Episode Transcript
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0:00
First Date follow Up powered
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by the Advocates Injury Attorneys online
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at Advocateslaw dot com.
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Teddy is on the phone today for a first date follow
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up and he's getting ghosted by Maya.
0:11
So in a few minutes we're gonna call her see if she told
0:14
us why she's ghosting him, and maybe get him another date.
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But first, Teddy, how long has it been since
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you heard from her?
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I'd spent about a week.
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How many times have you tried to reach out to her?
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Maybe three times? Like what's
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every couple days? Two or three days,
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just you know, saying what's up?
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How's it going.
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We were talking before h and after
0:34
we went out that it just kind of stopped.
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She didn't respond to any of those I.
0:38
Know, not not at all.
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Well, let's talk about the date and see if we can
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see went wrong? What and see what
0:44
went wrong?
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We went to a really nice place we went to I don't
0:48
know if you've ever been there, but really
0:51
cool. If they have a rooftop dining area.
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So she suggested, you know that we sit outside
0:56
because it was a really really nice day.
0:58
It was cool.
0:58
We had a really great conversation and she's
1:00
got her head on her shoulders, you.
1:02
Know, in the right way.
1:04
You know how a lot of people they
1:06
focus too much on like social media and stuff,
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you know what I mean, they saying about everything like their
1:10
job, and that's
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I'm not I'm not trying.
1:13
To meet anybody like that, you know. But
1:16
she really loves her job. She's got a really good job. She
1:18
works up and she's
1:21
got goals, which is always a good thing, you
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know what I mean. Yeahs like like
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a five year plan.
1:26
That's you know, that's that's important, and
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that's something that I was I really thought we hit it
1:31
off on on that level. And
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uh, you know, the food is great and
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the hobby option is great.
1:37
You know. So I really can't
1:39
really think off the top of my head.
1:41
Of why after such a nice date that,
1:43
you know, I just she just stopped communicating with
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me, Like I can't say that we stopped communicating.
1:48
I'm so you know, trying to reach out.
1:49
You know, but
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there's nothing on the other end. Well, was there
1:54
anything awkward that happened on the date at all that
1:56
you can think of?
1:57
I don't know if it's anything I did.
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I mean, I'm thinking maybe she didn't like the
2:01
restaurant even though it was great, you know, but
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I picked it.
2:04
That might have been something. I
2:07
will admit. The service wasn't the best.
2:09
You know, we wanted to sit outside
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like that she suggested it, but then they sat as where the suns
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like directly in our faces, you know,
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so I had to ask them to move us. And
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maybe, like because the service
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wasn't so great, I think maybe like
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the way, you know, I can be a little assertive
2:26
when I you know, when when the situation calls for it.
2:28
And maybe that's part of the reason why.
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After like the second time that I had to ask
2:34
to be moved to get somebody's attention, that
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might be, you know. Other than that, we
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talked for a while. We
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watched you know, the sun go down. It was
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really really cool, you know. And again we had a
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lot in common, and you know, we had you know, we had
2:47
we talked about goals. That was always really good.
2:49
You know.
2:50
So like after you were being assertive, she didn't seem
2:52
to change her on my quote unquote
2:54
assertive.
2:56
She didn't change her demeanor. Do you feel like she kind
2:58
of was like, what are you doing?
3:01
No, I mean, in the moment, I can't I don't
3:03
remember any disagreement
3:06
I'm going to say, no.
3:07
You sound really really nice. So I'm having a hard
3:09
time picturing that, Like what did that sound like?
3:11
Do you mind like pretending for a second?
3:14
Well, no, because it's like, you know, excuse
3:16
me.
3:16
You know, I don't know if you remember the old Bug
3:19
Bunny cartoon where he's trying to see an other animal's
3:21
attention. He's like, hey, all the animals
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are just running. He's trying to figure out what's going on, you know, And
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then finally I was like, hey, excuse me for a second,
3:28
you know. Okay, I
3:31
didn't like raise my voice or anything, but I definitely had to
3:33
like get up and go talk to somebody.
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Yeah, very very tame. That's what I was trying
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to figure out. Like, it wasn't an excusemer.
3:41
No, I'm not going to do that. That's inappropriate.
3:43
Did you guys kiss or anything?
3:45
No? No, I didn't hug.
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I don't really make any moves in that direction.
3:51
It was a nice little hug at the.
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End, Okay, not like a side
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hug.
3:56
No, it wasn't.
3:56
No, I wasn't like a sidehug, but it was very brief,
3:59
like oh, thank you very much, A little pack.
4:00
Of a cheek. That was it?
4:02
Well, plus song come back and then call her Seash
4:04
tell us why she's ghosting you, and maybe get you another
4:06
date. Okay, okay, great, all right, well
4:08
plus song come back? You get your first a follow
4:10
up next. Right in the middle of the first day follow
4:12
up. If you're just joining us, Teddy is on the phone
4:14
and he's getting ghosted by Maya, So we're about
4:17
to call her Sosha, tell us why she's ghosting
4:19
him, and maybe get him another date. But first, Teddy,
4:21
why don't you refresh everybody's memory on your
4:23
date with Maya?
4:24
No, we met online, We talked for
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a while.
4:27
We went on a really nice date
4:30
at dinner and
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talk for a while, and I
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thought.
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Everything was going great.
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And I haven't been able to get a touch
4:38
here since you ready for us to call her?
4:41
Please?
4:41
Yeah, okay, here we go, I
4:55
may I speak to Maya. Please. This is
4:58
che Hey Maya.
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How are you?
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My name is Jewbell and this is a radio
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show. It's called the Jebel Show. Hi, Maya, the whole
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show's here. My name is Nina Hi, and I'm Victoria.
5:06
Hi cool.
5:09
How are you?
5:10
I'm good?
5:10
How are you? I'm wonderful. Thank you for asking.
5:13
Well, we're calling you today because we do a segment on
5:15
the show. It's called the first Date follow Up. What that
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is is if you go out on a date with somebody and
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then you ghost them, that person can email us to
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call you and ask why you're ghosting them.
5:25
Okay, that makes me nervous.
5:28
Are you ghosting somebody?
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I guess like kin and I
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feel like I remember, this is maybe about
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a guess. Teddy,
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you're correct.
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Congratulations, you got it right. You don't get any
5:44
price for that, but yes, it's Teddy. Would
5:46
you mind telling us why you're ghosting him?
5:49
Uh? Well, so we So
5:52
I met him online and I had
5:54
when I was when I was online.
5:55
And I was like going to the app or whatever. A
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friend of mine was with me,
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a girlfriend, and she noticed him
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actually, and she.
6:04
Was like, oh, I know exactly who
6:06
that is, and she was telling me all about him.
6:08
She like mentioned that he was kind
6:10
of a tool and that like, I
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don't know, like dating him is kind of just
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so bad.
6:16
Dating him is kind of like getting
6:18
a like a loan at a bank.
6:21
And so for some reason that
6:24
really meant that I was kind of intrigued
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and I was like, I want to see if this guy is really
6:28
like that.
6:29
Maybe he's totally not and it'll
6:31
be great. So I ended up we.
6:33
Ended up going on the date, and
6:36
I just like the whole time he was complaining about
6:38
things and like making kind of like a fuss
6:41
about things, Like we were sitting outside and
6:43
the sun was like on our table
6:45
and he like made us move,
6:47
and I just I didn't really mindn't really like
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totally care. And it was like super
6:51
busy in our restaurant too, because like this was kind
6:54
of like uncomfortable. And
6:57
then when we started talking, he only
7:00
asked me about my career and like how
7:02
my lifestyle is and stuff like that, and I just
7:04
felt like I was like, don't you actually
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want to get to know me? Like it kind of felt like he had
7:08
already like made up his mind, like he's like I could date
7:10
her and let
7:12
me just see how it fits into my life that like what's
7:15
exactly she Like. I just felt like I had like
7:17
no say in it, And I was like, Okay, this was kind
7:19
of strange.
7:20
Don't we want somebody that wants to date
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us?
7:26
You know?
7:26
Of course, of course, I think it was just
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that he didn't really ask me about any of my
7:30
hobbies. He didn't ask me about like anything
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that I like. He was just like, what's your
7:34
job? Like do you make
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enough money to like support yourself?
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Like what what do you do?
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Like?
7:41
You know what I mean? Like it was very like I
7:43
just feel like I was in a job interview or something.
7:45
Those are kind of weird questions, especially on a first
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date.
7:48
There's ways to get those answers without asking that
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question, by the way,
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you'd like to learn, But.
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Well, guess what maya what?
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It's not easy easy thing because Teddy's actually
8:01
on the phone and has been listening this whole time,
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wants to talk to about.
8:08
I don't really know how much I want to
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have this conversation.
8:11
Now. That's that's super
8:13
messed up.
8:13
You know that, you know, you and your friends are making fun
8:15
of me, and that's that's really
8:17
what's wrong with these apps. Instead of trying to get
8:20
to know someone or or share a you
8:22
know, like anything proper,
8:25
it's just, oh, let me go see what this person is
8:27
like really about with a you know, with
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a with an agenda that you don't even like articulate.
8:31
You know, there wasn't like a vet
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or anything. I was just genuinely curious.
8:36
You're genuinely curious, and you could have just asked
8:38
that before we went out, all
8:40
of the questions that saying that we were talking
8:42
about.
8:43
You could have asked me about me before we went
8:45
out.
8:45
You could have actually just said, Hey, I spoke to
8:47
my friend, do you know whatever whoever your
8:49
friend was, and we you know, we could have had this conversation
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and just avoided all that whole thing.
8:53
It's just a little on the ridiculous side,
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you know, And that's that's a problem.
8:59
Anything that you would have acted probably
9:01
like like a different way, and then I would have not
9:03
actually known who the real you is.
9:05
Like I just think that that's a silly thing.
9:07
I just I went on the date, I like tried
9:09
to get to know you a little bit, and you
9:11
did not care about anything I had to say. You
9:13
just cared about like the way I like was
9:16
in my life, like how I.
9:17
Fit into your life. And I just think that that's
9:19
a silly reason.
9:21
I don't know about other people online.
9:22
I'm definitely me twenty four hours
9:25
a day, seven days a week. So if
9:27
you would have asked me, we could have you know, we could have
9:29
avoided that. All you had to do was ask me about my experience
9:32
with your friend. And if I could have remembered your
9:34
friend, I would have told you exactly what you know, what I
9:36
felt. But when I meet with somebody, when I meet
9:39
anyone, you know, I'm very straightforward
9:41
about you know, what's important
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to me. And I think that we know,
9:45
what we talked about was really cool, and I thought we had actually,
9:47
you know, thought we had a cool vibe.
9:49
Now I don't know how differ it was. You know how much
9:51
that was you you you.
9:52
Know, I mean it was all me.
9:54
I just I just expected.
9:58
I mean I could have actually been a little bit more and
10:00
stuff. But you didn't ask me anything about me as
10:02
a person, So I
10:04
you got what she asked for. I mean you asked
10:07
me. It felt like I was in a job interview, Like I just
10:09
don't get it.
10:11
Well when you when you say job interview, if you're gonna,
10:13
you know, meet someone and
10:15
you want to know if you're compatible, you would
10:17
ask questions. And
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for me, I'm I'm a person who does a lot of I'm
10:22
very serious about.
10:23
Work and goals and meeting
10:25
my goals.
10:26
So I just wanted to make sure that I was, you know, on
10:28
the same page as somebody who had, you know, goals.
10:30
I mean, do you even have any type of goals? Or
10:32
was that all just stuff that you were saying?
10:35
Of course I have, sous. It's like a silly,
10:37
silly thing to say, you know.
10:38
I just I just expected
10:40
you to give a little bit more of a crap
10:42
about like who I am as a person, and all
10:45
those other things that you're asking of me would have
10:47
came naturally, they would have come out. You
10:49
could have like just been a little bit more like,
10:51
I don't know, like swab about it or something.
10:54
Because it did not go well, Well,
10:56
tell me one thing that I said about myself
10:58
on the day. Tell me because if if it was good,
11:01
then you should know this, right.
11:03
Yeah, but that's not the point.
11:07
All right now.
11:09
You know, Hey, Maya,
11:11
would you like another date with Teddy?
11:13
We'll pay for it.
11:14
No, thank you, I'm sorry.
11:17
I don't want to go out with you again. I get I get it.
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You know, they just just have fun on your
11:21
apps.
11:21
Maybe you can meet somebody that you're not going
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to be playing games with from the beginning.
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Okay, Teddy, well, you have fun playing games with
11:28
yourself.
11:32
Ju Will's first day follow up
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