Unpacking the Hidden Realities of Restrictive Eating Disorders

As someone who survived her own restrictive anorexia for over four gruelling decades, I feel called to bring more nuanced awareness regarding these complex illnesses plaguing so many in silence behind closed doors. In a recent illuminating podcast episode, my dear friend and fellow eating disorder recovery coach Victoria joined me in pulling back the curtain on some of our biggest struggles throughout the journey back into wholeness. 

While eating disorders manifest uniquely for everyone, Victoria and I both battled life-threatening restriction, exercise addiction, body dysmorphia, and laxative abuse. We transparently explored the excruciating physical and emotional consequences wrought from these compulsive behaviours. However, we also spotlit how desperation to cling onto ineffective coping mechanisms can breed volatility like vindictiveness, deception, and outright cruelty towards loved ones. When disorders dictate entire lives, sufferers often grapple with resentment, profound isolation, and internal fragmentation few outsiders could conceptualise.

Victoria revealed that at the height of her anorexia as a teenager, she once screamed “I hate you!” directly into her mother’s face - when her mom represented the sole person trying to save her life by pushing nourishment. I related to interacting coldly and irritably with my husband and children who worried for me as I saw them as threats to my rituals. Over years devoid of emotional outlets or true intimacy, toxic behaviours became entanglements impossible to simply abandon overnight without support. So we remained trapped.

However, Victoria and I excitedly shared about our resilience journeys reclaiming freedom. We discussed how pivotal addressing the root wounds driving disorders proved for finally dismantling harmful thought patterns. As we courageously held space to process suppressed grief and trauma from our pasts with professional help, we ultimately made friends with the parts of ourselves we’d rejected when they desperately needed nurturing. While we will always regret instances where we lashed out when unwell, we now know our spirits remained underneath waiting for us all along.

Our shared message is one of amazing hope despite hardships. Full recovery is possible for ANYONE courageous enough to rip off bandaids and walk through the shadows. We all contain more inner wisdom, strength and beauty than eating disorders can possibly obscure. But to resurrect that sacred wholeness, we must compassionately excavate what mental illness hides and gently call it into light. Today, Victoria and I feel more purpose serving others through outreach than smaller clothes sizes could ever grant us. Our wish moving forward remains simply for anyone still suffocating silently in darkness to feel brave enough to reach for the help that set us free. Your radiant soul longs for you beyond the disorder now only waiting to exhale again.

Connect with Victoria

https://www.instagram.com/victoriakleinsmanofficial?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=ZDNlZDc0MzIxNw==

https://victoriakleinsman.com/

 [email protected]

Connect with me 

Website Juliatrehane.com

Email [email protected]

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/juliatrehane?igsh=MTZ1

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