0:03

As my six children have grown, it's

0:05

been a joy to watch a number of them

0:08

serve others. They give. They're people

0:10

people and they give to others.

0:13

That just brings a joy to my heart. I'm

0:15

John Fuller with Dr. Danny Huerta, who heads up

0:17

our parenting team. Danny, what does it mean

0:19

to you to see one of

0:22

your kids doing something for someone else? To

0:24

be people people? Yeah. Right.

0:27

I love that, John. As opposed to what? The

0:30

most impactful has been to watch my son do

0:32

his own mowing business.

0:35

And the way he's treated the customers in a

0:37

way that is very loving, they're not just customers.

0:40

He has purchased some

0:43

extra things for their lawn to make

0:45

it even better. And

0:47

I've heard him say, hey, I want to buy this. And

0:50

I'm just going to put it on their

0:52

lawn as an extra thing to make it

0:54

even better for them where he's serving without

0:56

them even knowing to make it even better

0:59

for them. They're purchasing his service. They're

1:01

purchasing the fertilizing and all that.

1:04

And they're trusting him with that. And within

1:06

that trust, he sees such

1:08

an opportunity to serve them and to make

1:10

it the best lawn possible. And

1:12

so he's loved doing that. He goes, I want

1:14

to buy this. I can't wait to put this

1:16

on their lawn. And he has followed through on

1:18

that and has developed some great relationships with each of,

1:21

not all of them, but each of it. Most

1:23

of the customers that he's got. He's super serving

1:25

them. And so I've loved seeing that in him.

1:28

For me, that's been an

1:30

example that I want to follow in

1:33

him because it did challenge me.

1:36

Do I serve like that where I want to surprise

1:38

without them even knowing they're being surprised? But I

1:41

just want to bring the very, very best. And

1:43

I would love to think that my heart is

1:45

like that all the time. The

1:47

reality, John, it's not always there. So it's good

1:49

reminders from our kids. Well, I appreciate that. And

1:52

we're going to hear now from a conversation

1:54

in which Focus President Jim Daley talked with

1:57

Dr. Randy Schrader. They addressed

1:59

this virtue of service. service in your kids.

2:03

You speak to the issue of

2:05

having a servant's attitude. That's

2:08

wonderful. You expressly talked about how

2:10

Jesus had that servant attitude. Describe

2:13

that and why it's important and how

2:15

we can help teach our kids to

2:17

have a servant attitude. Yes

2:19

sir, I'm glad you brought that up because yeah,

2:22

what does it say? Jesus came not to

2:24

be served. What does the Bible say? Jesus

2:26

came not to be served but to serve.

2:29

And likewise, it's so important for the

2:31

three of us and every Christian to

2:33

have a servant heart and want to

2:35

serve and help others. And

2:37

that can happen often with

2:39

a parent's help. It's a child kind

2:41

of working with a parent, whether it's,

2:43

you know, if a neighbor's sick, helping

2:45

take a meal over to the house,

2:47

okay, making donations to a charity, making

2:50

treats for the firefighters at the firehouse,

2:53

writing a thank-you note to the police officers

2:56

that are helping, maybe

2:58

shoveling the elderly neighbor's

3:00

driveway next door. So kids

3:03

developing that servant heart gives

3:05

them that compassion and humility

3:07

that Jesus had in that

3:09

servant-like spirit. And I think

3:11

another way to develop

3:14

that servant heart is through prayer. Whenever

3:16

we know of

3:19

a situation like the

3:21

Ukraine war that's going

3:23

on, you know, to pray for their

3:25

safety and to pray that that conflict

3:27

will come and will end is

3:29

very important in developing a servant

3:32

heart, a compassionate heart, a humble heart,

3:34

and a child. Randy,

3:36

as we continue through the book, I'd love for

3:38

you to react to something I heard a mom

3:40

say one time, and that was a messy room

3:43

is a sign of poor character. So

3:45

we all know that we have to have

3:47

some level of cleanliness and orderliness in our

3:49

home. So how do we help our kids

3:51

do that? And is it really a reflection

3:53

of their character? Well, I cringed

3:56

on the inside when you made that

3:59

comment by that mom. Cause we don't

4:01

want to, uh, give negative labels. That

4:03

could be a little perfectionist. Yeah. Little

4:05

perfectionist and negative label. But yeah, again,

4:08

successful people in life have

4:10

good time management skills and

4:12

they are organized and

4:14

I have no doubt, even though I don't know you

4:17

personally, Jim and John, that you guys are great

4:19

time managers and you're organized. And I

4:21

think that likewise is what parents want

4:24

to help their children with. So in

4:26

time management, it could be a

4:28

bedtime routine. You know, helping a child establish

4:30

what happens at bedtime packing the bag, uh,

4:33

which is also organization, but you

4:35

know, brushing teeth, have a good

4:37

morning routine, have a homework routine.

4:39

But when can they play after

4:42

school? When do they do homework? But

4:44

so important. And again, we don't want

4:46

to be perfectionistic, but it's

4:48

a flexible time management. And

4:51

the one thing I find interesting when

4:53

I have counseled numerous

4:55

thousands of adults that have anxiety

4:57

and depression, often they

5:00

are poor time managers and

5:02

they are disorganized and

5:05

they have a lot of clutter and they

5:07

have cluttered cars and cluttered homes and

5:09

one of the first people need

5:11

to do their way out of anxiety and

5:13

depression. One of the first things I suggest

5:16

is to make sure that their home and

5:18

car are decluttered and that's also good role

5:20

modeling. Again, examples, not the best teacher. It's

5:22

only teacher good role modeling for the kids.

5:24

And kids need to maybe at night before

5:26

they go to bed, organize their bedroom just

5:29

a little, not perfectly, but just

5:31

get it organized, organize your papers

5:33

for school and that carries over into

5:36

life to help a child feel confident

5:38

and self-disciplined. That's a really good point.

5:41

Just do something in the positive direction.

5:43

Doesn't have to be perfect. Okay,

5:47

Danny. So I'm listening and

5:49

I'm thinking some children are

5:51

more organized and, uh, more

5:53

naturally giving and, um, there

5:55

are sometimes kids who, um,

5:59

might need help organization and

6:01

was serving others. How do we

6:03

approach that? Yeah, that

6:05

is so true. I've watched Alex and

6:07

Lexi, our two kids, be

6:10

very different in many different ways. And one

6:12

of them is organization. My daughter, Lexi, she

6:14

had, oh, her room was

6:16

super organized, a little girl. She had her

6:19

stuffed animals lined up and they were

6:21

very nice and neat, just

6:23

in her room. And then I get it

6:26

in my son's room and there was stuff all

6:28

over the place and stuffed under his

6:30

bed and he needed more help on

6:32

organizing and seeing the purpose of organization.

6:35

But he's learned his own system of organization

6:38

along the way of being organized.

6:40

And in the

6:42

same way, when they've served others,

6:44

when they've done it in

6:46

their own unique way, which has been fun

6:49

to watch. Well, yeah, so Alex was messy

6:51

as a kid, but now he's super serving

6:53

others. That takes a level of organization. And

6:55

he's organized in his mind business. So he's

6:58

developed that in his way in a system

7:00

that's specific to him. And

7:03

then my daughter, in her organized

7:05

way, sometimes she has become focused

7:07

on her own stuff and has had a

7:10

hard time seeing little ways

7:12

to serve others. But now she's learned in her

7:14

own way, she draws

7:16

cards for people at her school on

7:18

a regular basis for her teachers. You've

7:20

mentioned that previously, yeah. And right now

7:22

she has a whole stack going, all

7:24

these watercolor cards

7:26

that she's making for teachers and

7:29

friends and loves to bring life-giving words

7:32

to others around her. And then

7:34

she went to Goodwill and another

7:38

store, I think it was the Ark and found mugs

7:40

and other things. She put tea or

7:42

coffee in those and then gave those

7:45

to her friend. Just loves surprising. So

7:47

her service is in the form

7:49

of gifts. Yeah, she's got that

7:51

love language of gifts and she's

7:54

utilizing that. Well, every

7:56

child is unique. That's what's so important

7:58

to recognize as a parent. And

8:00

we've got a wonderful resource for you. It's an

8:02

email that you can sign up for Danny

8:05

give us a little plug for age and

8:07

stage. Oh, I love this thing We so

8:09

we've created an opportunity for parents to sign

8:11

up for emails to be sent to them

8:13

at the birth month of each Of your

8:15

children so parents sign up for this And

8:18

it's content that helps you know what

8:21

to expect that year of your child's development

8:23

all of your kids and then What

8:26

to build specifically in areas of concern

8:29

traditionally for parents and then how to

8:31

grow in the seven traits of effective parenting

8:34

the building blocks to child resilience and then the

8:37

Rhythms of your home and so that's

8:39

sent to you for free and then you also

8:41

get a weekly parenting tips e-newsletter Sent

8:44

to you According to the stages that you're

8:46

in as a parent. Okay customized to you

8:48

Yeah parents with even your child's name if

8:51

you give us your child's name, it'll be

8:53

customized with that Try it out.

8:55

See what you think and how much is that?

8:57

I it is absolutely free. Okay. Thanks for asking

9:00

Your focus on the family We want to

9:03

help you create a thriving home and have

9:05

a great relationship with your kids and

9:07

that resource took a long time to develop

9:10

but it's free for you to sign up

9:12

and receive these weekly tips

9:15

and this kind of annual

9:17

download of expectations

9:20

and Ways that you can really show up as a mom

9:22

or dad Sign up for

9:24

the age and stage newsletters on our website

9:26

We've got a link in the show notes

9:29

and then you heard Dr. Randy Schrader

9:31

and he's got such great advice get a

9:33

copy of his book today Simple

9:35

habits for effective parenting when you make a

9:37

gift of any amount to the Ministry of

9:39

focus on the family One-time

9:42

gift of twenty or thirty dollars or

9:44

maybe an ongoing monthly pledge of ten

9:46

or twenty or thirty dollars Either

9:49

way will say thank you in advance for

9:51

your generosity and I will send that book

9:53

to you Just follow the link in the

9:55

show notes on behalf of

9:57

Danny and the entire team. Thanks for listening today

10:00

to the Focus on the Family parenting group. It

10:06

can be challenging to inspire your community

10:08

to see life the way God sees

10:11

it. So what's the solution? Well

10:13

on June 15th, Focus on the Family is hosting

10:15

See Life 24. And

10:17

no matter where you are or who you

10:19

are, you can be a part of this

10:22

free event with speakers like Ben and Kirsten

10:24

Watson and real stories about choosing life. See

10:26

Life 24 will inspire you

10:29

to translate your faith into

10:31

action. Register today at seelife24.org