0:01

I'm so thankful to the Lord for that, that

0:03

I heard that message that night and it just really gripped

0:06

my heart. Roxanne works

0:08

second shift, which meant getting home

0:10

late every night. But one evening

0:12

was different. Instead of her favorite

0:14

rock station, she found focus on

0:16

the family on the radio. I

0:19

didn't find out until sometime later that I actually,

0:21

you know, got saved or born again or, you

0:23

know, gave my heart to the Lord that night.

0:25

I just knew that I prayed the prayer at

0:27

the end. So I just,

0:29

you know, was probably by that time, almost 1230, it

0:31

would take me about half of an hour to drive

0:33

home and just driving in my

0:36

car, crying and filled with peace

0:38

and joy and, and just feeling the presence of

0:40

the Lord. It was wonderful. I'm Jim

0:42

Daly. Working together, we

0:44

can save more families like

0:47

Roxanne's every month. Become a

0:49

friend of Focus on the

0:51

Family and invest in this

0:54

ministry. Call 800-A-FAMILY or donate

0:56

at focusonthefamily.com/ family. There's

1:05

a good practice that every couple can

1:07

benefit from, or most couples, I should

1:09

say, and that is remembering how you

1:12

and your spouse met and fell in

1:14

love. What was that season

1:16

like? What were the feelings like back then? I'm

1:18

John Fuller, joined by my Focus colleagues,

1:20

Greg and Erin Smalley. And Greg, for

1:23

those who haven't heard, why don't you just give us

1:26

a nutshell of how you met and then fell in

1:28

love with Erin? Or did you meet and fall in

1:30

love? It

1:32

was an arranged marriage. So first time I

1:34

saw her was on our wedding day. We

1:38

were actually great friends all through college.

1:41

Erin dated my roommate for a number of

1:43

years, and so I just got to know

1:45

her over time. We

1:47

had jobs together. We

1:50

were camp counselors during the summer.

1:53

And yet, I just think God

1:55

protected us. We just never dated.

1:57

She was dating my roommate. some

2:00

other guy or I was dating some

2:02

other girl. And so we

2:04

just never dated during college and we

2:07

both graduated. And then

2:09

my dad and his writing

2:12

partner, John Trent, so they

2:14

wrote a whole bunch of books together, were

2:17

speaking on a cruise. And

2:19

so John had just had his

2:22

youngest daughter and they

2:24

just needed someone to come along and

2:26

kind of nanny for them. And

2:29

he'd talk to my mom going, do you

2:31

know of anybody? And my mom went, well,

2:33

hey, I know a recent nursing graduate, she'd

2:36

be perfect. And so I didn't

2:39

know she was coming along. And so in the

2:41

hotel, kind of you stay the night before a

2:43

cruise in a hotel and get on the boat

2:45

the next day. So as I'm walking through the

2:47

lobby, I spot Aaron

2:49

from a distance. I'm like, Aaron

2:51

Murphy, what are you doing here?

2:54

And so we

2:56

ended up on this, what we now

2:59

affectionately refer to as the love boat. The

3:01

love boat, yeah. Because it was me and a whole

3:03

bunch of other older people. And

3:05

so the odds were ever in my

3:07

favor for wooing her. And

3:09

we just hung out. And so she would nanny

3:12

during the day. And then at night, we just

3:14

would go and hang out and talk. And all

3:16

of a sudden we just started realizing, whoa, hey,

3:19

there's something here. And we started dating kind

3:21

of after that. And you're smiling,

3:23

I appreciate that. It's fun to look back. It

3:26

is, yeah, that's the point. So let's

3:28

go ahead and hear a conversation that Jim Daley and

3:30

I had with Lisa Jacobson and her husband

3:32

Matt, who have a funny and

3:34

rather awkward story of how they met. Lisa

3:37

and Matt, welcome back to Focus. Good to

3:39

have you. It's great to be back again.

3:41

Yeah, it's so fun. Let's

3:43

get right to it. You had an

3:45

amazing love story. A

3:48

lengthy engagement. So I really

3:50

love this. You guys

3:52

kind of knew right away where you're

3:55

going to describe how love became real

3:57

to you as you went

3:59

along. Well,

4:02

I suppose most people don't know that.

4:04

We decided yet married in about six

4:06

days for God Created the synthetic. Snyder

4:08

said I was Atlanta and he wanted

4:10

to be sceptical about another. A sad

4:12

thought about it that way less at

4:14

a is fast. We. Met on a Friday

4:16

nights and I knew that was a man I

4:18

was going to marry. I can't explain out, I

4:20

just knew in my heart my thought I did

4:22

something. I'm really looking forward to getting know him

4:24

because I knew that was Who is that America?

4:26

It took him longer. Though it took him

4:28

a few more days before he three days

4:31

three that we're we're slavery and read a

4:33

country that was redacted together and by six

4:35

days we were talking marriage. Wow, so it

4:37

was a. And. It just seemed

4:39

very natural the time because it means don't you like

4:42

of yeah, we're gonna get married. Yep, And

4:44

so how does it? yeah there's a process to

4:46

those as usual and from the score one day

4:48

know when he therein lies. I don't know if

4:51

we have third time for the whole story but

4:53

my assistance i used to work out in publishing

4:55

a my says he came to me when did

4:57

said would you be willing to take my friend

5:00

who's her picture and is no absolutely absolutely nuts

5:02

and at so she called she's living in Southern

5:04

California at a time when she said take your

5:06

friend what does she mean by that will add

5:08

extra hours and I see take the state it

5:11

would you be willing to date my friend oh

5:13

I'd heard take. But that guy state as

5:15

far better dresses. Take

5:18

a sec or of my hands my friend is

5:20

drive me nuts. The average yeah it wasn't till

5:22

after we were married the used to take me.

5:25

Know when a way out of that

5:27

about myself? But anyway, south so I

5:29

said sure. And so she walked into

5:31

my office in about a week after

5:33

that. And all this

5:36

happened behind his. I didn't know. That.

5:38

She had called Lisa. Turns out Lisa was coming

5:40

up to visit and had some other things your

5:42

think of is involved in a wedding and so

5:44

I said I had said sure she knocks on

5:46

my door my it's it's a nice I'm interested.

5:48

You know that grow up selling about Cydia. she

5:51

said well see setting right outside your

5:53

door and i was thinking you could

5:55

take her to launch while denying woman

5:57

was the matchmaker and i said That's

6:00

not gonna happen. Oh wow. She

6:02

goes what? This is our first meeting. She said what?

6:05

I said I'm not gonna be, what? She's

6:08

here now? I said sorry, you're taking her

6:10

to lunch, not me. So that,

6:13

she said well would you at least come out and meet her? So

6:15

I said sure I'll come out. And I was really polite. Is

6:18

that kinda attitude? I was really polite. He was

6:20

so rude. He was so rude. He was so

6:22

rude. I can't help him. Wow. And

6:25

you knew right then he's the man you wanted

6:27

to marry. No, no. That's what I said. There's

6:29

a little backstory here. Yeah, okay. Took

6:31

a little bit of time. So no, I said if he was the last man

6:33

on earth, I wouldn't go out with this guy. So

6:35

but I mean. I came out and shook your hand. Come on. Oh

6:38

he was, and he pointed his, oh I'm kinda busy right now. And

6:40

stood me up right there in the lobby. It was awful. It really

6:42

was awful. However. But when I was walking

6:44

away, I said to myself, you know I think I

6:46

might have done that too fast. Yeah, you did. I

6:48

did say that. I think I might have done that

6:50

too fast. So you said that out loud to myself.

6:53

No, I was like. See that would have been all

6:55

the different. We didn't do that. That's right. Wow.

6:58

Actually a whole year went by. Eight months. Okay,

7:00

good. So that was the kickoff to this

7:02

wonderful situation. And then you met again. And

7:05

in that time though, I just feel like. She

7:07

went out and bought a wedding dress. But.

7:11

What I felt like God impressed upon me. And this is for the

7:13

singles or people that are, you know I was a little bit

7:15

older. I was almost 27. I

7:18

really was impressed upon me that I had

7:20

written my love story in my mind. And

7:23

God just showed me. He said, you need to

7:25

let me write your love story. And

7:27

you have an open hand. And that was really

7:29

a very turning point for me to

7:31

realize, you know what? I need to be just

7:33

open to what God has. You know, Lisa,

7:35

you're tapping on something that's so important.

7:38

It's all those expectations we create about

7:40

everything. And man, I

7:42

have just found in life when, having

7:45

low expectations, I'm not talking about certain

7:47

things like job performance and things like

7:50

that. And you know, things

7:52

where performance standards need to be there.

7:54

But just as your life unfolds, those

7:56

expectations can be crippling. If you think

7:59

it's gotta go. certain way and

8:01

the Lord's saying, wow, it's not going to go that way.

8:04

And really, in so many ways, it continues on even

8:06

through your marriage because, you know, if you write the

8:08

script for how this is going to work, you'll be

8:10

disappointed probably at some point or another, maybe

8:12

often. Yeah. And being able

8:15

to say, you know what, I'm going to be open

8:17

to what God is going to write. Well,

8:22

Aaron, there's something that Lisa said about letting

8:24

God write your love story. And

8:27

so there are singles who are feeling

8:29

like God's not writing any love story

8:31

for me. It's just

8:33

not going to happen. How do you encourage patience and

8:35

hope in God for those who are

8:37

still waiting? That's so hard. And

8:40

I hate because I have a dear,

8:42

dear friend who is in her mid-40s

8:44

and she's waiting for a

8:46

spouse. I've walked this with her

8:48

and I just always encourage her, you know, never

8:50

be afraid to say I do want to have

8:52

a spouse someday. And to put

8:54

that out there so people, when they hear that, they're

8:57

like, oh, I know someone, maybe we could set you

8:59

up or whatever if they're open to that. But keep

9:01

praying, keep praying with hope, knowing

9:03

that we have a God who hears and

9:05

who listens. Put yourself

9:08

in situations like church

9:10

groups or faith communities that,

9:12

you know, that you're around others that

9:15

are in your season of life, other

9:17

singles and singles in,

9:19

you know, the opposite sex too.

9:23

Don't make fear-based decisions and,

9:25

you know, take care of you and continue

9:28

growing as you're waiting. Become

9:31

whatever spouse you're looking for, become that. And

9:34

I just want to encourage those that are

9:36

waiting, wait with hope. Yeah. Yeah.

9:40

Well, we talked about remembering how you met and fell in

9:42

love earlier in the show when you heard the great story

9:44

from Matt and Lisa. Our marriage team

9:46

is constantly posting new content to help you

9:48

and your spouse grow and to thrive in

9:50

Christ. There's a free online

9:52

article we have called Improve Your Marriage through

9:55

Thankfulness. It's a great habit. It's a great

9:57

little article that you can find. when you

9:59

go to the show notes. We'll link it

10:01

right there. Also, we've bundled

10:03

a couple of books that Matt and Lisa

10:05

have written together, and for a

10:08

donation of any amount, we'll send you the

10:10

Loving Your Husband and Loving Your Wife Well

10:12

bundle. This is an excellent set

10:14

of companion books that you and your spouse can

10:16

read, and we'll have the

10:19

link for that bundle in the show

10:21

notes. Donate generously as you can to

10:23

help the ministry of Focus on the

10:25

Family help us to encourage marriages literally

10:27

worldwide through our website, through events, through

10:29

videos, through audio and podcasts like

10:32

this. Donate today. We'll

10:34

send that bundle to you. The details are

10:36

in the show notes. Next

10:38

time, we'll hear about spouses who

10:40

have differing sexual desires, and

10:43

for now, on behalf of Greg and Aaron

10:45

Smalley and our entire team, thanks for listening

10:47

to the Focus on the Family marriage podcast.

10:54

Is your marriage holding on by a

10:57

thread for deep her? You need deep

10:59

healing that only comes from the Lord

11:01

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11:03

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