Episode Transcript
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0:02
Most resilient people don't want to sit down
0:05
in the valley. They want to figure things
0:07
out so they try again. They try again.
0:09
So these are children who don't whine and
0:12
complain mommy, it's too hard. I can't do
0:14
it. but instead they go Shoot. This was
0:16
hired. I wonder what would make it easier?
0:18
So on their own they still need a
0:21
mom and to be the support system Absolutely.
0:23
But on their own they begin to figure
0:25
things out. So they develop a healthy independence
0:27
which I think is so great. Healthier mental
0:30
health? Well that's Doctor Kathy Cook and she
0:32
joins. Us. Again today on focus on the
0:34
Family with Jim Daily. Thank you for joining
0:36
us. I'm John Fuller shouted sense funny I'm
0:39
laughing. Already going! I'm so excited to hear
0:41
today's program but last time we had a
0:43
great share with Doctor Kathy. Cookie did and
0:45
I just I think I'd love the Art
0:48
of Parenting. I'm no expert, believe it or
0:50
not I get to hear from a lot
0:52
experts, but I just love the challenge of
0:54
it and the thought that it takes to
0:57
do a good job. I don't always do
0:59
a great job. Let me confess that right
1:01
away Gene would say that's. True. But
1:04
you know it's fun. It is an art. Yeah, don't
1:06
you feel like it? When. They were
1:08
younger, it was easier and the stakes were
1:10
it so high and other adults and the
1:13
that's a good new lie down and I
1:15
don't know I'd opportunity. You know you're constantly
1:17
building into them so I think it's been
1:19
pretty even for me As a child. you
1:21
want them to catch certain principles and guidance.
1:23
What we've been talking to Doctor Kathy Cook
1:25
about his building resiliency and dear child I
1:28
think as I listened to all the experts
1:30
that is critical and that's even with scripture.
1:32
I mean scripture is trying to teach us
1:34
that as adults, but how we can help
1:36
that journey for our future. Adults by teaching
1:38
them how to be resilient and when
1:41
the Lord talks a lot about the
1:43
Valleys and what we need to learn
1:45
their so I'm excited about continuing this
1:47
talk with Doctor Kathy Cook. Yeah, she's
1:49
got a great love for the Lord
1:51
in his word, and she loves children
1:54
in helping children thrive. You can hear
1:56
that as she shares. She's a passionate
1:58
champion of children, a cat. Is the
2:00
founder and President of Celebrate Kids
2:02
and or she's a podcast her
2:04
She speaks to parents and educators
2:07
and kids themselves. She's written a
2:09
number of books and that we're
2:11
really excited about this book that
2:13
forms the foundation for a conversation
2:15
today. Resilient kids raising them to
2:17
embrace life with confidence into can
2:19
learn more about Cassie and her
2:21
ministry and or this great book.
2:23
an or web sites of the
2:25
link is in the show notes.
2:28
Welcome back Cassie Cook say here.
2:30
To Atlanta earlier allegedly that resiliency
2:32
is so interesting. Give us the
2:34
recap of why parents should be
2:36
mindful about teaching our children resiliency
2:38
and then we'll get into how
2:40
we do it. Unless it's so
2:42
resiliency is readily recovering from difficulty,
2:44
disappointment, trauma, failure, grief seem the
2:46
difficult parts of life and life
2:48
is going to have difficult parts
2:50
to. As if Southern don't learn
2:53
how to recover and come back,
2:55
maybe even bounce back. Move forward
2:57
Pass the failure to live at
2:59
home forever. Let's put that on
3:01
there. and but most importantly, Gm
3:03
If they don't develop an ability
3:05
to walk out of their trauma,
3:07
they won't become the God intended
3:09
for them to be. And that
3:11
greed is me because God has
3:13
a plan for every person he
3:15
creates and it's only when resilient
3:17
where we come back from difficulty
3:20
that will learn and grow and
3:22
discover how life works, will develop
3:24
character, face and perseverance, intelligence, problem
3:26
solving, Health. Mental Health. All.
3:28
Of the huts and and we know it
3:30
because you didn't want to visit person's even
3:33
watch a fragile person. Very different. Yeah we
3:35
may not understand it that way but when
3:37
you have that them. Grid
3:39
to look through, it does become more
3:42
parents. You know the Lord talks about
3:44
it as Shalom his peace and the
3:46
world's chaos Years and even the Church,
3:48
even Christians can live in the world
3:50
chaos. Know if we're not embracing gods,
3:53
Shalom, his peace and I think his
3:55
piece in some ways is defined as
3:57
learning these tools of resiliency. And you
3:59
know. This is what it's about. I
4:01
think that's brilliant And do we trust
4:03
God? We believe in his strengths are
4:06
don't we have to be Believe that
4:08
he has a purpose for us to
4:10
believe that his wisdom is with following
4:12
and that he is a god. A
4:14
second and third chances to believe that
4:16
forgiveness works et cetera to a model
4:18
that we believe that we teach that
4:21
we celebrate that to be worship him
4:23
so that our kids realize that as
4:25
following him teaches us therefore they might
4:27
want to do. We could spend a
4:29
whole episode. On that yes I mean
4:31
proverbs Three Five right? Yes at. Do
4:33
not lean on your own understanding but
4:35
in all your ways acknowledge him and
4:37
he will make your Pastor and I think
4:39
that's throwing you talking about says I'm
4:41
in that regard as you been with us
4:44
before obviously to talk about the five
4:46
core needs. we did that. now I'm
4:48
in a different episodes. Were going to post
4:50
a link to that program on the
4:52
website so people can go here that
4:54
great content com up but walk us through
4:56
those needs an what they mean for
4:58
our children. I would love to
5:00
because they're super related to resiliency. So the
5:03
first of the poor needs that we believe
5:05
all of us adults as well I created
5:07
to have Mats is need for security. Who
5:09
can I trust? And we're talking about resiliency.
5:11
How to kids overcome trauma, difficulty, deceit and
5:14
embarrassments? They have to trust you if they
5:16
don't stress you to come to you and
5:18
say dad's this happened I don't know what
5:20
to do or mom. I don't know
5:22
to do is they don't trust you. They won't
5:25
come to you and you won't be able to
5:27
be their hero to rescue them in a difficult
5:29
moment. So are you honest? Are you available? Are
5:31
you telling the truth or you teach? seen are
5:33
telling? Are you yelling and same in the city
5:36
to let that happen. Are
5:38
you saying talk to me son Let me help
5:40
you So are you available? I you trustworthy. It's
5:42
huge. Save it if you're not to him and
5:44
I'll say this to put salmon anybody. Obviously we
5:47
all need to ask again to be forgiven because
5:49
we all make mistakes. But I will tell you
5:51
the kids are desperate for security. We.
5:53
Have an identity crisis in our country Because we
5:55
have a security crisis is a security crisis. If
5:57
they can, I trust you to be there. And
6:00
er, hat tell the truth. And. To build
6:02
them up and to be underside they
6:04
will go find someone else. Yeah, that's
6:06
why groups become important frame groups and
6:08
sometimes they're not really helping and the
6:10
most positive of ways that Kathy let
6:12
me ask you in terms of belonging
6:14
and identity. In addition to security which
6:16
he discovered what it does, other two
6:18
elements had asep play into our child
6:20
development of resilience. he has super important.
6:22
So security, Who could I trust leads
6:24
to identity? Who am I? So do
6:26
your kids know their strengths? Have you
6:28
told them that their over climbers? Have
6:30
you told them that. They're learning to
6:32
handle defeat easier than in the past.
6:34
Or we would say speaking weiss it
6:36
as them. yes, given them to set
6:38
us up, holds them and spill some
6:40
ups and then that influences belongings. So
6:42
if they're paying attention and negative people, maybe
6:45
it's because they're negative themselves. So have
6:47
you taught them who they are that
6:49
they are blessed to be? A blessing, that
6:51
they're capable, that they're over comers, that
6:53
they're learners, that they are improving? So these
6:55
are their identities. Another walk into relationships
6:57
and a walk and not defeated and
6:59
not seemed. They walk in. Been.
7:01
Over comers. another look for people who
7:04
are positive influences on their lives as
7:06
well. So that's the outcome of those
7:08
postures for the pair. Yeah, speaking these
7:10
truths to your children, it is. Building.
7:13
Them up? Yeah, hopefully not eating. You overdo.
7:15
that's a good at all. them into a
7:17
false sense of who they are so you
7:20
have to Solitude? Yeah, and. They.
7:22
Must know their strengths to they can
7:24
overcome their challenges. It's not played for
7:26
to know your strengths. It's prideful to
7:28
not know your weaknesses. It's prideful to
7:30
think your strengths are more important somebody
7:32
elses. But if kids don't know their
7:34
strengths, That. Their creative and other centered
7:36
and outgoing and careful and wise and quick
7:38
mathematicians. If they don't know they're saying they
7:40
won't know who they can be and they
7:42
won't know that they can overcome trauma So
7:44
they do up to know that know to
7:46
see them been prideful and the best of
7:49
the best than know. Let's have a lesson
7:51
in humility for house. Yes well let me
7:53
ask this question. I was at a conference
7:55
and this isn't in your book and services
7:57
and outside quite or guess but there was
7:59
a. Specialist a psychologist in
8:01
Trauma soon as the school
8:04
shootings hurricane victims and he
8:06
said they had done research
8:08
ship over five hundred victims
8:11
of these situations traumatic events
8:13
and he said the number
8:15
one. Ah, An
8:17
important tool for human being to get
8:19
through those events and I was expecting
8:22
resiliency. He said it was humility. Oh
8:24
inches and I went wow does it?
8:26
You know That Struck me as such
8:28
an amazing way because the Lord says,
8:31
be humble for I am humbled absolute
8:33
or it may be bigger than poetry.
8:35
Wow. In the Lord is same, Be
8:38
humble because it will help you get through
8:40
life and gets your life's most dramatic moments.
8:42
It allows you to ask for help. Well.
8:45
Nice said. Also allows you to
8:47
emphasize seller you're not. Perhaps.
8:50
In the worst possible position, others may
8:52
be worse off the know. Fascinating. which
8:54
gives you hope. Absolutely saw. I just
8:56
found that Really, when you look at
8:59
resiliency and the new look at humility,
9:01
there is a combination Absolutely Yeah, because
9:03
if I'm not humble of and prideful,
9:05
I will never expect to be wrong.
9:08
And so now what I'm ron
9:10
I'd crumble. For. Somebody who's
9:12
humble and teacher Bolland aware that I
9:14
don't know a lot. Yeah, because I'm
9:17
still young and I'm learning. They handle
9:19
that better because they know that that's
9:21
how life happens. Yes, I think for
9:23
us as Christians, one thing Jean and
9:25
I tried to do was always to
9:27
talk about where center say by great
9:29
that no one's perfect that we're going
9:32
to fail. We're gonna make mistakes like
9:34
we talked about last time and that
9:36
the Lord knows that and his heart
9:38
does not shrink. His love for us
9:40
doesn't shrink because of that. Like a
9:42
good parent, he's gonna be an encouragement to
9:45
us to say okay, pick yourself up was
9:47
cute movement I covered that. You know the
9:49
price that needed to be paid for that.
9:53
Absolutely. I mean that less of the heroes in
9:55
the Bible right where I said we could talk
9:57
forever about Iraq at the best. I mean desert.
10:00
A horrendous decisions and and mistakes if
10:02
you well and yet was a man.
10:04
With. A hard for God and
10:06
mean Jesus as the hero of
10:09
of resiliency, He. Didn't stay
10:11
down and he walked all the way
10:13
to the crisis for us. I'm finishing
10:15
the task. So the Bible alone is
10:17
full of amazing examples of who God
10:19
would want us to be and how
10:21
he would want us to be here
10:23
here so often. Kathy Again, it's feels
10:25
like it's going to be more complicated.
10:27
Students: Your child? Resiliency? That's a big
10:30
word Race: Where does it mean that
10:32
you sexy in of the book has
10:34
great examples in there about how to
10:36
go about talking about it near just
10:38
the idea of talking to your kids
10:40
about resiliency. As he get a
10:42
friend name's Sally is you are on
10:44
the phone Wilson says just the way
10:46
she prioritize communicated something to her children.
10:48
What happened. This. Really impresses me.
10:50
So when Sally's three boys were of school
10:52
age if she was on the phone when
10:54
they walked in the door from school, she
10:56
immediately hung up. In her friends knew that
10:58
this was her policy so she would say
11:00
hey, you know kill have some touchy later
11:02
hang up in the first thirty minutes that
11:05
those boys were home with their thirty minutes
11:07
Know what did that communicate to those boys
11:09
that they were important? Yes and then she
11:11
was available In if you don't think you're
11:13
important thing, you don't think anything you think
11:15
is important. So why would you share anything
11:17
about your school day with your mom and
11:19
your mom is distracted. And she's cooking inches
11:21
on the phone and somebody elses I was
11:23
more important and when so they believe that
11:25
somebody elses I was more important. It will
11:27
crush their soil and they may not have
11:29
the words that they would even used to
11:31
express that and again no seemed to blame
11:33
for people listening to don't know this. This
11:35
is why we're on the right. Absolutely. You
11:37
know will try to give you hope that
11:39
you can do something differently but been available
11:41
to the conversation been available to the child's
11:44
heart cried army was so bad in school
11:46
today or or the dad it's the kid
11:48
up at school you know enjoys moment. Stats
11:50
on how to handle in a. Nod
11:52
to be available and encouraging those
11:55
conversations in a variety of ways
11:57
I think is really important because
11:59
if you. Boys which I don't
12:01
have the experience having. girls you did
12:03
ya but in a pig boys that
12:05
house you to glide would you eat?
12:07
Not much spray? What? Was your favorite
12:09
thing. Nothing. Players suffers. we had
12:11
effort wise enough. Their typically not very verbose
12:13
or house but see have to dig a
12:15
little and and create a talent for digging
12:18
in. Yes and what you said before is
12:20
really important. Was it at the end of
12:22
the last episode where you said you liked
12:24
the Art of Parity Indiana Perfect at it
12:26
says you don't have to have all the
12:28
answers to have a conversation with the kids.
12:30
Don't be afraid to have a conversation for
12:32
fear that they're going to have something that
12:35
happened a dance the you have no personal
12:37
experience with and so now you don't know.
12:39
Then you simply say. Oh my
12:41
goodness, I've never thought of that before.
12:43
Let's keep talking about what you could
12:45
have done differently or what you to
12:47
do differently tomorrow. So having your own
12:50
sense of confidence without perfection I think
12:52
is key Their Kathy before we moved
12:54
to another subject. For
12:56
that parents that has a situation
12:59
where their child's just in this
13:01
prolonged rut, they they're not finding
13:03
a way out of it. What
13:05
encouragement would you have for that
13:07
parent to stick with it's you're
13:09
being positive year, hopefully praying with
13:12
them and helping them as you
13:14
can spiritually emotionally in every way.
13:16
but in the back here mind
13:18
as a period going oh my
13:20
goodness is saying is taking way
13:22
too long to get out of.
13:26
Neither. Could be some other issues of
13:28
depression anxiety, but what do you do
13:30
to assess sellers apparent as a big
13:33
question? That is a question in. My.
13:35
For a sensor might be to
13:37
consider that it isn't the major
13:40
of of a clinical diagnosis might
13:42
be necessary for anxiety or depression
13:44
either. Some outline. Issues.
13:47
Related to stress that you might be unaware
13:49
of. There is nothing wrong with seeking help.
13:51
Another thing that I want to say is
13:53
is it possible that the right your child
13:55
is in. His. Arrest. He doesn't
13:58
need to get out as. And. When I
14:00
mean that is, you don't want him to
14:02
stay down in a negative, horrific mental health
14:04
space. Or what if you're asking me to
14:06
do something that isn't his to do? What?
14:09
Did it give an example the wedding and your
14:11
it isn't and yeah want your kid to play
14:13
the piano and he is not driven to play
14:15
the piano. His teachers you beetlejuice teeth is not
14:17
a piano player. This is where the mom and
14:19
dad have to say okay I love music but
14:21
I'm going to raise the kid God gave me
14:23
and he gave me a kid is not inclined
14:25
toward music and I'm on. Let him quit Now
14:27
I believe in fulfilling commitment. So if you say
14:29
gonna play a year soccer season a Sakara here
14:31
it's your own dad's the other for the you
14:33
use You made it to him to coach the
14:35
team and you going to play soccer for seasons
14:37
as you'd made this choice. but at the. End
14:39
of that season. If your kid is just whining
14:41
and complaining and desperate snack or back, this is
14:43
where you and your humility as a mom and
14:45
dad. Sit back and go. Okay, what's going on
14:47
here? Nice. It was a negative coach If it
14:49
was as a bad situation, maybe was the youngest
14:51
on a team and that's when he was defeated
14:53
allies and maybe want to try the season. This
14:56
is where you as the lord A give you
14:58
guidance here but there's nothing wrong with a stepping
15:00
back and going. okay. you don't have to be
15:02
an expert at everything and you don't have to
15:04
like everything. I want kids exposed to a lot.
15:06
The subway find out where the gifts are Yes,
15:08
but they don't have. To necessarily of feel
15:10
everything that we think they said. this
15:12
is where it's hard to be a peerage
15:14
and soon as we have to see
15:16
it in a wisdom again from teachers and
15:19
coaches and our siblings and even our
15:21
parents weiss you know this was the area
15:23
I started asked poorly and and and
15:25
I quickly maybe just mad because I played
15:27
football, basketball and baseball. While I have
15:29
two boys I think of course they're gonna
15:31
play a fighting force. Trend is like
15:33
six six, six seventy three kept. I have
15:36
a specimen of wire haired I remember
15:38
one of the first. Phone calls but he
15:40
called me when I was on the road.
15:42
he was in sixth grade and he goes
15:44
data one and gold medal as I asked
15:46
some trance or that in. Chess
15:49
I went. chests. Stats
15:51
gray aside aside, Amazing.
15:53
I've sort of. But
15:57
I I really had to do it. and then
15:59
I just from that. Point I made the
16:01
decision. His sports life will be his
16:03
all. encourage him but I'm not going
16:05
to be positive or negative about any
16:07
of it. You know, I'm just gonna
16:09
sit. That's good. How did you know
16:12
that? You know I just watched the
16:14
best teacher I had. We're outta control
16:16
beds at sporting events that were so
16:18
obnoxious to their kids. In. A baseball
16:20
game raise? Where? the My dad yelling at the kid
16:23
at the plate? Time. Member my
16:25
alcoholic father coming to a little league
16:27
game a mind and it's so shame
16:29
me. You know he aimed well. Empire
16:31
was. I was a strike and he
16:33
was doing it in that intoxicated sounds
16:35
and I'm Roberta standing at the plate
16:37
That made an indelible imprint on my
16:39
mind. So what? Like I your dad
16:41
yelling at his can I just wanted
16:43
been taken by the scruff of the
16:45
Mcintyre combined the bleachers and what do
16:47
you go? and so praise God for
16:50
the can spare is right. But I
16:52
missed in that context. Oh, but you
16:54
really? Again, I think and mom's would have
16:56
this issue to out and whatever the topic
16:58
as or the to vocational thing they're looking
17:00
at you get a back down. We'll.
17:02
Have to know he of raising right. It's
17:05
about your children making you look good. This
17:07
we have to separate this out. Yes
17:09
you period. So your kids become who
17:12
they can be. but they're separate from
17:14
you and I also say demands and
17:16
edge. Also more than a mom and
17:18
dad are there are I pray that
17:20
you commit to marriage and then your
17:22
sisters and daughters and aunts and best
17:24
friends and volunteers and all of these
17:26
other things that don't It's all wrapped
17:28
up in your kids that on of
17:30
your everything south is put upon the
17:32
child of stress that they cel is
17:34
going to potentially causing the collapse. So
17:36
again we can. Change we can lift out
17:39
of this if this is the belief that
17:41
somebody is listening With yet one thing that's
17:43
important in you mentioned it in the book,
17:45
the Self Talk. That inner monologue that takes
17:47
place in I Don't Have destroyed by Everybody
17:50
Trent Now we're talking about discuss Eastern Brain
17:52
research in college now. so this kind of
17:54
fun but he was saying the other night
17:56
not everybody really has that inner discussion a
17:58
majority of people do. Not that
18:00
was kind of interesting that some
18:02
people may not even have that
18:05
are but speak to the importance
18:07
Now we talk about it is
18:09
positive thoughts or self talk is
18:11
to add that biblical principles there
18:13
because some people as christians we
18:15
get a little the and you
18:17
know apprehensive about psychology and I
18:19
get that a separate I think
18:21
psychology proves scripture I don't have
18:23
a problem with and that's always
18:25
been my position. But but in
18:27
that regard speak to the healthiness
18:29
emotionally. Spiritually of talking yourself through something
18:32
in teaching your kids to do the
18:34
same. That's and that you brought that
18:36
up. As. I
18:39
said earlier, I think you're in
18:41
yesterday's program. Beliefs cause behavior. In
18:43
our beliefs, so up in our vocabulary
18:46
and that starts in our head. Most
18:48
of us don't say anything about that,
18:50
we haven't rehearsed in our mind. We've.
18:53
Side and we've won. Their Okay: If I
18:55
say that, what will they think of me
18:57
and how they react. So when your children
19:00
say I'm so stupid, they have had those
19:02
thoughts inside their heads if they're not seen
19:04
it, but they're acting like they think it's.
19:06
Then. You know that the self taught us
19:09
defeating them? so I think we're. We're.
19:11
Bold and me look at our kids and we
19:13
say i'm going to predict based on the fact that
19:15
you just gave up quickly the you been thinking you're
19:17
stupid. But you know what,
19:19
You're not stupid. This is new. We
19:21
haven't done double digit addition before. The
19:24
reason to go to school as learn
19:26
what you don't yet know and so
19:28
I don't want you to be defeated.
19:30
This is tricky or spelling rules don't
19:32
always work or you the best baseball
19:34
players get to for base three other
19:36
ten times. So why are you complaining
19:38
All the times? We've gotta teach kids
19:40
a better view of victory if I
19:42
to put it. that perspective. A perspective.
19:44
So it starts with us predicting what
19:46
they might be thinking, listen to what
19:48
they're. Saying is it starts in their
19:50
head and then challenge in them and
19:52
I would say depend upon the situation.
19:54
Again, it depends. You have to have
19:56
a good relationship with your kids to
19:58
say what makes you think you're stupid
20:01
You know when you said Kathy I
20:03
mean in my stomach. In my gut
20:05
I had a reaction they're about a
20:07
child saying I'm so stupid that just
20:09
ah, it's a pretence. Here's my eyes.
20:11
Oh it's so bad. A Gene and
20:13
the boys were in Washington Dc. I
20:16
had meetings and they went on a
20:18
kind of a D C tour of
20:20
probably the Lincoln Memorial in Washington Memorial,
20:22
but there was a young man of
20:24
that you know boy about the age
20:26
of trend. Try on that trip with
20:28
his parents and. At. Want with
20:31
the the hosts. It was asking
20:33
questions and he answered incorrectly and
20:35
he kept the boys. Tommy kept
20:37
hitting himself and ahead. I'm stupid
20:40
I'm stupid know right in front
20:42
of everybody and I just man
20:44
I went. When. You think was going
20:46
through that. Little. Boy's head, you know
20:48
it's let them kind of express it, but
20:51
I thought it was a good moment for
20:53
them to learn he was being way too
20:55
hard on himself, right? right? Sees
20:57
no in into the parents who here like
20:59
the alleged your heart for appearance gems. So
21:01
the peers who hears the boy or girl
21:03
muslims are stupid know it. It better break
21:05
your heart. You don't want you know it's
21:08
you. Don't want kids to think that Now
21:10
you have to know they're not stupid. They
21:12
weren't thoughtful, they weren't careful, they didn't plan,
21:14
they forgot to study, they didn't ask for
21:16
help, They ride. I didn't know the answer,
21:18
They did not know that or no answer.
21:20
You have to teach your children what is
21:22
reality and you don't allow the word stupid.
21:24
I was unprepared. I was careless. I rushed.
21:26
I was played folks. Teach them to
21:28
tell the truth in their head, in
21:30
their self taught and then outside of
21:32
their head of they well and honor
21:34
them when they're truthful and give him
21:36
a hug and say I'm so proud
21:38
of you for recognizing that you need
21:40
to study more because this is challenge.
21:43
It's great for that you've discovered you're
21:45
not stupid. This is new Yeah that's
21:47
so good spiritual application that let's hit
21:49
that them he had a we increase
21:51
a child's capacity for spiritual understanding when
21:53
it comes to their abilities, etc. The
21:55
I love that question We. Have to teach
21:57
kids that. You know Dad
21:59
is on the the around and he cares and
22:02
his on our side and we can pray and
22:04
he will teach us much but we cannot treat
22:06
him like Amazon Prime suspect. It's good that we're
22:08
not gonna get everything we want. we wanted the
22:10
way we won at right now. So do we.
22:13
Know. That he partners with us and
22:15
we're still responsible for things right. And I
22:18
think again to we pray and to be
22:20
pray with. Integrity and in
22:22
relationship. And to say, his authority. do we
22:24
know the whole of God? If children don't
22:26
know a whole lot about the bigness and
22:29
magnificence of god, it's easy to give up.
22:31
if all they know is that God is
22:33
wise and they don't get an answer to
22:35
a question other the will, God isn't wise.
22:38
And now he's nobody and now they drop out
22:41
of faith and the church. So to they know
22:43
the whole of god. Do they understand that? Worse
22:45
of has a place and and prayer as
22:47
a place and in the word as a
22:49
place and all of that it's so good
22:52
and you know even to teach your child
22:54
the bigness of god in a week to
22:56
talk Why I know when we went camping
22:58
we'd look up in the sky ago, discos
23:00
forever. The as I mean just think about
23:02
that. we sit in these hammocks and look
23:04
up at the stars and there's pretty amazing
23:06
and just the boy. the way the boys
23:08
with think about it. yeah you know talk
23:10
and it's a neat example of it. doesn't
23:12
have to be other accomplish you know he's
23:14
the most important chapter. I wrote in the
23:16
book is the last chapter on spiritual resiliency to
23:19
us because I don't want them given up
23:21
on dad right? Wasn't giving up on spelling a
23:23
math heat or but I sure don't want them
23:25
giving up and go on the big scheme of
23:27
things. The most important thing is their relationship with
23:30
the absolutely so gym is there's time. May.
23:32
I say something sir, Have we modeled
23:34
for our children that we have dry
23:36
spells? Toppling, Because if we
23:39
don't, when they have when they're terrified, there are
23:41
times I read the Hollywood of Dad and it
23:43
jumps off the page at me. It's like a
23:45
neon and it's lit it. It's blink. Get it?
23:47
It's like this is the first for your gabby.
23:50
And then there are times when I read the
23:52
script or in that doesn't happen. But I keep
23:54
reading the scripture in. if we don't tell our
23:56
kids that there are there, it's seasons when just
23:58
like every relationship, there's pizza. Rallies and mountain
24:00
tops and all That will teach her kids
24:03
that when they like daddy I was weeps
24:05
when he reads the bible I don't Mommy
24:07
always says the she loves church I don't
24:09
and they feel if they don't have as
24:11
much love for God as they have to
24:14
have and the guy doesn't love them as
24:16
much as God must love their parents And
24:18
this weekend that let our kids believe that
24:20
have been sick for a point. What a
24:22
good points Chassis this been so good we
24:25
didn't get to a couple things but if
24:27
you will give us permission like the Family
24:29
Resiliency Manifesto yeah I don't know about fifteen
24:31
points they're roughly will post those on the
24:34
website of foods do that some people to
24:36
read that says but here's the idea. get
24:38
the but. It has
24:40
all of that inside. resilient kids raising them
24:42
to embrace life with confidence. It's a great
24:45
resource for parents. You know when you look
24:47
at those core things again. This is what
24:49
we've been talking about the last couple of
24:52
days. It's good to teach him mass. It's
24:54
good to help them read and write novels.
24:56
Wonderful. Thanks teaching them how to do lies.
24:58
Some of. Those are
25:00
important. This is really important so they
25:02
can stand the storms of the slice.
25:05
Trust in the Lord regardless of their
25:07
circumstances. That's what real resiliency is gonna
25:09
bring them. And I so appreciate your
25:11
willingness to concentrate on this and the
25:13
way that you've brought it to life.
25:15
So thank you for being here. Oh
25:17
thank you for the opportunity. I have
25:19
loved it! Yeah and then of course
25:21
at focus on the family. This is
25:23
our mission in a marriage and parenting
25:25
is really the core of what we
25:27
do and we do that all in
25:29
the idea of a relationship. With Jesus, so
25:31
get in touch with us. A if you
25:33
don't know the lord, we'd love to have
25:35
that discussion with you and point you in
25:38
that direction. and and secondly, how to be
25:40
that parents? That. Builds. These
25:42
resiliency characteristics and do your children and
25:44
into yourself and again get a copy
25:47
of Kathy's books. You can do that
25:49
by making a gift of any amount
25:51
as you can do that monthly. That
25:53
really helps a gene and I support
25:55
focus that way. I know. John, you
25:58
Dina do that. Why do that? The
26:00
gonna be absolutely for being a monthly yes
26:02
supporters. it's worth it to me. what you're
26:04
doing matters well and it's is is makes
26:06
it all easier for the budgeting. rice for
26:08
sent out a one time gift as well
26:10
as he can afford It will get it
26:12
in your hands. We are christian ministry. We
26:14
get that we want to be there for
26:16
you and will trust. Others will carry the
26:18
cost of that's a good a copy of
26:20
the book and then also free. We have
26:22
the Seven Traits of Effective Parenting Assessment tool.
26:24
you can go. It takes about five to
26:26
seven minutes to fill it out. It'll tell
26:28
you where are you doing. Well and where
26:31
you may need some improvement and resources
26:33
like Kathy's book to get to bolster
26:35
those areas of weakness. So all of
26:37
that is there we have carrying crushing
26:39
you can talk with. We're doing our
26:41
best to be out there for years
26:44
or just pick up the phone and
26:46
give us a call. The I hope
26:48
your call today right now. Eight hundred,
26:50
the letter A and the word family
26:52
eight hundred to three to six, four
26:54
five Nine or Find Health are all
26:56
the resources we've mentioned here along the
26:59
way. or the details. Are in the
27:01
shown us And thanks for joining us
27:03
today for focus on the family With
27:05
Jim Daily I'm John Foreign Money Back,
27:07
I'm as we once again. Health and
27:09
your family thrive in class. It
27:17
can be challenging to inspire your community
27:19
to see life the way God season.
27:22
So what's the solution? Well on June
27:24
Fifteen, focus on the families hosting See
27:26
Like Twenty Four and no matter where
27:29
you are or who you are, you
27:31
can be a part of this Free
27:33
events with speakers like Been and First
27:35
and Watson and Real Stories about choosing
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Register today at Sea Life Twenty four.org.
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