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traditions. Kroger, fresh for everyone. Hello

0:54

everybody. Welcome to this episode of Flats and Shanks

0:56

podcast. I won't tell you what you've just been

0:59

talking about because it got

1:01

dark. We have to turn the lights off. It got that dark.

1:05

Don't act like you're all upbeat. Don't act like you're all

1:07

up. We're back. No, we're upbeat. This is an upbeat one

1:09

today. This is upbeat. Mike, no, it's

1:11

not. I'm not doing that. I'm

1:13

not buying in. I'm not faking it, mate. Somebody

1:15

got a late night tonight. The

1:18

late night's fine. It's people

1:22

on Instagram. Hi everyone.

1:25

Welcome to the pod. It's people

1:27

on Instagram acting

1:30

like having

1:32

20 kids is just, it's all

1:34

joy, joy, joy. No,

1:37

it's not. It's not. I

1:39

love it. I don't love my kids any less

1:41

when it's hard work. I don't. But it's

1:45

every day now. Every day the

1:47

noise is so extreme that I have to

1:49

just leave the room for a minute or

1:51

like you're at Black Tie dinner doing an

1:53

auction. It's like

1:55

that. Go for another long poo. Well,

1:58

I read on Instagram, which is where all the... the truth is

2:00

that the truth of life exists and

2:03

are laid out. I say you should never tell

2:06

your children to shush because

2:08

it affects their self-confidence and it beats them down and

2:10

it's like, uh, what

2:13

happens if you never tell your children to shush? The

2:19

turning to James Haskell. That's

2:21

the first thing you do when you get on a mic,

2:23

isn't it? Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh,

2:25

shh, shh, I tell you what you did do today. Yeah.

2:30

Or today or this week, because I know you're a busy boy today, you

2:32

need to watch the Will Smith film, The Pursuit

2:34

of Happiness. I

2:37

don't get back to me, all right? Yeah, do you

2:39

know, it's funny, like the, I haven't

2:41

seen that, but I know I've seen bits of it

2:43

and it's just super, super hectic and

2:45

all that. And yesterday

2:47

I was like, I wasn't heading

2:49

my hands, but I had to go and pick

2:52

up my daughter from nursery and

2:54

then the other side of town because you can't, I

2:56

don't know if I've had this conversation. I think we've

2:58

had it, we've had it. You can't get into a

3:00

nursery on my side of town. You can't get into

3:02

them and the kids- You can't trouble

3:04

stamp a double stamp, Lloyd. So

3:06

the waiting lists for nurseries

3:09

where we live are

3:12

so long that the children who have the

3:14

spots that my daughters can't get, right? This

3:17

is, and by the way, the nursery next year is 92 or

3:20

93 pounds a day, a day. You

3:23

can't get in because the kids who've

3:26

got the spots, you can't get in for two and

3:28

a bit years. That tells me not

3:30

only did the kids not been born yet, who

3:32

are on the waiting list, they haven't been conceived

3:34

yet, right? So it's

3:36

years away that you can get in. So the only nurse

3:38

we could get is across, and it's actually a really nice

3:40

nursery, but other side of town, across the river, it's

3:43

dark, Christmas markets, it is just,

3:46

it would be quicker to walk only sod that with

3:48

a toddler. I've then got to get back past

3:50

my house, other side of town to pick up the other kids.

3:53

This is all fine except it's dark, it's pissing

3:55

with rain, can't see

3:57

anything, traffic.

4:00

horrendous and I'm thinking this is

4:02

just a bog standard double little

4:04

pickup why am

4:06

I finding it so difficult? What

4:09

you should do is like make broke me. Do you drive or

4:11

do you walk or do you get an electric bike or do

4:13

you have like one of those bikes with a big... I've got

4:16

three kids and bags and hockey bags.

4:18

Oh okay sorry I thought you said

4:21

nursery. Yeah one of the one of

4:23

the kids is there the other two at school. You

4:25

should just put on like put a little song on

4:29

and your car make you feel better and I would

4:31

suggest the streets dry your eyes mate.

4:38

It's only in the car is

4:40

only Moana soundtrack or Baby

4:43

Shark that's it. There's

4:46

nothing else Baby Shark and repeat. As

4:48

long as they're quiet mate. They're

4:51

not of course they're not. I

4:54

tell you what I watched last night right

4:56

which is good which I

4:58

just stumbled across because I was looking for

5:01

something to watch a

5:03

half hour before I go to bed and

5:07

the parachute murder plot on

5:09

Netflix. Right what's that about?

5:16

It's about scuba diving and

5:22

it's really good. It's a true story

5:24

and it's documentary really from past

5:27

footage police interviews and

5:30

witnesses. It's about a husband

5:34

who basically tries to

5:37

murder his wife by tampering with her parachute and

5:39

how he was proved guilty. Oh

5:41

right. It's

5:43

quite interesting. Intrigue again. What a

5:46

schlad. Yeah just do a better

5:48

job. What a rubbish bloke. Yeah well

5:50

I didn't mean that. I meant trying to kill his wife

5:52

not doing a nice job. Yeah we

5:55

did but it's good. I always

5:57

think like these

6:01

whole like right conspiring to kill your

6:03

spouse I presume it's to do with

6:07

like desperately wanting them to

6:09

be gone or not with them anymore

6:11

and getting a big check for insurance

6:13

correct you've obviously thought about it but

6:15

he was he

6:18

was completely random he was he

6:20

was in the he was in the army but

6:23

then he had loads of different

6:25

affairs on the go and

6:28

his wife had just converted second

6:30

child and he was messing escorts and he'd

6:33

go to like a swingers house and they

6:35

were all over the place things like that yeah

6:38

but then he wanted he wanted to

6:40

move in with someone else he wanted a girlfriend

6:43

and he wanted the money and I

6:45

make completely random but brilliant like

6:48

in fascinating okay okay from

6:50

from how the police called

6:52

him really and how what channels that on so

6:55

Netflix thing on that is

6:57

so next yeah two episodes into

6:59

slow horses I'm not sure there's the bird

7:01

available yet no there

7:04

isn't it comes tomorrow Wednesday

7:06

mmm I like it it's good

7:08

it is I still think series one

7:10

and two better than this one so far yeah

7:13

I just sort of think without

7:15

spoiling it for people the initial

7:18

of why River left to

7:20

go and help I don't

7:23

want it I don't want to spoil it for anyone

7:25

but you know when he gets his

7:27

message and he leaves straight away to go meet

7:29

someone on the bridge yeah like

7:32

I just find that bit unbelievable yeah

7:36

I found the fan a couple of bits in the first kind

7:38

of episodes that are a bit like yeah

7:41

coffee cup went down too lightly sort of thing yeah

7:44

it's a little bit like it's a little bit all

7:47

those teacups are empty yeah yeah like would you do

7:49

that would you really do that if you saw a

7:51

text message like that a pitch like that and

7:54

just leave straight away without asking

7:56

anybody you know you're my five you

7:59

tell one of the team at least. You

8:01

tell your message on the way. Yeah,

8:06

but I also think Roddy Ho who's

8:08

one of the main characters, not the actor

8:10

but I think the character is just really

8:12

over the top. Which one's Roddy Ho? Oh

8:15

yeah I know Roddy Ho. You know

8:17

the Roddy Ho and I almost

8:19

think when you get David Brent,

8:22

the genius of Ricky Gervais with David Brent

8:24

is that he wasn't over the top, he

8:27

was believably awful, he was a major skin

8:29

crawl whereas Roddy Ho's a bit like, I

8:32

mean there literally isn't anyone like that in the world

8:34

who's actually like that. So I sort of think that's

8:37

been overdone a little bit. I'm

8:39

with you, I'm with you but I'm still

8:41

enjoying it. I watched

8:44

Kin, Kin

8:46

Irish drama, all

8:49

Drico's mates from Dublin. It's

8:53

filmed actually, all the houses are in the shadow

8:55

of the Aviva Stadium. Have

8:59

you noticed how Irish rugby folks when

9:01

they say they don't say at

9:03

the Aviva or at Twickenham they say in

9:05

the Aviva or in Twickenham, they

9:07

always say in Wembley. That

9:11

was quite good. It

9:13

was good, I enjoyed that. I definitely

9:15

wanted to watch. I've tried a few

9:17

things lately, I'm really struggling for decent telly at the moment.

9:19

I'm glad Kin was good because I'm Strugsville. You gave me

9:21

something to watch which I forgot. You got to text me

9:24

mate. I can't remember things. That's

9:27

it. Same every

9:29

time. Yeah, okay. Every

9:31

week. I remind you once a week. So

9:34

I've got a big problem in my life at the moment. Do you want

9:36

to hear about it?

9:39

I realise this is all negatives. Jackets or

9:41

shirts that don't fit. I don't know,

9:43

let me guess. Air pods don't fit in your

9:45

ear and you've got to get bespoke, you've got to go to Savile

9:47

Row to get, no actually, Tottenham

9:50

Court Road. That's where all the electric shops are. I

9:53

think your dad used to be, isn't he? Yeah,

9:55

to get some large little

9:57

air pods to fit in your ears. But

10:00

then I had a fiddle around and realized that I can

10:02

actually shove them in a bit further if I get my

10:04

tuck my Loves out and actually they're perfect now. So I

10:07

was wrong. You went to get your teeth white and it

10:09

didn't work I'm not like you

10:11

know So

10:16

when we when we did our little gardener here

10:18

in Bath It's not a big

10:20

garden as you've seen but there's like there

10:22

is a lawn right and

10:24

it's a town garden There is a lawn. It's

10:26

probably I Don't

10:29

know if it's 15 or 20 meters long I'm looking at

10:31

it now and 15

10:34

20 meters and about I don't know how wide

10:38

10 meters 8 meters wide or something like

10:40

that, right? You couldn't you you

10:42

couldn't long jump it but it's not huge so

10:46

When the lady came round Rosie who does like

10:48

it's one of those little things It's only little

10:50

so you think you don't need a garden designer

10:52

But actually what you do is you pay a

10:54

200 quid for this plan from

10:56

someone who really knows their stuff So

10:59

someone told me to use I said she was brilliant and

11:01

she actually thought I don't think what you're doing there is

11:03

right I think you need to swap this and that and

11:05

you need to rebuild that wall and That

11:08

will take them one day, but it will last forever

11:10

and I stuff and I might actually she was brilliant

11:12

She said please don't tell me you're gonna put plastic

11:14

grass in here because you got kids and I said

11:16

no way I Like real

11:18

grass I like it. I've got a robot mower. I'm

11:21

into it and she said good now

11:24

I Know lots of

11:26

people leave me as is one of them I

11:28

think Draco is one you are another who

11:30

have got plastic grass now it is

11:33

rainy season. Uh, I haven't oh

11:35

I thought you did no. All right someone else so

11:39

I'm now in a environment. I'm

11:42

now in a situation where all Down

11:46

one side and at the end of our garden

11:48

if the drainage like we we tore everything up

11:51

We put some whatever it is underneath it to help the

11:53

drainage and the guys who laid the lawn were like this

11:55

is what we can Do with the drainage. I said do

11:57

it all great. It's not not like a bloody

12:00

Wembley level system, this is domestic garden,

12:02

put some bloody gravel underneath it or

12:04

something. And it's

12:06

just a bog, it is an absolute bog

12:08

and the rain hits

12:11

the mud and splatters so

12:13

our shed is like a black shed now and

12:15

the walls are black. And it's just like, and

12:17

if you walk out, even on

12:19

the bits that look like lush grass, you walk out in

12:21

your crocs to get something from the shed, each

12:24

footprint leaves a black,

12:26

like a muddy footprint, even if you go

12:28

really light, admittedly, I weigh a lot, it's

12:31

like squelch, squelch, squelch and there are black footprints all

12:33

the way up the lawn because it is that wet.

12:35

So I'm thinking, maybe it's time

12:38

to consider plastic grass because our garden,

12:40

you cannot walk on it. And

12:42

if you do, you walk back over the patio

12:44

and you just trail mud everywhere. This

12:47

is, you know, half the year. But then if

12:50

it's plastic grass, will it just flood

12:53

and pool and waterlog and

12:55

it won't be any different? It

12:58

will drain. But where?

13:00

Why isn't it draining now? Where

13:05

will it go that this water is not going? Do you know

13:07

what I mean? Yeah, no, that's a good point. But

13:12

the mud just becomes soggy, doesn't it? Forget

13:17

where the drain goes, the mud becomes wet so it's not

13:19

going to drain as well

13:21

as plastic grass. I was

13:23

going to have plastic grass or I

13:25

was going to go 6G, but it was

13:28

too expensive. I mean,

13:30

Drico has got plastic grass and he says it's changed

13:32

his life. He's never been happy, couldn't be happy with

13:34

it, he says. Kids can play out

13:37

there all the time, you see. And you don't get the

13:39

house muddy. Yeah. And

13:41

we absolutely cannot use our garden

13:43

now unless the weather's good. You

13:45

cannot go out there because the

13:48

lawn, if the kids ran around on the

13:50

lawn for five minutes, it would ruin the

13:52

whole lawn. Like, you know, my

13:54

little robot mother, they don't weigh anything. If you

13:57

had your eyes shut, you wouldn't know it was

13:59

there. really light and they if

14:02

that drives around our garden for 10 minutes

14:04

after it's been raining there's just muddy tracks

14:06

all over the garden. There must be a

14:08

reason why if you get artificial

14:10

grass that water

14:13

doesn't hold on the surface like normal

14:16

grass. There must be a reason why. It's

14:18

probably easy to drain because it doesn't get dirty whilst

14:21

you think of grass and mud and all

14:23

that water's got to go through somewhere and come

14:25

out somewhere. Yeah let us know please

14:28

write in email him. Yeah

14:30

but I'm a... It's a pain in the ark. I came

14:33

when I got my garden done a couple of years ago

14:35

a year or 18 months ago

14:38

I just it was too expensive to

14:40

get so I just went grass. Is

14:43

it really expensive is it?

14:45

Hmm not for a probably a what

14:48

you want because your garden is a little bit smaller

14:50

and you put a little bit of grass rather than

14:52

my whole garden needs to be grassed sort of thing.

14:54

Yeah yeah so I

14:57

think also you'd get someone in you do a

14:59

quick video you'd say that you've sold it up

15:01

the road to some old lady who you'll be

15:04

fine. Exactly but it is

15:12

a thing because like it's

15:14

minimum six months of the year we

15:16

cannot let the kids in the garden.

15:18

Yeah I'm with you. This is ridiculous

15:20

now. And

15:24

it's yeah it's a pain in the ark. I

15:26

might look at it this year. You

15:29

got stuff in the shed the shed at the back of the garden you

15:31

got stuff in the shed and

15:33

you know walking over there is like

15:35

it's like the really the old days

15:37

from like the 70s when rugby was played in

15:39

a bog you're walking over that to get

15:41

something out the shed and it's just like I could

15:43

grab your toolkit to hang this cabinet up yesterday and

15:45

I was like yeah great I've got to go into

15:47

the garden and it's like squelch squelch

15:49

squelch 20 black footprints on the garden.

15:52

I want to get my make Andrew

15:54

Nicholson from Element Servicing. He's going

15:56

to do a two-for-one deal and

15:59

we can do loads of stuff. on his

16:02

socials for him promoting it. He does it all, does he? The

16:05

lady up the road, get her in as well. I

16:08

really don't... Yeah, get her in down the road.

16:10

I really don't want it. Like, I don't have

16:12

anything against it. I just like grass. Just make

16:14

sure you've got some plant pots around it as

16:16

well, right? Because the environmental impact is pretty bad

16:19

for a plastic glass. Is it? Well,

16:21

it's not as good, no. You

16:24

think all the ants and all the

16:27

insects... And the neighbours

16:29

won't like it. Like, I genuinely don't think the neighbours would

16:31

like it. And I see their point, really, because this is

16:33

a... I know it's not a

16:35

great big garden, but it's a 200-odd-year-old garden. It's almost

16:37

like it's meant to have grass in it. Yeah.

16:41

No. Did that happen after before? I can't

16:43

remember. I've only seen it when it's been there. Not

16:45

it did, yeah, but it was knackered and overgrown

16:48

and there was... Well, it was

16:50

so shaded by all... There was, like, loads of

16:52

massive trees in this tiny little garden. So

16:55

it felt tiny and the grass couldn't

16:57

grow, basically. It was like the hair on top of

16:59

your head and my head. That's what the grass was

17:01

like. And there was hardly any of it. But it

17:04

was one of those houses where this never happened.

17:06

Like a chubba

17:09

chub lolly that's been dropped on the carpet. Correct.

17:12

Correct. Correct. It was one of those houses. This never

17:14

happened. Like, you look at it on right move and

17:16

you think, oh, that could work. It looks like it

17:18

needs a bit of work. That's all right. The garden

17:20

looks crap. Yeah, it's a shame, but we are near

17:22

the park sort of thing. So it's all right. You

17:25

convince yourself and the pictures look

17:27

crap. And you get it here and

17:30

actually you go in the garden, you're like, mate, this is

17:32

rubbish. Like, this is even this is too small to live

17:35

with. And it's like, what's behind this tree? Oh, right. Another

17:37

three quarters of the garden. And

17:40

they hadn't photographed it at all. It's

17:42

really strange that they just hadn't bothered. If they come

17:44

up one flight of stairs and taking a picture out

17:46

the back window and showed you the size

17:49

of the garden, it looked like it was a courtyard only.

17:51

And it's weird they didn't photograph it. Look

17:55

magical for them, maybe. Then I

17:57

bought we bought a house and got a mate in

17:59

town. who's a state agent and he's

18:01

a big character, he's a good bloke. He

18:04

said, oh, you just bought that house on so-and-so street. Yeah, excuse

18:06

my length. I won't say the words, don't swear on our pod

18:08

if we can avoid it. And outside of

18:10

public loads of people goes, mate, I can't

18:12

believe you bought that house. It's absolutely fucked. I

18:15

was just like, I was like, cheers,

18:17

mate. Yeah, we looked at it. Absolutely

18:19

knackered, ruined. Knackered. He's an

18:21

altitude. He's an altitude. And I said

18:24

it. Yeah, I thought they wouldn't

18:26

wait and say, yeah, we didn't list it. We

18:28

didn't list it because it's absolutely black. And I was

18:30

like, uh, I said, yeah, it

18:32

hasn't sold. It took a lot. He's been on

18:34

the market a while. He was like, yeah, because

18:36

it's absolute wreck. And I'm thinking, it's a funny

18:39

one because whenever I bought a house the last

18:41

20 years, I've moved a few times. Oh,

18:43

I was going to buy that. That's amazing. I've

18:46

got a mate when I, uh, yeah, no, he,

18:49

no, sorry. Their estate agents wouldn't list it, he

18:51

said. So they tried to sell it through us

18:53

and we said no, is what he intimated. Anyway,

18:56

I spoke to the owner later on and she was like, uh,

18:59

no, I never tried to sell it with them. Um,

19:01

I know these guys from this place. Okay. But

19:04

whenever I bought a house, I do a viewing and then

19:06

I've got a mate who is a structural engineer. He's

19:09

basically building controls. So he does building reg structure engineering.

19:13

It does the lot. And he knows an expert on planning and all that stuff. And

19:16

I'll do, if I ever do a second viewing, like we found

19:18

a house, we're like, oh my God, this is the one. So

19:21

we got Charlie to come for a second viewing and I'll just say, can I come

19:23

for a second viewing, please? And whether I'm

19:25

sure people don't mind, I turn up with my mate Charlie. I'm

19:28

like, hello, this is Charlie. And

19:30

he walks around and he will

19:32

be in there for half an hour max 20 minutes. And

19:35

he came out of one house and said, nope, don't do

19:38

it. And we were like bidding on

19:40

it. I'd already said, I want to put this bid

19:42

in, but let me see. And he said, do not bid on this

19:45

house. You will spend 75% of the asking

19:47

price to do it up again. And

19:50

I was like, Oh my God, right. He goes, it's just every

19:52

single thing needs doing. It might as well not be standing

19:54

there and it's listed. So like, right, gone, gone, gone. So

19:56

he's warned us off. He went round and he said, no,

19:59

I'm not. this place and said nothing

20:01

wrong with it and he said

20:03

you know builders will come in and tell you you've got

20:05

to rewire it, replumb it, new roof, you don't need any

20:08

of those things, windows are a bit shit but the rest

20:10

of it's fine and just

20:13

it's absolutely fine. So then

20:15

what you can do is this is the good

20:17

bit, you can make an offer that isn't subject

20:19

to survey so you can actually say well you

20:21

want 100 quid, I'm going to give

20:23

you 80 quid, no way

20:25

but no survey. When you're talking

20:28

about old houses if someone says I'll buy

20:30

it without a survey you're like

20:32

whoa okay there's a mortgage valuation survey

20:34

but not the other thing that pulls

20:36

up problems then

20:38

suddenly people are like that's interesting because my

20:40

mate Charlie's effectively already done a survey, it's

20:43

quite handy. You could totally run

20:45

like a thousand pods because we're now

20:47

talking about ways to buy a house,

20:49

bringing your mate Charlie along with you.

20:51

Yeah it's good though. Tired

20:56

of ads crashing your comedy podcast

20:59

party? Good news! Ad-free

21:01

listening on Amazon Music is included with

21:03

your Prime membership. Just head

21:05

to amazon.com/adfreecomedy to catch up

21:07

on the latest episodes without

21:10

the ads. to

21:17

celebrate traditions old and new. You could

21:19

do a classic herb roasted turkey or

21:21

spice it up and make turkey tacos.

21:24

Serve up a go-to shrimp cocktail or

21:26

use simple truth wild caught shrimp

21:29

for your first Cajun risotto. Make

21:31

creamy mac and cheese or a

21:33

spinach artichoke fondue from our selection

21:35

of Murray's cheese. No matter how you

21:37

shop Kroger has all the freshest ingredients

21:39

to embrace all your holiday traditions.

21:41

Kroger fresh for everyone. I

21:50

sat in the airport the weekend flat

21:52

for five hours waiting

21:55

for a flight. Mate that

21:57

was the most boring thing I've ever seen.

22:00

I was going to go flight half 11

22:03

to Belfast

22:05

Saturday morning and it was delayed because

22:07

Glasgow was snowed

22:11

in and there was a

22:13

setback then because the plane

22:15

was going via Glasgow to

22:17

Belfast and Belfast to Cardiff

22:19

and just bored mate, bored. But

22:22

do you want to know what I ate? Oh

22:30

man, I got in there and I had

22:33

a Costa in Cardiff airport. That was

22:35

close. That was the only positive

22:38

thing for me was a flight out of Cardiff. I

22:41

had a cheese

22:43

and ham toastie

22:45

and a cortado and an orange

22:47

juice because I needed the sugar because I had a couple

22:50

of beers. That wasn't

22:52

enough. There's turkey sandwich with trimmins

22:54

in as well. Another toastie

22:56

which is really good. Try that. It's

22:58

got cranberry sauce in. That was alright. Then

23:03

the flight was delayed so I thought, I need

23:06

to find somewhere company. So I paid like

23:08

£30 to go in the airport lounge which

23:11

I've got there which means

23:13

you get free food. So

23:15

then I had... Off rate, £30. Yeah, okay. They

23:18

got me in the small print.

23:21

Then I had a chickpea curry and

23:25

then I had turkey and

23:27

stuffing, pigs in blankets, cranberry

23:30

sauce roll, a

23:33

bag of crisps, a

23:36

diet coke, a coffee and

23:39

then I went home because the flight was too long.

23:41

I was going to miss the game. Oh,

23:44

you just ate all that and then went home? I had

23:46

my own. You never got to the game?

23:49

No, no, because the flight kept being

23:51

put back and then by

23:53

the time it actually came so...

23:57

Oh, it was a day off the game? Oh, my God. I

24:00

was a bit of a headache. I

24:05

was a bit. The

24:08

day before I did it, I asked Jason Fox. How

24:11

was that? I was good. Very good. Yeah,

24:13

very good. He's a nice bloke,

24:16

isn't he? Awesome. Like,

24:18

awesome talker. Anyone

24:22

who wants to host an event,

24:24

which is a little bit different because you've done

24:26

all of the sports styles, all the ropey boys.

24:29

It's just different, listening to him about why

24:32

I became a soldier, some of the missions

24:34

he's been on, how he

24:36

transitioned from soldiering

24:38

to, I mean, probably still

24:40

a current soldier. I don't know whether you've, whether

24:43

or not, he's not, I don't

24:45

think he's a serving soldier, but whether or not

24:47

he's still become a soldier. And

24:50

to SAS. Not being Olympic champion, isn't

24:52

it? You're always an Olympic champion. Yeah,

24:54

you're never a former, you're always Olympic

24:56

champion. It's great. And I put a

24:58

load of question cards down on people's

25:00

tables to ask questions. And,

25:03

you know, there was just random ones like, have you

25:05

ever killed anyone with your bare hands? Yeah, it's your

25:07

mum, Sam Fox. Can

25:10

you kill, can you kill a man armed only

25:12

with a biro? Any

25:14

relation of Fantastic Mr. Have

25:17

you ever given a man a lethal

25:19

blow? I won't say

25:21

who it was. I

25:25

had this one, this one question was, when

25:29

you get stuck at a place in

25:31

Cardiff, because there's no taxis left and you

25:34

forget to ring your wife to

25:36

tell you you're stuck and then you eventually come home at

25:38

six o'clock in the morning, she

25:40

doesn't speak to you all day. And then

25:42

when she does, what interrogation

25:45

advice would you give? It

25:48

was all about, yeah, it was

25:50

all about personal issues. Yeah, there's loads of,

25:53

have you ever killed anyone? I could answer

25:55

this. No, you can't. No, you can't. He

25:58

can't. No, but you, it could show. your

26:00

eyes but he's actually a few guys

26:02

are coming to Bath this Saturday as

26:04

big games in the weekend Europe obviously

26:06

coming up sorry Champions Cup and

26:09

a load of those guys

26:11

are coming to Bath this weekend and I'm off

26:13

to Bristol Saturday night but I'm actually just

26:16

I'm gonna pop in and have lunch with those guys

26:18

before I head to Ashton Gate this Saturday so I'll

26:20

be seeing him on Saturday but I'll be having zero

26:23

beers because I did that the

26:25

other day just before

26:29

met a couple of mates Roger,

26:32

Budgie, Andrew

26:34

Nicholson and Wetherspoons just

26:37

before Cardiff Storm was. Oh God,

26:41

oh God, it's so grotty.

26:44

Right next door to the stadium. I

26:46

don't care. I had to leave after

26:49

like 10 minutes because it

26:51

was so much fun I thought oh

26:53

yeah kill me. Yeah.

26:56

There are guys that can have a couple

26:58

of beers for lunch before they go and commentating

27:01

stuff and you or I

27:03

might be two of them but I

27:06

don't do it just in case and like

27:08

I had I had lunch with John Barkley before we

27:11

worked that night on a big game in Paris

27:13

whatever it was quarterfinal day weekend I think it

27:15

was and we

27:18

had zero alcohol beer we had like the zero

27:20

zero stuff just to add one pint didn't even

27:22

finish it but just to feel like we were

27:24

lads but actually be really scared

27:26

of having alcohol on those days so I didn't

27:28

do it. Because your breath smells when you go

27:30

in and people catch wind. Yeah just

27:32

like no no no not doing that. I had some

27:36

turkey last night. Oh I saw that.

27:39

Building up for Christmas mate. Yeah.

27:42

It is very

27:44

very good it's sous vide so it's

27:46

already arrives already done. Yep. And you

27:48

finish it off in a

27:50

hot oven basically. You could have that aren't you.

27:53

Yeah. So I

27:57

think that might be the direction of travel

27:59

for this Christmas actually is something I've

28:01

already ordered from them what you

28:04

ordered I'm taking crown yeah

28:08

I got a load of field and flour chicken

28:10

thighs out because I'm gonna do it curry

28:12

today in the slow cooker nice

28:15

mmm there's a lot of chicken thighs out the

28:17

kids having for heaters tonight but I'm not here

28:20

I'm I'm hosting Courtney

28:22

laws testimonial

28:25

dinner tonight up in

28:27

town packed packed house the list of

28:29

players going is ridiculous as you can

28:31

imagine and

28:34

you basically have a list

28:37

of all these players and they say flats

28:39

who would you like for a three-person Q&A

28:42

for a three-way and you can pick

28:44

any three of what your ultimate three-way thoughts no

28:47

well no but at this

28:49

event I said Danny cares there so Danny's

28:51

great Lewis Ludlam's there he's also great and

28:53

he's just like just

28:56

sound bloke really sound bloke and Matt Dawson

28:58

as well I thought I'll get up there

29:00

for a bit of opinion and yeah and

29:02

it's you know

29:05

I want to rub it in but it's nice to have one World Cup

29:07

winner up there in it me

29:09

and him anyway so

29:12

that that'll be nice and then I've

29:14

got an event on Friday with Graham

29:16

soonest Paul Merson Oh Stuart

29:19

broad and Ray parlor mate

29:21

how good is that

29:23

wrong for Pele wrong for

29:25

Pele yeah I want to do an event

29:28

with him in Ireland Brazil in the Goucher

29:30

and Carter so going to inform me

29:32

soon as Wow be

29:35

great yeah he'd be great and

29:37

I was with a

29:39

present I co-hosted an event called for

29:41

the lighthouse charity which is this the

29:43

construction industry yeah so just quickly this

29:46

is what as a window go sponsored

29:48

the Goucher lunch yeah

29:50

group in Wilkins Matty

29:53

Bennett works for him we raised

29:55

somebody for the lighthouse charity oh

29:57

what a mate yeah it's big raucous

30:00

but it's great. It's not 1000 builders,

30:02

but it's basically 1000 builders. And there'll

30:04

be guys from Bath like trades, like

30:06

tradesmen and small business and bigger business

30:08

owners construction and from Bath I walk

30:10

in and know people there because it's

30:12

a it's a big old deal and

30:15

co hosted that with Ellie Costello

30:17

who was very, very good and

30:19

among other guests there. Harry

30:21

Redknapp was there. And

30:23

you know, I've heard Harry Redknapp a few

30:26

times. I've been at those events, hosted those

30:28

events with him a few times, but there's

30:31

just there are some people that

30:34

get on the stage and it's like it's

30:36

just like Frank Bruno walking onto a

30:39

stage or Ricky Hatton or Alan Shearer.

30:41

It's just like they are just legends

30:43

and every day. No,

30:48

I'd like to. I'd like to do something with Roy

30:50

Keane. Yeah. Have you

30:52

seen Dynamo? It was on soccer

30:54

Saturday or yeah, the

30:56

Roy Keane bit. Oh, so good.

30:59

Yeah, but so he turns a

31:01

little bit of flash paper into an ice cube. Yeah.

31:04

And I've watched that. I record it on

31:06

my phone and I've slow mowed it. I'm

31:08

still trying to work out how

31:11

on earth he does it. But

31:14

that's not the best bit. The best bit is

31:16

Roy Keane's reaction. It is. Well, it's his job.

31:18

It's his job, isn't it? But

31:20

it's his job. Isn't he

31:22

amazing? He's the amazing magician, Roy. Well,

31:24

it's his job. So do you see

31:27

him smiling before he said it? Yeah,

31:30

he knew. Yeah, he's

31:32

because he's so good at it now. You see

31:34

him smiling more. It's like Sean Edwards. Sean

31:37

Edwards smiles. You think, whoa. Yeah,

31:39

you're right. But you are

31:41

right. So we've got a couple of

31:43

minutes left, Tommy. This weekend I'm doing

31:45

going to Bristol against

31:47

Leon on a

31:51

Saturday night and then a very early start

31:53

up to Manchester for the early kickoff for

31:55

sale against Stad from say, it

31:57

will be. Yeah, be great. What you

31:59

should do. so much because you do so much

32:01

you pundit are you presenting

32:03

are you first voice are you second

32:06

voice camera

32:09

back to you on that all

32:11

right no I am

32:13

I am doing

32:17

one of the big ones all right I'm doing the challenge cup

32:19

I'm doing Ospreys

32:21

versus Benetton yep

32:24

from the Liberty not Liberty

32:26

it's called the Swansea comm stadium now big

32:28

game because the Ospreys just lost a better

32:30

turn away we gained

32:33

yeah so a couple of big results from

32:36

the URC but tune in on it

32:38

to the URC podcast unloaded to find out about them

32:41

Edinburgh beat Ulster which was a big result yeah

32:44

good yeah yeah red

32:48

card to Ellis

32:50

Jenkins weekend which

32:52

meant justified speak harder um

32:57

yeah I think so didn't look just on

33:00

the Ellis Jenkins thing when he was I

33:02

thought he landed on top of his yeah

33:04

good job wasn't miked up this weekend yeah true

33:08

if I laugh or what ref when you

33:11

the mic'd up thing I really like I didn't really ever

33:13

think about it in rugby so I thought the mic could

33:15

just get knocked off but

33:18

it's funny because it's in the NFL mic'd up

33:20

bits are like they're extreme and they're laugh out

33:22

loud and they're amazing the rugby ones are like

33:24

good boy you're over that yeah you're doing really

33:26

well mate nice one and it's like he's obviously

33:28

a brilliant bloke and leader but

33:30

it's a different sort of mic'd up isn't

33:32

it's probably way more chilled than because you

33:35

know the best players you play with in

33:37

your career like we both played alongside some

33:39

real bona fide legends really

33:42

often they're the most relaxed people on the field

33:44

like you play rugby with Tim Horan like

33:47

you just chill bloke Martin Johnson

33:49

he talks to you like he's in a like he's in

33:51

your front room you're like mate everything all right

33:53

yeah what we're going to do is that and you think that's

33:56

actually the appeal in rugby isn't it not the

33:58

not the ura stuff It's brilliant. It

34:00

was really good. Really good insight into What

34:03

he is as a leader I thought and

34:05

yeah, how well he communicates with people especially

34:08

the youngsters They'll be the game management. Just

34:10

let them know. Yeah, really good So

34:13

yeah, I'm over there. I mean

34:15

I make enough rugby. Do you think yeah, that'll do

34:18

us That's we don't go over the top to it,

34:20

right you you like everyone you get you sleeping All

34:22

right, go to the gym for you boy and

34:24

cheer up. All right off to the gym for

34:26

you boy Go on our big time 110 kilos So

34:30

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