We've all heard about the honeymoon phase and that's cute... but what about the hornymoon phase? Topics include dealing with exclusivity rejection, worrying about getting bored of your new partner, pre-screening your partner's libido, when you

Episode 162 - First Date Poo Crimes

Nov 8th, 2021 1h 3m

Before you do anything, take a second and think to yourself, "Hey. Did this happen in Dumb and Dumber?" Topics include a really crappy first date, having the basic essentials of being an adult, a boggling bedtime invitation, mutual masturbati

Episode 161 - Closure Letter Guy

Nov 1st, 2021 57m 39s

It doesn't matter how scathing or witty you think you were, everyone's going to laugh at your letter, dude. Topics include ghosting expectations, the most genuine laughter is fake laughter, should you stay or should you go, writing a closure l

Episode 146 - Dave Matthews' Whole New World

Jul 19th, 2021 56m 54s

This week Dain introduces Niall to a completely unheard of new musical act called The Dave Matthews Band. Topics include sexy lyrics, not judging lowly scumbags, a long distance booty call, a poisoner returns to the scene of the crime, confusi

Episode 145 - Surprised Butthole

Jul 12th, 2021 1h

Really? You're actually going to make me giggle AT your butthole? Topics include on-screen blowjob concerns, a troubling tattoo tribute, using your hobbies to your advantage, navigating kinks to avoid offense, catching your husband in a shitt

Episode 144 - Well, That's a Penis

Jul 5th, 2021 1h

If you've had a tough week and you're coming to your boys for a little bit of consistency... maybe skip this week? Topics include does online dating suck, ignoring obvious red flags, answering questions about penis size, breaking up with a FWB

Episode 129 - Mudblood Mike

Mar 22nd, 2021 57m 46s

I don't have abs or a good brain, I'm pretty much House-Elf Mike. Topics include a step-by-step guide to murder-staring, separating the desire for sex and masturbation, a fishy proposition, the new Arby's vagina sandwich, long distance reconne

Episode 128 - Bugs Bunny's Big Rabbit Penis

Mar 15th, 2021 1h

Do you guys remember that scene in Space Jam where Bugs has an existential crisis over the size of his absolutely massive donger? Topics include Niall and Dain's cancel culture corner, an indecent proposal, the Lola Bunny injustice, talking ab

Episode 127 - The 20 Second Rule

Mar 8th, 2021 52m

This week's episode is a little shorter than usual, that's just to help us transition into a more manageable 20 second format. Topics include the cure for insanity, bringing a gun to a genital fight, fighting your girlfriend's dad for the bill

Episode 126 - Jacksoff Dollop

Mar 1st, 2021 59m 10s

If you're gonna cream your jeans, you might as well make it artistic. Topics include breaking up but in the future, getting very excited by holding hands, love lockdowns and general relationship dread and cutting ties with a lost cause.

Episode 125 - I TikTok'd My Fortnite, Doc!

Feb 22nd, 2021 55m 37s

You know what they say, kids will be kids especially when crippling themselves while sexually pleasuring themselves. Topics include a political hot-take, Sing your own D, living and dating with herpes, being tempted during tough times, maintai

Episode 124 - Live Every Day Like Your Girlfriend Says It's Your Last

Feb 15th, 2021 57m 41s

Are psychic girlfriends becoming more common or are we now just waking up to reality? Topics include a problematic predication, soup spilling seduction, learning where the dishes go, wanting your lingerie to linger a little longer, and texting

Episode 123 - Self-Defense Penis Popping

Feb 8th, 2021 58m 15s

We do our best not provide you with solid advice, but we really want to stress that we don't think it's a good idea to do anything to your penis that would cause it to make any sort of audible noise. Topics include the rarest man, feeling like

Episode 114 - Good Teen Fun

Dec 7th, 2020 59m 4s

There's a very big announcement involving Sexmas at the end of the show, so make sure you stay around to hear what we've got planned. Or you could skip ahead to the end, but we know you wouldn't do that... would you? Topics include learning w

Episode 113 - Spoonful of Cheese

Nov 30th, 2020 1h 2m

During these trying times, its important to check in on your friends and see if they're doing okay especially if they were absolutely never doing okay. Topics include an innovative use of bodily fluids, the desire to be a classy wife, post bre

Episode 112 - The XBox Live School of Parenting

Nov 23rd, 2020 1h 1m

We're just gonna let you listen to this podcast, but we're not giving it to you. Please give us our podcast back now. Topics include historical sex inventions, a reincarnated girlfriend, un-SIMPing your son, lock down lock out, a gift for fut

Episode 111 - How to Categorize Women

Nov 16th, 2020 1h 1m

Aren't you just sick and tired of never knowing whether you want to date, have sex with or just be friends with a woman? Well, have we got a revolutionary trick for you this episode! Topics include psychic girlfriend, giving up sex for religi

Episode 110 - The Horny Truth About Coffee

Nov 9th, 2020 1h 1m

Hey, America! You did a good job and to celebrate we've got a very special episode in which we barely talk about politics because we had no idea what was going to happen when we recorded this. Topics include a surprisingly horny coffee fact,

Episode 109 - Slurpin' Lady Soup

Nov 2nd, 2020 58m 12s

Welcome to this week's episode, if you'll give us a moment, we just have to finish half-heartedly deepthroating this dildo. Topics include PS5 sadness, an abusive song, unexpected dildo desires, reverting to your original stink, neighbourly se

Episode 108 - The War on Boys

Oct 26th, 2020 59m 2s

The lines have been drawn in the sand. You're either with us or against us. The War on Boys begins now! Topics include a brief history of Canadian serial killers, virtual work dress codes, supporting new hobbies, nocturnal smackdown, how to

Episode 107 - Be More Like Chad Kroeger

Oct 19th, 2020 1h 2m

If we could all just take a moment to reflect on our lives for a second and see how we could be a bit more like Canadian rock superstar Chad Kroeger the world would be a better place. Topics include engagement ring fake out, getting out of the

Episode 106 - The Most Romantic Teenager

Oct 12th, 2020 59m 39s

In this episode two very romantic adult men lament the troubles of being romantic teenage males. Topics include only looking for sex online, threesome preparation, dealing with your partner having sex with someone else, teenage romance, a heal

Episode 105 - Wife's Hot Friend Harem

Oct 5th, 2020 1h 2m

Dain brings big dad energy to this one and Niall insults some brains. Topics include fortunes found in foreskin, a murdery update, a rocky honeymoon phase, annoyingly platonic dick pics, being bullied by your wife to sleep with her friend, why

Episode 104 - Diary of a Swimpy Kid

Sep 28th, 2020 1h 5m

This week we bring a very important update regarding #NoSimpSeptember which we definitely take very serious and don't mock at all. Topics include women's inability to understand kindness, the hazards of a 24/7 fetish lifestyle, keeping your re

Episode 103 - Penial Structural Integrity

Sep 21st, 2020 1h 2m

We're usually on the same page when it comes to answering questions, but when we're not we get contention boi energy. Topics include the terrifying power of WAP, just wanting to see some fat dick, vaginal beauty standards, enjoying a sunset wi