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Common Sense needs to be renamed because

0:15

nowadays it's rare. I'm Ric

0:17

Edwards and this is Fighting Talk. Good

0:31

morning and welcome to the show

0:33

that repeatedly asks questions that disappoint, that

0:36

we think are good. But to be fair, we are

0:38

not in a great shape. So who is walking out

0:40

in a huff this week when I query their intensity

0:42

levels? Making her 49th appearance after

0:45

setting a personal best score of 63

0:47

on her last show with Colin, she's

0:49

come outright last on both of her shows with

0:51

me so far. I think maybe we

0:54

need to bond. She made her Fighting Talk debut

0:56

17 years ago tomorrow. She's the only badminton player

0:58

you've ever heard of. It's Gail Emms. Hello

1:03

Gail. Hello. So I've got to

1:06

do better than last place, OK? Well ideally. Oh you

1:08

don't have to. You can have a hat-trick of a larceny if you want. We all

1:10

know where this is going to go, Ric, isn't it? No

1:12

amount of flirting, rubbish answers, intelligent witty answers. You're still

1:14

going to put me in fourth place, aren't you? I

1:17

think probably. Do you think I've been harsh or you've been rubbish or is

1:19

it a bit of both? I think it's a bit of both. Probably, isn't

1:21

it? Yeah. On for the

1:24

118th time on a two-show winning streak. He's looking to

1:26

score three wins in a row for the third time.

1:28

His long and largely distinguished Fighting Talk career. He's got

1:30

a book out. It's called Never Save a Good Idea.

1:32

And annoyingly, I couldn't really think of a joke off

1:35

the back of that. I'm just tired. But

1:37

what I will say is it's a good

1:39

read. Dougie Anderson. Ricard, it's good

1:42

to be here. I

1:44

know that this week we've been suffering

1:46

a little bit of the Bombay tum-tum. That's

1:48

right. So I wish you all the best

1:50

in the next hour or so of broadcasting.

1:53

Thoughts and prayers with you and the immediate

1:55

family. Thank you very much. And that's an

1:57

immediate point. There's a real lesson for you there,

1:59

actually. Perfect summer one at one

2:02

of the masses isn't as next stop

2:04

and Essex comic. A bypass was time

2:06

completely and ended up a Spurs fan

2:08

and six appearances only one fighting to

2:10

victory away from having more wins than

2:12

all the other Josh is put together

2:15

than so to when it comes zero

2:17

Just James right you're on my army

2:19

and I I i taking a study

2:21

myself bit think if I'm looking for

2:23

suicide has ever more more generally where

2:26

would you say you rank him as

2:28

a canon of justice The some. Good

2:30

ones out that he got. Hartnett Brolin,

2:32

you got my favorite homie way for

2:34

yourself. I'm not need a cells as

2:37

to see I see a light assault

2:39

hundred I'm not worldwide as a because

2:41

I had no self self five hundred

2:43

my they don't fall into and about

2:45

a gimmick I farm and race of

2:47

my I'm finally they eleventh episode of

2:50

season Twenty one. So far I have

2:52

permitted to out of ten to win

2:54

on debut. Will. He be number

2:56

three is the voice of the sort of

2:58

France having done every once in swine to

3:00

was born in two thousand and three This

3:02

is the end of a long campaign by

3:04

Millicent group of for us to get this

3:06

man on the panel led by himself had

3:09

to make metropolitan it's would have made a

3:11

lot later on in life. yeah I know

3:13

what I'm a loyal surely given up on

3:15

my so freely and now here I am

3:17

I roscoe what I just assume as of

3:19

fighting so that he saw look met with

3:21

with absolute response to the rest upon of

3:23

send you an excise have you on a

3:25

thank. You very much very on. Let's get

3:27

guy we haven't got a foul a so

3:29

I'm just gonna rub and the messiah day

3:32

at home or less Geico and then I

3:34

will begin with this. Might

3:37

as well coached he didn't. Have

3:51

much Robbins kind the explains why he celebrates

3:53

in front of a thirteen. Rode off this

3:55

ball boy of countries like Winner moves. He

3:57

said he was wasting time smiling. He annoys.

4:00

So I celebrated his face supposed to

4:02

fly us. Who else you'd like to

4:04

celebrated because they were noisy is Josh.

4:07

I'm now you might remember Twenty fifth

4:09

St. England unsuccessfully for the city I

4:11

woke up on are safe and so

4:13

that the twins who was from face

4:15

off. In the

4:18

first round as if I was in the

4:20

right as a hostess. When the I Am

4:22

World cup were eventually able to to Russia

4:24

ah with set fly off even admits his

4:26

ah stuff that there was an agreement implied

4:28

for to the brush. Out for a long

4:31

before have you have a positive light So

4:33

when we when the your as the summer

4:35

we we will undermine the loaded into find

4:37

ever I was just isn't away when they

4:40

always come in on them are up as

4:42

he was. So when we go with Lucas

4:44

enterprise had a physical this Sarah More guys

4:46

are in in sacrifice oh no not anymore

4:49

but we kicked our to glasses. By the

4:51

way we could do with what we find

4:53

him will find him return on that is

4:55

incredibly ah or I match This is yeah

4:58

well is this is what an invitation. To

5:00

be incredibly petty is me about stops organization

5:02

so of like the odds with both hands

5:04

the opportunity for a long form of worked

5:07

in football for about twenty years interviewing managers

5:09

predominantly off the Champions League matches linked or

5:11

that's and I'm outside press offices Football Press

5:13

of says his job It is thought to

5:16

introduce fans to their regards. That's my first

5:18

ever point. I'm fighting so on bank that's

5:20

com or it's fans to that club on

5:22

Adama other way to prevent that happening on

5:25

that people are you ready to forty five

5:27

Cristiano Ronaldo and already pointing about what say

5:29

can you wrap it up or once it's

5:31

almost fine Lever Football much broadcast with our

5:34

to be back. In the day I wanted

5:36

to gotten a blaze of glory and when

5:38

of Dublin truculent jokes Samaria was brought to

5:40

the tunnel to do a grudging post match

5:43

interview. I wanted to go out and and

5:45

just literally just lose about the right because

5:47

my sights still up. on

5:50

your own interests it out sometime not a

5:52

robot arms are unsafe got to the press

5:54

officer inside there you are a comedy that

5:56

i've got out of rarely get gets us

5:58

but if i did too Immediately, then

6:00

I like it. All right, Gail

6:04

Singapore open I think it was about 2007 2008 I

6:07

had to play in ladies doubles with a girl

6:09

called Donna Kellogg very very talented girl. This

6:11

is badminton Is it badminton? Yeah, wasn't playing any other

6:13

sport there back in 2007 Rick.

6:15

That was my high era times

6:17

of peak badminton Anyway,

6:22

there was this tiny floor with Donna is

6:24

the fact that she she hoped She

6:27

had a very very short fuse and

6:29

we were playing against this young Japanese

6:31

pair their their Their

6:34

coach was our former coach Korean guy part

6:36

2 bombs and he knew this about Donna So

6:39

he told the girls basically just get in her face

6:41

and just sort of like really annoying and she'll blow

6:43

it up That's it. You've got you you'll beat the

6:45

girls Somebody thought right. We've got this

6:48

and we're the favorites 1-0 up Well, yeah

6:50

one all they got the next point and

6:52

what the girls did right? I can only

6:54

describe is they made a noise as if

6:56

you would squish a guinea pig and

6:58

they made this You know like when you celebrate point

7:00

goes, yes And

7:07

we were like you are kidding me and I

7:09

looked at Donna and I'm like, oh no, she's

7:11

gonna go Most

7:14

are in the first game the second game it was

7:16

close and I could see she smashed a wreck it

7:19

She was on a warning for a card and everything

7:21

like that And I thought this is it the only

7:23

way I can do what you think about all the

7:25

sports like penalty with elite mindset All that no, I

7:28

went petal. I did it to them. I went

7:31

back and tried to do an even

7:33

higher If

7:36

you'd have seen that much you've seen four women

7:41

Over the next to each other. So yes,

7:44

sorry for psychology. Sorry elite up and coming

7:46

athletes That's what takes me to beat someone

7:48

Only badminton was televised Lucky

7:54

let's hope that's not the last off Donna

7:56

anecdotes for the show John

8:00

John Ram who this week has

8:02

come out saying he hopes that

8:04

PGA and live golfers can coexist,

8:07

a worthy sentiment, ultimately an utterly

8:09

baseless of course from the man

8:11

who won the Masters last April

8:13

then defected to live golf in

8:16

November. Spare us your wishy-washy sentiment.

8:18

That's right, Gail, I said wishy-washy.

8:20

I'd like to celebrate

8:22

when he loses his title next

8:24

month at Augusta, possibly after a

8:27

meandering misspot on the 18th trickling

8:29

just like his principles past the

8:31

whole mercenary. I'd cry mercenary or

8:33

if you will in Rams native

8:36

Spanish methanario. Question number two

8:38

comes from you the listeners Richard

9:04

Juba Tony got onto our social media and

9:06

is on the line now. Morning Richard. Good

9:09

morning. Now you are a

9:11

chemistry teacher. I am. So

9:14

we have picked this for your theme music. I

9:20

mean, yes again it's Route

9:22

1. What do you think?

9:24

Very nice. Yeah, very nice is better

9:26

than that deserves. What question would you

9:28

like to ask Richard? Yeah,

9:31

good morning panel. With

9:34

Georgia winning the Rugby European Championship again,

9:36

that's the seventh time in a row

9:39

and Wales looking a very poor side in

9:41

the Six Nations, who else

9:43

in sport deserves a spot at the

9:46

top table? It's a lovely

9:48

question actually. Let's start with Dougie please.

9:50

It's a lovely question Richard, thank you

9:52

for that and Richard I detect your

9:54

rather strong Ulster accent when you ask

9:56

that question which is very handy because

9:58

I'd like to talk about football of

10:00

Stephen Davis. who deserves a seat at

10:02

the top table of Northern Irish sporting

10:05

legends. Now, obviously, nobody as

10:07

good as George Best. Whiteside, McElroy,

10:09

Jennings played in different eras, but

10:11

when it comes to that table

10:13

and the chairs around it, for

10:16

chairs and tables meeketh the set,

10:18

then let's reserve a place for

10:20

Stephen Davis. Not only is he

10:22

Northern Ireland's most capped footballer, but

10:25

he is the most capped of any

10:27

man from the home nations with

10:29

140 caps. Now,

10:33

to put 140 into some perspective, let's

10:35

just say that's half of 280. Also,

10:39

Captain... I love a bit of perspective.

10:41

I really do. It's very helpful. Captain

10:44

Northern Ireland at the Euros at 2016

10:46

would have reached the last 16 so Best, Darren

10:50

Clark, Mary Peters, Willie John

10:52

McBride, AP McCoy, make room

10:55

for Stephen Davis at the top table

10:57

of Ulster. It's well

10:59

argued, Richard. I don't know what you thought. I'll come back to

11:01

you in a moment. Ned. Yeah, I'm going

11:03

to go with the England men's football

11:05

team. They're

11:07

a minor football nation with the

11:09

odds heavily stacked against them. And

11:11

frankly, I'm sick of it. I'm

11:13

sick of the whole thing of being an England fan, which

11:15

I am. I'm sick of Skinner and Badile. I'm sick of

11:18

the years of hurt. I'm sick of going 1-0 up and

11:20

then forgetting how to play football. I'm sick of knowing that

11:22

a player is going to miss a penalty. I'm sick of

11:24

Gary Lineker looking all rueful at

11:26

half-time like a kind of woke,

11:29

disappointed uncle. I'm sick of

11:31

trying to work out when it was exactly in

11:33

time that Alan Shearer lost all his hair. It's

11:36

all just gone off for too long.

11:38

I think everyone could agree England should

11:40

in every tournament be fast-tracked into every

11:42

final of every tournament, handed a three-million

11:44

for 10 minutes ago and then ordered

11:46

to take back control of the national

11:48

game. I mean, that

11:50

is 21 years of pent-up bike-talking coming

11:53

out from men, and I like it. Josh.

11:57

So Saudi Arabia has become home.

12:01

Sik, Joseph Parker, Deonce Wilder all getting their

12:03

slice of the pyre but following

12:11

being clear of any dolton offences following

12:15

an adverse finding on a drug test

12:17

before his scheduled fight with AJ last

12:19

year Deleon Wyatt he's back

12:22

and he's not just tough as old boots he's probably the

12:25

best heavyweight out there

12:27

after those names I've just mentioned

12:29

and a brilliant personality we need

12:31

him to get a

12:33

place at the Saudi table can

12:36

I say that's a proper answer I

12:40

never know quite what to do with a proper answer I just gave

12:42

you a couple of points Gail hi

12:44

Richard no no no

12:46

no no no absolutely are you

12:48

my mother terrible way to find

12:51

out for starters in which case

12:53

go on okay

12:57

go on I

12:59

mean you do have an actual aptitude for bad answer

13:01

Richard I'm

13:04

gonna say British gymnastics I've also got a

13:06

proper answer because longer the dates we've just

13:08

had one person but that back then 2000

13:11

Olympics 2004 best medal

13:14

was the only British gymnast and we had an

13:16

actual chance of doing anything the poor girl came

13:18

forth a few times finally got that medal in

13:20

2012 but then we got the Lewis Smith guessing

13:23

medals they got the max wit lots but not

13:25

only that but they are consistently performing in the

13:27

team competitions so you've got that deck and consistency

13:29

so when you think of gymnastics you think of

13:32

the powerhouses like USA got China you've got

13:34

the Eastern European countries but now I think

13:37

British gymnastics team GB can say actually hang on

13:39

a sec we are there we deserve a place

13:41

at top table just

13:44

a customer you weren't speaking to me when you

13:46

said where you're going to call it by

13:49

chemistry a level but yeah trying

13:51

to get an extra point here's well listen this is

13:53

what I'll do for you I'll give you a point with that but

13:56

then I'll take another couple of points off because

13:58

it's made me look silly I'm

14:01

afraid to the coolest heard you and against

14:03

the the bonus points stood up. yeah that's

14:06

a pretty good answers when I I'm not

14:08

sure what of Libya think so. Good thing

14:10

for the Anthrax and to compress the first

14:12

round his neck. see I wanted to manage.

14:14

Yeah yeah it was and was in fairness

14:17

Wizards of the Slate Zoc Science noticed by

14:19

classes over the side Max Like Drugs the

14:21

list I play such cases of unless Little

14:23

Nexus yeah I know and I very much

14:25

enjoyed meds on says well can I am

14:28

sick of England? don't quite make yet fighting.

14:30

Dale does as the points British Genesis

14:32

seventy two that was the size of

14:35

the library. Go further out on a

14:37

woman to Maximalist. Yes, you did or

14:39

thanks very much for it's It Advocates

14:41

I subdued a hydro outside races there's

14:44

a hero he said you to proving

14:46

he is onus on the wrong. Guy

14:51

oh this is unprecedented. You're currently in

14:54

the lead to some so what is

14:56

bad? I in mind I'm right. Question

14:58

number three: A red zone. Some. Fighting

15:00

to now I see to he preys

15:02

on a sportsperson says not the com

15:04

thing we normally do. As if any

15:07

of the panel said the opportunistic sort

15:09

of the back of basketball phenomenon, Caitlin

15:11

Proud hit the headlines in American sport

15:13

by breaking every college hoops record going

15:15

and according to W M B A

15:18

legend Nestle Williams has special sauce is

15:20

her abilities hit shot from anywhere on

15:22

the cool So I want you to

15:24

give me another sportsperson and tell me

15:26

what they're special sauces. Gail.

15:30

I am today so fat secrecy since he

15:32

had gotten inside out with soap and i'm

15:34

just gonna took us a vice got the

15:36

same special so as not easy finity to

15:38

look inside and south and say said team

15:40

and nice t t up and site since

15:43

any passed. A funny thing is at least

15:45

link any friends is half he's com three

15:47

places and emptying out the phone a case

15:49

that johnny to take that always in the

15:51

southern his dad got his start in harmless

15:54

at into have come back it's never an

15:56

easy but i'm face better though the test

15:58

cricket since the. Huns as an old a

16:00

light stain on Wednesday twenty twenty one

16:02

and taking time out for to mental

16:04

health issues that in his foot in

16:06

his career spices and have gone to

16:08

really really thought places a trace the

16:10

and the ability to liquefy siemens in

16:12

the eye on see put it on

16:14

see well as a sporting field is

16:16

when the cricket pitch the bombs in

16:18

court whereas us and super form which

16:20

those to have I seen bay or

16:22

something five i special. Kilometer

16:25

was a good answers guy or something were

16:27

to merge yes well I just thought

16:29

there was one incredibly obese on so

16:31

comments about in a minute but is less

16:33

oh results are going to flip the

16:35

whole question round. actually have a purpose Source

16:38

software Zones before the sports person source

16:40

or thought that the republic of any

16:42

one source year than Kenneth Williams of it

16:44

we can all agree of and dress

16:46

and articles about Zone the show on is

16:48

a ton of lot retrofit employ question

16:50

and find a school that would fit

16:52

Kenneth Williams with all these. Special amounts

16:54

of source and I've whittled down to shortlist

16:57

of freaks of gymnastics because of a huge

16:59

sushi slapstick potential of the Pommel Horse for

17:01

example. I'm that yes, say Legacy, Just kids

17:04

are owed says the sumo sumo see fun

17:06

potential with the bridging in the hello sailor

17:08

jokes that he could throw us and I'm

17:10

afraid so go badminton because to bird all

17:13

shuttlecock Rosewood, I just prove irresistibly Muslims a

17:15

really. Popular need to speeches balances number

17:17

one sport need to and. You. Can see Williams

17:19

hanging out that however. Zygote how I got guy. Okay,

17:21

so how do you know that. You

17:28

can you have a where the shuttle

17:30

cox's makes if process. And know that

17:33

I'd suits Michael yes, I suppose, on

17:35

his pants. and in Monday's Death. Scene.

17:37

Is nice and your mind or. Is our the abbey

17:39

them Islam days of the opposite of

17:41

among the like. Another problem that was

17:43

went out on Monday spot for the

17:45

astronauts are in the advocated by I

17:48

joined the.article I saw a lot of

17:50

the a spokesperson with especially special sauce

17:52

or that about with of course the

17:54

great Lance Armstrong. ah that

17:56

way dollar really wanted a

17:58

hero sandwiches Josh. So,

18:01

Eddie Hearn, the self-titled, world's

18:03

greatest boxing promoter. He's one hell

18:06

of a salesman. This man can

18:08

sell ice to Eskimos. He

18:10

can sell a fence to his next-door neighbour. If

18:12

he had one that is, I mean he's earned

18:14

enough Reddies, he won't have any neighbours. But of

18:16

course, he wouldn't have a job

18:18

without the fighters. But having

18:21

Eddie in your corner can make a boxer

18:23

that little bit more special. So

18:25

if we think a boxer's like

18:28

a big juicy steak, Eddie is

18:30

the fast-talking, Rolex-wearing, burnt-ace sauce on

18:32

top. It's an absolutely

18:34

extraordinary image. Ducky.

18:38

Yeah, this is a recent one. But if

18:40

we're talking about special sauces or indeed French

18:42

dressing, it has to be Nolan Le Garic,

18:45

who, against Wales and the Six Nations, redefined

18:48

what a rugby pass could

18:50

be. His speciality, of course,

18:53

is the completely superfluous yet stunning

18:55

reverse pass, which, let's be honest,

18:57

leads to nothing apart from some

19:00

people saying, oh, that

19:02

was a bit flashy, typical French, aren't they? But

19:04

it was good, though. It was good. It

19:06

was. Nobody else can do it. It's a

19:08

special sauce. Hence, a

19:11

good answer. All right, let's have

19:13

a good check-in with

19:15

the scores, because they are remarkable.

19:19

Flailing, I think, on 10. Ducky

19:21

on 11. Debiton

19:23

Ned doing very nicely on 14. But

19:25

Gale, Gale of all people. Got

19:28

it. In the lead on 15.

19:30

All right, it's all going to go downhill from now. Well,

19:32

I imagine so. You're even blushing a little bit,

19:34

Gail. I know. Right,

19:37

just before the break, let's go back

19:40

to this. It's 2-1-1, it's

19:42

gone off. So we've got to... ...with

19:46

10 seconds of extra time remaining.

19:49

Stole just the second

19:51

ever Manchester United goal.

19:54

Let's take Ellington Hartshorne

19:56

into the FA top-standing

19:58

bowl. So

20:00

after that match Liverpool exiting the FA

20:02

Cup, about the quarterfinal stage against Manchester

20:04

United, that last minute winner from Amadiello.

20:06

Jurgen Klopp obviously was doing his press

20:09

interviews, and I imagine towards the

20:12

end of that, he had a

20:14

chat with a Norwegian fella, and

20:16

the Norwegian fella upset Danish Scandinavian

20:18

fella, upset Jurgen Klopp,

20:20

and Jurgen Klopp kind of said that he, said

20:23

he didn't like the question, said he was disappointed

20:25

in them, said that the guy wasn't in great

20:27

shape, and just sort of flounced off. It

20:30

was, as a Liverpool fella, I've got to say, it

20:32

was slightly embarrassing. But when have

20:35

you ever irritated a sports person?

20:37

And by sports person, I mean

20:39

someone who plays a sport. Jog.

20:42

Something with me, yeah. So I was at the Edinburgh

20:45

Fringe Festival last year, and as we all know, I

20:47

threw them up from August, and I'm up

20:49

there doing a show which is like new material, new

20:51

jokes, sort of seeing what works. And I was doing

20:53

a new joke I was writing, and I can't remember

20:55

exactly what the new joke was, but

20:58

the punchline was basically that Ross Count, he'd a football team,

21:01

are rubbish. And anyway,

21:03

turns out what

21:05

was actually rubbish was my new joke about Ross

21:07

Count. I never wanted him. Yeah,

21:11

never said it again. Anyway, show finishes, and a bloke comes up

21:13

to me, and he's like, oh yeah, I want to have a

21:15

word with you. And I was like, oh okay, here we

21:17

go. And he's like, I play for Ross

21:19

Count. No. And

21:23

turns out, I got talking to him, he was their

21:25

striker. Anyway, won him

21:27

back round, bought him a drink, we had a

21:29

laugh about it, and then on the way home,

21:31

I Googled him, and he's a striker, but

21:34

he hadn't scored one goal that season. I was

21:36

sort of right. You

21:39

should have Googled him a bit earlier, you could have put

21:41

that to him. Yeah. Ducky. Nasser

21:46

Hussein. Now let's be honest, never a man

21:48

known to revel in a Jeep. I

21:52

once found myself, God knows why, at an

21:54

England training camp in the northeast of England,

21:56

Chesterley Street, the England Cricket Training Camp, and

21:58

I was delivering a piece to... camera. A

22:00

very nuanced piece I thought actually. Yeah I've

22:02

seen your look. As did my director who

22:05

said let's just do one more, one more

22:07

for safety. Just a little bit louder this

22:09

time but, he didn't actually say this but

22:12

I got it from his eyes but he's

22:14

with the aforementioned nuance still intact. The

22:17

size is, and was met

22:19

with raging anger by Nassar Hussein

22:21

who thought it was too destructive

22:23

to the point where I was

22:25

escorted out of the England training

22:27

area not by security but by

22:30

Nassar Hussein himself. Wow.

22:33

Jip free Nassar Hussein. That's

22:35

a fantastic answer Gail.

22:38

Well you know, I know I get a bit riled

22:40

up on this show but I'm a lover not a

22:42

hater so we don't normally annoy other sports

22:44

people you know sort of share the love and everything.

22:46

That's slightly hard to believe Gail.

22:49

But there was one moment, GMB

22:51

do a little bit at the end of this

22:53

show and say it's like a little fun debate.

22:55

Well it can be fun there's some serious topics

22:57

there and I got

22:59

asked to debate about winter Olympics

23:02

funding and should we spend so

23:04

much money on speed skating, the

23:07

jump you know the what's that one the idea the

23:10

eagle one. Yeah that's it. See

23:13

where this is going so it's definitely on the side of like

23:15

well look great risk and we're

23:18

not really a winter Olympic safety. Yes Scotland

23:20

but we're not as a whole should we

23:22

really fund eight million pounds just for one single one

23:24

person. I think she

23:26

really offended a speed skater who then

23:28

put on her social media had a

23:30

catchy screenshot of a picture of me

23:33

on the on GMB and just put

23:35

well this uh be

23:37

well rhymes with which can just go and yeah

23:39

and she just said she's just slating me constantly

23:41

for about 24 hours. I said I thought you

23:44

know what you didn't actually listen to what I

23:46

was saying they're eight million pounds oh is that

23:48

going to inspire the kids I'm just going to

23:50

get my speed skates out of the cupboard and

23:52

go speed skating because the ice rings we've Got

23:54

millions of ice rings around this country. The whole

23:56

point of it was just she didn't listen and

23:58

started slagging me off. Well.

24:00

Like I really hope she's listening. Yeah,

24:02

the say that I went through our

24:05

fan of a Psych Meds Yes, well

24:07

on yeah. Is this actually literally of

24:09

the top of my head of of

24:11

from Grants, Martin Jones or Sir Alex

24:13

Ferguson love songs from to a Simmer

24:15

In You'll Often Bend Got a Bradley

24:17

Wiggins, David Moyes module. gems sort of

24:19

thrones wanna throw to three times three

24:21

I know around because I was interviewing

24:23

is my third Zola War and Tony

24:25

Romo is going to give him a

24:27

lift home and it was delaying for

24:29

i'm Not Your Gems. Afternoon at

24:31

Feel the Power Size Others The

24:33

Woods Reynolds a convicted criminal Histories

24:35

to and darlings enemies around Maximum

24:37

duty hair clip that have a

24:39

home over backs on a cyclist

24:42

once have heard of called Robbie

24:44

hum so was was have that

24:46

Brendan Rodgers. And I'm. Like

24:49

that is a sensational. Less and

24:51

less don't have a copy wrong

24:53

here but I don't remember anyone

24:55

ever score thirteen points are not

24:58

as a such a lovely stuff.

25:01

And that is without mentioning the

25:03

fact that only thing the first

25:05

time that you start a dude

25:07

two different stuff you go you

25:09

upsets every once. In. The second for

25:12

Tennessee by referring to the Yellow Jump on

25:14

yes would suggest that are Yeah, Yeah, that's

25:16

right. A million views about about seven lists

25:18

a hurry I know I've given that they

25:21

beat a dead horse for. Us

25:23

as ah good good stuff I

25:25

think from everyone. Sattler second moment

25:28

so inhale the news and sports.

25:30

Such. A good journey past

25:32

two thousand and three canadian seen

25:34

sensation of he was. Turning

25:37

music industry of sides and

25:40

lot of my toes You

25:42

haven't seen Reno and might

25:44

not see the same wrong

25:47

to. offer Welcome

26:14

back to Bolting Talk, welcome back to

26:17

our panel, they're bolting Dougie Anderson, Gail

26:19

M and Josh James. If

26:21

you missed the start of the show, nobody

26:23

knows quite how, but the podcast is already

26:25

available to listen to right now on

26:27

BBC Sounds. Also, if you missed the start of

26:29

the show, you will not understand this bit at

26:32

all, but Gail, can you do the guinea pig

26:34

noise? Lovely. Let's

26:36

have a quick rifle through the annals. On this

26:39

day in Fighting Talk history, 23rd

26:41

March 2013, 9th and to

26:43

date last show guest hosted by Nick Hancock,

26:45

you don't hear a lot about Nick Hancock these

26:47

days, 23rd March 2019, first

26:51

and to date only appearance of Tinchy

26:53

Strider. But the start of the show

26:55

was a certain Dougie Anderson, who despite

26:57

being a late replacement for someone who'd

26:59

pulled out the night before, romped to

27:01

victory on the fury of Scotland men's

27:03

football team, getting absolutely stuffed by Kazakhstan.

27:06

Onwards, air horn,

27:09

should have brought the bell. Game

27:11

changer time, Netflix continue to dabble

27:14

in sport with, well essentially made

27:16

up contest, so they've got Al

27:19

Carrath against Nadal, playing tennis, fine, not a

27:21

tournament just against each other like a knock

27:23

up just because Netflix can pay them to

27:25

do it. They're staging ageing

27:27

boxer Mike Tyson against YouTuber Jake

27:29

Paul. They also put on the

27:31

Netflix cup, a golf tournament between Formula One

27:33

drivers. So anything goes, doesn't really have to

27:36

be a proper sport, doesn't have to have

27:38

a governing body, doesn't have to be for

27:40

anything. But what would you pitch to Netflix

27:42

as a sporting contest you'd like to see

27:45

on their streaming platform? I'm going to give

27:47

five points to the one I would commission.

27:49

I'm going to start with Josh. Lovely.

27:52

Well, Netflix is renowned for its

27:54

stand-up comedy specials as we know

27:56

and I'd like to bring, you

27:59

know, a bit of a sports angle to the

28:01

stand-up comedy game. I'm talking studio

28:03

analysis of people's

28:06

performance, post

28:08

gig interviews, you know, imagine me

28:11

getting interviewed after a

28:13

gig. So Josh, tonight's performance started badly but you

28:15

come away with a result. Yeah,

28:17

look, it was a show or two of,

28:19

you know, but we got there in

28:21

the end, you know, anyone could do it at

28:23

a Hammersmith Apollo, but we've come to

28:25

Stoke on a rameous show tonight and

28:27

got a stand-in ovation, so I'm delighted.

28:31

And do you think the Ross County joke landed or? No

28:35

comment on that one, no comment on that one. Yeah,

28:37

I like it. Ned. Yes, well,

28:40

it's a Tour de France for darts

28:42

players. That's it, that's the pitch.

28:44

I think that's the entire sort of pitch documents in

28:46

one phrase. How about you, I'm right to say. Not

28:48

sure I need to elaborate, but you know, the societal

28:50

Michael Van Gogh win wearing the polka dot jersey, Luke

28:54

Littler possibly with stabilizers on his bike

28:56

with an oak and Fallon Sherrick simply

28:58

riding away from the moorland into the yellow

29:00

jersey. It'd be better than the real race for sure. Yellow

29:03

jump, yeah. Or you could flip it

29:05

round and you could have Ali Pelly,

29:07

right, for cyclists, but here's the catch,

29:09

you make them drink everything

29:12

that the darts players drink, with their low body

29:14

mass index up could be quite an adventure. So

29:16

yeah, either way, flip it round either way. There's

29:18

a couple of things I'd already like to commission.

29:21

Dougie. Right, what

29:24

works for audiences? Travel,

29:26

endurance, pain,

29:29

celebrity, sport, pain.

29:32

What sport gives us all

29:34

that, the pentathlon? Welcome

29:38

to a watered down version of that.

29:40

A mixture of ex sporting greats and

29:42

celebrities who in their own heads are

29:44

sporting greats. They compete together. Think SES,

29:47

are you tough enough, meets celebrity

29:50

race across the world peppered with

29:52

dramatic sporting moments. Now

29:54

substitute the fencing for boxing. Definitely

29:56

keep the shooting. Running and swimming

29:58

as pe- but drop

30:01

the show jumping due to a question

30:03

insurance complications. We will see

30:06

training camps, the race, the

30:08

aftermath, people will laugh, some

30:11

will cry, there'll be a lot

30:13

of crying. This can sell in all

30:15

countries with presenting duties up for grabs

30:17

but we'd be surprised if Jermaine's genus

30:19

is interested in applying for the European

30:23

territories as well as

30:25

all other global territories.

30:27

Brace yourself for pentathlete

30:29

brackets with Jermaine's genus.

30:31

I'm braced, I'm fully

30:33

braced. Gail. Well

30:35

I want to see the ones who talk

30:37

the talk and they walk the walk from

30:40

the chair to out there get those pundits

30:42

and get them as referees let's see how

30:44

they fear. I want them to, I want

30:46

the likes of you know Keene, I want

30:48

them Linnekev, Murphy,

30:51

Carriga, Neville, Shira, I want them to do refereeing

30:53

course. I want them to start with the under

30:55

nines you know give it really young see if

30:57

they can cover the parents and they're fighting and

31:00

all the shows in front of the parents. Then

31:02

get up the testosterone field of the under 15

31:04

sort of matches and

31:06

then finally make their way up to

31:08

a proper professional match and see Keene

31:10

as referee what I can he actually

31:12

handle what actually was going to happen.

31:16

Oh so I'm choosing between

31:19

stand-up comedy but proper sporting analysis which

31:21

I like I've got darts players on

31:24

the Tour de France which is fabulous

31:27

I've got pundits as referees and I've

31:30

got the the pentathlon of pain

31:32

with Jermaine's genus. They

31:34

are great. They are good, they are

31:36

good. I think we should certainly pitch

31:38

at least three of them. I'm gonna

31:40

go with the pentathlon of pain because

31:42

I can see it being a global

31:44

smash as long as genus is signed

31:46

up. Yeah,

31:53

you can have that. Right

31:56

next question then with rumors that Gareth Southgate is being

31:58

lined up to take over at Manchester United. after

32:00

the England job ends, I'd

32:02

like you to remind me of some

32:05

other gaffers who've gone on to do

32:07

really good club business after leaving the

32:09

national coaching scene. Dougie. Well

32:12

you know I think honourable mention to

32:14

Alex Ferguson because he was an international

32:16

manager for the 86 World Cup for

32:18

Scotland after the passing of Jock Steen

32:21

and then shortly after obviously went to

32:23

Man United but as

32:26

unfashionable as he may appear now you

32:28

cannot discount Antonio Conte whose first job after

32:31

being boss of the Italian national team was

32:33

as Chelsea manager where of course he

32:35

won the best league in the world

32:38

cannot be discounted. Chelsea fans were happy

32:40

then they're not happy now. Yep

32:43

two good answers there Ned. Yes

32:46

well the answer is actually the late

32:48

Terry Venables he left as

32:50

you know he left the England job after Gareth Southgate

32:52

made an awful whole mix of that penalty at Wembley

32:54

in 1996 and

32:57

a year later Venables sold scribes

33:00

his private members club

33:03

for one million pounds having

33:05

just paid just fifty thousand

33:07

pounds for it when he

33:09

purchased it and that is

33:11

the literal definition of great

33:13

club business. I have

33:15

stayed in Eltel's hotel

33:18

in Spain actually very nice very nice and

33:20

details. Right Gail.

33:23

Stuart Lancaster England head coach wasn't

33:26

actually that bad as the coach

33:28

but he had that horrendous 2015 World

33:31

Cup where he was failed to get out

33:34

of the pool as the host nation and

33:36

of course that was it he had to

33:38

go but then went to Lendstar and just

33:40

was and had an absolute fantastic career as

33:43

coach there the European champions in 2018

33:45

won four league titles and now at

33:47

Racine 92. Good

33:51

answers Josh. I've gone

33:53

for Carlo Ancelotti he started his

33:55

coaching career as assistant for Italy

33:57

1992 so 1990 He's

34:00

now current manager of Argrably, the biggest

34:02

football club in the world. And

34:05

I was going to list all the things he's

34:07

won, but they're as long as your arm. He's

34:09

won it all, isn't he? He's won the top

34:11

modern managers, probably won the best managers ever. So

34:13

I've gone for Carlo. Yeah,

34:16

three very straight answers and then the excellent

34:18

Tony Venerable's one from Ned. Next

34:21

up, Southgate's opposite number, who is Brazil

34:23

manager D'Orival Jr. says that leading Brazil

34:25

against England at Wembley will be the

34:28

greatest day of my life. A

34:30

friendly and an international break. Calm down,

34:32

mate. Er, Art, panel, what was the

34:34

greatest day of your life so far?

34:39

Josh. Before

34:41

I say this answer, because my missus is

34:43

listening, I've obviously got to say that the

34:45

day that my son was born was the

34:47

best day of my life. Er,

34:50

come on. I've got

34:53

to get out of there. Sorry, Rick,

34:55

I had to get out of there.

34:57

But outside, it has to be the

34:59

prestigious 2007 Havering Cup final where my

35:02

school champion from Hall Church beat Cooper's

35:04

school of Upminster at the illustrious Hall

35:07

Church Stadium. Attendance was about a thousand

35:09

people, closest I ever come to being

35:11

a pro footballer. I come on as

35:13

a sub and then I actually, I've

35:16

got to subbed off again. Er,

35:20

but I did lead that in my spirit, er,

35:22

because as I come off, they were chanting my

35:24

name and I took my shirt off and I

35:26

chucked it into the crowd. Well,

35:28

how badly were you playing? Well,

35:31

it was sort of roll on, roll off. But,

35:33

erm, I just used to come on to put

35:35

some tackles in, you know. Enforcer. It

35:37

was a bit of an enforcer, yeah. And we were like,

35:40

three-one up and they were like, you know, let's, erm, let's

35:42

start trying to play some football now. Yeah, let's get the

35:44

James Reducer in there. Yeah. Gail.

35:47

Rick, I could list, you know, obviously being world

35:49

champion, world number one, you know, I'm having the

35:51

list go on, you know, wearing that Team GB

35:53

chat seat for the first time in the Olympic

35:55

village. But the greatest day of my life was

35:58

actually 26th of August, 19th of August. 1989

36:01

because I finally at age 12. I finally

36:03

beat my mother now Is that

36:05

those of you growing up with competitive parents?

36:07

I know if you're growing up, but

36:09

you know the ones from the fast show

36:11

the you know They just walk the boy

36:13

that poor Timmy and that was me growing

36:16

up Judy Murray has got nothing on my

36:18

mother Okay, she's psycho competitive. I started playing

36:20

badminton against my mom 87. It took me

36:22

five years to finally beat her She took

36:24

no mercy. She's thrashing me 11 nil every

36:27

single time and eventually I

36:30

beat her and then she turned around to

36:33

me and she said right. That's it. I'm not playing

36:35

you anymore That's it It's

36:37

actually done and where I get it from but

36:40

better than winning a world championship Do you know

36:42

what? Very

36:45

different feelings. That's for my therapy sessions

36:47

and my therapist. But yeah, there is so

36:49

yeah Stucky good answer gail

36:51

mums. When will we go fashion?

36:55

Well, you know I've spoken about it before Hibbs winning the

36:57

cup after 114 year wait in 2016 was the greatest sporting

36:59

day of my life but

37:04

Will there be a new contender this

37:06

coming June because I'm gonna be in

37:08

Cologne for Scotland's second euros game Oh

37:10

against Switzerland. It'll probably come down

37:13

to the third match versus Hungary Getting

37:15

out the group stage off a major tournament

37:18

For the first time that

37:20

will equal my greatest sporting

37:22

date and the worst thing

37:24

is it's annoyingly possible Possible

37:26

not necessarily probable, but annoyingly

37:29

possible. I pray to the old gods

37:31

in the news Ned

37:34

well, that's interesting so you can just invent

37:36

things that haven't happened yet make that up

37:38

apparently Wow, wow

37:48

In Josh on All

37:51

right, well, here's the thing that did ham it's

37:53

some it's in a sporting convention in

37:55

a sporting context and I like to stress I'm not

37:57

I don't support any club. I'm certainly not a Liverpool

37:59

fan per se, but I

38:01

was fortunate enough to be in Istanbul

38:03

in 2005, working for ITV, when

38:09

Liverpool clinched the penalty shootout. And strangely, because

38:12

we were just about to run on the

38:14

pitch and start interviewing the players, whichever way

38:16

the penalty shootout had gone, I was standing

38:18

with my camera crew right next to the

38:21

Liverpool bench, and when all

38:23

the players rushed onto the pitch, rather

38:25

than he says, rather confused at the

38:27

time, jumped up from his position, turned

38:29

to me, and I think he just thought

38:31

I was a member of the Liverpool staff, and

38:34

lifted me off the ground, gave me this massive

38:36

bear hug, almost squeezed the air out of me,

38:38

and then realised that I wasn't part of the

38:40

Liverpool staff, and we kind of upheld me in

38:42

suspension in midair, and then just kind of dropped

38:44

me like that, and then we both sort of

38:46

dusted ourselves down a little bit, like John Candy

38:48

and Steve Markin from Plains Friends in Ortonville, and

38:51

just got on with it. But yeah, that was

38:53

a weirdly, that was a decent moment. Yeah, that's

38:55

a great moment. To be honest, the

38:57

rest of the panellists can't live with that kind of thing. Question

39:00

number 10. Now, if you

39:02

don't care about the greatest day of Doravale

39:04

Junior's life, which is possible, what

39:07

are the other international

39:09

sporting contests to get

39:11

the juices flowing? Gail?

39:13

Do you know what? I'm going to

39:15

watch the IPL because I'm sick of this weather,

39:17

and I just want to sit there and watch

39:19

something and pretend I'm there, sort of

39:22

in as Barmee Army, or not Barmee Army, because that's

39:24

England, it's the international, no, it's not international, there's international

39:26

players there. I'm just sick of this weather, I want

39:28

to be somewhere warm and hot and just imagine it's

39:30

summer, so I'm going to watch that and pretend. Yeah.

39:33

Sorry, I'm sick of it. Technically,

39:37

that answers the question. It is, really. I'm just sort

39:39

of in that mood, Rick.

39:42

Yeah, I'm getting that. I know. Josh.

39:46

This Saturday night, I'm going to be

39:48

getting a nice Chinese, and I'm going

39:50

to be sitting down to watching the

39:53

boxing. We've got Dalton Smith, Jose Sapita.

39:55

Saturday night, one of our top young

39:57

UK fighters with a big step up

39:59

against a... very tough Mexican opponent

40:01

at the Sheffield Arena. Yeah,

40:04

Mesdas El-Kazin, International bout, much better.

40:06

Ned. I,

40:08

in common with about 13 or 14 other

40:10

people, probably, worldwide,

40:12

will be sitting down on Sunday

40:14

to watch the one-day

40:17

Flemish bicycle race, Ghent-Wevelgem, or

40:19

to give it its Flemish

40:21

name, Ghent-Wevelgem. It's

40:24

a one-day race of about 200 kilometres

40:26

through the battlefields of World War I.

40:28

The peloton will be racing, at least

40:30

in part, over extended sections of Napoleonic

40:33

cobblestone roads that cut through the

40:35

fields of Flanders and bouncing all over the

40:37

place and doing themselves all sorts of harm.

40:39

And then I'll look forward to the acres

40:41

of newsprint and analysis that will be devoted

40:43

to Ghent-Wevelgem in the sports pages of every

40:45

national newspaper on Monday. If I

40:47

wanted to watch Ghent-Wevelgem, where

40:51

would I watch it, then? On the telly. Is

40:53

it? Yes, but really niche services. Okay, fine.

40:56

Okay. I don't want to hear too much

40:58

about your niche services. Right, quick. Ducky. Let's

41:01

face it, there are far too

41:03

many meaningless internationals going on over

41:05

this weekend and into next week.

41:07

We need some domestic competition to

41:09

get excited about, and it seems

41:11

to have bypassed everyone that this

41:13

weekend sees the most middle class

41:15

of London derbies. It is, of course,

41:18

Saracens versus Harley Quinns at the Tottenham

41:20

Hotspur Stadium. Lots of

41:22

red trousers and putting shoes on for

41:24

aid. The nearest you'll get

41:27

to alternative culture is someone remarking

41:29

that the Killers album Hot Fuzz is

41:31

wicked. In a further twist, you'll

41:33

get to see a man who

41:37

likes to skew internationals now as well

41:39

on the park because Owen Farrell will

41:41

be playing for Saracens. Lots to get

41:43

excited about. Failing that if you do

41:45

need some more internationals, there is, of course,

41:47

the Derby of West Africa. I mean, that would

41:50

be nice for me, yeah. The Derby of

41:52

West Africa, we've all been talking about it. We've

41:54

all been thinking about it. Senegal versus Benin. Thank

41:57

you. All right, a quick one. Next,

42:00

have we got, yes we have got time. Based

42:02

on this. So

42:12

in tribute to a rock star,

42:14

Steve Harley, who passed away this

42:16

week, greatest Cockney rebel in sports.

42:19

Nice and quick please, Gail. Eric Bristow,

42:21

known as the Cockney, a crafty Cockney,

42:24

just one of the founding members of

42:26

the PDC, five world titles, lived on

42:28

cigarettes, about 20 pints of Guinness and

42:30

Vindaloo is definitely a rebel there. Yeah,

42:33

I think that's absolutely the right answer. I'm going to give you

42:35

some more points for that. Ned. Yeah,

42:37

well, very similar, Bobby George, who invented

42:39

the dance, Walk On, because without the Walk On,

42:41

Darts is Just Darts, really. So it's a big

42:43

part of the show. Someone thrust a

42:45

candelabra into his hand in Stoke one day and

42:48

said, walk on without the crowd or love it.

42:50

And they were bang on, right? He invented the

42:52

whole shebang, Bobby George. Yeah,

42:54

without the Walk On, Darts is Just Darts. That's the first

42:56

thing I've written down. Yeah,

42:58

it's nice. Good point, good point. Josh.

43:01

I might be grasping myself up here because technically

43:03

not a Cockney because he was

43:06

born in wordsly West Midlands. But

43:08

I've gone for... OK. Rony

43:11

O'Sullivan, the greatest snooker player ever. Mm.

43:15

OK. That's a bit awkward, isn't it? Hang on. Rony?

43:18

Rony O'Sullivan. He was born where? He was born in West

43:20

Midlands. He was born in West Midlands. I did not know

43:23

that. So technically, I mean, you've got to be a proper

43:25

Cockney, you've got to be born within this. I'm

43:28

giving you that, though. I'm giving you that. But he's

43:30

very Cockney. All right. Tuggie,

43:33

is it... Hang on. Who if I... Yes.

43:36

Yeah. Just thinking. The West

43:38

Midlands, just a stone stoke. Yeah. Just

43:41

a stone stoke from Walthamstoke. If you've got incredibly

43:43

good ears, you might just about be able to

43:45

hear the peeling of the bells. Yeah, I'm going

43:47

to sit with the snooker and go with

43:49

Steve Davis because he was born and he

43:51

slung him. He plums and plums dead. Now,

43:53

I don't know if you can hear the

43:55

bells from St Mary LaBeau in plums dead.

43:57

If the wind's in the right direction, may

44:00

have but he rebelled against his boring

44:02

snooker image and is now a sought

44:04

after DJ who even played at Glastonbury

44:06

last year. No. Yes,

44:09

Gail, yes. All right. Wow. Yeah,

44:11

and I just, right, let's have a

44:13

quick, a lot of chatter in my

44:15

ear unhelpfully and I've lost myself. Here

44:17

we go. Josh on 30. Gail, you

44:20

slip back actually, 30. Yeah, I was

44:22

going to have a talk with you.

44:24

I'm going to be 36 creditable for

44:26

all of you getting absolutely blown out

44:28

of the water, predominantly by the list

44:31

of people you'd upset. Ned,

44:33

in the lead on 44. I

44:35

knew it would come in handy. Okay, very quick

44:37

one before we get to any other business. Eden

44:40

has our claims. He got himself in shape for soccer

44:42

aid because, and I quote here, I don't want to

44:44

look like Peppa Pig. So, sports

44:46

people as children's cartoon characters please

44:49

Dougie. Okay, let's go wacky races.

44:51

Lead bull racing are the ant

44:53

hill mob with Christian Horner very

44:55

much dicked astardly. Love

44:57

it. Ned. James Milmer

44:59

sponged Bob Squarepants. I've no idea why, he just

45:01

looks a bit like him. Yeah,

45:04

weirdly that one. Gail?

45:06

Fafteklerk, South African Scrum half, a scrappy dude.

45:09

Just, I don't know if he's like really

45:11

cute or just really annoying. He's annoying.

45:13

He's both. You hear me Adam, leave

45:15

me Adam. He's both. Josh. Sam Allardyce.

45:17

He's fireman Sam because every club he

45:20

goes to he's putting out fires. Right,

45:24

any other business,

45:27

and it is, well, it is sourced, Ned's going into

45:29

defending in the front as well, we can be clear

45:31

on that, but it is all to play for for

45:33

the other three of you. So, any

45:36

other business? Gail, kick us off please. Right,

45:38

I'm going to have a little rant about entitled

45:40

small dog owners because I've got a dog, I've

45:42

got a Vymerana greyhound mix and he's like a

45:44

race horse, he's got to go out into the

45:46

fields and he's got to go and run. And

45:49

what you get is these people, you've got these small

45:51

dogs who think, they don't know

45:53

anything about dogs and my dogs running around. One

45:55

person turned around to me, this woman turned around

45:57

to me, when your dog is running too far.

46:00

She actually said, your dog is running too fast. I

46:02

went, well he's a dog, you know, that's what they

46:04

do, they run around, that's his breed, these sort of

46:06

things. No, my dog doesn't like it. I mean, your

46:08

dog is tail's wagging, it's absolutely fine. She goes, no,

46:10

no, my dad doesn't like it. I said, how do

46:12

you know your dog's not liking it? Because you don't

46:14

speak to your dog, your dog's not telling you that

46:16

he's not liking it, your dog's absolutely fine. So my

46:18

dog comes over, because he's like, what's going on? And

46:20

she goes, ah, ah, my dog doesn't like

46:23

it. And she picks up it. Well, it's just a guinea pig noise.

46:25

Ee, ee. It might

46:27

as well have been a guinea pig but she picks up

46:29

as well. She picks up this rat thing, guinea pig, whatever.

46:31

And then I'm like, do you pick your dog up? Because

46:33

my dog wants to say hello to your dog. So she's

46:35

now going, trying to sleep your dog. If you're going to

46:37

have a small dog, right, learn about dogs. Learn that my

46:39

dog is not going to eat your dog. So

46:42

just get over yourself and just learn and to be

46:44

a proper dog owner. Right, right,

46:46

go, enjoy that. Becky.

46:50

Yeah, let me leave you with something

46:52

to ponder and something to digest. Apropos

46:54

of a conversation I was having yesterday.

46:57

Why did the television show, Tales of

46:59

the Unexpected, repeated heavily on Sky Arts

47:01

at the moment, have opening

47:03

titles with a naked lady dancing in silhouette

47:05

when it bore no relation to any of

47:08

the storylines contained in the show? And

47:10

also, do you know this? Liz

47:13

Taylor had double the number of

47:15

eyelashes for a number of humans.

47:17

She had double the number of eyelashes for any human.

47:19

What is the normal number? So

47:23

take those into the weekend and do with them what you will.

47:26

Well, I think you should point to I don't really know why. Josh.

47:31

So there seems to be a growing

47:33

trend where I live in Essex,

47:36

where people are giving English parents

47:38

are giving their kids sort of

47:40

Mediterranean names because basically

47:42

I know this geezer, right? Porche.

47:45

I know this geezer, right? He has got

47:47

a Mrs who's got a half Italian granddad

47:49

and to sort of honor the Italian heritage

47:52

in their family, they called this

47:54

kid Vincenzo, which I find

47:56

very strange. Listen, lovely name for a kid,

47:58

but I think it's weird. I

48:00

mean for one, saying it in our accent,

48:03

you know, Vincenzo's not great. And then also,

48:05

if you... It's not like a club. We're

48:07

going up in Genzo. Yeah. If

48:10

you don't think it's odd, think about the shoes

48:12

on the other foot, right? Imagine if you go

48:14

to Italy and you meet someone who's got a

48:16

half Italian... Who's

48:18

got a half English grandad, right? And they're like,

48:20

Bonjour, no, this is my son, Keith. Keith!

48:24

I like to think it is happening. Ned.

48:31

It happens a bit in Belgium, that, doesn't it? There's lots

48:33

of people called Kenny in Belgium. For some

48:35

reason, I think they're all Liverpool fans back in the day, weren't they? But,

48:38

no, it loosely relates to what

48:40

you're saying about Saracens' Harlequins. Yeah.

48:42

And that kind of culture. I've been really

48:44

wound up recently because it's that time of year with St

48:47

Patrick's Day with the Chelten Festival and with the recently

48:50

finished Six Nations. It's all been a bit

48:52

too guinea-sy for me. Obviously,

48:54

other stouts are available. I'm

48:56

just a little bit over people pretending

48:58

to like stouts because it

49:00

is empirically and evidentially awful

49:03

tasting. It tastes of coffee

49:05

grinds and lard and very little else. It's

49:07

an awful drink. Yeah, I agree with you on

49:09

that. Alright, let's have a look at the scores

49:11

then. Josh, trailing in 4.38,

49:13

Gayle. Bette,

49:16

Gayle. Thank you. Oh.

49:19

Dougie, just pipping you on 41. Ned,

49:22

way out ahead on 48. Meaning

49:25

Ned and Dougie go into defending the

49:27

Fenceable. It's a ridiculous statement. You have

49:29

to answer it. You're not supposed to

49:32

enjoy it. If I say

49:34

I, I mean you. Dougie,

49:36

I'm going to let you go first and

49:38

you have 20 seconds on. I'd

49:42

happily pay £125 for the New England Football Top. Well,

49:47

I'll be honest with you. I would

49:49

rather pay money for the England Football

49:51

Top than the New Scotland Top, which

49:53

is a completely ridiculous dirge of a

49:56

jersey. Scotland should have blue,

49:58

white shorts and red socks. they

50:00

haven't, they've got a stupid psychedelic tartan with

50:02

fluorescent yellow so for the first time in

50:04

my life I would rather buy the England

50:06

top over the Scottish top. Weirdly

50:09

I think I believe that. You have 20 seconds

50:11

on, let's face it,

50:21

riding a bike should never be considered a

50:23

real sport, it's a pastime. I've

50:25

been saying this forever I can't believe it I come

50:27

on the show and you pick a truce like that.

50:29

I've been trying to tell absolutely everybody all the way

50:31

down the years that the sport I

50:34

cover is an absolute joke. So by Brazil

50:36

he's got it absolutely bang on. They're a

50:38

menace, they ride seven abreast through London, they

50:40

think they're Bradley Wiggins, they're jumping up on

50:42

the pavement all the time. They're Dopers, we

50:44

know that much, all of them pretty much.

50:46

It's a nonce. I mean

50:48

look I've got to. It

50:51

was sort of a nervous, I've got to give

50:53

it to Ned, haven't I? I've got to give

50:55

it to Ned. Very nice. Third

50:57

debutante winner of my era. Congratulations Ned.

51:00

It's an honour, thank you. And looking

51:02

forward to seeing you in 21 years

51:04

time. Thanks everyone, that was, that wasn't

51:06

awful. This has been a world's end

51:08

production for BBC Radio 5 Live and

51:10

now after the news it's 5 Live

51:13

Sport. Hello you're listening to

51:15

the podcast Extra Fighting Talk. Couple of

51:17

things to get into. First of all

51:19

Ned you teased us a bit with

51:21

your fantastic list of people you had

51:23

offended at a sporting arena and

51:26

you mentioned that one of them had pinned you

51:28

to a wall. Who was it and why? It

51:31

was the West Ham manager at the

51:33

time, Alan Pardew. He'd taken Umbridge, a

51:35

piece that I'd done, for a

51:39

much lamented and missed program,

51:42

not called the Championship that

51:44

used to go out on Sunday and

51:46

I'd done something that he didn't like

51:48

on that and he, the thing

51:50

is he kept the grudge going for about three or

51:53

four years and I was totally unaware of it until

51:55

I went ahead of a Europa

51:57

League match to go and introduce myself to him after all this time

51:59

and he said me outside son like that

52:01

and yeah he actually said he

52:03

actually said you know what

52:06

when I saw that go out I hated

52:08

you and I still do

52:10

but we're mates now actually it really held on

52:12

to the grudge yeah no he's over he's over

52:14

it with it's all good it's all good to

52:16

me and the boy Pardjoe. How did

52:19

you repair the damage? Well weirdly he

52:21

revealed himself to be a big cycling

52:23

fan and when Bradley Wiggins won the

52:25

2012 Tour de France shortly

52:27

after that he was a Newcastle manager and I was doing

52:29

a match at Newcastle he came up and said everything

52:32

all the history that you and me had

52:34

that's all gone that was amazing what I

52:36

just witnessed in the summer so I've got

52:38

Bradley Wiggins to thank for sort of healing

52:40

the wounds brokering the piece brokering to see

52:42

me and Pardjoe. Very good very good now

52:45

this is something that I wanted to mention on

52:47

the show but forgot so last weekend I

52:50

played Snooker and I got a

52:52

seven ball break 21 thank you

52:54

and I was absolutely and still

52:57

am cockahoop completely thrilled

52:59

with that so objectively what

53:02

crap sporting achievement has delighted you in

53:04

your own in your own life so

53:06

something that is that is bad but

53:08

you're pleased with anything at

53:10

all. Okay I'll give you an answer. This

53:12

is for anyone who loves golf when you

53:14

start playing it you know as I did

53:16

as a kid it's a really frustrating game

53:19

to learn because it takes a long time it's

53:21

rubbish shot after rubbish shot and then you might

53:23

play around you have ten decent shots in and

53:25

around and then you get to a stage where

53:27

maybe every third shot is good and then

53:30

every second and then you have

53:32

the magical moment when you play 18 holes of

53:34

golf and you break 100 and that could be

53:36

going around in 99

53:39

98 but and it's a terrible score you know

53:41

you might be 37 over par or something but

53:44

but there was my moment. You've

53:46

got three figures you're into double

53:48

figures scorecards it's a huge moment.

53:51

Yeah can you remember when you did it? Never

53:53

done it. This is another

53:55

one of yours. I think this might happen in the future.

54:00

It was the Braid Hills golf course

54:02

in Edinburgh, Braid Hills 2 and it

54:04

would have been in around about 92

54:09

93 how old is young Dougie Anderson? He's a teenager.

54:11

Yeah, well, I'm still gonna buy my showbiz age of

54:13

27 Josh

54:19

I think maybe we've already

54:21

had yours actually That

54:25

was quite that's quite a big competition to win to

54:27

be honest Rick, you know That's a great bit of

54:29

silverware to win, but I probably say

54:33

Took Stevenage on football manager from

54:35

Lee to I

54:38

took him to the Premiership and we've got

54:40

in a Champions League and then yeah, I

54:43

wasted hours of my life to that game

54:46

And you saw vindicated when you're taking Stevenage to the champion.

54:48

I mean, absolutely What used to do is he

54:50

should sit in bed all day and and then play

54:52

it and my mom used to like take it off Me now

54:54

and again she coaches does nothing good for you that game You

54:57

know and then when I used to go to the toilet for

54:59

a little toilet break I sit on the toilet and I didn't

55:01

view myself As

55:04

if you know about signings and that and I'd

55:08

love to play that game again, but you know, I'm a

55:10

full-grown man now got family response, but I'd lose it all

55:14

Place in the toilet You

55:17

don't to be interviewed yourself in front of your mother I don't think She

55:20

would go you talk with yourself in there. Yeah,

55:22

you know special items and that you know,

55:24

yeah Quite a lonely child I've

55:28

represented England against Germany at football Yeah,

55:31

I have We're covering the

55:33

World Cup in 2006 for ITV and after a

55:35

match that we'd all just done at the Dortmund

55:38

West Farland Stadium or whatever it's called German

55:40

TV played English TV in

55:43

a on a hockey pitch just adjacent and that

55:45

the German side all turned up in actual kit

55:48

With boots and start taking it pretty seriously, but

55:51

we won the match But we

55:53

had a few ringers playing for us in suits We

55:56

had Andy Townsend's Ali

55:58

McCoy's and marshalling the

56:00

defence, we had Rude Hullet, where in a

56:03

Gucci suit and loafers and all that,

56:07

spinning balls and

56:09

we won quite comfortably actually. Obviously I played no part in

56:11

the victory but

56:13

yeah. But you were there? I was

56:15

there. Very much there. What position were you playing? Wherever

56:17

Rude shouted for me to go. No,

56:21

you described that as I was given a free

56:24

roll by Rude Hullet. Gail? Well

56:27

I've actually recently started playing football so I've never had

56:29

the chance to play football. So even when my mum

56:31

was in football I've never really had the chance because

56:33

it wasn't really the thing for girls to do. So

56:35

I've got two boys and every

56:38

Sunday the dads in the sort of mainly

56:40

the 10, 11 year old age group would

56:42

just hire a sort of five or side

56:44

pitch or whatever and go, what's the bigger

56:46

one? Seven or seven sides? Yeah,

56:48

seven sides. Anyway, I've just got sick of watches so

56:50

I thought, you know what, I'm actually going to start

56:53

playing. And basically I get

56:55

it now because I scored the most

56:57

amazing goal, right? And I cannot stop shutting

56:59

up about it. I have told everyone. I've

57:01

been like, oh my God. And then I

57:03

had a pint afterwards and then I was

57:06

still, it was all I'm making from football

57:08

and I was like, I had to have

57:10

a bath. Honestly, I turned into the stereotypical

57:13

seven or side line or whatever bloke and

57:15

I love it. I absolutely love it. I'm

57:17

looking forward to Sunday afternoons now. I did,

57:19

I pushed around 10, 11 year old boys.

57:22

I was like, get out of here. It

57:24

was absolutely brilliant. So this is it. I

57:26

found my calling there. Have you

57:28

had a disagreement with anyone? Oh, totally. When you know your

57:30

partner's having a side point. One

57:33

of the dads wanted to just sort of watch shirts at the end. So

57:35

that's when it got a little bit like, oh yeah.

57:38

Can you describe the goal please? Well,

57:41

basically my son, he was playing on the

57:43

same team as my boys as well. So

57:45

my son's shot came off the crossbar. It

57:47

bounced perfectly up for me and I just

57:50

volley. Thanks everyone. That

57:52

was great. Oh, I love it. I'm still buzzing from

57:54

it as you can tell. It

58:00

is England-Brazil this weekend, which got

58:02

me thinking, who is the

58:04

greatest sporting Brazilian, and you

58:07

cannot shout Pele, because I

58:09

want greatest sporting Brazilian that

58:11

doesn't play football. I

58:14

think there's a very obvious answer, so I

58:16

want to get it out of the way first. Who's going for it

58:18

in Senna? Anyone? No,

58:20

no, no, no. Well, how? No,

58:23

Senna. Well done for avoiding that then. Ned, who

58:25

have you gone for? Someone

58:28

who isn't a footballer. Yes. Well,

58:30

I'm going for someone who was

58:32

a footballer, but isn't a footballer.

58:34

Okay. It's Alan Brazil. He's

58:39

slipped very comfortably into the role of being,

58:41

effectively, the cultural ambassador for Brazil, and all

58:44

things Brazilian, in the UK on the airwaves.

58:46

He's a man, I've actually been in his

58:48

studio for his radio show very early in

58:50

the morning, and he expressly

58:53

and viscerally hates cycling

58:55

and cyclists, and he uses the

58:57

airwaves regularly to make that point

58:59

abundantly clear. But he does like

59:01

race horses, and for me, that's

59:03

enough to make him the greatest

59:05

Brazilian ever. Alan Brazil. He

59:07

likes this, or head to head between him and

59:09

Jeremy Vine, actually. Anything involving Alan Brazil's head would

59:11

be good. I

59:15

know the very funny thing. Gail.

59:18

I'm going for a family that have

59:20

put Brazil into the actual name of

59:22

the sport. So I'm going for the

59:24

Gracie family for Brazilian jiu-jitsu. So

59:27

these guys, the Gracie family, they

59:29

have taken and adapted one of

59:31

the best martial arts now that

59:33

formed from judo, and they've created

59:35

something that is just, obviously, paramount

59:37

in, obviously, ultimate fighting and MMA.

59:39

So basically, you've got Roger,

59:42

Roger, a bit, Jorge, how do you say it?

59:44

Oh, Jorge. Oh, Josh. How do you say it,

59:46

Josh? Josh. Josh. Josh. Roger.

59:49

All right. Roger Gracie.

59:51

Jorge. Jorge. Jorge. Jorge. Jorge.

59:54

Gracie. Sorry. Just, yeah. Anyway. But

59:56

just the Gracie family, what they've

59:58

done for Brazilian jiu-jitsu. Juzitsu.

1:00:01

Ducky? Well I've decided to go

1:00:03

a bit off-piece on this

1:00:05

and answer with a literally Brazilian sports

1:00:07

person which I believe... They're

1:00:10

actually Brazilian. Oh are they? Yes,

1:00:12

they are Brazilian. Hence the old...

1:00:14

Oh hey, I thought it was

1:00:16

just the sport was Brazilian. No,

1:00:18

they're Brazilian, they're from Brazil and they put

1:00:20

it into the Brazilian into the Juzitsu. There

1:00:23

was such a proper answer. Ah yes

1:00:25

of course, Bien, sure. I

1:00:28

was literally done there, Ducky. I don't

1:00:30

know how I'm gonna respond to this

1:00:32

one but I must try with Anderson

1:00:34

Silva, the mixed martial artist and boxer.

1:00:37

Now, he's a big

1:00:39

name in Brazilian sport, he holds the record for

1:00:41

the longest reign of any UFC title holder, middleweight

1:00:43

champion between 2006-2013. Also

1:00:46

a record 16 consecutive wins and it

1:00:48

doesn't matter and nor should it matter

1:00:51

that he lost a 25 year old

1:00:53

Jake Paul in a some boxing match

1:00:55

when he was 47. That's

1:00:57

not an embarrassment on Anderson's part

1:01:00

because it's a sad indictment of

1:01:02

how little money is made by

1:01:04

these UFC champions thus leading to

1:01:06

these desperate late paydays. Yes, it's

1:01:09

a serious answer but I think I had to

1:01:11

come up with something serious after an absolute confusion

1:01:14

over a Brazilian Juzitsu. Thank you. Yeah, completely agree

1:01:16

with you, Ducky. Well done. I think you've saved

1:01:18

yourself there. Josh? Can I make an objection? No?

1:01:21

Yes, yes. I will allow it. UFC is

1:01:24

not a sport, is it? I never said

1:01:26

UFC was. My answer is Juzitsu, a Brazilian Juzitsu.

1:01:28

No, I think he's having a perfect time. Yeah,

1:01:30

I wouldn't have a bit of a joke. Thanks,

1:01:32

then. It's good, you know. It's

1:01:35

not a sport, is it? Sports are a metaphor

1:01:37

for warfare. UFC is just warfare. Well,

1:01:39

I'm gonna give you a point for that

1:01:41

because I was confused. Well, Ned, Ned, Ned,

1:01:43

not for the first time you've opened your

1:01:45

mouth and a great big truth just popped

1:01:47

in. Josh.

1:01:51

So for this person,

1:01:53

it has absolutely nothing to do with her

1:01:55

looks, right? But in 2014, she was voted

1:01:57

the 89th most powerful woman in the world.

1:02:00

by Fools. She's done loads of work on

1:02:02

social and environmental issues, donated loads of her

1:02:06

earnings to charity and of course is

1:02:08

previously married to the greatest American footballer

1:02:10

of all time. It's a course Brazilian

1:02:12

fashion model and I'm going to get

1:02:15

this wrong, so correct

1:02:17

me if I've got the pronunciation wrong, Gazelle.

1:02:20

Gazelle. Yeah. So, is that

1:02:22

wrong? Look, yeah. Is it

1:02:24

Gazelle or Gazelle? Gazelle. Gazelle.

1:02:28

Gazelle. There you go. She's

1:02:30

a good answer. Rock, unless

1:02:32

she's a UFC fighter. I don't think

1:02:34

she is. I mean, that could

1:02:36

probably happen at some point. But what sport is she

1:02:38

playing? Well, I would say, you know, the physical sort

1:02:40

of shape that they've got to get in for the

1:02:43

Victoria's Secret model runway walk, arguably

1:02:45

could make her an athlete, you know? You

1:02:47

could have had it at Ntena. I

1:02:50

thought someone else would go with that one, Rick. So

1:02:52

you thought, I mean, honestly, it's a complete mess

1:02:54

this round. I've had one sport in Brazilian, I

1:02:57

think. OK, fine. I mean, I'll

1:02:59

give you...