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Paul McNamee, Jenny Ryan, Jake Wood, Mark Watson

Paul McNamee, Jenny Ryan, Jake Wood, Mark Watson

Released Saturday, 25th November 2023
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Paul McNamee, Jenny Ryan, Jake Wood, Mark Watson

Paul McNamee, Jenny Ryan, Jake Wood, Mark Watson

Paul McNamee, Jenny Ryan, Jake Wood, Mark Watson

Paul McNamee, Jenny Ryan, Jake Wood, Mark Watson

Saturday, 25th November 2023
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Episode Transcript

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1:51

slight

2:00

pause, which I think I didn't enjoy. The

2:03

Bolt and Brainiac is a better nickname than the Vixen, isn't

2:05

it? I think so, yeah. I mean, fewer

2:08

connotations are going through people's bins. Not

2:10

no connotations are going through people's bins,

2:12

but fewer. You've got a book out, so you've got 15 seconds

2:14

to plug it, starting now. It's all about quizzes,

2:16

and I think you even get a mention in it, Rick, because

2:19

you did a quiz, didn't you? Yes, I did.

2:21

Well, there you go. You're a guest on our podcast, Fingers on Buzzers,

2:24

and that is also the title of the book, and it's

2:26

a good lesson, and it's a real good read.

2:28

That was the 15

2:30

seconds, and you used them admirably. I was going

2:32

to give you some extra seconds as soon as you said I was in it. Next

2:35

up, a man who's fighting to a day of use five years ago next

2:37

month, and on for the 13th

2:40

time, but hasn't won a fighting talk since 2019.

2:44

The wheels have never been on, frankly. Actor and Arsenal fan

2:46

Jake Wood. Yeah. Hello, talk. Morning,

2:49

Rick, how are you? Yeah, I'm good,

2:51

thank you. Oh, stats are not good, are they? No,

2:53

and they're absolutely miserable, sorry to

2:55

say it. We can't really talk about

2:57

the outcome, because certainly it's been on telly,

3:00

but the last time we were together, Jake

3:02

was on Celebrity Catch Break. Yeah, I was going to mention

3:04

that, Rick. Yeah. Yeah, say what you see.

3:07

Yeah, so we are, I mean, we're leading glamorous lives is what

3:09

I'm saying. That was a good day,

3:11

that, wasn't it? My brain was hurting at the end of

3:13

that. I've got to admit, it was like three

3:15

hours of looking at this screen with this, I don't

3:17

know what that, what is that thing? Mr. Chips.

3:20

No, what is it? I don't know what it is. What is

3:22

it? It's Mr. Chips. Yeah, come on. I was dreaming about

3:24

that thing. Well,

3:27

I'm glad to remind you. Well,

3:30

it's nice to have you on. Yeah, lovely feedback. I'll try

3:32

and make sure that your brain hurts by the end of it. On

3:34

for show number 36. 18 years

3:38

ago this week, he made his Fighting

3:40

Talk debut. Right now, that span

3:42

makes him the fifth longest serving panellist

3:45

in Fighting Talk history, behind

3:47

Brady, Oldroyd, Mills and Kelner. His 12

3:50

Fighting Talk wins have come under six different

3:52

hosts. However, he

3:54

has not won any of his five previous appearances on

3:57

recorded versions of the show, including, thankfully, an unbelievable

3:59

amount of time. broadcasted DTI effort

4:01

about having Mike Tyson round for Christmas dinner. Comic

4:04

and Bristol City fan Mark Watson. I

4:07

said what I said. And we couldn't broadcast

4:09

it. That was the problem with that. That

4:11

was exactly the problem. Yes, erm...

4:14

I mean, those statistics made

4:16

me feel very old indeed. First time I did Fightin'

4:19

Talk, the questions were things like, will Nigel Clough

4:21

be as good as Brian in the forest, actually?

4:25

Should we persist with the orange ball in snowy

4:27

conditions? The answer to that, of course, is yes.

4:30

Yeah, that should never have gone away. How

4:33

were you adjusting to life as a viral sensation? Remained

4:35

the same man you always knew, Rick. I get up in

4:37

the morning, have a cup of tea, put my trousers on, sometimes

4:39

it's the other way around. Yeah,

4:41

getting up is always the first bit, though. No, I remain

4:44

the same boy that Fightin' Talk listeners

4:46

have always known. Again, though, this is my first time

4:48

under Edwards, as it were. So,

4:51

just looking forward to seeing how you compare

4:53

to the many, many other custodians that

4:55

I see. Oh, yeah, well, please do rank

4:58

me against the other custodians, I'd love that. I

5:00

love how the wheels don't come off, as I always say. Let's

5:04

go, we will start with this.

5:07

So, a corner, in it comes, and it's Clanche

5:09

headed in! Harry Kane

5:12

may have got a touch of the defender on the way

5:14

in. It's an own goal, it's an Etanasoff

5:17

own goal, but it is North Macedonia 1, England 1.

5:20

Absolutely thrilling stuff. Gareth Southgate admitted

5:22

this week that reducing the squad back down to 23 players

5:25

for the next year's Euros means we can

5:27

take far fewer gambles. So,

5:29

let's give Gareth a gamble worth taking

5:32

next summer. Jay? I think

5:34

he should play Aaron Ramsdale, even if Aaron

5:36

Ramsdale is not playing as much as he

5:39

should for Arsenal. He should take a gamble

5:41

on him, because I think the whole situation is, as

5:45

an Arsenal fan, it's quite frankly

5:48

puzzling. He's got two first keepers,

5:50

isn't he? He's going to rotate

5:52

the setter, and he hasn't done that. I

5:55

just feel really bad for Ramsdale, he's done nothing wrong, he's

5:57

a fan favourite, we love him there, he's so passionate. you

6:00

know for the club and and

6:03

he's sitting there on the bench he doesn't look happy does

6:05

he Ramsdale and then and then you get Gareth putting the

6:07

boot in saying look if he's not playing he's got no chance

6:09

of playing for England it's

6:11

just it's all gone so wrong in such

6:14

a short space of time

6:17

and you know he doesn't

6:19

look happy he doesn't know I'm getting a bit I'm

6:21

getting a touch of the Ramsdale's yeah listen

6:26

Gareth needs to every place for Arsenal and not

6:28

he should put him in there don't worry about Jordan Pickbury

6:30

he's better than Jordan Mark well

6:32

that lad of Tannes off who scored the equaliser against North Macedonia

6:35

looks worth a go well

6:39

if we're talking gambles Gareth could do England

6:41

not to get out of the groups is 12 to 1 but I don't think he's

6:43

allowed to do that I would say I'm

6:46

really not in the spirit if I talk but I agree

6:48

with the agree with the Ramsdale point

6:50

I would say, fans

6:53

gate, of course you knew that was

6:55

going I do know but I wanted it on the record that Ramsdale

6:57

has been harshly treated something

6:59

bigger I think every

7:02

time Southgate announces a squad no matter who

7:04

is not in it or isn't it everyone complains

7:06

Southgate should ignore

7:08

all that where he needs to start taking more gambles

7:11

is in game he needs to make bolder

7:13

substitutions I would say Southgate's one

7:15

floor manager is too scared to influence

7:17

the outcome of games too scared to change the pattern

7:20

so I think don't worry about taking you

7:22

know these Maguire Henderson all these unpopular

7:24

choices stick to your guns but then he just needs

7:26

to be more flexible when

7:28

the chips are down that is what separates Southgate

7:31

from from glory I'm always so

7:33

surprised when someone gives like a reasonable I've got

7:35

a nother long day especially

7:38

me I know 20 years of talking complete crap

7:40

on this show but just now and again I show another

7:42

side it's a real yeah

7:44

real pleasure to see it Jenny

7:47

yeah I think he's gonna have to take

7:49

some gambles I can seem betting on a bit of youth

7:51

I mean Gerald Quonser hasn't looked

7:53

at a place at Liverpool and Jerry

7:56

Brantway could get a call up because

7:58

you know the going to

8:00

be an injury crisis so I think

8:03

adding a bit of quality depth is

8:05

going to be important but he also

8:07

needs to avoid playing it safe and

8:10

leave a certain talismanic team member

8:12

at home. He needs to take a bet on

8:15

fashion darling while the waistcoat

8:17

may be imbued with very good fortune

8:19

it's a safe bet but it's going to be too warm

8:21

and sticky in Germany's continental

8:23

climate for that. He needs to

8:26

think outside of his comfort zone so get

8:29

very fashionable. Grunge, Corey,

8:30

very nargariff so maybe some

8:32

faggy clad trousers and a moth-eaten beanie.

8:35

The Canadian tuxedo is

8:37

still very popular double denim maybe

8:39

triple denim maybe quadruple but

8:42

I'm going to advise him to

8:44

bet on the hottest men's fashion trend of

8:46

the moment that the skirt not

8:49

the kilt the skirt even

8:51

John Cena has been seen in

8:53

a skirt. Gareth take that fashion

8:55

gamble just make sure you moisturise

8:57

your legs first. Paul

9:00

my thoughts for Gareth's gamble is much

9:03

more simple and straightforward. I think

9:05

Gareth should play football

9:07

given the way that England

9:09

team have been performing against the might of

9:11

Malta and North Macedonia. I'm

9:14

not going to say golden generation

9:16

even though English people like to claim every

9:19

generation is a golden generation but he has

9:21

got some incredible footballers

9:24

most of them stolen from Ireland. Declan

9:27

Rice, Jack Grealish,

9:30

even Harry Kean, Fallis and

9:32

Gollway he should have been playing for Ireland what team that would

9:34

have been but leaving that aside

9:37

with all of these players just play some football

9:39

Gareth don't be so English unbuttoned up

9:41

have a go at doing what

9:43

it is that people pay to go and see rather

9:46

than passing it side by side and playing six defences

9:48

midfielders or whatever it is you've decided.

9:51

Now slightly disappointingly for you you're

9:53

about to lose a point for the

9:55

simple reason that when you first said that I thought

9:57

you meant bring himself on to play. Yeah.

10:00

I wish I liked the idea of, but you didn't mean

10:02

that, so you lost a point. I certainly did not mean

10:04

that. I don't want to know the point of that.

10:07

Fine. It's gone. You're

10:09

back down to zero. Question

10:11

done. We'll move then. Come on. Very

10:14

early. It's question two. It comes

10:16

from you, the listeners. Hello,

10:19

Harry Heath. Hello, hello. Good morning.

10:22

How are you, Harry? You're all good? All good,

10:24

yes, yes, yes. All ready, ready to go. That's where I like

10:26

to hear you. Your intro song actually relates to your question. Right. So

10:29

come on, eh? What is your question, Harry? So, in

10:31

the world of NFL, with Mr. Taylor Swift, aka Travis Kelsey, and

10:33

his brother Jason releasing this cover of Fairy Tale of New

10:35

York in Time for Christmas, with lyrics including, You're handsome,

10:37

you're pretty, you're the king of

10:39

South Philly. So, in

10:42

the world of NFL, with Mr.

10:45

Taylor Swift, aka Travis Kelsey,

10:47

and his brother Jason, releasing

10:49

this cover of Fairy Tale of New York in

10:51

Time for Christmas, with lyrics including,

10:54

You're handsome, you're pretty, you're the king of

10:56

South Philly. Which two people from

10:58

the world of sport would you like to see team

11:00

up to sing a festive chartopper, and

11:02

what short song should they sing? Good

11:05

luck.

11:06

Thanks very much, Harry,

11:08

for the luck in particular. I mean, the first

11:10

thing to note is that I don't hate it. I

11:13

really don't hate it. Paul. There

11:16

is only one duo on one track.

11:19

We have to have Roy King

11:21

and Mika Richards together. And

11:24

when they get together, they are going to record,

11:26

maybe it's cold outside. And

11:29

it doesn't really matter who takes

11:31

which part, because whoever does it,

11:34

it is going to be weird. If it is

11:36

Mika trying to bring Roy back saying, I'll

11:39

put some records on while I pour. That

11:41

is really, really uncomfortable. And if

11:43

it's Roy flipping that round, that's even worse.

11:46

So that is the record that we have to hear. Yeah,

11:49

good luck beating that. Mark. Well,

11:51

in fact, Paul's already said there was only one track and one answer.

11:53

So we're done. Yeah. I'd

11:56

quickly like to say, I think the fairytale

11:58

New York situation is out of control. now we need

12:00

I know you say you didn't mind the song this version I think

12:03

there should be an emergency five-year

12:05

freeze on anyone doing any more versions of it it's

12:07

out of control Christmas is

12:09

a time for sort of patching up old sort

12:11

of animosities and drawing a line

12:13

under things I'd like to see Venger and Ferguson team

12:16

up and specifically I'd like to see

12:18

them do Rockin' Around the Christmas tree. Do you

12:20

remember the Kim Wild

12:22

and Mel Smith version of Rockin' Around the Christmas tree? Of course.

12:24

Little bits of banter I'd like to see them recreate

12:27

not just the video but the banter or

12:29

I love to pull a cracker looks like you already have that

12:31

sort of thing. It's

12:35

very hard to imagine us in being a celebrating Christmas you

12:37

can't see him in a jumper you can't see

12:39

him sort of just idling with a sherry but

12:41

this is I'd love to see the video and

12:45

I'd love to see them embark on a Robson and Jerome

12:47

esque long term calling partnership

12:49

yeah. Is he your thing in full album? Yeah

12:51

I'll give you a point. In time yeah yeah I'm happy

12:54

to see it. Jenny.

12:56

One of the all-time festive bangers

12:58

has to be I Wish It Could Be Christmas Everyday

13:01

by Wizard confronted by Roy Wood.

13:03

I'm picturing the band being joined by another Roy,

13:06

Roy Hobson. You can picture

13:08

it can't you? He's got his wig, his purple

13:10

shades, fake snow everywhere.

13:11

She's quite easy to picture

13:14

yeah. Yeah.

13:15

And he goes okay kids okay

13:17

you lot take it and then the quiet

13:19

kids the young Crystal Palace side

13:21

come in in 442

13:22

obviously and take

13:24

the bridge led

13:27

by guest choir boy, voice of an angel,

13:29

little Joey Cole in his Pundra uniform

13:32

which does look like a cross between something from Peaky

13:34

Blinders the musical and a Dickensian Urchin which

13:36

seems very festive to me. Let the bells

13:39

ring out for Christmas.

13:39

Jake. I like

13:42

that I would like to see the Gibraltar manager

13:44

Julio Cesar Rebath do a duet

13:47

with his captain Roy Cipollina and

13:49

I'd love to see them sing the John Prine

13:51

seminal 1973 Christmas hit

13:54

Christmas in Prison. That's

13:56

where the Gibraltar team need to be in it after

13:58

they lost 14-0 to France. and then they lost 6-0 to

14:00

the Netherlands about three days later. It probably

14:03

would be that hard to get them to do that either. Yeah, it's

14:05

the only realistic one we've heard. We'll

14:08

give them a call after this. Harry,

14:13

I imagine you're still there. Who

14:15

are you going to award the bonus points to? Well,

14:18

the tough one, I think my Spurs

14:21

loyalty probably means I can't give it to

14:23

Mark with Arsenal on the track. I

14:25

didn't have that information at the time. Apologies,

14:28

apologies. As a quizzer, I

14:30

probably should go with Jenny, but I think the vision

14:32

of Roy and Mika

14:35

singing our way together, I think it's

14:37

the stuff of nightmares or dreams, but I think it's going

14:39

to get the points. Yeah, I think that's

14:42

a very good call from you, Harry. Thanks very much for

14:44

your question. All right,

14:46

cheers. Have a good day. Likewise,

14:49

very polite man, Harry, I thought. Question

14:51

number three then, a big

14:53

night of boxy in December with a bill including Anthony

14:56

Joshua and Deonce Wilder not fighting each

14:58

other. All takes place in boxing's

15:01

sentimental birthplace, Saudi Arabia.

15:03

And promoter Eddie Hearn says, boxing is

15:06

in the best place it's ever been. But

15:08

which sport is currently in its worst

15:11

place? Jake. I would say, listen,

15:13

I'm going to say boxing. Boxing is in the

15:15

worst place ever, Rick. I mean,

15:18

listen, there's been one heavyweight title

15:20

fight this year, that was Uzzik versus

15:22

Dubois. I think it's the first time that's ever happened

15:25

since about, well, sometime in

15:27

the 50s. No one wants to fight each

15:29

other. You've got this perforation

15:31

of Saudi money. So unless they're getting

15:33

hundreds of millions, they feel like they're being underpaid.

15:36

You've got the rise of misfits boxing YouTubers,

15:38

which is quite frankly a joke. And...

15:41

Yeah, I mean, if

15:45

you get Chris Eubank Jr. and Conor Ben,

15:47

for example, if or if Fury AJ ever

15:49

happens, these fights are going to happen out in Saudi Arabia. They're

15:51

not going to happen over here, where they should be. So

15:54

listen, I know everyone is making a lot of money in boxing.

15:56

Eddie Hearn is obviously happy. He's very

15:58

smiley.

15:59

I think for a real boxing fan, I

16:02

think boxing is not in the best place. Absolutely.

16:05

Bang on. He looks like a Cheshire cat. Um,

16:07

Mark.

16:08

See, I was going to say that, and I was also going to say the Ramster

16:11

thing. Jake is right in my head here. He's in

16:13

my head. I feel like I've been man-marked at every

16:15

corner. Because

16:17

it is true, this thing of like, they won't bite each other because they hate

16:20

each other too much. It's like, well, one way of sorting that out is

16:22

traditionally to punch each other. But, OK, fine. If

16:26

we're talking about sports that are in a poor way, though, I'd say

16:28

rugby, club rugby union in this

16:30

country is a huge thing. In fact, you can lose three

16:33

teams from the top division to

16:35

financial problems. And it's sort of been quietly

16:37

going along for a long time. There's

16:39

multiple problems. As soon as you get clubs in, like,

16:41

Wasp going to Coventry, London Irish

16:44

moving around, this is a long-term consequence

16:46

of clubs moving away from their fan base. But also, rugby.

16:49

And I love rugby. I've taken a lot of stick

16:51

for that over the years on Fighting Talk. But it doesn't quite

16:54

make enough money to support the professional

16:56

structure we've got at the moment. So, basically, I have

16:59

to say to go into serious monetary again, Rick, that

17:01

someone needs to shake up rugby. There are a few

17:04

in all sorts of trouble. I do like it when you

17:06

do your funny answers as well, just so you know. It's a bit of fun.

17:08

I've got it all in my locker, Rick. You

17:11

lose a point of bragging. Jenny. Robbed.

17:15

With Saudi Arabia hosting the bouts, I

17:17

do think that ethically, boxing

17:19

is, I agree, in probably

17:21

the worst place it's ever been.

17:22

Stop agreeing with everyone. Hi!

17:26

That's a general point for all of me.

17:28

There is a more toxic environment. There's

17:30

an artificial city filled with tourists, the mafia

17:33

and artificial people. Formula One

17:35

tying themselves to the crux and sleaze of

17:37

Las Vegas hasn't quite paid

17:39

off, destroying, as it has, a multi-million

17:42

pound room broom with a rogue manhole cover.

17:45

It sounds like the state of roads in Bolton, to be honest.

17:49

Geographically, it's in a terrible place, but also

17:51

Formula One's having an existential

17:53

crisis. Identity crisis. What

17:55

is it these days? Is it a sport? Is

17:58

it a global

17:58

entertainment road shape?

17:59

Or is it a content farm for drag to

18:02

survive? Who knows? No, it's

18:04

a hobby, isn't it? There

18:06

we go. But Jake has spoken. If

18:09

you wanted the answer, there it is. We

18:11

need to stop agreeing, but yes. We're allowed to

18:13

answer each other's rhetorical questions. Yeah,

18:15

it's not a sport, it's a hobby, isn't it? Driving. Driving

18:18

around in your multi-million pound from from. Paul.

18:22

I think high level top of pyramid

18:24

football. It is in a crisis

18:27

moment. So much Saudi money has made

18:29

it so that every piece

18:32

of contract negotiation has got a

18:34

file amount of money. Nobody knows who's going

18:36

where. Multi-club ownership, not just in

18:38

Saudi, but beyond with American owners

18:40

buying up things in Europe. With

18:44

British owners buying up in France and

18:46

in Britain.

18:47

Major clubs are getting point stocked. I know they

18:49

do that in Italy just as a matter of course. But now

18:51

it's coming into the Premier League. And

18:53

the World Cup. The World Cup is going to

18:55

be 48 teams next time. 48 teams, 16

18:58

cities. It's so long.

19:01

Nobody's quite sure when it's going to start. It's sort of

19:03

some time in June, maybe, might end in

19:05

July. It's like the cricket World Cup. It's

19:08

becoming matin-terminable. I think high level

19:10

football is in a serious problem. Anyone

19:12

want to agree with that? No, we don't dare.

19:15

Good, good. You learned it. We stopped ourselves even from nodding

19:17

in the studio. Right then, the score's Jenny.

19:19

It's pretty tight. Jenny's

19:24

got nine. Mark is on

19:26

ten and Tyde... Well, no, actually

19:28

Mark is Tyde before, to be fair, on ten. And Jake

19:30

is out in the lead on 11. I've

19:42

been saying for quite a few weeks I want that bed to just

19:44

be about five seconds shorter. But no one

19:46

listens to me. The way

19:48

I'm doing it, I'm quite passive aggressively,

19:51

not feeling the time. At some point,

19:53

someone will make it shorter. That's my

19:55

plan. Okay, a quick one. Man

19:58

City take on Liverpool this lunchtime. I want

20:00

to know if you have to be stuck in a lift with either Pep or Jurgen,

20:02

which manager would you prefer to spend

20:05

quality time with? And it is

20:07

a quickie. Paul.

20:09

Jurgen.

20:10

Every Liverpool fan and loads of people say

20:12

he's a lovely guy, I want to get into a lift

20:14

and then see how lovely he is by mumbling.

20:17

When he says, what floor do you want to go to,

20:19

I want to go... He

20:23

will get so annoyed and then we will

20:25

see the veneer crack and the teeth close

20:28

in. Jurgen mumbling was your

20:30

first... But do you think Pep

20:32

would respond better to the mumbling? I think he

20:35

might think that I'm talking tactics. He'd go, yes,

20:37

yes! Jenny.

20:41

I think the location is absolutely key. If

20:43

it was a dinner party, it would definitely be

20:45

Klopp. Because I think at worst,

20:48

he would definitely clear the table and

20:51

he would load that dishwasher

20:52

with immaculate precision. But I'm thinking...

20:54

With a mike press. With a mike press. Waiting

20:57

in comfort.

20:58

Waiting in comfort until the lift gets repaired.

21:01

There's no competition, it has to be Pep. I think one

21:03

of his voluminous cardigans would

21:05

make an ideal nest for a little nap. And

21:07

then he could literally sleep with a rance about Catalan

21:10

independence. With his soothing tones

21:12

and by the time I wake up, we're

21:13

out of there. Lovely.

21:15

Yeah, pretty lovely. Jake.

21:17

Pep, I'm going to ask him about the more than 100 breaches of

21:19

the financial rules of Man City and

21:22

find out what he knows. If I'm in there long

21:24

enough, he'll tell me, will he? Are

21:27

you going to be holding him up against the ball of blimp? No,

21:29

I'm not going to man anything. Charge number 64.

21:32

Yeah. Go

21:34

on, we've got all day here, Pep. But

21:37

if it goes on some time in the air, you know, if you

21:39

start running out of air and all that, he might start panicking.

21:42

So, yeah, he might let me know. I mean, it's terrible, isn't it? Like,

21:45

you know, Everton being docked 10 points and that was

21:47

on one charge, you know, so they've

21:49

got more than 100 against them. So,

21:52

yeah, listen, I want to know this guy too. I was doing it, but

21:54

I would love to see the sort of two man

21:56

chamber play that was Jake Wood and Pep in a

21:58

lift. Mark. I'm

22:05

just looking to get out of that lift as quickly as possible.

22:07

I find the idea of a lift very anxiety

22:10

making and I think Pep is basically just too calm.

22:12

I think Pep would be saying we're in a good moment, we

22:15

do the right things. Sometimes

22:17

you're in a lift, sometimes you get out of it. That's no good to me. Clop.

22:20

Paul's right, Clop often does look like a nice guy

22:22

and it's meant to be a nice guy, but you also see flashes

22:25

of real menace in Clop's interviews sometimes. I

22:27

think Clop would turn out to have a hacksaw and just

22:29

get a sit right out of there. Or at the very

22:31

least he'd be hammering on the doors, he'd be smashing

22:33

the safety button. So Clop, just because I think he'd get

22:35

results quicker. I actually think he's climbing at

22:37

the top. I think climbing at the top. I

22:41

for one would follow him all the way. Okay,

22:46

Chancellor Jeremy Hunt gave his autumn statement

22:48

on Wednesday. So let's hear your

22:50

sporting autumn statements for sports teams

22:53

or people starting with

22:56

Jenny, please.

22:57

So in the best

23:00

spirit of BBC News, I'm going to give you a

23:03

summary of what the autumn statement means for you in

23:05

brief. Beer duty frozen, wine

23:07

duty

23:07

up 25p, international

23:10

duty still hugely unpopular with

23:12

big clubs,

23:13

national budget deficit for 23-24 is 4.5% plus the centre back, seen

23:15

as Harry Maguire is

23:19

back in the England side. Has anyone got one going spare?

23:23

Going down by 5% points in the last year, employing

23:25

national insurance contributions down two points

23:28

and after an investigation by the Office of Budget

23:30

Responsibility, Everton down 10 points.

23:33

Special interest free loans made available to small businesses,

23:36

special interest free live golf made available

23:39

on YouTube, awesome, we're not exactly

23:41

sure. VAC remains unchanged,

23:43

unfortunately so does VAR.

23:45

That was giving me flashbacks of my day job actually,

23:47

Jenny. Jake. I'm

23:49

going to reinstate the £10 Coach Trouble Scheme

23:51

for Chelsea

23:53

and in fact I'm going to reinstate it for all

23:55

of the clubs because I think the cost of

23:57

it is £250,000 a year.

23:59

per club but that's fine we could just have a whip round

24:02

starting with Jordan Henderson it's about

24:04

day's wages isn't it for him out in Saudi so

24:07

Jordan can pay for that and then we'll have a whip round get

24:09

the rest of the money

24:10

yeah they should never have scrapped it I think they've been so tight

24:12

with that I mean in the scheme of things it's peanuts

24:14

isn't it and that means so much to the to the fans

24:17

so listen I think I'll get a lot of favour

24:19

if I do that.

24:20

Yeah yeah it was going so well

24:22

until at the end you admitted you were just trying to make

24:24

yourself popular Jake it's a nice idea oh

24:26

yeah that's part of the game

24:29

isn't it I would like to make an overall statement

24:31

about cricket there is just too much cricket

24:34

happening and it is making everything or

24:36

it's devaluing the the sport Jenny

24:39

it's already been touched upon the cricket world cup went on

24:41

for more than three years there's

24:43

the t20s immediately after that I looked in my

24:45

garden the other day India playing Sri Lanka I didn't know

24:48

why there

24:51

are just we all understand why

24:53

these shorter formats exist they exist to seduce

24:55

a young pair but there's there's too many different

24:57

types of cricket and it demotivates

25:00

you from watching any of it in my opinion not

25:02

in Jenny's opinion but this is fighting talk

25:04

yeah the luxury

25:05

of waking up every morning and sticking test

25:07

match special on there's always some oh it was wonderful

25:09

but it's not just about this is becoming test match

25:12

mundane they

25:15

might rename it you never know Paul I'm

25:18

going down to just three measures I'm

25:20

going to keep them simple because I think there's

25:22

an awful lot of wooliness around some of the measures that

25:24

can get announced the first is to raise some

25:26

money much needed money for the country I

25:28

am going to tax Michael Owen and

25:30

the uses of Michael Owen that means that

25:33

any any broadcaster

25:35

any network that decides to hire Michael

25:37

Owen will have to pay a supplementary

25:40

fee oh yeah checker and

25:43

not only that not only that but there

25:45

is going to be a another bit of money

25:47

every time Michael says something incomprehensible

25:50

or stupid there will have to be an extra bit

25:53

of money paid showing.

26:00

Delighted

26:02

the opposite of that. That just cost an awful

26:04

lot of money. It was worth

26:07

it. I'm going to insist that

26:09

everybody knows and learns the name

26:11

Kelvin Kiptum, the 23 year old Kenyan

26:14

who ran a marathon two hours 35 seconds, started

26:17

out in his bare feet in his farm in the Rift

26:19

Valley, not from for the actual marathon,

26:21

that would have been very long. You could have to get there

26:23

wouldn't it? But he almost didn't go

26:26

to run the marathon in Canada because

26:28

he had a bit of a groin strain and he said,

26:31

I had a little bit of malaria. That

26:33

is how he created a mania that he

26:35

still broke it. Just a touch of malaria, wow.

26:38

And the final thing, I'm going to abolish golf.

26:41

Golf has gone, well done, I'll leave

26:44

you on that. The golf courses of

26:46

Britain are now going to be used for dog walking

26:48

and open air raves when people want it.

26:50

From the top 500 golfers in the world,

26:53

male and female are going on the bends. They are going

26:55

to be a useful national

26:57

resource. Thank you. Yeah,

26:59

I'm giving you a point even though I like golf because it is fighting so

27:01

I can it's punchy. Good stuff.

27:04

Let's have a quick look at the scores. Jenny's got 15,

27:06

Paul and Jake got 17, Mark's

27:08

got 18. That's it for the first half. Back with

27:11

more fighting talk after this.

27:14

My name's Joe Wilkinson and I'm doing a

27:16

podcast because I love football. Boy, I

27:18

love more is the idea of being friends

27:21

with a professional footballer. The footballer

27:23

I'd like to be friends with is Patrick

27:25

Bamford. Hello, Patrick. Will you be my friend? So

27:27

that's yet to be decided. Okay, not what I

27:30

was hoping. My mates of footballer is

27:32

a new BBC sounds podcast with me Patrick

27:34

Bamford and Joe Wilkinson. Some days he'll

27:36

hate it other days he won't and eventually

27:39

he will fall in love with me. Search

27:42

for my mates football on BBC

27:44

sounds.

27:59

Welcome back panel, Paul, Jenny, Jake and Mark

28:02

and welcome back anyone who's listening.

28:04

On this day in Fighting Talk History, the

28:07

25th of November 2006, an inexperienced panel of

28:10

Ian Stone, four previous shows. Nihal

28:13

Arfaniaka, one previous show, Trevor Nelson,

28:15

two and Claire Boulding, one, barely stopped

28:17

talking amongst themselves in an early Colin

28:19

Murray show. He docked all of the panelist points at the

28:21

start of the second half in an attempt to regain discipline.

28:24

Then at the finale, after woeful defending

28:26

of the indefensible by Stone and Boulding, third

28:29

place Nelson was awarded the win, exactly

28:31

like Tom Gibbs two weeks ago. There

28:34

are no original ideas on this show. Game

28:37

changer time, five points for one

28:39

of you, none for the rest and it

28:41

is back to Vegas and last

28:43

week's Grand Prix. Through the final

28:46

corner comes back to the seven. For the 18th

28:48

time in 21 races this year

28:50

he will win but dramatically

28:52

at the final corner, Charles Leclerc

28:54

beats Perez and he disrupts the

28:57

Rebel one to a sumptuous move

28:59

from Leclerc. Commentator working pretty

29:01

hard there to make it sound exciting. A class

29:03

action lawsuit has been filed against Formula One

29:05

on behalf of 35,000 fans after they

29:08

were told to leave the Las Vegas practice season

29:10

as it was getting late. Give

29:14

me a time when you should have probably

29:15

lawyered up after sports

29:18

shortchanged you. A

29:20

time when sports shortchanged you, pull

29:22

please.

29:23

I'm going to take you back Rick to the late

29:26

80s. It is a hurling

29:28

blitz competition on the

29:30

Glen Road in North Belfast.

29:33

CBS schooler hosting, my schooler

29:36

there. I was hopeless at

29:38

hurling. I was in the hurling team as

29:40

the enforcer, even

29:43

at 12. You don't seem

29:45

like an enforcer to me. I was given the, imagine

29:47

doing it with a stick. I was there to find their

29:49

best player and stop him playing wherever

29:52

that happened. And

29:53

I'd say again, I was terrible at hurling.

29:57

During one match, it was a blitz tournament.

30:00

I seem to be going for one particular player very

30:03

aggressively and out of the corner

30:05

of my eye I saw a movement

30:08

and then I heard a noise and I realised it was

30:10

one of the priests from CBS in

30:12

his long flowing cassock running

30:14

onto the pitch shouting, that

30:17

boy is an animal, get

30:19

him off the pitch, he is an animal and

30:21

he came towards me and so there was this

30:23

rather strange scene of a young

30:26

boy on a Gaelic pitch

30:28

being chased by a priest and I

30:30

ran and ran until our teacher intervened with

30:32

hindsight. I think I should have

30:34

perhaps thought there's action

30:36

here. You

30:40

can't sue a priest because you're an animal. He

30:42

chased me across the pitch. You shouldn't

30:45

have been beating his player up. Jenny.

30:47

So earlier this year my family all

30:50

travelled down to London on my birthday

30:52

weekend no less but it wasn't to see me. It's

30:54

because Bolton Wanderers had made it

30:56

to the final of the big one, yes the Papa

30:59

John's trophy. Weeks of planning,

31:01

we spent a small fortune on tickets, I bought

31:03

them all dinner, bought loads of drinks, we

31:05

were having a great time, got to the stadium waving our

31:08

flags and then it emerged that

31:10

the two teams were being led out by their

31:12

supposed biggest celebrity fans.

31:16

Plymouth had Josh Widdicom, Bolton

31:19

had Vernon

31:20

Kaye.

31:23

As

31:24

one my family all turned to me

31:26

and started laying into me because

31:29

I could have done that. Why didn't they ask you, did they

31:31

not know that you're a season ticket holder? We could have got

31:33

free hospitality, these tickets could have been free. Did

31:35

they not know that you're a bond holder? Vernon

31:38

Kaye, Vernon Kaye doesn't even have a season ticket, how come

31:40

he's got the gig? Thankfully Wanderers shortly

31:43

thereafter started hammering in the goals so

31:46

they got distracted but I am still very

31:48

much a disappointment so I

31:50

should sue for emotional distress

31:53

and loss of dignity. I'm not going to sue the

31:55

Wanderers because as I've mentioned they owe me money

31:58

but I'm going to sue the aforementioned. father

32:00

of pizza and Vernon K himself. I

32:02

know he's a national hero now but he wasn't back

32:04

in April.

32:05

So come on Vernon.

32:08

I think actually the really

32:10

cutting part of that is that the Bolton Wanderers officials

32:13

did know that you're a fan and still

32:16

overlooked you. Shocking. Mark.

32:19

Well firstly I've seen Vernon K naked but we haven't got time

32:21

for that. We'll make time. I'm

32:24

also going to tell you it's funny how these childhood things really

32:27

rankle. Like Paul I'm going back to the late 80s me

32:30

and my brother used to play tennis on a rubbish

32:32

old concrete tennis court down

32:34

the road and you just have to show up

32:37

and hope you can get on and obviously if you were playing for a

32:39

while someone would pass you aggressively and an adult

32:41

would come in the loom and look at you. One day at

32:43

the start of the summer holidays my brother and I

32:45

turned up with a little racket eager to go and

32:48

this fella's there with his two daughters and

32:50

he said I've got it booked. We said okay well when

32:52

will you be off and he said I've got it booked for the

32:54

entire summer holiday. Obviously

32:58

we were kids so we just scuttled away disappointed

33:01

but looking back there is no way on hell

33:03

that man there was no mechanism by which you could

33:05

book him for the whole of July and all the time.

33:07

So if I ever get a time machine screw

33:09

the Roman Empire and all the other stuff you can do I'm going

33:12

back to 1989 and I'm having it out with that man

33:14

and my brother and I are playing five sets that very evening.

33:16

He cost you a career in tennis didn't he? Precisely who

33:18

knows the play I could have become. Exactly. Exactly.

33:21

Jake. I'm going back to 2010 Rick

33:24

the England versus Germany quarterfinal

33:27

England trailing 2-1 after 37 minutes

33:30

Frank Lampard he spots Manuel Nuer Nuer

33:33

off his line he shoots and he scores a wonderful goal

33:35

off the underside of the crossbar but unfortunately

33:38

it was disallowed. Now that

33:39

this now in my logic that

33:41

goal being disallowed sort of led to goal line

33:43

technology didn't they because there's such an uproar afterwards

33:46

so then they brought in goal line technology

33:48

and that sort of led us to VAR so basically

33:51

the referee if the referee had let that goal in

33:53

Rick we wouldn't have VAR

33:55

so Jorge Larrinonda is

33:58

his name and

33:58

I think We should lawyer up and sort

34:01

of sue him because he's the one who's responsible for this

34:03

VAR. Plus action. Yeah. Who's

34:06

with me? Ooh, I think I've got

34:08

to go with the

34:10

priest chase. Just because

34:13

it came from most vivid image. Of

34:16

this tiny little imposter Paul. And

34:20

actually Paul just muttering

34:22

quietly to himself. It actually

34:24

didn't cross the line during Jake's answer with all

34:26

his hair in his eyes. That is fucking taut. Yeah.

34:31

Okay. Circly of Woodward

34:33

reflected on this week's 20th anniversary

34:35

of England's dramatic 2003 World

34:38

Cup win in Sydney by saying, I'm not

34:40

sure how it would have turned out if Johnny Wilkinson

34:42

hadn't kicked that drop goal. It's kind of scary.

34:45

So who else's sporting careers were changed

34:47

by a single moment

34:50

Jenny?

34:50

So one single chip changed

34:53

the trajectory of Karol Poborski's career.

34:56

The Czech team were pretty much the dark horses

34:58

of Euro 96. Poborski wasn't exactly

35:00

a household name until one Sunday

35:03

evening in June at Villa Park when he lifted

35:05

the ball over the porch. Geese keepers headed into

35:07

the goal. One chip won the game and

35:10

as importantly made him one of the hottest transfer

35:12

prospects of the summer. He sealed

35:15

the deal for Sir Alex Ferguson

35:17

who signed Poborski for Man United. One chip.

35:20

Now if only some other players had stopped at

35:22

just one chip. It would be rich

35:25

of me to fat shame anybody. I'm not a professional

35:27

athlete though. So being a fatty doesn't really affect

35:29

my performance. But if say

35:31

Neil Ruddock had been able to stop at one chip his

35:33

playing career would have gone on quite a bit longer

35:36

and much more importantly we wouldn't have to

35:38

hear so much nowadays about his

35:40

weight loss journey.

35:42

He has done well though hasn't he? Jake.

35:45

I'm going Gareth Southgate, Riggs, Euro 96

35:48

that missed penalty. I was actually there for that game.

35:50

I was sat behind the goal and as Gareth

35:53

walked from the halfway line to the penalty

35:55

spot was just his body language. Just someone behind

35:58

me said who the hell is that?

35:59

He looked like a dead man. Did

36:02

he play for us? He looked like

36:04

a dead man walking. He

36:08

just knew, it's just a horrible feeling

36:10

as he was walking up. He just looked all

36:13

wrong, his body language was all wrong. Obviously

36:15

he scuffed it, terrible. And it's kind

36:17

of defined his whole career, isn't it, to date. Who

36:20

knows what would have happened after that. Terry Venables might

36:22

have stayed on as manager. He might have won

36:25

a World Cup in 1998. We

36:28

just don't know, do we?

36:29

And actually there's a good play on with a mate

36:32

of mine, Joe Fines, called Dear England. And

36:34

it's sort of about that really. It's

36:36

sort of Gareth's journey from that moment

36:38

to kind of be in the England manager. And sort

36:40

of how he changed the culture of English football

36:42

really, based on his experience of how he

36:45

felt he was supported or not supported after that

36:47

penalty miss. And yeah,

36:49

he felt very isolated afterwards and very alone.

36:52

And I think he sort of went on to change the

36:54

culture of the English team. And I

36:56

think we've seen that to this date. So,

36:58

you know, listen.

36:59

I think what I'm taking from that is you're saying that you're friends with

37:02

Joseph Fines. Yeah, that's what we're all interested

37:04

in. Yeah, Joe's a nice guy.

37:06

I did a play with him. He called you Joseph!

37:09

I know! But go and see. Honestly, he looks

37:11

like Gareth Southgate in his play. No, too

37:13

much plugging now. He's got

37:15

a false note. Oh, God. It's

37:18

all I say. Oh, OK. You get a point for the false

37:20

note. Mark.

37:24

I keep mentally worrying that I'm

37:26

about to mention Michael Owen, because I can't afford it, especially this

37:28

time of year. Well,

37:30

it's not a coincidence we all keep going for international tournaments,

37:33

because there's nothing quite like that for the sort of death or glory

37:35

moments. For me, David Platt versus

37:37

Belgium 1990. Platt didn't

37:39

even start the tournament in the first team. He

37:42

was a substitute. He was still a sub for that Belgium game.

37:45

People don't remember this. He came on in extra time, I think. And then

37:47

last minute, the flighted free kick from

37:49

Gasco, and you can still see it when you close your eyes. Almost

37:53

overnight, Platt then comes in, starts in the quarterfinal,

37:56

starts the semi. Within a year, he's playing Serie A. I

37:58

remember watching football attack. and there

38:00

was a clip of a barry fan, they

38:03

said, who do you think the best player in the world is? And he said, David

38:06

Platt. And like three years before

38:08

that, he'd been at Crui Alexandra. So in terms of one

38:10

goal resetting your life, I

38:12

think Platt is up there. Paul.

38:15

This is a moment that didn't just change

38:18

the career for this person, but I think for

38:20

the entire world.

38:22

A hotel room, New York City, May

38:24

the 11th, 1997.

38:27

This person was thought to be,

38:29

and still thought by many, to be the greatest player

38:32

of this particular sport in

38:34

history. In that moment, Gary

38:37

Kasparov lost to

38:40

Deep Blue. And in

38:42

that moment, everything changed. He

38:44

had previously beaten Deep Blue, beaten the year before

38:46

he beat him. He

38:49

beat AI the year before, AI

38:51

galloped, and beat him the following year.

38:53

And after that, Kasparov

38:55

went on for a while, but it always overshadowed

38:58

his career, and then it has taken over

39:00

the world. That is the moment everything changed.

39:02

You don't get many chess answers on this show.

39:05

I've never seen it before. And you enjoyed

39:07

it though, didn't you? In 18 years, I've never seen

39:09

a chess answer. Totally positive. Here we go.

39:14

Scores then. This

39:17

bed will be slightly too long. Jenny

39:20

has 17, Jake has 20, Mark

39:22

has 21, and

39:25

not entirely, but at least in part, just

39:27

that chess answer. Paul's streaking

39:30

ahead on 26. And

39:32

now...

39:37

Have you thought about saying the name is slightly

39:39

slow, I reckon? Oh, that's good, isn't it? But

39:42

with your names, it's tricky. Paul.

39:45

Yeah, that's what I'm right. Okay,

39:48

the next topic is about this.

39:50

Ciroz Bolster, Maxwell, who

39:52

plays it into the leg side. He's gone out towards deep back

39:55

with square legs. Attempted diving save. It's

39:57

gonna be unsuccessful,

39:58

because they're coming back for two.

39:59

Australia have

40:02

won the 2023 World Cup. They have silenced

40:05

the crowd here in Ahmedabad.

40:07

Mark. Australia,

40:13

this is too creepy, Australia silenced 130,000

40:15

fanatical Indian

40:18

cricket fans in Islamabad to lift their sixth

40:20

Cricket World Cup on Sunday. Who

40:23

are challenging the Aussies to the title

40:25

of Sports Greatest Party Poopers?

40:28

Jake. I'm going 28th of November 2015

40:31

Tyson Fury goes to Dusseldorf

40:34

and basically gives Klitschko a boxing lesson,

40:36

doesn't he? Klitschko was unbeaten for almost 10 years,

40:39

the second longest unbeaten run

40:41

in heavyweight history. They had sparred

40:43

previously, interestingly, and Emmanuel Stewart,

40:46

Klitschko's plainer, had said that Fury would be the next

40:49

dominant heavyweight champion and

40:51

in fact back in 2010, five years before

40:54

that fight, there'd been an incident where they both sat

40:56

in a sauna and were trying to out sauna

40:59

each other. I don't know if you've ever heard that, but they

41:01

sat in there apparently for 40 minutes. You should

41:03

have televised that. Fury

41:06

sat in there for 40 minutes waiting for Klitschko

41:08

to, and eventually Klitschko got

41:11

out and Fury was there and I think that was psychologically

41:13

the beating of him. He had the beating of him. There's normally

41:15

a thing on the wall saying no more than 15 minutes. Also

41:20

we've got a follow-up to the Jake and Pep

41:23

playing a lift. Mark, 1950

41:29

the Maracona Uruguay

41:31

beating Brazil to win the World Cup in

41:33

front of about 100,000 Brazilians.

41:37

Still reported to the greatest tragedy in Brazilian sport.

41:41

I've met Brazilians who weren't even born, who

41:43

still can't even think about that

41:45

day. I also once got to meet,

41:47

he's unfortunately no longer with us, but I met the guy

41:49

Gigio who scored for Uruguay and

41:51

he said they were almost sort of, they felt bad

41:53

about having won because of how upset

41:56

everyone was. He said we went back to our dressing room and

41:58

we sent him out for tea in the same way. That's after winning the

42:00

World Cup Final. And

42:03

then of course, 2014 Brazil host it again. Everyone's

42:05

banging on about Samba football and the party

42:08

and Brazil's moment. And then Germany disemboweled

42:10

them in the semi-final. Both of them. Nothing

42:13

against Brazil. But the more commentators

42:15

go on about it, the football party has begun. The

42:17

funnier it is to see something like that. Five more down

42:19

at half time. I don't think I'll ever forget that. I remember

42:21

Alan Hansen saying, this will go down in the Annals of History.

42:24

And my brother texted me saying, I didn't expect we'd be hearing about the

42:26

Annals from Alan Hansen today. Paul.

42:30

This is something that happened just

42:32

this year and could actually happen again tonight.

42:36

Chantelle Cameron

42:37

beat Katie Taylor. She arrived

42:40

in Dublin in May to take

42:42

on the pride of Ireland. It was supposed

42:45

that Katie Taylor would walk it in

42:47

the Old Point Depot in the banks of the Liffey. All

42:50

of Ireland expected, but no. The

42:53

quiet, the quiet punch from Northampton

42:55

came in and took her out. And it's

42:57

the meet again tonight. And it could happen

43:00

all over again. It's going to be the same result, Paul.

43:03

I think she's going to stop her.

43:05

I think she'll stop Katie. Really? Well, there we

43:07

go. Paul's twitching in there.

43:10

Jenny.

43:11

Well, thinking about it, there are different

43:13

kinds of party poopers. You can be an incidental

43:15

party pooper. You can rain on the fans parade

43:17

by beating the crowd favourite.

43:19

Like when Stuart Sink beat Tom Watson at the 2009

43:21

Open. Or when Delta Work

43:23

overhauled Tiger Roll in the final race. Delta Work got

43:26

booed.

43:26

Who boos a horse? They

43:29

don't even know what it means. You

43:33

can interrupt an otherwise triumphant moment

43:35

by simply being good at your job. Like when

43:37

Eric Holley bowled out

43:38

Don Bradman for a duck in his final innings. Or

43:41

the reverse by not being good at your job, Clive

43:43

Thomas. But the most egregious

43:46

and seemingly the Aussie favourite is being the deliberate

43:49

thief of joy. Potential joy even. The true

43:51

party pooper. So the

43:53

Aussies of 1981's one day series

43:55

against New Zealand, in particular those chapel brothers.

43:58

They're thrilling into the mattress.

43:59

in prospect it came down to the last ball. New

44:02

Zealand

44:02

snatched victory if only Brian McKinney

44:05

could whack the delivery for six. It was

44:07

a big ask, a long shot. The brothers conferred

44:09

and decided to rule out the tiny possibility

44:12

of the ball being lofted over the ropes so Trevor Chapel

44:14

bowled underarm with nothing

44:16

for McKinney to get hold of.

44:17

Game over, miserable.

44:19

Also

44:21

now what I want to do is get to a field, find

44:24

a horse and pull it. Just sort

44:26

of think about that. Good fun isn't it? You

44:28

times your own for the rest of the day Richard. Right,

44:32

mild double act partner, comedian

44:35

Joe Wilkinson, true story, has a new

44:37

BBC Sounds podcast out where he sees if he can

44:39

become friends with the footballer Patrick Bamford.

44:42

So good luck with that Joe, but mainly

44:44

good luck Patrick. Which, most podcasts

44:47

I did out there. Yeah, it feels

44:49

like it's coming out of the Tom Bowler. Which

44:51

footballer would you least like to

44:54

be mates with? Paul.

44:56

Paul and.

44:57

He is. Don't

45:00

necessarily need to say anymore actually Paul. He

45:03

is everything. Therefore when you're out with

45:05

him you would be just shadowed both

45:08

physically, literally and because everyone you're so

45:10

great and you're so lovely as well and look at your hair

45:12

and aren't you the greatest footballer that the Premier League has

45:14

ever seen. I could not stand it.

45:17

Yeah, unbearable. Jenny. Roy

45:19

Keane.

45:20

Yeah, can you imagine the moaning

45:23

you'd get criticised for everything. This pub

45:25

just doesn't cut

45:25

it for me Jenny. You lasagna

45:27

is nothing to be proud of Jenny. Do

45:30

the accent Jenny. No. If

45:33

you want to get a point you could have to do the accent. You

45:37

wouldn't get away with driving me to the football in a box

45:40

all course in my day Jenny.

45:41

You need to take a long hard look at yourself.

45:43

Your own safety trip for

45:45

the Test match this year has been woefully and transparent

45:48

and I think the rest of the gang are losing faith

45:50

in you Jenny and besides. Oh right, we get the idea

45:52

Jenny. You don't get the idea. We get the idea. Yeah.

45:55

Jake, you've got your point. Jake. Yeah, Paul Pogba. I

45:58

just feel like it would be a really unreliable match. I

46:01

just thought he wouldn't

46:03

reply to his text. It'd

46:05

always be late wouldn't he? I just don't

46:07

think it would be much fun. I think

46:10

he might be a bit of fun when he did turn up, Mark. Well,

46:15

Messi, for partly similar

46:17

reasons to the Highland thing, everyone would be swarming

46:19

around him all the time, but also I don't think we'd even communicate

46:21

that well. His English is patchy, my

46:24

Spanish is not great, so he'd always know even where to go. But

46:26

has Messi ever done a 24 hour show, Mark? I mean,

46:28

come on. No, because he just doesn't want it

46:30

enough for it. And

46:33

on top of all this, Messi's even famous in places like

46:35

the States now, so you would never be able to get. He

46:38

also doesn't... Harland at least looks like he'd go out on the lash. Messi

46:40

seems like he'd be like two drinks and then it's sort of, oh,

46:42

is that the time? It's getting in the morning. OK,

46:47

we've just about got time for any other business. Jake,

46:50

anything you want to get off your chest? Damien Hurst,

46:52

he's brought out about 2,000 paintings

46:55

and basically splodges. They're

46:58

like 25 grand each. He's a hobby. Yeah, he's

47:00

a hobby, yeah. 25 grand each. You

47:02

do the maths, Rick. It's a lot of money, yeah, for... It's

47:05

probably not a lot of work, so yeah, I mean, it's a

47:07

good old scam, innit, the art trade. I

47:11

think you might have a career in art review, actually. I

47:14

mean, it's basically splodges, I don't know what to tell you. Jenny?

47:17

As reluctant as I am to drop the seabomb,

47:21

we are only a month out from Christmas. This

47:23

weekend I'm off to Pantoland.

47:26

I start rehearsals on Monday. No,

47:27

you don't. Oh, yes, I do. I'm

47:31

not engaging with it. It's a privilege to

47:33

be part of people's

47:34

safety fun, but it can

47:36

be a bit of a downer because people ask what your plans are

47:38

for Christmas and you go, well, I get four days

47:40

off next month, so I will

47:43

be sleeping through Christmas Day. So

47:45

I want to give a big shout out to anyone who's working

47:47

over Christmas, people who are responsible for

47:50

feeding, for keeping us well-watered

47:53

over Christmas, people who are entertaining us, just

47:56

especially the

47:58

bartenders. You have to cope with those parties.

47:59

part-time drink as they do not know how to operate

48:02

a bar. Give that bartender a tip

48:05

because at the end of the shift they are the ones who will

48:07

need it most. Just be nice to your Christmas

48:09

workers everyone.

48:10

Yep there we go. Paul. Faraj

48:15

in the jungle. This

48:18

guy has been paid, we're told, 1.5

48:20

million. But he's been paid that presumably

48:25

so that people will ask him difficult

48:27

questions and make some interesting TV. So

48:30

far the only people who have challenged

48:32

him and anything are a guy who welcomes folks

48:34

in for a first date and then a woman

48:38

who is great but she is a youtuber

48:40

who maybe she's known to an awful lot of people.

48:42

I'd never heard of her but at least she stood up and did it. The

48:45

rest of them, mute. You're

48:47

in, you can, you should get up every morning.

48:49

Noise them up. What do

48:51

you mean? What do you mean? Why did you say that? Why did you say

48:53

that? None of them are doing that. Wake him up. Noise

48:55

him up. Noise him up. Nigel.

48:58

Nigel. Mark. Well yeah back

49:01

to Jenny's Christmas theme. This is the

49:03

worst time of year for companies sending

49:05

you emails as if they are your friends. We haven't

49:07

seen you for a while Mark. What have we done

49:09

wrong? We miss you. I get almost

49:12

weekly email from Donnell Mill. Mark

49:14

when are you coming back? Mark we miss you. And

49:17

this will be bad enough but I swear to God I've never

49:19

once in my life been in a Donnell Mill. Somehow

49:21

they've not only got my email but convinced themselves that we're lifelong

49:24

buddies and I'm just I'm freezing them out.

49:26

Fine, spam me. I know it's the Christmas season

49:29

but let's not pretend we're mates here. Poor

49:31

old Donnell. I'm not against

49:33

going there. Donnell we're listening.

49:35

Final scores then. Jenny in 26, we're still off Jenny.

49:37

Jake 28, we're

49:43

still off Jake. Mark on 30,

49:46

Paul on 36, streets

49:48

ahead. Which means

49:51

Mark and Paul go head-to-head

49:53

in DCI that stands for defending indefensible.

49:55

The ridiculous statement you have to answer

49:58

doesn't matter how much it hurts. Say I, I

50:00

mean you. Paul, you

50:03

scored the most points, so you go first. You

50:05

have 20 seconds on. I hope Katie

50:07

Taylor loses tonight in Dublin as I can't

50:10

stand her. I think it is

50:12

about time that Carrie Taylor, once

50:14

and for all, hung up the club. She

50:16

has been trading on being Ireland's sweetheart

50:19

for far too long. Going into

50:21

the ring with the whole of the nation behind her, the

50:23

whole of the nation are no longer behind her and Carrie,

50:26

this is the time to let somebody else have

50:28

a chance. We have been, we have been saluting

50:30

you for long enough and the time has come

50:32

to throw the gloves on the left eye. Very,

50:34

very convincing indeed. I mean,

50:37

good luck here, Mark. Yeah.

50:39

Right, there is nothing I enjoy

50:41

more in sport than watching Australia

50:44

win a cricket world cup. It's

50:47

absolutely lovely to get the Aussies

50:49

some glory. They're noted for their sportsmanship,

50:52

they have

50:52

terrible weather, they are Australians

50:54

are wonderful people, it's

50:56

absolutely not annoying when they abbreviate every sodding

50:59

word because they can't be asked to say the whole of something.

51:02

They've been starved of sporting glory and

51:04

there was nothing as sweet for them to see them win their

51:06

28th cricket world cup at the expense of a country like India

51:08

who really, really wanted it. Oh,

51:11

I don't know, we've had some shocking

51:14

defending the principles on this show recently.

51:16

That's two very solid ones. I think

51:19

just because there was such passion

51:21

in Paul's eyes, I'm going

51:24

to give it to Paul. And partly because

51:26

he felt Rob last time, he probably was.

51:28

He didn't have a sit for betraying his country world. Yeah, I love

51:30

the yellow flag now. That's

51:33

it then for this week. I enjoyed it and

51:35

that is in the end half the battle, isn't it? Thank

51:37

you to Mark, Paul, Jenny and Jake.

51:40

Fighting Talk is a world's end production for BBC

51:42

Five Live. Next up, Mark Chapman has everything

51:44

you need to get you through your sporting day. It's Five Live

51:47

Sport. You're listening to the podcast

51:49

extra of Fighting Talk. Before

51:51

we do a question that we didn't have time for,

51:55

Mark, you saw Vernon

51:57

Kay naked. I

52:00

think this probably does come under

52:03

podcast only doesn't it? I

52:05

did one of these sport

52:08

relief things where I put it in inverted

52:10

comments celebrities do try

52:12

to handle sport it was rowing a celebrity boat race

52:15

yeah Vernon Kay was as you can imagine

52:17

with his reach and accomplished rower but afterwards

52:20

we were all sort of hot and sweaty in these horrible

52:23

kind of lycra things they were one-piece rowing

52:25

suits and then people sort of going

52:27

in and out of the showers Vernon is one of these

52:29

confident guys that just stripped it all off

52:31

and wandered through the changing rooms like that as

52:33

you can well imagine I blurted my eyes but I'd

52:36

already seen what I was going to say what I came

52:38

there for it's

52:40

the charity surely he's

52:43

a very nice man as well that sort of beats my Joe

52:45

Fines name drop didn't it really who? well

52:48

hang on have you seen Joe Fines naked or not? I'm

52:50

trying to think no

52:52

it was always time alright this

52:54

that we didn't ask it

52:57

was Black Friday so who

52:59

or what is the greatest bargain

53:01

in sport so not necessarily a player

53:04

but you know cheap ticket or something like that

53:06

Jenny well

53:08

it's the cost of living crisis so we've all got

53:10

to be canny consumers so I think

53:14

the wise thing to do now you need

53:16

to check before you leave the house do you eat at

53:18

the stadium or do you

53:20

eat at home you thankfully

53:22

there is an account called footy scram

53:25

and they will tell you

53:27

exactly where the bargains and what

53:29

to avoid so you you want to go to

53:31

the mighty Bolton Wanderers to the Fanzone pre-match

53:34

you can get a

53:35

Vernon K's Bolton Wanderers he

53:38

serves you naked

53:42

I hope not the chicken is for the turkey fries

53:45

you can get them for six quid and they sell out

53:47

every time from

53:49

Sushma snacks it also provides the motors that

53:53

they've been rated very highly recently but

53:55

don't get the four pound fifty cheeseburger

53:58

at Crewe Alexandra right I'm

53:59

writing all this down

53:59

It looks like it's been cooked by

54:02

putting in extra radiators.

54:03

OK.

54:04

But the thing I want

54:06

to know, and if there's anybody from Stockport County

54:09

catering listening, please write in.

54:12

I want to know if they're doing the Christmas dinner or a cup again this

54:14

year.

54:14

Mm. That sounds good. Sprout

54:16

in there. And then

54:18

they'll start swimming in gravy. Yeah,

54:20

yeah. Lovely idea. Well, they should do

54:22

Yorkshire pie burrito. Oh,

54:24

that would be good. Yorkshire pudding burrito. Yeah, those

54:26

are grampened. Yeah. Oh, they're

54:28

good.

54:29

Yeah, but the charge of fortune at this place is I

54:31

want

54:31

another price. That's true.

54:33

Paul, bargains, please. I

54:35

was just thinking about Footy Scrant, the the

54:39

account. And the problem with it is all

54:41

the really great stuff is in Mexico

54:43

or Japan. And I don't think I can think,

54:45

oh, that looks. And then you do a rough translation.

54:48

Of course, you think, oh, it's not bad. And it's

54:50

always frustrating. That's neither

54:53

here nor there. I think the big one of

54:55

the biggest bargains because of what

54:58

it led on to is Eric Cantma

55:00

a million to unite it. But

55:02

it's not just because what it meant for United.

55:04

You could make an argument that him going to unite

55:07

it really kick started the success of the Premier

55:09

League and the idea of that of

55:11

a football brand going around the world and

55:13

selling the rights and all that kind of thing. All

55:15

for one million, which seems like a very small

55:17

investment for what came after.

55:20

Yeah, yeah, I think that's that. Do I give up

55:22

points during the podcast extra? I mean,

55:24

I will. I will. Too late, but I'll give you

55:26

one anyway. Mark, I

55:29

picked up an old rugby

55:32

program recently from a box, which

55:34

must be my dad's and too

55:36

many mentions of rugby. A

55:39

ticket flutter and he went to an international

55:41

in the 70s for one pound. And

55:44

I don't understand the inflation and stuff, but I still

55:46

feel like that that must have been that represents good value.

55:48

It's decent. Yeah. An afternoon out for a

55:50

quick goodness knows what the Scram cost at that stage. But

55:53

he would have come back. It's a classic. You still have

55:55

money left over from a tenant to

55:57

buy a house on the way home. Jake.

56:03

The greatest bargain in sport rig has got to be when

56:05

my mate could get into the

56:08

old... Go find a different one. He

56:10

thought he was not a mate. Yeah, he could get into the old

56:12

Highbury without paying. And

56:15

he did this all of his life, obviously, until they

56:18

moved to the Emirates. And to this day, he's never told

56:20

anyone how he did it, because he didn't want anyone to

56:24

copy him, because he thought if he told people they would start

56:26

doing what he did. But he was there every game. He never paid for a

56:28

ticket in however long they were at Highbury. He

56:30

must have some ideas. I've no idea. I've no

56:32

idea, honestly. He's not told anyone. He

56:35

hasn't seen us as a steward or something?

56:37

I don't know what he did. I don't

56:40

know what he did. But he got his... Was he

56:42

a player? Yeah. No, he didn't play.

56:44

No. Didn't he great escape it? He

56:46

could go away confidently. If he's listening, let us know. If

56:49

I find out, I'll let you know. I mean,

56:51

best case scenario, I suppose, is he's tunneling in. I

56:54

don't know how he's done it over many years. He

56:56

hasn't told anyone. I think he'll take that

56:58

secret with him to the grave. But yeah,

57:01

to this day, it doesn't fail, but it's

57:03

been pressing me. Also, funny to think that

57:05

he's still doing it and just ends up in someone's flat.

57:08

Yeah, the gardens. That's

57:10

made you move him quite hard. Yeah.

57:14

Yeah. Okay,

57:16

let's all go and boo a horse. We'll

57:19

do. Lovely stuff. Nice one, mate.

57:22

Enjoy that. Brilliant. Yeah,

57:24

that

57:25

was good fun. Oh, don it. Crime

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I'm just getting in the mood for

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