Greetings, Captain Footballland here!

I have exciting things to report: our intrepid trio continue to fight for the greater footballing good – battling interminable desert sand storms, blistering temperature and general indifference – the park progress. Flying high above the footprint of Footballland I can imagine the splendour that awaits, which is good because it's just sand at the minute. BUT meanwhile our brave threesome not only continue the build, but bring us THREE new attractions too!!!

Robbie Fowler's Growler

While the boys struggled to imagine Robbie Fowler in any other era than the 1990s, they luckily didn't struggle to imagine him with a massive bush and a series of animals that growl...

Calf and a Half

Petting zoo, centaur ride, I think not!! How about a field full of sexy, sexy, sexy leg shaped sexual aids. Imagine 'Field of Dreams' meets 'A Christmas Story' and you're about half way there.

The Referee's A W*nker

The less said about this the better. Give it a listen. If you can.

Yours lovingly,

Anthony Richardson (CEO)

Mark Davison (Lord Sir Chief Ride Engineer)

Ryan Baxter (Intern)

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