0:00

Today on the podcast, we have a segment

0:02

of Ask Rachel where you ask

0:05

your questions and I answer.

0:07

Today on the show, I answer two

0:10

really deep and beautiful questions.

0:12

The first one around pregnancy

0:15

and how to navigate the world

0:18

of other people maybe not agreeing

0:20

with the decisions that you've made for yourself

0:22

and your baby throughout this time

0:24

of your life. The second question

0:26

is centered around tea as

0:28

in tea in ceremony and the

0:31

ritual of tea. And I share

0:33

the very intimate and for

0:35

me extremely sacred story of how

0:37

tea came my way and my

0:39

best advice for how you can deepen

0:41

your relationship with tea. Too.

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1:17

Let's dive in.

1:21

It's a Friday today and that

1:23

means it's time for a brand new

1:25

episode of Frum the Heart

1:28

with Rachel Brathen. And I

1:30

am so happy that you're here. I

1:33

am sitting with my

1:35

hand to my heart right now,

1:38

another hand to my belly. The

1:40

way I Just find myself

1:42

sitting a lot lately just

1:44

a moment here all the time to connect

1:46

with my heart, my emotions, and

1:49

to connect with little one

1:51

who's currently I don't know if he's doing

1:53

somersaults in my belly

1:57

or if he's just like, trying to

1:59

make more space, but he's been really, really

2:01

active in the past couple of days. And I

2:03

I feel him in this moment just because

2:06

kicking around, which is so lovely.

2:09

And I'm sitting here feeling very

2:12

very grateful right now.

2:14

Looking out through the window. We had a little

2:16

bit of snow last night. We've had this

2:18

weird weather in Sweden where it goes from really

2:21

cold and snowing and beautiful

2:23

to wet and muddy

2:26

and rainy and then back to

2:28

cold and snow and beautiful. It's like the weather

2:30

doesn't know what it wants. Right

2:32

now. But right now,

2:34

we have some snow I'm looking out at the

2:36

pine and the spruce trees outside and

2:39

the oak trees. We have a lot of oak trees

2:41

on our property. Sun

2:43

is shining today. As

2:46

I said that, like, it

2:48

just started literally streaming sunlight

2:51

into this room. Some must

2:53

have been just a little bit behind cloud, and now

2:55

it's just yeah, it lit the whole

2:57

space up. It's really gorgeous. And

3:01

I'm here. I

3:05

mean, I'm here every week. I'm here every day, every

3:07

moment of my life. But I'm

3:10

I'm here. I

3:12

feel a lot of gratitude in my

3:15

in my body

3:15

today.

3:16

Even though it hasn't been a particularly great

3:18

day, Isn't

3:21

it funny that if we practice

3:23

gratitude enough, we don't need

3:25

to have good and smooth and easy

3:27

going days for gratitude

3:30

to show up. Right? Usually,

3:33

all it takes is like a little bit of sunlight

3:35

or just a little moment

3:37

of joy or something

3:39

we find beautiful and then boom,

3:41

gratitude is just there.

3:45

The gratitude practices that we do on

3:47

the daily practice, my daily podcast, Every

3:49

Thursday, we have a gratitude practice,

3:52

and they really help me sitting

3:54

down to think of a new kind of

3:56

way to practice gratitude every week is

3:59

really helpful for my creativity around

4:01

gratitude, but also just

4:04

doing the practices every week.

4:06

They keep me really anchored in in my

4:08

faithfulness. So if

4:10

you ever need a little more gratitude and head on

4:12

over to the daily practice, the

4:14

daily podcast. You can find it wherever

4:17

you're listening to this podcast. My daily show

4:19

is also on there. And, yeah,

4:21

Thursdays are thankful Thursdays.

4:25

But how are

4:27

you? How

4:30

how are you? Today, we're gonna have

4:33

little bit I'm gonna find out a

4:35

little bit more of about how you are.

4:38

Today, we have an

4:40

episode of Ask Rachel. Here

4:42

on the show, and it's been a while. I

4:44

think it was pretty far really like

4:47

before Christmas ish. We didn't have

4:49

one in January, so I'm

4:51

excited to hear some of

4:53

your questions and just hear your voices

4:55

and have a little bit more of a conversation

4:57

on the pod today. As

5:00

usual, I haven't heard any of these

5:02

questions beforehand. I

5:05

just play one of the latest ones

5:07

and then we see where it takes us.

5:09

So before I do that, how

5:12

about we take just a minute right here

5:14

right now to to ground

5:16

a little bit? I can sense myself,

5:18

I'm out of breath. I'm

5:20

often out of breath. These

5:23

days. It's it's the

5:25

pregnancy for sure. Like, walking up the stairs,

5:27

I'm really out of breath. And sometimes when I'm recording

5:29

the podcast, talking makes

5:32

me, like, lose my breath a little bit.

5:35

So let's take a moment for me

5:37

and also for you. Just

5:41

to settle, to slow things down and

5:43

to ground. So if it feels

5:45

good, you can close your eyes

5:47

here. Yes. As I said,

5:49

I have a hand to my heart, a hand to my belly.

5:53

Maybe your hands want to gravitate elsewhere,

5:55

but you can take little

5:57

moment of extra connection by

5:59

placing your hand somewhere on top

6:02

of your own self. And

6:05

then let's breathe in and out through the nose,

6:08

but make that conscious effort

6:11

to slow everything down. When

6:14

I say slow down, I mean

6:15

slow, way down. Life

6:19

moves quickly. You

6:22

know, or days tend to

6:24

pass

6:25

pretty fast. And

6:27

we have so much coming our way

6:30

in every given moment, so much

6:32

information. Thoughts

6:35

and feelings and judgments

6:37

and things that we need to process. It's

6:40

a lot being a human being

6:42

on this earth right now. So

6:45

slow things way

6:48

down for yourself just for, like, a minute

6:50

right now. That

6:52

means you consciously

6:56

make your next inhale a slow

6:59

and as long as it can possibly

7:02

become. And

7:06

then you do the same thing with exhale. Slow

7:09

that exhale way down.

7:12

Take all the time you can to

7:14

release that breath. Out

7:16

of the nose. And

7:21

then keep going. Just a couple of cycles

7:23

of breath there where you have more space.

7:27

More time. I'm

7:30

kind of signaling

7:32

to your body that there's no rush

7:35

right

7:35

now. Maybe

7:37

there will be later,

7:39

but not right now. Right

7:42

now you have time. Right

7:44

now you have space.

7:47

No place else you need to be,

7:50

but right here connecting

7:52

with your body, with your breath. Grounding

7:56

for a moment.

8:05

And if you like, you can just

8:07

gently blink your eyes back open.

8:13

I am smiling right

8:15

now. That

8:17

was just a very short

8:20

moment of our time right there. And

8:24

I'm smiling because I have this very

8:27

beautiful feeling of contentment in

8:30

my body right now. Isn't

8:32

it? Beautiful? I don't know how you're feeling

8:34

right now if you can sense a just a little

8:37

subtle shift inside of your body

8:39

or in your energy

8:41

or in your heart, but

8:44

just a moment to

8:46

shift our awareness in heart, a moment

8:49

of slowing down. Can

8:51

change everything.

8:55

This show is sponsored by Better Help.

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Let's play our first question

9:56

of the

9:56

day. Hi, Rachel. My

9:58

name is Michelle. I've been listening to the

10:00

pod since day one, I'm calling

10:02

from Colorado. I

10:04

am just in awe

10:07

of you and your whole pregnancy journey

10:09

to sending you all of my love and support. I

10:13

listened to the podcast last week about

10:15

kind of the shade you were getting in Sweden

10:17

and it just kind of

10:19

got some thoughts from me and

10:21

the preconceptions they really

10:24

like kind of leaning more

10:26

towards the natural route and home birth

10:28

etcetera. I'm curious if you have

10:30

any advice for dealing

10:33

and managing people more

10:36

so in your licensed strangers who have

10:39

very who you know will have very strong

10:41

opinions on this. How do

10:43

you approach it? Do you have any tips?

10:46

Like, I'm ninety I'm a

10:48

hundred percent sure it will lead to a site

10:50

if, you know, I kind of disclose

10:52

this information with some people in my life.

10:54

So curious if you have any

10:56

thoughts for moms to be who

10:58

want to go down the same

11:00

route? And don't know how to deal with

11:02

all the negativity. Thank you.

11:04

Sending us. Oh, thank

11:06

you for Thank

11:08

you for the support and for,

11:11

yeah, for being so present here with

11:13

me on this on this journey. And

11:17

yeah, I feel you. I

11:21

feel you. I feel you. I know you.

11:23

Absolutely. I

11:26

think for me, I've been fairly lucky

11:29

so far and probably because it's my second

11:31

pregnancy doing it this

11:33

way. This pregnancy,

11:36

I'm even more on

11:38

the on the odd

11:40

end of the spectrum of wanting to do things

11:42

in a little bit more of I don't

11:44

wanna use the word radical. It's like it's not a radical

11:47

thing to do to just wanna

11:50

be pregnant in peace. And

11:53

birth on your own, but it's viewed as

11:55

this radical strange thing. Right?

11:58

So this time around, I haven't

12:00

had anything but support

12:03

or silence from close

12:06

people in my life. And, of course, I know

12:08

the people who are choosing to

12:10

be quiet and I so appreciate

12:13

them for it because I

12:15

know they have opinions and maybe they

12:17

have fears and worries and judgments

12:20

and, you know, ideas about,

12:23

yeah, whether it's right or wrong or it's just

12:25

ideas about what I'm choosing. But

12:27

they're not saying anything this time

12:29

around, which I so deeply

12:31

appreciate. It's really so true. Like, if you don't

12:33

have something supportive or kind or uplifting

12:36

to say, we don't have to say

12:38

anything at all. Right?

12:40

So it's not like those minds were completely

12:43

changed this time around, but I think from

12:45

first pregnancy, they've just

12:47

learned that, yeah, this is how I'm doing

12:49

things, and I'm not gonna change

12:51

my mind because they have a different viewpoint.

12:55

Or I mean, I'm hoping

12:57

maybe I have

12:59

changed their minds a little bit. So people who

13:01

in my first pregnancy were very vocal

13:03

about Well, this is a bad idea

13:05

or why would you not want to be in the hospital?

13:08

And, yeah, I'm just not getting any of

13:10

that this time around. So

13:12

who knows? Maybe some some mines have been opened

13:14

little bit there. But

13:17

I definitely have been getting that

13:19

from the general public. And,

13:23

yeah, just as a public person,

13:25

I'm getting a lot of input sharing things on

13:27

social media. I mean, I've put

13:29

myself in that place where I know I'm

13:31

receiving people's judgments

13:34

and and thoughts and things like that.

13:37

But in my first pregnancy, there

13:39

was a lot of concern, wanting

13:42

a home birth. And

13:45

I remember then just

13:47

some very close family members of

13:49

mine that have had

13:52

extremely traumatic births. My

13:54

mother being one of them. She had four

13:57

she gave birth four times. Each time

13:59

was they were all medical hospital

14:02

births where she felt she had no control

14:05

or control was taken from her. And

14:07

they were just all very, very, very traumatic.

14:10

And she was so concerned. And

14:13

it's funny because even though her

14:15

very scary hospital births, happened

14:18

in the hospital. She still had this

14:20

idea that like a home birth

14:22

isn't safe. And I remember

14:25

inquiring about that. You know,

14:27

she had these four births that were very traumatic.

14:29

And none of

14:31

them happened at home. None of them happened

14:34

with this kind of mindset and education

14:36

and different kind of thinking. It was different time

14:38

and different space

14:40

also entirely for her. But

14:43

at some point, I had to set

14:45

a really clear boundary there where

14:49

I just very she

14:51

was very, we were very, very close then. We're

14:53

not spending as much time together now,

14:55

but in the first pregnancy, we were, yeah,

14:57

very close spending lots of time. And

15:00

I remember having to sit her down and

15:02

just very firmly but very lovingly

15:06

say that that these this

15:08

was your experience. It's

15:10

not gonna be mine. Like, I don't know

15:12

what this birth is gonna be. I

15:15

have no idea what that outcome is

15:17

is here, but I know for sure

15:19

it's not gonna be exactly the same

15:21

as yours because every single birth is

15:23

unique. The same way her

15:26

four births were all wildly different.

15:28

Right? Difficult and traumatic in their own way,

15:31

but they were all very different. So

15:33

I'm not gonna have your experience. And

15:36

I don't want you sharing

15:38

your experience with me anymore. I

15:41

need you to find another person,

15:43

a trusting person, someone who can hear you,

15:45

and listen to you, and

15:47

validate you and see you

15:49

in this fear, but it cannot

15:52

be me. And

15:54

I remember that being just very, very helpful.

15:57

Like, it was a very helpful shift in

16:01

our dynamic. I wasn't saying, hey, don't

16:03

talk about your birth with me. Don't talk about your

16:05

fears with me. No no, I mean,

16:07

I wasn't saying, don't talk about your fears. Don't

16:09

talk about your experience. I wasn't shutting her

16:11

down. I was just kind of redirecting. Like,

16:14

you have to find another person to unburne

16:16

on these things on because speaking

16:19

to a pregnant woman about your past,

16:22

difficult experiences. This is just never

16:24

never a good idea unless it's asked

16:26

for. Right? So

16:29

in those settings, just that kind

16:31

of firm loving boundary actually

16:34

really did work. But then

16:37

the people who who actually think

16:41

that you're making a bad decision, you

16:43

know, or people who Yeah.

16:46

I know. I know. I know. It's

16:48

really helpful to remember that

16:51

most likely I mean, of course, I don't know because

16:53

I don't know them, but most likely those

16:55

big opinions or people, you know,

16:58

thinking they have a say in in your life and

17:00

and objecting to what you've chosen for yourself.

17:03

It's coming out of fear. Right?

17:05

It's just that. It's their fear. And

17:08

somewhere in there probably is a good intention

17:11

that this this feels scary for me.

17:13

This feels unsafe for me. So

17:15

I don't think you should do that. I think you should go

17:17

about it this other way, which feels safe

17:19

for me. Right? And it's

17:21

just so important to remind

17:23

them that it's not their birth. And

17:26

literally, and this has been proven

17:29

in so many studies again and again that

17:31

the safest way and the safest

17:34

place for a woman to birth

17:37

is the way and the place that she

17:39

feels the most safe to her. And

17:43

for many people across the world that might

17:45

be in the hands of a doctor, with

17:49

medical people around and in hospital.

17:51

Like a lot of people feel like that is the safest

17:53

place for me, so that's where I'm gonna be the calmest.

17:57

And have the least amount of fear. Well, great.

17:59

Right? That option is there and

18:02

widely offered.

18:04

But for a lot of us, that's

18:07

not what feels the safest. For

18:10

a lot of us being at home and

18:13

being surrounded by people we

18:15

love or being in an environment that

18:17

we know and we already feel safe in,

18:20

that feels the safest for us. That is

18:22

the way we want to to birth. So

18:26

regardless of what other people think,

18:28

you know, it's not gonna it's not

18:31

not gonna impact your ability.

18:34

At all. The only thing that's gonna happen if you

18:36

hear enough, if you listen to enough

18:38

people telling you that this is wrong,

18:40

this is not the right thing. Is that

18:42

you might start doubting yourself. And

18:46

what I feel in this pregnancy is so,

18:49

so, so important is that I

18:51

don't allow that. Every

18:54

time someone tells me, hey, birthing at

18:56

home is unsafe, even

18:58

though statistically it is not.

19:00

Like statistically, it is safer

19:03

to birth at home if you've chosen

19:05

to birth to birth at home. And

19:08

every time I hear someone tell me it's not,

19:10

you know, it kind of puts me off

19:12

track a little bit. It's not my

19:15

voice. It's not my belief, but if enough

19:17

people tell you that, it's going

19:19

to be harder and harder to hear your own inner

19:21

voice. So

19:25

the people who have a lot to say, if

19:27

you can love them, you

19:29

know, It's

19:32

always a challenging thing to do, but

19:35

recognizing their humanity instead

19:37

of going straight into the trigger of

19:39

shut up. This is not your life. Just leave me alone.

19:42

You know, love them for their

19:45

care because in there somewhere there is care

19:47

hopefully, not just judgment

19:49

for the sake of judging, right, that there's

19:52

there's care and love and there's somewhere. And

19:55

then set that firm

19:57

loving boundary. And

19:59

it could even be so We

20:01

could even go to to a point of saying

20:04

that you know, I I love you. I

20:06

wanna spend time with you. I wanna share

20:08

this journey, this pregnancy with you.

20:11

But if you can't respect my choice,

20:13

or if you can't keep your judgment

20:16

to yourself, I'm gonna

20:18

have to take some space and

20:20

then we can reconnect after this baby is born

20:22

because I need to focus on myself.

20:24

I need to take care of myself and take

20:27

care of my energy and protect myself

20:29

in this time. And,

20:31

you know, pregnancy doesn't last forever. I

20:34

think we can become very

20:36

intuitive when we are

20:38

pregnant. We are definitely closer

20:41

in touch with something a little

20:43

bit more a little bit bigger

20:45

than us. Right? We are kind of

20:47

standing on that precipice. Pre

20:50

birth. Like, we're almost touching the other

20:52

side. And not

20:54

every person that fits great

20:56

in our lives when we're not

20:59

pregnant works in

21:01

our lives when we are pregnant. So

21:04

if you have people in your life and you feel like, oh,

21:06

like every time I leave them, I feel a little bit

21:09

drain, or I feel tired, or I feel

21:11

frustrated, or Iike, or something's

21:13

not right, or maybe their presence

21:15

is just not what you need for these months.

21:18

And if they are important to you, you know, you can

21:21

always reconnect later. Like, it's okay

21:23

to ask for a little bit of space. It's okay to

21:25

do things differently. And to

21:27

act on what your intuition tells

21:29

you when you're pregnant. My

21:32

intuition is telling me more and more

21:35

to be quiet. I'm

21:38

not feeling any urge really

21:40

to socialize, to be out and about.

21:44

Like going into the city for me feels like

21:46

a big, tiring thing.

21:49

It always did a little bit, but way more

21:51

now. And then I have people that

21:53

I I normally love spending time with that I'm just

21:55

not gravitating toward. And

21:57

it doesn't mean that I'm, you know, that I have

21:59

some sort of drama with them or that there's

22:02

fight or an issue or a bad vibe. It's just

22:04

no. It's just I'm not drawn

22:06

into their space right now. And I

22:08

find that that naturally kind

22:11

of tends to work itself out a

22:13

little bit. And I

22:15

think when people get used to you

22:17

claiming more space and more time

22:19

for yourself, it doesn't feel

22:21

so personal after a while. If

22:23

you've never set a boundary with someone

22:25

ever, the first time you set

22:27

a boundary, even if it's a very gentle light

22:29

one, it's gonna feel like this big betrayal

22:32

or oh my god. Do they not

22:34

love me anymore? What's going on? But

22:37

friends and family that

22:40

are used to boundaries and

22:42

not just coming from you, but I think

22:44

if we are surrounding ourselves with people who

22:46

are taking care of themselves, like we

22:48

should all be used to having

22:50

boundaries set to

22:52

hearing the word no. This isn't work for me

22:55

right now or hearing someone

22:57

state their needs to you. It

23:00

should be a very natural thing. But if

23:02

you've never set a boundary with someone, they're gonna

23:04

probably have a harder time receiving it.

23:07

Than when they are used to. Oh, like,

23:10

you know, she knows what she wants. She

23:12

knows what she needs. And I can feel

23:14

safe in this relationship knowing that when she

23:16

says she needs space or she

23:18

says no. She doesn't wanna hang

23:20

out right now or she's asking for a need to

23:22

be met. Like, for me not to

23:24

speak about my past

23:26

traumatic experience or for me

23:28

not to voice my own personal fears

23:31

around birthing at home, for example.

23:34

It's just like a gentle boundary. And

23:37

if they're really, you know, important people

23:39

in our lives who understand us and who love us,

23:41

they should understand that. And

23:43

a really good time to start setting

23:46

loving foreign boundaries with our

23:48

people is now. I

23:50

I think now. And

23:53

eventually, it will be this thing where people just

23:56

know, you know, they know it's not personal.

23:58

They know it has nothing to do with them. This

24:00

is you stating your need, no big deal.

24:02

And also, hopefully, it

24:05

makes them feel safe that they can set loving

24:07

firm boundaries with you in return. That

24:10

when you venture into an area of conversation

24:12

that you feel is super easy going and it doesn't

24:14

bother you at all and all of sudden

24:16

it doesn't work for them. Right? Or listen,

24:18

it doesn't sit right with them. They'll

24:20

be able to set a similar boundary with you,

24:22

and you'll know, okay, of course. Of

24:25

course. Right? It's not it's not about me.

24:28

No problem. Like I can vent or talk

24:30

about this stuff or gossip or whatever thing

24:32

that they don't wanna hear. I have other people

24:34

I can take that too. Right? So,

24:39

yeah, I don't know

24:41

if that's advice advice

24:43

enough, but trying to

24:45

bring a little bit of love into that situation,

24:47

which is easier to do if it's people we know.

24:49

I have a hard time with that. When

24:52

I'm dealing with input from people, I don't know,

24:55

especially when it's like collective. Stuff

24:59

or or input from the media. Like, it's very

25:01

hard for me to bring

25:03

love into that. So I find myself

25:05

just just separating.

25:08

Right? Like, I can choose to read

25:10

those news or not. I

25:13

have set some boundaries with people in my

25:15

life, friends and family who have,

25:17

like, very good intentions, like, oh my god. Did you see

25:19

this article came out about you? And

25:21

they sent me the article, and then I just say,

25:23

hey, I know this conversation

25:25

is out there. If you ever see anything like

25:27

this again, please don't send it to me. I

25:30

don't need to know that it exists. Like,

25:32

thank you. Okay. I know it's from love, but just please

25:34

don't don't send me this. And

25:36

I haven't had anyone go, what? You

25:38

know, get upset with that?

25:41

But that's boundary too. Right? So

25:44

for me that that's like I can bring

25:46

love into the relationships with people

25:49

that I have that I know. But

25:51

not so much with media. Like, that's been kind

25:53

of hard. So I just choose, like, I'm not

25:55

digesting or taking in that information.

25:58

I'm not reading those news. I'm not

26:00

clicking on those links. I'm not going to those

26:02

blogs. I am

26:04

choosing to have this conversation when

26:07

it feels good for me

26:09

with people that I trust. That's

26:11

all. And

26:14

the further I go into this pregnancy, the

26:16

safer I feel. Which is so

26:18

beautiful. The more anchored

26:20

my decision I feel, the less weird

26:23

I feel like this is Like,

26:25

this is not a radical choice

26:28

to make for myself. And

26:30

if I compare it, like, this idea that

26:34

oh my labor starts and holy shit,

26:36

like going to panic, oh my god,

26:39

I gotta go to a clinic, I gotta go

26:41

to a hospital, I have to like seek

26:43

out this medical support like that to me

26:45

now feels radical because it's not

26:47

at all what I'm feeling drawn to.

26:51

Going to a strange place that I would only

26:53

ever go if someone was sick or in pain

26:55

or something's wrong with them. Right? They

26:57

need, like, help because something's not right.

27:00

Doing that just because I'm having contractions

27:03

and my baby's coming doesn't it doesn't align

27:05

with how I feel at all. And

27:08

then having strangers in the room as

27:10

I'm going through the most intimate journey

27:14

of my life like that That

27:16

does not feel safe. That

27:18

does not feel for

27:20

me, obviously. Right? It does for a lot of

27:22

people. But for me, like, being in a strange

27:25

place, in strange room with strange

27:27

smells, strange sounds, strange

27:30

lighting, you know, strange things

27:32

coming my way, in

27:34

terms of checkups or interventions or,

27:36

like, it does not it's not something

27:38

that inspires a feeling of

27:41

of safety. And

27:45

what I know inside

27:47

of myself is what I need to have the safest

27:50

and most natural birth

27:52

possible. It's like I need, I need

27:54

privacy, and I need to

27:56

feel safe, and to be able to

27:59

to do that at home, you know,

28:01

this place I love surrounded by

28:03

nature and with my daughter

28:05

and husband and dogs and

28:08

you know, getting getting to really

28:11

remain in this beautiful nest

28:13

that I've spent the past months

28:15

creating. Like, that feels so beautiful.

28:18

And so aligned. So

28:23

I think also, yeah, just make

28:25

me my last little thing to say on this.

28:28

When we feel anchored

28:30

in our choice, people

28:33

tend to challenge us less.

28:37

So if we are just kind of leaning towards something

28:39

and we're exploring it, but we don't know,

28:41

you know, which I think is a little bit more

28:43

how I was in my first birth. I was still, well,

28:45

I don't know. Everyone's telling me I have to be at the hospital,

28:48

but I really didn't want it, but I also

28:50

was, I was insecure because

28:53

it was my first time. And I think

28:55

when people pick up on that insecurity, they

28:57

tend to get more. They tend

28:59

to wanna debate you more and wanna challenge you

29:01

more. So it's really important

29:04

that the choices we make, that we make them from

29:07

a really grounded place,

29:09

and then we allow ourselves the time

29:12

and the energy to arrive

29:14

at those decisions. And

29:17

for me, you know, being alone, being

29:19

in silence, listening to my own

29:21

intuition. That's been really helpful.

29:24

I I know I'm not gonna get to a clearer

29:26

decision debating people. Hell no.

29:29

Hell no. And you

29:31

don't owe anyone an explanation

29:34

for why you wanna live your life,

29:36

the way you wanna live your life. You

29:38

don't owe anyone an explanation

29:40

or reasoning behind how

29:43

you choose to go through this pregnancy

29:45

or how you choose to birth. I mean, this really is

29:47

the most intimate personal

29:49

thing and it's yours. It's your

29:52

journey. People tend

29:54

to get confused, you know, when we get pregnant,

29:56

that, oh, that's something to share with everyone

29:58

and everyone wants to touch you and

30:00

touch your belly and they ask all sorts

30:02

of intimate, bizarre questions about your

30:05

sex life and your genitals. Things

30:07

they would never ask, you know, unless you were

30:09

pregnant. All of a sudden, that's, like, socially

30:12

accepted. Like, this pregnancy,

30:14

like, belongs to everyone, hell no. No.

30:18

No. Like, unless it

30:20

feels good for you and you want that,

30:22

like, no one should fucking reach out and

30:24

touch your belly, or demand

30:26

you answer questions that don't feel good

30:28

to you to talk about or share with people.

30:31

This is your intimate journey and you deserve

30:34

to have it remain that way.

30:37

So anytime you sense that kind of

30:39

like fierceness come

30:41

through, I would act on

30:43

that. Like, I do. Anytime

30:46

I feel this, like, need to No. No.

30:48

I don't wanna talk about this. Please don't.

30:50

Don't ask me that. Let's

30:53

talk about something else. Like anytime

30:55

you have that inner voice, tell you,

30:57

nope, this is not right, to say it,

30:59

communicate it. And

31:02

let that primal side of

31:04

you show already now, you

31:06

know, because it's the same side of you, it's the

31:08

same fearlessness, it's the same raw,

31:11

primal part of you that's gonna birth this baby

31:13

eventually. So

31:16

protect your own space, you know, protect your

31:18

own body, protect your baby, protect

31:20

your spiritual space,

31:23

all the space around you. You know, this is

31:25

your this is yours. And

31:28

no one has the right to to take

31:30

that away or challenge

31:32

you just because they wanna you know,

31:34

no. No. People have their own reasonings, but

31:36

really how you live your life is none

31:38

of their business. So

31:42

wishing you best of luck

31:45

and for anyone listening. And this

31:47

goes for all of us, you know, regardless if

31:49

we're we're pregnant or not setting

31:52

boundaries, that loving

31:54

firm boundary is one of the

31:56

most important things that we can learn in this lifetime.

31:59

It is life changing. Life

32:01

changing. And

32:03

we shouldn't start doing that just because

32:05

we all of a sudden, we're pregnant and we

32:07

have to. Right? We

32:10

can start now like, start today

32:13

Chances are the people that we can imagine

32:16

are gonna judge us or challenge

32:18

us if we make a

32:20

more natural choice around pregnancy or

32:22

conception or birth. They're

32:25

probably, you know, they're

32:27

probably challenging us in other ways

32:29

right now that maybe doesn't feel so great.

32:32

Chances are you know who those people are for

32:34

a reason and you can start setting

32:36

loving boundaries with them now.

32:40

Now. Now, anytime you have

32:42

that feeling, oh, this doesn't feel great. Like,

32:44

that's your system saying, hey, someone's walking

32:46

all over me right now. And I'm letting

32:48

it happen because I'm used to this dynamic

32:50

in this relationship. Start

32:52

now and then the more comfortable we

32:55

get in setting boundaries, the easier it

32:57

becomes. And after

32:59

a while, people stop trying to

33:01

step on us because they know it doesn't work.

33:03

Right? They take their judgment and they

33:06

take their this respect

33:08

elsewhere. Okay.

33:12

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34:54

take another question. Hi,

34:56

Rachel. My name is Elizabeth. I

34:58

am from Nashville, Tennessee. I've been

35:01

following you for little over twelve years

35:03

and I think you're amazing and super

35:04

inspiring. My question was,

35:07

if you

35:07

could possibly do podcast

35:09

just explaining what you do through your tea ceremonies.

35:12

It's something I've really

35:13

been wanting to get into, and I'm just not

35:15

sure where to start. So anyway,

35:17

keep on changing the world. I love you so

35:19

much. Bye. Oh,

35:22

hi, Elizabeth. Twelve

35:24

years is a long time. It's

35:26

like we're a long time friends.

35:29

I hope to meet you someday. TTI

35:33

love t. I get I can

35:35

get teary eyed. Thinking about

35:37

tea. And

35:40

as I said tea now, my whole room

35:42

just lit up with sunshine again,

35:44

which just feels like such a affirmation

35:47

from nature. I would love to talk

35:49

to you about tea. I would love to really, really,

35:53

really get into the practice and

35:56

ritual of of of sitting with tea.

35:59

So I get this question a lot,

36:01

and III have a hard time answering

36:03

it, like, how does one get started? Tea

36:07

teachers when it comes

36:10

to ceremonial tea.

36:12

It's not they're not that easy to find.

36:15

It's not like yoga teacher where you have one

36:17

on every corner, you know, everywhere in

36:19

the world. And So

36:23

for me, it was really instrumental finding

36:25

someone who could teach me the very

36:28

sacred specifics of the ritual that

36:30

I this. There are so many ways

36:33

to drink tea and to sit with tea. There are tons

36:35

of ceremonies from different parts

36:37

of the world, you know, aside from

36:39

water, tea is the most had

36:42

beverage in the whole world. In

36:44

the whole world. But

36:46

he really is something that's already for

36:49

all of us in all of our cultures, ancestral

36:51

and ancient and culturable

36:54

and

36:55

we drink tea in different ways for different reasons

36:57

all over the world, but most of the world

36:59

already drinks tea.

37:03

And for me, you

37:05

know, it really I I

37:07

feel like tea came my way in such

37:09

a sacred spiritual

37:12

way. That

37:14

that I can't mimic. You know, like, I

37:16

that like, I have a hard time answering

37:18

that question, like, how to get started. Because for me,

37:20

it just it was so serendipitous and divine,

37:23

and It was like nature,

37:26

all of a sudden, told me, okay, you're

37:28

you're ready here to deepen this relationship.

37:31

This relationship with this one archetype,

37:34

with this one plant spirit. Like, here you

37:36

go. And then everything just

37:38

kind of unfolded from there. But

37:40

what I will say, if

37:42

we put the longing out there,

37:45

like we put the intention out there

37:47

to okay. I would like to deepen

37:50

my relationship with t, and

37:53

you sit in your meditation practice

37:55

and you anchor into that longing, you

37:58

ask nature for that.

38:01

Something is gonna come your way. And

38:04

it's really beautiful and strange and

38:06

wonderful how this happens. But if

38:08

we have a real longing

38:10

in our hearts and it's genuine and it's authentic,

38:13

and we ask to have that longing met,

38:16

the universe will provide. And

38:18

I can't tell you how that's gonna happen. Like, if

38:20

it's gonna be all of a sudden, you know,

38:22

you meet a person who

38:25

who who sits with tea. Right? Who can

38:27

teach you, like, their way of their ritual or

38:29

all of a sudden you come across a personal social

38:31

media, who, like, has an

38:33

online course or who is doing a

38:35

workshop in your town or all

38:38

of a sudden, you're walking down the street and there's

38:40

a little tea shop on the corner. And

38:42

you walk inside and it's legit and

38:45

real. You know, we never

38:47

know how these things come our way. But if we

38:49

put our longing out there, it

38:51

will be answered. And maybe not in the

38:53

way that you would expect or

38:56

think, but it will be answered. So I would

38:58

start there. Taking

39:01

that that wish that might be a little

39:04

bit, you know, feel a little bit abstract

39:06

right now. Like, oh, this looks so interesting or

39:08

I'm I'm drawn to this, but I don't know why

39:11

anchor into that and put

39:13

your wish out there into the world. Okay.

39:15

That would be my step one. And then

39:17

step two, if you know

39:20

that tea is calling you when

39:22

you really feel that calling is

39:24

to start drinking

39:26

tea. And

39:29

that might sound ridiculous. But

39:33

but let me explain. So maybe

39:35

your relationship with t right now is

39:38

similar to what my relationship with tea

39:40

has been for a big portion

39:42

of my life. For me, tea

39:44

was always there. Like, and we

39:46

always had tea at home. One

39:48

of my earliest memories is drinking

39:51

tea at my grandma's house. Every time

39:53

we went to my grandma's house, she still

39:55

lives in the same house. She lived when I was

39:57

born. So every time we would

39:59

come to my grandma's house, which was quite often,

40:02

we would cozy up in this corner of her

40:04

kitchen, and she would serve as

40:07

earl gray tea. And I would

40:09

have my tea in the same little dotted

40:11

tea cup. It was like a blue tea cup with

40:13

white dots on it. With

40:15

lots of sugar. And she

40:17

had a little sugar bowl and we could, like, take

40:19

as much sugar as we wanted to put into the tea.

40:22

But we always drank tea. It was like the first thing

40:24

we were greeted by when we arrived.

40:26

When we came home to her house, was we would sit

40:28

down, and we would drink tea. My

40:32

dad has never had coffee in his life.

40:35

I think he he has a story. He says,

40:37

like, he he tried one cup of coffee

40:39

when he was twenty five or something. And,

40:41

like, he's never had coffee. He's always been

40:43

a tea drinker for as long as yeah.

40:45

For as long as I've been alive at least. And

40:48

also very much like a tea,

40:51

like very drawn to tea. When

40:54

I was little, he used to travel to China

40:56

a lot. I think he did a lot of business there.

40:58

And every time he came home, he would bring

41:00

these really interesting kinds

41:03

of tea that he had found on his travels. And

41:05

really beautiful, exotic,

41:08

intricate boxes at

41:11

his house. It was there was never, like, just, like,

41:13

you know, bags of tea but

41:15

everything was always in this, like, beautiful metal

41:18

box and you never you really knew it was inside.

41:20

You had to smell it and check it out.

41:23

He was always as very drawn to tea and would

41:25

buy teaware and bring home and and

41:27

yeah, whenever I spent time with my dad, we always

41:30

we always drank tea. And

41:32

if we were ever out and about, we would always

41:34

stop at a tea store. And he

41:36

would, you know, and we would smell and

41:38

choose and taste and try different kinds of teas.

41:40

And and take them home.

41:42

So for me, like, tea was always there,

41:46

but not in a way that felt

41:49

even remotely sacred.

41:51

Like, it felt familiar. It felt,

41:53

in a way, ancestral. Like, it felt like

41:56

this is something that we've always we

41:58

always had tea in this family, like it felt like

42:00

a family thing, but

42:02

it was not in any way a part of any spiritual

42:04

practice. And I think a lot of us have that similar.

42:06

Like, if we look back at our own relationship with

42:09

tea throughout the ages, like

42:11

tea has always been there. And

42:13

I think we have a lot of plant

42:16

skin. We have a lot of plant family,

42:19

plant spirits that have been

42:22

with us on our path in

42:24

different ways that maybe we are not

42:26

awake to that relationship yet.

42:30

I have a lot of plant spirits

42:33

like that that I feel like have been protectors

42:35

of mine throughout my life and since childhood

42:37

and Maybe you can

42:39

remember being a child like having a favorite

42:42

tree. Can you remember that? If

42:44

you journey back into your memories and into

42:46

your childhood and your

42:48

connection with nature. Then,

42:51

first of all, how effortless our connection

42:53

with nature was? Running barefoot

42:56

through the grass and then just throwing ourselves

42:58

down on the ground to life Brathen

43:00

our backs and look at the clouds. Mean,

43:02

how many times have we done that? So many times,

43:05

I think, all of us, if

43:07

we had trees in our backyard or

43:09

if we lived close to a wooded area

43:12

or a forest or, you know,

43:14

like, did you have a favorite tree growing

43:16

up? I think a lot of us have at least

43:18

some memory of a tree that was special

43:20

to us. And as kids,

43:23

we're just drawn to nature because nature

43:25

is home. We know how to

43:27

interact with nature. Nature

43:29

is a place to go and play

43:32

and be, whereas

43:34

can recognize as a mother every time my

43:36

daughter wants to climb a tree, and there's a part of me,

43:38

like, oh, oh, you know, be careful. Be careful.

43:41

You know, like, terrified she's gonna fall and break

43:43

her arm. But

43:45

It's so natural to her. She sees a tree. She wants

43:47

to climb it. And it

43:50

takes always for me like an extra breath

43:52

and then some trust. And then I always let her

43:54

climb. Right? So

43:57

I had a couple of those trees when I was growing

44:00

up, an apple tree, also one in my grandma's

44:02

backyard. And then in our

44:04

countryside, we had a country home or

44:06

like country cabin on the

44:08

east coast of Sweden. There was this little

44:11

wooded area on this hill, like, right

44:13

above our else where

44:15

there were some spruce trees that where

44:17

we always went to play. Like, we had we made,

44:19

like, a little makeshift tree house there. I mean,

44:21

my cousins, and just

44:23

remember there being this one tree where

44:26

the branches went almost all the way down

44:28

to the floor, but there was space beneath.

44:30

So it was almost like a cave. You know, and

44:32

we would go under the spruce and

44:34

just and hide or, you

44:36

know, like, bring sticks and like

44:38

stones and gather things and play, and

44:40

play, and see. I mean, there was so much so

44:43

much of our childhood is intertwined with

44:45

with nature. And Looking

44:49

back, we all have

44:51

had particular plant spirits

44:54

protecting us, present with us.

44:56

Kind of there on our path, holding our hand in

44:58

different ways. And

45:00

it takes a different way of thinking

45:03

of and relating with nature

45:05

to open up to this idea, especially

45:08

if you've been taught your whole life that nature is

45:10

some dead thing, that that

45:13

every tree or every plant you see is some

45:15

object. For you to or or

45:17

was just some material thing for you

45:19

to to eat, or

45:22

digest, or Maybe

45:24

we have an idea that, yeah, like herbs and certain

45:26

things can be healing for physical ailments.

45:29

Like, we might know that, well, if I can't

45:31

sleep, maybe some chamomile tea can

45:33

help calm. And like we have something ideas

45:35

we have about how nature is,

45:37

like, helpful to us. But

45:39

it's a whole other step whole

45:42

other way of looking at

45:44

life when we start to

45:46

treat plants as

45:49

individuals when

45:51

we start to treat them as beings,

45:54

as energies, as

45:56

spirits really. Where

45:59

everything connects, but each plant

46:01

spirit has its own personality, its

46:04

own archetype, its own vibration,

46:07

you know. And

46:11

for me, the moment I realized that tea

46:13

has been in

46:15

my life this mother.

46:19

That was one of my first big epiphanies I

46:21

had with tea in

46:23

spiritual way was that tea

46:25

has been this mothering presence

46:28

for me my entire life and

46:31

particularly present for me

46:33

in the times of my life where I was missing

46:36

a mother, where

46:38

I was alone, where I was

46:40

feeling unsafe when I was feeling

46:42

abandoned. Like, he

46:44

was there. So

46:47

for me, when I when I started

46:51

sitting with a tea in a more present way,

46:53

and you can do that now. So when I say start

46:55

drinking tea, like you're probably already drinking tea.

46:58

But First of all, how are you drinking

47:00

tea? How are you

47:02

interacting with the

47:04

very delicate qualities

47:07

and properties of the plant medicine

47:10

that is tea. Not are you grabbing

47:12

like a tea bag of earl gray or

47:15

green tea and popping it in mug

47:17

and then pouring some hot water from your

47:19

from your electric kettle on top and then just drinking

47:21

that without thinking like that's drinking

47:24

tea. But are you drinking

47:27

tea? Can

47:29

you take that existing relationship

47:31

and deepen it? And

47:33

you don't need any fancy teaware to

47:36

do that. You don't need any hard

47:38

to find tea teacher. You don't need

47:41

to sit in some heated ritual

47:43

or ceremony to begin

47:45

deepening and exploring your relationship

47:48

with plant medicine. It's available

47:50

to you right now. Like, you can turn this podcast off

47:53

right now and go

47:55

begin that journey. So

47:59

if we're feeling drawn to t, I would start

48:01

there, you know, put the longing out there in

48:03

a really intentional way. And

48:06

trust that a teacher or

48:08

a method or a ritual or

48:10

a way is gonna is gonna

48:12

come and then begin

48:14

now. So

48:16

start treating tea, chamelea synapses.

48:19

So we're not talking herbal infusions.

48:22

We're not talking any other plant or herb.

48:24

We're talking tea that comes

48:26

from the tea tree. So

48:29

it's not roybles. It's not mint

48:31

or peppermint. You know, it's it's real tea.

48:34

So it's very important that we honor

48:38

the spirit of tea and that we don't confuse tea

48:40

with other plant spirits. So

48:43

start start sitting with t in

48:45

a in a ritual way. Meaning

48:48

that we Start

48:50

connecting tea with our spiritual practices.

48:53

Start interacting with tea. Looking

48:56

at the tea and smelling the tea

48:58

and, you know, tasting like chewing

49:01

a tea leaf. And as you're

49:03

preparing and then eventually

49:06

consuming your tea, that you do that with

49:08

your most sacred

49:11

presence and that it happens in

49:13

sacred spaces too. So

49:17

where and how you source your tea

49:20

is really important when

49:22

we think of tea and how tea is grown

49:25

across the world. We often think of tea as

49:27

like a little bush. Like, if you Google

49:29

tea plantation or something

49:31

like that, you're gonna see tea plants as like

49:33

tiny little bushes. And

49:36

that's the conventional, like, large

49:38

scale industrial farming

49:40

of tea. There's they're really horrible

49:42

practices involved in the

49:45

industrial farming of tea. Most tea

49:47

they they use huge amounts of pesticides.

49:51

They're not taking care of the earth. We're not looking

49:53

for that kind of tea. Although it's

49:55

the same plant, at its heart, it's

49:57

the same essence. But

49:59

it's gonna hold a very different energy

50:01

and a very different quality if you source

50:04

live tea from old growth

50:06

trees. So actually

50:09

comes from a tree. If you let those

50:11

bushes be, they

50:14

can live on for thousands of years and they grow

50:16

into these big, majestic, beautiful

50:19

tea trees. And

50:23

you know, that are generally cared

50:25

for by people for generations

50:28

and really revered and

50:30

where the buds and leaves are harvested in a

50:32

very, very, very special way. So

50:36

sourcing tea in that way where

50:39

you get a different depth, a

50:41

different quality of the wisdom of the

50:43

plants, you're gonna have a different

50:45

you're gonna enter a different kind of conversation. Right?

50:48

So it's It's

50:50

hard to compare like the

50:52

tea you would get in a tea bag at a coffee shop.

50:54

Right? With a tea that we drink

50:57

ceremonially. In

50:59

ritual. There's

51:02

lots of places to find the ceremonial

51:04

grade tea I

51:06

would source from a

51:09

proper tea shop, and

51:11

I found like here in Sweden, there's a tea store

51:13

on every corner. There's so many tea stores,

51:15

people drink so much tea. But

51:18

whenever I go into just any one of those

51:20

places, they very rarely know what

51:22

I'm talking about. If

51:24

I'm looking for for the the kind of tea that

51:26

I'm looking for. So any

51:28

store that that

51:31

sells tea and cakes, which

51:33

I have yet to find in Sweden.

51:35

I just pumped, like, some places online, but

51:38

one single place. There's a place by Uldempland If

51:41

you live in Sweden, it's right across cafe

51:43

pascale. It's the only place I've found so

51:46

far, where they really sell

51:48

ceremonial grade organic,

51:51

old growth tea, and they

51:53

come in tea cakes. Normally, we get our tea

51:55

in these big round cakes that are wrapped in

51:57

in paper. And then you

51:59

break the cakes apart and that's how

52:02

you get the tea leaves. But

52:04

online, so there's a beautiful

52:06

place called global tea

52:08

Hut. It's in Taiwan. It's

52:10

a tea house and tea

52:13

sanctuary in Taiwan. I

52:15

get my tea from there. My

52:18

first tea teacher. Her

52:20

teacher is a man called

52:22

Woudai, who's who started

52:24

that center, who's who's over there.

52:28

And they do a lot of really beautiful service

52:30

work, and it's just a really beautiful organization

52:33

to support so I get most of my tea

52:35

from the global tea huts. You

52:38

can go there and check out their tea if you want.

52:40

But I love even more because there's such an

52:42

ability to create community around tea

52:44

is to find tea or find

52:46

someone excited about tea in

52:49

your local area. So can go if

52:51

there's a possibility for you to go to place,

52:54

to drink tea with other people, to

52:57

talk about tea with other people, to learn about

52:59

tea with other people, then I so suggest

53:01

that So it's not just

53:03

something that happens online and then it comes home

53:06

to you and it's and it's just you're kind

53:08

of alone in that journey there. So

53:11

see if you can source tea,

53:15

live tea, living tea, from

53:17

old growth trees, And then,

53:19

of course, what which kind

53:21

of tea you choose. So it's all

53:24

the same plant and then depending on how it's

53:26

processed, it becomes either. Green

53:28

tea or poor

53:30

tea. I drink lot of shangh

53:33

and show poor. There's

53:36

also black tea, of course, which

53:38

I think is the most common tea that we know here

53:40

in the west. In the west, we

53:43

name the tea from what the tea looks like in

53:45

the bag. Like black

53:47

tea, the tea leaves that just look black. But

53:50

in the east, they name tea from what tea

53:52

looks like when it's brewed. So black

53:54

tea is actually red tea. What we know

53:56

as black tea is in reality, red

53:59

tea. Not verbose, which

54:02

is what they call, like here in

54:04

Sweden, if you ask for red tea, you get verbose,

54:06

but actually red tea is what we know as black

54:08

tea. And

54:12

then after that, of course, tea is it's

54:15

processed in different ways, some tea is fermented.

54:18

It can be aged for

54:20

decades. I mean, for so long, I often

54:22

drink tea that's older than me. So

54:26

the younger a t, the lighter

54:29

and more

54:31

young, the energetic quality in the

54:33

conversation with tea is going to be

54:36

sitting with an old growth

54:38

tea that's been stored

54:40

and that's been that's been don't

54:43

wanna use the word process. But, yeah, that's been

54:46

processed and stored for a long, long,

54:48

long time. Left alone

54:51

really. Since

54:54

before I was born, it's a very different conversation.

54:56

Right? It's a different kind of quality and energy

54:58

that you receive from the tea. And

55:01

then there's so many ways to be in ceremony.

55:04

I have a really specific way that I

55:07

that I do it and I don't teach it because I'm not

55:09

a tea teacher. But

55:11

you can really genuinely start on your

55:13

own just as long as it's t.

55:16

Right? All you need is t. You're

55:18

gonna need t and you're gonna need water. Without

55:21

water, we have no tea. Right? So,

55:24

from finding ways to take every

55:26

step of how you normally would brew

55:28

yourself mug of tea, and

55:31

slowing that down, making that intentional,

55:33

infusing presence into it.

55:36

And I bet you you can start your own

55:38

ritual, your own way of being

55:41

with tea. Traditionally, we drink

55:43

from a bowl, not from a mug or a cup.

55:46

So if you want, you can start with a bowl. The

55:49

first ritual I learned is called

55:52

leaves in a bowl and it's literally You

55:55

take your tea leaves, you drop

55:57

them into the bowl, and you

55:59

pour hot water on top, and you get to

56:01

see the leaves kind of twirling and swirling

56:03

inside of the bowl. And

56:06

it's it's so easy. Right? It's so

56:08

easy. And I think when we

56:10

see tea, we see it on social media,

56:12

or we see a ceremony like it so

56:15

graceful and beautiful and it also looks

56:17

complicated with all the things and

56:19

the teaware and the steps and we

56:22

don't need to go into that

56:25

complexity of a ritual

56:27

right away. It's kind of like we start a yoga practice

56:31

and we look at someone

56:33

on the map and they have all the stuff.

56:35

Right? They have mala beads and they have incense

56:38

and they have special clothing

56:40

that they're wearing and they look so good

56:42

in them. Maybe they're wearing like an inklet

56:44

and a toe ring and, you know,

56:46

there's like a lot of stuff, all

56:49

of a sudden that comes with that practice.

56:51

And I think as beginners, all

56:53

this stuff looks very shiny. Right?

56:55

It looks very attractive. It's very

56:58

fascinating. And before

57:00

we even anchor deeply enough

57:02

into the ritual practice of yoga,

57:05

where we learn enough about the

57:07

ancient science of yoga. We're

57:10

already there getting our little lemon pants

57:12

and getting our super expensive men do combat

57:15

and, you know, figuring out the mala

57:17

beads we wanna bring. Like, we're doing all the stuff

57:20

when really what we should be doing and what's

57:22

most purposeful for us to do is

57:25

to practice yoga. Right?

57:27

Is to not get distracted by the shiny

57:29

stuff and the shiny stuff is like usually what

57:32

we see on Instagram and stuff like that.

57:34

But to go right to the heart of, okay,

57:36

there's something about this ritual that's really calling

57:38

me Let's go there. Don't go to the

57:41

to the stuff. And I think with t, it's

57:43

the same the same way. Like, if

57:45

you're excited about

57:47

the idea of ritual with

57:49

t and you want a b and t ceremony

57:52

like go to t. Right? Don't

57:54

go to the fancy teaware

57:56

and the really cool

57:59

looking kettles with different kinds

58:01

of, like, carbon and fire and,

58:03

like, ways to heat your water and

58:05

There's incense that comes along with

58:08

ceremonial tea and so

58:10

many cool tea pots. You can find me there's

58:12

so many things. Right? But really what

58:14

we're interested in and what eventually

58:17

might lead to that whole thing where

58:19

you all of sudden have a more complex

58:22

ritual is tea. So

58:26

stay curious about your relationship with

58:28

tea and as your drinking tea and as

58:30

your with tea. Listen.

58:33

Like, listen. And

58:35

we stop looking at tea as something delicious

58:37

that we drink, and we start

58:39

honoring tea for the wisdom

58:41

and plant medicine that she

58:43

is. All of a sudden, we're

58:45

gonna have a very very very different

58:48

experience.

58:49

So when you're there and you're beginning

58:51

to relate that you really, really, really

58:53

listen.

58:57

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58:59

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1:00:00

future. Listen and follow SONNA

1:00:02

sessions wherever you get your podcasts. When

1:00:05

I started drinking tea in a

1:00:07

ceremonial way, And in the

1:00:09

beginning, for, like, a year,

1:00:11

it was just I had leaves in a bowl.

1:00:14

Like, just put leaves in a bowl and hot

1:00:17

water on top. A

1:00:19

couple more steps to that ritual, but it was very,

1:00:21

very simple. And they did the same

1:00:23

thing every day for a year. Or

1:00:26

almost a year. And in the beginning,

1:00:29

III wasn't really understanding. Like,

1:00:31

I just felt so cold to be

1:00:33

with tea in that sacred way. And

1:00:35

I knew it's not the same. I don't want to sit with my

1:00:38

family drinking this tea. Like, that would feel

1:00:40

disrespectful somehow. I would feel like I'm

1:00:42

missing like I'm missing it

1:00:44

somehow. But

1:00:47

I just felt you want, like, every day. I just wanna come

1:00:49

back to tea every day. Doesn't matter what time of day,

1:00:51

how it happens. Like, let me just hear every

1:00:53

day. And every day, I would

1:00:55

look into this bowl and I would look at the

1:00:57

leaves and I would cry. And

1:01:00

I would cry just big fat, hot

1:01:02

tears into my bowl. The

1:01:05

bowl would catch my tears and then I would drink

1:01:08

and I would kind of cycle through that again and

1:01:10

again and again. And

1:01:13

one of my earliest big

1:01:16

messages or big conversations that

1:01:19

I had with see where I really felt like it was

1:01:21

more than a feeling. Because in the beginning,

1:01:24

the conversation felt more like feeling.

1:01:27

You know, it felt more like little

1:01:30

realizations or a

1:01:33

taste or a smell or a color

1:01:35

or a, you know, a

1:01:37

sense of calm inside or

1:01:39

it was it was very hard

1:01:42

to explain. Like, my friends would ask,

1:01:44

like, what? You're drinking

1:01:46

tea as every day in this weird

1:01:49

way, like, why? couldn't

1:01:51

really say why in the beginning for a long

1:01:53

time. I didn't talk about tea. I didn't

1:01:55

share tea. I didn't I think the

1:01:57

first year of tea, it was just me

1:01:59

and tea. And then as like,

1:02:01

knowing that every time I talk to you,

1:02:04

Leah knowing already she was, like, three

1:02:06

years old that that

1:02:09

this bowl was the most precious thing

1:02:11

I owned, you know. And

1:02:14

one of the first very clear conversations

1:02:17

where I received a download. I received

1:02:19

a message from t that I could explain,

1:02:21

that I could relay, that I could write

1:02:24

down very clearly. Once

1:02:26

I was sitting on my balcony or

1:02:28

on my little patio outside my

1:02:31

my secret space that I had in a Ruba in

1:02:33

our old house. And this

1:02:35

is before we found the mold, before everything.

1:02:37

This is mid pandemic. Yeah.

1:02:39

It must have been early twenty no. Twenty

1:02:41

nineteen probably. Yeah,

1:02:44

tk my way twenty nineteen, so this might

1:02:46

have been twenty twenty, yeah, pandemic times.

1:02:49

And I'm sitting on the patio the

1:02:52

sun is rising. I used to rise very,

1:02:54

very early and drink tea. It's sunrise.

1:02:57

And I was in the middle of a

1:03:00

two year I

1:03:02

think maybe more two year break

1:03:04

for my mom. I spoke

1:03:06

about that quite a bit at the time. On

1:03:09

the pod, but just setting a really

1:03:11

firm boundary and realizing

1:03:13

I had to separate from her entirely and

1:03:15

kind of cut her out of my life. That was

1:03:17

the only way for me to to

1:03:19

survive. Really, it was a very, very

1:03:22

challenging relationship. And

1:03:25

I was sitting there drinking tea, and

1:03:27

I just had this, like, it was like a

1:03:29

knife in my gut kind of feeling.

1:03:32

Like I miss my mom. And

1:03:34

it was so complicated for me to have

1:03:36

that realization then because I

1:03:39

a part of me hated her deeply,

1:03:43

resented her, was upset, was angry,

1:03:45

couldn't stand her, so

1:03:48

many dramatic, crazy things happened

1:03:50

and I had this big, like,

1:03:52

ball of rage toward her where

1:03:54

I just I thought I would never talk to her again in my

1:03:56

life. And then the

1:03:58

big realization that I miss her. I

1:04:01

miss my mom. And I was sitting

1:04:03

there, thinking my holding my bowl to

1:04:05

my heart, you know, feeling so small,

1:04:07

feeling like a child, feeling

1:04:10

like a little baby, like just want my mom.

1:04:12

I just want my mom, and I just kind of

1:04:14

had that, like, a mantra in the back of my head.

1:04:17

Like, I miss my mom. I just want my mom.

1:04:20

And all of a sudden, t

1:04:22

spoke. It was really a voice. And

1:04:26

it was it came from the tea. Like,

1:04:28

it came from the bowl, but was all

1:04:30

enveloping, all encompassing. It was in front

1:04:32

of me, behind me, above me, below me, inside

1:04:34

of me. This

1:04:36

big, big voice said,

1:04:39

But I'm right here.

1:04:42

But I'm right here. But

1:04:45

I'm right here. And

1:04:47

it was like it knocked the

1:04:49

breath out of me, but I'm

1:04:51

right here. And

1:04:54

then I I realized

1:04:56

just so deeply that what I'd been doing

1:04:58

that whole time, that whole year

1:05:01

as I was separating from

1:05:03

my mother in the flesh. Right?

1:05:05

I had been mothering myself. I

1:05:08

had been mothering myself together with

1:05:10

nature, together with the most nourishing,

1:05:12

nurturing pembina mothering

1:05:15

plant medicine, there is. I have never

1:05:17

found anything that compares in terms of

1:05:20

that feeling of nurturing, of

1:05:22

nourishment, that I get from

1:05:24

t and that voice, but I'm right

1:05:26

here. It's like like

1:05:29

my it was this awakening

1:05:32

to the fact that that I

1:05:35

my mother is nature, my mother is

1:05:37

my earth mother mother earth

1:05:39

is mother earth for a reason. I come

1:05:41

from her. We all come from her.

1:05:44

And at the deepest deepest deepest

1:05:47

level and layer of my being, Like,

1:05:51

we each of us, we still have our umbilical

1:05:53

cords tied to the earth. And

1:05:57

I was sitting there in my, like, human cell

1:05:59

feeling in pure and resentful and

1:06:01

angry and worried and it's like,

1:06:04

and there is my mother, my mother. I'm right here.

1:06:08

Right here every moment of the day. And

1:06:10

I realized like she's never left me.

1:06:14

I was never alone. Never

1:06:16

alone. And,

1:06:20

yeah, she hasn't left

1:06:22

my side since. And

1:06:25

there was something about that

1:06:28

relationship. It actually took some burden

1:06:30

off of my relationship with my mom.

1:06:34

The feeling that, like, I have one single

1:06:36

human being and she she's supposed to be

1:06:38

in charge of me in these ways and protect me

1:06:40

and love me and unconditionally be there.

1:06:43

And now she's failed me in all these ways and

1:06:45

I'm so resentful for that and I feel so

1:06:47

abandoned and angry about

1:06:49

that and then realizing that I'm so held

1:06:52

never abandoned, so supported, always

1:06:55

mothered, like my whole life, maybe

1:06:57

not Brathen specific human being over

1:06:59

here in the way that I expected

1:07:01

it, but I was never alone.

1:07:04

Like, nature was there for me

1:07:07

all along every step of the way.

1:07:11

And since that moment, you know, I haven't

1:07:13

like, tea hasn't left my side. That

1:07:15

was my big awakening back to

1:07:17

nature. It's,

1:07:20

you know, put me on the path to

1:07:23

to to nature, to growing my own food,

1:07:26

to gardening, to moving

1:07:28

to Sweden, to, like, returning

1:07:30

to my ancestral lands, eventually

1:07:33

leading to this moment right here where I'm

1:07:35

sitting on our own farm, looking

1:07:38

out at the light, filling this beautiful room,

1:07:41

trees all around me, like, tea

1:07:43

brought me here. Tea

1:07:45

awakened this inside of me. Tea

1:07:48

led me to this place. So

1:07:52

as you can tell, and I'm sitting here, half

1:07:55

crying, half sniffling goes as to me as

1:07:57

such a precious memory and story

1:07:59

to share. But as

1:08:02

you can tell, this is a very very

1:08:06

personal spiritual journey of

1:08:08

mine. And

1:08:11

when someone asks me, hey, I wanna I'm

1:08:13

really intrigued yoga. I wanna start yoga

1:08:15

practice. I can say, hey, find

1:08:17

a great studio in your local area. Don't

1:08:20

even buy a mat. Rent one. You

1:08:22

know? Try couple different teachers and styles.

1:08:24

And then when you find something that resonates, just

1:08:26

return to it. Tea is different.

1:08:29

I I can't give you that 123,

1:08:32

step path to

1:08:34

beginning a practice other than

1:08:37

to say put your longing out there

1:08:40

and drink tea. And

1:08:43

it will change your life. And

1:08:47

maybe tea is not the planned spirit

1:08:49

that you're feeling particularly drawn

1:08:51

to, perhaps you're having similar kinds

1:08:53

of feelings toward

1:08:55

another plant. And

1:08:58

I cycle through this all the time. Like, I get kind

1:09:00

of stuck on, like, one plant. Like, oh, I'm

1:09:02

so into this right now. I don't know why.

1:09:05

It's like I wanna learn about it

1:09:07

and read about it and listen to podcasts about

1:09:09

it and forage it and

1:09:11

taste it and drink it and and

1:09:13

learn about it and and and process

1:09:15

it and, like, be with it. Like, there's something

1:09:17

about that planned spirit that's calling

1:09:19

me at that moment. And it's deeper than

1:09:22

just medicinal in a physical sense.

1:09:25

It's deeper than just learning about something from

1:09:27

that mental place and educating ourselves

1:09:29

about a plant. Like it's magical.

1:09:31

Like, there's magic and something unseen

1:09:35

there. And when we start treating

1:09:37

nature as alive, and

1:09:39

as relational and as a place, that's

1:09:42

a part of us. You know, it it becomes

1:09:44

a very different way of relating to every

1:09:46

plant that comes your way. And

1:09:48

all of a sudden, it's like we're we're

1:09:51

home. Right?

1:09:53

Where it's it's very hard to exploit and

1:09:55

take advantage of nature when we know

1:09:57

we are nature. And think

1:10:00

tea can be such a beautiful way

1:10:03

back to that remembering. So

1:10:06

yeah, put your longing

1:10:09

out into the world and drink tea.

1:10:13

That's it. I

1:10:16

can't believe we are over an hour

1:10:18

into this podcast, and I have only answered

1:10:20

two questions. But

1:10:23

I do feel like these two questions were two

1:10:25

very, very important ones, and they

1:10:27

deserve this time and this space.

1:10:30

So thank you. We

1:10:32

returned to ask Rachel once a month.

1:10:35

So I promise, you know, just three

1:10:37

podcasts from now. There'll be another one. I

1:10:39

promise But thank

1:10:41

you for being here. Thank you for listening. I

1:10:44

love you and whatever calling you're

1:10:46

feeling inside of yourself right now to

1:10:49

either set a loving boundary

1:10:52

or connect with nature or

1:10:55

both.

1:10:56

Go do it. From the heart, we'll be

1:10:58

back next week. Thank

1:11:03

you so much for listening to this week's

1:11:05

episode. If you enjoy the show, make

1:11:07

sure you listen, rate, review, and follow

1:11:09

all episodes of from the heart with Rachel

1:11:11

Brathen. This was presentation of

1:11:13

Cadence thirteen Studio, and I'll see

1:11:15

you next week.