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record hey you know what they've had it interesting definitely had it interesting you know it's gonna be 80 degrees down in Delaware on Friday I'm thinking about getting on a plane on a Thursday I'm going down there uh huh we're gonna have to go back to Delaware but we're not staying at the end of the boating beach again we're staying at the Sinesta Select don't talk to my daughter actually when you have the kids for a weekend pull them out of school on Friday and we'll be on Thursday night stay till Sunday yes I I was thinking you won't wanna leave really want to get back down there for sure hey 1 2 1 2 2 3 make sure the recorder is working okay hey one 2 hey one two oh is it not plugged in no that's going oh we got turned up hello 1 2 1 2 1 2 1 2 1 2 hey 1 2 hey one two hey one two hey hey one two hey one two hey one two alright so high but it's okay it's not the primary just a backup and we're not streaming so I'm not concerned all right what really hey one last thing to worry about yeah all the money you're gonna save on haircuts my son's been cutting my hair since the pandemic are you ready uh huh alright here we go in 5 4 3 2 ah welcome back to an original podcast of Fishing Without Bait a lifetime without definitive expectations where we help people explode into their lives through full impact rifles it's also very interested in hearing about recovery stories as your host here is long term recovery alcohol addiction and to show not the whole of stories but what happened and how you did it that's the deal that we're talking about so if you're interested in any of these things if you're interested in empowering your life and getting back to your self concept and self esteem please join us and today I'm Jim Bellamyre and I'm Jim Bellamyre every day as far as I know I'm going by the co host of this program the producer hello good to be back with you once again Jim yes Mike you know as I'm back into uh full time therapist as I'm back into being a full time therapist and seeing people in person again reminds me of the issues that we're dealing with when we're dealing with filter reality so when I say this with filter reality um it sounds like you know it kind of sounds like you know a virtual reality a matrix the matrix movie because the reality was what was presented to them right yes so and again people said this dozens of times on this world and it irritates me so much that young ladies begin to lose their self concept around 9 years old when I look at 4 and 5 years old I've had kids they have a sense of self they can be independent they can be blatantly selfish they speak their mind what are the first words that a child learns is no they have a sense of self they have a sense of identity however that begins to go out of the window and they begin to get exposed to unfiltered reality and when I'm talking about unfiltered reality I'm talking about social media influencers okay okay so we're talking about like the beauty tip girls and the dancing and and and things like that right there's nobody that looks like me that's right hmm don't blame them but however they're all beautiful young girls and or handsome stunning men and they live these lives that uh people think that why can't I live that yeah I know our friend daughters that was on Katie daughters that was on the show a few times was talking to me over the holidays about how the few days afterwards you get everybody with their halls their holiday halls so of course they're rich people that had just got like crazy piles of presents or something and then and they just filmed them and put them on TikTok cause it's like okay good for you you know not everybody has that situation right now and then you know if you're if you're good enough to afford a phone and have TikTok now you're seeing that and wondering why can't I have that so these young people look at these people as heroes they look at them as idols mm hmm yes these influencers never talk about going to work they never talk about cleaning clothes they never talk about doing the laundry what they talk about is I have a wonderful life that you can too so what they're doing is they're selling a milk they're selling fantasies and a more direct way than like we're used to advertisers and beauty products and clothing lines and and just the general you know things are representing on TV the Hulk Mark movieization of things right this is more direct because this seems more real right so we've talked about this before of course I try to help people in a purpose in their life I try to have them develop some type of a passion however I hear a whole lot of meditation people and influence out there talk about well that's all you need to do it's not they live in this fantasy world convincing people that all they do is walk in forests and play magic fruits and petting squirrels I've always always been because I follow some business people right you know some business influences I guess you could call them right and it's like all you have to do is this this and this I was like well that's great because that worked for you you're on the other side of it and you're like this is all I had to do also maybe you were in the right place the right time with the thing you did to get to that you know you we talk about the the uh the 10 year overnight success right it looks easy enough okay how do I get to you now the responsible ones are saying guys it took me 10 years to get this like it took me 10 years of failing to get this you know it took me 20 years of failing to get this it's okay if you're not there yet you know there's certain things in my life with that where it's like okay I've been at this for 15 years or certain things I have not accomplished but actually I got more time you know before I was used to listen to this sports podcast years and years ago Bill Curry and uh somebody called in and talked about the night they talk about the closer coming in and the pressure and Bill Curry's response was that's not pressure when the rents due tomorrow you don't have the money that's pressure hmm so most people that I know like there may be a lot of that you do we're dealing with life situations every day we're dealing with putting gas in the car going to work uh feeding our family paying the gas Bill doing the laundry doing all those type of things dealing with rising prices and those things are never addressed so what I try to do is present people with conception and the truest straight talk of reality mm hmm absolutely I know that most people just can't take the afternoon off and go MUD in a MUD bath yeah or go have stone just go have a massage I have been trying to rack my brain for 5 years to figure out how when and where I'm gonna go get a massage you know I have not figured it out for life of me we talk about Abraham Maslow's uh hierarchy of needs at the bottom is safety shelter that's what people's basic concerns are so but then they're sitting cleaning the toilet maybe watching TikTok doing these things in this beautiful hotel is doing these beautiful things in this beautiful environment and you're scrubbing toilets and you're thinking why can't I live like that this is unattainable and this is why I determine that title of this podcast will be filtered reality because it's to I don't know what these people look like without all the filters and all the settings I don't know I'd like to see it yeah yeah yeah what what what what is the what is the real date you ever see um I I I I watch some behind the scenes and it's interesting because you know uh you know the actresses were just used to like what Scarlett Johansson looks like or this person and this person and then you see them without the makeup and it's like a striking difference right a lot of wrestler friends I see them not done up like they're going in front of people it's it's you think of this person as they always look like this it's like well what they look like when they get up in the morning you know those kinds of ideas unfortunately most people live paycheck to paycheck and they're trying to squeeze out those last two days when money's gone mm hmm yep yep blowing their paychecks on frivolous things like gambling yep yep there's they gotta feed their children they gotta clothe their children and dealing with the unfiltered reality teenagers deal with you know like over 80% of people aged 13 to 19 get most of their information on social media excuse me it's not the news it's not their content social media there's not there's probably less of the gathering around the television and that's you know I grew up in whatever was on the TV you know that was the information coming in our magazines or what not right and and now you know they can be and themselves in their room on their phone wherever and and and it's like again you know great access but also maybe not the greatest things to be accessing right I asked people to take the stowing view of study there seems to be some kind of getting this recently bias of influence by the last thing you see here it used to be that let's say showing my age now water concrete whoever respected this absolutely that's carried over this person say something the influencers say something whatever the source you're presented is the one that you believe the one that's in front of you right like every and again keep in mind that people who come to see me are coming in our White Horse no but every single female doesn't matter what age every single female does not like their body and does not mm hmm every single one of so where do you them yeah yeah from from what they see on the phone on the TV and I've you know and I'm sure not as severe as you know and actually I do know some people that have had some body dysmorphia some guys that have had some body dysmorphia issues around professional wrestling because it's a very show off kind of business right and those guys are doing it and work on it every day and still not happy with how they look right um to me I'm a video producer around wrestling so I tend to hang out with a lot of fish and fit in beautiful people haha it's like part of my job right between that and MMA and things like that and just like oh I've at least reasoned while I do try to work out uh I have reasoned I will not look like this person it's their job to look like that right that's a difference right the fitness instructor that I watch on my Apple Fitness it's their job to look that good you know so like that is not entertainable necessarily but it is something to strive towards but it's okay if I don't get there you know and be happy with like and I feel better good moving on hmm and there are some people who are genetically yes yep yep yep and um and and it's one thing I do like about I've noticed this with Apple Fitness is they are there are a lot of fitness and structures that are representing different body types right they're obviously working out they're obviously doing the thing but for whatever reason their body just you know does it a different way you know things happen I just read sorry just one one more I was just thinking about somebody who is somebody actually got to meet a former WWE person she was in Playboy back in the day uh has had 2 kids still until television um and she just had a video the other day about how like she had a thyroid thing and now her body doesn't react the way it used to and this is somebody who her entire life has been her body type in her fitness and now she has a re identity thing going on there right you don't know and you don't know what those people have to go through to look the way they do well some of this enhanced by drugs or other yes yeah a visible diet so I used to go to this fitness place I'm not gonna name it and I didn't fit in there because the guys were all hoarded out the girls haha these these are not my people haha this is a plug I guess for Planet Fitness hmm isn't that isn't it more comfortable to go to a place absolutely absolutely I don't want to go to the place where all my pro wrestling friends work out unless they're helping me figure it out yeah well it might be nice to film it and watch them go to their workouts and maybe present that but uh no one time uh I I forget it there was a pirate picture uh forget who it was but he was a white guy the rest of the the rest of the team uh was people of color in that particular day and uh Willy Stardew came in off of uh first base and then looked at the and it was Jim Roger Jim Roger and when we started he looked at him and says how's it feel to be a marshmallow on a box of bonbons celebrate the differences right yes well anyway today's sport seems to be where there is a meshing there is a mountain and unfortunately when I live in Pittsburgh where there is more of a melting pot type of philosophy absolutely mmm hmm I don't judge other people's lifestyles so that's what uh that's what these social influencers bring out whether it's intentional or not but it brings out a lot of comparisons absolutely so one of the biggest comparisons in particularly for young ladies is what are they wearing and when they go to school hmm because maybe your parents can't afford to buy the latest fashion the brand name cause everybody's looking at the fashions on TikTok now it's even worse you know and one of the things that I always talked about this before that bothers me the most is these wannabe mental health so called professionals on TikTok and social media that tell you what worked in their lives they don't work in yours hmm but they I I it's so hurtful it's there's consequences to this type of unintended advice you're telling people what to do with mental health and most of these people have no experience no education in it at all and they're telling you what you should do and I've heard a lot of them say that they shouldn't you shouldn't be going to college you shouldn't be going to therapist you can figure this out listen to us I was like great that worked for you but you know it's not necessarily the prescription that's gonna work for me well amazingly enough all of these TikTok therapists happen to be oh it's been proven over and over again that people take what a beautiful person says to them as more literal true than let's say an average normal person who give them the same advice that these people who are beautiful they have something going on so they listen to them yep and I know that you know you're a social media guy and we've talked before about kind of the paradox of us having these shows and I think this is No. 404 about you help people connect and I help people disconnect yes yes well we're kind of the Yin and Yang when it comes to that isn't it so you know but you know I'm hoping I'm hoping I'm helping people mindfully connect you know so you know hmm but people want to everyone wants to be famous for 15 minutes that used to be perfect absolutely I have a company I have a company I work for was like how do we go viral I was like well you went viral and what did you get what did you get out of it you know like that's not what you should be building right now right absolutely if you're using social media it's just some escapism like watching Ernest Goes to jail just so funny cause I actually watch Ernest say it's Christmas over the holidays just so you know mind time that's not worried or anything that's that's a small moment for me however if you're viewing these things as some type of reward for getting things done but keep in mind that what you're looking at listen and make a wise mind look at this with a wide mind and find out how real this is absolutely so I think I've got that off my chest it's just it's a therapist idea and and and and I think it'd be interested if anybody wants to kind of chime in on our social media uh listening this episode um are you you know do you find yourself kind of being influenced by these things do you have somebody that that you know that that you're seeing kind of uh uh reacting to to too much uh too much TikTok the wrong kind of TikTok you know any anecdotes out there please share those uh whether be on our social media at without bait on on Twitter and I'm fishing without bait on most other platforms um or you can hit us up on the contact format of fishing without bait dot com and DMS DMS are open as well you know we don't have to discuss public but we'd love to hear from you and have a conversation with it Jim loves talking to the I know I know I know I see Jim in the DMS here from time to time so talking with the listeners out there well uh just a little heads up on some upcoming guests uh huh Jay's car uh huh professional wrestler will be returning he's been in some great stuff yeah look up Jay's car on J a y C E K a R R he over on our Indie Wrestling US sister channel over there I will I will say that the most recent matches little SFW little guy little bloody but if you want to see what he's up to he's having a lot of fun and even teamed up with the Grinch over the holidays so yes somebody's dead somebody's dead and another special treat on uh January the 29th uh Santana Grace uh Clara Boyen mm hmm will be joining us again who has so many insights into life mm hmm how life's been absolutely fabulous absolutely recording on January 29th look for those episodes probably coming sometime in February after recording so yep yep people from California and as always material hmm we ask you to consider becoming a patient absolutely thank you every dollar helps yep we've been fortunate enough to be able to fund this show for the last X number of years I have no idea how long we've been on Mike at least 6 years yes so at the end we offer a free prescription fruits nuts and vegetables unplug your television and take out fishing for a truly mindful experience we suggest that you fish without bait do a kindness for yourself and do a kindness for another forgive yourself and forgive another if we're all not the creative children none of us are be good to yourself to all the free non agrarian non of them okay well I'm glad I hit the backups because I'm just realized I didn't record locally one of those days one of those days alright we're gonna pull this one then and take that back with us alright that makes that easier actually cause now everything is on