0:00

I'm OK. Mosey, what was that? Oh, it's OK. I'm

0:03

fine. I just knocked something over in the room with

0:05

all the buttons and wires. Understood.

0:08

What was it? It was just a small bump. I'm

0:10

good. Yes, I get

0:11

that part. But what's the big deal? I'm

0:13

OK. I'm OK. I'm OK. I'm

0:16

OK. I'm OK. I'm OK. I'm

0:19

OK. I'm OK.

0:20

I'm OK. I'm OK. I'm

0:23

OK. I'm OK. I'm

0:25

OK. I'm OK. I'm OK. I'm

0:28

OK.

0:51

OK,

0:59

what was that? It

1:00

said Life's Up. Life's Up? Uh-huh.

1:03

A Life's Up port? I

1:05

think so. Hm. Nah. Could

1:09

it have been Life Support?

1:12

That was it. Yeah. Warning.

1:15

Life Support System

1:16

power supply is offline. Please reconnect. Please

1:18

reconnect. That doesn't sound good. It

1:20

is not good. You must have disconnected the Life Support. It's not working.

1:22

It's not working. It's not working.

1:24

It's not working. It's not working.

1:27

It's not working. It's not working. What's

1:29

going on? Life Support System mosey, that's what allows

1:32

us to breathe and see on

1:34

this starship. We

1:37

need to plug that back in quickly.

1:40

On it! Well,

1:43

just as soon

1:44

as I clean this up! I'll

1:46

be right behind you. On

2:01

the nearest land, waiting

2:03

for a no-trust This

2:05

could only take three thousand

2:07

years To start we look around

2:11

And learn about this planet

2:13

from the creatures that we found

2:18

And we may see they always

2:21

tend And we

2:23

learn

2:24

from all the animals

2:26

how to be under them

2:33

How to be under them How

2:40

to be under here How

2:45

to be under them How

2:49

to be under them How

2:52

to be under them

3:17

That

3:25

was a close one Yeah,

3:27

they really should label those things more clearly,

3:30

you know The letters are so tiny Uh,

3:33

sure And it broke

3:35

so easily I mean, I only

3:37

ran into it twice Oh

3:40

wow It's not my fault Of

3:42

course not It was just an

3:44

accident, Mozy Exactly

3:47

These things happen all the time Well,

3:49

what's that supposed to mean? Nothing

3:52

Okay, so I'm a big alien And

3:54

this is a tiny star cruiser What are you

3:56

gonna do? You don't need to do anything

3:59

Mozy

3:59

It is fine!

4:01

Well, you may say

4:03

it's fine, Flip, but your eyes

4:06

say it's not. Which

4:09

ones? All of them, but

4:11

mostly the three on your left and that little pink

4:13

one that never really shuts all the way.

4:16

Mozy, I am not

4:18

upset. But it is clear

4:21

that you are. Would you like to

4:23

talk about it? Or, if

4:25

necessary, we could schedule a

4:27

hug at

4:28

some point this afternoon. Maybe

4:31

between my workout and my data terminal update

4:33

at 0400. No! No!

4:36

It's okay. I don't want to talk

4:38

about it.

4:40

Are you certain, Mozy?

4:42

Because-

4:43

I think I'd rather just

4:46

be alone and sing a sad,

4:48

quiet song to myself about

4:51

how out of place I feel. Oh,

4:53

Mozy, I am sorry

4:56

you didn't start with me. I'm

4:58

not that great.

5:01

Oh, I'm here to

5:04

speak another language. Great!

5:08

Okay, Mozy, it's safe to say

5:11

hello now. I'm just so... Great!

5:21

I love you! I

5:25

love you! It's

5:28

not just that I don't feel alone.

5:31

It's not just that I don't feel alone.

5:38

It's not

5:40

just that I don't feel

5:42

alone.

5:45

It's not just that I don't

5:48

feel alone.

5:55

I don't feel alone. Ahhhahahahaha...

6:15

but nation

6:18

I used

6:23

to to free

6:28

and I

6:32

I I I

6:38

understand that you are currently experiencing

6:40

many

6:42

feelings. I don't.

6:45

I promise myself I would cry. Well

6:50

crying is sometimes a good thing, Mozy.

6:53

But, uh, um,

6:56

but perhaps a trip to Earth would

6:58

help take your mind off things? What?

7:02

Work? Now? That's

7:04

what's going to help?

7:06

Really flip? Yes,

7:07

really. Intergalactic

7:10

mental health care protocols

7:11

suggest that sometimes a change

7:13

in

7:13

venue or routine can be beneficial

7:15

in situations like this.

7:17

Oh, well, I guess it can't

7:20

hurt. It would be good to get out

7:22

of this spaceship for a while and stretch

7:24

my tentacles. Besides,

7:27

we have a show to produce. Oh,

7:29

right. So, where are we

7:31

going? One of your favorite

7:34

places on Earth? The

7:36

car wash? Uh,

7:39

no, your other favorite place,

7:41

Florida. Oh, right.

7:45

The pointy part near the bottom right corner

7:47

of North America. Yes,

7:50

very good, Mozy. Your

7:52

knowledge of geography is improving. I

7:55

know, right? Also, you

7:58

left it up on the screen there. Oh,

8:00

uh, well, um... Nah,

8:03

I'm still going to consider that a win.

8:06

Fair enough.

8:07

To the space dinghy! You

8:10

know, I'm feeling a little better

8:12

already, Flip. Maybe I just need

8:14

to... Oh! Uh,

8:17

let's just clean that up when we get

8:20

back, okay? Good

8:22

call.

8:26

Flip and Mosey will be right

8:29

back. Grownups, this message is for

8:31

you. Hey,

8:33

Grownups, it's Guy Raz here, and school

8:36

is back in session, and so is Tinkerclass,

8:39

our new project-based

8:42

podcast platform that brings wow

8:44

into the classroom. We've

8:47

also got our two once-in-a-wow-themed

8:49

cahoots. You can

8:51

find tons of suggestions at Tinkercast.com

8:54

back-to-school. Just

8:57

visit Tinkercast.com

8:58

back-to-school and

9:00

then share the wow

9:01

with the teachers in your world. Here's

9:05

to a great school year, and now let's

9:07

get back to the show.

9:11

That's it. Back to Earth. Ah!

9:30

Oh! You know, I love the

9:33

way our door opens with that whoosh sound. Don't

9:35

you, Flip? Yes, it is

9:37

very pleasing, Mosey.

9:40

But tell me again why

9:41

we didn't just teleport here. Well,

9:44

as I explained previously,

9:45

the antimatter

9:48

destabilizer in the Roswell 5000 can't be coupled

9:50

with the Critonium Tesseract Particle Simulator

9:53

or the, uh, the... Uh,

9:57

hmm. Go on. I'm listening.

11:59

your way? Oh

12:01

no, I got plenty of seagrass

12:03

to eat down here. You

12:05

look strange. Oh, no,

12:08

I'm having kind of an off day. No,

12:11

I mean you don't look like any creature I've ever

12:13

seen before, in the water or out

12:15

of it. Oh, well, you know, I'm

12:17

from another planet. I'm what you

12:19

would call an extraterrestrial.

12:22

Ah, that would explain it. What about

12:24

you? Me?

12:26

Oh,

12:27

I'm originally from Hernando Beach, but I

12:29

get up here from time to time to visit my cousins.

12:31

No, I mean, what are

12:33

you?

12:34

Oh, I'm a manatee. Wait,

12:37

what?

12:37

Really?

12:39

Pretty sure. But Flip

12:41

said you were a mammal. Marine

12:44

mammal. Well, don't you need air to

12:46

breathe? Sure, I

12:48

go up to get a breath maybe every five minutes

12:50

or so, more often if I'm swimming,

12:52

less if I'm taking

12:53

a power nap. Hey Flip, come

12:55

down here. I want you to meet somebody.

12:58

I'll be there to stop the mercy. I am

13:00

very nearly finished. We

13:02

have some room to come in the

13:04

bed. Wow, you are so

13:07

big. You

13:10

should see my cousins. I wish I

13:12

was as big

13:12

as them. I always considered myself

13:14

to be average, about 10 feet long, 950

13:17

pounds or 470

13:17

kilograms,

13:20

give or take. Well, that's big to me,

13:22

but you move so gracefully.

13:25

Wow, thanks. That's nice of you

13:27

to say. I think a lot of it is just being

13:29

in water, you know. It's amazing how

13:32

well you can move with two good flippers and a paddle-shaped

13:34

tail.

13:36

Wow, look at that.

13:38

I'm so pretty. Okay, Mozy,

13:41

we are back in business. The

13:44

tracker is working and it is good

13:46

that we are already underwater because... Uh,

13:49

Flip, there's somebody I want

13:51

you to... Uh-huh, we are close

13:53

Mozy. Right, but

13:55

Flip... According to the marker on

13:57

the screen, there should be... Hey,

14:00

Manatee, right... here. Hello

14:04

there. Buh-buh-buh-buh-buh! That's what I was

14:06

trying to tell you, Flip! I've already met

14:08

Manatee. This is... oh, um...

14:11

you know, I never got your name. Just call

14:13

me T. T? Well,

14:15

Manny was taken by my older brother. Manny?

14:19

T? Oh, ha ha ha! Oh,

14:21

wait! I get it! Ah! Greetings,

14:24

T. Apologies for my

14:26

startled behavior.

14:28

I am Flip, and this is Mozy,

14:30

and we are... This is from another galaxy. I

14:33

know.

14:34

So much for our

14:36

cover story. Your friend

14:38

here seems really interested in Manatees.

14:40

Oh, I am! Look how

14:42

big and graceful she is, Flip!

14:45

We are both

14:45

interested, Miss

14:47

T. Um... let's take

14:49

it. Let's call me T. Great!

14:51

T! We

14:53

are intergalactic travel writers, and we would

14:55

love to learn more about Manatee for

14:57

our program. Oh, well

14:59

then. Let me spell

15:01

it out for you. Okay. Hey! Way

15:04

back in... ...the day before... I

15:10

saw real earth. Wait,

15:13

how about Manatee for real earth? But

15:16

it was just a Manatee. Oh!

15:19

When the moon showed up and glowed. No,

15:23

but I ever believed... Oh, you're

15:25

a mermaid! Damn it! ...in

15:28

the nature of Manatee. A

15:33

manatee. Wow!

15:36

A manatee. Oh,

15:38

hello! Oh,

15:41

man! Tell me about

15:43

Manatee. Sure. I

15:45

was a manatee. Okay!

15:48

He's a manatee. A

15:53

manatee of honesty. Oh,

15:56

oh, I believe... Anything

16:00

else for you? I'm gonna put

16:03

my breath on my bed. I'm gonna

16:05

take you home. I'm gonna take

16:07

you home. I'm gonna take you home.

16:10

I'm gonna take you home. I'll eat you

16:12

baby. Oh

16:14

my. I

16:17

know my spirit is in place. But

16:20

I don't see any color. I'm

16:23

covered in hair. Caught by

16:25

the night. I will fall.

16:31

Oh my. So,

16:33

baby. How big.

16:36

That I'm about to stand. I

16:39

want you with you. I'm

16:41

feeling. I'm

16:43

feeling happy. I'm

16:46

feeling happy. I'm feeling

16:49

happy. I'm

16:55

feeling. Oh my. I'm

16:59

feeling. I'm feeling. I'm

17:02

feeling. Oh

17:06

baby. Oh baby. Me.

17:11

Oh no. Whatever.

17:14

How good. How ridiculous. How.

17:17

How. How. How. How.

17:21

How. How. How.

17:24

How. That's when a groomer's

17:26

head over the tongue. She'll

17:28

make me go flat. I love that movie.

17:31

Me too. Ugh,

17:32

never mind.

17:34

What an amazing earthling.

17:37

But you don't breathe water like fish

17:39

do. Why don't you live on land? Hm.

17:43

That's an interesting question. Probably

17:45

the fins instead of legs thing. It's

17:47

hard to get around up there with these things. Well

17:50

I just mean that it seems strange for mammals to

17:52

live in the water when they breathe air. Mozy,

17:55

there are many

17:56

earthling mammals who live in the water but

17:58

breathe air. Whales? Golf-ins,

18:01

porpoises...

18:02

But don't you ever feel out of place? Nah,

18:05

I'm right where I need to be. You don't

18:07

ever wish you were different? Hmm...

18:11

Maybe the next thing. The next

18:13

thing? Monoties do not have

18:15

necks, Mozy. Or, more

18:17

accurately, they do not have neck vertebrae

18:20

like many other earthlings do. It

18:22

would be so much easier to look around

18:24

at stuff if I didn't have to move my whole

18:27

body, you know? I don't have a neck

18:29

either. At least I don't think I do.

18:32

You

18:32

don't. But I know how lucky I am.

18:34

I got all the seagrass I need

18:36

right here. And if I need to, I can

18:38

get out of here in a

18:39

hurry. Are you a fast swimmer,

18:41

Ms. T? Uh, Ms. Manatee?

18:43

Uh, T?

18:45

Oh yeah, I don't like to brag, but one

18:47

time I was clocked during almost 15 miles

18:49

per hour. Um, I'm

18:51

pretty sure that isn't fast. Well,

18:55

that's faster than many two-legged

18:57

earthlings can run. Well,

18:59

of course it is, Flip. They only have two

19:01

legs. I mean, we should set the bar a little

19:03

higher. Most of the time I just cruise

19:05

a lot slower.

19:07

Manatees aren't known for their speed. That may

19:10

explain why you have barnacles growing

19:13

on your back. Yeah, but also

19:15

I like the

19:15

way they look on me. Ooh, I totally

19:17

agree. Barnacles are the bling

19:20

of the ocean. It's a vibe. And

19:22

manatees are agile. We may not swim

19:24

fast, but we are graceful and

19:26

quick. We can turn around and spin really

19:29

well. Check this

19:29

out. I can swim upside

19:32

down. Wow! I can

19:34

do a barrel roll. Amazing! If

19:38

I had hands, I would be so clapping

19:40

them right now. I

19:41

can even do a somersault. Like this,

19:43

watch.

19:44

Uh! Oh!

19:47

Bruno, are

19:48

you okay, Ms. Manatee?

19:50

What was that? That

19:54

was a boat, and I'm fine. Lost

19:56

a couple of barnacles, though.

19:58

I wish I could say that was the first time.

19:59

that happened. Oh no! Poor

20:02

Barnacle! Yeah, two-legged

20:05

screen watchers like to ride on top of the water in

20:07

these things called boats. Since

20:09

we're big and not that fast,

20:11

manatees get bumped. That

20:13

seems rude and inconsiderate.

20:15

Well, to be fair, it can

20:18

be hard to see us. You know, T,

20:20

I feel like you and I have a lot in common.

20:23

You're big, you bump into stuff,

20:25

and you accessorize really well.

20:29

Well, do you ever wonder if maybe you

20:31

don't belong here? No! Exactly!

20:34

Because I- wait, what? Did you

20:36

say no? No, I

20:38

never wonder that. I'm exactly where I

20:40

should be. I'm a manatee in a canal eating

20:43

seagrass, talking to aliens from outer space.

20:45

What's out of place about that? Uh,

20:47

you did leave out the part about the boats.

20:50

Well, you can't spend too much time thinking about that

20:52

stuff. I never

20:54

need

20:56

to be. You

20:59

know I never need

21:01

to be.

21:03

That's right, I said it, and

21:06

I don't regret it. In

21:08

the sense that it's in feasibility.

21:12

You know

21:14

I would say admittedly, I

21:17

wasn't always good at it.

21:19

It's not your positivity.

21:21

But, oh, it isn't perfect. My

21:24

body is working, and

21:25

it is a certain

21:28

that I can feel my dignity. But, it's

21:30

not always me. But,

21:33

I know I'm well meant to be. And it's

21:35

all always been long. Because

21:37

I've made it all my way from the back

21:40

of the bow. The

21:43

mouth of your sister, all

21:45

the things

21:45

are wrong. All the

21:48

things are the same, all the things you've done.

21:51

And I'm like, wow,

21:53

it'll make you feel more proud.

22:30

Oh, heads up everybody!

22:37

Or, more accurately,

22:40

heads down! Oh,

22:45

I got this! Hey, you can't! Get

22:47

off of my seagrass! Watch

22:49

what you do when I'm swimming here! I'm

22:52

sorry, Cliff. I

22:55

couldn't help

22:55

myself.

22:57

Did

22:59

you see that?

23:00

I think we did

23:02

a great job.

23:03

I believe this would

23:05

be the ideal

23:06

time for us to return to our

23:09

ship. Yeah, you never know

23:11

with boats. They could be back. It was

23:13

an honor to meet you, T. A pleasure

23:16

meeting you both. Thank you for

23:18

everything. And I'm not kidding about the barnacles.

23:21

They look fabulous. And I

23:23

love the algae too. Brings

23:26

out your ride. Oh, thanks.

23:28

Okay, Moosie. Let's get back

23:30

to the space thingy.

23:37

Well, that was certainly

23:39

an adventure. Yes, it was.

23:41

I think manatees

23:44

are some of my favorite earth creatures. They are incredible.

23:47

They eat more than a

23:49

tenth of their weight every day. That's

23:51

a lot of snacks. And

23:55

because their diet is mostly seagrass

23:57

and plant

23:57

life, they are a good indicator.

23:59

of the health of their environment.

24:02

A happy manatee means a healthy

24:04

ecosystem.

24:05

That's correct.

24:07

But manatees could actually

24:10

become endangered again if pollution

24:13

from two-legged earthlings continues

24:15

to damage

24:15

their habitats. And boats.

24:18

They gotta watch out for boats.

24:20

This is true, Mozy. Accidents

24:23

happen frequently.

24:25

For manatees and

24:27

life forms like us, we

24:29

must all work on finding ways

24:31

to cope with them as well

24:34

as finding ways to prevent them.

24:35

Exactly, Flip. Take me,

24:38

for example. Just because I knocked

24:40

some stuff over, it doesn't mean I have to spend

24:42

a whole day worrying about being too big

24:44

or too clumsy, right? Affirmative.

24:47

And I don't necessarily have to be

24:49

the one who cleans up the mess if I

24:51

have an accident. Uh,

24:54

well, I'm not sure that

24:56

is accurate. Well, I mean, like,

24:59

if I dropped a bottle of fizzy sauce

25:01

and it spilled in your sleep pod, it's

25:03

just an accident, right? What? And,

25:06

well, we need to find the right way to cope with

25:08

the accident, so maybe you

25:11

should clean up the sleep pod while I go and

25:13

find some snacks for the... No, Jake!

25:15

Okay, fine. I'll get the bucket and the mop.

25:18

Thank you. And the detergent and

25:21

the stain remover. Good. And

25:23

some new sheets. Oh, and maybe some paint.

25:25

Oh, and a fire extinguisher.

25:26

How much fizzy sauce did

25:29

you spill?

25:30

Oh, no. Oh,

25:34

and, Mozy.

25:59

by completing a short survey

26:02

at Wondery.com's last

26:04

survey. Well

26:07

thank you Earthlings for joining us for this

26:09

guide to how to be an Earthling.

26:12

We hope we helped you discover something

26:14

new about your incredible home

26:16

planet. And if there's one thing we've discovered

26:19

is that your planet is big.

26:21

You got land, sky, and ocean. That

26:24

is way too much for any two intergalactic

26:26

travel

26:26

guides to cover on our own.

26:29

So that is where you come in. We

26:31

need your help.

26:32

We can't do this on our own. I

26:35

need me time. What

26:36

Fluzzy is trying to say is that

26:38

we need your contributions to our Earth

26:41

guide. If you happen to notice or learn

26:43

something interesting or unusual about

26:45

an Earthling species on your planet, please

26:48

share it with us. You

26:50

can call us on the Selly Telly Ring-a-Ding-Dingy

26:52

at 1-833-4-FLIPMO. That's

26:57

1-833-4-FLIPMO.

26:57

Write

27:00

that down. Your field reports may

27:02

be used on an upcoming Earthling's travel

27:05

club. That's

27:05

1-833-4-FLIPMO. Just

27:08

like

27:08

our name. Flip and Mozy's guide

27:10

to how to be an Earthling is a pinky

27:12

cast or original production. And

27:15

all of the

27:15

original songs you heard in this episode

27:17

were written and arranged by Jason

27:19

Mabinowitz and the Pop-Up.

27:21

How to be an Earthling is written by Kenny

27:23

Curtis and Thomas Van Calken. Written

27:26

by, what does that mean? That means to

27:28

put the words in our mouth, Mozy. Oh,

27:31

OK.

27:31

Our masterminds

27:33

of original sound design are Jason

27:36

Mabinowitz, Ed Rosenberg

27:38

III, with help from our senior

27:40

production director, Jed Anderson.

27:42

And Ed Rosenberg III provides

27:44

the magnificent score.

27:46

Our show is edited by Jacob Stein

27:48

with additional production assistance from Henry

27:51

Moskle.

27:51

Our executive producers are Guy

27:53

Ross, Mindy Thomas, and Meredith

27:56

Halpern-Ranzer.

27:56

A tip of the tentacles to the

27:58

rest of the Tinkercast team.

27:59

including Chet Anderson, Stephanie Sosa,

28:02

Henry Moskow, Jessica Bode, Natasha

28:04

Crandall, Anna Zagorski, and Ruth

28:07

Morrison!

28:07

And special thanks to the actors

28:10

you

28:10

heard in this episode, including...

28:13

Eliza Jabalhadi. And our

28:15

Earthling alter egos, Courtney

28:18

Shaw...

28:19

And David Ryan Smith! I

28:21

ate him, and his voice comes through me. Grown-up

28:23

Earthlings, you can follow us online

28:26

at EarthlingPod. Our email address

28:29

is hello at Tinkercast.com.

28:31

And finally, thanks to

28:33

you for listening! Without you

28:36

and your planet, we'd probably be in

28:38

some remote galaxy, screaming into the

28:40

void of a black hole! But

28:42

now we're screaming in your ears! Ha!

28:44

And might I say, those are very oddly shaped

28:46

appendages. Mozi! Until

28:49

next time!

28:50

Poptulaaaaaaaang!

28:53

Yeah! Welcome, Mozi's

28:56

Guide to How to Be an Earthling, was made

28:58

by Tinkercast, and sent to you by

29:00

Wondry.