0:00

So you know this

0:02

romance rom-com movie

0:04

bracket? Yes. That we

0:06

don't need to get into you choosing violence

0:08

around that. I

0:11

have so much more ready to go. Just

0:13

set that aside. I

0:17

think, do you notice about my daughter that

0:19

she became like very obsessed with Ouija boards

0:21

this year? No. Do

0:24

you know? I do, so. I don't actually

0:26

know why somebody out there is gonna be

0:28

able to tell me why, but like she's

0:30

consuming some kind of media. I

0:32

think it must be a graphic novel. Because

0:36

like mostly I know what TV she's watching. She's

0:41

consuming some kind of media that's like, has

0:45

introduced her to the concept of the Ouija board.

0:48

Which I had one when I was little.

0:50

And then I was like, she kept asking me for

0:52

one. And I was like, I

0:54

have one in my, like there's one in my

0:57

mom's house somewhere and I couldn't find it. And

0:59

so I bought her Ouija board, which

1:02

is sitting in her room and who

1:04

knows what happens with that thing. Who

1:06

knows what spirits she is calling upon

1:08

from the Milton Bradley corporation. For telling future.

1:14

I don't think it's Milton Bradley, but it does feel,

1:16

it feels right. That it's some sort

1:18

of board game company. Anyway, Pandora

1:20

Ravenel. So then,

1:22

oh yeah, exactly.

1:26

Nice job. Always back to romance, always.

1:29

That's where we are. Okay,

1:32

so, oh, I'm also turning my microphone up because Eric

1:34

told me that I was not

1:36

loud enough. Which is not a thing

1:39

anybody has ever told me ever

1:41

in my life since

1:43

kindergarten report cards. So

1:45

anyway, so the romcom

1:47

movie bracket reminded me of

1:55

the movie only you. Have you?

1:58

No, I do not remember this. Okay,

2:01

so let me paint you a

2:03

picture. Baby

2:05

Marisa Tomei and

2:07

baby Robert Downey Jr. fall in

2:11

love in Rome in 1994. That

2:15

sounds nice.

2:17

With the Ouija board. So nice. Well,

2:19

no, the way

2:23

that it works is it's such a cute setup.

2:25

Okay, so anytime anybody in the world... All right.

2:29

I have so many things. I have so

2:31

many thoughts. You want to introduce us first or

2:33

we're gonna... Welcome everyone to Fade

2:35

Me. I'm

2:37

Sarah McLean. I read romances. I write

2:39

them and I'm going to talk to you about

2:41

them. This one right now. I'm

2:44

Jennifer Prokof, a romance reader and editor.

2:46

I am afraid of Ouija boards. I've

2:48

never actually played with one. Oh,

2:51

like you believe that you might just

2:53

summon a spirit. I think I saw

2:55

some scary... Yeah, I

2:57

saw some scary Ouija board. Okay,

2:59

well this movie will cleanse that

3:01

for me. It will cleanse the

3:03

scary and it will really...

3:06

I was freaking

3:08

delighted. Anyway, the

3:10

point is this is a movie from my youth. I

3:13

was in high school and this movie came

3:15

out and totally obsessed with it. Sure. I

3:17

mean, like, because Robert Downey Jr.

3:20

and Marisa Tomei. Who wouldn't be, right? Adorable.

3:23

So, this is so cute. And

3:26

what I wanted to say before then you said I

3:28

shouldn't introduce us, fated mates and all, is

3:31

if you are a writer out there

3:33

and you are struggling with the concept

3:35

of what we mean when we say

3:37

high concept, this

3:40

is what I'm about to explain to you

3:42

is high concept. Okay. The

3:45

movie begins. She is 11

3:47

years old. She is playing Ouija board with

3:49

her brother and she

3:51

asks the Ouija board spirit to

3:54

tell her the name of her

3:56

destiny, like of her fated mate. So...

4:00

The We Do board produces a name

4:02

Dame and Bradley. And

4:04

I will say anybody for anyone

4:07

out there who only you printed

4:09

on and imprinted on. Yelp.

4:12

In those early days literally feel

4:14

like we're just dame and Bradley

4:16

Girlies like just floating through the

4:18

world. Same and Bradley eggs. So

4:21

anyway, cut to. Fourteen

4:24

years later, She. Is

4:26

an English teacher. At

4:28

a high school teaching about

4:31

destiny. Like. See that

4:33

sets of romantic poetry? She's like. Bullies

4:36

and of me. but. She.

4:39

Has just or she accepts

4:41

a. Proposal. From her boyfriend who

4:43

is like a very decent. Podiatrist

4:45

but not named David Bradley Up

4:47

named Dame and Bradley and literally

4:50

like here we are under no

4:52

ten minutes into the movie and

4:54

she's like really, Feeling like? I

4:56

don't know. You. Know yes, he's the

4:58

right choice is clear that she's not like.

5:01

Over the Moon Dame and Bradley a

5:03

my with him season. The.

5:06

Phone on the wall ring.

5:09

She. Picked up the phone and

5:11

she says and and it's

5:13

a there's the connection. Is sad

5:16

and the guy on the other end

5:18

of the line says I got the

5:20

invitation to your wedding. From. My

5:22

friend, your a future husband. I'm

5:24

sorry I can't be there because

5:26

I'm gonna be. In. Europe

5:28

I'm in Europe and she says i can't hear

5:30

you what's your. Name and he says

5:32

dame and body heat and. She's.

5:34

Like oh, I

5:38

know that would ruin it because you

5:40

guys the idea is so strong, like

5:42

their home planet. Like said run away

5:44

and actually like you know this woman

5:47

is gonna change her whole life now

5:49

because. Some. Man named Game and

5:51

Bradley calls her fourteen years after a we

5:53

do board told or facility with her death

5:55

Smith. Said. She

5:58

goes to. Italy and she

6:01

finds Robert Downey Jr. Who

6:03

says he's Damon Bradley and it

6:05

goes on from there and it's very adorable

6:08

and I high until last night

6:11

I Said

6:13

to my daughter like there's

6:15

a movie about Ouija board. I think we should

6:17

watch it and we watched it and

6:19

she was Riveted Amazing

6:23

and it and here's what I will

6:26

say all these years later what 30 years

6:28

later God I mean first of all, they

6:30

look like actual babies But

6:35

30 years later this movie actually does

6:37

hold up and so I think

6:40

I've talked to her I talked on one of the

6:42

episodes or on our banter plus episode for the patreon

6:45

About how like this bracket makes me

6:47

sad in a lot of ways because it's like all the

6:50

classic Romcoms like don't

6:52

haven't been watched. So, you know

6:56

Although I did see somebody on Twitter sort

6:58

of saying like well It goes

7:00

in the reverse to like it feels like there are a ton

7:02

of people who haven't watched any of the new ones New ones

7:04

and they just vote right for one area that's alley or whatever,

7:06

right? But

7:10

if you haven't seen only you It's

7:13

really charming. Is it streaming somewhere to gift

7:15

a but no Eric was like Why do

7:17

you keep picking these movies that aren't on

7:19

streamers and it is true because the other

7:22

movie I recently made Victoria

7:24

watch Was pitch perfect

7:27

one of the pitch perfect and that wasn't on Or

7:30

maybe it wasn't I can't remember it. Anyway

7:32

point is you paid your five only year

7:34

only you is top-notch And then Eric so

7:36

that was last night and this morning Eric left

7:39

He's like away with you know men and

7:43

the and He

7:46

and My daughter was

7:49

like, what are we gonna do? Cuz it's pouring down rain

7:51

It's Saturday and I was like,

7:53

well, we should watch something She's like,

7:55

is there another movie that we can watch that would be like

7:57

yeah like that one on And

8:01

I was like, you know what movie I want

8:03

to show you? And I showed her The Sisterhood

8:05

of the Traveling Pants. Perfect. Which

8:08

is perfect, you guys. If you are

8:10

out there and you have a young

8:12

girl, like a, I would say like

8:14

8 to 14 in your

8:16

life. And

8:19

they have not seen Sisterhood of the

8:21

Traveling Pants. It's so cute

8:23

and actually really, really well done.

8:28

Like better than I remembered. And of

8:30

course, she like a little bit broke

8:32

my heart because America Ferrara is

8:35

a teenager in this movie. And

8:38

she was like, why do I recognize that girl? I

8:40

was like, that's Barbie's friend.

8:43

That's the mom from Barbie. Anyway,

8:48

all very exciting. So that's my

8:50

update. Jen, you should watch

8:53

Only You and anybody with

8:57

a tween should watch Sisterhood

8:59

of the Traveling Pants. I watched the

9:01

first episode of a TV show on

9:04

your recommendation, Sarah. I watched Ripper

9:06

Street. Yeah. And yeah,

9:09

it was great. I totally like was super

9:11

into it. And basically, this

9:13

is because I made fun of

9:16

the man in Macbain. Yeah,

9:18

but you see now that. Yeah,

9:20

I still like downside. I don't

9:22

feel that I'm wrong about the.

9:24

I know, Jen, but I don't

9:26

know what your problem is. Unwashed.

9:28

I need a ride to my

9:30

job at the fast

9:33

food restaurant vibe. That man gives off

9:35

in everything. Every single people

9:37

are like, look at them. And I'm like,

9:39

he needs a ride to his job after

9:41

school. Anyway, you're just not attracted to English

9:43

men. It's true. Well, I had a full

9:46

of this video. A lot of things were

9:48

happening. Anyway, so you were like,

9:50

watch him. He's older and heavier.

9:54

And I was like, yes, that's what I like. And it

9:56

was great. It was. I really liked it. And then it

9:58

was funny because is that the episode where he says

10:00

you and me alone. No, he's

10:02

busy. There's no ladies there.

10:04

Yeah, there's no women. But

10:07

it's like coming up. It's like a second.

10:09

Okay. Okay. With his wife. Is

10:11

it with his wife? He says it to his wife.

10:14

Their marriage is falling apart. It's the whole thing. But

10:17

uh, okay. Yeah. Anyway, anyway,

10:19

rip. I'm so glad and you

10:21

know what? I mean, the first episode of the show

10:23

is never a horror. Well, and it's

10:26

funny because two nights later, I was like, Oh, maybe

10:28

I'll try and watch another one. And everybody, I, you

10:30

need to understand that like my internal

10:32

clock for watching TV is still

10:34

set in the, you watch one a week. So

10:37

I just was like, you know what? I wasn't ready to watch

10:39

another one two days later. I was like, I gotta wait till

10:41

next week to maybe watch another one. Yeah, it's fine.

10:44

I get it. So it was great. So I totally

10:46

enjoyed it. Well,

10:48

listen, we've just delivered three

10:50

excellent suggestions to

10:53

people who are out there just thinking about

10:55

what to watch. Thinking about what to watch. Well,

10:57

come watch us in Brooklyn on March

10:59

23rd. We're going to be doing faded makes life. I'm

11:02

very excited about it. It will be

11:04

with Kate Claiborne and Nikki Payne and

11:06

Lauren Billings of Christina Lauren and a

11:08

lot of people that you hang

11:11

out with on the internet, if you're in a discord or

11:13

Twitter or Instagram, and you can

11:15

order books

11:18

in it. Now this part is really important.

11:20

Everybody, if you are coming, you

11:23

can preorder books from the ripped

11:25

bodice and they will like bring them, which is

11:27

great. But most importantly,

11:29

if you would like Kate Claiborne's

11:31

new book, the other side of

11:33

disappearing, you can get it three

11:35

days early at faded made five, but there's a cut off. And

11:39

that cutoff is March 14th, I

11:41

believe. So you really need to

11:43

make sure that you preorder that one in

11:46

particular and then you can shop the night of

11:48

or preorder and also shop the night of. Pay

11:53

attention to your email, everyone who is coming,

11:56

because you're going to get an email from us

11:58

with information on meetups ahead of time. and

12:00

after the show and also

12:03

links for all of those pre-orders that Jen just

12:05

talked about. And

12:08

recommendations. Somebody did this like very fun

12:10

recommendation thread. Was that in the discourse?

12:13

Oh yeah, about bars near the William

12:15

Vale and what they would

12:17

be like if they were romance novels. I

12:20

mean, it was perfect. Correct, no notes. Yeah,

12:25

well one other thing too is

12:27

like if you are interested in stickers

12:30

and other merchandise from Kelly, she has a

12:32

pre-order. She'll just like give you stuff there

12:34

including avatar buttons which are really

12:36

honestly very helpful. If people only know you

12:38

from like how you look, your little

12:41

circle. You can have

12:43

that tiny circle on you and you'll be surprised

12:45

at how great it is. You're like, oh I

12:47

know you. So that's also happening. But

12:50

I am actually mostly getting just really excited

12:52

now that it's March. I'm just like, I

12:54

cannot wait for Feta Beach Vanna. I know. I cannot

12:56

wait for Feta Beach Vanna. Exactly. It's

12:59

gonna be so fun. It's a posh hotel,

13:01

a posh room at a posh hotel. It's

13:03

gonna be fancy and

13:06

we're really excited. So, Feta

13:09

means what? It's always a good time. Yes.

13:12

Alright, so this week, I

13:15

can't believe that it's taken us this long. Yeah.

13:18

We're doing it. Here we are. We're doing it. Enemies

13:20

to lovers. Enemies to love. Enemies

13:23

to lovers. And

13:26

I have to tell you, I

13:28

struggled a bit to find... You've

13:31

never read a book? I've never read a book. Ever.

13:35

And then I look at lists of enemies to

13:37

lovers, of which there are many. Oh

13:39

no. And I've never read a book. You can't do that.

13:42

You can't take the... You can't do those lists. They're wrong.

13:44

No, they are often wrong for sure. Okay. We have a

13:46

lot to talk about. I have, look, I have a

13:48

grid. I made a grid. Alright.

13:51

I'm going to get messy and talk to me about it. No,

13:53

it's not an X, Y axis. It's not as

13:55

good as usual. But

13:57

I do think... But I think that's a...

14:00

piece of it, right? Like, I think there

14:02

is an enemy slovers. I think

14:04

it's deeply misunderstood as

14:07

a concept. I think

14:10

a lot of people who are

14:12

more, who

14:14

are newer to the genre, perhaps

14:16

like don't understand how much enemies

14:19

we, many of us are really talking

14:22

about when we're talking about enemy slovers.

14:24

Like, I want it to hurt at the

14:27

beginning. So

14:29

I think one of the things that is really

14:32

often the case instead is people are

14:34

really like describing rivals slovers. Oh yeah,

14:37

that's the bottom left quadrant of my chart.

14:39

Why don't you talk about your chart then first and

14:41

then we'll... So you have a plan.

14:43

So I have a structure, a super structure. I

14:45

have four quadrants. Okay. I

14:48

think we're going to talk about possibly the top

14:50

two. And then

14:53

the bottom two, I think, are not relevant

14:55

to this episode. All right, tell me what they are.

14:58

So the top two are enemies to

15:00

lovers straight up. So I straight up

15:02

enemies, straight up lovers. And

15:05

then friends to enemies to lovers,

15:07

which I think is like a

15:09

segmented sort of different thing

15:11

because it often includes like, it

15:14

includes like, it's more angsty in a lot of

15:16

ways, I think. Okay. Because like

15:18

there was a time when you did... Like this

15:20

person. No slash like slash love. Okay.

15:23

So caveat, lovers to

15:25

enemies to lovers also acceptable there.

15:29

Okay. But then

15:31

I think on the bottom, in the bottom two,

15:33

I have rivals to lovers

15:35

because I don't actually think most rivals

15:37

to lovers count as enemies to lovers.

15:40

Yeah, I would agree. Yeah.

15:42

Like I would think, I think a lot of people

15:44

talk about the hating game. Like it's like a terrific

15:47

enemies to lovers book. And the hating game is a

15:49

terrific book, Jen. And I have done, we've done a

15:51

deep dive on it. I have no, I love the

15:53

hating game, but it is not

15:55

enemies to lovers, point of order. It is

15:58

rivals to lovers and those who... actually

16:00

do enjoy each other's company the

16:02

second they start to engage with

16:04

each other personally. Look at you.

16:07

Shot across the bell. Okay, I like it. I

16:09

think it's Rival's Lovers, which is a

16:11

different episode. Possibly

16:14

next week. Who knows what we'll get? Who knows what

16:16

we'll do? Okay.

16:18

But it's interesting because as I was going

16:20

through like the blank to

16:22

lovers list in my head, I started

16:25

splitting them, which is why I have a grid. Got it. Because

16:28

I was like, Oh no, that's right. That's not that way. Okay.

16:31

And then the bottom right corner is empty for me because

16:33

it's friends to lovers and who cares? Not

16:36

your face. Not not your face.

16:38

No, friends lovers is not for Sarah. And that

16:40

is because Emily Emily Emily

16:43

to lovers. And

16:45

that's because enemies lovers is

16:47

so much for Sarah. Yeah, right. I'm

16:50

like, why am I even here reading about these

16:52

very nice people being very nice to each other?

16:55

Sure. Totally. I got

16:57

you. I mean, I'm sorry out

16:59

there. I know some of you love friends to

17:01

lovers so much and I don't get it. So

17:03

like, tell me, hit me up

17:05

on Instagram and tell me why is it

17:08

when we had Priscilla Oliver son. I

17:10

think we did friends to lovers with the guests because both we

17:12

were both like, okay. Sarah's

17:15

like, I've never read a single friends

17:17

to lovers book. I've read one

17:19

that I really liked and that was it. So

17:23

Josh and Hazel's guide to not dating

17:25

everyone. There you go. Here's

17:31

where I choose violence a little bit

17:33

everybody because I was

17:35

really violent. I mean, no, I'm saying

17:37

I am choosing violence again. I've made

17:39

fun of violence if it's true. Oh,

17:42

okay. Well, here comes my. I

17:46

was really like, okay, so remember everybody I've

17:48

never read a book. And

17:51

so I was like, okay, well, let me remind

17:54

myself of these enemies to lovers books. I've certainly

17:56

read. That is an enemy. What is the lover?

17:59

Who knows? And then I was like, why are all these books old? And

18:03

then I realized that enemies to lovers has

18:05

fallen out of favor because people are afraid

18:07

of conflict. They don't want it

18:09

anymore, right? And you can't have enemies to lovers

18:11

if you can't, if you don't

18:13

want to read about conflict. No, I wanted to

18:15

hurt. Yeah. At the beginning.

18:18

Yeah. And so I think one

18:20

of the reasons- I wanted to hurt at the end. Yeah. That's

18:22

a different kind of hurt. Yeah. I

18:24

think one of the reasons that it is harder to find

18:26

like more recent great examples is

18:28

because it is people

18:31

are, I don't know, reading softer

18:33

books, right? For a variety of

18:35

reasons. Well, yes. I mean, friends

18:37

to lovers is on the

18:39

rise or at least having a day. Yeah.

18:42

So, I mean, I have a couple that I

18:44

think will be really good and I'm excited to

18:46

talk about. But I just

18:48

really was thinking like, why are these kind of

18:51

out of favor right now, right? Like fake dating

18:53

is about the only is, you

18:55

know, kind of, I don't

18:57

know, like a big wave that has drowned

18:59

all the enemies to lovers at the up the

19:01

shore. Okay. Well,

19:03

now here's where I like layer on

19:05

the violence. Okay. I do have

19:07

a what on the back of my card. It says what

19:09

makes enemies lovers work? There you

19:12

go. Okay. So

19:14

the first thing that's on the list is stakes. Yes.

19:18

Right. So this is where you say conflict.

19:21

And I think that

19:23

stakes are essential to making enemies

19:25

lovers work. The only way this

19:28

idea functions is

19:31

if these two people dislike

19:34

each other intensely for a

19:37

real reason. Yes. Right.

19:40

So if essentially if love

19:44

happens between these characters, something

19:47

else has to fail. Yeah.

19:51

So we so we

19:53

see this like all the

19:55

time. It's like it's

19:57

very classic in like familial. usually

20:00

there's often a family dynamic here,

20:02

like my father and your father

20:04

are mortal enemies and

20:06

therefore we are enemies, right? Or

20:11

there's a revenge piece,

20:13

like one perceives, in

20:16

some cases, one is perceived

20:18

to have wronged the other, in

20:20

some cases they actually did wrong

20:23

the other. I

20:26

say take the finger and go straight to

20:28

the, they actually did, but like,

20:31

A Heart of Blood and Ashes, right? Is

20:35

a very strong, Animese to Lover's

20:37

book, because he

20:39

believes that she murdered

20:42

his parent. Yes! It

20:45

is a perceived wrong, but

20:47

it doesn't, but like, and

20:49

the, I

20:52

mean like, this is also an example of a

20:54

book where miscommunication or like

20:56

a misunderstanding is deployed

20:59

perfectly. Yes. But

21:02

the stakes here are so

21:04

high because, one,

21:06

he believes that he is exacting

21:08

revenge by kidnapping her and like

21:10

taking her away, you know? But

21:14

also, he, if they love, if

21:16

they fall in love, what

21:20

breaks is his loyalty, perceived loyalty

21:22

to his family. It costs

21:25

him something. He cannot love her

21:27

and be the son his parents deserved, in

21:33

his mind. Yeah. You

21:36

know what I think about a lot with that book? It's like

21:38

this, that's

21:41

a book that's perfect, right? This

21:43

book is perfect, but there's this

21:45

thing where he keeps threatening to

21:48

like cut out her tongue. I think about it once

21:50

a week, at least that tongue thing. Explain.

21:53

Everybody also, you should run and read this book

21:55

and then go and listen to the deep dive

21:57

that we did. Yeah. But now Jen, go.

22:00

Well, he just keeps threatening to cut

22:02

out her tongue because he's like, you're lying. Right?

22:05

Like he's like, I don't, I don't, I'm not

22:07

interested. Like stop talking to me. Like just, she

22:10

is, she did not kill his

22:12

parents. In fact, she loved

22:14

his mother. Like his mother was like

22:16

her was, yes, somebody who was incredibly

22:18

important to her. But every

22:20

time he brings up or

22:23

every time she brings up his parents,

22:25

he says, if you

22:28

say anymore, I'm going to cut out your tongue. So

22:31

she's never allowed. She's never allowed to speak.

22:33

Oh God, it's so good. He doesn't want

22:35

to hear her. Like it's your patriarchy, right?

22:37

And it's so good. And it's like the

22:40

other thing I just have so much respect

22:42

for is it's like, and

22:44

because it's in a world where that kind

22:46

of violence is acceptable, right? You kind of

22:48

like take a, like it takes a minute

22:50

for your brain to realize like it's both

22:52

like a real threat and

22:54

a metaphor, right? Like you will not speak

22:56

their names. I will not hear what you

22:58

have to say about them. And then because

23:00

of that, he's like trapped in his own

23:02

hell because he can't listen. Right.

23:05

It's so good. And that's the part I

23:07

think like, Oh God, that book is perfect.

23:09

I mean, in every way, perfect, freaking

23:11

perfect. Literally in every way. I mean,

23:14

whatever, but, but the point is

23:17

like it's stakes, right? And

23:19

what I mean by that is like we, the

23:22

reader have to understand.

23:25

What the stakes are. So

23:27

I mean,

23:29

yes, I totally agree with you. I made this list.

23:31

Most of these books are old. Um,

23:35

like, and by old, I mean like 30 years

23:37

old, like 30 or 40. Yeah.

23:39

Right. They're old. Right. Like the

23:41

first book that always comes

23:43

to mind when I think about any means to

23:45

lovers is a kingdom of

23:48

dreams. Mm-hmm. Where

23:50

like, again, another book we read, we did

23:52

a deep dive on. It holds up it's

23:55

by Judith McNaught. These

23:58

two are, uh, It's

24:00

warring clans, like warring families

24:03

in medieval England. And

24:07

there is a sense of just

24:09

like at any moment, one

24:12

family could kill the other. And

24:15

when they, and she fights

24:17

him every step of the way

24:19

because she's been trained by her

24:22

family to believe that familial loyalty

24:24

is the most important characteristic that

24:26

a person can have, even

24:29

when your family is acting,

24:31

is a bad actor, right?

24:36

Horrible things happen in this book and

24:38

they fall for each other anyway. And

24:41

at the end, literally, the stakes

24:44

are he is going to die

24:47

if she doesn't admit that like,

24:52

if she doesn't turn her back on this like

24:54

feud. So

24:57

good. These are, I mean, now granted,

24:59

right, this is a medieval, so the stakes are

25:02

able to be in

25:04

Heart of Blood and Ashes is a fantasy. So

25:06

it's like the stakes are able to be that

25:08

high. Right.

25:10

Like Cressly's

25:13

vivisection. Yeah. Mr.

25:15

Vivisection. Right. Right. Dreams

25:18

of a Dark Warrior. Thank you. Like he

25:20

literally vivisect her. Yeah. Which

25:23

like it's but she's an immortal. So like she's

25:25

not going to die. Right. But

25:28

like that's pretty awful. And they

25:30

have to like the stakes are so

25:32

high. Like, how are they

25:35

ever going to get together? I

25:39

mean, that's the fundamental question of an enemy

25:41

is to lovers. And that's why I think

25:44

I think part of the

25:46

challenge, Jen, and this could be

25:48

me choosing violence. I don't know. This

25:52

wasn't the violence I thought I was going to choose today, though. But

25:55

with the rise of contemporary and the fall

25:57

of everything else. Yeah. We

26:00

are not seeing it because contemporary can't

26:02

play these games the way historical,

26:06

fantasy, paranormal, etc.

26:09

can. This

26:11

week's episode of Faded Mates is brought to

26:13

you by Parker S. Huntington and

26:15

L.J. Shen, authors of My

26:18

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26:20

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26:26

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26:42

most heavily guarded manner, which happens

26:44

to be inhabited by a very

26:46

handsome billionaire. She's

26:49

got, for romance reasons, a pendant inside

26:51

that house that is very important to

26:53

her, and she has got to get

26:56

it back. So, very simple. She's going

26:58

to sneak in, steal the pendant, and

27:00

sneak out, and no one is going

27:02

to find her. Uh-oh. What

27:05

happened? Jen, would

27:07

you believe this handsome, unattainable bachelor billionaire

27:09

is just in there? Waiting

27:12

to catch her? Catches her. And

27:14

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27:16

or calling the cops, or

27:19

just sending her on her way, he decides

27:22

to keep her. And

27:24

he's going to make her be his housekeeper. So,

27:27

she has no choice. She's stuck. This

27:29

is like forced proximity in a real

27:31

sense. And, uh,

27:34

she is going to

27:36

stay, and they

27:38

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27:41

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27:43

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of Faded Mates you can hear an

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audio excerpt of My Dark

28:22

Desire. Thank you to Parker

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S. Huntington and L.J. Shen

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for sponsoring this week's episode. So

28:32

here's where I feel like this is

28:34

where like mafia romance can come in.

28:36

And now what's interesting to me is

28:38

I'm sure people are like this is

28:40

where dark romance comes into you but

28:42

for me it doesn't

28:44

because mafia is sort of

28:46

the place where I think you can get like here's

28:49

because here's why you need you

28:52

need parody. They have

28:54

to be enemies. Yes, they can't be

28:56

like you can't have a huge

29:00

massive power imbalance in enemies to

29:02

lovers. Otherwise, it's like the equivalent

29:04

of like you know somebody's

29:07

got their hand outstretched on the other

29:09

person's head who's just swinging and can't

29:11

touch them like a little kid right.

29:13

And so and you know dark romance

29:16

very rarely has equals

29:18

like that right. So

29:20

I was well also it feels like

29:23

it has to be proactive enemy-ing.

29:25

Yes, right. Like yeah right.

29:28

I think the challenge and people

29:30

are gonna be upset. Dark romance films are gonna be

29:32

upset I think with what this is with what I'm

29:34

about to say and I don't mean it to

29:36

be upsetting but often

29:38

in dark romance or at least in the dark

29:40

romance that I have read which is granted not

29:42

as much as many of you. The

29:46

heroines are simply not proactive.

29:49

They are kidnapped

29:51

or dragged through the mock or like

29:54

thrown into a situation where

29:56

like they are The cat they

29:58

are captive or they are. Blog

30:00

being. Controlled or they are imprisoned.

30:02

Or they are. whatever. But.

30:05

It's. A passive voice, right? They

30:07

are blanks, right? Say, like I

30:09

said of. You

30:11

know, They. Get themselves in prison

30:13

because they've been reason you know

30:15

they had they been, they broke

30:17

into the heroes. House to kill

30:20

him. Yeah, one of my

30:22

favorite scenes in the Adventurers is like lot of

30:24

it's like Black Widow and she's like it looks

30:26

like she's. Getting the crappy it out of her right? And

30:28

like some comes in to save her and

30:30

she was like I was almost or my

30:32

interrogate send them to see normal. Still A

30:34

told me everything and some is like playing

30:37

the guy the whole entire time and guess

30:39

you know I again like I'm sure and

30:41

you know please tell us. I'm sure you

30:43

can think of a few dark moments where

30:45

that is that true. But yeah you need

30:47

you need to start off with people being

30:49

equals or they're being parity or. In

30:51

that just not really would dark moments

30:53

traffic. so there are equal skin and

30:55

muggy? yeah. right? Like. In

30:58

order for it to be true enemy

31:01

slivers, you have to feel like either

31:03

one of them could lose. Yes, and

31:05

it would be real bad. Ill so

31:08

in Mafia Targets which is by our

31:10

friend Mila Finale: I'm Joanna Soups Wanna

31:12

join a ships and. I

31:14

guess her only financially up one

31:17

of what y no headway on

31:19

that this is a gay romance

31:22

between an assassin. Alessio.

31:24

And I'm coolio who is like

31:27

the son of south so was

31:29

like so. I'm in

31:31

other. Herb. Per

31:33

Derek craven her Sebastian sentence and

31:35

rattling just like that our house

31:37

character from the first books in

31:40

this Kings in Italy series. Anyway,

31:42

Coolio has. I'm kind

31:44

of appears the first couple books.

31:46

He is ah ya a very

31:48

young I mean like eighteen or

31:50

nineteen and any closeted a on

31:52

that as like sort of a

31:55

condition of the ending of. book

31:57

to he is gonna like escape

31:59

hello like just like leave

32:01

it because you know for

32:04

various reasons one of which is like

32:06

would they ever accept a gay mafioso

32:08

and like the you know the the

32:10

mafia and like there's all these

32:12

really rigid rules around everything around

32:14

you know having families and

32:16

wives and all that stuff and so there's

32:18

just no way for him to be part of

32:21

this world so he leaves and this

32:23

is a really big deal like right like

32:25

it's really him turning away

32:27

from like a life he kind of understands and

32:29

loves in order to like you know kind of

32:31

be out there and so

32:33

he is at the beginning of the book

32:36

like I don't know like living in some

32:38

little you know province

32:42

in Scotland or something I

32:44

mean like he's he is

32:46

and and he is kind

32:48

of struggling because like this

32:50

entire world that he thought he knew right

32:52

he has renounced

32:55

he's renounced his birthright in

32:58

order to essentially be free and

33:00

Alessio has been hired to kill

33:02

him and

33:06

because he's an assassin right

33:09

and so what we get

33:11

is like this real like clash

33:14

of the Titans kind of feeling right

33:16

like you have like this mafia prince

33:18

on one side and this

33:21

you know completely cold-blooded

33:23

assassin on the other

33:26

and what they end up so

33:28

you know he finds them in Scotland and

33:30

then they end up falling in love and

33:33

then it's kind of a well

33:35

how can we

33:37

how can we live in you know

33:39

we can't leave this world there's no leaving this

33:41

world right you tried and it's not gonna work

33:45

and so how can we then

33:47

it's like conquer it right so

33:49

that the enemies part really is

33:51

like that he's gonna kill him

33:54

and it's not like what I guess I I like

33:57

about it is it's not necessarily

33:59

personal which in

34:01

some ways I think makes it even more

34:05

like pressing, right? Like it isn't something I

34:07

can just like lay down my dislike for

34:09

you. I have a job to do. And

34:11

if I don't do it, then what's going

34:13

to happen to me, right? And it's

34:15

great. You know, Mila

34:17

has a really good handle

34:20

on how to thread that

34:22

enemies to lovers needle. You

34:24

know, certainly in some of

34:27

the books, she leans harder

34:29

into like kidnapped

34:32

daughter of my rival, right? That's

34:34

the first one, Mafia Virgin.

34:37

No, Mafia Mistress? Mafia

34:39

Mistress. That's right. Right.

34:42

And but in Mafia

34:44

Madman, which is, I

34:46

don't know, either right before or right after

34:48

the one you were just talking about, there

34:51

that also that has some of that dark romance,

34:53

like he kidnaps her, he's like the villain of

34:55

the play, like he's been the villain for multiple

34:57

books. But she

35:00

pairs him with a

35:03

heroine who is not

35:05

taking any of his shit, despite the

35:07

fact that she has been like thrown

35:09

into his yacht cage. Right.

35:12

So I think

35:16

you're right. I think it does

35:18

ride and he kidnaps her because

35:21

she is the sister-in-law of his

35:23

rival whom he wants to punish. Yeah.

35:26

So there is a sort of deep enemy piece

35:28

here. The stakes here, though, are

35:30

as soon as they start to fall

35:32

for each other, like the one

35:35

what happens to the rivalry and two,

35:39

you know, like how is she go

35:41

again? It's that familial loyalty. Right. Right.

35:43

I keep now that you know, when

35:45

when Sophie Jordan said to me, like

35:47

all mafia books are just medieval. Yeah.

35:50

You were like, it rewired my brain.

35:52

Absolutely. Like now I just can't I

35:54

can't unsee it anymore. And so like

35:57

the family rivalry in mafia books. So

36:00

it's warring clans, right? So it just,

36:04

it literally was the book that I put

36:06

down next after A Kingdom of Dreams. And

36:08

I think it's just because like, my brain

36:10

went medieval, mafia. And then I

36:13

want to talk about how

36:15

it can be done without like, like

36:18

high stakes, drama, like

36:20

somebody might die. And

36:23

I do think that there is something to

36:25

be said for historicals, for being able to

36:27

deliver that too, because

36:29

in historicals, there is such

36:31

a powerful reputation holds

36:34

such powerful weight in

36:36

historical. And I

36:38

think like, that's not to say reputation

36:40

can't hold weight in other, in contemporaries

36:42

too, but like reputation

36:45

is the realm of the historical.

36:49

And so I want to talk

36:51

about Courtney Milan's Unlocked, which is

36:53

a novella. And a lot

36:58

of people love Courtney in general. And

37:01

I just think like this book, this

37:03

novella proves that like, this is, I think

37:05

the place where Courtney shines the

37:07

best in this sort

37:10

of small bite. If

37:14

you've never read Courtney, do this one. So

37:17

Unlocked is essentially

37:19

like a bully historical. These

37:22

two characters long ago, when

37:25

the heroine came out in society, the

37:28

hero and a group of his friends

37:30

like basically destroyed her reputation for kicks.

37:33

And like made her feel

37:35

really bad about herself. Like made the

37:38

whole, made her the laughing stock of

37:40

like society. And I think

37:42

the other thing that historical is able to do

37:45

with this, with reputation that, you

37:47

know, contemporary maybe is less able to do

37:49

is the society

37:51

that is built in historical is

37:53

so tiny that

37:55

it feels like, you know, one misstep

37:58

and that's it you're ruining. forever,

38:00

you're unmarriageable, you're

38:04

a woman so you won't ever be able to

38:06

own property or have, your

38:10

literal life is ruined. And

38:13

so he goes

38:15

away and she gets older and he

38:18

comes back and she's like on the shelf,

38:21

she's the spinster on the shelf and

38:23

he comes back kind of

38:25

ready to make amends

38:28

and she won't have it. I

38:30

love that. Don't forgive them? No,

38:34

I mean it's terrible and what

38:36

he did was terrible and Courtney

38:39

really threads an interesting needle here because

38:41

she doesn't, she does not forgive

38:44

him for what he's done but

38:47

she really considers

38:49

the weight of

38:52

societal expectation in this tiny little

38:54

novella in a way that I

38:56

think a lot of historicals dance

38:58

around but Courtney

39:01

doesn't, she's not

39:03

afraid of like really digging deep and looking at

39:05

that. And so if

39:07

you're, we don't talk a ton about Courtney on the

39:09

podcast but you should

39:11

start there with Unlocked. Yeah, I

39:14

have a recommendation that I think is sort

39:16

of similar like you're talking about reputation but

39:18

I'm gonna like preface this by saying like

39:22

you cannot just like pick up this book and read it.

39:24

Like it is really reliant on having

39:27

read the Kate Daniels series. So the book

39:29

is Iron and Magic by Alona Andrews

39:31

and in the Kate Daniels series,

39:34

the big bad guy is named

39:36

Roland and

39:40

which is not a fear that strikes you

39:42

know fear and pardon me but whatever, will if you

39:44

read these books. But then like many

39:47

books in his,

39:49

okay so Roland's like warlord which you

39:51

know I love this right. His like kind

39:54

of first in command, I love a warlord,

39:57

is this guy named Hugh D'Ambre and

39:59

he is awful, the entire,

40:01

like he will do anything to

40:03

try and fuck with Kate. He

40:05

tries to break up Kate and current.

40:08

He is just like constantly terrible.

40:10

He's always conniving and

40:12

you know just terrible. And so

40:15

in, it's late, late in the

40:17

series, seven or eight books into the series,

40:20

he essentially gets fired by Roland

40:22

and just like disappears. And

40:24

in this book, so this is like a

40:27

spinoff, he ends up,

40:29

his men are called the Iron Dogs, like

40:35

his warriors. And people

40:37

essentially are killing them off and you can't

40:39

quite figure out why. And so he ends

40:41

up like teaming up with this woman named

40:44

Olara who is

40:46

trying to keep her people safe. And essentially

40:48

they strike this like real devil's bargain and

40:50

they cannot stand each other. He

40:53

can help her essentially like fortify

40:55

her literal castle with

40:58

his men. And

41:00

in return, she can like sort of like put

41:02

them all up and give them a safe place for

41:05

them to sort of like recover, right? And

41:07

this is like one of those things where

41:09

you're like, there is no way that you

41:11

are going to make me like Hugh D'Ambre.

41:16

Bonk, bonk. Right? Da,

41:18

da, da. And so,

41:21

and like I said, I think this would be

41:23

a really difficult book to read, Cold. It

41:27

is, they do not trust

41:29

each other at all. And

41:31

there's this one really great part where

41:34

like they actually I think have to get married, you

41:37

know, I mean, and they're like both like, okay, fine, I guess we

41:39

have to do this to save our people. Where

41:42

you know, like the first wave of attackers comes

41:45

at them and you know, like they're fighting or

41:47

something. And he realizes

41:49

that she hasn't told him about like some

41:51

razor wire that she has possession of and

41:53

he's like, why don't you tell me about

41:55

that? And she's like, what the fuck

41:57

are you talking about? And he's like, what? When

42:00

I told you I didn't know everything

42:02

we had like eight minutes to places

42:04

like a really dramatic series about like

42:06

a story that like these two people

42:08

who hate each other and but like

42:10

are forced. It's really like the only

42:12

way to work together and I any

42:14

I know. Like I said you can

42:16

read a cold. But it is I

42:18

ate Really like is one I think of

42:20

off them when I think of true people

42:22

who are truly like I cannot fucking send

42:25

you. Let's go. Yeah. So

42:28

I think. Whole.

42:32

Thing I want to as. I.

42:35

Have a couple of contemporary so my left eye

42:37

to eye to. And

42:39

I. I'm. I'm trying

42:41

to sort of think I've I've been thinking lot about

42:44

like how they are. Similar.

42:46

Like what? What it is about a

42:48

contemporary that really works for me when

42:50

it's enemies the lover. So I think

42:52

there are two versions of this that

42:54

work. I think the first is we

42:56

are thrown together. By.

42:59

Friends. And or family and

43:01

like we just. Don't.

43:04

Like each other, Right

43:06

path and I think that

43:08

is very. That. Is a

43:11

terrific. Like A

43:13

is a very very good set

43:15

up in the hands of the

43:17

right author. Like I think that

43:20

it can quickly not have any

43:22

T V out cause of aforementioned

43:24

conversation about steaks. I'm

43:27

I'm I'm just gonna name's Hack two

43:30

bucks The do that because we've done

43:32

deep dives on both of them. The

43:34

first says her best worst Mr got

43:37

apparently know which we have both said

43:39

multiple times we believe is like a

43:41

perfect hot here A plus enemies lovers

43:44

know. I'm.

43:46

It. Is. At her best

43:49

friend was supposed to

43:51

marry him and in

43:53

said. She'd take sauce

43:55

and then he blames.

43:58

The hero blame the heroin. for

44:00

his bride, like essentially leaving his

44:02

fiance leaving. And they

44:05

fucking hate each other. And she's

44:07

basically like, I have hated you.

44:09

I didn't think she should marry

44:11

you. You're terrible. And he's like,

44:13

you're terrible. I hate

44:15

you more. And then they

44:17

like and so part of the stakes

44:20

there is like their own false

44:22

view of themselves and each other. The

44:27

other one is asking for trouble

44:29

by Tessabilly, which is still, I

44:31

think my favorite Tessabilly book where

44:34

they are each of

44:36

their, again, their best friends. So

44:38

the hero's best friend and the

44:40

heroine's best friend get married in an earlier book

44:42

in the series. And these

44:45

two hate each other. And

44:47

but they have to, they're sort of forced

44:49

into having to deal with each other because they're

44:52

planning, you know, there's a wedding happening.

44:54

So they are, they have

44:56

to be together for the best party and

44:58

the best, like the engagement party and the

45:00

wedding and they can't stand

45:02

each other. And this

45:07

week's episode of Faded Mains is

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sponsored by Blue Box Press, publishers

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of Sky Warren's Blue Moon, the

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45:21

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45:23

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45:25

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45:27

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45:29

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45:33

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45:40

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45:42

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45:44

his demands. Her name is Luna

45:46

Ryder and she is an aerialist, which

45:48

I love. I think that's so cool

45:51

to have an aerial acrobat as a

45:53

heroine. She is, you know, determined to

45:55

provide for herself and her sister, but

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she really cannot resist Emerson. And

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there is the, and all the secrets

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46:36

My other ones are all

46:38

workplaces because I feel like that's

46:40

the other place that you can get

46:42

like sort of really strong. Oh,

46:45

interesting. Like feelings. Like feeling not

46:47

none of them are workplaces. Interesting.

46:49

Okay. So you go. Why

46:52

don't you go? Well, I want to name

46:54

check the worst sky.

46:56

They are not rival. No,

46:59

they, you know what it is? I

47:01

was thinking so hate, hate working with each

47:03

other. You know what it is? It was

47:05

like usually when I think about it and

47:08

these three books have this in common. They

47:11

work together, but they

47:13

disagree intensely about the,

47:16

like how to do the work. Does

47:19

that make sense? So they are

47:21

an indirect competition, but they are

47:23

like in

47:25

like essentially like they have a different

47:28

worldview and because they work

47:30

together, this is like illuminated for them.

47:33

Right. So one is the worst guy

47:35

by Kate Canterbury, which I think is

47:37

like a real fan favorite. Lots of

47:39

people love this book and they are

47:41

both essentially

47:43

re like reconstructive

47:46

plastic surgeons. Like

47:49

you that kind of work. And

47:52

what happens is she

47:54

is like

47:57

basically thinks he's like a hatchet man. he

48:00

doesn't care as much about what

48:02

things are going to look like after the

48:04

surgery is done. Whereas

48:07

he thinks that she is like, doesn't

48:10

understand that sometimes it's like life or

48:12

death and who cares if there's like

48:14

a scar, right? And so he

48:16

thinks she's just sort of this like prima

48:18

donna. And she just thinks

48:20

that he is utterly ridiculous

48:22

in the way that he operates.

48:24

And basically these two... I mean,

48:28

and this part was a little hard for me to

48:30

believe, but they have some sort of

48:32

scuffle at work that is like so

48:34

elevated that they get ordered into like

48:37

conflict resolution. And

48:41

then they have to like sort of figure

48:43

out like, okay, maybe I can see their

48:45

point of view in a different way, right?

48:47

A very similar

48:50

setup to that is, but

48:53

one that I actually thought the like,

48:57

it has a really hot opening, like I literally read

48:59

it and I was like, I've never read anything like

49:01

this before. It's called Fighting for

49:04

Control by JJ Arias. And

49:07

in this book, it's Lola and Carmen

49:09

and they both work for... Lola

49:12

is an agent and Carmen is

49:15

a lawyer and they both work for like a

49:18

PR, like an, I don't know,

49:20

like Dominion is the name of the agency. It's like a...

49:22

I don't think

49:24

she's a sports agent, but like whatever details

49:27

don't really matter because wait till I tell you about the beginning of

49:29

this book, I was a GOG. Like I

49:31

was like, oh, they mean it. JJ

49:33

Arias is not playing. So Lola,

49:35

the book opens with Lola trying to get to

49:38

work and she has like, she's looking down at

49:40

a cup of coffee with the word like Natalia

49:42

on it. You find out later, it's her boss.

49:45

And she is, there's

49:48

like, she's on a Miami street and there's

49:50

the bus and then the

49:53

parking garage she's trying to get to

49:55

where her office is. And so

49:58

there's the bus and her

50:00

car and then she sees up

50:02

ahead Carmen's SUV. Carmen's

50:05

SUV and she's just like, God damn it Carmen's

50:08

gonna beat me into the garage and be the first

50:10

one in the office and like you're not really quite

50:12

sure why this is so important but the

50:14

light turn screen and

50:16

Lola like floors it and

50:19

then like tries to cut across all

50:21

these lanes of traffic, cuts

50:24

off Carmen who is essentially trying

50:26

to also make it into the

50:28

garage and then the two of

50:30

them literally get into an accident

50:32

because Lola is driving so recklessly

50:34

and something about this like triggers

50:36

Carmen to do the same thing.

50:38

They almost hit the guy in

50:40

the garage who's like just

50:42

trying to put the garbage away. They have this and

50:44

then like they like you know like Lola stops

50:47

out of her car and Carmen starts out

50:49

of her car and you're like what is

50:51

going on? It's like it is sky-high and

50:53

you know Carmen's like you know that you

50:55

know this was your fault and Lola's like

50:57

you're the one eating my ass because like

50:59

you know Carmen hit her and then like

51:01

they both kind of freeze and you realize

51:03

these two have been in bed together. And

51:06

you don't know why and you don't know how but

51:09

you know that they've done it and they

51:11

fucking hate each other still and instantaneous. That's

51:14

like what's gonna happen and they

51:16

like the worst guy get offered that

51:18

they have like essentially they get told

51:20

you have to go to you know

51:22

conflict management and both

51:24

of them are like that's ridiculous nobody can force me to

51:27

do it but then the people who can force them to do it

51:29

force them to do it. And the

51:31

thing about Lola in particular is like

51:33

you were just like what like Carmen

51:35

is always trying to like stay cool

51:37

and so calm and Lola is just

51:39

a firecracker and you're

51:41

like why is she so angry all the time?

51:44

And it really takes like a long time for

51:46

you to figure out like why she's so aggressively

51:48

like in your face but I literally

51:51

was like literal, a literal

51:53

bang it starts with this car

51:55

crash right? Perfect. Yeah that's great. I'm

51:57

gonna get that right now. more.

52:00

Can I talk about it? Okay, yeah,

52:03

this one. I have a lot more. Okay, I have

52:05

a feeling you're gonna have others that you want to

52:07

talk about when I bring up two more things. Oh, I'm

52:09

sure. But these are like the workplace ones. This

52:12

one, listen, we mentioned this because

52:14

our, it was an

52:16

ad last week by Kayla Woofberg for

52:19

this book called Late Night Love. And

52:22

I was like, oh, it's NME still lovers. I

52:24

should look at it. Like, right, like it's new.

52:26

It literally just came out. And if you'll remember

52:28

everybody, she wants

52:31

to be on, okay, so like we're reading

52:33

the ad, she wants to be the weekend

52:35

update writer for a TV show that's called

52:37

like Late Night in New York. And

52:40

so what happens is I'm reading

52:42

the book and this is all in the

52:44

first chapter or two. There's

52:47

two guys on the like weekend update desk,

52:49

Alex and Chris. And

52:51

she is like, everybody hates Alex. His dad

52:54

is some big wig. We all know that

52:56

he has just, just has this job because

52:58

of his relationship to the,

53:00

you know what I mean? He's a Nepo

53:02

baby. He's a Nepo baby. And everyone hates

53:04

him. He is a jerk and he has

53:06

an asshole and fine, right? But the person

53:08

she really hates though is Chris because

53:11

she's like, but everybody loves Chris, haha,

53:13

not like that TV show. But

53:15

she's like, but why? Because he

53:17

is constantly enabling Alex. And

53:20

it's really like heartfelt. Like you're like, oh

53:22

yeah, that is a good point. Like it's,

53:24

everyone hates the guy everyone hates, but like

53:27

she hates the guy who enables the guy

53:29

everyone hates, right? And so

53:31

I don't want to spoil it because

53:33

the joke that she like slips into

53:35

the cue cards is really good. And

53:38

Alex, remember, this is live TV when

53:40

it says and like loses his mind,

53:42

like loses his mind and is shouting

53:45

like, who fucking did this on live

53:47

TV? And then like does some

53:49

other stuff. And essentially the producer

53:51

is literally like, you're fired

53:54

to Alex right now. But then here are the

53:56

stakes. She's like,

53:58

I'm making you incredible. Chris, not just

54:00

head writers of The Women's Name is Emily.

54:02

You and Chris are now not

54:05

just head writers of the weekend

54:07

update but of the show because our

54:09

ratings are in the tank and that laugh she

54:11

got was the biggest laugh not that just we

54:14

got tonight but we got all season. And

54:17

if we do not like turn this

54:19

ship around, they're gonna cancel the

54:21

show. And I was

54:23

like, there you go. So they have to

54:26

work together even though they hate each other. And

54:28

I was like, and there you go. Like it's

54:30

stakes, right? Perfect. Boom.

54:34

It was great. It's great. All

54:36

right. So I have two things. I

54:38

want to talk about shame. And

54:40

I think this is one of those things. It

54:43

is really tricky. This is a tricky

54:45

line for writers because

54:47

I think when

54:50

you and I came to romance a million years

54:52

ago, shame,

54:54

particularly the heroine

54:57

feeling shame was

55:00

like a very big piece

55:03

of this plot line. But

55:05

I think old school romance

55:08

does this very well in terms

55:10

of like making really

55:12

breaking the heroine on page or

55:14

at least like attempting to break

55:16

the heroine on page until

55:19

the hero sees the truth. Like

55:22

just how bad it is. So

55:25

there's a book that's in my head that I cannot, I

55:28

do not remember the name of and I do not remember

55:30

what it is. But so I'm going to tell you a

55:32

story and you're going to tell me if you remember this,

55:34

but I'm going to talk, but let me give you some examples

55:36

of how this works. So the

55:39

trick here and the reason why I say it's tricky

55:41

is because there is a balance

55:43

between making the heroine so ashamed or like

55:45

deploying shame as something

55:48

for the heroine

55:55

to feel to make her

55:57

hate the hero enough that like.

56:00

It is true enemies, right?

56:03

And so that is like, that is the balance that

56:05

you're trying to strike. But very

56:08

often in this, it falls

56:10

into like, oh my

56:12

God, this heroine's like a doormat. And

56:15

like, it's not fun to watch this.

56:17

No. Right? So

56:19

what I'm thinking about, I think

56:21

there are two people, there's one person who

56:24

does this like almost perfectly every time she

56:26

does it and that's Susan Elizabeth Phillips. Every time

56:28

I knew you were going there, right? You

56:32

can't talk about enemies, love is without talking about Ain't

56:34

She Sweet, where Sugar Bath, the setup

56:36

is that Sugar Bath has done a very

56:38

terrible thing. When

56:41

she was a teenager, she

56:44

basically told the staff

56:47

of her small town high school

56:49

that the English teacher, the brand

56:51

new young male English teacher had

56:54

sexually harassed her. It

56:57

was not true. She like,

57:00

he was immediately fired, he left town

57:02

and then he comes back. However,

57:05

many years later, triumphant, he's written like

57:07

a memoir

57:09

slash biography of this small

57:11

town, like a

57:13

Tracy Kidder style book of

57:16

this small town, returns by

57:18

the like home where Sugar

57:20

Bath's family had been

57:22

sort of on high there and

57:25

then like basically hires Sugar

57:27

Bath to be his servant. And

57:31

like, it is like, it is

57:33

hot, the shame that she feels when she's

57:35

like made to like, be

57:38

to like serve the women, the

57:41

girl, the women, the once

57:43

girls now women who went to high school

57:45

with her. It

57:48

is almost impossible to imagine how

57:50

this romance is going to work out, but

57:52

it's Susan Elizabeth Phillips, so it works perfectly.

57:56

And then I think also Susan does this well in

57:58

something like Kiss an Angel. Right like oh

58:01

my god everybody listen. They are apparently

58:03

redoing the whole gorilla enclosure at the

58:05

Brookfield Zoo Where I was

58:07

like I was like I guess I have to read kiss an

58:09

angel again. Sorry everyone. I Mean

58:12

cuz an angel is terrific. You should go listen

58:14

to Jen's episode of learning the tropes about

58:17

kiss an angel It's so

58:19

fun, but it's also another one where

58:21

like shame is really interestingly deployed And

58:25

then there's like a very listen check your content

58:27

warnings I'm not even sure that I like I

58:30

don't even like love recommending this book anymore But

58:32

it is a book where like shame is

58:34

very I think well deployed against an actress

58:37

that is like deeply problematic in a number

58:39

Of ways, but I'm thinking about like Megan

58:41

McKinney's till dawn tames the night like these

58:43

are sort of like very big

58:45

old-school books that do this Here's

58:48

my question for you Jen. Yeah There

58:51

is a romance novel I'm pretty sure it's

58:53

historical This is the

58:55

question for everyone. Yes The

58:57

heroine it's this kind of thing like

59:00

she's basically forced to like be his

59:02

servant she's like Scrubbing

59:04

floors like basically and she keeps

59:07

his basically he keeps saying to

59:09

her like if you admit

59:12

That I've broken you yeah I'll

59:16

it all stops and she

59:18

refuses refuses I'm not gonna

59:20

only read that book but what I get it I

59:22

mean first of all I think I've

59:25

read this book probably in like many

59:27

different forms Yeah, like I think this

59:29

is a very classic old-school romance setup

59:31

Yeah, because it's a way for us

59:33

to like really visualize patriarchy. Yeah, right

59:35

like he is unwilling

59:39

to He knows what he

59:41

is doing to her and he lets

59:43

it happen because she won't admit She

59:45

doesn't like it's a heart of blood

59:48

and ashes. It's the same thing. Yeah,

59:50

right You're telling me I won

59:52

and I'll stop right and so when we

59:54

say like these books are inherently feminist Like not

59:56

to get on my high horse, but here

59:58

I am This is what

1:00:00

I'm talking about. Like this was transcendent in

1:00:03

the 80s. Yeah, like this the 70s

1:00:05

80s and early 90s like this concept

1:00:08

right, we could see Visually

1:00:11

what these heroes were doing and it was a mirror

1:00:13

of what the world does to

1:00:16

women and other marginalized groups, right?

1:00:19

so I Can't think of

1:00:21

it and I can but

1:00:23

I can like see him ultimately break like

1:00:26

yeah fundamentally Right what ends up happening in

1:00:28

these books is it's the hero

1:00:30

who breaks? Yeah, the hero wins are strong

1:00:32

as steel but when

1:00:35

the hero breaks He

1:00:37

breaks because he sees Wow.

1:00:40

Yeah, how what he's done or Like

1:00:43

what he's attempted to do. Hmm. Yeah.

1:00:46

No, I definitely read that book. I

1:00:48

play. Oh, of course so

1:00:50

like I think that where I'm

1:00:52

at here is like when we talk about it, I

1:00:54

mean lovers like That's what

1:00:56

I want. I wanted to feel like Somebody's

1:00:59

gonna break. Well, and I think like

1:01:01

the other thing about books like this

1:01:03

is Like when we

1:01:05

say detector content warning, it's like their

1:01:08

boundary crossing right? like very like not

1:01:10

just in like the content warning way,

1:01:12

but like literally like this is You

1:01:16

really have to see people like fly way

1:01:18

past the point where they should have stopped

1:01:21

Right. I mean, you know You have to like

1:01:23

literally be willing to like be like jamming on

1:01:25

the gas when you should be like just letting

1:01:27

the person go In front of you into the

1:01:29

parking garage, right? Yeah And I

1:01:31

think that that's why like enemies to lovers

1:01:34

when it works is like you really feel

1:01:36

like these people are on the edge Yeah,

1:01:39

right. Like there's something about the way this

1:01:41

works that they're just kind of like We're

1:01:45

you know, here's where I am right at the edge. Now

1:01:47

what right? Yeah So

1:01:50

my last books the

1:01:53

last books that I want to recommend are Contemporary

1:01:58

marriage of convenience, right because

1:02:01

I think that is an example of

1:02:04

a trope that has

1:02:07

higher stakes in

1:02:09

contemporary in many ways than it does in historical.

1:02:11

Like I think in historical it's like, I need

1:02:14

a title, okay, I have a daughter, right? Or

1:02:17

like whatever it is. And we sort

1:02:19

of, we use it so

1:02:21

regularly that it can be done on, you

1:02:24

know, on a full scale, full

1:02:26

spectrum of emotion. But in contemporary,

1:02:28

if you're going to set up a marriage of

1:02:30

convenience, it has to have, it

1:02:33

has to be real, right? Why

1:02:36

on earth would that happen without

1:02:39

there being some sort of really

1:02:41

significant stake? Yeah. So

1:02:44

I want to talk about Angelina M. Lopez's Lush

1:02:46

Money, which I think is a

1:02:48

very good example of how this can work. The

1:02:51

heroine of that book is

1:02:54

a billionaire who, a Latinx

1:02:58

billionaire who has had to like

1:03:00

prove herself at every point in

1:03:02

her life in order to succeed.

1:03:04

She is a self-made billionaire. And

1:03:07

she has decided that she wants

1:03:09

to have a child who she

1:03:12

can pass on like all of her,

1:03:14

you know, money and power and strength

1:03:16

too. But

1:03:19

she would like for that child to never

1:03:21

be questioned on any level. And

1:03:24

so she strikes a deal with

1:03:27

an aging king of

1:03:29

a small European nation. Amazing.

1:03:32

And she's basically like,

1:03:34

I will bail out your

1:03:37

country if, with

1:03:39

my billions, like my billions that easily

1:03:41

cover your gross domestic product, right? If

1:03:46

your son basically

1:03:49

impregnates me, like I need an heir.

1:03:52

We both need an heir. And

1:03:55

he thinks he's going for like a

1:03:57

like first time, like

1:03:59

a first date. And it's actually like

1:04:02

a wedding. And then like, yes, sign the

1:04:04

papers. And then like, there is a sex

1:04:06

scene in this at the very beginning

1:04:08

of this book that feels old school in so

1:04:10

many different ways. And

1:04:13

it just feels like this is a good example

1:04:15

of like, and then they have one year. She's

1:04:17

like, I will divorce you in one year, assuming

1:04:20

that this has taken and we are having

1:04:22

like, I have a child, then

1:04:24

we never have to speak again. And

1:04:26

I will bail out your country. And

1:04:28

you will be a national hero. You

1:04:32

don't get this baby. And like, we

1:04:34

never, this is the deal.

1:04:37

He talked about shame, right? He put

1:04:39

the script on everything because he's like,

1:04:42

what the fuck? Like, this is not how

1:04:44

it's supposed to go. But also his

1:04:46

hands are tied because he wants to

1:04:48

save his country. Yeah.

1:04:51

Who wouldn't? And then exactly,

1:04:53

right? And

1:04:56

then the other one is Naima

1:04:59

Simone's Vows in Name Only.

1:05:02

And I think also there's something to the fact that

1:05:04

both of these books are basically categories.

1:05:08

Yeah. They

1:05:10

really have, they both have, neither of them

1:05:12

are how Lekwun presents, but they both

1:05:14

have very like strong presents feel. Yeah.

1:05:19

And Vows in Name Only, the heroine is her,

1:05:25

like both the heroine and the

1:05:27

hero have basically been blackmailed by

1:05:29

her father to marry. Yeah.

1:05:34

And they don't have, neither of

1:05:36

them have any choice. He's holding

1:05:38

like her trust fund, her like

1:05:40

funds hostage for,

1:05:42

you know, it's Naima. So of course

1:05:44

she's like running a like nonprofit

1:05:46

for something and he won't let her have

1:05:49

the money for it.

1:05:51

But it's essential for like a blossoming community.

1:05:54

And the hero is like trying

1:05:56

to protect his mother from a,

1:05:58

you know, really terrible peace. secret

1:06:00

that if it gets out, we'll change everything.

1:06:02

And so and the her father wants the

1:06:04

heroines father wants access to the heroes like

1:06:06

yeah, high level

1:06:09

community. And

1:06:11

it they are forced to marry,

1:06:14

they both know why they are

1:06:16

in it, but they don't know why

1:06:18

the other one is in it. So

1:06:21

like there's also like a secret here, because

1:06:23

if they again, if they tell each other

1:06:25

the truth, the air is

1:06:28

out of the balloon. Another

1:06:30

place where like, in

1:06:32

the hands of great authors, misunderstandings and

1:06:34

secrets work really well. Yeah, I mean,

1:06:36

because that's the thing. It's like, you

1:06:38

have to trust your enemy or someone you

1:06:40

don't write like with your, your

1:06:43

biggest secret. So I

1:06:45

guess I would say the last enemies to

1:06:47

lovers like bucket for me is and

1:06:50

you mentioned this earlier, like essentially like

1:06:53

family feuding, right? Like we're on two

1:06:55

sides of this, this

1:06:57

family, right? Romeo and

1:06:59

Juliet. Yeah. And the one I was going

1:07:01

to talk about is a but again, I

1:07:03

think like in order for the stakes to

1:07:05

be really high, like you have to kind of believe that

1:07:07

there's some real beef between these

1:07:10

two. And so in

1:07:13

Joanna Wilde's Reapers Motor Club

1:07:15

series, book number three is

1:07:17

called Devil's Game. And what happens is

1:07:20

the daughter from

1:07:23

the like Reapers MC, like her dad is

1:07:25

like the president. So she's like the princess

1:07:27

of the MC in some ways, falls

1:07:30

in love with someone from like another

1:07:32

club who is like their

1:07:35

biggest enemies, right? And

1:07:37

so, you know, not only are they

1:07:39

like sort of falling for each other, like

1:07:41

she's like desperate to get out from like

1:07:43

her, you know, like her

1:07:45

dad is like super overprotective. Her mom

1:07:48

died of cancer when she was younger. So

1:07:51

she's like really kind of been raised alone

1:07:53

by she loves her dad, but she's just

1:07:55

like I want out of this, right? But

1:07:58

her dad is like this wild, wild boy. man I think

1:08:00

I'm like reading the blurb or mind myself right

1:08:02

the last time she had a boyfriend her dad

1:08:04

shot him right

1:08:06

and so like these men want to keep

1:08:09

her dad happy and she is looking for

1:08:11

someone who will kind of like

1:08:13

look past all that like well you know not

1:08:15

treat her like like a

1:08:17

stepping stone to her dad or whatever and

1:08:19

so you know

1:08:21

to find someone who Liam is

1:08:24

but like he's in like the

1:08:27

enemy club so it's like

1:08:29

you know she's really like crossing her dad and

1:08:31

and his will but he's also the only one

1:08:33

who would like doesn't give a shit about her

1:08:35

dad right and it's

1:08:38

ultimately a I think

1:08:40

a really it's a really great it's

1:08:43

a great book in the series because the

1:08:45

rest of the series really focuses on the one

1:08:48

like the Reapers and

1:08:50

then this is one that's kind of

1:08:52

like outside of that world because she

1:08:54

wants outside of that world so badly

1:08:56

and again it's like this question of like who

1:08:59

it who I want so badly

1:09:01

to like get out of the world where

1:09:03

I'm defined by my family and

1:09:06

yet I am who

1:09:08

I am because of my family right like I

1:09:11

think it's like a really compelling again mistakes

1:09:13

are really compelling it's good

1:09:16

when it's done right the

1:09:18

best delicious it's

1:09:20

the best I have to tell you like

1:09:22

I like back to like late night love

1:09:25

I could not believe how good the joke is

1:09:27

like how and how pissed this guy guy right well I'm

1:09:29

gonna read it I'm very excited I

1:09:32

have two on my list now

1:09:34

cuz cuz of this yeah

1:09:37

I'm looking at my list is there anything else we

1:09:39

didn't really talk about any friends to enemies

1:09:42

to lovers no but

1:09:44

you know yeah and that's a

1:09:46

whole nother episode maybe oh and I have like

1:09:49

I have Kate Kate Claiborne's luck of

1:09:51

the draw on here right again sort of

1:09:53

a leg it's not quite enemies to lovers

1:09:55

but it is right the

1:09:58

stakes are incredibly high and He really

1:10:00

hates her. Yeah. Right.

1:10:03

Right. I mean, I think there's

1:10:05

that too. It's that question of like, is there,

1:10:08

can it be done with just one? Yeah,

1:10:10

one of them. And I mean, again, I think Kate

1:10:12

is so talented that yes, it could be done with

1:10:15

just one and that book is proof. Well, but

1:10:17

you know what, why should, what she has is shame. Ah,

1:10:19

there it is. Shame and

1:10:22

fury. Yeah. Together at

1:10:24

last. Listen, shame

1:10:26

and fury together make

1:10:28

a great romance. Yeah, they do. But

1:10:31

you know, professional driver, close

1:10:33

course. Yeah. Because it

1:10:35

really can. That like I

1:10:37

said, shame is real tough to navigate.

1:10:40

One of these I was also thinking

1:10:42

about with the JJ Arias book,

1:10:44

which I

1:10:46

can't remember, of course, the title of already

1:10:48

fighting for control is there's

1:10:50

a hint of like, like

1:10:54

shenanigans, like at one point,

1:10:57

Lola has Carmen's like rental

1:10:59

car towed. And

1:11:01

she's basically like, well, it was

1:11:04

like a car parked illegally. It didn't

1:11:06

have the, and my threshold for like,

1:11:08

that like pranks is really, really

1:11:10

low. And I think like, that's

1:11:13

the other thing. It's like, how are you going to show these

1:11:15

two adults? Like they

1:11:17

have to, there's a point at which they

1:11:19

cannot like go past. You have to really

1:11:21

believe like, like, I really believed like the

1:11:23

car accident part. But like, at some point,

1:11:25

you're kind of like what, you know, how

1:11:27

far is too far? Like if it just

1:11:30

evolves into them pranking each other, which is

1:11:32

why although many people love the worst best

1:11:34

man, some of it was like kind of

1:11:36

pranking to me. And so I

1:11:38

think like, that's like the question too, is like, for

1:11:40

me, I really just want the intensity of

1:11:42

like, we are just so

1:11:45

different and you do not understand like

1:11:47

what? Yeah. You know what

1:11:49

I mean? Like back to like late night love, they

1:11:52

like one on their first or second like

1:11:55

show when they're the head writers, like it

1:11:57

flops and they both know it. And

1:11:59

like it's. just like raises the stakes even higher, now

1:12:01

what are we going to do to make it work? So

1:12:04

here's my question for

1:12:07

you about this. And it just occurred to

1:12:09

me. So maybe it's half baked. It

1:12:12

is half baked. Is it

1:12:14

possible to do enemies to

1:12:17

lovers justice inside a romcom?

1:12:20

I mean, anything can

1:12:22

be done, I'll say. Right? Of course.

1:12:24

But I'm thinking like, because I would

1:12:26

say both Ainshi

1:12:29

Sweet, so when I think about romcoms, I think

1:12:31

of Susan always, Ainshi

1:12:33

Sweet and Kissing Angel obviously both

1:12:36

have funny moments, but they are

1:12:38

not romcoms. So

1:12:40

I mean, I'm thinking about it because I think I think

1:12:42

I could come up with like a really solid list

1:12:45

of books where like the characters are

1:12:47

oil and water, but the book

1:12:50

is a romcom. I'm thinking about something like

1:12:52

dating Dr. Dill. You made me think of

1:12:54

this when you get a prank. Or like

1:12:56

the worst best man, a typical comedy in

1:12:58

the book. Right? So we're a

1:13:00

best man dating Dr. Dill. Those are characters

1:13:02

who don't like each other and are

1:13:05

at each other's throats, but are not enemies.

1:13:07

Yeah. And see, that's what I would argue. Because I was kind

1:13:09

of like, would I put the worst best man on here? And

1:13:12

I was like, no, no, right?

1:13:14

Like it's a romcom and therefore

1:13:16

like the stakes are somewhere different,

1:13:18

maybe. I think words have meaning

1:13:20

and I think enemies. Yeah. Has

1:13:23

a very particular meaning, which

1:13:25

is why I isolated rivals

1:13:28

out of this and why I think

1:13:31

romcom maybe doesn't do it right because

1:13:33

we're not right. But maybe romcom just

1:13:35

can't function as a

1:13:37

proper vehicle for enemies lovers. Because

1:13:41

it's just that's not what it's delivering. That's not the

1:13:43

promise of the premise for the reader. Right. No,

1:13:45

I agree. You want two people who are going to be like

1:13:48

funny and cute and like quirky

1:13:50

and charming. That's

1:13:52

probably not the realm.

1:13:54

Yeah. And of enemies.

1:13:56

And honestly, the books

1:13:58

that have been. called brahm-coms

1:14:01

and enemy slovers largely don't work

1:14:03

for me. And I

1:14:05

think without naming names,

1:14:07

right, I'm not necessarily interested in that.

1:14:10

I think one of the reasons why

1:14:12

is because of that

1:14:14

fundamental form versus

1:14:17

function problem, right?

1:14:19

And so then you're really kind of evaluating

1:14:21

like, well, wait, this is too far or

1:14:23

too hard, or wait, this guy is way

1:14:25

too fucking much, right?

1:14:28

And it's very hard to

1:14:30

kind of match

1:14:32

that, right? So I think

1:14:36

that if the scene

1:14:38

is written for humor, it's

1:14:41

not enemies. Right. Right. Right.

1:14:44

And there's a point at which like something else, I don't

1:14:46

know what it is. We need another word for it. All

1:14:50

right, my friends, read more historicals

1:14:52

and paranormals if you want

1:14:54

enemies lovers, I guess is the answer

1:14:56

here. And

1:15:25

don't forget that if your podcast supports it, you

1:15:27

can click on the chapter title anytime we're talking

1:15:30

about a book and buy the book right

1:15:32

now. Oh, and if

1:15:34

you can think of that book that I

1:15:36

just read about the where the

1:15:38

hero is just waiting for the heroine to break

1:15:40

and she never does and then he breaks instead,

1:15:42

please let me know. I would

1:15:44

like to reread it. Me too. I

1:15:47

like it when many break. The real

1:15:49

enemies to lovers right there. Bam. Exactly.

1:15:53

And also as a reminder, everyone, if

1:15:55

you just stick around right after this

1:15:57

episode, we've got an audio sample of

1:15:59

them. My Dark Desire audiobook

1:16:01

from Parker R. Tintington and

1:16:03

L.J. Shannon. Tinting on my

1:16:06

dark desire. She

1:16:10

licked her lips, scanning my

1:16:12

face, naming unsure herself. Do

1:16:15

you need something else? Your

1:16:18

attention. Your impossible words.

1:16:21

Your sweet pussy. Especially

1:16:23

your sweet pussy. For

1:16:26

you to stop murdering my roses. I

1:16:29

blurted out instead, prying the

1:16:31

shears from her fingers. You have no idea

1:16:33

what you're doing. She

1:16:37

laughed a little. I finished

1:16:39

cleaning the entire place and got bored. Humor

1:16:41

me. I said

1:16:43

nothing. I was, in fact,

1:16:45

humoring her, letting her get

1:16:47

away with things I never would anyone else.

1:16:50

Zach? Zach? Pharaoh

1:16:52

frowned. Do you

1:16:54

want me to touch you? Yes.

1:16:58

No. Jesus, I have no

1:17:00

fucking clue. I

1:17:02

felt like I was regressing, Benjamin

1:17:04

buttoning myself back to high school, where

1:17:07

I didn't know how to think, feel,

1:17:09

or act around girls. I

1:17:12

tossed the shears into a bucket of

1:17:14

fresh roses she'd slithered. You

1:17:17

can touch me, I suppose. Though

1:17:20

the kind of touching I had in

1:17:22

mind wasn't something I necessarily wanted my

1:17:24

immediate family to witness. Her

1:17:27

lips twitched, not quite a smile. Try

1:17:30

again. My nostrils

1:17:32

flared. Please, touch

1:17:35

me. She raised a

1:17:37

brow, clearly amused. Where?

1:17:41

Anywhere. Everywhere. But

1:17:44

I had to keep it SFW,

1:17:46

seeing as Celeste Aye was probably

1:17:48

ready to break out the camcorder

1:17:51

and offer industry tips. Face,

1:17:54

I hissed out, humiliated,

1:17:56

and elated all at once, my

1:17:59

whole body trembled. assembled with the admission. I

1:18:02

want to feel skin on my

1:18:04

face. It would

1:18:06

be the first time since the accident, since

1:18:08

his blood dripped into my eyes, running

1:18:11

down my cheeks like tears. We

1:18:14

stared at each other, and for a moment

1:18:16

the world ceased to exist. Birds

1:18:19

did not chirp. Clouds

1:18:21

did not sail overhead. My mother did

1:18:24

not watch us with her disapproving glare.

1:18:28

Faro's chest moved with a ragged breath.

1:18:30

She set the bucket of flowers down

1:18:32

on the ground, her hands rising up

1:18:34

to my face. Tell

1:18:36

me something to distract you, she

1:18:38

instructed, her smile soft,

1:18:40

her voice silk. Something

1:18:43

about the octopus. I

1:18:45

shut my eyes. It has

1:18:47

three hearts. I

1:18:50

bet it loves big. Her

1:18:52

hands almost reached my face. I could

1:18:55

feel them hovering in front of it.

1:18:57

I stopped breathing altogether, bracing myself for

1:18:59

it. It is

1:19:01

a tragic creature, I

1:19:04

countered, popping one eye open. It

1:19:07

can never love. It

1:19:09

is programmed to consummate its reproductive

1:19:11

purpose, procreate, then

1:19:14

perish right after. It

1:19:16

never stands a chance to live. Couldn't

1:19:19

you call me a kitten, then? Faro

1:19:22

scrunched her nose, looking annoyingly

1:19:24

adorable. I'd even take a

1:19:26

bunny. Kittens

1:19:28

are a generic choice. Bunnies

1:19:31

belong in Huhefner's mansion. I

1:19:34

opened the other eye now, shaking

1:19:36

my head, resolute. You

1:19:38

are an octopus. Smart, sophisticated,

1:19:42

tragic. And

1:19:45

then it happened. Her palms

1:19:47

clasped my face from both

1:19:49

sides, bracketing my cheeks. I

1:19:51

sucked in a breath and slammed my eyes shut.

1:19:54

Her warm, damp skin pressed onto mine.

1:19:57

I forced myself to open my eyes to look

1:19:59

at her. Her nails grazed my

1:20:01

skin, a shudder thundered down

1:20:03

my spine. Look

1:20:06

at me, Zach, she smiled. She

1:20:09

smiled. You can do this. You

1:20:12

can touch. Feel. We

1:20:16

stood in the garden like two

1:20:18

trees, sturdy but fragile, swaying

1:20:20

gently with the wind and I couldn't bear

1:20:23

it, how everything slammed into

1:20:25

me all at once. The

1:20:28

memories, the disgust, and the guilt for

1:20:30

wanting to feel her skin still, even

1:20:32

though my father was dead and I

1:20:35

couldn't even remember his dying words. What

1:20:38

happened to you? She croaked. I

1:20:42

shook my head. I couldn't tell.

1:20:45

Couldn't repeat it from my own ears to hear,

1:20:47

let alone hers. Does

1:20:49

this feel okay? I

1:20:52

thought about it. It

1:20:55

feels good, bad,

1:20:58

complicated, and

1:21:01

that's more than I can ever ask for. Zachary,

1:21:05

mom barked from the balcony, dousing the

1:21:07

moment with ice. You are

1:21:09

late and we are hungry. Feral

1:21:12

unclasped, her hands from my face darting

1:21:15

a step back, her neck flushed. I'll

1:21:17

see you at four. She turned

1:21:20

away from me, picking up the bucket of

1:21:22

roses and scurrying toward the front door. Don't

1:21:25

leave, I croaked, the

1:21:28

voice coming out of nowhere. She

1:21:31

paused but didn't turn to face me. Don't

1:21:34

go, she whispered, and

1:21:36

I didn't know why, but everything felt tragic all

1:21:38

of a sudden, like the

1:21:40

octopus, creating life just to end

1:21:43

her own. Standing

1:21:46

on my heel, feeling the sting of her hands

1:21:48

on my face and knowing I wouldn't try to

1:21:50

scrub it clean of her touch, I made my

1:21:52

way to the balcony. Mom

1:21:54

and I sat on the marble banisters,

1:21:57

staring at me like I'd just landed

1:21:59

in a cornfield. on a spaceship

1:22:01

with a SpongeBob propeller hat on my

1:22:03

head. Perplexed did not

1:22:05

begin to cover it. They

1:22:07

looked like they were having an out-of-body

1:22:09

experience. You should

1:22:11

be careful with the staff, Mom

1:22:13

spoke loud enough for Pharaoh to hear. You

1:22:16

don't want a sexual harassment lawsuit. I

1:22:20

didn't answer. Growing

1:22:22

up, people always told me, so

1:22:25

good you survived. But had

1:22:27

I really survived that crash? I

1:22:29

didn't think I did. I'd lost too

1:22:32

many parts of me that day. Still

1:22:34

I lived without living. After

1:22:37

all, survivors are pros at going through

1:22:39

the motions with the weight of everyone

1:22:41

left behind on their shoulders, and for

1:22:43

twenty-one years, that was my fate.

1:22:47

Until now. I

1:22:49

was making progress, slowly coming

1:22:52

alive. Parts

1:22:54

were too bright, food

1:22:56

oversaturated with taste. But

1:23:00

I was no longer dead inside. And

1:23:03

that frightened me.