Greetings Footballland guests, patrons and earholders! 

There's a growing excitement here at Footballland HQ. The park is slowly taking shape. We haven't yet built anything as such, but if 90% of the work is in the design, then Footballland is 28% complete! 

We are thrilled to announce THREE more rides for your pleasure. 

Arsene Wenger's World Cup Mayhem 

Le Prof is a big advocate for ruining things by overdoing them - just look at his relentless lobbying for a World Cup every two years. Nobody but Wenger wants this to happen, so we at Footballland are prepared to do the world a favour. We're going to pay the ex-Arsenal boss £6 million a year to wander around Footballland making guests at the park overdo their fun instead. Yes, with Arsene's Double It, you won't be able to stop enjoying yourself, even if it physically hurts! 

Shit House 

Not content with hiring Pepe to defecate on customers' car bonnets, Ryan wants yet another display of the dark arts inside the world's first football theme park. Shit House involves one lucky punter having their home transported brick by brick to Qatar to stage a special football version of the 90s kids' TV show Fun House, presented by Carlos Valderrama and the Da Silva twins. 

See No Medieval, Hear No Medieval, Speak No Medieval 

Mark has been on Wikipedia again. This time he's disappeared down the ancient ball games rabbit hole (ooh-er) and proposes a giant brawl with a sheep's bladder one day a year at Footballland. Whoever's holding the ball last, wins! 

Have you got a ride idea? Send us it and we'll discuss it on the show!

Love, Anthony, Mark and Ryan

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