John and Vivica talk to Harry, aka KnotSoCocky, about kink, shibari and developing deeper languages of love.

Timestamps

01:25 - Harry’s introduction and background in Shibari

05:00 - How the emptiness of gay hookup culture led to a deeper exploration into kink

06:30 - How technology changed the gay dating and hookup scene over the years.

09:58 - Joining Recon for the first time.

11:05 - Meeting his first sub online.

12:45 - Harry’s first experience with rope.

14:00 - Learning more and refining his process and experience with kink sessions.

16:00 - How kink enabled Harry to slow down and have more intimate experiences with his partners.

18:20 - The different levels of shibari.

19:00 - The importance of safety in Shibari.

20:45 - Where to learn new ties as a beginner.

22:23 - Which ropes to start with as a beginner.

23:00 - How different ropes work differently.

30:24 - How shibari can be therapeutic and meditative.

32:24 - Is Shibari always a sexual experience?

34:00 - How to talk about what your looking for in an experience with new partners.

*35:55 - How the Shibari experience is always a partnership and the dom is actually in service to the sub.

40:30 - Is sex a part of your Shibari practice?

*44:04 - What do you need to know about safety to get started in Shibari?

*49:15 - Where are you sharing knowledge and engaging with other people to learn?

*52:36 - How to find an entry into the kink and Shibari community?

53:39 - Issues with FetLife

56:00 - Are all kinks acceptable?

56:45 - How to find the good communities for learning about kink

*1:02:27 - How to come out of the closet about your kinky lifestyle

1:06:06 - How to get over your shyness as a newcomer to the scene

*1:09:54 - How kink creates an opportunity for deepened intimacy.

1:12:26 - Tops, bottoms and switches and how to navigate your place in those roles.

*1:14:20 - How to deal with people who are undereducated about safety and proper ways to engage in kink and rope play.

*1:18:18 - How important is aftercare in kink?

*1:28:32 - How Kink expands your languages of love

1:30:57 - Getting started on Recon for meeting other kinky people

1:31:26 - Where are all the lesbian dating apps and scenes and bars?

1:31:10 - Talking specific Shibari ties (watch along with us on YouTube).

1:56:45 - Vibrating rope for extra experience.

2:09:00 - Wrapping up.