CW: Lots of Child Abuse

While American Christmas is here to tell you that scampering elves are magical and not malicious, cultures around the globe have Winter Solstice traditions that are a bit more fitting for the time of year when daylight hours are near non-existent and the darkness seems never ending. These traditions often involve violence and goats and sex and fertility and all sorts of stuff that gets right to the heart of the emotionally charged, shortened days of winter: Darkness is scary, and sometimes, all we can do is wait it out. And hope that it comes with cake.

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