0:00

Follow the Profit is a production of Ging

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Rich three sixty and I Heart Radio.

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So it's been about twenty years

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and really not so long ago that

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we live in a world without social media,

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and since then now it's just kind

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of not optional, and billions

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of people, including myself and probably

0:20

you, use it to connect and

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discover and while others use

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it to really bring other people down. We're

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gonna take a look at the pros and cons of social

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media and where it's kind of going next.

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Plus, many people think success

0:35

is about themselves, but quite

0:37

often there's another person behind the scenes

0:40

that's giving the right insight and advice. They're

0:43

coaching them. My next guest does

0:46

exactly that. She's a coach, and

0:48

she has a lot of really interesting insight

0:50

into how we kind of deal with ourselves

0:53

from an outside perspective, of course, and

0:55

how to use all of this information to maximize

0:58

your uncles Um David gras So, and

1:00

this is Follow the Profit. So

1:09

Follow the Profit isn't about getting rich quick.

1:11

It's about making those key investments

1:13

into yourself and into your world,

1:16

and a lot of that involves understanding understanding

1:18

the economy, politics, and

1:21

culture and using that knowledge

1:23

to help your money work for you. Whenever

1:26

a new technology that comes out as

1:28

the latest and greatest and becomes

1:30

an essential part of society, one

1:33

question is often asked, how did

1:35

we live without this? In fact, we have a

1:37

tendency to even forget the world before it.

1:39

I know, I'm one of those people. And there's

1:42

so many different types of technology that have revolutionized

1:45

the way we live. The printing press, electricity,

1:48

the car, movies, television,

1:52

cell phones, GPS,

1:54

the Internet, and now social

1:57

media. Can we really live without it?

2:00

Is there a backlash coming? Or is this permanent?

2:03

Or you know, people are asking

2:05

a lot of questions about social media. Basic

2:07

social networking online

2:10

took place in the sixties, but it was really

2:13

in the late nineties and when

2:16

the first social media site or

2:19

something like it made its debut and it

2:21

was called six degrees dot com

2:23

and people could upload pictures and messages

2:25

and you know, make friends what we do today,

2:28

And we get to the current

2:31

landscape. Facebook

2:33

is the thousand pound guerrilla.

2:35

Evidently they have their own supreme court

2:37

that decides whether Trump is allowed back or not. So

2:40

there's TikTok, Twitter,

2:44

Instagram. I mean, they're multiplying

2:46

by the day and really

2:49

they're changing the way we view the world. And

2:52

the number of people using any

2:54

of these social media sites, which I imagine

2:57

people like me who belong to all of them,

2:59

but the numbers in the billions, like

3:01

at least half a humanities using it. So

3:04

social media isn't just for

3:07

making friends. That was one of the first users of Facebook.

3:09

It was kind of figuring out like who's

3:11

around, what they're all about. Back

3:14

then, you know, you can put your politics and religion on

3:16

there and no one got mad about it. Now

3:19

it's used for business. It's

3:21

not even an option if you're not on

3:23

social media, like does your business exist?

3:26

It is mandatory for you to have a

3:28

social media footprint, and if

3:30

you don't use it, basically you're leaving money

3:32

on the table. If you have a food truck

3:34

and you're not tweeting about it, or if you

3:36

have a restaurant and you're opening up a new location,

3:39

did it really happen if it wasn't on the

3:41

instas in on Twitter? And we all

3:44

love being hyper connected, and so many

3:46

people in so many places have met

3:49

connected and even gotten

3:51

married or moved somewhere new because

3:53

of social media. They found jobs

3:55

some places like linked In, social

3:58

media is good for society

4:00

in so many different ways,

4:02

and then on the other hand, it's

4:05

been terrible for society

4:07

in other ways. Virtually anyone

4:09

can say anything about you with little real

4:12

world consequences, and really

4:14

they could even be fairly anonymous. I

4:16

think of I don't know if this counts of social media, but

4:18

the comments section where you can leave anonymous

4:21

comments, there's a lot of ugliness in that.

4:23

Twitter is pretty mean. I tend

4:25

to stay off at Twitter, not because

4:27

I'm not interested in what people think, but I think

4:30

it attracts really mean people.

4:32

Of course that doesn't isn't all of twitters.

4:34

A lot of Twitter is fantastic, but that

4:36

mean element really keeps

4:38

me away from it because I don't want to think

4:41

of humanity like that. And a lot of journalists

4:43

spend a lot of time on Twitter and come to believe

4:45

that the mean corner of Twitter represents

4:48

the wider universe, and that is fundamentally

4:51

false. And you know, so

4:54

let's start talking about this. Twitter

4:56

is a big deal. Facebook

4:59

is the thousand poun guerrilla, and in case you didn't know, they

5:01

also own Instagram and WhatsApp. So

5:04

let's talk about the pros first before

5:06

we talk about the absolute

5:09

show that it becomes sometimes number

5:11

one. You get to promote the best

5:13

part of yourself. If you look at my Instagram,

5:15

like, I have a pretty nice life, and that's pretty

5:17

true, although you don't see the

5:19

hard work and the nasty stuff because

5:21

we don't put that online. And you get

5:24

feedback. If you're a business,

5:27

you can create surveys, get opinions,

5:29

acquire customers that you never had access

5:32

to. Geographically, flattening

5:34

our world and hyper connecting

5:36

us to people that we should probably know and

5:39

be doing business with. We're attracting

5:41

like minded communities, and we're making

5:43

new friends worldwide, and even more

5:46

importantly, we're keeping in touch with friends than

5:48

maybe otherwise we wouldn't have kept

5:50

in touch with and lost track of and

5:53

with these like minded communities and these

5:55

communities we used to be a part of that

5:57

we stay connected to. You get help

5:59

and it ice and great philosophy

6:02

from others, like it's wonderful.

6:04

I use social media all the time, and

6:06

I'd like to think I use it for the good.

6:09

So let's cross over to the Khan.

6:12

I mean, social media creates

6:15

gossip, rumors. Cyber

6:17

bullying is a major issue. You know,

6:19

In the olden days, we all

6:21

face bullying in school, but the bullying

6:24

never followed you home, like once you

6:26

got on the school bus and went home, or your parents

6:28

picked you up, or you walked home from school,

6:30

it was done. Now these days, the bullying

6:32

occurs while you're sleeping, while you're awake,

6:35

while you're at school, and we have yet

6:37

to confront that reality, and it's having

6:39

a definite psychological impact on

6:41

young people. That pro

6:43

that I talked about attracting like minded people,

6:46

well that's a problem because those create echo

6:48

chambers. There is nothing more

6:50

dangerous than getting the same

6:53

type of person in a room and getting a hundred

6:56

of them. It turns into a raw ra fest

6:58

that often leads to very

7:00

poor results. So we have to be careful

7:03

about that. It's important to be challenged.

7:05

It's important to sit with people who have

7:07

different ideas and who don't look

7:09

like you, and who don't think like you, and

7:12

who don't behave like you, because

7:14

that really makes you examine who

7:16

you really are, and maybe it might even

7:19

make you be a better version of

7:21

yourself. And I think we've forgotten that in

7:23

the world of social media and the divisiveness

7:26

that's tearing apart this country. A

7:28

lot of that is fueled by social media, and

7:31

I'm not one of these people that thinks it's on

7:33

purpose. It's just a really nasty

7:35

side effect from this trend.

7:38

In all fairness to the social media companies,

7:41

they're trying their best. It's not really

7:43

an easy task. Nor do I envy

7:45

what they have to do every day, and they've definitely

7:48

made mistakes, and I hope in the future they realize

7:50

that it's okay to admit that they've made mistakes

7:53

and that we're all in this together. And

7:56

lastly, there's a big

7:58

cond to social media, which is the fakery,

8:01

and it's everywhere and

8:03

everybody does it. There's

8:05

bogus profiles, there's bogus likes, there's

8:08

bogus everything, and we have yet to confront

8:10

that. And we're all kind of complicit in

8:12

this. So that's something

8:14

that we have yet to do. And really,

8:17

as social media monetizes, is

8:19

it authentic, is it pay for play?

8:22

I don't think we've yet decided. I think

8:24

we're trying to create a world where's a mix of both,

8:27

and in the end, it's really neither.

8:29

So it's a little hard for people to understand

8:32

whether it's good that is paid

8:34

for play, or it's bad because it's paid for

8:36

play. And really, fundamentally,

8:38

the biggest con of social media is that

8:40

it's changing too fast for any of us to

8:43

keep up with it. People are migrating to new

8:45

platforms and legacy platforms

8:47

like Facebook and Twitter change their mind all

8:49

the time, and in all fairness, the world is

8:51

changing fast, so of course they're going to change their

8:53

mind. But business is

8:55

predicated on stability if you build

8:57

a business around social media, like I

9:00

have fundamentally a nonprofit, but

9:02

you know, we still have a mission where our bottom

9:04

line is impact. All these social platforms

9:07

have changed too fast for us to figure out what the hell

9:09

is going on, and the goal posts

9:11

moves so often that it's really hard

9:13

to win, and it further entrenches

9:16

certain voices to the detriment of

9:18

others, and that is very concerning.

9:20

I don't think it's on purpose, but

9:23

it has real world consequences. Our

9:26

next guest is going to talk about leaders

9:29

and leadership and what leaders

9:31

should focus on, and I think a lot of her tips

9:34

are really really valid for all

9:36

leaders, but even more relevant

9:39

for everyone in the world

9:41

of social media. We're

9:46

gonna take a quick break here be right

9:48

back. If

9:51

you look at any athlete or a performer

9:54

who's reached the very top of their

9:56

field, chances are they share one

9:58

thing in common. They at a coach, you

10:01

know, someone who was there guiding them

10:03

through a particular process,

10:05

all with the goal of winning,

10:07

succeeding. And it's no different

10:09

for those of us who run a business. We

10:12

all have multiple issues on

10:14

any given day. Hell I was facing

10:16

one right before this. Recording, productivity,

10:19

staffing, revenue, costs,

10:22

employees, customer satisfaction,

10:25

and of course just general chaos

10:27

because businesses chaos. And

10:29

that's just on the professional side. Imagine

10:32

our personal lives, love, marriage,

10:36

friendship, hobbies. Imagine

10:38

all the work you need to do to set

10:41

the stage for a life that is worth living.

10:43

So how do you even begin that process? Well,

10:46

our next guest makes it her business

10:48

to coach others not just their professional

10:51

goals, but also their personal

10:53

goals. Her name is chrisa Zendro's

10:56

Boys, chief strategy officer

10:59

for the Handle Group. What's up, Chris? Huh?

11:01

How how are you? It's good to be here.

11:03

I love the accents. Then on the last name,

11:06

well, you were a Zendros and now you're a

11:08

boy, So who's Mr Boys or Mrs Boys

11:10

for that matter. My husband and we had

11:13

a knockdown, drag out fight. I didn't want to give up

11:15

my last name. Funny story. I like threatened

11:17

my husband that I wasn't able to keep my last

11:19

name, then I would renovate the kitchen. He was

11:22

like, now I just renovated

11:24

the kitchen, Hence why we haven't negotiated

11:26

the last name. So you can't

11:28

have a war on two fronts on that. If

11:31

you want to fight with anyone in your family,

11:33

renovates something, and if you want to

11:35

fight at work, change something. So

11:37

that kind of relates to what you do

11:39

strategy a chief strategy

11:42

officer, So you had a strategy for

11:44

keeping that lovely Greek last name

11:46

of yours, Well, how do you bring that

11:48

strategy into both your personal and professional

11:51

life. So that's a really good question. No one's

11:53

asked me that before. I look at strategy

11:56

as figuring out what the win win is

11:58

going to be for all parties involved, because

12:00

strategy really is all about moving

12:03

something to a direction

12:05

that you wanted to go to. And most

12:08

people when they think about strategy, they think

12:10

about it as something that's going to happen right

12:12

away, or it's going to take a couple of steps

12:14

or a couple of conversations, and then we're done. We're

12:16

gonna get to our And

12:19

that's where the left out happens. And that's exactly

12:22

where what you just said, those fights happen

12:24

because people don't realize that strategy

12:26

and and doing something strategically involves

12:29

a ton of coalescing, politicking,

12:33

research and proposing,

12:35

and so there really is a process to even

12:37

just get aligned on the strategy. And then there's of

12:39

course managing the execution of the

12:41

strategy. So for me, it's about figuring

12:43

out all the party's desires

12:46

and then creating that win win and the

12:48

steps that are going to get everybody comfortable to

12:50

get to the ultimate outcome. So,

12:53

Chris, and that all sounds nice and dandy, but

12:55

a lot of times the parties don't even want to sit

12:57

at the same table and interact with each

12:59

other. How do you take this into account

13:01

when you're creating a strategy, because a lot

13:03

of times we're stuck in the middle between

13:06

two people who really don't care for each other.

13:08

Yeah, that happens quite often. So the

13:11

first thing I say to people is if you don't

13:13

have good relationships, don't even bother trying

13:15

to execute a change in an organization, Like

13:17

you're not ready. The idea that

13:19

you would go do that is you're you're failing

13:22

from the start. So you really do

13:24

have to care about your personal relationships. You do have

13:26

to invest in them. They do have to be a priority

13:28

for you, and specifically because at

13:30

some point, no matter who you are in an organization

13:32

or even in your personal life and your family, at

13:35

some point you're going to have to or

13:37

you're gonna need to ask for something, or you're gonna be called

13:39

to a role of responsibility

13:42

and you're going to need to have people to follow

13:44

you. You're gonna have to get by in and if you haven't

13:46

built those relationships, it's not gonna work. You guys,

13:48

do a lot more work before you can execute anything.

13:51

Yeah, but we tend to live in a very short

13:53

term world. Personal life, professional

13:55

life, It doesn't matter. We don't invest in relationships,

13:58

and we view relationships almost like a consumable

14:01

good, Like I want to feel a certain

14:03

way if I fall in love, and I want to feel a certain

14:05

way if I get a job in a skyscraper. Why

14:08

instead of framing this conversation the

14:10

way you just did, where you get

14:12

what you put in, do we treat everything

14:14

like as some sort of consumable

14:16

throwaway. Good human

14:19

nature is really funny. We really do care about

14:21

instant gratification. A part

14:23

of that is because we really like

14:25

to understand our circumstances

14:27

and that our circumstances are certain and

14:30

that we have domain over them. And so anytime

14:32

something takes a long time, it's uncertain,

14:34

like our mind doesn't really understand

14:37

how to wait for something for like five years

14:39

or like a year or whatever. We get really impatient

14:42

because in that space of time we

14:44

get worried. What happens in waiting

14:46

is that we get worried, We have doubts, we get

14:49

scared, whatever your version of anxiety,

14:51

panic, frustration, and this

14:53

seats in. So we prefer things to

14:55

be quick because it allows

14:58

us to mitigate that scared, freaked

15:00

outness. But then also human beings love

15:03

to control our circumstances, right

15:05

they We love to have the domain over

15:07

our environment. So when

15:09

you're doing a strategy and when something

15:12

is a really long term play, you've got to be able to live

15:14

in that gap. And it's uncomfortable.

15:18

Uncomfortable, so we

15:20

are creatures of comfort, whether it's personal

15:22

or professional. We love the routine

15:25

exactly. What is the phrase the

15:27

hell that you know versus the hell that you don't know? You

15:29

know, you'll stay somewhere even if it's not your

15:31

favorite place or with it, or you'll stay in a relationship

15:33

for a company even if that your favorite

15:35

because it's comfortable for you, even

15:37

if you know it's not the right place or you could

15:39

have better on the other side, you really will stay.

15:42

Um. It's part of what we teach in coaching, just as an aside,

15:45

Like we teach in coaching that there's really two main

15:47

voices that get in the way of

15:49

people getting whatever they want in their life. The

15:51

first voice is your chicken, which is your voice of

15:54

fear, fight, flight or freeze right.

15:56

And then there is your brat, which is the voice

15:59

of resistance, defiance, and laziness.

16:01

And this is the voice that wants you to be comfortable.

16:03

Like that really does go I'm

16:06

too tired to work out this morning, I'll work out later

16:08

today. And you know that's a complete line. It's not going to happen.

16:10

You're just comfortable and you don't want to get

16:13

up out of bed. But what do we do if we don't

16:15

do the chicken or the brat? What's

16:17

the right option then? So the thing

16:19

about human beings is that your chicken and

16:21

your bread are always present. I like to tell my clients

16:23

they're a little bit like Google. They're

16:26

a little bit like really loud always,

16:29

they're easy to use, easy to leverage,

16:31

like, they're just present. Uh. And the

16:33

problem with our chicken and our brat is

16:35

that it doesn't sound so

16:37

simple like the voices truly are simple

16:40

voices, but the issue with them is

16:42

that they sound sophisticated, so they sound like

16:44

your logic. I'm

16:47

like, oh, you know what, it's true, I should

16:49

wait to have this conversation because that per since in

16:51

a bad mood, you're just paying a chicken. You want to avoid

16:53

it. And here's a great justification, right,

16:56

I don't feel like exercising. It has a

16:58

long day, you know, I need to really as

17:00

a little bit have a headache. Brat.

17:02

Right, it sounds logical. Most

17:04

of the people in your world will probably buy it, but

17:06

it really is just these two voices working

17:09

against you. So what

17:11

you do instead is you want to be able to hear the

17:13

voices and then talk back to them, like

17:15

hear them what they really are. And what we tell

17:18

people in coaching is if you have a result, you

17:20

want to get to whatever that result might

17:22

be. Any reason why you can't

17:24

get to the result, or any reason why you can't

17:26

do anything that will equal that result is your

17:29

chicken or your brat. That's it. Like,

17:31

we keep it really simple. So if I'm working with the client,

17:33

they're like, hey, I want to go start this cool

17:35

business, and they're giving me a list of

17:37

all the reasons why they can part

17:40

I like chicken brat, chicken brat, chicken brat.

17:42

Like I completely throw it out, like,

17:44

come back with the reasons why you can't. But

17:46

Chris, I know some pretty powerful people

17:48

who resemble these

17:51

negative traits. So how

17:53

did they get to where they are? And

17:56

evidently they're getting away with it, aren't they.

17:58

We don't always listen to our chick in our breath. There

18:01

are definitely times where we know ourselves

18:03

and we're like, this is my stick, I know I do this,

18:05

and then we act in spite of it. The

18:08

thing for most people is that there are definite

18:11

areas that you know I would

18:13

call them areas of opportunities

18:16

or cavities in your world that

18:18

you're always suffering and in some way,

18:21

So for all of us, there's always an area like

18:23

For for me personally, my career is

18:25

not one of those areas. I'm usually pretty

18:27

thriving in my career. I do what I say,

18:29

I get clearing where I want to go, I you

18:31

know, buck up even when I'm scared, I speak

18:34

up, I you know, take the risks, etcetera.

18:37

Other parts of my life I eat relationships

18:39

weren't always that way, specifically friendships.

18:42

So in my friendships I would always

18:44

be suffering. And the reason

18:46

why I was suffering so much was because

18:49

I was scared and I didn't know how

18:51

to meet people. I felt uncomfortable making

18:53

into personal connections. I was really

18:55

good at surface level, but when it came

18:57

to really let you know who I am terrifying.

19:00

And so in that way, that's

19:02

where I need to go do the most work

19:05

on elevating myself and not listening to my

19:07

chicken and my brat. If I keep it as simple

19:09

as like as those two principles

19:11

are so for people, you're going to hear

19:13

it in people all the time. But you're looking

19:16

for the places where you're constantly in survival

19:18

mode, or as I like to say, getting it

19:20

is what it is results anywhere you

19:22

hear someone saying, it just is what it is. You know, my whole

19:24

family is overweight. It just is what it is. I'm bad

19:26

with money. Just is what it is. That's

19:29

where you're listening to the chicken and the brat and they're

19:31

running the show. You're not living in your higher

19:33

self. You're living in that like survival

19:35

mechanism that we all have a very

19:37

back part of our brains. So

19:39

you and I are actually the exact opposite.

19:42

So I'm an expert friend. I have this

19:44

like safety net of relationships,

19:47

have a thriving marriage, a thriving

19:49

friend group like that's never an

19:51

issue. My birthday parties are like stuff

19:53

of legend. But in terms of

19:56

my career, I don't know if I've I've been

19:58

listening to the chicken and the brat to all, and

20:00

maybe we alternate between those depending on

20:02

the day. We do, We absolutely do. If

20:05

you want, I'm happy to hear some of your

20:07

chicken and rat voices and help you. Oh,

20:10

well, you know, I think the chicken

20:13

is is that sometimes when it comes

20:15

to money, we engage in short term thinking

20:17

because we're thinking about you know, like I

20:20

want to do X, Y and Z, and I need

20:22

money for that. But you know that's

20:24

fear driven, and the brat is

20:26

more of the hy Aren't I already

20:29

here when I feel like I've done the amount of

20:31

work to be there? So I feel

20:33

like those Do those encapsulate

20:35

those two ideas pretty well? Yeah? Yeah,

20:37

definitely. And then when you just a

20:39

question, when you hear these voices, do you react

20:42

to them, like do you act in spite of them? Or

20:44

do you stay stuck because of them? Or

20:47

on repeat? Because again, by the way of saying it,

20:50

no, I think I deal with him. I think I

20:52

talk back naturally. I think I'm

20:54

more of a brat than I am a chicken. I'm

20:56

pretty fearless, and the brat can

20:59

get in the way of some legitimate

21:01

personal growth if I had to grade myself.

21:03

So once you know right now you can do

21:05

something about it, and then don't be a

21:08

brad about doing something about it. Is that feedback?

21:10

Right? The thing about the brat is

21:12

that it just prolongs our greatness.

21:15

It's just every single time, it just prolongs our

21:17

greatness. Like any time I hear a client stuck

21:19

in brad, I don't want to you can't make me too tie, I

21:21

don't feel like it too busy, whatever it might be.

21:24

I'm just like, you're just gonna take three more months to

21:26

lose that weight or to you know, to your

21:28

week at the promotion or whatever it might

21:30

be, Like why are we prolonging this? Like stop it?

21:33

So if I feel sometimes when

21:35

we put it in the context of space and time,

21:37

because we really do get like time is

21:40

finite, is we're going to run out of it. We do

21:42

want to get things done by the time or forty or fifty

21:44

or married or whatever. So if I can put it in

21:46

that space and time, it sort of hushes

21:49

the voice of the brat and put some fire

21:51

under people's butts too well,

21:54

and if I degrade myself. My biggest debilitation

21:56

is asking for help. You probably have

21:59

a lot of clients that you that I hate asking.

22:01

I'm just like, oh, I'm a brat,

22:03

I don't ask. You should give it to me based on my

22:05

own merit got you clear.

22:07

Yeah, And then by the way, you know, people don't know that you

22:09

need the help unless you tell them people are really

22:12

so self absorbed. They have no idea what's

22:14

happening with you. They're so busy with themselves.

22:16

But see, I'm the opposite, Chris. I know what's

22:19

happening with everyone else, because remember I'm

22:21

that relationship. I know people

22:23

like I know what's going on in their lives. I keep

22:26

up. But I guess I just expect everyone to be like

22:28

me, which is fundamentally very misgutten,

22:31

Yeah, exactly. We're

22:35

gonna take a quick break here, be right

22:38

back. Strategy

22:41

has a lot to do with timing and are

22:43

their opportunity windows. And you

22:45

know, you have this Chicken and the Brats side show

22:47

going on. Sometimes there's no time

22:49

and place for everything. And I

22:52

imagine that's when the Chicken and the Brat screamed

22:54

the loudest, don't they. People

22:57

use time as an excuse all

22:59

the time. We use time like I've run

23:01

out of time. I don't have enough time.

23:04

It's too late for me. I'm too old, I'm

23:06

too young. You know, we have different ways.

23:09

So time comes up quite often, and it falls

23:11

into both categories. Sometimes because

23:13

of fear of maybe like looking

23:16

bad or getting rejected or being judged

23:18

in some way and other times it's just

23:20

your brat not wanting to deal with having to

23:23

have a schedule or having to follow

23:25

a process. It's definally as fast as you

23:27

want it or whatever it might be. So

23:29

time comes up in everything. Truly,

23:32

it's the currency of our life, and it

23:34

is always something when I'm working with

23:36

clients that we're dealing with, specifically

23:39

as it pertains to chicken and brat. What I've

23:41

found with my clients is that every

23:43

once in a while, the chicken the brat get married and

23:45

they have babies. It's

23:50

some really some really toxic

23:52

gas babies. I'm imagining babies

23:55

right. So the babies that they have,

23:58

the most popular ones are procrastination

24:01

and overwhelmed. Most of the most popular

24:03

babies. Also we can throw on their worry,

24:05

you know, perfectionism, confusion, over

24:08

analysis, etcetera. But truly, what

24:10

this means is that if you think

24:12

about procrastination overwhelmed, it

24:14

is either you're you're brat or your

24:17

in your chicken working to keep

24:19

you stuck. So specifically in procrastination,

24:21

which I'm a procrastinator, It's my favorite

24:24

thing. I do it every day, multiple

24:26

times a day, even though I'm a coach, and

24:28

I've been so for eleven years. I still procrastinate

24:30

on things I don't want to do. In procrastination,

24:32

the brat comes first. In procrastination,

24:35

you don't want to, you know, feel like it, You'll do it later. It's

24:37

annoying tomorrow, somebody else can handle

24:39

it for me. And then what happens in the end

24:41

is that your chicken, your fear kicks and it's

24:43

like, oh, I can't you know, let somebody know. I blew

24:46

it off, and so you do something

24:48

at the eleventh hour. And then procrastinators

24:50

always believe they work better under pressure because

24:53

they pull it out at the eleven every

24:56

single time, all the

24:58

time. So that's procrastination, right. You're brat

25:00

doesn't want to and then your chicken eventually kicks

25:02

in to save you. And so there's like this fear

25:04

dynamic and then on the overwhelmed

25:07

side, um, the chicken comes first.

25:09

Right. You have a lot of responsibilities.

25:11

You don't want to ask for help, you don't want put boundaries

25:13

in place, you don't want to push back. It's all falls

25:15

on you. Only you can do it. And then your

25:18

brat like refuses to ask for help. Right,

25:22

So in time. These

25:24

are the things we deal with with people quite

25:27

frequently. So it's important to know like your

25:29

flavor with time, because what

25:31

I'm procrastinating, what I'm really doing is

25:34

wasting a bunch of time and suffering

25:36

multiple times throughout my day because it's

25:38

the thing is owning me because I have to get it done. I'm avoiding

25:41

it, kicking the can down the road. And then an overwhelmed

25:43

people end up feeling really resentful because

25:46

they're doing it all themselves and they're not getting help and they're

25:48

not maintaining their boundaries. So with

25:50

my clients, we really work to figure

25:52

out which one is your flavor and put

25:54

good rules in place for each of these. Oh

25:57

well then I'm just I'm just gonna change

26:01

my answer now. I think my baby

26:03

is chicken. So

26:06

you might be brought in many other places,

26:08

but with time, you might go chicken first. That's

26:11

fantastic. Yeah, So it's an interesting

26:14

it's an interesting hybrid of this toxic

26:16

behavior that we all encounter, exactly.

26:19

Yeah. And then the thing about strategy

26:21

within an organization or if you're trying to move

26:23

something forward. The best story

26:26

I have here is something that I experienced

26:28

when I was working in corporate America.

26:30

In my first career, as I like to say, I

26:33

was an executive in the retail world, and I

26:35

wanted to push forward a really big initiative

26:37

that was going to save the company money. Like

26:39

it was very clear we were going to save money,

26:42

but it required some process changes, and

26:44

I kept pitching it and pitching it and

26:46

coalescing and coalescing, and it took

26:49

almost five years to roll this thing

26:51

out, and it

26:53

took a lot of time. There was a big investment, and part

26:55

of it was we had some leadership changes, but the

26:57

other part of it really was changing hard

27:00

and minds because even though we knew we were losing

27:02

money, it was hard for people to get that

27:04

if we took some time investment to

27:07

change some processes, it would really have this

27:09

big payoff on the other side. And so

27:11

part of you know, managing with

27:13

time and getting things done is

27:15

that you really do have to tell the truth about

27:18

how much time things are going to take. And

27:20

part of what we need to tell the truth about is

27:23

not just how much we can get done in our day to day but

27:25

also how much time you have to invest

27:27

in converting hearts and minds

27:30

and preparing yourself in um,

27:33

making sure that you're set up to have conversations,

27:35

making sure you're set up to go deal with what you need to

27:37

go deal with, because that of itself takes up time, and

27:39

then we get frustrated when we don't get things done quickly

27:42

because we don't we forget all the

27:44

prep work we really do need. Wow,

27:47

what happened in the end? Did they implement what you proposed

27:49

at that company? Yes, they did

27:51

finally, and then we were saving all this money and it was

27:53

like, why don't we do this sooner? And I was like, you guys, I've

27:56

been saying this so that

28:00

it was actually one of my big

28:02

you know, personal accomplishments in my

28:04

career, especially

28:06

at that time, and it made a big difference

28:09

for the whole company. But it did take something to roll

28:11

it out again. There were multiple people involved,

28:13

so anybody listening who's trying to

28:15

shift something in an organization, if

28:17

you're dealing with multiple parties, multiple

28:19

departments, multiple leaders, there's

28:22

a lot of personalities. But on

28:24

top of that, whenever you're presenting a change, what

28:26

people worry about the most is how their

28:28

reputation is going to take a hit if

28:30

we make this change because people

28:33

feel if they set something up that they're responsible

28:35

for and it says something about them. So the minute you're

28:37

like, let's change something, there's

28:40

like a personal dig or something

28:42

that gets triggered internally about themselves.

28:44

That that's why they revolt, even when they know

28:47

you're presenting something that's a great idea. So

28:50

let's talk a little bit about family businesses.

28:52

How does this play out. The thing about

28:54

family businesses is that they're super complex.

28:57

So every business obviously has its

28:59

own politics and the bureaucracy that's set

29:01

up because of the hierarchy that is

29:03

in place, the family businesses have this extra

29:05

layer. And the the real

29:08

problem and family businesses is

29:10

that if the family dynamics

29:12

are not clean, they spill over

29:14

into the organization. So then it can cause

29:17

additional um problems

29:19

in the company because the people who

29:21

are hired to work in the organization

29:24

and support the family business cannot

29:26

penetrate the family dynamic. It's

29:28

impossible. Whereas in an organization

29:30

where that doesn't exist, you can penetrate these dynamics.

29:33

You can become a trusted advisor, you can

29:35

work your way up to build the sprit rapport. But

29:37

in a family that doesn't happen. So

29:40

anyone who's running a family business really

29:42

has to be super responsible

29:44

for keeping their own personal relationships with

29:46

those people that that are in the company

29:48

super clean, meaning there are no

29:51

upsets that you don't resolve, there is

29:53

no thing left unsaid,

29:56

and that you're constantly revisiting like

29:58

the roles and responsibility and you

30:00

set up because it gets very muddled in

30:02

family businesses and that you're continuously

30:05

refining those things and what gets in the way,

30:07

if we talk about it from a chicken and brat standpoint,

30:09

is that you know, in families, there's

30:12

a lot of like you can't make me like. There's a lot

30:14

of these, especially with siblings running companies, there's

30:16

a lot of like dynamic where

30:19

um, you know, it's like the sibling rivalry

30:21

almost right. So you really

30:23

have to be willing to have

30:26

a level of maturity when you're going

30:28

to go run a family business that

30:30

actually allows you to deal with

30:32

these super like

30:35

like I might call them super wounds right from like

30:37

being a kid or having experienced so much with someone.

30:39

Is also true when friends

30:42

or people have been friends for a long time and they start

30:44

a business, like co founders working together and they've

30:46

been friends since you know, high school or college.

30:48

This is a very similar dynamic. You have

30:51

to be willing to like resolve things

30:53

quickly and not get sucked into

30:55

it doesn't matter what's the big deal. I don't

30:57

feel like it and that in the mood Braddy thinking

31:00

because it's going to impact your bottom line. And I

31:02

see it all the time ever, with plenty of family businesses,

31:05

uh in my career, and it

31:07

really does get in the way. Let's

31:10

assume, for simplicity, you have a family

31:12

business and you have chicken on one side and

31:14

bratt on the other, or maybe a toxic baby

31:17

with a little element of both, right, but

31:19

you know you have these two opposing sides.

31:22

Does resolution begin with putting settling

31:25

the personal stuff first? Yeah?

31:27

The person stiff has to come first because

31:29

it always colors

31:31

what you're doing. There's two sides of a relationship.

31:34

There's the rapport side, which is how you feel about someone,

31:36

do you respect them, do you vibe with them? And

31:38

then there's a responsibility side, like do you get your

31:40

job done right? Are you meeting the deliverables

31:43

of your role? And we all know this, We've all worked

31:45

with people who we like, love, and

31:47

then they're not so great at their job right.

31:49

And then and

31:51

we've had the opposite experience

31:54

where we work with somebody who's great with their job,

31:56

but we just can't stand them. We just hope that they're gonna

31:58

mess up so they can go right. So we need to

32:00

keep the two sides and equilibrium, always

32:02

responsibility and report. So the

32:05

report pieces where the deep respect comes

32:07

in. And if you don't deeply respect somebody,

32:09

if you have upsets with them, it's impossible

32:12

to really get things done. There's no workability

32:14

in a relationship another way of saying it.

32:17

So for anyone who's in a

32:19

family owned business or working with the

32:21

best friend, or working with your husband

32:23

or wife. I tried to work with my husband. It's

32:26

did not go up. Almost killed each other really

32:28

truly, it was quite impressive. The

32:30

amount of fighting the problem

32:33

is that you can't solve

32:35

it on your own. You really do need to

32:37

go have an outside advisor to

32:39

support you. So whether that's a therapist or a

32:41

counselor, or like a business advisor or

32:44

a coach, you need somebody to come

32:46

penetrate the dynamic because you can't

32:48

see it yourself. So it's

32:50

really telling the truth about you

32:53

need to, you know, throw your hands up in the air and go

32:56

get the help. Especially if you're trying to

32:58

run a business and grow it and

33:00

scale it, it's going to be impossible without some third

33:02

party, neutral feedback.

33:06

So let's say that you

33:08

have just been selected to

33:11

run a company, right, or you're you've made

33:13

your way up to executive level, right, you're

33:15

in the c suite as they say in the business world,

33:17

and for millennials that's starting to happen, especially

33:19

for the older ones. What type

33:22

of preparations can you make before you

33:24

step into that role? A little profil axis,

33:26

so we don't like feed the chicken and the brand. One

33:29

of the things that is really important for people

33:31

who are stepping into larger leadership

33:33

roles is to get that your job now becomes

33:36

about people and

33:38

not about process. When

33:40

you are in lower leadership roles, you're

33:42

really in charge of making sure a function

33:45

is working, and so that's a lot of management.

33:47

It's a lot of understanding process policies, protocol

33:50

procedures, and holding people accountable to that. It

33:52

also requires some leadership which is about people

33:55

and making sure that there's high morale and

33:57

people feel respected and cared for, etcetera. But

33:59

the high or up you go, your

34:01

primary role is really about

34:03

leadership, which is really about

34:06

having the right relationships and knowing

34:08

how to motivate, inspire, influence,

34:10

change um and get people

34:12

to really be willing to take risks

34:15

and advise the people underneath

34:17

you to make decisions. And you're

34:19

kind of remove yourself from the process

34:21

if you will. And so for anyone stepping

34:24

up into that role, it's important

34:26

to know that when you go have

34:28

to work with people, it's super

34:30

subjective. People are complicated,

34:32

they need different things from you. Uh,

34:35

your colleagues are gonna need different things from

34:37

you than you know, the one they once did. You

34:39

know, no longer they get really going to come to you to have

34:42

process conversations are going to come have like bigger,

34:45

impactful, influential conversations.

34:48

So you really do need to get how to deal

34:50

with people. And if you're someone who has not developed

34:52

your people skills over time or

34:55

learned how to influence or inspire change

34:57

or get buy in, invest in that

34:59

because you're chicken is going to freak out.

35:02

Okay, that's right.

35:04

That's like doesn't want to look bad, it doesn't

35:06

want to get embarrassed, doesn't want to get in trouble. That

35:08

like that part of you. And so for

35:10

some people, the chicken part of them

35:13

comes out as people

35:15

pleasing or a little bit meek or

35:18

withholding information or avoiding conflict.

35:20

That that's one version. But for others it comes

35:22

out like you're arrogant. It comes out like

35:25

you're dominating. Right, It's it's

35:27

the same thing. Your chicken is still out playing

35:29

out in you, but it's just it's presenting

35:31

itself in a different form. And so either

35:34

way, no matter which form it takes

35:36

on for you, it's going to get in the way because

35:38

you can't inspire anybody

35:40

from fear. So if you're coming from fear for yourself,

35:42

it will never work. So you do have to spend

35:44

the time to learn how to feel comfortable

35:47

in those leadership conversations, including

35:49

how to have difficult conversations with people,

35:52

how to make sure that people feel like

35:54

you see them for who they are, and

35:57

um, if you don't have that train and go get it. Let's

35:59

talk about a hot button issue these days

36:02

in the C suite, which is diversity

36:04

and inclusion. And I think we all practice that we

36:06

are we're past the whole is this

36:08

good or bad? But the differences,

36:11

you know, people like Warren Buffett of

36:13

course say like, well we

36:15

do it and that's that's enough, Like

36:18

yeah, whatever, And then you have the crowd

36:20

that says, no, no, no, we don't

36:23

do enough. And if you don't do X,

36:25

Y and Z, you're just not going to get

36:27

what you want. And there's a big schism

36:29

in the corporate world about this, should

36:31

we mandate diversity and inclusion?

36:34

So the thing about diversity and inclusion

36:36

is that the facts say it all. So

36:39

companies that are more diverse produced

36:41

better results. Um, they're more innovative, they're

36:43

fast to go to market, they get

36:46

better market share. So the facts

36:48

really do back up that we need to have

36:51

general rules and policies around

36:53

how diverse companies are and so internally

36:56

as a company, but also the standards as

36:58

a society that we hold our organization,

37:00

especially the big conglomerates. So the

37:03

answer from a fact standpoint is yes.

37:05

But the truth is you can't really change

37:08

anything physically unless you deal

37:10

with people's in our workings, Like it's impossible,

37:12

And this is what we butt up against all the time. I joke

37:15

because I say this is why I have a job. Companies

37:17

always want to spend money on some process

37:19

or system and then they implemented

37:22

and it's the same result because they didn't spend

37:24

the time on changing the people. You need

37:26

to change the people first, sorry, because the people

37:28

are still doing the process, they're still using the system.

37:30

It doesn't matter if you change it, there's

37:32

gonna be the same. Like you're the same in Hawaii

37:35

as you are in New York City. Like you didn't change,

37:37

you just change the circumstance. So

37:39

um, it's important for sure that we do

37:42

have rules, and yes

37:44

it matters from a fact standpoint, But for people

37:47

who are in leadership but they really do have to

37:49

get is that the only

37:51

way you can actually not

37:53

just have diversity, which is pretty

37:56

easy to do. It's pretty easy to go create a

37:58

plan to say we're gonna be more to verse,

38:00

we're going to have ten percent of our leadership

38:02

be women, or whatever it might be. It's

38:04

pretty easy to set up for yourself and then create

38:06

the steps to get there. But that just

38:08

is one part of the equation. It's the inclusion component

38:12

that matters. An inclusion is way

38:14

more than just having you know, a couple

38:17

of women in your c suite or you

38:19

know, diverse cultural

38:21

mix with people in your employee base. Inclusion

38:24

is about making sure people have voices and

38:26

that those voices are amplified and

38:29

that you're listening to the voices, and that

38:31

requires cultural change and it

38:33

really does mean that you could change the

38:35

inner workings of your organization period. It does

38:37

mean that current organizations

38:39

are not set up truly to be inclusive.

38:42

They're they're not. We've made lots of changes

38:44

over the years, but they're not deeply

38:46

set up to make it acceptable

38:49

for someone who wants to wear, you know, a head

38:51

piece on their hair and their head

38:54

to go to work like that hasn't really been

38:56

a part of what we've created in the world

38:58

we've have. We now have some policies

39:01

like the Crown Laws have gone into place

39:03

and in some states to

39:06

allow for that, but it's

39:08

not fully integrated. So companies really

39:10

do have to take on practices of inclusion,

39:13

and so what that means, like from a very practical

39:15

standpoint, is ensuring that

39:18

you have employee resource groups

39:20

so that employees that you hire from

39:23

different backgrounds that are not part of your you

39:25

know, the current employee base, have a

39:27

way to coalesce and have a way to

39:29

bring forth process and systems that they want

39:31

to see implemented, as well as policies

39:34

that they want to see changed. And then it's important

39:36

to be able to amplify those voices

39:38

and what that means is inviting them to

39:40

the table and actually asking, truly

39:43

asking for the opinions most

39:45

people feel, especially when we're

39:48

in a situation of a dominant

39:50

culture. All right, so I'm going to be like really

39:53

pretty basic here, but like white man

39:55

leader. Okay. From their perspective,

39:58

they feel like, while you're in the room, you should be able

40:00

to speak, right. We gave you the room

40:03

for someone, and I'm speaking to somebody who has

40:05

been a leader and a woman and sat

40:07

in a room with a bunch of men. It's not It

40:09

doesn't make me feel comfortable to speak. It didn't.

40:12

I had to be pushed because

40:14

I didn't think if I said something I'd be listened

40:16

to or paid attention to, or

40:18

anything would even change after I said it. So, as

40:21

a leader, you really do have to set the tone

40:23

of what we're gonna what you want people to function

40:25

like, and then push the conversation,

40:28

asked the questions, invite the opinions,

40:31

listen to them, mull them over. That's

40:33

the way you really do create

40:35

inclusion and organization. So that's

40:37

what we have to go to. The The goal

40:39

is not diversity. The goal is inclusion

40:41

because that's when the ideas are going to flow,

40:43

that's when the innovation is going to flow. And

40:46

in fact, the profitability comes from

40:48

the inclusion, not the diversity, because

40:51

diversity is just uh

40:53

united colors of benefitine billboard, right,

40:55

It's just like showing that we are

40:58

and then I mean you could do that anywhere where

41:00

I all have different color hair, we're all different

41:02

hights, you know, we have different genders.

41:04

But that doesn't really mean anything unless

41:06

you have inclusion, does it exactly

41:09

right? And that's the thing that most companies forget right,

41:11

and it's it's sort of it kind of annoys me that we talk

41:13

about like we usually call call

41:15

it diversity, where we go, okay, so let's talk about diversity,

41:17

and it's like, no, there's diversity and inclusion.

41:20

And now we've added belonging right to the

41:22

end of this list, because it really

41:24

does matter that it's inclusive

41:26

and then people feel like they belong. When someone feels

41:28

that they belong okay, and we all know this from own

41:30

experience. When you when you're working somewhere and

41:32

you feel like you belong there, like people care about

41:35

you, they know you, they get you. You work

41:37

hard for that company, you give a you

41:40

bring all all you can to your

41:42

job and to your people, and so that's what we want.

41:44

So just hiring people who are of

41:47

diverse backgrounds will not change anything.

41:49

And well, and also

41:52

and just just to weigh in here, I

41:55

think we focus too much on color and

41:57

gender. There's a lot of different types of diversity.

42:00

And obviously color and gender are important,

42:02

but political diversity, geographic

42:04

diversity, economic diversity,

42:06

and just general philosophical diversity

42:09

are very strong. And unfortunately,

42:11

I think a lot of the demographic

42:13

that you were talking about, white males,

42:15

feel like they're being disadvantaged by

42:18

diversity and inclusion. So I always want to make

42:20

sure whenever I talk about this issue,

42:22

is that equality means equality for everyone?

42:25

Of course, yes, yes,

42:27

yes, so, and I that's something I practice

42:29

at my organization, and I really

42:32

feel strongly about you know, rural

42:34

voices and religious

42:36

voices and atheist voices, and

42:39

not just gender and color, which are

42:41

patently obvious, but you know different

42:43

politics, liberal, conservative, moderate,

42:45

a political Having those voices

42:48

at the table prevent disaster and

42:50

starve out the chicken and the brat in many cases,

42:52

don't they. So tell

42:55

me a little bit about your company. So you

42:57

do workshops? How do people

42:59

deal with the truth? Serum? Do you walk

43:01

in and they're like, oh my god, who is this lady?

43:03

Does this lady come from hell to come? Like

43:07

if you showed up at my work, I would love

43:10

it, but I know a lot of people who would not

43:12

like it. So how does that work? Um?

43:15

You know, what I tell my clients is that sometimes

43:17

you're going to be so happy that you're talking

43:19

to me and feel like I'm giving you a big, warm

43:22

hug. And other times it's gonna be kicking the ask and you're

43:24

gonna hate me and probably you might want

43:26

to fire me, But don't say

43:28

that. The truth is that, you

43:30

know, people hire a coach because they

43:33

need someone to coach them, Like you don't hire a personal

43:35

trainers to say, yeah, let's sit down and like drink

43:37

this. That's not

43:39

what you hire them for. You can do that at your own So

43:42

yeah, that's that's the perspective I offered

43:44

to clients the truth. Really is

43:46

that telling the truth. What's

43:49

real about that is most people know the truth, especially

43:51

in companies when people what

43:54

we do in companies and what I do a lot

43:56

when I'm working individuals executives, is like, go

43:58

have them what are people talking

44:01

about? What are people saying about you? What are we saying about

44:03

this initiative, this policy, whatever, And get

44:05

the unadulterated feedback what is

44:07

it? Because that is the reality

44:09

that everyone's living in. That's the truth, and

44:12

we don't want to deal with the truth. Another way of looking

44:14

at is what people gossip about in an organization

44:17

is usually the truth of what's really happening.

44:19

Sometimes it's you know, inflated drama, but mostly

44:21

you know, they're gossiping about the reality

44:24

of the problems and we and we need to

44:26

be clear that I meet to go deal with that, and most

44:28

leaders don't want to deal with it. It's annoying. But

44:31

above and beyond that, dealing with the truth is

44:33

messy. Dealing with the truth sometimes

44:35

does mean you got to blow up something like you have to

44:37

fire someone, or you have to deal with the issue

44:39

that you it's annoying to deal with an outdated

44:41

policy whatever, whatever, it might be,

44:44

and so um part of what

44:47

I try to do in my teaching, and we

44:49

do it Handel Group with our coaching and our workshops,

44:52

is we try to make it really comfortable

44:54

to tell the truth and provide tools

44:57

to people for how to go deal with whatever mess

44:59

might come from telling the truth. We do

45:01

that by a lot of levity and humor,

45:04

as you can hear being a little funny today

45:06

and you know, making fun of myself too, but that's really

45:08

important. Levity and humor is important. We

45:10

can't deal with anything that we leave in the darkness

45:12

if you will. And then there's

45:15

also the providing the tools

45:17

for how to be accountable for yourself

45:20

and own your own

45:22

mistakes, own your own dark

45:24

side, as we like to say, anything that might get in the

45:26

way, like your personality that might get in the

45:29

way, or your chicken and your breath that might get in the way,

45:31

to be able to own that and model for other people

45:33

how to be because no one is going to do

45:35

what you say. They're going to rise

45:37

to your level or drop to your level, depending

45:40

on how you're showing up. And then we

45:42

give practical tools for how to go resolve

45:44

conflict and deal with it

45:46

in in a very practical way, like literally

45:48

how to have difficult conversations, Like there's a format

45:51

for that to do it effectively. So

45:53

that's how we show up in an organization, and

45:56

it really is getting people to get

45:58

that. If you don't deal with the truth, was like, the reality

46:01

is it's going to rear its ugly head, you

46:03

might as well be the one proactively like poking

46:05

at it to have it come up and you

46:07

prepared for it, versus the blow up you didn't

46:10

see coming or you saw coming and we're hoping it wasn't

46:12

going to happen on your watch. So you say,

46:14

authenticity breeds confidence.

46:16

But let's face it, Chris, So you and I are kind

46:18

of cut from the same cloth. Maybe not in the Chicken

46:21

and the brats sense, but you and I are a lot

46:23

to handle. I mean, you know, when we

46:25

walk into a room, it's just like it's

46:27

like, you know, we're there. Do you do

46:30

you find yourself apologizing for being such

46:32

a big presence or have you just embrace that

46:34

and just roll with it? Um.

46:37

You know, I grew up in a

46:39

Greek immigrant family. My parents didn't

46:41

speak English, they were super poor, and

46:44

we didn't have a lot of money, you know, growing up,

46:46

and then my parents had money, but we never acted

46:49

like it, so I thought we were always poor speakers,

46:53

right, I had the cheap game art sneakers and all my friends

46:55

had nikesh and I really

46:57

grew up in a place where I didn't belong

47:00

and I did also some weird things. So I used

47:02

to dye my hair blonde, and I used to wear blue

47:04

contacts and tan, and I really

47:07

didn't know how to

47:10

be in my own skin for a long time. And

47:13

what I realized growing up, and

47:15

you know, I was like a weird kid who didn't want to go to parties.

47:17

I wanted to go to Barnes and Noble and read books about

47:19

like geopolitics. Well,

47:22

I I, I, that's what I did. You were in the

47:24

weird one. Maybe they were the weird ones

47:26

Christmas who

47:29

it was a party and drink. I want to go to

47:31

Barnes and Noble like. So the point

47:33

of this being is that for a long time, I really

47:36

like struggled and I

47:38

didn't really care that I didn't fit in, but then also was really

47:40

longing for it. And what

47:42

I realized is I'm just gonna

47:44

go be me like I'm

47:47

this is it, this is who I am, and I'm going to flaunt

47:49

that first and at

47:51

what you know, what we do know? Right? And I point business

47:54

had had on for a second, like in

47:56

a marketing from marketing context, you

47:58

are the point of difference of a brand is

48:00

what matters. There's plenty of people who do what you do, But what's

48:02

your point of difference? What's what's the reason

48:05

for your being? What do you offer a client

48:07

and special from somebody else? And when I realized

48:10

as I was, as I got older and

48:12

just really was practicing flaunting

48:15

my weirdness as I like to call it back then, was

48:17

that that's my point of difference. That's

48:19

why somebody would pick me over somebody else. So

48:22

you know, it's it's what makes

48:24

me attractive to certain people. Not all

48:27

right? And then when when I really got that, it

48:30

was so much easier to just fully embrace

48:32

why who I was. And like you know, for those

48:34

other people who know me, I swear a lot, I talked

48:36

fast, I have a lot of opinions,

48:39

I have a lot of energy, like and I used to dim all

48:41

that down and I

48:43

got that, Wow, when I actually show up in that way,

48:46

I get much more

48:48

connection with people because I'm not managing

48:50

anything, so I'm not in my head as much. But then

48:53

also I'm able to build better relationships

48:55

and I'm happier for it. I really appreciate

48:57

your time. Where where could we find out more about you?

49:00

Oh? Yes, So for anyone who is interested

49:03

in corporate coaching or even

49:05

life coaching, you can check out handel group dot

49:07

com. You can find about all

49:09

of our offerings there. We also

49:11

have a digital coaching program

49:14

called Inner You, and this is a

49:16

self led program if you if you

49:18

know you need some coaching and support, but you don't have the

49:20

time, investment or the money at the moment. Uh

49:23

Interer You is a self led program. We provide

49:25

a bunch of free resources that go along with the

49:27

program, as well as master classes to

49:30

help you work on involving

49:32

a part of your life. And then

49:34

also, um, if you're just curious to see

49:36

where you rank, we have this quiz called the

49:38

Current Reality Quiz, and it

49:40

basically gives you an inventory of where

49:42

you are in your life relative

49:45

to what your dreams are and in based down

49:47

where your current reality is. So it gives you a good

49:49

sort of reflection point about what

49:51

you need to go work on. So I'd recommend taking

49:54

the current reality quiz to see where

49:56

you fall. Well, I'm

49:58

going to take that reality quiz. And on

50:00

that note, thank you Chris. All the best

50:03

to you and Mr Boyce, Thank

50:06

you was lovely chatting with you. Thanks

50:13

to all of you for joining me as we all

50:15

follow the profit together. And thanks a lot

50:17

to Chris. So she's leaning into her creativity

50:19

and intuition. She's also funny and

50:22

a badass, so I thank her for her

50:24

time and I'm really going to take her lessons to

50:26

heart. And of course I would be amiss

50:28

not to thank my team Mr

50:31

Emiliano lemon Cheyenne Read, Scott

50:33

Handler, and our executive producers

50:35

of course, former Speaker of the House, New King Rich

50:38

and his right hand lady Debbie Myers.

50:40

I'm David Grosso. If you haven't noticed by now, If

50:42

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