0:01

Call from mom, answer it.

0:05

Call silence. Instacart

0:07

notes nothing gets between you and the game.

0:10

That's why they make ordering from your couch

0:12

easy. Stock up

0:14

today and get all your groceries for the

0:16

week delivered in as fast as 30 minutes

0:18

without missing a minute of the game. You

0:21

have 47 new voicemails. Download

0:25

the app to get free delivery on your first

0:27

three orders while supplies last minimum 10 dollars per

0:29

order. Additional term supply. I'm so

0:31

excited to see you tonight.

0:36

First date baby. First

0:40

date. I

0:43

can't wait. First

0:46

date. Hello

0:49

and welcome to another episode of

0:51

First Date with me as your

0:53

host Lauren Compton. My guest today

0:55

is a dating coach and

0:57

she's also the founder of Dating by Blaine.

1:00

You may have seen her on the New York

1:02

Times, in the Wall Street Journal, CNN or from

1:04

her super massive social following. Give

1:07

it up for Blaine Anderson. Thank

1:11

you for coming on my show. Thank you for

1:13

having me. I'm so excited to be here

1:15

on a date with you. I'm glad you're

1:17

in Austin. I was like oh my goodness

1:19

this is perfect. Meant to be.

1:21

So I've got this menu of questions. I've

1:24

got some appetizer questions. Main course. Maybe

1:27

a little tasting menu and then we'll end with

1:29

a dessert question. Sounds great. Do

1:31

we need a safe word? I

1:33

trust you. I don't think we need one. You should

1:36

never trust me. I will go

1:38

hard. We'll get started

1:40

in the appetizer

1:42

section here. How

1:44

did you get into giving relationship advice?

1:46

Good question. I've always loved

1:49

love. Even thinking back

1:51

to being in elementary school, I wanted the

1:53

tea on the playground. Who likes who? Who's

1:56

going to ask who out? I was

1:58

very involved. And then

2:00

didn't really see that being a career, you

2:03

know, yeah, and I worked in the travel

2:05

industry after college I lived in New York

2:07

City lived in San Francisco

2:09

worked in travel and When

2:11

the pandemic hit I was basically unemployed and

2:14

I had always loved like I said giving

2:16

relationship advice I'd helped so many of my

2:18

guy friends with their dating app profiles because

2:20

I think you're an awesome guy Why are

2:22

you not meeting awesome girls and I look

2:24

at their dating app profile and think okay?

2:26

Well, here's this is a problem It's

2:29

not representative of who you are You're not good

2:31

at taking pictures or at least selecting photos So

2:33

I'd redo them and then they'd get more matches

2:35

and then they'd put me in touch with their

2:37

friends or their calling Wow, so it's kind

2:39

of just like sort of like a domino effect Yeah,

2:41

and it also it had already kind of like happened in

2:43

the just organically So then

2:45

when I found myself unemployed, I thought

2:48

okay Could I do this at for

2:50

a larger audience at scale and develop

2:52

a course basically putting together all the

2:54

advice I already give and Give

2:57

it to more men. Yeah, that's how it got

2:59

started in 2020. Oh, wow.

3:01

Yeah, it's pandemic, baby When

3:07

you give relationship advice do you feel like you've

3:09

learned a lot from your own mistakes Yeah,

3:12

so I give more dating advice like

3:14

getting in relationships then actually like oh,

3:16

here's how to be in a relationship

3:18

Although I guess like sometimes it does

3:20

divulge into that Definitely from

3:22

my own experiences in addition to

3:25

just like research psychology Reading

3:27

talking to people at this point helping thousands

3:30

of guys, but certainly my own experiences as

3:32

well I've lived on six continents. So I've

3:34

had a lot of it different dating experience

3:37

Wow And you're married

3:39

to I married now. Yeah, how long have you

3:41

been married? I am married in 2022 and how

3:43

did your husband pick you up? I

3:46

have the gym. Oh, that's a

3:48

good spot. I boo spot I really can't meet

3:50

someone at the gym, but I'm proof that it

3:52

can happen. Yeah. Yeah Does

3:55

your dating advice ever change? Definitely.

3:58

I have I've seen

4:00

it even looking back, you know, 2020 doesn't

4:02

sound like that long ago, but things

4:04

have developed and changed since then. Also,

4:06

I started giving advice during the pandemic,

4:09

so it was like all online. Right.

4:11

And it was very, I was like, okay, well, like stay six feet

4:13

away and shout from across the park.

4:16

And now it's much more like, are you

4:18

vaccinated? No,

4:21

we don't need to talk

4:23

about COVID anymore. No need to bring it up.

4:26

And I think a lot more people now have swung

4:29

back the other way where they really want to meet

4:31

people in person, both men

4:33

and women. So a lot of my advice,

4:35

I talk about online dating and I'm an

4:37

advocate for having a great online dating profile,

4:39

but a lot of the advice I give

4:42

to my clients is about how to meet

4:44

women and better optimize for in-person relationships. What

4:48

would you consider bad advice when

4:50

it comes to dating? I

4:53

mean, opposites attract, I think is pretty

4:55

bad advice. No, they don't. Birds

4:58

of a feather flock together is way

5:00

more true when it comes to dating. Yeah.

5:03

So I've seen guys and it's like they

5:06

want to date like this influencer type, like

5:08

Instagram fitness model. And I'm like, you're

5:10

not that. So that's not like what's going

5:12

to work for you. But

5:14

it just doesn't make sense. Like she's going to be

5:17

more likely to date someone who's also fit and also

5:19

into being active and like looks good naked.

5:21

And you don't have to look good naked to

5:23

date someone who looks good naked. We're like, it's

5:25

going to help. Do you think

5:27

that being funny is important in getting

5:29

a girl? Yes, you

5:32

can make up for so much if

5:34

you are funny. What

5:36

if you're inherently not funny? Like funny. That's what

5:38

most people aren't born funny. It's a learnable skill.

5:40

Just like dating is a learnable skill. I tell

5:43

guys all the time and it's not like you

5:45

need to be a comedian. You don't need to

5:47

be like cracking jokes all the time,

5:49

but a sense of humor and the ability to make a

5:51

woman smile. So important. I

5:54

tell you guys all the time, take stand

5:56

up comedy lessons like our class.

5:59

Take an improv class. Take a public speaking

6:01

class if that is something that that sounds

6:03

scary and challenging to you like you should

6:05

be doing it Yeah Do

6:07

you find that it's that part of the problem

6:09

is the fact that if it's not if it's

6:12

not an Accessible like a super easy thing to

6:14

learn that people are like oh then I don't

6:16

want to do it Yeah, of course. We're all

6:18

want to do things. We're already good at like

6:20

that's like yeah, and it's fun to do things

6:22

You're good at it's way more challenging to do

6:24

things that you're not good at or have never done

6:26

before How what kind

6:28

of temperature do you like your room to be? Oh

6:36

70 when you go to sleep. Yes, that's the

6:38

like max I can have in

6:40

the daytime Yeah, like night where you went like

6:42

50 night needs to be like 65 Okay,

6:45

but we have a bed cuz my husband is the same

6:47

way. He wants it really cold I want it like I

6:50

just am okay with a sheet. I don't want to

6:52

be cold I don't want to be hot but we

6:54

have a bed and we can each control our own

6:56

side and he has his at like A negative eight

6:58

cooling and I might like a plus two Which

7:01

is nice. I like roll over to his side to get a little

7:03

cool and then like roll back over to mine wonderful

7:07

I'm just getting the temperature He's

7:10

like don't cuddle me. It's too hot. How

7:12

about some main course questions? What

7:14

do you think is the biggest problem

7:17

in your relationship? Oh my

7:20

husband's chewing of gum Really

7:22

does he like smack like yeah, you're it.

7:24

Yeah, and he can't do it with his

7:27

mouth closed. It appears not You

7:29

know, I've recently so I've been with my

7:31

boyfriend for about a year and a half

7:33

and I don't

7:35

know how something new has come up.

7:38

That's like very annoying. Yeah, but he

7:40

will yawn With

7:42

the sound effect of yawning like

7:44

he'll go Oh And

7:49

I'm like you don't need

7:51

to verbalize Yawn

7:56

movie on yeah, so that's been

7:58

like a brand new I think

8:00

the gum is new too. It's like developed

8:02

because it wouldn't have gotten married otherwise Like

8:05

this wasn't going on in the beginning You're

8:08

like, uh, you never discovered Wrigley's

8:10

before. Yeah, who introduced this to

8:12

you? Yeah, it's a problem Maybe

8:15

he's trying to get off nicotine Let's

8:19

see here Why

8:21

do people have such a hard time letting

8:23

go after a breakup? It's

8:26

kind of you know what we just said

8:28

before it's hard to go into something new

8:30

We like what's familiar even if a relationship

8:33

isn't the best for us

8:35

or it's toxic It is familiar and you

8:37

might even be good at having that toxic

8:39

relationship Yeah, and so it's hard to turn

8:41

away from it the uncertainty dating I don't

8:44

know dating isn't fun if you don't know how

8:46

to do it either if like you're struggling with

8:49

it So to go back to that if you

8:51

don't know what you're doing, it's unappealing. Yeah What

8:54

do you think that and it's important for

8:56

the guy to Approach a

8:58

girl in a scenario where he wants to

9:00

meet her or do you think that women

9:02

need to also be aggressive and approach men?

9:04

Yeah, I mean, I think women absolutely should

9:06

approach if they see somebody they're interested in

9:08

But I'm not out here being like women

9:10

must approach a guy I ultimately do think

9:12

it is that guy's responsibility and I get

9:14

so much crap for that on my Instagram

9:16

Like girl women should do it too. And

9:18

it's like that's not in your control What

9:21

you can control is whether or not you

9:23

approach how you approach how you carry yourself

9:25

what you say So let's take control of

9:27

the things that are controllable and act

9:29

on it. Yeah, so Evolutionarily

9:32

men approach look at all animal species.

9:34

It's not the woman going after the

9:36

man and most mammals Don't

9:39

quote me here But

9:44

no that is absolutely true it is then

9:46

like to hunt yeah Then what they are

9:48

going after the women the women, you know

9:50

might show themselves as available like give the

9:53

look But then it's ultimately the man's responsibility

9:55

to do the approaching Yeah, and who do

9:57

you think you know, I feel like this

10:00

is like a little controversial, but it's like who

10:02

should initiate sex? Like, you know, I like

10:05

a guy to initiate sex, but yeah, I feel

10:07

like men are kind of scared Yeah,

10:10

men are scared of like initiating physicality I

10:12

mean even stepping back from sex men are

10:14

scared to approach for even like the same

10:16

reasons of being Perceived as creepy or like

10:18

the woman doesn't want it So

10:20

I don't know what I don't think there's

10:23

like a right or wrong who initiates sex

10:25

But I think a lot of times like

10:27

just like with approaching women do want to

10:29

be pursued They want the man to make

10:31

the first move So it's just about going

10:33

slow and looking for the signs and not

10:36

just like pushing full steam ahead without like

10:38

Understanding if she's receptive whether it's asking

10:40

her out or initiating sex. What

10:43

do you think is like a perfect date night? Oh

10:45

at what stage in the relationship? Let's

10:49

say that you you both like each other and

10:52

you're not like exclusive yet

10:54

Okay, but you're on the

10:56

way like yeah good date night I love

10:58

a home date so invite her over or

11:00

I guess it could be him too I

11:02

talked to men so I see everything like

11:05

through a man's eyes of dating but invite

11:07

him over Cook dinner together

11:09

have like a little appetizer board

11:11

out, but then do something that

11:13

involves Doing something new together.

11:15

So like an activity like a recipe. Yeah

11:18

where you can like tease each other have

11:20

some fun There's like opportunities to touch and

11:22

flirt and then enjoy this thing you made

11:24

together Yeah, I love that you

11:26

guys make a cocktail open a bottle of wine

11:29

have music candles you can really set the mood

11:31

It's easier to talk. You don't have like

11:33

a server interrupting you I think it's really nice

11:35

way to like take it to the next level.

11:37

How far into a relationship do you think? New

11:41

couples should have sex. Oh,

11:43

I think that's so personal to the relationship

11:46

Like there are happily married couples who had

11:48

sex on a first date and then there

11:50

are happily married couples Like waited until marriage.

11:52

Yeah dependent on the two people and what

11:54

they're comfortable with. Yeah I

11:57

don't think there's like a right or wrong answer. It's like

11:59

when you when both parties are like ready to go

12:01

for it. Very PC. So

12:04

what's your love language? Oh,

12:06

my love language is physical touch and

12:09

words of affirmation. Physical

12:11

touch. Yeah. And words

12:13

of affirmation. Yeah, it's like tell me

12:15

I'm pretty. Tell me I'm pretty and

12:17

fuck me. Yes. I feel that.

12:20

I feel like I'm a time spent. Like

12:24

I'm so clingy. Mm-hmm. Are

12:26

you anxious attached? I

12:30

probably. Like I

12:32

just want my person to be there all

12:34

the time. Yeah. Yeah. And

12:36

I think that's why I've always dated business owners. Mm.

12:40

Because they don't have to go to the job.

12:42

They're all gonna work on their own. I know. But

12:44

I'd rather you be on your phone 100% of the

12:46

time. But with you? Be

12:48

with me. Okay. Like I

12:51

need your physical body like in the

12:53

room and you can watch TV and

12:55

I'll cook but it's like having an

12:57

entity in the room. I

12:59

like all the love languages though. Like I like being

13:01

around my person too. Like I like gifts. Like I'm

13:03

not gonna say no to a gift. I love gifts.

13:05

So I'm gonna have to pick. I want them all.

13:08

This is an ongoing thing on this show. I'm

13:10

big on taking gifts. I also like giving

13:12

gifts. I think I'm the best gift giver.

13:14

Ooh. Very good at giving gifts. I

13:17

won't even get into some of my weird

13:19

fucked up stories about how I give way

13:21

too much and then like

13:23

receive very little. Which is so weird

13:25

sometimes you know. I feel like as

13:28

an only child I. I'm an only child

13:30

too. Really? Yeah. I

13:32

would always wanna share. Yes. You get

13:34

a bad rap that you're a bad share. That

13:36

you're like so funny. I made the opposite. Same.

13:39

I would, if someone would come over to my house and

13:41

they were like, oh I really like this. I'd be like,

13:44

you can have it. You can

13:46

have it and we can be friends and if you're like giving

13:48

me my other stuff you can have all my other stuff too.

13:51

Cause I don't use any of that stuff. So

13:53

why don't you just never leave. And stay here

13:55

with me. And you can have all

13:57

my stuff. So that was. That's

14:00

only one step further than even just being

14:02

like a good gift giver. Literally

14:05

just like a thrift store. I have an open

14:07

thrift store. You can come, you don't have to

14:09

purchase anything. You can just help yourself. Literally

14:12

take whatever you want. I'm a charity, a

14:14

walking, talking charity. Um,

14:16

do you ever, do you ever feel

14:18

misunderstood by women? I

14:21

actually feel like most of the time women

14:23

see my advice and they're like, thank you

14:25

for telling the men. Like I'm, and people

14:28

ask me, why are you giving advice to

14:30

men, not women? I'm like, because I'm helping

14:32

the women have more viable partners. Like

14:34

these men are already out there. So we just need

14:36

to like shine, you know, shine them up a little

14:39

and get the edges a little better. Get them detailed.

14:41

Yeah, give a, give a detailed job and then they'll

14:43

be good to go. It's not like they're, I

14:46

love my clients. It's not a product problem.

14:48

It is a marketing problem. It is how they market

14:50

themselves. That is the problem and that I can teach

14:52

you how to market yourself and then you can have

14:54

an awesome girlfriend. Did you

14:57

know that nearly 75% of people have

14:59

subscriptions that they forgot about before

15:01

I started using rocket money? I thought

15:03

I had about four subscriptions. I

15:06

could not believe it when they showed

15:08

me I was paying for six subscriptions

15:10

each month between streaming

15:12

services, fitness apps and delivery

15:14

services. It's never ending. So

15:17

I guess it makes sense. But

15:19

thanks to rocket money and no longer wasting

15:21

my money on the ones I forgot about.

15:24

Rocket money is a personal finance app

15:26

that finds and cancels all of your

15:28

unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending and

15:30

helps you lower your bills so

15:32

that you can grow your savings.

15:35

Rocket money will even try to negotiate

15:37

lower bills for you by

15:39

up to 20%. All you have

15:41

to do is submit a picture of your bill

15:44

and rocket money takes care of the rest. They'll

15:46

deal with customer service for you. Rocket

15:49

money has over 5 million users and has

15:51

saved a total of $500 million in canceled

15:55

subscriptions, saving members up to $740 a year

15:57

when using all the apps. feature.

16:01

Stop wasting money on things you don't use. Cancel

16:04

your unwanted subscriptions by

16:06

going to rocketmoney.com/date. That's

16:09

rocketmoney.com/date.

16:13

rocketmoney.com slash

16:15

date. This episode

16:17

is brought to you by Bimble. So you

16:20

want to find someone you're compatible with,

16:22

specifically someone who's ready for a serious

16:24

connection, totally open to having kids in

16:26

the future, is a tall rock climbing

16:29

Libra, and loves rom-coms with bacon pizzas

16:31

on Tuesdays just as much as you

16:33

do. Bimble knows that you know exactly

16:35

what's right for you. So whatever

16:38

it is you're looking for, Bimble's features

16:40

can help you find it. Date now

16:42

on Bimble. What

16:45

is the number one thing you find yourself constantly

16:47

helping with the most? Oh that's a

16:49

good question. Let's see, there's so many. It

16:53

sounds like profiles are a big deal. They

16:55

are, but I mean that is

16:57

just something that is wrong every single time.

17:00

But I don't like to spend so much

17:02

effort there because I think it's really easy

17:04

for guys to become fixated on online dating.

17:06

And even if you can have

17:08

a great profile and get women online, you still

17:10

need to be able to flirt and create chemistry

17:12

and have good conversations. So the online profile can

17:14

only get you so far. I feel

17:17

like what I have to tell guys over and over is awesome

17:19

women want to meet awesome single guys. You're

17:21

doing yourself and her a disservice by being

17:24

too scared to approach, by not making your

17:26

move. It doesn't mean every girl is going

17:28

to be interested in you. Most won't. But

17:30

it's a numbers game. You have to put

17:32

yourself out there. It sounds

17:35

scary. I'm glad I'm not a guy. I'd way

17:38

rather just get approached. Yeah, yeah. No, it's

17:40

really hard. Like I absolutely empathize. Like you

17:42

have to put yourself out there. You are

17:45

inevitably going to get rejected. That is

17:47

part of the process. Oh God, could

17:49

you imagine just being born and they're

17:51

like, listen honey, you're gonna live a

17:53

long life of rejection. So just keep

17:55

sticking your dick out there. Eventually someone

17:57

will want it. Oh

18:00

my god, I never even thought about a

18:02

guy like that before I automatically Respect

18:06

that's why when I see guys approaching or like if

18:08

I get approached or a girlfriend gets approached even if

18:10

she's not single I'm like good work. Keep that up

18:14

You need to give them positive reinforcement. Don't

18:16

be a bitch if a guy approaches you

18:18

be nice card How do you feel about

18:20

like how do you tell a guy to

18:22

be a bad boy in the sense where

18:24

it can be attractive? But also

18:26

be a nice guy. It's so true. I get

18:28

that I hear that all the time It's like

18:30

girls don't like guys nice guys and it's like

18:32

it's not that women don't like nice guys but

18:35

if you're bending over backwards for a stranger and like Screaming

18:38

to like help someone who like you don't even

18:40

know or like a piece somebody

18:43

else That is unattractive like taking

18:45

it back to caveman days Did the woman want

18:47

the caveman who's like going out and getting shit

18:49

done and like providing for his family or the

18:51

caveman? He's like, oh, what do you need? What

18:54

do you mean? Like how can I make you

18:56

happy like no She wants to like the badass

18:58

he's like going out and like getting shit done

19:00

And I think that absolutely still plays into today

19:03

why guys like women like bad guys It's like

19:05

no, but there are traits that like

19:07

bad boys have that are attractive.

19:09

They put themselves first They aren't scared

19:12

to ask for what they want. Those

19:14

things are hot. Yeah, I

19:16

agree Do you how do you think about tattoos? Do

19:18

you have any tattoos? I have a few tattoos I got

19:21

some on my wrist. I want on my back. I

19:23

want on my foot And I love

19:25

a guy with tattoos. My husband doesn't have any tattoos

19:27

Do you think it's a red flag if someone doesn't

19:29

have any tattoo now, it's like, okay. Yeah,

19:31

I do tattoos I have one tattoo. Okay. I have

19:34

a kiss on my ass. Really? Yeah, is

19:36

it someone's real lip? It's my lips I

19:39

wanted my mom My

19:41

mom would kiss me on the cheek. Yeah, and she

19:43

and I was home schooled I'm I would uh, I

19:46

was training as an elite gymnast So

19:48

I would have to wake up and go to school like at

19:50

5 30 in the morning and She

19:53

would kiss me on the cheek with red lipstick and

19:55

I never looked in a mirror So I would

19:57

always have this kiss on a cheek on my cheek And

20:00

so as I got, when I'm like on my 18th birthday, I

20:02

was like, I want to get a tattoo of

20:04

like a kiss on my cheek. So I told my mom about it and

20:06

she was like, oh, that's so cute. But where are you going to get

20:08

it? And I was like, oh my ass. And she was like, yeah, I'm

20:11

definitely not kissing a piece of paper with my lipstick

20:13

for you to get a tattoo of my lips on your ass. And

20:15

I was like, fine, I'll do it. I'll

20:17

do it myself. So I kissed a piece of

20:19

paper and then pulled my pants down and

20:21

the guy proceeded to give me a tattoo. And he was

20:23

like, so are you porn stars? And I

20:25

was like, no, I'm not. And he

20:27

was like, a stripper. And I was like,

20:29

no, dude, just a normal person. Getting a

20:31

lips on my ass. Getting a lips on

20:33

my ass. Judge me. They could think, why

20:36

would you assume that? I

20:40

don't know. It was probably the boobs. He was like,

20:42

oh, I'm looking at your ass right now. I

20:45

guess it's a compliment. I have a red flag. You

20:47

got a nice ass and you can be a porn

20:49

star stripper. Yeah, there's always a positive state on that

20:51

one. Do

20:55

you think that it's creepy if a single guy has a

20:57

pet of the cat? A

20:59

cat as a pet? I picked

21:01

up where you were putting down. I

21:04

love cats. It's not even just like, just guys rubbing off on

21:06

me. I love cats.

21:09

So I don't think it's creepy. What's your favorite

21:11

animal? I'm

21:14

like a pet freak

21:16

in general. Like cats, dogs, bunnies, goats, like

21:18

bring it on. My husband jokes that I'm

21:20

like just on the verge of like being

21:22

able to keep it together in public. But

21:25

like, heater on the edge of being a total

21:27

freak about animals. I don't

21:30

even know if I have a favorite. I just love them all

21:32

so much. What do you think of a situation ship? There's

21:35

a time and place, you know, sometimes you

21:37

need that. It's not the person for you

21:39

to be in a relationship with, but like

21:41

for there are providing some value in your

21:44

life. The problem is when you people want

21:46

the situation ship to be more. And so

21:48

they're willing to take the situation ship. They

21:50

really want the relationship, but you know, like

21:53

one person wants it, one person doesn't. That's

21:55

when it's problematic because if you're wishfully hoping,

21:57

you're gonna change the person's mind. like

22:00

thirsty and unattractive. Yeah. What

22:03

do you think about love

22:05

bombing? No,

22:07

not good. And you have to watch out for it,

22:09

because I think it is a sign. I

22:12

don't want to say it's a sign

22:14

that anything that involves a bomb is

22:16

probably not what you want in your

22:18

relationship. Unless it's a bath bomb. Yeah.

22:21

And even then, you think you have

22:23

a bad pH problem. Sure, you

22:25

end up with a yeast infection. No one wants that.

22:28

But I think it's

22:31

a red flag, honestly. How

22:33

do you know if someone has loved bombing you?

22:35

I think that for me, when I think of

22:37

love bombing, it's when their amount

22:40

of input into the relationship is

22:42

disproportionate to what's appropriate at that point in time.

22:44

So you've been on two dates with this person,

22:46

and they're like, I'm so obsessed with you. Like

22:48

you, I just want to hang out with you

22:50

all the time. Like you said that. That's like

22:52

too much. Like you've only been on two days.

22:55

You need to back off. Oh, yeah, I don't love

22:57

bomb. I'm just real. You

22:59

can't leave. You might say. Like

23:02

I will follow you to the bathroom. I

23:07

feel like I actually, once you're in a

23:09

relationship, you're talking and you're one of you's in

23:11

the bathroom, you're like, OK, this is a good one. It's

23:13

shocking that I've kept a man

23:15

around. It's shocking. Yeah,

23:18

I feel like love bombing, I feel

23:22

like I've always been very bad at reading

23:24

love bombing signs because if someone love bombs

23:26

you, you are

23:28

kind of flattered, right,

23:31

if you really like the person's back. And

23:34

then it's like they change at

23:37

a certain point. And is that because you think that

23:40

they feel like they've got you and they don't

23:42

need to do that anymore? Yeah, I don't know.

23:44

I feel like with love bombing, sometimes it's that

23:47

the person is

23:49

like they're giving so much

23:51

so early. Yeah, and then when they,

23:54

it's like they like the fact that they don't actually

23:56

know you that much. And that's what's leading them to

23:58

love bombing. And

24:00

then it becomes less of a like they're

24:02

less infatuated because it's like real and that's

24:04

when you feel kind of tricked Yeah And

24:06

you're like what happened to this person that

24:08

was like and that's why I feel like

24:11

love bombing is like bad because if this

24:13

Person doesn't know you and they're showering you

24:15

with all this attention and love then it's

24:17

like How is that going to

24:19

translate into an actual relationship? Yeah,

24:21

see that's you can guarantee I can guarantee you

24:23

I will follow you into a restroom Years

24:26

in yeah Love a

24:28

love Relationship

24:34

You love hard, I think that's

24:36

different than love bombing, you know,

24:38

yeah, what's your biggest turn off

24:41

in the bedroom? Oh Um

24:46

Biggest turn off in the bed when a

24:48

guy says another girl's name. I mean that

24:50

is definitely up there I don't think that's

24:52

ever happened to me. I Don't

24:56

think that has that happened to you. No, but my boyfriend

24:58

was telling me about this position called the bull What is

25:00

that? It's where it's doggy style

25:02

and he's behind you and he grabs you

25:04

as hard as he can and Then

25:07

he whispers another girl's name in your ear and

25:09

he sees how long he can hold on Don't

25:17

think I'd love that I also don't like when

25:19

it's silent like when it's just

25:22

like crickets Yeah, you need like a

25:24

little music. I'm done for some music

25:26

but even just like communication like yeah

25:28

talking I like talking to ya when

25:30

guys asking that I go How do

25:32

you like I say I'm like you have

25:34

to let you know talk a little bit. Don't be

25:36

like too quiet Oh, yeah What do I say like

25:38

just narrate what you're doing if you aren't sure what

25:40

to say like or like ask if someone likes that

25:42

Or like do you like this or do you want

25:44

me to do this? Yeah, they could be

25:46

probing you to just talk dirty Talk

25:48

dirty to them. They're like so what kind

25:50

of things should I say here? Say it

25:53

into the microphone It

25:56

could be do you feel like so since

25:58

you're married and you're giving advice and clearly

26:01

people are like, God, I wish you could

26:03

just be single. Do you feel like any

26:05

of these guys are like sort of

26:07

falling in love with you? Do you ever feel like you're

26:09

like, um, no, not my clients.

26:12

I mean, I get some like pretty, uh,

26:14

interesting like fan mail or

26:17

like emails that are like say that

26:19

says some weird shit, but no, like

26:21

people who are like, actually I'm coaching

26:23

one on one or taking my courses. They're

26:26

much more, I feel like they are firmly

26:29

footed in reality and are like, actually just looking

26:31

to improve their dating lives, not date me. That's

26:34

good. How do you, so

26:37

I'd be curious to know how you answer this

26:39

one. How do you tell your significant other that

26:41

they're getting fat? Oh,

26:44

so my husband did he

26:46

like in hindsight, he definitely got soft like a

26:48

couple years ago and I didn't, I don't know.

26:50

I didn't tell him. I did it. I just

26:53

was like, I guess this is my life now.

26:55

We're like already married and then he realized himself

26:57

and now he's like double down on the gym.

27:00

He has a personal trainer and he's like looking so good and I'm

27:02

like, wow. Yeah. He just had to like figure it

27:04

out on his own. So he was never fat. No,

27:07

I mean, but if you guess if he was like actually fat, I'd be

27:09

like, maybe you're like getting a little

27:11

soft. Yeah. Soft is like a nice

27:13

word. Yeah. And like cheesy, but

27:15

you can't as a guy, you can't tell a

27:17

girl she's getting fat. Not early on. Yeah. Like

27:20

just like, I think you just kind of encourage healthy behaviors. Yeah.

27:23

Let's like have salads for lunch. Like, let's go on

27:25

a bike ride. You

27:27

can't be like, babe, you're getting fat. I

27:30

just asked my boyfriend if he's pregnant. I'm

27:33

like, hmm. Hinting at it. Like seven

27:35

months along. Looking good. All

27:37

right. I've got my tasting menu here. So

27:42

my giggles from the back

27:44

and he's just like, yo.

27:47

You a fucking savage. I'm

27:51

like, wow, men can get pregnant. Who

27:53

knew? And

27:57

then I rub his belly like it's like a Buddha head. He loves that.

28:00

Yeah, like I said, shocking. I'm still in a

28:02

relationship following this man to the bathroom in the

28:04

whole way. I'm just like are you pregnant? Alright

28:09

so my tasting menu I'm gonna ask you

28:11

a series of rapid-fire questions So

28:13

you have to just answer first thing comes off top your head

28:16

What is the oldest thing in your fridge? Oh Some

28:20

Lone Star beers They're

28:24

actually expired I think I didn't

28:26

even know beer expired. I didn't either.

28:28

Yeah, I feel like if it expired

28:30

it would just get you drunker Yeah,

28:32

it can keep it like a mince.

28:35

I can try all you know Do you prefer the East Coast

28:38

or the West Coast? Mmm West Coast deep

28:41

dish or thin crust pizza then cut Do you

28:43

like pineapple on your pizza? Yes get off my

28:45

show Star Wars or Harry Potter Harry

28:47

Potter? Same best music

28:49

to have sex to ooh,

28:51

it's like slow jams R&B leather

28:53

lace Ghosts

28:56

or aliens aliens leather

28:59

Well dominatrix in you. Oh, yeah, I got some leather

29:01

skirts at home Okay,

29:04

we're gonna circle by run of that mohawks or

29:06

mullets Oh mullets manicure

29:09

pedicure manicure Favorite

29:11

cocktail Oh dirty martini. What

29:13

is the perfect amount of cocktails to have on a

29:15

first date? Oh Disgusting

29:22

nasty. Oh, I like it.

29:24

Just a whisper dirty. I like

29:26

I want dirty talk I

29:28

want like an olive

29:30

to orgasm a lot

29:32

with blue cheese Oh, yes, I love a good

29:35

blue cheese all but you know what they say

29:37

about martinis They're like breasts one

29:39

is not enough and three is too many. Oh You're

29:42

right about that. Yeah, you can

29:44

drink more than two glasses of

29:46

gin. Yeah, you also probably have

29:49

a problem Favorite

29:51

flowers. Ooh, I like a mixed

29:53

bouquet All

29:58

of them in one Shower

30:00

bath. Bath. Coffee or

30:03

tea? Coffee. Song or granny

30:05

panties? Song. Morning bird or night

30:07

owl? Morning bird. Favorite position?

30:10

Ooh. Why

30:13

would the taste be called? I like when I'm laying on my...

30:15

The bull. Yeah, the bull, that one. The

30:19

new one, I'm gonna go home and try the bull. What

30:21

is it called in what? Well, it's like

30:23

not doggy style, but it's like laying flat,

30:26

but on your stomach. Oh. I

30:28

mean, I got reverse... Reverse missionary? Backwards...

30:30

What do you guys call that when the girl's

30:32

laying flat, backward, upside down, other ways? You

30:35

know what I mean? I

30:40

don't know, the lazy on top, I guess? No,

30:43

it's when the girl's on the bottom and

30:46

the guy's having sex with her... Oh, the girl's on the bottom.

30:48

Because then you get like... But she's not doggy style. She's

30:51

flat. The plank. The

30:53

plank. The plank. The plank. The

30:58

plank. Lights on or off? On. Botox

31:00

or wrinkles? Botox. iPhone

31:02

or Android? iPhone. Hair up or down?

31:05

Down. Wine or champagne? Wine.

31:08

Favorite car? Porsche. Introvert

31:10

or extrovert? Oh, what's the one in

31:12

the middle, both? Drug

31:14

addict? To bring out the introvert? Sweet

31:19

or savory? Savory.

31:21

Karaoke or dancing? Dancing. Goldfish

31:23

or Cheez-its? Spearman or peppermint? Peppermint.

31:26

Boxers or briefs? Briefs. Chocolate or vanilla?

31:29

Chocolate. Alpha or beta?

31:31

Alpha. Mix-match socks or

31:34

matching? Matching. Weird. I

31:36

don't have a single pair of matching socks. I

31:38

used to be that way. I don't

31:40

want to be that way. I don't want

31:42

to be the mix-match sock girl. Now I'm

31:44

like obsessed with the matching. I don't know

31:46

if something's changed. God, you know that's why

31:48

like pantyhose? Because they suck

31:51

together. There's no separating them. It's like you and

31:53

your boyfriend. There's no separating us. We were just always together. Conjoined

32:01

twins would be ideal. He is

32:03

a twin! Really? Yeah, so I

32:05

feel like now I've taken his

32:07

place. Is he identical? A fraternal.

32:09

But if you squint really hard

32:11

and have three martinis, they

32:13

sort of look the same. Only

32:16

my boyfriend's like an inch and a half taller. Ooh,

32:19

lucky him. And more pregnant. So

32:22

for my dessert question, I

32:25

feel like this is a two-part question. What is the

32:27

sweetest thing that your husband has ever done for you?

32:30

He threw me a surprise

32:32

30th birthday party. He

32:34

hosted it with my best friend after we'd

32:37

only been dating for like three or four

32:39

months. He went out of his way

32:41

and planned the whole thing. That's really sweet. Yeah, it

32:43

was so sweet. And how did he propose to you?

32:45

We were on a dog walk. It

32:48

was here in Austin, not where we live now. It

32:50

was at our favorite place to walk the dog and

32:52

we had just gotten back from a music festival. He

32:54

wasn't even planning on doing it right then, but he

32:57

felt like the mood was right. And he got the

32:59

ring. And when we were on our dog walk, it

33:01

was a full moon. It was a blue moon. Oh,

33:04

so it was a night walk. It was a night

33:06

walk. And he did it on the walk at our

33:08

favorite spot with our dog. Did he just tell you,

33:10

oh, was it like a little area where you guys would stop?

33:12

He didn't have it planned. I mean, we were on a field,

33:14

like at a middle school, actually. So

33:18

it wasn't, I mean, you're probably imagining this really

33:20

romantic, no, it was like a dead

33:23

grass at a middle school, like a

33:25

pile of dirt. On the playground where

33:27

you used to give people advice. Yes.

33:30

But it was perfect. It was like, it

33:33

felt very right and very us. That's

33:35

very sweet. We're not very like fancy

33:37

traditional. We had a cosmic cowboy themed

33:39

wedding in Marfa, Texas. Fun! Yeah, so

33:41

fun. It was the most fun ever.

33:44

Oh, man. Yeah, it's like we're more

33:46

about fun than like looking

33:48

fancy. I love that. Well, that's cool.

33:50

How can people find you? Dating by

33:53

Blaine across all social media at datingbyblaine.com.

33:55

Well, thank you for coming on my show. Thank you. It

33:57

was super lovely to have you on. Thank

34:00

you for watching another episode. We'll see you next

34:02

time. Are

34:06

you really drinking a glass of milk with Jenna? You

34:11

told your mom about me yesterday. You

34:14

need to leave my number. Your

34:17

parents. Are you a roommate?