because in the movie, you know when to face

1:26:45

in Riddler raid Wayne Manor They shoot

1:26:48

him in the head

1:26:49

and in and in the theatrical that he wakes up He's

1:26:51

like got a suit up in my sonar suit in

1:26:53

this one when he wakes up Alfred's like

1:26:55

the

1:26:56

fucking back he's been destroyed and Bruce like

1:26:58

bat cave Like what are you talking? He lost his memory

1:27:01

in this version and he has to like go into

1:27:03

the cave and go into his psyche and that's when he faces

1:27:06

The man bat and he comes out and he's like,

1:27:08

you know what? I am Batman and the man

1:27:10

that does look kind of cool Oh my god,

1:27:12

it's like they spent a lot of money on

1:27:14

it Yeah, and it holds up when you see it like it

1:27:16

flaps its wings and he did think two big

1:27:18

close-ups on it And it's they

1:27:20

go around him and Bruce very

1:27:22

dramatically and stuff spare no expense

1:27:25

No expense, but you could see why they took

1:27:27

it out because once again, they're like we got to get the

1:27:29

kids back in this thing

1:27:31

And they were not laced it with karate laundry, which

1:27:33

is not in this that's not as right This

1:27:35

cut does not have Robin

1:27:38

going like fucking laundry

1:27:40

foo, you know Swift

1:27:43

this is how you dry This is how you wash and

1:27:45

then so they were like we got to take the bat

1:27:47

the giant scary bat out What should we put

1:27:49

in like kids love laundry? They

1:27:53

love karate kids love karate What if we combine

1:27:55

the two to show why this boy should

1:27:57

be Robin or something? I'm saying when I say boy

1:27:59

That was the other thing in watching this movie that

1:28:02

I really forgot. Like,

1:28:05

Chris O'Donnell is 86 years old in this

1:28:07

movie. You know what I'm saying? Like,

1:28:09

part of the poignancy of the Batman and Robin relationship, as

1:28:12

Grant Morrison pointed out years ago on,

1:28:14

uh,

1:28:15

Fat Man on Batman,

1:28:18

when it went before we were Fat Man Beyond, when it was just

1:28:20

me one-on-one interviewing him, I made some

1:28:22

crack about fucking the Batman and Robin relationship,

1:28:26

real low-hanging fruit about, like, a guy

1:28:28

and a kid, and shit. And he

1:28:30

fucking... Man-scaped, you guys. Yes. He

1:28:34

got on me so fucking fast, and not...

1:28:37

He didn't shame me, but he kind of did, to be like...

1:28:40

I'm not even gonna try to do his accent, but his

1:28:42

whole point was like, no, that's one of the most

1:28:45

touching relationships in comics. And I was like, touching? And

1:28:47

he goes, no, fucking... Not

1:28:49

like that. He goes, like, the relationship

1:28:51

is this. You

1:28:53

have

1:28:54

the boy who looks up to the

1:28:56

man that he wants to be, and the man

1:28:59

who sees in the boy the childhood

1:29:01

that he was denied. That's why

1:29:04

their relationship is so symbiotic

1:29:06

and so deep and beautiful.

1:29:08

And in order for that to work, it

1:29:10

should be a boy. Because

1:29:13

there's no way a grown-ass man like Chris O'Donnell, like, you

1:29:15

see him in this fucking movie, he's

1:29:17

like two fucking days younger

1:29:20

than Val Kilmer and shit. Well,

1:29:22

the man... And they're like, we need to stick this orphan

1:29:24

with you. And it's like, why? He's 28 years old, I'm sure. He

1:29:29

goes to leave on his motorcycle that he rode

1:29:32

to Wayne Banner. Yes. Kid's

1:29:34

got a license, man. He don't need no fucking help. Well,

1:29:36

the one thing that the Schumacher cut couldn't fix,

1:29:38

though, is like, I just... The whole third

1:29:40

act, when they get to Riddler Island, Robin, first of all, is

1:29:42

like useless. He gets

1:29:45

captured twice. He does do holy

1:29:47

rusted metal, though. Yeah, well, yeah. That joke is

1:29:49

in every incarnation of the movie. I mean, it's so good. How could

1:29:51

it not be? But he gets...

1:29:54

This cut doesn't fix that. And it

1:29:56

also... I will

1:29:58

say in the theatrical cut,

1:29:59

What this cut doesn't have is when he

1:30:02

re-confronts Riddler and he's like, why can't I

1:30:04

kill you when he's all deformed on the floor?

1:30:07

That's not in the Schumacher cut.

1:30:09

And that's one of the best parts of the movie. And

1:30:12

I want a perfect world where that scene goes back

1:30:14

into the Schumacher cut. Incorporated. Yeah.

1:30:17

That's the one big criticism

1:30:18

I had of that cut. The bad morphing

1:30:20

effect of him becoming

1:30:23

the mutated Riddler and stuff.

1:30:26

Again, I can't

1:30:28

do any fucking special effects, but even

1:30:31

I was like, ooh. He says bummer.

1:30:33

And you think that that's a criticism of the effect itself.

1:30:36

Yeah. I was really

1:30:38

into this. But

1:30:41

would you say that it's

1:30:46

a better version of Batman

1:30:48

forever? Yeah, absolutely. But

1:30:51

I'm in that really insane

1:30:53

minority where I actually think that Batman and Robin

1:30:55

is better than Batman forever. Oh my God.

1:30:57

If only, I know, I know.

1:31:00

Well. Oh, Jesus. Oh,

1:31:03

fucking.

1:31:04

Mark needed to get a new drink

1:31:06

just for that comment. Sounds good. He was like,

1:31:09

give me another Wakanda forever. I

1:31:11

want to hear this. Why? Tell me

1:31:13

why. Because I feel like that movie, like Batman forever,

1:31:16

which very obviously now after seeing this cut, Joel

1:31:18

Schumacher was like, here's the movie I wanted to make. And they were like,

1:31:21

we wanted to make a toy movie. So we're going

1:31:23

to make your movie into a toy movie now. And

1:31:25

then Batman and Robin, he went, oh, you just want to make

1:31:27

toys. Great. I'll do

1:31:30

that. So I think that that movie is a little more cohesive.

1:31:32

Like that movie actually

1:31:34

owns what it is for minute one in office. It

1:31:36

hasn't been cut into a movie. And Batman

1:31:38

forever is kind of wishy washy. It's kind of

1:31:41

wants to be one thing, but it's forced to be something else.

1:31:44

You had him, Joe. You had him for a while

1:31:46

and then you lost him. I don't need him. Well

1:31:49

done, Joe. Well done. I don't need

1:31:51

him. Here's the thing, man.

1:31:53

I a

1:31:54

lot of people are like, fucking, why

1:31:57

won't they put this out? know

1:32:00

why any studio doesn't

1:32:02

release as many versions

1:32:04

of a movie as possible. If a

1:32:07

director wants to do so.

1:32:09

Now did Joel Schumacher ever

1:32:11

go on record saying like I wish they would

1:32:13

put this version out? Because Joel

1:32:15

Schumacher is gone so we can't find

1:32:18

out what his true wishes are. No but

1:32:20

you could ask Akiva Goldman who

1:32:23

wrote the screenplay. He wrote the screenplay but that's

1:32:25

not, he's not the director. The DGA

1:32:27

might have something to say about that. Maybe

1:32:30

but then again there's a studio that makes cuts

1:32:32

of things all the time with our directors. All

1:32:34

I gotta do is Alan Smithy this shit if they

1:32:36

wanted to.

1:32:37

I think that's kind of the problem is that like it would be the

1:32:39

Schumacher cut and after the Snyder cut

1:32:41

was so successful I think that's why you know

1:32:44

it was kind of like hey the people have been talking about the

1:32:46

Schumacher cut but Snyder could

1:32:48

still make the Snyder cut. Schumacher can't

1:32:50

make the Schumacher cut so it would, if

1:32:52

anything it would just be an assembly cut

1:32:54

and who knows if that would have been like what he

1:32:56

you know ideally would have liked to have done. And that's

1:32:59

the only thing that I would bump into is like maybe

1:33:01

Joel Schumacher was like hey man

1:33:03

the theatrical cut is the

1:33:05

cut and I don't want anybody to see the shit that

1:33:07

we

1:33:07

took out. Some directors are like that. I

1:33:11

you know as a fan of this shit and

1:33:13

as a fan of the cinema and filmmaking

1:33:16

and just being interested in the process I

1:33:19

wish they would release it. It

1:33:22

does the movie no shame if anything it

1:33:24

fucking makes it, it enhances the experience

1:33:26

of Batman forever.

1:33:28

And you know on a

1:33:30

purely greedy corporate level they

1:33:32

get another bite at the apple man

1:33:35

like there's they can make some loot without

1:33:37

putting a lot of loot into it. With Zack

1:33:39

Snyder's Justice League they had to put in 50, 70 million

1:33:42

dollars to get it viewable.

1:33:44

You could literally just put this out as

1:33:47

an addendum with Batman Forever and with

1:33:49

second disc that just has this cut on

1:33:51

it without spending another dime and probably

1:33:54

make some loot on it in physical

1:33:56

media. I mean when was the 30th anniversary? Like

1:33:58

that feels like it's a pretty Good chance. It's

1:34:00

come is it coming up two years two years So

1:34:03

it's like, you know brand new 4k restoration of

1:34:05

Batman forever plus Batman forever

1:34:07

extended edition Don't even have to call it Schumacher

1:34:10

cut. We all know what it is I'll

1:34:12

say this version definitely fits in more with Schumacher's

1:34:15

filmography too because like when you watch like the

1:34:17

Lost Boys and when you watch Flatliners

1:34:20

and falling down you could see why they hired that guy

1:34:22

to do Batman good point I mean,

1:34:24

there's some dark ass. Yeah, and not like

1:34:26

super dark but for mainstream movies

1:34:29

They have an edge and

1:34:29

it's gothic and it has the pageantry and it has

1:34:32

and he was very hip You know what? I mean? He started, you

1:34:34

know, it this fits in with

1:34:36

those movies, you know as it is now It's like he made

1:34:38

these really dope cool movies and then he got goofy

1:34:40

for a while,

1:34:41

you know And then made Tigerland. I don't you know,

1:34:44

whatever he did. I got deep cuts. Yeah, they

1:34:46

filmed that in my hometown It was the first movie I ever

1:34:48

saw being filmed.

1:34:50

So it'll always have a place in your heart. It'll

1:34:52

always have a place back home I

1:34:57

Showed it to my wife who had never seen the original

1:35:00

cut of Batman forever and like

1:35:02

me and my buddy were like freaking out and like everything

1:35:04

and she's like I

1:35:05

Am sure like I'm glad you're

1:35:07

having fun. All right, that's

1:35:10

true. I'm that's the thing it's not like for everybody's

1:35:12

not gonna change cinemanship before an

1:35:14

Audience that wants it and based

1:35:17

on what I've seen for the last few weeks

1:35:20

on the internet after we fucking talked

1:35:22

about it There's an army of fucking

1:35:24

people that really want to see it There's an entire

1:35:26

release the Schumacher cut movement. That

1:35:29

was tweeting and

1:35:30

Trending last week

1:35:32

and I think they might have trended today as well. It

1:35:34

was in the LA Times They talked about it

1:35:36

in the LA Times that you that you had this cut

1:35:39

of it So like yeah, there were a

1:35:41

lot of news pieces like comic book

1:35:43

calm, of course and shit like that I saw

1:35:45

it go to AV Club and normally

1:35:47

AV Club is always writing shitty things

1:35:50

about me

1:35:50

And so this time they didn't they just

1:35:53

wrote an indifferent. He has the cut kind

1:35:55

of thing And

1:35:57

I was like, oh, what is the fucking

1:35:59

the upper cut but they didn't do that.

1:36:02

They were just like, he has the cut, he says he's seen. I see

1:36:04

some of the reports were like, Kevin Smith claims

1:36:07

to have it. Who would fucking

1:36:09

make that claim? Like

1:36:12

what am I trying to get laid or something? Like ladies,

1:36:14

guess what I have? I've

1:36:17

also seen the thing where people are saying it's like Warner

1:36:19

Brothers is working with you to like pretend

1:36:21

like it's a conspiracy thing. And I'm a huge

1:36:23

Hollywood conspiracy theorist. I think it's all

1:36:25

evil. But like this

1:36:28

is like, no, like it's just, you actually

1:36:29

have those fucking. And I'll be honest with you, nobody has

1:36:32

reached out. For all those articles, you would

1:36:34

imagine somebody at Warner Brothers would be like, do

1:36:36

you fucking have something that belongs to

1:36:38

us? Can we have it back? And they still let you into a premiere

1:36:41

of a Warner Brothers movie. Literally man.

1:36:43

And it wasn't an elaborate trap to be like, he's

1:36:45

here. Yeah. Pounce. I

1:36:48

hadn't even thought of that shit. Because

1:36:51

I did get invited to the premiere rather late.

1:36:53

It was after I talked about the Snyder cut.

1:36:55

God, I'm Smith naive. We have something over it. We

1:36:57

got vegan cake right over there. Really? Vegan cake?

1:37:00

Slam. I'm like Joe Pesci.

1:37:02

Like, oh, no. I'm fucking down.

1:37:04

I know. Why do I have socks with those

1:37:06

oranges

1:37:06

in them? I mean, the reason I shared it with

1:37:08

you is because when I first met you 10

1:37:11

years ago,

1:37:12

like three days ago, Facebook reminded me of it. I met you

1:37:15

three days ago, 10 years ago. And I

1:37:17

told you then that it was on like my bucket list

1:37:19

to see your original cut of Jersey girl. Like

1:37:22

that was, you know, and then I

1:37:24

was invited to an early

1:37:26

screening of Clerks Three.

1:37:28

Can we tell that story? I mean,

1:37:30

if you want to, it's fine. So we have,

1:37:32

Joe and I, we

1:37:34

had an early screening of Clerks Three.

1:37:37

And it was the second

1:37:39

one we did, Lionsgate put it together.

1:37:42

And it was pretty much curated. We didn't like

1:37:44

do an open,

1:37:45

you know, go up to the fucking mall and ask

1:37:48

strangers to go. It was off

1:37:50

of like, off of the Kevin Smith Club

1:37:53

or off of like

1:37:55

the website. And basically

1:37:57

you had to kind of be familiar with my.

1:37:59

and be kind of into it.

1:38:01

They weren't getting strangers

1:38:04

cold to ask what they thought about the third

1:38:06

movie in a series that they were not familiar

1:38:08

with to begin with.

1:38:10

So we have the screens, about 100 people or something like

1:38:12

that.

1:38:12

And afterwards, everyone's

1:38:14

applauding and shit, and I get up to do like an informal

1:38:17

kind of Q&A slash

1:38:20

focus group.

1:38:21

And so I was like, all right, man,

1:38:23

how many in Lionsgate's sitting in the back?

1:38:25

So I go, how

1:38:27

many people like the movie? And

1:38:30

everyone's hands go up, or everybody applauds,

1:38:32

whatever, fuck. And I was like, well, just

1:38:35

for fucking my own edification,

1:38:36

is there anyone that didn't like it? And fucking

1:38:39

Joe's hand went up.

1:38:40

So I was like, well, we

1:38:42

got to fucking dive into this. And

1:38:45

Joe gave a very

1:38:50

passionate criticism

1:38:53

of the movie. He was like, if I remember

1:38:55

correctly, it was like, you betrayed

1:38:57

your audience and yourself.

1:39:00

And

1:39:03

I say, with all the love in my heart for you and your

1:39:05

work, I still feel that way. Yeah,

1:39:07

he don't like Clerks 3 at all. Can

1:39:10

I tell him this part? Etta, who was like

1:39:12

our exec at Lionsgate after the screening,

1:39:16

she was like, I was, as soon as

1:39:18

you went up there to do your Q&A, she was like,

1:39:20

I was getting up to go home because I'd

1:39:22

seen you do the Q&A before. And I heard

1:39:24

the movie play, so I knew everything was fine. She

1:39:27

was like, the moment that boy started talking,

1:39:29

I sat the fuck down.

1:39:32

She was like, I really wanted to know

1:39:34

how this was going to go. And they were like,

1:39:36

mystified Lionsgate people were like, why did you put

1:39:38

up with that? Why would

1:39:41

you let him do that? And I was like, he fucking, he was

1:39:43

clearly, he was a fan.

1:39:45

He loved Clerks 2,

1:39:47

and I love Clerks 2. So

1:39:50

I couldn't be like, well, just because he didn't like Clerks 3

1:39:54

means that his opinion is validated,

1:39:57

especially if I share the same.

1:39:59

But I, where we differ is

1:40:02

I love Clerks 2 and I felt like Clerks 3 was

1:40:04

an extension of Clerks 2.

1:40:06

Joe did not feel that way at all. Is there any

1:40:09

way I could tell you kind of like, I sent

1:40:11

you the email that you requested. Did you ever get it?

1:40:14