0:00

This is the BBC. Hello,

0:31

good morning and welcome to Fighting Talk,

0:33

the greatest show on earth. I

0:36

actually spoke to someone recently and that was

0:38

genuinely how they describe Fighting Talk, the greatest

0:40

show on earth. And I thought that is

0:42

a very bold claim, but yeah,

0:44

I love that. It's just like every cafe

0:46

having a sign outside that says best coffee

0:49

in London or whatever. You can question it.

0:51

You cannot stop them claiming it. Same deal

0:53

with this. You might think this is a

0:55

tired old format. It's just the same old

0:57

guess. Questions recycled on almost weekly basis. Iffy

1:00

choice of host. Doesn't matter. Hello,

1:02

good morning and welcome to Fighting Talk, the

1:04

greatest show on earth. And who

1:06

is lucky enough to be on this simply

1:09

terrific radio program? I'll tell you, making his

1:11

11th appearance, 12th, if you are including the

1:13

time he hosted the show, slightly too well

1:15

for my liking. Conspicuously, given

1:17

his sport of choice, all of

1:19

his appearances to date have been in February, March,

1:21

September or October. He's on

1:24

an eight show streak of reaching defending

1:26

and defensible, of which he's neatly converted

1:28

half into victories. Plucked direct from Easter

1:31

Island, it's England Rugby Union big

1:33

unit, Martin Bayfield. Easter

1:37

Island. That's a compliment. Three

1:39

handsome fellas. Well, basically most of your

1:41

body is buried. Yeah. Fair enough. And

1:43

yet you're still six foot tall. Excellent.

1:45

OK, I'll take that. If someone was

1:47

going to make a statue of you

1:49

and I accept it's a big if,

1:51

where would it most likely be displayed?

1:54

Oh, God, I don't have absolutely no

1:56

idea. Somewhere far away from

1:58

humanity. Easter Island. He's just right

2:01

there, there we go. And I've answered my

2:03

own question. Yeah. The

2:05

half century is up. Her bat is raised.

2:07

Her bat is a relay baton, weirdly. On

2:09

for show number 50, she made her debut

2:11

a month after Martyn back in 2010, but

2:13

has been on far more

2:15

times, because she gets invited even when

2:17

there is an international rugby being placed.

2:20

She is a 10-time Fighting Talk winner,

2:22

former fastest woman in the world. It

2:24

turned out late last time, so it

2:26

starts on minus points, because

2:28

I don't forget these things. Catherine

2:30

Merry! I can't believe I'm being

2:32

penalised for things that have gone past. But then

2:34

again, you're only as good as your last performance, and I

2:36

did arrive late and stroll in, so I

2:38

apologise for that. But when you did eventually

2:41

arrive today, you came in with

2:43

an absolute teaser. You said to everyone,

2:45

guess who I saw on a line

2:47

bike blowing? And

2:49

I'm eager to find out. Who did you see

2:51

on a line bike? Your words blowing. Going

2:54

down Oxford Street. James Corden.

2:57

Corden! I'm 99%

3:00

sure it was James Corden on a

3:02

bicycle flying down Oxford Street when I

3:04

came off the tube today. So much so,

3:06

I stopped my conversation to my friend and said, oh

3:08

my God, James Corden has just gone passing on a

3:10

bike blowing. Because I guess you just said. Sure

3:12

it was him. Yeah, there we go. Another point

3:15

off that. And

3:17

it's a debut for my former

3:19

sports sidekick on Five Live Breakfast,

3:21

turned golf commentator and extremely accomplished

3:23

sports broadcaster. He is the eighth

3:25

debutante of the season. No

3:28

one named Chris or Christian or Christopher

3:30

has ever won the show. Only

3:32

the homophonist Chris Akaboosie has scored a fighting talk

3:34

victory. And that is the first time the word

3:37

homophonist has ever been used on the show. And

3:39

I'll be honest, it's pretty hard to see it

3:41

cropping off again, so enjoy it where you can.

3:43

The Latches here, Chris Latches! Homophonist. It's a good

3:46

word, isn't it? It's a great word. Yeah, nothing.

3:48

All for you, big man. All for you. Is

3:50

that another character or sesame street? That should be.

3:52

Homophonist. That's much better. He

3:55

gets a point for that, can't he? If

3:58

we don't find an opportunity. here for

4:00

you to roll out your impressive Scotty

4:02

Scheffler's mum. Chris, something has gone very

4:04

wrong indeed. I've got an impression tucked

4:06

away somewhere in the show. I hope

4:09

so. On for the 117th time.

4:11

Last time on he scored his 37th victory

4:13

making this the

4:16

18th consecutive season in which he's

4:19

recorded at least one win. That

4:21

is a record. The Dapper Scotsman,

4:23

the cultured Celts, Haggis in human

4:25

form. It's Dougie Anderson! Greg,

4:29

it's a pleasure to be here. A pleasure to be with

4:32

you all on this, which I believe

4:34

is literally an Olympic year. Absolutely right.

4:36

I mean, say what you want about

4:38

Paris that has a few things going

4:40

for it. Yep, the Olympics. Yep,

4:42

that's it. That's one of the things. The Tower. Yep.

4:46

And I'm out. And quite a few

4:48

lights in the evening time. Lovely lights, yeah.

4:50

Alright, let's get going.

4:52

We've got a bit of catching up to do

4:55

after a week off. Please cast your minds back

4:57

to this. Whatever will happen in the future,

4:59

I don't know now. But no club,

5:02

no country for the next

5:04

year, no other English

5:06

club ever. I can promise

5:08

that. Even if I have nothing to eat,

5:10

that will not happen. Even

5:13

if he's got nothing to eat, the Liverpool

5:15

manager has indicated he won't be back in

5:17

the game until 2025 after he

5:19

finishes his spell at Anfield at the end

5:21

of the season. So what next for Liverpool

5:24

and what next for Jurgen once he's had

5:26

his gap year? Start with you, please, Kef.

5:29

Well, it's funny you should talk about eating Jurgen Klopp

5:31

because what is he going to do? Have you

5:33

seen his teeth? Have you

5:36

seen the impressive nash of course I've

5:38

seen his teeth on Jurgen Klopp. Well, he's had a lot

5:40

of reasons to smile when he was at Liverpool.

5:42

So clearly he's going to cash in and spend

5:44

his time by being some kind of worldwide toothpaste

5:47

ambassador just flying around the world showing everyone

5:49

the pearly whites, which he was inspired by

5:51

the way by Fomino from the same doctor.

5:53

He said to Fomino, I like your teeth.

5:55

Where did you get them done? So he

5:57

went to Dr Robbie Hughes in Liverpool and said,

6:00

Give me the faminos, but not as

6:02

bright. So clearly, he's gonna be doing

6:04

some form of work with the tooth that he

6:06

paid a lot of money for. I didn't have

6:08

worldwide toothpaste ambassador on my bingo card. There

6:11

we go. Chris. You might have this

6:13

on your bingo card, Rick. England. And

6:15

win everything, please. It makes perfect sense,

6:17

this. He tried so hard to

6:19

get Jude Bellingham. Couldn't get it over the line.

6:22

Bellingham turned his back, went to round Madrid, but

6:24

if the

6:26

mountain won't come to Muhammad, then Muhammad must go

6:28

to the mountain. Go take over his national team.

6:31

Lead us to everything. It

6:34

would be over if you get this link

6:36

up. Think about that man with those tools.

6:38

Bellingham, Kane, Foden, Rice, the rest of the

6:40

teeth. The teeth, add all of

6:42

it in, the perfect teeth. And he's relinked

6:44

up with Trent Alexander-Arnold just for the pearly

6:47

white smiles. The one thing about

6:49

Liverpool, their future, I just wanna bring you to a text

6:51

from one of my mates this week. He said, oh no,

6:53

no, it's over. They know who they're getting. They're

6:55

going for the Coventry boss. Robins.

6:59

What? Yeah, so he's one promotion

7:01

from League Two, he's one promotion from League One. He's

7:03

a good manager, no doubt. I've been surprised. But that

7:05

for me is the most outlandish shout for who's gonna

7:07

be the Liverpool boss. You get very decent odds on

7:09

that, I think. No, can I just say first thing? You

7:11

didn't ask me the second part, wait for my second part

7:13

of the first question answer. Wow. from

7:16

the beginning of the show, I'm just saying. It could be

7:18

a third. It could be a third, but I'll take the

7:20

hit. I'm gonna talk about Mark Robins being an outsider. I

7:23

haven't asked you, I haven't asked you. I

7:25

will take these hits all day long. I'll

7:27

tell you I won't get it. This is like when

7:29

your mate's parents are arguing and it's so awkward. It

7:33

won't be Mark Robins, but it won't be

7:35

Steve and Gerard either is the second part of my

7:37

answer which I can happily take the hit for. Moving

7:39

on. Yeah, good. Ducky.

7:42

Yeah. Stop talking. I

7:44

will now, I've answered both parts. You're digging a

7:46

hole. You're digging a hole. I don't care. No,

7:48

a bit of science for Ducky, press. Yeah, proof

7:50

is it's where needed that even in Olympic years,

7:52

people can get a tad catchy. I

7:57

would think forget that. No, it's not before

7:59

years people. I'm

8:01

going to say it, I do not think

8:04

he will return to management. He will never

8:06

manage a national team, he will never find

8:08

another club team because he says he's going

8:10

to go on this sabbatical or whatever it

8:12

is, you need the right opportunity to come

8:14

back to it. Now a big team like

8:16

Real Madrid, like Inter or AC, they might

8:18

not be there, they might not have a

8:20

vacancy, he might just be left. Now he

8:22

stresses that youth is important at Liverpool, that

8:25

player is coming through like Conor Bradley of

8:27

course. If Alonso, as we're led to

8:29

believe is going to take over, I

8:31

think it will be a pretty smooth transition. If

8:34

Liverpool were to win the league

8:36

in Alonso's first season, which could

8:38

absolutely happen, then suddenly Klopp

8:40

is this quirky,

8:43

superfluous ex-manager who is

8:46

going to morph into, I think, I fear,

8:48

a kind of sporting

8:50

Russell Crowe. He's

8:53

going to mellow, he's going to put on a

8:55

bit of weight, do some things here and there

8:57

but with the important work behind it.

9:01

Very good answer. And also now I'm starting

9:03

to think maybe it's just a straight sort

9:05

of job swap so he goes and manages

9:08

Coventry. Interesting. Not a

9:10

glamour one but Martin. Well

9:12

the thing that strikes fear into my heart is the

9:14

phrase gap year. He will return as

9:17

everyone does from a gap year

9:19

wearing embroidered yoga pants, sporting

9:21

a henna tattoo. But the thing

9:24

that will strike fear is yes indeed or

9:26

a jade necklace from New Zealand. And what

9:28

will strike fear into people's hearts of a

9:30

certain age will be under his arm, he'll

9:32

gone old school, there'll be a photographic slide

9:34

carousel and he'll put that on the

9:36

projector and he will show photographs of him sitting on

9:38

a beach in Bali, zip wiring

9:41

and bungee jumping in Queenstown.

9:43

There'll be some weird tattoo

9:45

that has translated totally incorrectly

9:47

like Habon, the saliva of

9:49

today, tomorrow's tears of joy. It

9:52

will be just slightly weird and wacky

9:54

as it'll just be as soon as

9:56

people mention gap year in

9:58

the room. just leave the room. But

10:01

equally, you'd be quite happy of

10:03

anyone to sit down and watch a young clock slideshow,

10:05

I think. Actually,

10:08

probably, yeah. All right,

10:10

moving on to question number two, and

10:12

it comes from you, the listeners. And

10:14

this one comes from Chris Woods. Not

10:17

that one, we don't think. It's not that one, is it? No.

10:20

No. Um, let's have a... Sometimes

10:24

that's all it needs. No. Let's have

10:26

a listen to your theme tune. So

10:29

I'm not a gamer, but I think... Is this from...

10:31

What is this? This is Line

10:33

of Duty. I was told it was from Call

10:35

of Duty, so... Perfect. I do know this music.

10:37

What... Are you a policeman? No.

10:40

OK. What, 20 questions

10:42

then? I asked this question a couple of

10:44

years ago about who was

10:47

the best Asian football in

10:49

football and was given

10:51

that theme music. Yeah, OK, that makes

10:53

sense. And we don't bother to change it. Why would we?

10:55

What is your question this time, please, Chris? I

10:59

am, by nature, a pedantic

11:01

so-and-so, and I keep hearing

11:03

that teams or people need a

11:05

result. Well, actually, what they need is a

11:07

win, because

11:10

a result is a loss as well. What

11:13

incorrect things do

11:15

sporting people say that

11:18

annoy you? Mm, that's a

11:20

good one. From a pedant, and

11:22

I am a pedant myself, so I'm fully

11:24

here for this, Chris. Let's start with you,

11:26

Martin. Well, it's not necessarily what they say

11:28

is wrong, but when sports managers, sports stars,

11:30

whatever discipline, are asked a question and maybe

11:32

they are pushed on, why didn't they perform

11:34

well, why has their form dropped off, and

11:37

they say, well, you wouldn't understand, you didn't

11:39

play the game. When did you last play

11:41

a game? When did you last scored a century

11:43

for England? When did you last scored a goal

11:45

for England? Well, don't do that. Tell us. Tell

11:47

us what you feel. Tell us what the journey

11:49

is that you're on. Tell us your experiences. Tell

11:51

us why it's so tough. Don't just shut people

11:53

down and say, well, you didn't play. Of course

11:55

they didn't play, otherwise they'd be the one being

11:57

asked the questions. So, yeah, it just absolutely wrong.

12:00

me. Jaws. And then they

12:02

say, oh well, no, the media are so anti-us.

12:04

Give us something back. Tell us the story. Take

12:06

us on the journey with you. It's

12:10

when those involved in sports say that I'm going

12:12

to give it or I gave it 110%. Or

12:17

maybe 120%, 130%. We get it. We get the point. And I looked at the definition

12:19

of this. Why can

12:24

you say 110% when it's not actually

12:27

obviously accurate and it's to convey determination

12:29

and dedication. It's a way of emphasizing

12:31

that someone will put in extra effort

12:33

and strive to do their best. That's

12:35

100%. You don't need to go on 110%. It's really, really annoying.

12:42

Maybe if you'd given 110% you would have done a bit better.

12:46

I gave 120 and still wasn't good enough. What

12:48

can I do? Well,

12:51

I'm going to give this 131% of my very

12:53

best efforts. Chris, this is a great question. Let's

12:55

you and I stick together. Remember, no Chris has

12:57

ever won fighting talk. For me, 2-0

12:59

is a dangerous score line. We hear this

13:01

from so many managers. 2-0 is a dangerous

13:03

score line. Now managers, by their very being,

13:05

they're optimists, aren't they? No one goes to

13:07

Man City and goes, reckon we might hit

13:09

done 6-0. They all say, we're going to

13:11

cause some problems. Keep it down to 6. That'd be reasonable.

13:15

And we'll try and nick a win. We'll try and nick a win.

13:17

They're all optimists yet 2-0 is a

13:19

dangerous score line. It is not a dangerous score

13:21

line. You've got a 2-goal cushion. If you concede

13:23

a goal, manage the situation managers.

13:25

Tell your team to stop conceding goals.

13:27

Keep the lead. 2-0 is not a dangerous

13:29

score line. That would be one of

13:31

the main things I'd be saying to

13:33

them. Stop conceding goals. Good advice. Well,

13:35

I don't know if you remember, Rick, it

13:38

was December, a different year, a different

13:40

time in many ways. Not an Olympic

13:42

year. No, it wasn't. The last time

13:44

I was on, I was talking about my

13:46

problem with the overuse and misuse of

13:48

the word character by pundits.

13:50

I hope that Chris the caller might have

13:52

listened to that. And if I were to ask

13:54

him that, he'd probably just say, no. But

13:58

I would like to draw your attention to that. adding

14:00

of the words football club to

14:02

emphasize an apparently important point, you

14:04

know for example as opposed to

14:06

saying and there's nothing wrong with

14:08

saying this that's not good enough

14:10

for Liverpool, you'll hear that's not

14:12

good enough for Liverpool football club.

14:14

Who do you think we thought

14:16

you were talking about Liverpool city

14:18

council? But what annoys me the

14:20

most is still the following phrase

14:22

when someone of outstanding talent either

14:24

retires or dies and the phrase

14:26

is this, the word

14:28

genius is overused these

14:30

days. Now ironically

14:34

those bemoaning the overuse of the

14:36

word genius are themselves not smart

14:38

enough to realize that the whole

14:40

sentence the word genius is overused

14:42

these days is overused these

14:44

days. So stop being so sanctimonious just

14:46

get on with praising the poor unfortunate

14:49

that's now dead or retired.

14:52

Yeah nice way to end it on the

14:54

desk most people. Back to Chris Woods not

14:56

that one. Who are you going to give

14:58

the three points to Chris? I do love

15:00

the idea of not giving the points to

15:02

somebody who's about a foot taller than me

15:05

but I have to say

15:07

that another thing that really riled

15:10

me is people saying 100 and

15:12

whatever percent so points have to go

15:14

to cat. She's got to get

15:16

them from somewhere. Thanks very much Chris. Speak to you

15:18

again in a couple of years. I'll

15:22

look forward to it. Likewise. That's a

15:24

bit high-tist isn't it? Yeah the

15:26

best thing about that was was Chris the caller I

15:28

think we can all agree he warmed up over the

15:30

course of the question. Well he couldn't cool down. Yeah

15:32

I know but you know we can only hope that's

15:34

the same for the show. Yes

15:36

yeah that's a good point actually and

15:38

with that in mind question number three. Martin.

15:41

Oh what's the classic? Yeah

15:43

it's the start of February.

15:46

Have you got Six Nations

15:48

fever? Chris Latcham. Actually

15:52

you might get Chris the caller back

15:54

for a second. No absolutely burning up.

15:56

I'm feeling a little bit peaky but I think that's the

15:58

tail end of the show. seasonal cold you can hear it

16:01

in my voice. Now Rick I'm gonna take you back a year,

16:03

two years when you and I work together on the breakfast show

16:05

and Rachel as you

16:07

know really comes into a

16:09

sporting senses this time of year and

16:11

when there's a Lions tour and when

16:13

there's a rugby World Cup she really

16:15

comes to the wicked doesn't she? So

16:17

I needed to know everything because otherwise

16:19

I'm gonna sound arrogant if I don't

16:21

know what Antoine DuPont is doing behind

16:23

the forwards, if I don't know what

16:25

the second string Italian kicker is doing

16:27

in his off time I need to know everything

16:30

and this year I don't do that anymore

16:32

so I could just watch it as a

16:34

fan tune in for the games and

16:36

dial out and that's exactly what I'm gonna

16:38

do. More relaxing. My temperature is probably

16:41

about 38. That's quite low. You need to get that

16:43

checked out sorry. I'll

16:49

bring the temperature up a bit I'm about a

16:51

60-65 I'm a kind of you know my actual

16:54

temperature is 60-65. No no no in

16:56

terms of relative of how excited I

16:58

am on the indicator level. I

17:00

thought you were about to present it. No no

17:03

no no I'm about a 5 out of 10 at the moment folks.

17:05

Do you know what I mean? I don't know what your scale

17:07

is there but I carry on. What

17:09

do you want? What is it on the brofist

17:11

scale? 5 out of 10, 60 degrees in

17:14

terms of temperature on a warm summer evening.

17:16

I'm kind of getting there I think but

17:18

my two faves aren't there which is a

17:20

bit of a blow for me. Fellow Virgo

17:22

Owen Farrell's not involved and I love Owen

17:24

Farrell and I also I'm a

17:26

huge Johnny Sexton fan and obviously now he's not involved

17:28

and have gone off to business. The world of business

17:31

hasn't he? He wasn't interested in a job in terms

17:33

of the coaching role for Ireland so I need a

17:35

little judge to get me going I think. I

17:38

know the players I've got people that work in some roles

17:40

within the teams and I want to see them do well

17:42

so they keep their jobs but I'm hoping it

17:44

will kind of get up and running

17:46

tomorrow but not really at the moment. I'm simmering

17:49

Rick I'm simmering. Do you know what? You

17:51

surprised me with a couple of phrases.

17:53

The worldwide toothpaste ambassador I wasn't expecting.

17:55

Fellow Virgo why don't you? There we

17:57

go. Obviously

18:00

clearly the details don't get me points, no? Yeah,

18:02

no, no, not really. Chris, we're so

18:04

appalled by your answer, he actually left the room.

18:06

Why did you leave the room for it? I

18:08

was blowing disdain out of my nose. Okay,

18:11

I'll let you off. Did you get it all out? I got most of

18:13

it out of it, it's a bit to come. Okay, Dougie, let's see if

18:15

we can get the rest of that disdain out. No,

18:17

I've never seen that before. I was

18:19

talking about the fact you mentioned Rachel, of course, in your

18:21

answer, but I think it pushed it to clarify, other on

18:23

it was Rachel Burden you were talking about, and not Rachel

18:25

Weisz. No, absolutely. No, we wish.

18:29

I'm at a pretty hot 37.9 degrees

18:31

centigrade, which

18:34

is a fever, because the Six Nations is the

18:36

great meteorological sporting tournament, isn't

18:38

it? It sees the transition from bleak

18:41

winter to bammy spring, but it's not

18:43

to say it's without its quirks. One

18:46

such being the fact that Ireland have, of

18:48

course, not one, but two national anthems. But

18:51

there it is. Ireland's called,

18:53

committing to a key change, not

18:55

rival since Belinda Carlisle's Heaven is

18:58

a Place on Air, or

19:00

of Berlin's Take My Breath Away. Completely

19:03

useless, but we

19:05

like it because it is that quirk. And then,

19:08

of course, at this time of year, there

19:10

is the usual false hope, as I'm

19:12

sure Martin will engage with me. Scotland

19:14

are always being touted as, could

19:17

I say, better this year? You know, maybe

19:19

a dark course. Always with that question to

19:22

end it, could this be their year? Well,

19:24

in the words of Chris McCallough, no. Also,

19:28

just being an outside bet on

19:30

a dark course in a six-team

19:32

competition is quite galling over the face. And if

19:34

you ever see a coach off the team, so

19:36

apparently you're an outside bet, you're saying, oh, thanks

19:38

for that. Yeah. Yeah, well,

19:40

it's just a joke, blad. Martin.

19:42

Well, I'm excited, of course, because it means that

19:44

I'm broken out of the cupboard in which I'm

19:47

kept, unless there is a rugby

19:49

match on, and then I get rolled out,

19:51

unlike Cathy, of course, is here for every

19:53

single show. But so I'm rolled out. I'm

19:55

excited, because there is change. There are five

19:57

new captains. There's a couple of new coaches.

20:00

are on the move the Stade de France

20:02

has been prepared for the Olympics so France

20:04

they kick off against Ireland in Marseille a

20:06

magical stadium then they're in Lyon then they're

20:08

in Lille so the French there is change

20:11

there's no one trying to keep on he's

20:13

focusing on the sevens for the Olympics so

20:15

the team is changed Ireland and France both

20:17

hurting from the World Cup where they all

20:19

feel they underperformed as for England no one

20:21

found but Jamie George comes in as captain

20:24

a fabulous play and even better human being

20:27

we've got young exciting players right the way

20:29

through all the teams and

20:31

it is the Six Nations it's there

20:33

is something magical about in England taking on

20:35

Italy in Rome if you ever get a

20:37

chance to go to that game go to

20:39

it invariably England went well they've always

20:41

won they've never lost to Italy but

20:44

I've got to point out the police in

20:46

Italy are the finest looking

20:48

policemen you will ever see clearly

20:50

they tailor they tailor their uniforms

20:53

they look amazing certainly around the

20:55

rugby because

20:57

my last visit there there were two

21:00

policemen walking down the road arm in

21:02

arm smoking wearing clearly tailored uniforms they

21:04

looked amazing why I was really

21:07

getting the fever why have you ended up perving

21:09

on Italian policemen they look fantastic they look fantastic

21:11

you've completely lost your mind but I'll give you

21:13

a proof of it right

21:15

let's check in with the scores pretty

21:18

low scoring which I think is more about me

21:20

forgetting to give points than your answers I've got

21:22

to be honest cap training behind on ten because

21:24

she's lost about four points before we even started

21:26

Chris is on 12 in third

21:28

place where's every time should always be Martin

21:30

on 13 doggy the old

21:32

master another

21:43

point clear all

21:46

right Joe Biden wanted Taylor Swift to

21:48

go to the Super Bowl and date

21:51

Travis Kelsey as it will be good

21:53

for his re-election campaign that is according

21:55

to a number of us largely

21:57

the right-wing TV networks this week what are

21:59

the other sporting conspiracy theories

22:01

you've heard and do you

22:03

believe them? Dougie!

22:06

Well for a long time in Scottish

22:09

football apparently 90% of the referees

22:12

were practicing masons and

22:16

I don't believe that and

22:19

in the 1980s it was said 60%

22:22

of female Eastern Bloc athletes had

22:24

male genitalia which is obviously crazy

22:26

it was more like 30% My

22:32

finger is wavering over there

22:34

I'll give you a

22:37

point and you believe it I've

22:39

got no reason to disbelieve it. No no reason to disbelieve.

22:42

Chris are you familiar with the man in the hat? No.

22:45

A boxing amir Khan? The cat in

22:48

the hat? It's not him okay. I'll

22:50

take you back to December 2011 amir

22:52

khan defending his two world lightweight titles

22:54

against Lamont Peterson and for some reason

22:56

going to his challenger's home city with

22:58

an American rep. How's that gonna

23:00

end? Anyway he gets stopped two points in the

23:02

bout he loses on a split decision and after

23:04

the bout lots of photos emerge

23:06

of this mysterious guy who's in the ear of

23:08

the judges he's in the ear of the match

23:10

supervisor and then he's in the ring with the

23:12

winner Lamont Peterson he's wearing a pork pie hat

23:15

his name is Mustafa Azim he's affiliated

23:17

to the IBS but he has

23:19

no reason to be at that fight what's he doing?

23:21

Very curious. Amir

23:24

Khan anyway he manages to get a

23:26

rematch announced the rematch never happens ultimately

23:28

he next

23:30

fought for a world title against Danny Garcia in

23:32

his next bout and he got switched off in

23:34

the fourth round and he never ever recovered from

23:36

the man in the hat. So crucially do you

23:38

believe it was the man in the hats fault?

23:41

It's pretty dodgy. I mean they signed up that he

23:44

could have a rematch but then he didn't get the

23:46

rematch because Lamont Peterson failed the drugs test so Unsick's

23:48

his health career. I'm buying it. Kath. I'm

23:51

gonna take it back 25 years this year

23:53

is how long it's been since

23:55

the Olympic final in Sydney

23:57

that I ran in and Kathy Freeman won. The

24:00

conspiracy theories are still flying around

24:03

Rick a quarter of a century

24:05

later as to why the defending

24:07

women's 400 meter Olympic champion

24:09

Mary-Joze Perrec fled Australia.

24:13

She was not there to defend her

24:15

title and she said because she was

24:17

threatened, insulted several times, the Australian

24:20

press were against her, she said she was

24:22

harassed in her hotel room by an unidentified

24:24

man who forced his way in. Was

24:26

it like a hat? It wasn't the man

24:28

in the hat that was confirmed straight away, he was not

24:30

in the running for that one. But even to

24:33

this day, when she fled and went home,

24:35

she's never really spoken much about it since. It

24:37

is weird. Do you know what I mean? Because she

24:39

was due to be in my heat in the Olympics, she

24:41

was due to line up in heat five in lane three.

24:43

Did she put the partners on it? Well,

24:45

that's another conspiracy theory that went round as well

24:47

because they know that I live in South Birmingham,

24:49

they know that there's a reputation, they know that

24:51

I'm a big John McGinn fan like Dougie. So,

24:54

you know, I have got it in my toolbox to

24:56

be a bit intimidating, but it wasn't

24:58

me now. So it was a conspiracy theory.

25:01

If Perrec would have been in the final, would you have got a medal? If

25:03

Perrec would have been in the final, yes, I would, yes. Because

25:06

you know why? She only ran two races in

25:08

the year. Immediately, I've been intimidated. I'm fleeing Australia.

25:11

You know why? Because she only had a couple of races

25:13

in the lead up to those Olympics in

25:15

one of my beta. Love

25:17

that. Love that. That is proper fighting

25:20

talk, Kath. Martin, I'm going to stick

25:22

with the Olympics a little bit earlier,

25:24

back in 1980, the Moscow Olympics. And

25:27

you expect shenanigans when the Soviets were

25:29

involved. There's this wonderful story that when

25:31

during the field events, particularly the javelins,

25:34

any of the throwing events, that

25:36

the doors were opened at one end of

25:38

the stadium to give the Soviet athletes the

25:41

advantage when they were spear

25:43

chucking, throwing the javelins, give it just a

25:45

little bit more flight. There was

25:47

this great cartoon by Mack, the cartoonist, of

25:49

a couple sat in the stands. And

25:52

the woman's saying, I wish they'd shut their doors a bit breezy. And

25:54

her husband is sat next to the stand with a javelin through

25:56

his chest. That was

25:59

the theory. The service are on, open

26:01

the doors, let it fly. I

26:03

absolutely, clearly not this, but I love it.

26:06

Okay, time for a quick break as we get

26:08

the news and the actual sport. We'll be back

26:10

with a frenzy of points in a few minutes.

26:13

Bib, what are the Olaf? A perfectionist.

26:15

A tactical genius. The best manager of

26:17

his generation. The best manager in history.

26:20

Reserve team coach, Pevi Kadyola, popular

26:23

former player at the Duke Capital take over from Rykart.

26:25

This is a podcast all about the

26:27

man who has shaped the modern game.

26:30

And she almost says if you solve the

26:32

riddle, she's cracked the port for football. From

26:34

his history in La Macieja to dominating football

26:36

across Europe. He's brought a brand of football

26:38

to the Premier League that we've never seen

26:40

before. Everybody plays like Pap seems now. From

26:42

football, he takes you to heaven. From

26:45

BBC Five Life. Sporting

26:47

giants, Pap Guardiola. Listen, and

26:49

BBC seems. Hello,

27:00

welcome back to the greatest

27:02

show on earth. Welcome

27:08

back to the greatest panel on the show

27:10

this week. Martin Bayfield, Dougie Anderson,

27:13

Catherine Merry and Chris Natshev. Come

27:15

on then, let's hungrily crack open the

27:18

archives. Today in fighting talk history with

27:20

thanks to Ben Humphries on the 3rd of February 2007. Celebrating

27:24

Super Bowl weekend and the announcement

27:26

of the NFL's first UK game, five

27:28

Miami Dolphins cheerleaders were live in the studio.

27:31

They introduced the guests and host and every

27:33

time the scores were announced, cheered the leaders

27:35

name, Gary O'Reilly beat Ellie Oldwright and Mark

27:37

Watson to a final place for Steve Bunce on

27:40

his 50th show took home the win. I mean, of

27:42

course he did. And then 3rd of February 2018,

27:44

special day for Martin. First

27:47

and today only hosting duty for

27:49

Martin Bayfield, helming a six nation

27:51

special. It can't have gone that well, can it? Here

27:54

we go then. It

27:56

is game changer time. Five points for one of

27:58

you and none for the rest. and

28:00

it is set up by Michael Arteta.

28:03

Are you leaving the club in the summer? For

28:06

me? No. That's

28:09

totally fake news where you were

28:11

yesterday. I

28:13

don't know where it's coming from and it's totally

28:15

untrue. I'm really upset about it. It

28:18

did sound upset about it, but I like

28:20

the... I'm really, really upset about that, actually.

28:26

So he says it's totally fake news

28:28

that he's going to Barcelona, but we

28:30

think something that realistically could happen.

28:33

So I want your totally fabricated

28:35

rumours that have a hint of

28:37

believability. So the five points will

28:39

go to the person who finds

28:41

that sweet spot between believable and

28:43

100% made up. Martin.

28:47

Well, rugby is struggling at the moment

28:49

financially and I can see now

28:51

we're coming together of Gregs and Preta Monge. I

28:54

can see Morrisons and

28:56

Waitrose coming together. It is the

28:58

joining of Rugby League and Rugby

29:00

Unions become one game. Just

29:03

rugby. I don't get points for that. I'm automatically

29:05

trying to get any points there because I like

29:07

it. Sorry, sorry. I'll hold

29:09

fire. I'll hold fire. Yeah, it's

29:11

been the battle that's been raging for over

29:14

a century, but it's going to happen. We

29:16

will just have rugby. Kick and clap. Well,

29:18

it's a thing of the past. Bring them all together.

29:21

One big game, all the finances

29:23

into one pot, spread across the country,

29:25

bring all the fans together, Rugby

29:27

League, Rugby Unions become rugby.

29:30

Let me ask you this. Is that definitely

29:32

a bad idea? Er...

29:36

Yes. OK. Because it'll

29:38

become just one sport. Yeah, yeah. No,

29:41

it isn't going to happen. All right. Kath?

29:44

Oh, you really wanted that to happen, didn't you? You really

29:46

wanted Martin to say, you know what? Just maybe. Just

29:48

rugby. Rugby. It's rugby. If they did join CODS,

29:52

that would mean we would lose the

29:54

Rugby League World Cup, which is the

29:56

17th most exciting World Cup tournament going

29:59

out. Okay, make

30:01

it happen. Also, you said you knew what

30:03

you talked about when you said combining the

30:05

codes. I

30:08

didn't notice that, Zuggy. What? Code combination?

30:10

Yeah, go on, Kath. Usain

30:14

Bolt is due to come out of

30:16

retirement for the Paris Olympics. And

30:19

you know why? Because he's kept himself in decent

30:21

shape. Nobody is touching his 9.58 100 metre world

30:25

record. And probably the main reason he

30:28

needs to recoup a little bit of

30:30

cash because it's been a year since

30:32

he lost 12 million. He

30:34

sadly lost 12 million in

30:36

an investment fraud case. He's now got

30:38

three kids. It's an expensive thing,

30:40

as many of us know. So there's the

30:42

reason why you just might see him treading

30:44

the tracks in Paris later this year. I

30:48

like it. I do like it, Chris. Manchester United making

30:51

a lot of changes to their football operation. We've seen

30:53

a new chief exec coming in. They've got a new

30:55

director of football on the way. And Dave Brailsford is

30:57

leading the way. And what they're looking to buy into

30:59

is the marginal game stuff that he did at Team

31:02

Sky. And with that, he's looking to

31:04

bring in his old running mate, the team Dr

31:06

Richard Freeman to Manchester United. They've

31:08

looked at their running stats a little

31:10

bit down on all of their competitors.

31:12

And the feeling within Carrington is

31:15

that Richard Freeman knows one or two techniques

31:17

that can help Manchester United bring up those

31:19

running stats in a jiffy bag.

31:22

Yeah, I'm going to say, I've seen nothing about

31:24

that. Yeah. Ducky. I would like to say something

31:26

about that. And it's a simple thing. Great as

31:29

ever to hear Richard Freeman's name mentioned on

31:31

national radio. I'd

31:34

like to stick with Premier League

31:36

managers. Just a couple for you.

31:39

Next season will be Pep Guardiola's

31:41

last as Manchester City manager. And

31:43

if Newcastle remain in seven position at the end

31:46

of the season, as they are just now, Eddie

31:48

Howe will definitely be sacked. Oh,

31:52

there's some good ones there. I mean, just from a

31:54

sort of legal perspective, I can't give the points to

31:57

Chris, I'm afraid. I really

31:59

like the idea of just rugby

32:01

but then the thing that really gets my juices flowing

32:04

is the thought of, it

32:06

is both. You don't need to do

32:08

it. I already love athletics. You're making

32:10

me love it slightly less but

32:13

it is it's both coming out of

32:15

retirement. I would absolutely love

32:18

that. Popular with our

32:21

listener Chris and popular with me very

32:24

briefly. All right next question after

32:26

threading wins for England and the

32:28

West Indies we heard that Test

32:31

cricket is not dead. Mason

32:33

boss George Elikomi says the FA

32:35

Cup is not dead following his

32:37

size amazing victory over Ipswich. So

32:40

Test cricket and the FA Cup

32:42

live on but what is most

32:44

definitely dead for on

32:46

life support? Dougie.

32:49

Thanks for coming to me first and let's try and... Would

32:51

you like to go... No I'm not quite happy... No no

32:53

no no no I'm happy to help. I'm

32:55

not sure where I want to go but

32:58

what I'd like to do is treat death

33:00

with a good old-fashioned British smile. Yes please.

33:02

Well two things are dying pretty quickly Speedway

33:05

and Greyhound racing. Only

33:07

20 registered Greyhound track left in the UK.

33:09

Combine the coach. Get

33:12

the Greyhound on the bike.

33:14

All the other way around. Hard as to think. There

33:16

are only 19 Speedway

33:18

stadiums left in the UK. I

33:20

mean obviously I use the term stadium extremely loosely

33:22

when it comes to speed. Of course yeah. But

33:24

in a decade even less we'll be down to

33:26

single figures for each. So really

33:29

our thoughts must turn to

33:31

the poor dogs and indeed the poor

33:33

500cc engines. Yeah

33:35

very sad. Very genuinely very sad. I'm

33:37

glad you went first. Christ. When

33:41

I read this question not dead not dead it

33:43

just reminded me of that scene in the office

33:45

where David Prince playing Freelove Freeway and he goes

33:48

because my baby is gone again. He's dead. Yeah.

33:50

She's not dead. She's not dead. But for

33:52

me it's 50 over cricket which feels like it

33:54

is dying of death. Do you know how many

33:56

50 over one day internationals England are playing this

33:59

calendar year Rick? Absolutely not.

34:01

Five. In 2018 they played 24 and the

34:03

following year they went on to win the

34:05

World Cup. So it's dying of

34:07

death. Last year, two years ago, I went

34:09

to Amsterdam and what's England's smash a world

34:11

record? 498

34:14

against some Dutch children. It was a great day. Josh

34:16

Butler's at London, 166 runs. There were some lads behind

34:19

me that were downing drinks every time England hit a

34:21

6. They hit 26 of them. But

34:23

there's just too much cricket being played. There's

34:26

T20, there's franchise cricket, test cricket. There's not

34:28

enough room for all of the eyeballs. So

34:30

something's got to go and I think it's good to go.

34:32

Yeah, I think you might be right. Kath?

34:35

Something that's got to go that is

34:37

dead. Deontay Wilder's boxing career. Oh

34:39

my days, a 38-year-old. I know he's

34:41

43 from 47 wins, but

34:43

I watched when he won bronze at the Olympics

34:45

in 2008. And he's done

34:48

well the lad. He's had a really really good career.

34:50

That would mean a lot, I think, if he's just

34:52

thinking. I think it should. Deontay takes it as

34:54

a huge compliment that you did well

34:56

until you got absolutely pummeled by Joseph

34:58

Parker in December. And he's due to

35:00

fight Jang again this year. But it's

35:02

gone. It's dead. Just give it

35:04

up. Smile at the career that you've had. Don't

35:06

make us wince of what's still to come. Go

35:09

back to lamping mascots in TV studios. That's what

35:11

I was going to say. Well,

35:13

this is a plea, and particularly with Kath

35:15

in the studio. And this is

35:17

heartfelt. And it won't be dead because it's not

35:20

dead when we talk about sports. It's dying. It's

35:22

just gone. It's not dead. Do

35:25

we see enough of it? Please tell me

35:27

that the track and field isn't dead.

35:29

The athletics isn't dead. It can't be,

35:31

can't they? Please tell me it isn't

35:33

because it is so emotive. It is

35:36

almost the rawest, most basic form of

35:38

sporting competition. We don't see enough of

35:40

it. We don't lift it up for

35:42

the levels it should be. It's more

35:44

than just the Olympics once every four

35:46

years and the World Championships once every

35:48

four years. I just fear it's

35:50

going and I don't want it to because

35:52

I'll miss it terribly. Big fan

35:55

of athletics thinks the world is every four years.

35:57

So, loads of points for that. Do

36:00

whatever. And it's another

36:02

reason why Usain will come back and run in Paris

36:04

because it means a lot of things. To

36:07

rescue. I mean look that is the way to get a lot

36:09

of points out of me, just eulogise about athletics and I'm a

36:11

complete sucker for it. Alright next

36:13

question, after getting knocked out in the

36:15

first round of the Open Sou de

36:17

France, Andy Murray took to

36:19

social media to criticise and ask on

36:21

the BBC website, questioning if he's damaging

36:23

his legacy by playing on. Martíne Novratilova

36:25

posted, his legacy would be just fine,

36:28

don't you worry about it, but who

36:30

did manage to ruin theirs and I'm just

36:32

going to give you some guidance there, you

36:34

will lose points if you say Jordan Henson

36:37

as it's too bloody obvious. Chris. I

36:39

just want to say I really love athletics, but

36:42

thank you very much. As

36:45

a kid, my mate

36:47

Martin Davison used to bring in VHS videos of

36:49

Roy Jones Jr. Davo. Great

36:51

guy. I didn't have Sky and

36:53

he'd be like this guy, he's going through the middleweight,

36:55

Roy Jones Jr, he's knocking people out in a round,

36:57

two rounds, three rounds. He moved up in weight, super

37:00

middle, he won world titles, he moved up to light

37:02

heavy, he won world titles and when he was 34,

37:04

his 50th fight, he won, he was 49 and 1

37:06

and the one

37:08

was when he got disqualified, no one was getting

37:10

the better of him. Same with

37:12

boxing, you need to know when to

37:14

walk away. Roy Jones didn't, Roy Jones doesn't. 20

37:17

years on, he's 55, he's

37:19

still fighting, getting beaten up by people who don't

37:21

deserve to be in the same ring as him

37:23

and it's an absolute tragedy. He's

37:26

boxed in luds in Poland, he's boxed

37:28

in Russia, he changed nationalities to boxing

37:30

Russia and he got knocked out by

37:32

the Welshman, durable, if not elite Welshman

37:34

Enzo Macra Nelly. Walk

37:36

away, Roy. Yeah, it is heartbreaking, isn't it? All these boxers doing

37:38

it to themselves. Kath. I'm

37:41

going to keep it on that theme. I

37:43

know this is controversial, but it is fighting

37:45

talk. Mike Tyson, Ian Mike, who

37:48

was the last man to beat

37:50

him? And now Irish tree surgeon

37:52

called Kevin McBride and Kevin will

37:54

be forever remembered as the man

37:56

who retired Tyson. Tyson has shell

37:58

of himself when he lost that fight in 2005 and

38:01

11 months before

38:03

that he'd lost to Danny Williams

38:05

in Louisville. I was part of

38:07

the training Tyson camp and I was ringside

38:09

and I'm thinking this is not good this

38:11

doesn't go very well the end of his

38:14

career was just awful. Did you

38:16

say you were part of the camp? Spiring partner.

38:18

Yeah I travelled over to Scottsdale. What were

38:20

you doing? I lived

38:22

in Scottsdale before I retired from the

38:24

wonderful sport of athletics and

38:26

we had the same strength and conditioning coach and

38:28

we also shared the

38:37

same nutritionist and this nutritionist used to deliver

38:39

six meals a day to Mike to eat

38:41

at certain times. He let them all by nine

38:43

o'clock in the morning so by the time

38:45

he rolled into a ring with Danny Williams

38:48

it was all over so I think

38:50

he's not done very well for his legacy.

38:52

My 12 year old said is that the man that

38:54

used to bite people's ears? So his legacy is a...

38:57

Yeah I'm now thinking I

38:59

want to see Kevin McBride's tree

39:01

surgeon van because presumably he's missing

39:03

a trick if he hasn't sort

39:05

of got Tyson sort of falling

39:07

as a tree. That's

39:09

lovely. I did try to find it you know I tried

39:11

to find that yes I don't know where he's registered but

39:13

I'm sure he's doing well. Martin. Well

39:16

first of all I now find I finally have something

39:18

in common with Mike Tyson that you do your meal

39:20

prep and then just eat all of

39:22

it before lunchtime so there we go that's the only thing.

39:25

So I want to take you to a conversation it's

39:27

one that some people would have seen and

39:29

perhaps the most awkward conversation you'll ever see.

39:32

It is Peter LaFleur sat

39:34

in an airport chatting to Lance Armstrong

39:36

looking for motivation to get back in the

39:39

final of dodgeball and

39:41

he is inspired by Lance Armstrong who

39:43

is telling him well I just fought

39:45

my way back from cancer and I

39:48

won all these Tour de France titles

39:50

and it's an emotional moment it is now one of

39:52

the most awkward things to watch in cinema history because

39:55

we all know what happened to Lance Armstrong. I do

39:57

not go along with the line that we have to

39:59

tell the sports man and woman when they retire.

40:01

So I think Andy

40:03

Murray is enhancing his legacy by just going

40:05

because it shows what a fighter, what an

40:07

absolute dog, he's a pugilist with a racket

40:09

in his hand, he's an absolute legend and

40:12

no one should tell him when to stop.

40:14

But surely the greatest explosion

40:16

of legacy is Lance Armstrong. Yeah,

40:18

hard to argue with that, Dougie. Yeah, it's a great

40:21

answer. I'd like to stick on that theme and talk

40:23

about fascism. Paolo

40:25

Di Canio, what incredible

40:27

skill, incredible goals, especially

40:29

for Wes Ham. And what

40:31

incredible fascist salutes to the latsio faithful in

40:33

the Curvan North, which is what people kind

40:36

of remember him. Now not the

40:38

great player he once was with eyes

40:40

as mad as eyes can get.

40:42

And you know what, you could

40:44

argue, I say you could argue,

40:47

I will argue that Sebastian Vettel

40:49

joining Ferrari was a terrible movie,

40:51

was the most successful driver on

40:53

the grid, he won four championships,

40:55

goes to Ferrari, internal politics, faulty

40:57

cars, never won a championship again,

41:00

ended up a mid-table driver, very much

41:02

the fullum of Formula One. Yeah,

41:05

it's ahead of a pivot from Paolo Di

41:07

Canio's fascism to... It's a pivot. Yeah.

41:10

It's a pivot. And we enjoy pivot on this show.

41:14

All right, let's have a quick look at

41:16

the scores. Tight, it's

41:18

tight. Chris, trading slightly on

41:22

24, Martin on 27,

41:24

an absolute

41:26

charge from Cath, seeing her

41:28

level with Dougie on 28. And

41:31

of course we have found this little cheat code

41:33

to get points out of me. So,

41:35

enjoy yourselves. Last

41:38

question. The biggest story on deadline day

41:40

was Lewis Hamilton's move to Ferrari. The

41:42

January transfer window passed by again without

41:45

any sort of blockbuster moves really. And

41:47

so what else sucks you in every

41:49

year that you think will be great

41:51

but never is? Again, a bit of

41:53

guidance. You will lose points if you

41:55

say fighting talks, it's too bloody obvious.

41:59

Dougie. I still get a little

42:01

bit excited seeing a new sticker album at

42:03

the start of a new season or indeed

42:05

a new tournament Yet I still think it's

42:07

a pathetic sight to see a grown-up adult

42:09

buying one no matter what the circumstances are

42:11

Just getting it for the kids. No, you're

42:13

not No, you're not They're not allowed

42:15

to see you anymore Hahaha She's

42:19

turned the wains against me Hahaha I'm

42:23

gonna be controversial again. Why not? The

42:27

Super Bowl Ohh And I

42:29

tell you why for me and it is a very

42:31

personal opinion and it is based on experience I

42:33

know it's probably going to be good in Nevada when

42:36

the Chiefs take on the 49ers and I will attempt

42:38

to again No, no, no, no, but I

42:40

have to build up I think this one should

42:42

be good, but I get suckered in every year

42:44

and I don't do my prep properly I

42:46

don't set my alarm. I don't sleep in the day So

42:48

I never make it through some of the good bits of

42:51

the Super Bowls that have been good And

42:53

I think I'm still scarred by the 2013

42:55

Super Bowl when the Denver Broncos got

42:57

embarrassed by the Seahawks in one of the

42:59

worst Super Bowl routes ever So

43:01

I always get into it, but then I just

43:04

find them like, oh, it's just kind of come

43:06

and gone really So I know it's controversial, but

43:08

I guess it sounds more about you than

43:10

about the Super Bowl actually It was about

43:12

my organizational skills Really ultimately Yeah, that's fair

43:14

enough The Masters since

43:17

2011 Because

43:20

of Rory McIlroy Because

43:22

of every Masters I think please, dear

43:24

God, let this be the one where

43:27

he gets the grand slam It

43:29

is one of the most elusive prizes

43:31

in sport I desperately want him to

43:34

have it He has carried the sport,

43:36

he's carried the politics of the sport,

43:38

seemingly the years And I just desperately

43:40

want Rory McIlroy to get that The

43:42

images of him in 2011 when his

43:45

final round just collapsed, he was broken,

43:47

he was a young kid Now I just

43:49

want, but every year there is that one round

43:51

that puts him out of contention And

43:53

it's painful to watch, I want him to get that grand slam He

43:56

has been carrying the politics, although just lately it looks like

43:58

he's maybe a bit fed up Yeah, maybe he's had

44:00

enough. I don't blame him.

44:03

I don't blame him. He hasn't had a lot

44:05

of support. Chris. When I was a kid, I

44:07

used to love WWE wrestling. I'd watch Monday night.

44:09

I'd watch Smackdown every week, wait for the monthly

44:11

pay-per-view, and I would not

44:14

miss a single show. Now I'm 39 years

44:16

old, two kids. I don't do any of those

44:18

things. But every year, this time of year, the

44:20

Royal Rumble comes round. And I'll always tune in

44:22

to the Royal Rumble match. Not interested in the

44:25

rest of it, but the 30 men over the

44:27

top rope. No man leaves until both feet fit.

44:29

That's the accent. And the winner goes

44:31

on to WrestleMania. Brilliant. Love the storytelling.

44:33

Love the showmanship, all of that. I

44:35

watched this year's event. There was not

44:38

a single moment that made you go,

44:40

wow, look at that. Last year, Logan Paul was in it,

44:42

and he jumped from one side of the ring to another, smashed

44:44

into a guy in the middle of the ring. That

44:46

was a moment. It went viral. Something like

44:49

34 million shares online this year.

44:51

Literally nothing. I was watching it. I told you my

44:54

age, 39. I got to the end, and

44:56

I went, that is it. I'm

44:58

not coming back next year. You're done. You're done.

45:01

40 and out. It's not.

45:03

It's not. It's broken through.

45:05

Shattered man. It is shattered.

45:07

We're all having a good time, right guys? We're

45:09

all having a good time. That's the dark side

45:12

of sport, isn't it? Small time to say. We

45:14

can't see 30 men smashing into each other in

45:16

a wrestling ring. What has the world

45:18

come to? Have you ever been invited? You'd be

45:20

good. Wrestling. Yeah, going for

45:22

a wrestling. No. I'm not

45:24

allowed out of my fighting talk cupboard. No,

45:26

that only is. You can't be trusted. You

45:28

can't be trusted. What would be

45:30

Martin's character? We haven't got time. We haven't

45:32

got time. I mean, I'm sort of thinking

45:35

we just reboot... Join

45:37

Haystacks, don't we? Oh, wow. Can you reboot Join

45:40

Haystacks? No, I thought, yeah, yeah, you could reboot

45:42

him. Well, there we go. More like a

45:44

sort of part of compost. Yeah. Right in

45:46

the chinese. That's what you emerge from. That's

45:49

a hell of an entrance. Just a massive wheelbarrow,

45:51

and then you burst out. Look,

45:54

I'd like to see it, and I think Chris will watch it next year.

45:57

I'm back, baby. Fantastic.

46:00

Any other business from Dougie first

46:02

please? Okay, I'll be quick. There's

46:04

no doubt about it. We are

46:06

entering awards season. The old Oscar

46:09

buzz is in town. Emma Stone,

46:11

rightly touted for her performance in

46:13

Pure Things. It's amazing, but... And

46:16

here's the big recommendation of the weekend.

46:18

Is anyone watching The Curse? With

46:20

her and Nathan Fielder. This is sublime

46:23

television. I recommend... Well Martin, after The

46:25

Six Nations, you're going to be back

46:27

in your little box of work. You

46:30

don't even get a television. No, no, you can't be

46:32

twisted. Okay, well thoughts with you Martin and of course

46:34

the immediate family. Yeah. You were going to get more

46:37

points there because my wife's in a sitcom called The

46:39

Curse, but you weren't talking about that one. I

46:43

do a lot of travelling from Manchester down

46:45

to London and occasionally use the M6 toll.

46:47

The other day... Oh! I... Well,

46:49

yeah, quite. The other day, go to the

46:51

front... Trying to pay with

46:53

the conference. You can't pay on your

46:55

phone. You need a cash card. Who's got a cash card

46:58

in 2024? It's Guy.

47:00

It's Guy. Just

47:02

me then. Well, someone's only 39. Yeah.

47:05

People fibbing their horns at me. There's literally nothing I can

47:07

do. There's a barrier. I can't go forwards. I can't go

47:09

backwards. There's something you can do. You can just have a

47:12

straight through. Well, and

47:14

this brings me to my point. Why do we have

47:16

kiosks on a road that we're paying money to save

47:18

time? Get rid of the kiosks. Have an app. Let

47:20

me fly through it. I'll pay on the app. If

47:22

I don't pay, find me £50. Gee,

47:24

she's only got over kiosks. Wow. He's young. He

47:26

doesn't like kiosks. And he's happy to buy a

47:28

£50 fine. This guy's doing okay. Oh,

47:32

and loaded as well. Clearly. Very,

47:35

very quickly. Zebra crossings do

47:37

not make you immune

47:39

from being knocked over and severely injured.

47:41

The amount of people... No,

47:43

no, no. It's a very quick one. But I've nearly knocked

47:45

over at least three people in the last two weeks.

47:47

Because people walk up to zebra crossings and think that

47:50

they then have this magical right just to keep walking.

47:52

No, you have to stop. Which they do, I think. No,

47:54

no, no. You stop. That's what I tell my

47:56

children. Make sure nobody's within a hitting distance of you.

47:58

Then you cross. You don't just... It's

48:00

more funny because it's all a good call. It's

48:02

all breaking distance. Now, now, you know

48:04

what to do if you're the person... Well, driving theory says a

48:07

number of times. If you

48:09

are the person walking at a zebra crossing, what I

48:11

do is... Zebra face. Sorry, Zebra. This is genuinely

48:14

what I do. I pretend, because you need to

48:16

wave at the driver, you know, so they get

48:18

annoyed. I pretend I've sunk a long putt and

48:20

the crowd are applauding this. St Andrews, it could

48:23

be any crowd. You're up. And

48:25

I just give a little wave as if, you know, and

48:27

onto the 16th. Lovely

48:29

tip. What are you guys... We're all going to

48:31

be doing it now. Martin. Well,

48:34

previously, this is a show on the rare occasions I'm allowed out. We'll

48:36

know that one of my great pet-aties, one

48:39

of Satan's inventions, is the digital keycard for

48:41

hotel rooms. You cannot understand them. But

48:43

I've witnessed a new kind of hell has been unleashed.

48:47

Checking into a hotel the other day, they said, could

48:50

you let us know, sir, what time might you be leaving? So

48:52

it's like, I have no idea.

48:54

I have no idea how comfortable your bed is.

48:56

I have no idea what time I will get

48:58

to that bed. But most importantly, I do not

49:00

know how good your buffet is for breakfast because

49:02

do I just go for one breakfast or do

49:04

I have the Holy Trinity of the... Of

49:08

just the breakfast bar, the cereal bar, then

49:11

full English and then the greatest breakfast of

49:13

all, the eggs Benedict, and do I do

49:15

that twice? So do not ask

49:18

me when I'm leaving when I've only just arrived.

49:20

It just does not put me in a good

49:22

mood. OK, there we go. He was generally

49:25

quite angry there, a little bit red in the face. Right,

49:29

finishing in last position, which is not a disgrace,

49:31

as if there be some... Chris on 35. Oh,

49:34

it happened. Kath narrowly missing out

49:36

on the final, despite

49:38

getting about 15 bonus points, I think,

49:40

38 points. Martin

49:43

on 39. Ducky on 40.

49:46

England against Scotland, if

49:49

you want to put it like that, which I do. So

49:51

Martin and Ducky go into the head-to-head, defending

49:53

the fence of all. It is a ridiculous

49:55

statement. You have to answer it however much

49:57

it hurts. If I say I, I

49:59

mean... you. Dougie, you've scored the

50:01

most points so you will go first. You have

50:03

20 seconds on

50:06

this. It is impossible

50:08

for Andy Murray to tarnish his legacy because

50:10

he's always been rubbish. Well

50:13

you know how rubbish you are when your

50:15

mother becomes more famous than you during

50:18

your professional career. He's

50:20

won what, three titles when everyone else

50:22

was winning 15 to 17? Andy

50:24

Murray is no good even his little brother is

50:26

still playing better than him and he only plays

50:28

doubles which is the rubbish equivalent of

50:31

what Andy played. Poor

50:33

show Andy. Good. Martin

50:36

Bayfield you have this.

50:38

20 seconds on after

50:41

a time from England this week Danny

50:43

Cipriani deserves a statue outside of Twickenham. Well

50:46

he does indeed because as we know rugby

50:48

is an elite sport we do not like

50:50

people below a certain income bracket to watch

50:52

our sport but Danny Cipriani has

50:54

welcomed those people in the people

50:56

who reach surreptitiously for the top

50:58

well second top level of magazines

51:00

just all the look of magazines all

51:03

the strange sort of weird weird

51:05

stuff that only Danny Cipriani can bring

51:07

to a game which is so strictly

51:09

managed. Oh

51:11

I mean can I have a tie? I don't think

51:14

I can have a tie. I think I'm gonna give

51:16

it I'm gonna give

51:18

it to Dougie because it's a good point about the mother. Thank

51:21

you. And it just gets your win for 2024

51:23

under your belt. Thank you very much everyone.

51:28

Kath, Chris, Martin you have tarnished the legacy

51:30

of the greatest show on earth get out

51:33

my sight. Goodbye this has been a world's

51:35

own production for BBC Radio 5 live and

51:37

now 5 live support will be on after

51:39

the news. Hello

51:41

you're listening to the podcast extra of fighting

51:44

talk we've got a story to come from

51:46

Martin but first a question that we didn't

51:48

have time for on the show which is

51:50

this Manchester United keeper Andre Anana travelled 6,000

51:52

miles to the African

51:54

cover nations to make one appearance and

51:56

make zero saves for his national team

51:58

Cameroon what sporting journeys have you made that

52:00

have been a total waste of time. Now part of

52:02

the reason we dropped this is because we asked exactly

52:04

the same question two weeks ago. Start

52:07

with you please Kath. As

52:10

an athlete we used to like to travel very

52:12

directly, you know get to a venue or a

52:14

meeting as quickly as we could and in May

52:16

2000 it was Olympic year, Dougie, which

52:18

I know you're all over. 2000. I mean

52:21

people bang on about the millennium but

52:23

it was all about those Olympics which

52:25

were held of course in Sydney. Sydney,

52:27

yeah thanks. Yeah yeah I was there

52:29

and we had

52:31

a race in May right in Henglo in the

52:33

Netherlands which is in the east part. It's quite

52:36

tricky to get to, we had travel delays, it

52:38

took flipping ages and we finally got there and

52:40

got off the plane and thought oh it's a

52:42

little bit blowy, not going to run

52:44

fast, a little bit blowy. Well that blowy went to

52:46

a full-on storm, things around the track were flying everywhere,

52:49

the benches for the high jumpers, all the tents and

52:51

all that kind of stuff and for the first time

52:53

ever in 15 years of

52:55

international athletic meetings it got cancelled

52:58

and we all sat there and went oh you are kidding

53:00

me. So I had to wait for the storm to

53:02

go before we could travel home, it was an absolute

53:04

nightmare but the watch so it's a complete waste of

53:06

time and a complete waste of a race. Do you have a decent

53:08

night out in Henglo at least? No well it was May, the

53:10

Olympics were coming which is quite important but we always

53:13

used to sit there as athletes guys and go was

53:15

Perak there? No she wasn't. I

53:17

think scared of you. Oh you know what

53:19

it was about two weeks before I then beat her in

53:21

France but we always used

53:23

to sit there as track and field athletes and

53:25

go well at least I'm not a pole vaulter,

53:28

that was our kind of line not because of

53:30

the wind and the vaulting because they used to

53:32

travel around and they had nightmares with their poles

53:34

with the aeroplane. Some airlines won't take the poles,

53:36

I've got colleagues that have had their poles sewn

53:39

in half and come off the plane like a

53:41

magic trick in two kind of bags like a magic trick to get on,

53:43

oh they've lost them and they pay a couple hundred quid a

53:45

time to take these poles around the

53:47

world so at least we weren't pole vaulters but

53:49

a complete complete waste of an athlete's time when

53:51

you're on a tight schedule trying to run fast

53:53

when it matters. Yeah that is a

53:56

good one Martin. Well my wasted journey is

53:58

actually around about 250. meters

54:00

of a journey, but it is still a journey.

54:02

It's 1997, it's the early days of European rugby

54:04

in the newly professional game of rugby, and

54:07

my career is slowly, slowly creeping to an

54:09

end. And I'm not selected for the game,

54:11

so I'm in that purgatory that all players

54:13

have to endure doing corporate hospitality at your

54:16

rugby club. So I'm now two curries and

54:18

about five beers deep. When

54:20

the message comes up, we have too many non-qualified

54:22

English players in the squad. You're on the bench.

54:25

So I weave an unsteady path to the changing get

54:27

dressed, sit down next to Tim Robber who said you

54:29

smell like a tramp. If I'd gone

54:31

on in the first half, I would

54:33

have been sensational. Come the second half,

54:35

I am asleep, drooling down my chest.

54:38

I was not seen again. That was

54:40

a wasted journey. Love it. Dougie? This

54:44

is a bit London-ish, I apologize to those

54:46

who don't live in the metropolis, but I

54:48

once undertook an arduous journey. I had

54:51

the behest of my friend who's a

54:53

Knotts County fan. Knotts County were playing

54:55

Crystal Palace, not even in the league,

54:57

in the League Cup. August,

54:59

that was. So it's the early stage of

55:01

the... Yeah, sure, I'll go. Had to get

55:04

from North London to sell how House, Sellers

55:06

Park. Terrible journey. Took forever. Rush

55:08

hour. Got to outside the ground.

55:10

I received a text from my friend Joel. You

55:12

know Joel as well, right? Oh, yeah. It's

55:16

just a question. I've got a

55:18

spare ticket for the Rolling Stones at Twickenham tonight. Do

55:20

you want it? Absolutely

55:23

not. Yes, I'll

55:25

come to the home of rugby, absolutely. Yeah, so

55:27

I ended up going to Twickenham to see the

55:29

Stones place, supported by the Charlatans, and never went

55:31

to see Knotts County against the Crystal Palace. No

55:33

idea what the score was to this day. Yeah,

55:36

one of the great regrets. Chris? Unlike Catherine's athletes,

55:38

when I was a student, we like to travel

55:40

very indirectly, just to keep the cost down as

55:42

much as possible. We want to watch David Hay

55:44

against Vladimir Klitschko in Hamburg, flying

55:46

into Berlin, getting a train to Hamburg.

55:48

When we arrived, I realised that I booked a

55:50

hotel for the wrong weekend. There was

55:52

a festival in Hamburg that weekend, as well as thousands

55:55

of fight fans coming in. There were no hotels available,

55:57

so me and my brother just said, you know what

55:59

we'll do? We'll go to the fight, we'll drink

56:01

through the night and we'll just get

56:03

back to Berlin in the morning and you know, we're

56:05

young, we can do this, we're not 39. You're

56:08

an absolutely flawless plow in this. We

56:12

went to the fight, David Hay has an

56:14

absolute stinker, loses every round, blames a gammy

56:16

toe, absolutely pathetic. He's wearing a hat in

56:18

the crowd. It rains biblically, we leave without

56:21

even waiting for the announcement because we knew he'd

56:23

lost. We get the first taxi back to Hamburg,

56:26

the Rieperbahn and we're sitting drinking

56:29

unmarked German strong lager, getting drunker and

56:31

drunker and drunker. It's about 4am, ended up, said to my

56:33

brother, I need to get out of here. We went to

56:35

the station, slept on the platform

56:37

floor, waiting for the first train back

56:39

to Berlin. I had a little bit

56:41

of sick down my jacket. We get

56:44

to Berlin, we fly home the next

56:46

day. Until now, we've never

56:48

spoken about that weekend. Yeah, you wouldn't want to speak

56:50

about that. I've got some bad news for you actually,

56:52

Dougie. The fighting talk

56:54

team have been digging into that

56:57

Notts County Crystal Palace. Oh, one of the

57:00

great cup sets. Oh

57:02

really? 2-1 to Notts County. So,

57:05

more for you. An

57:08

absolute classic I'm hearing. Alright, okay, well they

57:10

still talk about that on the black

57:12

and white side of the train, I suppose you could

57:14

say. Yeah, not many people do say that, but yes.

57:18

Alright, a quick one. It is, you'll

57:20

know this, it's National Carrot Cake Day. But

57:23

who was the greatest orange thing

57:25

in sport or sports person

57:27

to do it in orange? I've actually got the right

57:29

answer written down here and I'll give you three bonus

57:32

points if anyone gets it. Start

57:34

with you, Chris. It's not going to be

57:36

your answer, but it's the right answer. It's

57:38

Ian Holloway's Blackpool, although they prefer tangerine to

57:40

orange. Take you back to 2010-2011, their one

57:43

and only Premier League season. They won their

57:45

opener 4-0 at Wigan. They

57:47

did the home and away double against a team that one of our

57:49

presenters might support, but I'm not going to say it because they don't

57:51

want to lose a point. They scored 55 goals

57:54

in that season. That is the most of

57:56

any relegated team in all of the 32

57:58

Premier League seasons. Absolutely. remarkable. They

58:00

were the great entertainers with Charlie Adam in

58:02

midfield, DJ Campbell up front. I saw Ian

58:05

Holloway the other day and I said, Holly,

58:07

I loved your Blackpool team and he went, football's

58:10

all about having a go and we gave it

58:12

a right go! Another

58:15

impression enjoyed it. Cass.

58:18

Good old Holly, hey. You know like that. Holly the

58:20

other day, I love that. He likes it. Sports

58:23

person to do in orange, orange,

58:25

ginger, either or. You and Thomas,

58:28

a hundred percent my track and fieldmate,

58:30

you and Thomas, the original ginger wizard,

58:32

I have to tell you, before Greg

58:34

Rutherford won Olympic gold in 2012, the former 400 meter

58:38

British record holder, he held that record for 25 years

58:41

and it only went in the last

58:43

couple of seasons. Now 50, a

58:46

dad of three, so he's now got

58:48

his complete four by four relay team in his

58:50

own backyard, Rick, he's bubbling, you and he's

58:52

bubbling. But he doesn't wear it with pride

58:54

though, he's been bleaching the hell out of

58:56

that hair forever. I'm

58:59

not saying anything to that. I'm just saying, I'm just

59:01

saying. Okay, Martin. Every

59:04

now and again, I believe it happens, there

59:06

might be an answer where you try and

59:08

hide the fact that possibly you did a

59:10

bit of research into an area that is

59:12

not your forte. This might, might

59:15

be it. So

59:17

let me describe this character creature

59:19

thing, a seven foot tall, orange

59:21

hellion, a fuzzy eldritch horror,

59:23

a ghastly, empty-eyed muppet with a

59:26

delco beard, a cross of snuffleupagus

59:28

and Oscar the Grinch, a deranged

59:30

orange lunatic, an acid trip of

59:32

a mascot, a shaggy orange wookie-esque

59:35

grotesquely. I'm talking about Gritty, the

59:38

Filly Flies mascot. So the Filly Flies,

59:41

they didn't have a mascot, they introduced

59:43

Gritty, this crazy obscene thing,

59:45

who threatens the other mascots.

59:48

So he was trolled by the Pittsburgh

59:50

penguins mascot and he replied on social

59:52

media, sleep with one eye open tonight,

59:54

bird. He is a vicious,

59:57

nasty, that may or may not be

59:59

the answer. I looked up

1:00:01

online. I think that we've actually got your

1:00:03

character for the Royal Rumble Well,

1:00:08

I think an important shout-out to the

1:00:11

halftime orange still very much king king

1:00:14

of the school playing fields and but

1:00:16

it has to be Johan

1:00:18

Christ, yeah, when you have

1:00:20

a turn a turn named after you you

1:00:23

are Unquestionably a legend and

1:00:25

you know what guys the

1:00:27

word genius Oh

1:00:33

Rick there's gritty I pulled the I mean You

1:00:37

wouldn't even really do much with the face. You're there He's

1:00:40

a looker. I've got half time orange story.

1:00:43

Yeah Have I got time?

1:00:46

No, you're doing the podcast. Okay, but let's

1:00:48

not forget. I can I'm you know, you got the right answer

1:00:51

It's the carotid boys the the fellows who

1:00:53

dress as carrots and follow Yannick's dinner around

1:00:55

and now for Martin story

1:00:57

about Oranges oranges. Yeah. Well,

1:01:00

yeah, so you mentioned about Doug you mentioned

1:01:02

that the greatest orange surely is the halftime

1:01:05

orange Yeah And what I

1:01:07

think people might find strange to believe is

1:01:10

up until fairly recently at halftime in a

1:01:12

major international any rugby matches We would stay

1:01:14

on the pitch at halftime So

1:01:16

the whistle blow we'd retreat to the half of our

1:01:18

half and we'd sit in the circle Like

1:01:21

kids on some school trip and I was a bit like

1:01:23

playing fire the side Yeah, yeah I've become some youth with

1:01:25

a catering size pot of tea and a plate of citrus

1:01:27

fruits and we would set the sit there

1:01:29

Sucking on an orange while the coach is telling us

1:01:31

what we're doing wrong The chaos that

1:01:33

then occurred when they brought in the regulation that we

1:01:36

could go to the into half the trade rooms a

1:01:38

half-time So I vividly remember

1:01:40

this play for North Anthony gets Nottingham. It's the first

1:01:42

game of the new season So

1:01:46

if we go to the dress I'm looking around now

1:01:48

We had this wonderful guy from oral play for the

1:01:50

Saints guy called Martin Eins. I'm looking

1:01:52

around going where's Heinze? And

1:01:54

the oranges are out. We still have the oranges

1:01:57

and I can hear a shower running and

1:01:59

Heinze appears about a minute later with a towel around his

1:02:01

waist he just looks at he goes oh

1:02:03

bloody hell it's half time isn't it? Get

1:02:08

back on. Al for the

1:02:10

second half. The lid is so fresh. Yeah. The

1:02:13

smelling of Lynx Africa. And the first scrum is

1:02:15

off to the number goes mate you smell amazing.

1:02:17

Well that's a good way to end it. The

1:02:21

half time orange. Thank

1:02:23

you everyone. Have a lovely weekend. On

1:02:26

the Football Daily Podcast. The Women's

1:02:29

Football Weekly. With me, Ellen

1:02:31

White. And why

1:02:35

can we call the Women's

1:02:53

Football Weekly Podcast. New

1:02:55

episodes every Wednesday. Subscribe to the

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